Give it Time
by novice242
Summary: Puckleberry-starting from Special Education to senior year (different from the show) and on to college. Really St Puckleberry SFuinn & multiple ships; with main cast, Shelby & Beth. Multi-pov. Synopsis: Post-Finchel, Rachel & Puck enter an agreement that grows into more than they bargained for, but what will they do about it? Will Puck realize he should be with Rachel for real?
1. Physical Education

**Ch. 1. Physical Education**

**A.N.** This story starts where _Special Education_ left off for Puck and Rachel and fast-forwards ahead. Characters and couples are on a winding road that will take them through high school, into college, and maybe beyond. Multiple character perspectives will be featured, along with occasional suggested listening on my youtube channel. The universe is not related to my other stories, but the characterizations will probably be familiar. The idea is actually loosely based on a prompt given to me by **chrpangel** last year to build a story around the song _Two Out of Three Ain't Bad_ (by Meat Loaf) for Puck and Rachel (and Quinn), though the story I've come up with has taken on a life of its own, in part to reflect Season 2's events before the hiatus.

T for now (language and innuendo) but will probably become M.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Glee or anything familiar.

…

Damn this whole having a conscience thing, Puck groaned to himself as he left the Berry house. It was probably a losing battle, but he still thought there was a chance he could win Finn's friendship back. De-virginizing another girlfriend of Finn's would not be the way to do that. He'd been friends with Finn longer than he and Rachel had…whatever it was they had. Besides, Finn was so wrapped up in Rachel, he didn't seem to even mind that the new Sam kid was all over Quinn. Sam was a floppy-haired limp-dick, so Puck figured he had a pretty good shot at getting Quinn back. Puck thought that if he stayed away from Rachel, he'd have a chance at restoring his friendship with Finn AND actually snagging Quinn. But with Rachel in the picture, he was sure neither of those things would happen. So leaving was the right thing to do, for sure.

Still, as he closed the front door behind him, the look of disappointment in Rachel's eyes when he said he couldn't do this was seared into his brain. At first, he'd wanted to explain that he just meant he couldn't keep making out, leading to taking her virginity while she was still with Finn. The key being that she was still with Finn, not the virginity part. Not to mention that he was sorta with Santana again and she'd have his balls in a jar if he cheated on her with _Rachel_. But when she quickly agreed that he was right and she was wrong for going so far with him to make Finn jealous again, Puck had a realization.

Rachel freakin' Berry had been using him.

And not in a good way.

He didn't like it at all. Being used—over and over—by girls who were just mad at Finn and trying to make him jealous—not cool. Well, the whole make-out session stuff was hot and all, but a part of him—one he'd never admit to having—had thought every time, _every fucking time_, that Rachel was actually into him—that they might actually _be something_ together.

Not that Puck needed or wanted to be like, attached to anyone.

Fuck no.

Casual sex was better, he assured himself. No strings.

And if he should be attached to _anyone_, it should be his baby mama, Quinn, he reasoned.

So that day Puck turned his back on whatever feelings he had for Rachel Berry. He left her house in the rearview mirror and didn't look back.

Meanwhile, Rachel pushed down whatever feelings she had for Noah Puckerman to focus on her boyfriend, her dream man, Finn Hudson. She didn't understand the gravitational pull that drew her to Noah, but she decided that she had a completely different pull to Finn. She was drawn to him for his good qualities and she understood his bad qualities the way she had thought he understood hers by now. (Of course, at the time she didn't realize that she was drawn to Puck for similar reasons—she chalked most of it up to his irresistible sex appeal.)

Finn was the right choice for her. He was her boyfriend; this was just a fight and a little set-back. But the Finchel would rise again, she vowed to comfort herself.

And rise it did, though it took a bumpy course.

… 8 Months Later …

Rachel and Finn eventually started dating again after their indiscretions with others came to light. They just had some additional rules for each other: Finn had to stay away from Santana and Quinn; and Rachel had to stay away from her ex-boyfriends too (Puck and Jesse). Staying away from Jesse was easy, considering he had gone off to college and had no real ties to McKinley anymore. Staying away from Puck was a little more difficult. Glee interactions were acceptable under her agreement with Finn. What she didn't tell Finn was how she often saw the Puckermans at Temple, and it seemed like Noah had been attending more of the Jewish Community events. And yes, Rachel knew that lying or withholding the truth was what got them into trouble in the first place, but she reasoned that as long as she didn't backslide into an unintended kissing session, she'd be fine. It was the start of their senior year and Rachel and Finn were pretty much on top of the world—as much as glee club losers could be. They were in competition with Sam and Quinn for most adorable power couple, and they all had these intense needs to be popular.

Maybe they cracked under the pressure.

But Rachel knew she wasn't seeing things when she noticed the looks Finn exchanged with Santana. Flirty looks. Sexy looks. Secretive looks.

Rachel couldn't stand it. Not any longer. She didn't have any proof that Finn was cheating on her with Santana, but her suspicions were overwhelming. And there was the other matter to consider—she was still a virgin and Finn had stopped pressuring her so often for sex. For a brief time, Rachel had been relieved to have such an understanding boyfriend, which she told him.

"Thank you, Finn, for understanding that I'm not ready to take this big step with you until I know I can trust you and I know that you won't leave me."

"Uh, yeah, you're welcome, Rach," Finn shrugged sheepishly and graced her with his cute half-smile.

Rachel melted. She indulged in some of the physical activities she was comfortable with—without actually having sex. She thought that was satisfying enough for them both.

But later, the paranoia crept up into her thoughts. Why didn't Finn bring up the fact that he still had trust issues with her too for her cheating on him? He always used to throw that back in her face. Why did he gradually stop asking (constantly) when she'd be ready? Could he be 'getting some on the side'—from Santana?

There was one person she knew she had to ask.

…

Puck was pretty surprised to see Rachel striding toward him through the crowded hallway. He looked around to see if anyone else around could be her target. Nope, she stopped directly in front of him.

"Sup?" he grinned as he closed his locker and leaned against it casually. "Have to say, considering your little pact with Finn, I didn't expect to see you talking to me in public outside of the JCC," he looked down at her with an eyebrow raised.

"Yes, well, I think our pact is dissolved," Rachel said in a low voice, nervously tucking some hair behind her ear. Why did Noah Puckerman always have to look so…tempting? She bit her lip to keep herself in check. She was on a quest for answers—for justification in her doubts about Finn.

"What happened?" he asked. Damn, he sounded too concerned. He tried to fix it. "What's this have to do with me?" he said in a rough voice.

Rachel was undeterred by his rude demeanor. She knew better than to take that very seriously. "I have a question for you. I need your expert opinion about…Santana and Finn," she looked sideways and lowered her voice further to a whisper. Puck had to lean into her to even hear what she was saying. Her hair smelled really good. Puck wanted to move but he couldn't back away and still hear her. He tried not to breathe in the scent of her shampoo.

Rachel continued haltingly, "Do you think it's likely or unlikely that Finn would go to Santana for illicit sex…since he and I…don't...because I haven't…given _it _up?"

Now Puck let out a breath and took a step away from her. He tried to force himself to think before speaking, but instead right away he said, "Yeah, I'd say it's fuckin' likely."

Shit. He figured he'd said the wrong thing when Rachel's eyes started watering up.

She took a moment and composed herself, looking up at him with steely resolve. "I should probably have more evidence than just my suspicions and yours before I…do something rash. Have you been…_dating_ Santana again? It's hard for me to keep track, you know, especially since you and I are not supposed to have any interactions. And since Santana and I are practically sworn enemies, I obviously can't ask her who her latest…boyfriend is. What I'm asking is: do you see her with enough frequency to have an idea if she could also be…_seeing_ Finn? Or is your assessment without basis?"

Rachel realized she was rambling and speaking quickly, but she had to get to her next class and accomplish her intelligence-gathering mission now since she didn't know if she'd have another opportunity to talk to Noah when Finn wasn't around.

Puck smirked. "Yeah, I've been _dating_ Santana, if that's what you want to call it. And yeah, she'd have time to see other people. We're not exclusive. She usually says she's seeing Brittany when she's not with me, which is _totally_ cool with me. But now that you mention it, lately when I've asked to get in on that action, she'll say no. And _Santana _didn't used to say _no_, if you get my drift." He leered down at Rachel, enjoying the shocked look on her face. He loved getting reactions out of her like that. She was so hysterical.

"You're disgusting!" she managed to exclaim in an offended tone while maintaining a low volume.

The combination of shouting in a whisper was something Puck found unusual coming from Rachel Berry, infamous loudmouth. He laughed.

At that, Rachel turned on her heel and did her best speed-walking to get to her class. She was more worked up than ever.

Puck watched her go before sauntering across the hall to Spanish. He wasn't sure what would happen next, but at least it was entertaining.

…

By the time glee club started, Rachel had a plan to interrogate a few members. She grabbed the elbow of her first victim and headed for the front of the room, in sight but out of earshot of the other students.

"Brittany, I have a serious question for you. Do you ever…_see_ Santana and Puck at the same time?"

"Sure," Brittany shrugged. "All the time. I see them both right now." Brittany waved at Santana, and then at Puck, who gave her a cocky nod.

Rachel sighed and leaned closer to whisper her explanation. "I mean, lately, have the three of you ever…had…make-out sessions?…All _together_ at the _same time_," she stressed.

Brittany frowned. "I don't think so…I know you mean threesomes. We totally used to do that," she assured Rachel, who frowned back. "But we haven't done that for a long time."

"Thanks, Brittany, that's all I wanted to know," Rachel said as she headed back to the chairs.

"You know I dated Artie, right?" Brittany asked randomly.

Rachel nodded. "Yes, you were a cute couple."

Brittany nodded solemnly. "Yeah, I know."

Finn walked into the room and Rachel swore she saw a look, a little puckering of his lips, directed to Santana—who was definitely not on the same side of the room as his _girlfriend_. Rachel was slowly boiling over internally, and suffering through glee next to him as they listened to Sam and Quinn singing another sub-par duet was nearly impossible. Rachel's bad mood exaggerated Quinn's breathy voice and occasional sharps and accentuated the twang in Sam's enunciation and tone. She only realized she was clenching her fists when Finn reached over and patted her hand, gently working her fingers into a relaxed position.

For a split-second, Rachel let herself smile as she gazed into his kind eyes. Then she thought of how duplicitous those eyes were.

Not that she could say too much about that, given that it was true that she _had cheated_ on him (even if it was only kissing) whereas he had only lied to her about his previous experience (even though that experience was way worse than kissing, in her mind). But Rachel was convinced that now Finn _was_ cheating on her with Santana, and not just as a one-time make-out session kind of thing like what she did with Puck. So she pulled herself together and leaned close to whisper in his ear. "We need to talk."

Her tone must have been harsh because Finn looked at her in surprise then nodded and dropped her hand. He gave her one last hurt-puppy-dog-look before turning his attention to Mr. Schue and his ridiculous lesson on teamwork that was somehow supposed to be related to the 5-part harmony they were about to attempt.

Incorporating complicated harmonies came from Kurt's experience at Dalton; and since Karofsky graduated and the Hudson-Hummel family wasn't rich, Kurt transferred back and had rejoined glee. Everyone was glad to have Kurt back, even Rachel—maybe _especially_ Rachel. Of course, she appreciated the talent he brought back to New Directions, but also they had developed a tenuous friendship, and Rachel saw a lot more of Kurt over the summer while visiting the Hudson-Hummels and waiting for Finn to finish summer football practices.

As Mr. Schue wrapped up his lesson of the day and got into assigning the parts, Rachel decided that the idea of 5-part harmonies seemed like a worthy one, as long as she still got a solo. But she hated the way Mr. Schue kept singling her out as a bad team-mate—well, at least he seemed to be doing that with his eyes during his teamwork speech. It's not that Rachel didn't recognize the talent of the others in the group—she did. But her talent was all she had; it was her identity—especially now that she was about to lose Finn.

Rachel didn't get a solo. She let her mind wander, working through past events and what she was going to do next.

When glee was finally over, Rachel worked up her courage and protected her heart to hear the confession she was certain was coming.

"Finn, I need you to be honest with me," she said as she faced him in their chairs.

"Ok. What's this about?"

Everyone was straggling out of the music room, taking longer than humanly possible in Rachel's opinion, but she wanted to wait until the room was clear. Finally she said, "It's about us. And about you and Santana."

Finn looked like a deer caught in headlights of an oncoming car. Then he looked like a kid who'd been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. His expressions alone confirmed Rachel's fears. She felt a tightness constricting her chest. She thought she might pass out. But she had to hear him say it. She tried to calm her breathing. Her fantasy of her perfect life with Finn and their _happily ever after _was crumbling in front of her.

"Are you having sex with her?" she asked directly. "Please, just be honest."

"Ok…" he winced before confirming. "Yes."

"Yes?" she squeaked, even though it was the answer she was expecting. Rachel's mind went blank as everything she'd been planning to say escaped her.

Finn looked at her with sorrow as he nodded. "I'm really sorry, Rach. It's like part of me knew it was wrong but another part thought what she said made sense."

"Santana? What did she say?" Rachel managed to ask. She needed to know what Santana said to persuade Finn that this affair was a good idea—not that she thought Finn needed much convincing. She braced herself for his response.

"I dunno, I guess Santana screwed with my head, but she said stuff that made sense. About not hurting you but still getting what I need…you know, physically."

"But why keep dating me if you were with her? Don't you think this means we should break up?" Rachel asked.

"No, don't you see?" he asked with an odd gleam of excitement lighting his eyes. "I thought we had a good solution. Like Santana said, you're not ready for sex, but I am and she is. And you and I have this like awesome power couple status thing going on, you know? You've become more popular, even outside glee club. But also, it's like if we break up again, the club will suffer without our…united leadership. You know what I mean?"

"How selfless of you to think of the glee club," she said with sarcasm Finn apparently couldn't detect.

"Yeah, I was trying to be thoughtful—finding the best compromise," Finn nodded.

"And I suppose everyone knows about this arrangement except for me? Again?"

Finn scratched his head. "Don't think so. I didn't tell anyone, and I don't think she did this time. She just really likes having sex without the dating issues, and I think she realized that we wouldn't be able to keep it going if anyone knew, so she didn't blurt it out this time like she did that day in glee last year. So nobody else knows. Just you. And us."

The fact that Finn and Santana were an 'us' in his mind was a painful blow. In the moment, Rachel had a flash of insight about someone other than herself—which was unusual for her. Typically she had to make a concerted effort to see things from someone else's perspective. The other strange thing was that she wasn't putting herself in Finn's place, but instead she found herself thinking about Santana.

"Do you think Santana just acts that way about sex and dating because she's expected to due to her past decisions? Do you think she's lonely? Do you think she actually has feelings for you?"

Finn waved that concern away. "I don't think so. She and I don't have what you and I have. You know, with the talking and stuff. It's just sex."

Rachel flinched.

"But the good news is that Santana says I'm getting better at doing it," he flashed a brief smile and looked at her hopefully. "So by the time you're ready, I'll do a good job for you," he said sincerely, taking her hand. "We're gonna be ok, right?" he implored.

Rachel almost thought there was something sweet about that statement, but the disgust and disappointment was too strong to dismiss. She pulled her hand free of his grasp. "Is that really why you're doing this with her? To get better at _doing it_ for me?" she asked skeptically.

"Well, yeah, I mean not at first; but when Santana explained all the reasons, that one really made a lot of sense. I don't want to hurt you Rachel, you know, when it's your first time."

"Too late!" she exclaimed. "I'm already hurt! And I already decided that my first time won't be with you!" she surprised herself by shouting.

Finn was surprised too. And hurt. He stood dumbstruck for a while as he watched Rachel stomp away. It took him a few seconds before he called out, "Rachel, wait! No! Let's talk about this! I'm sorry!"

But it was all in vain. Rachel had already started building the wall around her heart against Finn.

And she knew what would make her feel better. But she wasn't quite ready to go there. As she burst out of the school and into the parking lot, the bright sunlight and singing birds contrasted sharply with her emotional state. She didn't want to feel better quite yet. She needed to wallow in her sadness, anger, disappointment, and shame. Yes, shame. She was ashamed of herself for several reasons, not the least of which was her inability to maintain a stable relationship with Finn Hudson. She was a failure. She lost. Santana won. Rachel drove home, fighting back tears.

She let them flow once she was safe in her room.

She wished the weather would cooperate and rain. She needed clouds to bring their gray haze and stormy tears to commiserate with her. She didn't really have anyone else.

…

It didn't end completely without Finn trying to call her at home, to talk to her at school, to ask her to forgive him and start over. He even said he'd stop seeing Santana. But when Rachel didn't give in, Finn gave up.

Not long after that, Finn and Santana became an official couple.

At least one brunette and two blonds at McKinley were affected by this new pair more than each girl thought she should be.

After walking around in a melodramatic fog for too long, Rachel finally made up her mind that she was going to try to move on…to do something to make herself feel better.

…

Puck was surprised again to see Rachel approach him at his locker.

"This gonna be a regular thing, Berry?" he asked nonchalantly. "You, popping up randomly to question me before Spanish class?"

"Probably," she nodded. "It depends on your response to my proposal."

Puck raised an eyebrow. Rachel started talking again.

He must have looked shocked at first when she explained her proposition. But the shock was quickly replaced with an irrepressible grin.

"Damn, B, that sounds like the best deal ever."

"Yes, I agree; it should be very satisfying," she said matter-of-factly.

"So to be clear, I'm totally on board with this. But don't you think it says something that you've been holding out on Finn for like a year, but suddenly you're ready to drop your panties for me? Just sayin'."

"So you don't want to do it?" she asked slowly, eyes wide and vulnerable.

"Fuck no, I wanna fucking do it. I'm down," he said quickly. "Didn't you listen when I said I'm on board? I just want to make sure it's what you really want. This isn't something you can take back. And I don't just mean your unpopped cherry." He looked at her skeptically; sure she was going to take back her offer. Part of him wanted her to take back the offer.

"That's very mature of you Noah, to be concerned."

"Yeah, uh, thanks. I'm trying. Whatever." Now he really wanted her to take back the offer.

"No need to be embarrassed that I noticed your maturity. I find it very attractive." She looked up at him and he swore she said it in that sexy voice on purpose. He felt a little movement in his junk over the way she was looking at him all sexified. Ok, he was glad she hadn't taken the offer off the table. This was just about sex, and that was his specialty.

"Oh, Berry, it is so on. This will be the best sex of your life," he boasted.

"Again, I agree. But it will be the first sex of my life, so it won't be hard to qualify as the best," she said with a slight smile playing on her lips.

"Oh shit, right. I'll be de-virginizing you to get back at Finn. That's one hell of an ending," Puck's mind was racing, and what he said he surprised him. "If we go through with this, you can never go back—you and Finn will probably never get back together. That ship has fucking sailed between me and Finn—we'll never get our friendship back the way it was because of how I fucked up and how he's a stubborn douche sometimes. So I'm up for getting down with you, B. But if you ever want to have a chance of getting back together with him, we should end this conversation right now," he warned.

"This isn't about Finn really," she protested. "It's about me."

"Ri-ight," he dismissed her response. "Whatever you say. But I'll do you up right, if that's what you really want." He felt a flash of conscience or some shit for what he was about to agree to do, but he pushed that pussy conscience thing back down. "And after your first time, we'll just have to do it again a few more times so I can prove to you that I'm the best." He flashed his sex shark grin and gave her a charming wink. That ought to seal the deal.

Rachel looked startled—not quite what he was going for.

She felt flushed and spoke slowly. "You're right. If I do this, it will be over for me and Finn."

"Yeah, revenge sex tends to do that," he shrugged. "A little delayed response there, Berry. I already said that, repeatedly."

"Oh, I'm sorry. I suppose the weight of the situation is finally hitting me," she said with a theatrical stumble backward.

Puck sighed, shaking his head at her drama-queen performance and at the way this was all going downhill. Of course this wasn't really going to happen. Of course Rachel Berry wasn't really going to give up any chance of getting back with golden boy Finn just to have a sex romp with him. He should have known. Not that he was looking forward to it more than he should. Hell no, Berry was just another hot Jew virgin he was gonna enjoy de-flowering. He was still all about getting Quinn back.

"So, you in or not?" he said finally. "I got places to be. Text me, B, when you decide." He wasn't going to force her; she was the one who asked him in the first place. And he found that being detached worked wonders with making the ladies beg to be with him. Besides, he was still trying to prove himself to Quinn. So if he could get a little from Berry on the side, that would be awesome, but he wasn't gonna make any big effort for it.

"The end of Finchel," Rachel said to herself.

Puck couldn't help but turn back toward her. "Finchel? Did you fucking give yourself a couple nickname, Berry? That's crazy." Not that he didn't already know the girl was as crazy as they come.

"Maybe I did," she crossed her arms. "After we were called Puckleberry by the school, I thought Finn and I needed a portmanteau." Puck ignored the word he didn't know and rolled his eyes as Rachel continued her pointless rambling. "Hudberry was silly, so I went with our first names. Anyway, I've decided; I came to you for a reason, even if I haven't let all of the repercussions sink in."

Puck wasn't really listening since he figured she was still talking about her method of choosing the name Finchel.

"It's senior year. I'm going to New York after I graduate to pursue my destiny on Broadway. Finn will be here in Ohio at OSU. Maybe we just weren't meant to be. And if I keep wanting revenge on him so badly, I suppose I didn't love him as much as I thought I did..."

Puck had tuned into what she was saying by now, though he wished he hadn't. "Berry, you can keep some shit to yourself. I don't need to know the details. I just need to know if you want your taste of the Puckerone," he smirked at her. This time she rolled her eyes, but her lips curved into a smile. He knew things were getting back on the right track. But Puck thought of one more thing. "Oh, and if we do this, I have two conditions. First, you have to know that we're not gonna be dating. We'll be fucking."

Rachel stopped smiling and crossed her arms more tightly. She wasn't so sure this was a good idea, but she should have realized he'd say something like this.

Puck wasn't sure if he'd just blown it.

"And second?" she asked, tapping her foot impatiently.

"Right," he nodded, surprised she hadn't run off by now. "Second, we keep it on the DL. I don't know if that screws up your little plan though."

"Well, if we have a secret affair, it won't really be public revenge on Finn, just my own little comfort…But it never bothered you before to be seen with me, when we were dating. Why do you want to keep this a secret now? Would it be _that_ embarrassing?" her voice quivered a bit and her lip trembled.

Oh shit, not the waterworks. He couldn't stop himself from pulling her into a one-armed hug. "Hell no, it's not that at all. We'd be a couple of good looking Jews strutting down these halls," he told her with a smile. "Remember?"

She sniffled a little and nodded, so he dropped his arm from her shoulders. "It's because I'm still trying to win over Quinn, who I think still sorta hates you, so..."

"Oh, I'm sorry for propositioning you, in that case," Rachel said, with surprise evident in her voice and wide eyes. Then she raised an eyebrow at him. "But do you really think you should be accepting propositions if you're trying to be with Quinn?" she asked in a voice that was simultaneously sweet, sexy, and scolding.

"Isn't this the pot calling the kettle black?" he smirked down at her, leaning closer.

"No, our situations are not the same," she declared. She didn't seem flustered at all to Puck (who expected her to at least blush). If anything, she seemed to grow bolder. "And my question to you still stands," she said. "I'll let _you _think about it, and you text _me_ back with your answer."

Rachel flounced away, and Puck watched the skirt swishing at her thighs. Shit, she totally turned it around him, didn't she? Whatever, he didn't need to think about this. He was totally going for it. But maybe he'd wait until after football practice to text her. Then it would seem like he actually did think about it. And she'd probably be creaming her panties while she waited, thinking about him.

Oh hell yeah, he was _so_ in.

...

**A.N. ** Next time you'll see more of the motivations behind actions in this chapter and of course what happens next. I was planning to take a longer writing break so I could read others' works, but I realized the story idea I've had floating around for months might become irrelevant depending on what happens this season on Glee, and I prefer to get it out there before it gets too far away from the Special Education episode.

I hope you do review and send me messages with suggestions for what you'd like to see happen! Thanks!


	2. Pros and Cons

**Ch. 2. Pros and Cons**

**A.N.** Thanks so much to those of you who read, favorite-d, and reviewed the first chapter this story! Hopefully there will be enough interest that I'll be able to keep the story going throughout the intended journey without bringing it to an early end. More plot in this chapter, hopefully **kezztip**,** Nova802**,** shinecsc**,and everyone else enjoy! A bit from Quinn here for **kaelaelalmeee**! More determined!Rachel for **mse924**, and plot surprises for **lovesreading**,** miserella**, and** Stessa**. Hopefully later chapters will make **BittyAB18 **happy again after the (likely) end of the Junior Year saga and show that **Mac** and **sweetcaroline1986** are on the right track!

Also, this chapter has one jump back into the past (Glee Season 2) to explain some things that relate to the present in this story (their senior year). But I want to let you know I won't be jumping back in time throughout the story, it will be going forward unless I get requests for more glimpses into the past.

There's one song toward the end of the chapter, but I don't want to give it away here. Instead I put info for the link in another AN at the end so you can listen to the song on youtube if you're inclined. I'll apologize in advance for the unusual trouble with formatting I had with the lyrics.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Glee, any songs mentioned, or anything familiar.

…

It took a bit of will-power on Puck's part not to text Rachel right away to say that he's was still down to de-virginize her. Throughout the day at school, his thoughts wandered back to that day 8 months ago, when he walked out on his chance with Rachel because of his false belief that he and Finn would get back to being friends.

Yeah, he was totally wrong on that. At first after the whole Quinn thing, Finn refused to budge; then later it seemed like he was slowly coming around. But after Rachel admitted to her tiny, insignificant make-out session with Puck, Finn did his best to ignore his former friend. They became like people who knew each other and had to work together for certain shit (like glee and sports), but Puck couldn't call Finn his friend anymore. Hell, Artie was more of a friend than Finn!

And of course, after turning down Rachel because he had a nancy-pants loyalty to Finn (while at the same time hating always being second choice to the guy), Puck had turned his attention to Quinn. But that didn't go his way either, so he slid back into his routine with screwing around with Santana while waiting for an opportunity to break up Quinn and her fairy of a boyfriend, Sam Evans. There was only one good thing that came out of his brief affair-thing with Berry. Well, maybe two good things. The first had nothing to do with Berry and everything to do with him and Quinn. The second was another shot at fulfilling his divine mission to get into Rachel Berry's pants—now she was coming back for more—practically begging him to do what he'd been wanting to do since Simchat Torah two years ago!

But last year he wasn't thinking about her (much) at all.

… _6 Months Earlier_ …

Puck had made up his mind to get Finn back as a friend and Quinn back as his girlfriend. Finn shot him down in his wishy-washy way: barely acknowledging Puck, finding excuses not to hang out. Finally Puck called him on it.

"Will you get off the rag and forgive me already?" Puck nudged Finn. (It wasn't one of his finer moments, and he probably could have brought it up better, he realized later.)

"Dude! You're a terrible friend!" Finn shouted. Then he lowered his voice when he realized he wasn't acting like a leader. "Why would I want to be friends again with you? You're just gonna stab me in the back."

"It's a risk," he admitted self-deprecatingly. "Just kidding, man. I want to make things right. What do you say?"

Finn shook his head and walked away.

Puck tried not to dwell; instead he psyched himself up to move on to Quinn who had just reached her locker.

"Hey, girl," he said smoothly. "How about you and me get back on the love train?"

"Are you mental?" Quinn looked up at him incredulously.

Not the response he was hoping to get.

"No," he said petulantly. Then he shifted back into gear. "I just figure you've had enough of that little gaywad and you're ready for your real man again."

"What makes you think that?" she asked with amusement.

Puck noticed her slight smile and the fact that she wasn't bothering to defend Sam against the gaywad comment. He had a chance!

"Well, the way you're looking at me right now leads me to believe you're interested," he said, as he let his fingers graze her arm. But he could tell by the look that flashed in her eyes that he was losing her with that instead of winning. He had to dial down the sex shark and dial up the charm. "Besides, we could be awesome together, if you give us a chance," he smiled, looking at her hopefully.

She appraised him in silence for a moment before shaking her head. "I don't think so. We don't work. We already know this."

"But you never even gave us a chance!" he protested.

Quinn pondered this because he was right in some ways. She had written him off as a Lima Loser from the beginning. He had started to redeem himself, but his juvie record among other things just reinforced her instincts. She was trying to be a better person, so she didn't say this out loud.

Instead she said, "Based on history, I think I made the right choice. You'll have to give me some good reasons why I should even think about dating you again. And for the record, I'm perfectly happy with Sam, so I don't think you have much hope in winning your argument."

"Easy, I've got plenty of reasons."

Quinn looked at him expectantly.

"Well, first, we'll always be connected, Q, you and me," he gazed into her eyes.

"Hardly," she scoffed. "Just because you were my first doesn't mean we have to be a couple."

"But we have Beth together," Puck pointed out.

"No, Shelby has Beth," Quinn said firmly, distressed that he brought up their daughter. "_We_ don't have anything but the memories of our mistakes. In my church we call it a mixed blessing. I don't know what you call it in your…synagogue or whatever."

Puck rolled his eyes, sometimes he wasn't sure why he bothered with Quinn Fabray. "Yeah, _she's_ a blessing," is all he said.

"Like I said, Puck, I'm not choosing you over Sam. It was never about you or _us_ for me. You were my replacement for Finn." Quinn's face changed as if she were realizing something for the first time.

She was.

Was Sam her replacement for Finn too? It always came back to Finn. But surely not any more, even if maybe it had started out that way. Sam had the better body of the two for sure, and she and Sam didn't really fight like she and Finn used to—maybe because Quinn was trying to learn not to fly off the handle and yell at her boyfriends all the time. But these thoughts weren't helpful for getting Puck to move away from her locker. Finally Quinn spoke to the stunned boy in front of her.

"I'm sorry; that came out harsher than I intended. What I should say is that I need someone completely devoted to me. Like Finn was for a while. Like Sam is. You were never like that."

"I had pride, sure, but I was devoted to you," Puck argued. He was still stinging from being called Finn's replacement—out loud.

"You were sexting with Santana! Flirting with Cheerios! Telling me not to get fat! I was pregnant with your child!"

"Yeah…sorry about that. I was an idiot," he admitted.

"Yes, you were." Quinn's eyes were still flashing with anger, but her voice was calmer.

Puck saw his chance to step up the charm. He leaned in toward her, staring into her green eyes. "So do you think you and me can give it another shot? I could make it up to you…"

Quinn looked up at him, bit her lip for a moment—just a moment of hesitation before she made her choice.

"And get pregnant again? Not a chance!" Quinn declared.

…

Puck was pretty pissed (and hurt). He punched the locker after Quinn turned the corner, swore at the pain pulsing through his hand, and sent Santana a text.

She met him at his truck after school. "I only have 20 minutes," she said impassively.

"Get in," he motioned for her to head to the passenger side. She rolled her eyes but obeyed. He took her to his house since nobody would be home for at least another hour.

"What's got you all worked up?" Santana asked, reaching to squeeze his knee in a gesture that might have been considered friendly concern if it had come from someone else. Because it was Santana, he figured she was starting the brief amount of foreplay they needed to get going.

"Just had to have you now," he said, partly giving her the truth and partly playing along to get this party started.

Santana raised a skeptical eyebrow but kept her thoughts to herself. Instead of talking, she just started rubbing his neck with her left hand.

It was nice, so Puck told her. "Thanks, I really needed that."

"I can tell," she purred. "I'll take care of what you need."

And she did.

Puck took her up to his bedroom and poured all of his frustration into drilling Santana good.

"You love it, don't you?" she prompted, pushing her perfect rack in his face as she writhed on top of him for their quick round.

"Love it," he grunted in affirmation as he thrust deeper.

He knew that she really wanted him to say "I love _you_" but he couldn't bring himself to do it.

And she couldn't bring herself to ask.

He could tell though that it's what Santana really wanted: to feel love, to feel something—that's why she did what she did.

How did he know? Probably because he did the same thing.

They were both totally fucked up.

He definitely succeeded in meeting some of Santana's needs, just as she did for him. He dropped her back off at school with minutes to spare before her Cheerios practice. He didn't have anything to say to her before he sped out of the parking lot.

...

His conversation with Quinn really pissed him off—the way she wanted to act like Beth wasn't really theirs and basically didn't exist in her little world. Then he realized he was being an asshole since it's not like he had really made an effort to visit Beth or anything like that. Just _thinking_ about her existence (even though it's more than Quinn seemed to do) wasn't enough. It was worth jack shit. Now he was going to do something.

He decided to contact Shelby Corcoran. Fortunately, he'd gotten her cell number when she adopted Beth; he'd just rarely used it. He'd offered it to Rachel once, but she just shook her head and looked sad.

"She knows how to reach me if she wants to, but she doesn't."

Puck just nodded at the time. What could he really say? _My dad's a deadbeat too_? Nope, totally different situation. It didn't matter though because Finn whisked her away before he could think of something un-lame, and he saw Rachel smiling in no time.

So yeah, he wasn't entirely comfortable calling Shelby for some reason, but now he had this undeniable urge to ask her if he could visit Beth. It didn't take more thinking than that; Puck made the call.

It was a slightly awkward conversation, since at first Shelby had no idea who he was. It probably didn't help that he addressed himself as Puck.

"Who?"

"Sorry, this is Noah Puckerman. Beth's uh, real dad. You know, the glee kid who knocked up Quinn Fabray at McKinley High?"

"Yes, yes, of course. I'm sorry I didn't recognize you by your nickname. …So what can I do for you?" Shelby asked cautiously.

Puck explained that he was hoping to visit his daughter. "I don't want to take her away from you or anything, but if it's cool with you, I'd kinda like to see her."

"Of course you couldn't take her away from me," Shelby said defensively. "She's legally my daughter."

Puck was about to say something he would regret, but then Shelby told him what he wanted to hear before the words left his mouth.

"I'm sorry…I guess I'm just over-protective. Yes, you can come to visit Beth if you'd like. But there is a slight complication. I moved. We moved…to Cleveland…in a nice house near Lake Erie."

"Shit," he muttered. "And you didn't tell anyone?" he exclaimed, feeling the anger rising in his chest. He was fucking pissed off that his own daughter could have been out of the state without his knowledge, even though that didn't happen to be the case.

"If you mean that I didn't tell _you_, no, I didn't."

"And Rachel, I bet you didn't tell her either," Puck accused.

"Rachel?" Shelby asked, seeming to momentarily forget about her daughter. "Oh, no, you're right, I didn't tell Rachel. I…I thought it would be better to make a clean break."

"She is your daughter too," Puck said pointedly.

"Rachel and I should have never discovered each other," she said. "Though I don't know why I'm defending myself to you."

"Maybe because you know I'm questioning what kind of mother you'll be to _my_ daughter considering the way you've _abandoned your other daughter_? I don't know, maybe that's it?" he asked sarcastically.

"Maybe you shouldn't have given up your daughter to the state of Ohio, allowing me an easy adoption process," she retorted sharply.

"I didn't have a say!"

"Well, given the antagonistic relationship we seem to have inexplicably cultivated within a few moments of conversing, I think it would be best if I decline your request to visit Beth."

It took Puck a moment to process what she just told him. "You talk just like her, you know."

"What?" she asked in a wavering whisper.

"You sound just like Rachel. She says stuff like that. Always using big words and stuff. She's probably a lot like you."

Shelby spoke softly. "Are you…one of Rachel's friends?"

Puck sensed her weakness. Besides, it's not like he was totally lying. "Yeah, we're good friends. We even dated, though it didn't end up working out. But we're still friends. She's a good person."

"You forgot to say 'talented'," Shelby said with a smile in her voice.

"That's a given; you already knew that." Puck was smiling too.

Shelby relented. "Well, I suppose we can arrange a visit. One visit won't hurt. Will her m-…will Quinn be joining you?"

"Can I get back to you on that?" He hoped she would.

She didn't.

But that didn't stop Puck. The next weekend, he drove the 3 hours to see Beth and Shelby. Actually he, his mom, and his sister all made the trip to Cleveland. His mom didn't want him going alone on some trip—she wasn't even sure if she should believe her son's story until they actually arrived.

It was a pretty surreal experience, seeing a little girl who looked like him (and Quinn) being raised by a woman who looked a lot like Rachel Berry. It was also bizarre that Shelby seemed interested in hearing about Rachel, but she wouldn't call her and talk to her herself. During the first visit Puck didn't think too much about it because he was busy falling in love with his little girl. She was the most amazing thing ever.

But that one visit turned into more. Puck kept trying to get Quinn to join him on his trips to Cleveland, but she always made excuses. Well, after more than a month of rejected invitations, she did go with him once for a first-birthday celebration. And while Puck had originally hoped that he could get Quinn involved in Beth's life too and that it would bring the two of them closer together, he was happy that at least he was getting to see his daughter as she learned new words, started walking, all that awesome shit.

His mom couldn't go with him every time, and once Puck thought about asking Rachel, but he figured it would be too weird for everyone. Shelby was still stubbornly refusing to be a part of Rachel's life, and Puck didn't want to see Rachel's sad face if he told her that he was seeing her mom, along with his daughter, a few times a year. Besides, at the time this was all going down, he wasn't supposed to talk to Rachel anyway because of her stupid pact with Finn.

… _Present Day_ …

Puck waited until after football practice to text Rachel back, just as he had planned. 'I'm all in, B. Can't wait to rock ur world.' As he hit 'send' he licked his lips in anticipation of the awesomeness in his future. He'd been wanting to get under Berry's skirt for…forever, so the fact that it was actually going to happen was pretty damn sweet. And Finn was out of the picture, finally!

Not that he cared.

He just hated being second string to Finn all the fucking time.

While Puck wasn't surprised at all to get a text back immediately (he was a stud after all), he was surprised by two things. First, the short message he got in reply. All it said was 'good'. That was very unlike the Rachel Berry he knew, the one who wrote full sentence essays instead of text messages. But still, for an instant, Puck felt a rush of accomplishment. He had put Rachel Berry at a loss for words. And finally she wasn't doing this with some motive about Finn—since she agreed to the whole secret thing. The second surprise for Puck was that he nearly bumped into her as he passed the music room to head to the parking lot.

"Damn, Berry," he said when he realized it was her. "Anxious for your Puckalicious lovin', huh?" he smirked.

"I-I suppose that's an accurate characterization," Rachel stammered before recovering.

"That's right," he grinned.

Rachel shook her head and continued. "But the reason I'm here had nothing to do with you. I was just taking advantage of the empty choir room to practice a song. It is unlikely that I'll be able to perform this particular song in glee for the person it is intended," she finished with a trace of bitterness.

"Let me guess, it's for Finn?" Puck asked sharply.

Rachel nodded. "Not that it matters," she gave a little shrug.

Puck dropped from his little high when he realized that this was _still all about Finn_. He let his cynical side get back in the drivers' seat. "So, you still sure about your little arrangement? Even though we're both keeping it a secret, I make no guarantees that the truth won't come out and ruin your chances with Finn forever. Secrets tend to get out around here."

Rachel was surprised by the venom in his voice, considering what they were about to begin together and how pleasant and flirty he'd seemed moments ago. But she supposed he could be reliving past anger when referring to the way she told his secret to Finn—though he'd almost seemed relieved at the time when she'd revealed him as the father. "I'm sorry if I've upset you somehow, though I have no idea how I've managed it."

"Whatever, I'm not upset," he said in a tone that proved he was lying. "Are you really willing to do this or not?"

She looked up at him defiantly, anger and confusion simmering. "I understand the risks."

"Fine," Puck stated, pushing past Rachel through the doors to head to his truck. He was NOT going to be Rachel Berry's bitch. He was NOT the Replacement Finn. Fuck no.

Rachel stood there for a second, gaping at him, wondering why he rushed by her without planning their next move. He wasn't even polite enough to open the door for her.

"Noah Puckerman!" she yelled as she ran to catch up with him. "What in the world is your problem?"

Puck rolled his eyes to himself as he turned back to face her. "What?"

"I will not tolerate your rude behavior toward me! Not if you expect me to…go through with our agreement!" she said the last part in a loud whisper, just in case anyone was around to overhear.

"Whatever. This whole thing was your idea and it's more like a favor from me to you than anything else. I can get a piece of ass, even virgin ass, whenever I want," he boasted, though his words sounded hollow.

"Well, if you can't even treat me with respect, then I am not inclined to fulfill my proposition," she declared, crossing her arms in front of her chest for emphasis.

Of course, for Puck that just emphasized her luscious little boobs. He couldn't help staring. Rachel noticed the glazed look in his eyes and the direction of his gaze. She suppressed her grin and scowled harder, squeezing her arms tighter. She took a step closer to him, and Puck started to back away. He wasn't scared, but that look on her face made him think it was best to dodge out of range. Rachel smiled at the sight of him ducking away from her. Her sudden smile caught him so off-guard, that he was too late to move before she was reaching up on her tiptoes to whisper in his ear.

"I have a feeling that you want this to happen as much as I do."

Puck shivered as he felt her breath on his ear and realized what she was saying.

"Well, it's not every day I get to score one of Finn Hudson's virgin girlfriends. In fact, it's only happened once before," he retorted, pleased at his quick-thinking.

Rachel stepped back and frowned at his mention of Finn and allusion to Quinn. But in an instant her evil genius face came back. "I find your behavior repugnant, so I think this will only work if we set up the details and conditions of this arrangement. If you're still interested, meet me tomorrow after school." She left him staring after her as she strode to her car.

"I'm no good with rules!" he called after her.

"Your choice!" She didn't turn around.

…

After their argumentative encounter, Rachel was starting to have doubts about her plan to lose her virginity to Noah Puckerman. She decided she needed to think through her situation—make a Pros and Cons list (again). She needed to re-assess the benefits and risks of going through with this. She concentrated on her list, coming up with detailed reasons for and against. She organized and reorganized, ranking the items in order of importance. She reviewed the top 10 for each category and found many were versions of the same handful of issues. Pros involved feeling better about herself and how she's been secretly drawn to Noah for a long time. She knew Noah had a good heart (deep down) and that he would make the experience feel safe and natural. Such a drastic measure would be a tangible way to close the doors to her past and move forward with her life. It seemed like a rare opportunity too good to pass up. Cons involved losing Finn forever, the way Puck's behavior may make her regret the decision, the possibility that she may be rushing things instead of waiting to find love, and the concerns that she might unintentionally become jealous of other girls and actually feel more shame and pain than she already was.

Multiple looks at her Cons list told her that things pretty much couldn't get worse than they already are. Perhaps because of her non-traditional upbringing, she also knew that she wasn't too concerned with issues of sex-before-marriage and things (like Quinn and the doomed Celibacy Club). Yes, she'd wanted to have sex only associated with a healthy and loving relationship, but above all, Rachel was practical. She honestly couldn't think of any better way to pack away all of the hurt and worthlessness she felt from Finn's cheating than to experience real desire from Noah Puckerman. She knew it would be only sexual desire she'd see in his eyes and feel in his touch, but for now, she thought that would be enough. As long as he treated her like the center of attention during those all-important moments (which she had a feeling he would because that would be written into the contract), she thought this experience could be one of the best things that she could do.

Now that she had convinced herself, she next worked on her list of terms for their agreement.

…

Rachel knew her final decision would depend on how things went the next day at school and whether Noah accepted her conditions. She would not stand for being mistreated. Not again. Not by…the one who was going to be forever remembered as 'her first'. But she'd have to wait until after school for the final verdict. In the meantime, she had to get through glee, with her best friends and enemies—some of whom were the same individuals filling both categories.

Rachel was the first to arrive, and she decided to take a chance. She'd seen Holly Holiday taking over Mr. Schue's Spanish class today, so it was pretty safe to assume she'd be the glee sub. And that meant that she wouldn't get yelled at for what she was about to do. Rachel popped in her cd, preparing for the moment when Finn walked into the room. First to arrive was Artie, who raised his eyebrow at her questioningly when he saw her at the piano with her portable cd player and speakers set up. Finally Finn came in, and Rachel pressed play. It didn't matter to her if anyone else was there to witness it or not, but she didn't mind the way everyone started watching her as they walked in after Finn.

The music started, and Rachel sang her heart out to Kelly Clarkson's _Since U Been Gone_.

_Here's the thing_

_We started out friends_

_It was cool, but it was all pretend_

_Yeah, yeah, since you been gone_

_You're dedicated, you took the time_

_Wasn't long 'til I called you mine_

_Yeah, yeah, since you been gone_

_And all you'd ever hear me say_

_Is how I picture me with you_

_That's all you'd ever hear me say  
_

Rachel sang into the microphone she brought out just for this purpose. It made her feel more empowered.

_But since you been gone_

_I can breathe for the first time_

_I'm so movin' on, yeah yeah_

_Thanks to you, now I get what I want_

_Since you been gone_

_How can I put it? You put me on_

_I even fell for that stupid love song_

_Yeah, yeah, since you been gone_

_How come I'd never hear you say_

_I just wanna be with you?_

_Guess you never felt that way  
_

Rachel felt a hand on her shoulder just before she heard Miss Holiday join her in the chorus.

_But since you been gone_

_I can breathe for the first time_

_I'm so movin' on, yeah, yeah_

_Thanks to you, now I get, I get what I want_

_Since you been gone  
_

Holly (as she liked the glee clubbers to call her) danced around the room, encouraging Rachel even more. She sang facing Holly, and she sang to Finn.

_You had your chance, you blew it_

_Out of sight, out of mind_

_Shut your mouth, I just can't take it_

_Again and again and again and again  
_

After belting out these lyrics to Finn, Rachel let herself have fun. She found herself alternating between her 'attitude expressions' and genuine smiles. Even the girls (except Santana) and Kurt joined in singing from their seats.

_Since you been gone (since you been gone)_

_I can breathe for the first time_

_I'm so movin' on, yeah yeah_

_Thanks to you (thanks to you)_

_Now I get, I get what I want_

_I can breathe for the first time_

_I'm so movin' on, yeah yeah_

_Thanks to you (thanks to you)_

_Now I get (I get)_

_You should know (you should know) that I get_

_I get what I want  
_

Rachel even flashed a wink to Noah, surprising herself with her good mood and brazenness. She finished the song with a little attitude and a little smile.

_Since you been gone  
_

Holly Holiday started clapping for their performance, giving a bow and gesturing for Rachel to do the same. Rachel smiled and curtsied.

"That was hot," Puck blurted. Rachel blushed and smiled, giving a demure "Thank you, Noah," as she took her seat. "I must say singing that song felt very liberating," she said to no one in particular.

Puck regretted his public outburst until he saw the dirty look directed at him from Finn. He relished that. And the glare Santana gave Finn was an extra bonus.

"So you carry that music around with you every day, Berry?" Santana snarked.

"Only since yesterday," Rachel replied simply.

Santana shut her mouth and didn't have another bitchy comment for the rest of glee practice.

…

Puck rushed out after glee without explanation, and he was relieved when he spotted Rachel gathering her things at her locker when he got back to school. "Glad you're still here. I just ran to 7-11 and got this for you." He held out the grape slushie. "Grape's still your favorite, right?"

Rachel beamed and nodded, taking a sip. "Thank you, Noah. To what do I owe this conciliatory slushie?"

"Uh, if you mean why did I get it for you…" she nodded, "then it's to apologize for being a dick yesterday. I kinda figured out…well, was that song you sang the one you were practicing yesterday? The one you said was for Finn?"

"Yes…" Rachel's eyes widened as she realized what he must have thought and why he acted so rude to her yesterday after she mentioned the song. "Did you think I was singing a _love_ song for Finn? Instead of an _I'm over you_ song?"

Puck shrugged off her question. "Not that I care or anything. Sometimes thinking about Finn just gets under my skin. So…I'm sorry."

"Apology accepted!" she bubbled. The thought that Noah might actually have _feelings_ for her couldn't be suppressed, even though she thought there was also truth to his statement about being upset at the mention of Finn. Suddenly, she wanted more than what she'd originally planned. She knew that they could be a wonderful couple together if they really worked on it! Excited thoughts raced through her head. There was always something about Noah Puckerman. Puckleberry. But she was getting ahead of herself. She forgot one important issue.

"Aren't you worried what Quinn will think if she sees us together like this?"

"Nah, we're just talking. Don't be so uptight, B. Besides, I haven't put my full plan into effect. Once I start for real though, I'll probably have to stay away from you; kinda like the way you had to avoid me when you had that deal with Finn."

"That shouldn't be a problem considering that once we settle upon the details, the deal you and I have is for a one-time thing. Right?" A disturbingly large part of Rachel's heart hoped he said no—'no, Rachel, this won't be a one-time thing. I'll forget about Quinn and date you for real.' She didn't _quite_ get her wish—not that she thought he would really say anything like that.

Instead Puck grinned wolfishly and licked his lips.

Rachel felt a shiver when he said, "Actually, I have a few conditions of my own."

…

**A.N.** You can listen to Kelly Clarkson's _Since U Been Gone_ by adding this to youtube or go to my author profile for the full link:

user/novice242?feature=mhsn#p/a/f/0/R7UrFYvl5TE

Does anyone else think it would be awesome to hear Rachel singing this in the show? How great would it be to have some independent!Rachel followed by Puckleberry for the win? : )


	3. Terms and Conditions

**Ch. 3. Terms and Conditions**

**A.N. **Thanks again to everyone who's still reading and who started reading this story! I'm renewed in my energy because this story has more alerts than _Summer in the City_, the final story in my first and most popular series of stories (_Junior Year_).

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Glee or anything familiar; I make no profit from this form of entertainment.

…

"You have conditions for me?" Rachel asked him, a mix of surprise and amusement reflected in her question.

Puck grinned down at her, stepping so close to her that they were nearly touching. "That's right." He leaned closer, closer, whispering in her ear. "But I have to head to football practice," he stepped away with a shrug, teasing her.

Rachel was blushing from his closeness and her anticipation of what she thought would happen next. She was jolted back to reality when Puck transformed from her fantasy back into his rude self.

He smirked at the sight of her flushed cheeks, pleased to see how much he had affected her. "I'll probably be late and get my ass handed to me by Coach Bieste," he said with a casual, good-natured tone. Then he switched back to his smooth sex shark voice. "So let's meet up tonight, get this party started."

"You mean to discuss our conditions and come to a mutually satisfactory arrangement," Rachel corrected, trying to recover from the momentary disruption of her carefully-crafted persona.

"Yeah, B, whatever. Your place or mine?"

"Yours," she answered quickly. "My fathers will…ask too many questions."

"Done. Be there at 7."

He trotted off to the locker room, leaving Rachel shaking her head before she headed to her car. She wasn't sure that she should be looking forward to this as much as she was, but she couldn't dull the tingling she'd been feeling ever since he'd whispered in her ear.

…

"How ridiculous was that stunt Berry pulled today?" Santana complained to Quinn and Brittany, who were getting ready for Cheerios practice next to her.

Brittany frowned, trying to remember if Rachel Berry did some kind of tumbling routine or jumped through a flaming hula-hoop during class. She couldn't think of anything like that. "The song?" Brittany asked.

"Yes, of course the song," Santana snapped.

Brittany looked sideways at Quinn, who spoke up to say, "I thought the song was kinda fun, but I can see why you'd be upset, Santana. Now that you're…_dating_ Finn. You _are _dating Finn now, right?"

"Hmm-mm, that's right, Q, _I'm_ dating Finn. Like _actually dating_, not just screwing. Hope you can deal with it." Santana's sour look was directed to Quinn and then Brittany.

Brittany frowned.

Quinn suppressed her eye-roll. "As I said, I understand why you're feeling upset and defensive after Rachel's song."

"Oh you do, do you? I can't wait to hear your psycho-analysis," she smirked.

"Ok, fine. I think you're upset because Finn seemed to be affected by Rachel singing to him. If he hadn't seemed upset, you probably would still make fun of her and find her annoying, but you wouldn't be so personally wounded."

"Wounded? Me? Please, girl."

Quinn was on a roll. "Besides, now that I think about it, I don't think anyone in glee has ever singled you out for a serenade when it wasn't an assignment. I think you're a bit jealous of Rachel because you're surprised and annoyed that she gets so much attention from the guys when she should obviously have stayed quarantined in the Loser Pile. She's had a song or a dance with just about every guy in glee club. Except for Sam." Quinn finished with a smug smile, thinking of her man.

"So you're telling me you don't feel jealous at all when you see me with Finn?"

"No," Quinn answered quickly, realizing moments later that she'd lied.

"Sure, sweetheart," Santana placated. "Here's what I think: I think Rachel and Finn were no competition for Ken and Barbie. That's Sam and Quinn," she explained to Brittany before continuing her speech to Quinn. "But _me_ with Finn, we're totally your competition for Homecoming king and queen. A little diversity up in here. It's your worst nightmare, Barbie," Santana gave an evil grin in Quinn's face. "Not to mention the fact that you probably always figured Rachel and Finn had a short shelf-life, which they did; and that he'd come crawling back to you, but he didn't." This time Santana looked smug. "How's that for psycho-babble?"

"Very clever," Quinn said sarcastically. "But you don't know what you're talking about when it comes to _relationships_, as usual."

Santana stopped herself from flipping Quinn her middle finger calling her a bitch. Instead she tried to unite Quinn in her anti-Rachel session. "And you don't get sick of that teacher's pet Rachel Berry getting all the attention?"

Quinn shrugged. "I never said I liked Rachel. But you have to admit that she's not the teacher's pet. Mr. Schue yells at her more than anyone else. Except maybe Puck. No, Rachel definitely gets the worst of it. She seems to get under Schue's skin."

"Ew," said Brittany.

"Ew's right," Santana agreed, linking arms in a show of solidarity.

"Anyway," Quinn rolled her eyes. "Even though I've always found Rachel Berry to be the most annoying girl on the planet, I don't have a problem with her singing a song today to Finn before class. You should be happy, Santana. It sounds like Rachel will seriously be moving on from the whole thing with Finn…with you and Finn."

"Yeah, I'm over the moon," Santana deadpanned.

They were interrupted by Coach Sylvester yelling at them to stop yapping and start stretching their gluts instead of their gabbing mouths.

…

While she went through the grueling Cheerios routine, Santana started thinking. Now that she actually had Finn Hudson, what did she want to do with him? When she started realizing that she might truly like his stupid ass and the way he seemed to really put his heart into things, she decided to change mental topics.

Her angle with Finn was definitely about some competition with Quinn, ruining Rachel Berry's life, and making everyone else jealous. She most definitely was _not_ dating Finn to feel some kind of love and acceptance just because he seemed so…accepting…like the way he seemed to be with that tranny Rachel or the way he fawned all over Quinn when he thought the baby was his instead of Puck's. Oh Puck, that horny asshole, she thought fondly, losing track of her thoughts momentarily.

But if she wasn't looking for acceptance or some shit, why did it piss her off to no end that Carol Hudson-Hummel clearly liked Rachel better than Santana? She knew she had one over on Quinn when it came to Carol by virtue of the fact that she didn't get pregnant and rope her son into thinking the baby was his. But fucking Carol seemed smitten with Rachel fucking Berry even still.

Granted, Santana hadn't been in the picture that long (officially) and yeah, some of Santana's memories took place when Finn was still trying to win Rachel back…but the way Carol had asked Finn and then Kurt about Rachel right in front of Santana…well, it stung—like heartburn. On one hand, Santana didn't want to stoop so low as to care what some dude's mom thought of her. On the other hand, she was fiercely competitive and thought it would be a fun challenge to win over Finn's mom.

Challenge accepted.

After Cheerios practice, Santana met up with her sweaty (and adorable) boyfriend who was heading to the boys' locker room.

"So, Hudson, what can I do to make your mom like me?" she asked. Subtlety wasn't the best way to get an answer out of Finn.

"Huh?" he asked first before he caught up with the question. It kinda weirded him out to be called _Hudson_ by his _girlfriend_. "Why?" he asked next instead of answering.

"Because I want her to like me better than she liked Rachel Berry," she said the name with disgust.

"Oh," Finn replied, scratching his head. "I don't really know. I guess, just be nice and stuff. Rachel was always really nice around my mom, even though you might not think that because she's not always nice in glee. Um… and Rachel would come over and wait for me to get home from practice, and while she waited, she and my mom and sometimes Kurt would bake cookies together. She makes good cookies." Finn wished Rachel would make him some 'I'm sorry cookies' again.

"Uh, no," Santana groaned. "No, this is not gonna work for me," she waved her finger in his face. "You're thinking about her cookies right now, aren't you?"

Finn nodded sheepishly, a light flush coloring his cheeks.

Why did that idiot have to look so damn cute? Santana shook her head before giving him a sly smile. "Let's see if I can find something to distract you from thinking about cookies."

Finn nodded rapidly and smiled, picking up on her innuendo. "Yeah, let's get outta here."

…

Rachel spent an inordinate amount of time deciding what to wear to go to the Puckerman house to finalize the details of her arrangement with Noah. She ate dinner with her dads and explained that she had a study group at seven. She decided she would walk to Noah's so that nobody would notice her car parked outside of his house—she was proud of herself for thinking about that detail. He only lived a few blocks away, and she imagined Deb Puckerman would insist that her son drive Rachel home if she was there after dark. It was a just starting to cool off in the evenings now that it was late in the summer, and Rachel didn't want to be too chilly during the walk over. She wanted to seem nonchalant with her appearance, but at the same time, she really was concerned and wanted to look at least a little…sexy. She settled on a yoga outfit, perfectly comfortable and acceptable for studying, but she knew the way the pants hugged her curves and the way the loose sweatshirt slipped off of her shoulder would attract the type of attention she was hoping to receive. She cursed herself for being so concerned, but that didn't stop her from applying a little mascara, lip gloss, and fixing her hair. Rachel grabbed her laptop, with the Terms and Conditions open and ready on the desktop, and headed out the door.

She was early.

Not too early, but she didn't see Noah's truck. She wondered what to do, and she decided that pacing in front of his house was more conspicuous than just going inside—so she rang the doorbell.

His 13-year-old sister opened the door. She was already at least an inch taller than Rachel.

"Hi Sarah," Rachel greeted. "May I come in?"

"Rachel Berry?"

Rachel nodded. "Yes. I'm supposed to meet your brother here after his football practice. We have some work to do," she said, holding up her laptop bag for emphasis. And she wasn't really lying. They did have some work to do.

"Work? Yeah, I bet," Sarah muttered. "Come on in," she said with a knowing grin.

"No, really," Rachel tried to convince Sarah. "There is nothing untoward about my visit with Noah."

Sarah raised her eyebrow. "I don't know about _untoward_ since that doesn't even sound like a real word, but if you wear that outfit around my brother, I can't imagine you'll get much studying done." With that, Sarah shrugged and sat down on the couch, turning her attention to something on tv.

Rachel blushed deeply—even more deeply than when she'd been talking to Noah. She didn't think her outfit was that…obvious…but was it? As if reading her thoughts, Sarah piped up.

"Don't worry, he won't do anything if you don't want him to—he's pretty harmless in that way. But even if his brain doesn't realize it, part of him is going to think you want him to."

"Sarah!" Rachel exclaimed, appalled at her bluntness…and accuracy. "Is your mom here?" she asked hesitantly.

"Nah, she's working a double shift tonight," Sarah said, without moving her eyes from the screen. "You can sit if you want you know."

"Thank you," Rachel said as she took a seat at the other end of the couch. She hoped she didn't have to wait too long—but she wanted to wait long enough for her skin to return to its normal shade instead of the bright red she was sure it held now.

When whatever teen show Sarah was watching went to commercial, she turned to Rachel with a gleam in her eye and asked, "So, do you want him to?"

"What?" Rachel was completely caught off-guard. "No. No, of course not. This is just what I wear when I want to be comfortable—like when I'm studying or practicing yoga. I did not realize my choice of attire would…send the wrong signal."

Sarah smirked. "Oh Rachel, I thought you were a smart girl," she said patronizingly.

Rachel found it unnerving to be spoken to so brazenly by a girl so young. But she couldn't admit now that she _did _think that Noah would appreciate her outfit. She didn't think she needed to admit it though; it seemed that Sarah already knew.

She did.

Before Rachel could think of a witty retort, the commercial break ended and Sarah was engrossed again in her show. Rachel breathed a sigh of relief.

…

Puck walked into his living room to see his sister sitting on the couch with Rachel watching some stupid show. "Oh, Berry, you're here. I didn't see your car."

"I walked," Rachel said simply, training her eyes on the tv, lest she give anything away to the incredibly perceptive little girl sitting next to her.

"Oh. Good. Ready to get started?"

"Yes, I have my laptop right here. Shall we move to the kitchen so we don't disturb Sarah while she's watching her program?"

"I was thinking we'd go to my room," he grinned.

Rachel shifted her eyes in a not-so-subtle glance between the younger and older Puckerman. "I'm not sure that would be appropriate…"

"Don't worry about it, B. You're cool if we go upstairs, right Sarah?"

"Yeah, I don't care. Just don't get too loud and gross."

"Sarah!" Rachel exclaimed (again). "I assure you that won't be a problem!"

"Uh-huh," Sarah said, unconvinced but unconcerned.

"See? Let's go." Puck grabbed Rachel's hand and led her up to his room. He closed the door behind them.

"Is that really necessary?" she asked as she set her laptop bag on his desk.

"Uh, yeah. I don't think you want innocent little Sarah to hear the details of our agreement, do you?"

"No, I suppose I don't," she agreed. "Well, let's get started." She pulled out her laptop and opened it up, displaying her document entitled Terms and Conditions.

"What are you wearing, Berry?" Puck couldn't help asking. She looked…hot. "You look hot."

"Oh, well, thank you," Rachel said, now self-conscious about the attire she'd selected. "It's just…for yoga."

"Why don't you ever dress like that at school?" he wondered out loud.

"I just told you why: because it's an outfit for practicing yoga," she retorted with a defensive tone that she hated. She tried to speak more calmly. "My fathers prefer that I dress more appropriately at school. But they also appreciate healthy habits, so they're highly encouraging of my yoga, dance, and gymnastics classes.

"Fuck, this deal just got even better. I totally forgot you did all that flexible shit." His eyes scanned her body openly.

"I suppose that will come in handy for other things eventually," Rachel said with innocent frankness. "But I'm not sure how that applies to our current arrangement. I don't think I'll be ready to do anything…involving gymnastics…on my first time."

"Yeah, you don't see how it applies because you don't know about my terms," Puck smirked.

Rachel frowned for a moment, puzzled. But she thought the direction he was going sounded promising. "Perhaps we should start with your terms then."

"Thought you'd never ask," he grinned, totally ready to lay out his plan. "See, I have a few regular girls I kick it with, the top one being Santana. We both know Santana can't be trusted, and I can't trust any other girl not to go bragging about her ride on my fun-stick."

Rachel rolled her eyes, but she was pleased with where she thought this was going—if she translated all of Puck's vulgar terms into words she'd rather hear and blocked out the name Santana—which still evoked stabbing pains in her stomach.

Puck continued. "And I can't be expected to go on a _real_ dry spell while I'm proving myself to Quinn. So it will be just you and me, secretly. Whenever I want. Until I get Quinn."

"Whenever you want?" she balked. "And why would I agree to this arrangement? What's in it for me?"

"Well, if having me all to yourself isn't enough of a reason, I'll give you another. Just having sex once isn't gonna be so great. And I told you that I'm the best. So we'll get you all ready for sex by getting you off in all kinds of other ways first. I'll break you in so good, baby."

"I don't need to be _broken in_," she huffed. "Finn and I…fooled around."

"Whatever, Finn has no game."

Rachel thought he might have learned tricks from Santana, looking back on it now, so that's what she said.

"No way. Even if he learned a few things—because Santana knows her shit—there's no way Finn's a match for the Puckerone. I know that for a fact."

"How could you possibly know that?" Rachel said, feeling defensive again and still unsure if she should agree to his terms.

"Uh, it's called the boys' locker room."

Rachel shook her head, indicating she had no idea what he was talking about.

"I've seen his dick, ok? I've got it all over him in length _and_ girth."

"Girth? Ew." Rachel shivered. She was getting nervous. The male anatomy was kind of…gross…and intimidating.

"Believe me, you won't be saying 'ew', but you might be saying 'ow' at first, and I don't think either of us want that."

He almost seemed concerned for her, but the heart-softening effects his words had at first were negated by his next sentence.

"I mean, I'll like it if you say 'ow', cause that means you'll be a tight fit, which will feel awesome for me. But you probably wouldn't orgasm if it hurts too much and you don't have practice, and tight _plus_ orgasm would be waaay better for me. So that's what we'll aim for. And the way to do that is for us to go through the Puckerman Plan for easing virgins into it. I'll turn that 'ow' into an 'oh, oh, give it to me, Puck!"

Rachel promptly rose from her place at his chair, leaned toward him on the bed, and threw his pillow at him.

"What?" he asked.

"I think I'm coming up with new terms to add to my list—regarding your vulgar language!" she said primly, actually typing additions into the document open on her laptop.

"Whatever, you know you want this. I think we're more alike than you want to admit." He leaned back on his bed and crossed his arms.

"But…you're a delinquent!"

"Ok, so maybe we're opposites at some things since you're a goody-goody. But there's a little delinquent in you too, Rachel Berry."

"What? I am no such thing!"

"Hey, you're the little deviant who came to me to sex you up with no strings attached," he reasoned.

"I have personal and well-considered reasons for this proposal, Noah Puckerman! And according to the definition of delinquent…" she was interrupted by his hand in her face, holding up two fingers.

"Two words: crack house," he smirked.

Rachel's face crumpled. "Sunshine," she whispered.

"Yep. Sending the foreign competition to a crack house is pretty low. Surprised they didn't cart you off to juvie for that one."

"You're right! I'm a terrible person!" she wailed.

Puck was having a blast teasing Rachel until he realized what was happening right before his eyes: the waterworks. "Oh fuck no. There's no crying. I'm gonna have to add that as one of my rules."

"How can I guarantee that you won't upset me enough to make me cry?" Rachel asked through her sobs.

"Can't. But what you can do is anytime you start crying, you march your watery ass out of whatever room I'm in."

"What if I cry…during…you know? What if it hurts too much?" she asked, sniffling and hiccupping.

Puck looked at the mess of a girl in front of him. He wasn't sure he even wanted to think about stuffing her good at the moment. No, he did. He just pictured Rachel wearing those tight black pants with his football jersey in place of that pink sweatshirt thing and he was right back on track.

"That's why we're going to break you in, get you ready, before you take on the big dog."

"Gross," she sighed as she calmed down.

"You'll thank me later, trust me. In fact, I think this could be the deal of a lifetime for you, Rachel Berry," he boasted.

Unfortunately, she thought she might agree with him. But she couldn't tell him that. Instead, she rolled her eyes.

"While I'm not confirming my agreement to your terms, do you have any other terms before we discuss mine?"

"Yeah, I do. What? You think I'd only have two terms? This is my _domain_. I'm all over this."

Rachel made a show of getting comfortable on the bed while she awaited his detailed list of demands. She sat next to him, laptop in her lap, fingers poised above the keyboard to type up the rest of his terms.

"Ok," Puck began. "Since you're taking all this down, after _Whenever I Want_ and _No Crying_ is: _No Giving Away Our Secret_. Next is: _No Making Me Tell You I Love You Before We Do It_. And I don't want to hear you say that either."

"As if I would!" she protested.

"Just wait," he said smugly. "I'm just warning you now that it will be against the rules."

"Fine. No problem. Anything else?" she asked with sarcastic attentiveness.

"Yeah, there's more. It's along those same lines, but we're trying to be thorough here, right?"

"Yes."

"I'm known for being thorough," he said suggestively, letting his lips graze her ear.

"Then please finish with your _thorough_ description of what you propose that we can and can't do," Rachel replied testily, trying to put a bit more space between them.

"This one's more about _you_ not _we_. And I'm serious here. You can't forget that Quinn is my end-game. So don't get all jealous or pissed off that I'm gonna start going after her. I'm gonna be charming the hell outta her soon. But until she takes the bait, you and me can keep up our little game."

"This sounds like a terrible idea. I'm not sure I understand how we got to this point. I just asked if you would do one thing for me, one time. Now we're somehow talking about a secret…_affair_? All so that you can appear to be something you're not in front of Quinn?"

"Ok, calm down. It started out as a favor from me to you, but now it's a favor for both of us. You get the Puckerman Experience for all of your secret reasons—and I bet they're pretty good ones," he leered at her. "So that's _your_ favor. As for me, we keep it on the DL and I still get pussy while Quinn thinks I'm an angel like that dickless Sam. It's win-win."

"Right…" Rachel said, disgusted. She wasn't sure she could go through with this new form of the agreement, as much as the thought of having a secret relationship with…experiences…appealed to some part of her. She tried logic to get this back to something more reasonable. "But you said that secrets get out, remember? Why would you risk it?"

"Yeah, secrets do get out, so we'll have to be extra careful. Like no cars parked outside the other's house, we never leave school together, shit like that. This plan is better than anything else I could come up with on my own, so thank you, Rachel Berry, for sparking the idea. There's no way I could trust some random skank to keep her mouth shut—it's natural to want to brag about scoring with the Puckzilla."

"Of course it is," Rachel rolled her eyes even though she thought he was probably right again. "I may rue the day I ever planted this sinister seed in your mind."

"What? No way. Put this in your calendar or something, B. This day is gonna go down as the start of your best idea ever. Ev-ah."

"Before I mark my calendar, we need to agree on the terms. That means I tell you my terms as well, we discuss them, come up with any compromises, and finalize our contract." She couldn't quite believe she was saying this. She hoped he'd find her terms disagreeable and the whole thing might dissolve. And part of her hoped the opposite. "Shall I continue?"

"Yeah, sure, go," he waved his hand in a dismissive gesture.

"This!" she pointed at him. "This is on my list. You have to be respectful toward me—in school and out."

"In school? But that's in like…conflict or something with the secret one!" he whined.

"No, it's not in conflict at all. I'm not asking you to act affectionate toward me in any way at school."

"Affectionate? No, not happening."

"I'm not asking for that. Listen, I'm just asking you to stop being rude to me. Treat me with respect or we don't have a deal."

"I'll think about that one. What else you got?"

"When we are engaging in…sexual activities," she whispered, "I need to feel…desirable…like I'm the focus of your attention. I don't want to do this and think that you're thinking about something else. To ensure that, you'll have to say my name: _Rachel_, not Berry, B, Baby, nothing like that. I will need you to say my first name at least once each time we're…involved that way."

"Kinda kinky. I like that one," he smirked. "Actually, I think that one's gonna backfire on you, baby. Because once we get going, if I call you _Rachel _in school, you're gonna get wet right there, but you won't be able to do anything about it because of the secret rule." His eyes drank in her body—it made her skin crawl in a way that was part good, part bad. He smirked when she shivered. "Oh, yeah, this is a keeper. You'll be all hot and bothered, thinking about me. That rule is going on the books—c'mon, get typing."

Rachel gaped at him. Then she snapped her mouth shut. "My terms are already included in this list."

"Oh yeah. Ok, go on."

"Actually, I have a new one," she began typing furiously and once she got going, she began explaining what she was including. "Considering your term for…a more lengthy contract exceeding the one time deal originally conceived, we each have the right to terminate early for any reason. Early for you meaning before your endpoint of getting Quinn to date you. Early for me meaning…before we complete your Phases."

"Hmm, ok, that's a pretty good one, but I think I need to change something." She nodded for him to go on. "The Quinn part probably has to be more than dating—because that's a girl who can date for a long time without giving up the goods. So the endpoint thing is getting Q to agree to have sex."

"This is getting even more despicable. I can't believe I'm a part of this," Rachel lamented.

"Whatever, B. You're still here aren't you? I can tell you're curious—you want this too."

Rachel refused to dignify his comment with a response.

Puck stared at her for a few moments, but she didn't budge. He thought of something else. "And hey, add that this early termination thing doesn't allow us to give up the secret. You can't get pissed off, break our agreement, and go tell Quinn any of this, got it?"

"Fine. I'll add that early termination does not negate the secrecy clause."

"Does that mean what I just said?"

"Yes."

"Ok, good. It seems like we pretty much agree on everything. So is that it?"

"No. I have to make modifications to your _Whenever You Want_ term. That has to be mutual. In addition, another one of my terms is that we get tested before we engage in any…anything."

"Already done. 100% clean."

"Oh, well that's good. But I should probably get tested too."

"Why bother? You've never done it, and you only fooled around with Finn."

"But Finn was cheating on me with Santana," she pointed out.

"Oh yeah. Sorry, scratch that. Tell them to test you for everything. You never know."

"Really? Do you think I could have a venereal disease?" she squeaked, leaping up from his bed as if she could catch something from his sheets.

"Nah, probably not. Santana's smart about that shit, but still, better safe than sorry. Nobody's as safe about head as they should be."

"Head? Oh, nevermind. I think I need to sit down." Rachel said in a shaky voice. She sat on his bed, wondering about the dangerous world she was getting into. Apparently she said something like that out loud.

"You're already in, B. You should get tested whether or not you go through with this little thing we're gettin' started. You know, for your safety. I'd hate to think Finn put you at risk, but the reality is he probably didn't know better. And Santana wouldn't give a shit about you."

"Thank you for your honesty and concern, Noah. I really appreciate it. I'll make an appointment as soon as possible."

Puck put his arm around her to help calm her down. Girl was seriously freaking the fuck out over nothing. "Anything you may have, and I'm not saying you'll have anything, would be cleared up with some antibiotics, no problem. And we don't have to wait for your test results to get going with phase 1 of the Puckerman Plan." He jostled her shoulders playfully.

"What a relief. No waiting for the Puckerman Plan to Proceed," she deadpanned, but she smiled at him. "Thanks, Noah," she said softly.

"Don't mention it. Really, don't."

"As per our agreement, it will be our secret," she grinned at him.

"Deal." He took her hand and shook it twice.

"Let's review our terms."

Within a few minutes, Rachel had typed all of their agreed-upon conditions into a contract. They were actually going to do this.

Puck was totally stoked and kind of amazed.

Rachel was astonished too.

"Well, I guess this is official. We have our contract. I don't think we need to get this notarized," she joked.

Puck didn't get it. "Right…"

"Now that this is settled, when do you want to start…the first session? This weekend?" Rachel asked, biting her lip in her nervous habit.

"Anxious, aren't ya? Don't blame you, but can't this weekend. Plans."

"Oh, of course. This is rather last minute. I shouldn't expect that you'd be ready to make the transition to meet our agreement so quickly." A little hurt, though angry at herself for caring so much, Rachel stood, snapped her laptop closed, and shoved it into her bag. "I should be going."

Puck stood up and caught her by the wrist. "Hold up. Don't be mad. It's a family thing, Rachel, I swear."

Something in his eyes made her believe him, or maybe it was the way he said her name without a hint of suggestiveness. He seemed sincere. "I'm not mad," she smiled.

She wasn't.

Not anymore.

"Ok, cool," he nodded. "So the weekend after next?"

She nodded back. She noticed he still hadn't let go of her wrist. She looked down at his hand, almost transfixed by the sight.

"How about we seal this deal right?" he asked, tilting her chin up with his free hand so she was looking into his eyes.

Rachel bobbed her head slowly; her heart was pounding as if this would be her kiss. It wasn't even _their_ first kiss—she already knew how proficient he was at that art. But she was hoping she was correct in her assumption that he was going to kiss her.

She was.

He cupped her face as he leaned in so his lips met hers. He was so soft and gentle, as if he knew she needed a delicate touch right now. But at the same time he was still holding her, guiding her. The hand that had been on her wrist traveled up her arm and down her back, catching her at the waist. The hand that had been holding her cheek traveled to the back of her neck, his fingers entwining in her hair. She couldn't escape if she'd wanted to—not that she wanted to…at all.

It was at that moment that Rachel decided the Puckermans may be a little psychic.

And she decided that she had made the right choice. Noah Puckerman would be exactly what she needed. That's what her hint of psychic power was telling her, and she was usually right.

…

**A.N. **I may have to bump up the rating to M for chapter 4 (unless I get requests asking me to leave out Mature scenes). If there are no objections, the story will go up to M (because of occasional chapters—not every chapter), and I hope those who don't have this on alert will still be able to find it next time… Let me know what you think about the rating and content by answering the poll in my profile. Thanks!

I should be able to post the next chapter the day after Christmas.

**Disclaimer:** Santana accepting her own challenge was probably inspired by _How I Met Your Mother_.


	4. Prelude

**Ch. 4. Prelude**

**A.N.** An early update is here because I won't be able to post over the weekend. Thanks to all of you who voted on the story rating! It's unanimous! First stop, Mature Scenes! And there will be more of course, but not every chapter will be too smutty.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Glee or anything familiar.

…

Puck had no idea what possessed him to kiss Berry like that, but once he got going, he couldn't take it back. And she was definitely into it.

Sweet.

Well, he knew the right way to get her feeling horny, that's for sure. That would be important information for Phase One of the Puckerman Plan for easing virgin Berry into becoming his secret sex slave.

_Ok_, he knew she wouldn't be his _slave_; it was just kind of a hot way to think of it. But if he didn't stop thinking of it like that, he was going to have a serious problem on his hands. He was already getting hard.

When he broke free from her lips, her eyes were all unfocused and her knees seemed wobbly.

"Look at what you've done to me," he told her in a gruff whisper.

"What? Oh!" she blushed at the sight of the bulge in his gym shorts. "Wow." She couldn't help but stare.

Puck was fairly pleased by that reaction—and this wasn't even full wood. "Do you have to go? Maybe you want to stay for a while and have something to hold us over until next weekend? I'll be out of town and lonely this weekend," he cajoled.

Rachel bit her lip as she considered her options. It was getting late and she'd prefer not to walk home. The boy standing in front of her seemed to be in no state to drive her home at the moment, and his mother wouldn't be home for awhile. His younger sister did not seem to be interested in checking on them, so they probably wouldn't be interrupted if she stayed….

"I could stay for a little bit longer," she said slowly.

Puck chuckled. "Sweet." He sat down on his bed and motioned for her to join him quietly. "We'll avoid being too loud so the runt downstairs doesn't suspect more than she already does."

Rachel nodded and sat next to him cautiously, uncertain what to do next.

"Don't be scared," he smiled at her. "We'll just make out—nothing major yet. We both know you like making out with me."

She felt more at ease and nodded with a smile in return.

"But this time, I'm totally touching your boobs," he announced.

"That's not in the rules," she replied, shaking her head.

Puck's eyes widened in surprise and then narrowed angrily. "You've got to be kidding!"

She giggled. "Maybe…"

Puck stiffened even more at the sound of her laugh and that sexy look on her face. "Shit, Berry, you're good."

"That's yet to be determined."

He grinned at her answer. He couldn't tell if she was serious or still joking around. But he liked her like this, whatever this attitude was. "Get over here," he said as he pulled her toward him, positioning her to straddle his hips.

"Oh," she let out a gasp of surprise as he pressed her core against his erection. The flimsy gym shorts he was wearing and the thin cotton yoga pants she was wearing did little to blunt the sensations. Rachel had experienced the feeling of a boy pressing against her this way—but when it had been Noah, he'd been wearing jeans and their…parts were not so…well-aligned. And when it had been Finn, he was so tall and she was so short that in order to kiss him she did not feel the full…extent…of the effect.

"Don't forget to stay a little quiet," he whispered in her ear. Then he started kissing her neck, applying just enough pressure.

Rachel sighed, and then she bit her lip to remind herself not to make noises.

"I can't wait to get you alone. I want to hear everything," he whispered.

She just nodded. She wanted to do something too—to kiss him back or touch him or something, but her mind was blanking on what to do. But as he kissed her, she tilted her head to give him better access to her neck, and in the process she adjusted her hips. The soft groan that emitted from his lips as she rubbed over the warm hardness beneath her told her what she could do. She gently rocked her hips against him, getting into a slow rhythm.

Everything came naturally from there. She tilted his head and found his lips so she could kiss him back. Then she wrapped her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck. His hands traveled up from her waist, grazing the sides of her breasts. He was almost tentative; as if afraid she'd change her mind if he went any farther. She kissed him deeply, showing him what he needed to know.

Puck knew how to take a signal, and he went for it. He cupped her boobs, gently swiping his thumbs along the undersides, before he quickly reached under her shirt to unclasp her bra.

She gasped and pulled away from him a bit. She wasn't expecting that—she thought an over-the-shirt-over-the-bra fondling was going pretty far.

Puck had other ideas. As he reached for her bare breasts under her shirt, he whispered. "It's ok, baby, you'll like it. I promise."

He was right of course. She did.

But just as she started to let herself enjoy the sensation of being caressed by his slightly rough hands, she thought about all of the girls he'd had his hands on. Especially Brittany and Santana—both of whom had larger cup sizes than Rachel. She was suddenly self-conscious of such close inspection.

Before she knew about Finn losing his virginity to Santana, she had felt freer about her body because she thought they'd be experiencing everything together. But after she found out that Finn had been with Santana, it took a long time to get over her fear that he would be comparing her to the much more attractive Santana. Going into this, she knew that Noah Puckerman had…a substantial amount of experience. But every time she'd been with him in the past, he made her feel sexy…wanted. And he still did now—it wasn't his fault that she had a flashback of how she'd felt with Finn. But still, she knew it was too much, too soon for her.

Rachel lightly pushed on his shoulders, and he took the hint. He leaned back to lie down on his bed, taking her along for the ride with his arms around her waist.

"You're so hot, Rachel," he said in a low, gruff voice; eyes staring straight into hers.

She wasn't sure how he knew that she needed that—to hear him say her name and make her feel like she was the one he wanted to be with in this moment. She didn't want him to be thinking of how she compared to Santana or Quinn or any other girl. She wanted him to be thinking about her, and he seemed to be doing just that. She leaned into him so she was pressed against his chest. "Mmm, Noah," she breathed into his ear. "You're amazing."

They were both still fully dressed—although her bra was hanging unclasped beneath her sweatshirt. But as she stretched out on top of him, she decided that this was one of the most erotic experiences Rachel had ever had. She could feel his muscles beneath her, and she let her hands travel from his arms, down his chest, and to those amazing abs. He really did feel amazing, and the things he was making her feel were amazing. They were both shuddering with the pleasure of the friction from their bodies.

Suddenly they heard footsteps pounding up the stairs. Rachel immediately rolled off of Puck into an upright position, clasped her bra, combed through her hair, and grabbed her laptop.

They heard a door close across the hall.

Puck let out a chuckle. "Just Sarah going to the bathroom. She's probably brushing her teeth and getting ready for bed."

Rachel let out a relieved sigh. "Oh, good. But still, it's probably best we cool off. That was…startling."

"Yeah, you totally went into ninja-stealth mode—from sexed up to studying! That was pretty awesome," he laughed.

"Well, I _am_ talented," she said with mock smugness, followed by a slow smile. But after she looked at him, she looked down and blushed. "This is terribly embarrassing."

"Why?"

She glanced at his shorts and her pants. They were both wet with a mix of sweat and fluids, and Puck's bulge was still making a large tent out of the shiny red nylon.

"Well, it wouldn't have been so bad if we wouldn't have had the clothes in our way," he shrugged. "This just means you'll be all slick and ready when we actually get going—when we can be alone."

"So you don't think this is…unappealing?"

"Do I look like I think it's unappealing?" he asked with a gleam in his eye, gesturing downward. "My cock thinks you're appealing as fuck."

"Shh! Noah!"

He smirked at her—she had gone from sex-crazed to uptight in under 60 seconds. "I mean, I'm not trying to advertise anything to my little sister, but she's probably figured it out by now. You got pretty bouncy and my bed doesn't have the quietest springs," he pointed out.

Rachel clapped her hand over her mouth. "Oh! I'm so sorry!"

"I wasn't complaining," he gave her a crooked smile. "But I can take you home if you want."

"But what about you?" she asked, looking down at his obvious affliction. "Is there something we can do?"

"Yeah there's something we can do! If you want to, that is."

"Sex?" she squeaked.

"Nah, not yet. We'll get there later. But you can help me, you know, jerk it out."

"What?" she asked nervously.

"You don't have to, like I said. I can go to the bathroom and take care of it myself, and we'll be good to go. I'll take you home right after. But if you want, we can do it here, together."

"O-okay."

"Ok, what?"

"Together. I want you to show me what to do. I want to…make you come."

Puck almost came in his shorts right there. "We've been going at it for a while, so once we get going, this won't take long," he told her.

She nodded, still nervous, but feeling more relaxed at the idea that this would be a short lesson. Relaxed that is, until he slipped off his shorts and she saw…it. It was big and vein-y and darker than she would have thought it should be, but she supposed that was because it was full of blood…engorged. She gulped.

He saw her eyes widen with what must have been fear. It had been awhile since he'd seen anything but admiration at the sight of his dick. "It's ok, Rachel, remember? Just climb in bed with me, ok? You don't have to look; I'll talk you through it."

He coaxed her through everything: some lotion on her hand and his so he could guide her to make gliding strokes with a little twisting motion. The skin was so soft but his shaft was so hard—she found that it was an oddly pleasurable sensation. He started kissing her again once she got the hang of it and didn't need him to tell her what to do. As she pumped him with her hand, Rachel found herself very turned on. It wasn't long before she felt his thighs twitch beneath her, then there was a strange pulsing within her grip, and she realized what was happening just as she felt the hot fluid in her hands. He was starting to soften and she knew it was over.

"That was…amazing," she sighed.

"Really?" he asked. "I thought I was supposed to say that," he smirked. "I figured you'd think it was gross."

"It is a little. My hand _is_ sticky," she admitted. "But in the moment, it was…"

"Amazing," they both said with a smile.

Puck reached for a towel he had on his nightstand to clean up. Rachel didn't want to think too hard about its presence there. He handed her the towel to wipe her hands.

"So you've never done this before? With Finn?"

"No," she blushed. "There was always…a barrier…and it was always dark. I've never…seen it."

"Glad to be your first—for a lot of things," he said with a slight grin.

Rachel felt warmth—and this time it was coming from her heart and not from below. "I'm glad too." She kissed him gently on the lips. "Thank you for being so considerate."

"Ditto," he said casually.

Rachel glanced at his alarm clock and fell back into reality. "Did you say you could drive me home?"

He sat up, pulled his shorts back on, and swung his legs over the bed. "Yeah, no problem. Let's go." Rachel gathered up her laptop in her bag and they exited the bedroom. Puck called down the hall to Sarah that he was driving Rachel home.

"Be back in five, ok?"

"Ok!" she called back. "Bye Ra-chel!" she sang out from inside her bedroom.

Rachel blushed. "Goodnight, Sarah!"

Puck opened the passenger side door of his truck for Rachel and waited to see if she needed any help getting inside.

She didn't—although she wasn't at her most graceful.

Puck whistled a tune as he walked around to the driver's side. He was in a good mood. He just got a tug from Rachel freakin' Berry.

Hot.

This deal was gonna be so sweet.

"What are you grinning about?" Rachel asked, bemused by his boyish whistling and happy demeanor.

"I think you know," he leaned over and elbowed her, as if they were two guys sharing an inside joke. "Our little deal is gonna be like the best thing ever."

"I'm glad you're so enthusiastic," she said without her smile. It was as if the magic vanished now that they had left his room. It was probably because he had reminded her that he didn't actually have feelings for her and this was just a mutually beneficial arrangement. She liked it better when she wasn't faced with that truth.

"What's wrong, B? Aren't you…enthusiastic too?" he kept glancing from the road to her face—trying to search her eyes. "I thought you said it was…what's the word? Amazing, right?"

Her lips twitched into a smile against her will. "Correct, that's what I said."

"Yeah, I know," he grinned, remembering the moment.

"Noah," she started. She thought about saying something about her negative feelings about the agreement, but she changed her mind. She didn't want to ruin whatever it was they had, and she hoped if she gave this time, maybe things would change between them. Maybe they'd be more than friends doing each other sexual favors. She grimaced at the thought of their current situation.

"What is it?"

"Oh, I was thinking you should drop me off at the end of my street. I think my dads will be disquieted if it's revealed that you of all people were my study partner."

"Really? You think they'll be worried that their little girl is more like a dirty girl if they see me?"

"What! No! Well, maybe. They _have_ warned me to be careful around you."

"Me specifically? But they don't know me!"

She gave him a pointed look. "Everybody knows you, Noah Puckerman. And they know about our…history…some of it."

"Oh. Yeah, I guess people in town do know me—especially at the JCC. But you told them…stuff?"

"Yes, Noah. I haven't always been this secretive. This is new for me."

A sly grin spread across Puck's face. "I like teaching you new things, Berry." He pulled the truck over to the side of the road at the end of Rachel's street.

"I'm an excellent student," Rachel smiled.

"Fuck, I want to teach you some more shit right here."

"Noah!" she blushed.

"Well, if you weren't so damn sexy…" he started, leaning toward her.

She met him halfway and kissed him feverishly. She wanted to kiss him, but she also wanted to avoid being caught.

"You were saying?" she asked quickly after she broke their kiss.

He looked at her blankly.

"You were saying, if I weren't so sexy…then what?"

"Oh, I don't know…it'd be more difficult to want to get it on I guess. But because you're hot as hell, I have the opposite problem—it's difficult to stop." He shrugged as if this revelation were obvious.

It was—to Puck.

It wasn't to Rachel. Not at all.

"Oh. That's a good kind of difficult, I suppose. Well, thank you for the ride. I'll see you at school tomorrow, Noah."

"Yeah, see ya, B."

As she walked the rest of the way home, Rachel thought about her night and the potential she hoped this arrangement could bring. She felt so…close to Noah. He really had good character under his layers of brutish behavior and vulgar expletives. But she wasn't easy to get along with either, and somehow, the two of them seemed to…fit. She knew these were sappy thoughts that should have been complete with animated birds braiding her hair, but she couldn't prevent them. She walked through her front door—humming a Disney tune.

"Rachel, it's awfully late, even for a study group," her dad said firmly.

"We were concerned," said her daddy.

"I'm sorry, Dad, Daddy. We were very productive, but it won't happen again. I'll make sure to call if it starts getting late and we haven't wrapped up so that I can make sure that it's ok with you to continue."

"Thank you, sweetie. That's all we ask."

Rachel floated to her room and got ready for bed, still humming.

Puck called her about ten minutes later.

"Hey, I forgot to mention it, but I think you've put me in such a good mood that I'm going to talk to Quinn tomorrow. So don't freak out or do anything differently from normal. You know, don't like talk to me and stuff in public any more than you normally do in glee, k?"

"Yes, ok," she said flatly.

"You ok, babe? You sound weird."

"I'm just talking quietly so my dads don't wonder who I could be talking to at this hour on a school night."

"Oh, ok. Goodnight, B."

"Goodnight." She couldn't bear to say his name. She wasn't sure if she was strong enough to handle the highs and lows of being Noah Puckerman's secret.

The irony was that she's the one who started this whole mess.

…

The next few days at school were terrible for Rachel. She found herself trying to be the first one into the choir room, hoping that _he_ would be the next one in—just so that they could share a look. His casual greeting of 'Sup, Berry?' made her beam, and his more suggestive use of 'Hey, Rachel' made her shiver and blush—just as he had predicted.

She thought about him every night. The outfits she picked each day were with him in mind. She'd cross and uncross her legs, hoping that _he_ would be watching and enjoying the view.

Rachel knew her behavior was ridiculous, ludicrous, shameful, and completely unacceptable.

But she couldn't help herself. She could compare her feelings to back when she was trying to think of everything she could to win over Finn—but now she felt like she was involved in something more dangerous and a lot steamier.

She felt like such a part of something…something that could be special, but at the same time she was so lonely.

Lonelier than she could ever remember feeling.

Before she had felt friendship, had a boyfriend, she didn't know what she was missing without them. Now she felt the loss painfully. It wasn't that she was missing the feeling of having Finn as her boyfriend specifically, but she missed being able to show her feelings for the object of her affection in public. She now had to revert to the times when she longed to be with Finn while he was still with Quinn.

It was funny that now she wanted to be with Noah Puckerman, and he wanted to be with Quinn Fabray. Funny, that is, if it weren't so tragic.

Yes, Rachel Berry was melodramatic.

But still, she was lonely. She counted some of the senior class of glee clubbers among her friends, particularly Kurt, but she couldn't be honest with anyone right now. She had to pretend that there was nothing wrong.

…

The week was wrapping up, and Rachel only felt worse. Thursday in glee club, Mr. Schue had another one of his exciting announcements.

"We're continuing our tradition of the annual duets competition!" he exclaimed. "And unlike our first year where we drew names from hats, and our second year when you picked your own; this year I'm choosing the pairings!"

Rachel fought the urge to raise her hand and tell Mr. Schue what a terrible idea that would be. Resisting…resisting.

He continued, explaining that he was pairing seniors with seniors, juniors with juniors, and so on. Rachel stopped listening until she heard names she cared to hear.

"Rachel Berry and Sam Evans."

"What?" exclaimed Quinn.

"That's right, Quinn," Mr. Schue said. "And you're with Noah Puckerman."

"What?" she repeated, even louder.

"I'm putting together pairs who rarely have been picked to sing duets together. It's a little experiment. Don't worry; I'm sure you'll do fine."

Quinn crossed her arms and sat back in her seat, glaring first at Puck, then at Rachel.

The only one who seemed to be particularly pleased with the arrangement was Puck, who was grinning smugly at his victory.

Rachel stole a glance his way. If he was upset by the fact that she would be performing with Sam, he didn't show it. Rachel tried to divert her eyes and focus her attention on Mr. Schue's inane guidelines for the duets competition this year.

…

After school, Rachel couldn't take it—she hated the feeling of jealousy she was already experiencing just knowing that Noah was paired with Quinn for their duet. He had warned her not to feel this way, and here she was already feeling possessive after just a few days and one…intimate experience. Normally, she would dive into school work when something was bothering her (that she couldn't sing away), or she would do some yoga or ballet. But she found she couldn't meditate, and she wasn't ready to call Sam to discuss their performance. Instead, she hoped she could count on a friend to help her clear her mind.

"Hi, Kurt. It's Rachel."

"Yes, I know. Not only do I have the fabulous invention called caller id, but I do recognize your voice."

"Of course. Is Finn there?"

Kurt was a little hurt and suspicious. "No, he's not. _Sorry_. Don't tell me you're trying to get him back…but if you are, tell me right now." Kurt couldn't help himself when it came to gossip.

"No! I'm definitely not trying to get Finn back. I ended it with him, remember?"

"Right, but would you have ended it if you hadn't found out he was with Santana on the side?" Kurt asked pointedly. "Couldn't you be trying to win him away from her?"

Rachel huffed but did not dignify his question with a response. "Kurt, I didn't ask about Finn so that I could talk to him; I called _your_ phone. I wanted to make sure he wasn't there and ask if it was ok if I come over to talk to you, like we used to do."

"Oh! Yes, come over, Miss B! I don't know that we'll have time to make cookies—and I'm watching my figure—but you should definitely come over for a chat. I can tell you have something on your mind! But we might have to make it a short visit…"

"Because Finn will be home soon?"

"Yes, I'll explain when you get here. We probably have at least 45 minutes."

"Ok, I'm on my way. Daddy took my car to get an oil change, so I'll be walking, but I'll be quick."

"Well, we can chat on the phone while you're walking," Kurt suggested.

"Ok. So why don't you tell me why we only have 45 minutes?"

"Oh yeah, you'll find this story interesting I think," Kurt began. "So, I walk in to hear _Santana Lopez_ offering to cook tacos for dinner for the whole family."

"Really?"

"Really. So Carol was like—_Oh, that's very sweet of you, dear_," Kurt did his best Carol-impression. It was alarmingly accurate. "And Finn was like—_Yeah, Mom, Rachel never offered to make dinner for the family, did she_?"

"Oh, do you think I should have?" Rachel couldn't help but ask.

"No! That's not the point! Santana is worming her way into Carol's heart! And Finn's! If you want him back, you'll have to act fast."

"Kurt, I told you, I don't want him back."

"Sure, that's why you wondered if you should have made dinner for the family," Kurt mocked her.

"I was just asking if I should have been more thoughtful when we were dating. You know, you're my friend too, and I really enjoyed spending time with your dad and Carol as well. I'm not much of a cook though, except for my cookies."

"Speaking of cookies, Carol said something nice about them right after Finn's comment about you never making dinner."

"Really?"

"Really. Rachel, I thought you had a bigger vocabulary," he admonished. "You're just saying _really_ over and over like a parrot."

"Really?" she joked.

"Are you almost here yet?" Kurt asked with mock exasperation.

She rang the doorbell.

"Thank Prada!" he sighed as he hung up the phone and answered the door. "You're even more annoying on the phone than in person," he hassled her.

"Nice to see you too, Kurt."

He pulled her into a quick hug then grabbed her hand to drag her into the kitchen. They sat on the stools at the counter island. "So, spill! You came here to talk, so talk, and quick!"

"You never got to the part of your story that explained why we had to hurry."

"I didn't? Oh, Finn and Satan are at the grocery store now getting supplies for Taco Night. Now go!"

Rachel giggled in spite of herself at Kurt's use of the secret nickname for Santana. "Ok, I'll hurry," she spoke quickly. "What should I do if I think I'm starting to like a certain boy, but he likes someone else? And usually when I start thinking he likes me too, he'll do something to remind me that he likes the other girl."

Kurt's eyes widened gleefully. "I thought you said you weren't trying to get Finn back!"

"It's not Finn!" she swiped at him playfully. Then she whispered frantically, "I think I hear a car!"

She was right.

Rachel scrambled to stand up and escape through the back door, but she was too late. Finn, Santana, and Carol came through the door, bags of groceries in their arms.

"Rachel!" exclaimed Carol from the front door. "What a surprise!"

"Hello, Mrs. Hudson-Hummel," Rachel said—a few decibels lower than Carol.

"Don't be silly, Rachel! Just because you and Finn aren't dating anymore doesn't mean you shouldn't still call me Carol!"

"Of course," she blushed. "Thank you, Carol. It's nice to see you all, but I was just leaving."

From behind Carol, Santana gave a fake smile. "Sorry to hear that. I was just about to start dinner for the family."

Finn gave an awkward wave as he set the grocery bags on the kitchen counter. "Hey, Rach. Didn't expect to see you here."

Rachel nodded. "I'm sorry to interrupt."

Santana turned away from Rachel and got right to business. "Carol, I think I should start the chicken. I'm going to poach it and shred it, which will take a while. But cooking without oils will be better for Burt's heart."

"Oh, Santana, how thoughtful of you!" Carol turned to face her son's current girlfriend. "Finn and I will put the rest of these groceries away and you just tell us what we can do to help."

"Thanks, Carol," smiled Santana.

"Would you like to stay for dinner, Rachel?" Carol asked. "We bought enough to feed an army."

"Well, I've been following a vegan diet…Perhaps I could stay and have a bean taco, if you have them," Rachel said hesitantly, looking around the room at everyone staring at her. She really didn't want to stay, but she wasn't sure how to politely decline.

"Beans? Oh, that's too bad," Santana said, trying to disguise her delight. "All we have is chicken and beef. Chicken especially for Burt and beef because Finn loves my carne asada."

"I do?" Finn asked.

Santana flashed him an annoyed look, but then batted her eyelashes and spoke sweetly. "Remember when you went to my house for dinner last week? That was carne asada."

"Oh! Then yeah, I do!" he gave a half-smile and a shrug, as if simultaneously apologizing to Santana and Rachel.

The awkwardness was overwhelming. Santana started the chicken and washed her hands, brushing by Rachel in the process.

"I'm sure you're a wonderful cook, Santana," Rachel said politely. "It seems you'll be very busy in the kitchen, so I should go. Have a lovely dinner, everyone." She gave a quick wave and rushed out the door without saying an official goodbye. She strode down the driveway, trying to get as far away as possible.

"Rachel! Wait!" Carol called, jogging after her.

Santana was washing vegetables and had a clear view through the kitchen window. She narrowed her eyes as she watched Finn's mom run out to Rachel.

…

"Rachel! Honey, wait just a minute!"

"I'm sorry, Carol; did you want to tell me something?" Rachel asked.

"Yes, I do. Even though you and Finn are no longer dating, I want you to know that you're more than welcome to spend time at our house. I know you and Kurt are friends, and I hope one day you and Finn will be friends again. You were a good influence on him."

Rachel blushed and nodded. "Thank you."

"I also miss spending time with you, dear. I want you to know that if you ever need to, you can call me. Here's my cell phone number, so you can call me directly without fear that Finn would answer the home phone."

"Carol, that's so considerate! Thank you so much!" Rachel's eyes filled with tears at the love of a mother who wasn't hers.

Carol Hudson-Hummel wrapped the little brunette into a warm hug. "I mean it; you can call me any time. Leave a message if I don't answer, and I promise I'll call you back."

Rachel blinked back her tears and thanked her again before Carol returned to her house and Rachel started her walk down the road.

Puck drove down the street shared by the Hudson-Hummels on his way home from 7-11. He saw Rachel making her way from Finn's house—and it looked like she was crying.

Shit.

He slowed down and pulled up beside her.

"Berry? You ok?"

She looked up, startled, but nodded. "Yes, thank you for asking." She wiped at her tears but kept walking.

"Are you _crying_ about _Finn_?" he asked, slightly annoyed. "I see you're walking in the direction from his house to yours."

"No," she huffed. "You're completely wrong, but you get points for critical thinking," she snapped. "Shouldn't you be speeding up? You wouldn't want someone to see us." She walked faster and turned her head away from him.

"Damn, B, that's cold. I just wanted to see if you're ok and offer you a ride." He inched the truck along beside her.

She shook her head. "No, thank you."

"C'mon, Rachel, let me drive you home. I'm just going to follow you all the way there at a crawl—and how conspicuous is this?" he joked.

She sighed and almost let herself laugh. "Fine. Thank you for the ride."

He stopped so she could climb in the cab of his truck.

"So, what's got you all choked up if it's not Finn?" he asked.

"It's Carol," she said, fighting the tears that were threatening to fall again now that she was actively talking about it. "She's just been so much more of a mother to me than anyone. I didn't realize how I missed that until now. Look," she pulled out the scrap of paper. "Carol even gave me her cell phone number. She actually wants me to talk to her—that's even more than my own mother!"

"Yeah, sorry, B. Shelby's a piece of work all right."

Rachel raised her eyebrow. "How would you know?"

"Well, she is raising Beth you know."

"And?" Rachel asked, still puzzled. Most of the kids who remembered Shelby called her Coach Corcoran or some offensive names related to the fact that she's Rachel mom or that she was head of Vocal Adrenaline's league of spies. Nobody called her _Shelby_, so it sounded strange.

"_And_ I make it my business to know who's taking care of my daughter," he said a little angrily.

"Oh, of course," she said quietly. "It's just…you never talk about Beth anymore. Quinn doesn't either."

"Yeah, well, it's not something I talk to _you_ about," he grumbled. "But you don't know everything, Rachel Berry. I love my daughter."

Rachel's eyes stung with unshed tears—but now they had multiple causes. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make assumptions. I find it admirable that you care so strongly for Beth. I only wish my birth mother felt that way about me."

Puck's anger melted. "Shit, B. Don't cry. It's against the rules," he reminded her gently with a nudge.

She sniffed and nodded. "I see why you made that rule. It seems that without it, I'd be crying in front of you all the time."

"Funny, you don't seem to care about the rules, seeing that you're breaking that one right off the bat," he mumbled—regretting it immediately.

"I didn't ask you to pick me up!" she protested. "In fact, you can let me out right now! I'm sorry that my emotional state over _my mother_ violates your idiotic rules!"

"Chill, Berry. It's cool. Let's agree that this doesn't count. Right now has nothing to do with our deal. This is just me being a friend, ok? I'm taking you home. Can't have you stumbling around with tears in your eyes—you'll probably break your leg or something, and then we won't have our star performer at Sectionals." He smiled at his own joke, hoping to get her to lighten up.

It worked. She gave him a watery smile.

"You have a pen with you?" he asked.

"Yes…"

"Write this down," he commanded. "S-M-Corcoran at gmail. That's her email address. You should type out your feelings to her, and if you feel like it, send it."

"You have her email address?"

"Yeah, well, she sends me updates about Beth sometimes; pictures and stuff. So, there you go."

"How long have you had this?" Rachel asked in shock.

"A few months," he shrugged. "I offered you her cell phone number last year, remember? When you didn't want that, I didn't figure you'd want her email address when I got that either. But now I think it might help. Even if you don't ever hit 'send', it might be nice to have a place to direct your feelings or whatever."

"Thank you, Noah. That's very sweet."

"Don't mention it. Really."

"I know," she nodded.

They arrived at her house, and Puck helped Rachel out of his truck. Marshall Berry was just pulling into the driveway with Rachel's car. He spotted Rachel's red eyes right away and jumped out of the car.

"What's going on?" he asked accusingly.

"Noah saw me walking home crying and he offered to drive me here, Daddy."

"And why are you crying, pumpkin?"

"It's about Carol, Finn's mom," she sniffed.

Marshall was still confused, but he opened his arms for Rachel to be passed from the Puckerman boy to her father. "I can take it from here," he told Puck.

"Sure thing, Mr. Berry," Puck said.

Rachel turned and gave a little wave. "Thank you, Noah."

He waited until Rachel was inside her house before he drove away.

…

Rachel thought she should wait to call Kurt back to get his advice after Taco Thursday was over. But she ended up falling asleep, emotionally exhausted.

…

On Friday, Rachel was nearly pushed to the point where she couldn't take it. She wasn't _exactly_ spying, but she observed part of an exchange between Noah, Quinn, and then Sam.

Noah seemed to be talking to Quinn, asking her something. Quinn said no at first, but then she hesitated and seemed to reconsider. This was the third time this week Rachel had seen them talking, but this was the first time that Quinn seemed to be cracking under the charm of whatever he was saying.

Sam turned the corner and spotted them. He asked loudly, "Puckerman, did you just ask my girlfriend out on a date?" He clenched his fists threateningly.

"Dude, chill. No," Puck held up his hand. "I just asked her to come with me to visit _our daughter_ this weekend."

Now that they were yelling, Rachel could hear everything. Her heart dropped at Noah's words. She noticed that Sam seemed to grow pale. Then he apologized.

"Sorry, man. I'm just a little overprotective when it comes to you and Quinn. But that's cool. You two do whatever you think is best when it comes to that."

"Yeah, we will," Puck said gruffly. "So, Q, you in?"

Quinn glanced nervously between the two muscular boys. "Yes, ok, Puck. I'll go with you this weekend."

"Wait, the whole weekend?" Sam bristled.

"Well, yeah, dude. It's a 3-hour drive, so we're not gonna drive up there, spend a few hours, and then drive back. We'll spend the night at Shelby's."

"I don't think I like this."

"I'll be on my best behavior," Puck smirked.

"You can trust me," Quinn looked into Sam's eyes. "Ok?"

Sam gave a half-smile. "Ok. Don't forget your promise." He looked at the promise ring she wore.

Quinn's eyes followed his gaze. "I won't."

From her vantage point, Rachel could tell that Noah was unhappy by the sight of the promise ring. Quinn had been wearing it for a year already, but apparently the reminder was unwelcome. Rachel sighed and headed to class.

…

By the end of the day, Rachel had successfully ignored Noah Puckerman. She arrived late to glee, ensuring that she wouldn't be able to seek out his attention the way she'd done every other day this week. She listened half-heartedly to the first duets by the junior members of glee. At least she had the whole weekend to prepare her assignment. She left school on autopilot—the steps from her locker to her car were a blur.

Now she knew that Noah's 'family weekend plans' were going to involve driving Quinn to visit Beth…and Shelby. She had such a mixture of emotions about these people; she knew she needed to do something to find her center. By now she realized that Kurt wouldn't be able to help her. He would just press her until she revealed or he correctly guessed who she liked. She decided that the only option she had at this moment was to be productive and attempt to focus her energies on a successful duet.

After Rachel calmed down, she called Sam.

…

**A.N.** Like many of you I'll be pretty busy this week, so I'm not sure when the next update will be, but I won't make you wait too long.

If you celebrate holidays that haven't already passed in December, Happy Holidays!


	5. Gone, Gone, Gone

**Ch. 5. Gone, Gone, Gone**

**A.N.** Another title for this chapter could be Jealousy… This chapter has songs related to glee club duets, and you can hear as many as you like by listening to the playlist in my youtube channel. Type the youtube address and add this link:

/view_play_list?p=5742DD1537F88902

Not all of the lyrics for all of those songs are included. Only the first two are important/related to the plot, but I threw in the other performances for kicks.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own glee, songs, or anything familiar.

…

Much of Rachel's weekend was spent practicing with Sam. It was actually a fun diversion from her worries about Noah. She hated the fact that she felt like he would be cheating on her with Quinn, as if she were his girlfriend instead of his secret…_whatever illicit thing that she didn't want to name_. Still, she felt like a jealous girlfriend while Sam was a similarly jealous (or at least worried) boyfriend.

She was even close to confiding in Sam about those worries when he brought up his concerns about Quinn, but she stopped herself. She was glad she diverted disaster and managed to come up with a pretty good duet routine with only minimal thoughts of Noah Puckerman.

Minimal considering he was Rachel's inspiration.

…

Sam showed up at the Berry house and the two went straight to her room to get started. He started talking right away, setting down his guitar and taking a seat on her bed.

"This competition is going to be about votes, so I'm thinking I should show off my biceps," Sam said, raising his sleeve and flexing. "You don't seem to be afraid of showing your legs, so I think our wardrobe will be simple. All we have to do is get one group not to vote for themselves, but instead to think we're hot and talented," he finished bluntly.

Rachel was surprised by his attitude, but decided that it was refreshing to work with someone who was so…honest. And that's what she told him.

"Thanks," he shrugged. "So, I made the first decision; do you want to suggest a song?"

"Well, there is a song that we could consider that's been in my head lately." _His_ face flashed in her mind and she paused before continuing. "It's more your style than mine, and I don't think it will show off our vocal ranges properly. However, it might have the right effect you're looking for—In fact, I can picture myself in a 60s-inspired sundress and you dressed like James Dean—jeans and a t-shirt with your sleeves rolled up, playing your guitar."

"You paint quite a picture. Color me intrigued," he grinned.

They listened to the cover of _Gone, Gone, Gone_ by Robert Plant and Alison Krauss.

"This is great! I'll totally rock this!" Sam exclaimed. "They won't expect you to take a more subtle part like that. Plus, it's not like we ever actually use the songs we practice this early."

"That's very true. Mr. Schuester isn't an ideal director."

Sam chuckled. "Yeah. And we have a good shot at winning the duet competition if we pick a song like this where we can have fun with it and get the others to have fun with us."

"You've convinced me to agree to my own choice," she smiled.

"Alright, alright" he said in his Matthew McConaughey impression.

Rachel didn't realize he was talking differently than usual.

Sam decided based on prior experience that he shouldn't point it out.

Rachel stood up from her bed. "Shall we start practicing? I'm sure I can come up with some fun choreography."

"Make that fun and sexy choreography, and you've got a deal."

"Sam?" Her tone was at once disapproving and questioning.

"I don't wanna give you the wrong idea here. I just wanna win, Rachel. That's all I care about—I'm very competitive. Well, I'm busy, so I want to win with the least amount of effort possible. Don't worry. I'm harmless," he shrugged.

His goofy grin and his sparkling blue eyes won her over—she was certain he wasn't trying to seduce her when he had Quinn.

She knew in most arenas she was no match for Quinn—except when it came to singing.

"I'm very competitive too," she told him. "I think I can come up with fun and flirty moves that won't get you in trouble with your girlfriend."

"That's good. The last thing I need is for Quinn to be mad at me…Speaking of Quinn….before we get down to business…can I ask you a question?"

"You may." She sat back down next to him.

"Should I be worried about her with Puck?"

Rachel chewed her lip thoughtfully. "No, I don't think so. Quinn seems happier with you than she's ever seemed with anyone. Not that we're close friends or anything."

"Duh."

"Anyway," Rachel gave him a glare, "she and Noah were never really a couple. I think you can trust her."

"It's not her I'm worried about—she can freeze out an iceberg. I'm worried about _him_."

"Oh, of course. Well, I have to admit that you probably have good reason to be worried that Puck might have…intentions of persuading Quinn into…dating him or something…Not that I have evidence of this."

"Yeah, you don't need to present me with evidence. I know that Puck guy is bad news."

"He's not that bad," Rachel protested, leaping up and crossing her arms. "He won't do anything that Quinn doesn't allow him to, so you don't have to worry about that."

"Damn, Rachel, calm down. Now you're starting to freak me out." Sam ran a hand through his shaggy blond hair. "Do you think he'll…_persuade_ her this weekend?"

Rachel bit her lip again as she pondered her answer. "I think you should just call her each day, maybe a few times a day to check in—if she's tempted—which she probably won't be—but _if_ she is; I'm sure talking to you will return her to her senses."

"That's good advice…I think. Mind if I take a break to call her now, just really quickly?"

Rachel was relieved and nodded rapidly. "No problem! I'll just start working on some choreography!"she exclaimed brightly. All that talk made her worry too, but she hoped that her advice to Sam would work.

It was too soon for her to lose what was just beginning—even if it might be easier on her heart if things stopped before they went too far. Rachel was torn between wanting more and wanting…a clean break—hence her song choice.

…

Puck was stoked he got Quinn to agree to come on this trip with him at the last minute. He'd been bugging her about it all week. He was trying to be nice about it, but there were times when he just wanted to tell her to stop being a bitch and visit her own fucking daughter.

He never said that of course. Otherwise he was sure she wouldn't be sitting there next to him.

She had actually admitted to him that she preferred to feel normal when she could, and being faced with Beth didn't let her feel like a normal teenage girl.

"Fuck normal," he'd told her. "We're awesome. And Beth is awesome—she's amazing."

"It's only been a few months since we saw her for her first birthday," Quinn had pointed out.

"Shit, Quinn, do you know how much stuff is happening in the first few years? All the learning to talk and walk and stuff? Now's the best time to try to see her more than once a year—and especially while she's too young to ask questions about who we are. I bet that will make Shelby think twice about letting us see her in the future."

It was then when Sam had stepped in, and Puck almost thought that Quinn agreed to go just because she thought Sam would think less of her if she didn't.

But who cares? She was here with him now, and he was going to do his best to show her that they should be together. He was in it for the long-haul though, so he wasn't going to go full speed ahead yet. First he was just going to get back into friendship-mode with Quinn—because it had been awhile since he could say they were even at that stage.

"So, Q, it's lucky we were picked for the duet competition, right?"

"Lucky? I don't know if I'd say that."

"Well, we have all this time driving to Cleveland and back, perfect time to use for practicing. If we'd been paired with other people, we'd be screwed."

"I guess."

"And lucky for you, I already have a song in mind."

Quinn raised an eyebrow.

"I'll play it for you first. It's Joshua Radin and Ingrid Michaelson."

"I've never heard of Joshua Radin."

"That's because you're sheltered—musically and in other ways," Puck declared.

Quinn was not happy. He could tell by her glare.

"You're talking to the teen mother of your child, remember?

"Yeah, I know—I remember every day. You're the one who seems to forget."

"I told you—it hurts to think about it…" she crossed her arms. "Can we get back to the song? It might be hard to put together a duet when I've never heard the song."

Puck decided not to press the Beth issue for now. "Well, if you can think of another decent duet where the dude is a Jew, then we'll do that. I figured that you wouldn't want to do Neil Diamond and Barbra Streisand, so I picked this."

Quinn wrinkled her nose. "Fine. Let's just practice and get this over with."

"We've got 3 hours of driving there and 3 hours back—plenty of time," he reasoned.

"What about choreography?" Quinn asked. "Nevermind. I don't think we need to bother. You just play your guitar and I'll do my own thing. I don't want to spend any more time on this than we have to."

"We can improvise," Puck agreed. "I'm not worried."

"I'm not surprised," she said mockingly. But then her tone changed. "I'm not worried either," she smiled.

"We've got this in the bag," Puck grinned.

"On the subject of duets, what do you think about Sam being paired with Rachel?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, you probably know Rachel pretty well…and her…experience…Should I be worried about her with Sam?"

"What?" Puck laughed. "No. Nothin' to worry about."

"It's not a stupid question!" she insisted. "You two had your little…affairs or whatever they were. How am I to know if she's not some kind of secret sex-freak?"

"Berry's a virgin," he said authoritatively.

"Really?" Quinn raised a skeptical eyebrow. "I thought that maybe you two… But still, maybe she and Finn… "

Puck gave her a dismissive look.

"Don't you remember her first day at celibacy club? When she announced that girls like sex just as much as guys? Ugh, I can't forget it," she finished, disgusted.

Puck grinned from ear to ear. "Oh yeah, now I remember."

Quinn took one look at his face and swung her arm out to hit him in the gut.

"Ow! Watch it! I'm driving over here!"

"Pig!"

"You know it, Q," he grinned and winked at her.

She huffed and rolled her eyes, but he could see she was smiling.

"You wanna listen to the song to get the hang of it on the way up?" he asked.

"Sure."

As Puck turned up the volume, Quinn's phone rang, so he turned it back down.

"Oh, hi, Sam!" Quinn beamed into the phone. "We were just talking about you."

Puck listened to her side of the conversation, and Quinn would look at him and speak loudly enough for him to hear the parts she wanted him to hear.

"Yes…well, I was asking Puck if he thought Rachel would try to seduce you," she said in a joking tone—even though she was basically telling the truth.

She laughed at whatever he said, and then said. "Really? You were just talking to _Rachel_ about _Puck_?" She looked over at Puck with a smile. "And the verdict?"

"I'm glad you think I'm trustworthy even if neither of you trusts Puck," Quinn said with smile.

Puck was a little pissed that Rachel told Sam he wasn't to be trusted, but then he realized that Rachel had first-hand knowledge of his plan to win back Quinn. But still—he was no rapist or some shit.

"Dude, I'm not gonna touch your precious girlfriend!" Puck yelled into the direction of the phone. "We're just gonna visit _our daughter_!"

"You heard that, right?" Quinn asked Sam. She turned to Puck. "Sam said thank you for giving him your word. He says he trusts us."

"Whoopee-di-dooo," Puck said sarcastically. "I can die happy."

Quinn rolled her eyes. "Well, we're still driving—we have at least 2 more hours…I know. I'll call you when I get there. Bye, sweetie." She closed her phone.

"Aw, sweetie-pie," Puck mocked her.

"Oh whatever, Puckerman," she rolled her eyes, but she was in such a good mood from Sam's call that even Puck's change in attitude hadn't brought her down yet. "Isn't it funny that Sam and Rachel were working on their duet and discussing the same things we were? At the same time?"

"Yeah, hilarious." Puck's mood was dampened but he didn't want to ruin this chance to actually make Quinn have a decent time with him and see him as a good guy. "So…do you want to practice our song?"

"Sure. I _do_ feel like singing. Let's hear it."

Of course, once Quinn heard the song, she questioned the choice.

"I'm not sure about these lyrics…Don't they sound too much like…we're in love?"

"You think so?" he asked as if that hadn't already occurred to him. He shrugged his shoulder without removing his hand from the steering wheel. "I don't think the words matter that much. It's hard to find a duet _not_ about love. I think it's a good song for our voices."

"Well, that's true," she admitted. "But will it be weird that one of the lyrics says, _drying your brown eyes_—when we both have green eyes?"

A memory of Rachel crying flashed into his mind, but he buried it. "I didn't write the words, Q! Would you rather pick another song?"

"Maybe."

"Remember, I gotta keep my streak of doing glee solos only from Jewish singers. Let's see; there's Neil Diamond, Billy Joel, Sammy Davis, Jr…."

"Oh for crying out loud! I give up! We'll keep this song."

He responded with a trick he learned from his mother. "Only if you're sure…"

"I'm sure! Play it again," she demanded.

He obeyed with a grin.

…

"Noah—and Quinn!" Shelby exclaimed with surprise. "Um, come in."

"I'm sorry; I didn't mean to show up unannounced. I thought Puck got permission to bring me," Quinn apologized.

"It's fine. You two are welcome to schedule visits with Beth," Shelby said carefully. She didn't want to give them the impression they could just show up any time they wanted with an open invitation.

Just as they were getting settled on the floor to play with Beth before her bedtime, Quinn's phone rang. "It's Sam, my boyfriend," Quinn explained to Shelby. "I was going to call him to let him know we got here safely. He's probably checking in to make sure."

She answered and talked for a moment. Then she looked at Puck. "He apologized for being a bother, and told me that Rachel suggested he call me a few times a day to let me know he's thinking of me. Surprisingly sweet of her, don't you think?" she smiled. She forgot that adding the 'surprisingly' might offend Shelby, but as she glanced back at her, the resemblance between mother and daughter was too startling to go unnoticed. She walked out of the room to finish her conversation.

"Was she talking about Rachel Berry?" Shelby asked. "Is Rachel friends with Quinn too? I know you're all in glee club together, but from my brief interactions, it didn't seem like the three of you were friends."

Puck scratched his scalp. "You're right; Rachel and Quinn aren't really friends. But, yeah, that was same Rachel she was talking about—we all have these assignments for glee. Rachel's paired up with Quinn's boyfriend, and I'm with Quinn."

"And here you are…Interesting," Shelby said. She didn't say anything else about it.

Neither did Puck.

…

The weekend visit flew by and was an overall enjoyable one for everyone involved. Shelby even invited them to come back for Beth's second birthday.

"Or you can visit again sooner, if we schedule it in advance," she told them.

They both thanked her, kissed Beth goodbye, and headed out. Not long into their trip back home, Quinn's phone rang. It's like it had been ringing nonstop the whole trip.

"It's Sam," Quinn told Puck. "He and Rachel say hi. They're taking a break from practicing their duet."

Puck rolled his eyes. He was going to have a talk with that girl as soon as he was alone. He got home around nine after dropping Quinn off, so he called Rachel.

"Are you long-distance cock-blocking me, Berry?"

"What? I have no idea what you're asking me."

"Did you tell Sam not to trust me and to call Quinn _all the time_ so that I'd have no shot with her this weekend?"

"Yes and no. That's not entirely correct. I told Sam that his concerns that you would try to persuade Quinn into…doing things Sam would not appreciate…that those concerns were valid. I then suggested that to relieve his fears, he could call Quinn over the weekend so that she'd be thinking of him…instead of you. It wasn't done with the intent to ruin your shot, or cock-block you, as you so distastefully call it."

"It sounds like cock-blocking to me," he griped.

Her own anger and hurt flared. "I was under the impression that you weren't trying to jump into bed with Quinn Fabray. I thought you had some grand plan of making her see you as a good guy first. Isn't that why we added the long-term clause into our agreement?"

"Uh, yeah…I guess that's true. I hadn't expected her to say yes and come with me on this trip, so maybe I was getting ahead of myself." He started slowly, but then he spoke faster as he continued. "You know, you're right, Rachel. I could have really blown this if I would have pushed her too far, too soon. You're more like a wing-man than a cock-blocker! So, thanks, B. Sorry I yelled at you."

"You're welcome," she sighed resignedly at her designation. "I'm glad you had a nice trip."

"Yeah, I totally did!" he exclaimed. "You should see Beth! She's like this tiny person—it's crazy! And of course, she's beautiful since she's got my genes and Quinn's. Her eyes are so green and she says a few little words…"

He started gushing about his daughter, and a sad smile spread across Rachel's face as she listened to him over the phone. She was so happy that he was talking to her about personal things—sharing as if they were close friends. But the happiness was bittersweet considering she realized that his daughter was one of the strong ties he had to Quinn. And it was a strange tie that he had to her own mother—he had spent the weekend at her mother's house—and had apparently done so on other occasions.

She fought the urge to ask about Shelby.

And he never brought her up.

…

Rachel didn't think she'd be able to stomach watching Noah try to win over Quinn. She decided avoiding him would be in her best interest for a while. Maybe if she could distance herself, she could recognize the good aspects of her arrangement with him—gaining more experience and practical knowledge to aid her with future romantic endeavors—rather than investing her heart in the future sexual partner with whom she'd signed a most ridiculous contract.

At glee on Monday, all of the seniors sat in the duet pairs, and Mr. Schue handed them a number to give them their performance order.

Most of the juniors who went on Friday picked slow ballads and didn't do much dancing. Given that Puck brought out stools, it appeared that Puck and Quinn would follow that trend. Rachel and Sam exchanged confident glances, feeling good about their chances.

Puck carried his guitar to the front of the room and had a seat on a stool. "I'll be continuing my streak of singing glee solos only by Jewish artists," he declared, eyes flicking briefly to Rachel and then around the room. "So enjoy," he said with a little shrug. Quinn shook her head with a smile and stood off to one side, waiting for her entrance. Puck began playing and sang the first verses of _Sky_.

_I woke, dreaming we had broke  
Dreaming you left me for someone new  
And you cried, drying those brown eyes  
Crying you're sorry; sorry won't do  
_

He looked at the others watching him, glancing away when he caught Rachel's eye. He looked toward Quinn.

_But this is the way I need to wake  
I wake to you, and you never left me  
All that I dreamt had been untrue  
Open my eyes, I see sky_

Oh oh oh oh you know  
The way to keep me on my toes  
I-I-I-I will be fine  
Just say you'll stay forever mine  
Till we fall asleep tonight

Quinn walked toward Puck, smiling shyly as she joined him for the next verses of their song.

_**Last night we had a great fight  
I fell asleep in a horrible state  
Then dreamt you loved my best friend  
My heart would not mend  
Seemed it was fate**_

But this is the way I need to wake  
I wake to you, and you never left me  
All that I dreamt had been untrue  
Open my eyes, I see sky  


While Puck stayed seated, Quinn danced around him. They alternated between smiling at each other and at the audience—Quinn particularly focused on Sam of course. Every now and then, she'd glance at Finn, who would give a nod of recognition and perhaps encouragement. It was hard to be sure—especially considering that line about loving the best friend.

****_**Oh oh oh oh you know  
The way to keep me on my toes  
I-I-I-I will be fine  
Just say you'll stay forever mine  
Till we fall asleep tonight  
**_

Quinn returned to sit next to Puck. Rachel's stomach churned as she watched him gazing into Quinn's eyes so sincerely.

_**Sometimes I forget to love you like I should**_

_Love you like I should  
__**But I'd never leave you  
No, I never would, I never would  
**_

They both stood up together and did a little impromptu dancing—as best as they could with Puck's guitar and without a plan in mind.

_**Oh oh oh oh you know  
The way to keep me on my toes  
I-I-I-I will be fine  
Just say you'll stay forever mine  
**_

_**Oh oh oh oh you know**_

_oh oh you know_

_**The way to keep me on my toes**_

_**To keep me on my toes  
I-I-I-I will be fine**_

_I will be fine_

_**Just say you'll stay forever mine**_

_**Till we fall asleep tonight**_

_Till we fall asleep tonight_

They finished the song seated, smiling into each other's eyes.

"Charming as always, Quinn," Santana said with a saccharine smile. She saw the way Quinn had been looking at her man. She wanted to tell her to get her eyes off of her boyfriend, but she held her tongue.

Sam leaned in to whisper into Rachel's ear. "Now, I love my girl Quinn, but I think we're gonna knock their socks off."

Rachel blushed and smiled. "I agree. And nice use of 60s period lingo, Sam."

"Thanks, Rach," he grinned. "Let's do this." He extended his arm to help her up (not that she needed help).

Puck raised his eyebrow at the exchange. What the hell was that? Then he noticed what she was wearing: a short dress that was flaring out when she walked. Sam had his t-shirt sleeves rolled up like a douchebag. They looked like they'd stepped out of the 60s or some shit. When the music started, Puck realized why.

The drum beat started, followed by Sam strumming his guitar. They smiled and started walking toward each other with a spring in their step to match the beat. Sam's smile was infectious and Rachel was genuinely smiling throughout their song.

_**Some sunny day, baby  
When everything seems okay, baby  
You'll wake up and find that you're alone  
'Cause I'll be gone  
Gone, gone, gone, really gone  
Gone, gone, gone, 'cause you done me wrong  
**_

Rachel incorporated hand claps, hip sways, and playfully suggestive 60s-style dance moves to enhance their performance. She smiled to see the other students tapping their feet and starting to clap.

****_**Everyone that you meet, baby  
As you walk down the street, baby  
Will ask you why you're walkin' all alone  
Why you're on your own  
Just say I'm gone  
Gone, gone, gone  
Gone, gone, gone, 'cause you done me wrong**_

The other glee clubbers started getting into the music, and Sam motioned for them to stand up and dance along—most of them did.

_Oh now come on, yeah!_

_**Aah, aah, aah**_

She danced around Sam, twirling her skirt and wagging her finger at him playfully, as the song called for. He danced too, while playing his guitar. ****

_**If you change your way, baby  
You might get back to stay, baby  
Ya better hurry up if ya don't wanna be alone  
Or I'll be gone  
Gone, gone, gone, really gone  
Gone, gone, gone  
'Cause you done me wrong**_

_Yeah, you done me wrong now, now!_

_**Aah, aah, aah**_

Rachel and Sam sang with their backs pressed together, and then they'd look at each other suggestively as they danced.

Puck had mixed feelings about the performance. Rachel kept clapping her hands over her head, causing her dress to inch up mid-thigh. Then she'd spin—and he could totally see these smooth black panties just covering her firm little ass. And so could everyone else.

_Yeah, yeah!_

_**Some sunny day, baby  
When everything seems okay, baby  
You'll wake up and find that you're alone  
'Cause I'll be gone  
Gone, gone, gone, really gone  
Gone, gone, gone, 'cause you done me wrong**_

_Mmm, you done me wrong_

_Well, well, well…yeah!_

Rachel walked backwards into the audience before dancing her way back to Sam for the final dance moves together to close out the song.

Rachel and Sam smiled and took their seats to listen to other duets. They felt pretty relaxed until their competition really got going.

Finn and Tina did an exceptionally good rendition of _A Whole New World_. Rachel noticed Santana looking at her a few times instead of at Finn. She deduced that Santana must have been trying to detect any lingering feelings on Rachel's part. As she was only appreciating Finn's vocal growth and Tina's pleasant soprano, Rachel wasn't worried about Santana's glare.

Next, Artie and Santana revealed themselves as contenders for the prize with their duet _Don't Know Much_. Rachel started feeling less confident about winning—but at least they didn't dance—she and Sam still had that going for them. The interesting combination of Mercedes and Mike sang _Sometimes Love Just Ain't Enough_—which Mercedes carried and left Mike without a good dance beat. Mike still managed to throw in some modern ballet which was quite beautiful, but not exactly drawing in audience participation. To close the competition, Brittany and Kurt did an entertaining version of the _Elephant Love Medley_ from _Moulin Rouge_—complete with dance-acting.

"Wow, everyone!" Mr. Schue clapped after the final performance. "I think this little exercise has proven just how much talent we have in this glee club! Give yourselves a hand!"

"So, when do we vote?" Sam asked after the smattering of applause died out.

"I've decided that there won't be a vote this time," Mr. Schue said. He winced at the shouts of "What?" and the general groans, but he continued. "You're all winners in my book!"

"Lame. I wanna get my Breadstix on!" Santana declared sourly.

"Sorry, guys," Will shrugged. "I can't afford a prize this year."

"What about a Sectionals performance for the winners like last year?" Sam suggested.

"I think it's best if I decide who'll perform at Sectionals and Regionals, and hopefully Nationals. I don't want a popularity contest to pick the performances," Will said firmly.

"This blows," Sam grumbled. "All that work for nothing."

Rachel raised her hand. "Mr. Schuester, you do realize that we have other things to occupy our time besides our glee assignments, right? It's one thing if there is a goal, but to find out that our effort was pointless is extremely upsetting. Some of us are seniors who need to be working on college applications, among other things. I think we'd all appreciate if you take that into consideration in the future," she finished as diplomatically as possible.

Will bristled at her indictment of his teaching choices, but he recognized her point. He nodded. "Ok, Rachel. Class, I apologize for changing my mind on the outcome of the competition. I will be more considerate of your time." He hated when Rachel Berry was right—it made his left eye twitch. "Well, that's it for today, guys. We'll get to work on our Sectionals set list tomorrow."

Sam leaned over to Rachel. "Thanks for sticking up for us. You're pretty cool, Rachel."

"Thanks," she smiled. "At least one person thinks so."

He gave a half-smile. "It wasn't so bad hanging out with you this weekend—it was a good distraction. I'm still pissed off that we didn't win anything and that there wasn't a prize in general; but thanks for being a good duet partner and keeping my mind off of you-know-who." He stood to leave with Quinn who was walking down the risers from her seat beside Puck.

"You're welcome. You were a great partner too." Rachel turned to Quinn who stood next to Sam and linked her arm in his possessively. "Quinn, your performance was lovely."

"Yeah, babe, really good job," Sam told her and gave her a kiss on the cheek. He winked at Rachel, who smiled back and waved as they left.

Puck casually walked toward the door, hoping to catch Rachel. For two people who had barely talked to each other before last week, she and Sam were weirdly friendly. Rachel turned to see him approach.

"Nice song choice, Noah. When you said you were continuing singing songs by Jewish artists, I have to admit I had a flash of panic that you and Quinn were singing _You Don't Bring Me Flowers_."

"Funny you should say that. I thought of it, but that seemed more like a Rachel Berry song than a Quinn Fabray song."

She smiled in agreement and turned to get her bag so she could leave.

"So you were panicked, huh? Does that mean you were jealous?"

"Hardly," she scoffed. "I was just afraid to listen to Quinn butcher Barbra."

"And you don't think that sounds a little jealous?" he smirked.

"No, it's just being honest. I'm a rather honest person…about most things. Sam and I found we have that in common."

"I bet."

"Well, I only meant to compliment you on your song. So, good job, Noah. I'll be going now."

"Hold up, B. You did a nice job too," Puck said casually. "That was some choreography."

"Thank you, Noah. We thought a fun beat would inspire the others to dance along—as well as vote for us. Sam thought we should appeal to everyone's sexual impulses."

"He did, did he? I didn't think the little dicklet had it in him. Well, I guess that might've worked if we would've voted. I even caught Schue admiring your panties when your skirt flipped up—that perv."

She blushed because she knew that Noah had noticed—just as she'd hoped in her own contemptible way. But she played it off. "Don't be ridiculous. The skirt twirl is a common move for show choirs—cheerleaders too. It's not perverted for Mr. Schue to notice. Hopefully, he _will_ take note and incorporate more of my ideas into the choreography."

"Do you still have a thing for The Schuester?" he needled her. "You do, don't you?"

"Now you're being _really_ ridiculous. I think I should head home now."

"Wait, one more thing. So was that song for me or for Finn?"

"It was just for the class assignment," she lied.

"Yeah, I know, but why did you pick that song?"

"Sam and I agreed that it would suit his style, as well as be a fun song to sing. Nothing more."

"Really? Well, ok, whatever, I guess." He paused, but he just couldn't let it go. "I mean, it seemed like it could be for Finn—like you still might go back to him. Or it could be for me, like I've done something wrong. Have I? Seriously, are you jealous about me and Quinn?"

"Jealous of your duet?" Rachel seized the opportunity to weave truth into her lie. "No, of course not. Quinn's vocals _have _improved, but she still doesn't have my range or power. And while I still think you're an excellent performer, Noah, I think that Sam and I won over the crowd–which is a first for me in this club," she said confidently—this part was true. "So, no, I'm not jealous at all."

"I think we should have added a _No Lying_ rule," he mumbled.

"Oh really? How's this for not jealous?" she asked defiantly. "Would you like me to try to seduce Sam, and get him in a compromising position so that you and Quinn can catch us? Then you can comfort Quinn and be her hero?"

"What? Whoa," he gaped at her. His heart beat faster. "Did you just come up with that? Wow. That's like…genius…Seriously?"

"No!" she exclaimed in a fury. "Of course not! I'm not a slut," she whispered harshly.

"Yeah, ok, I know. Sorry," he held up his hands in surrender. "…But then, why did you say it?"

"I don't know. It just came to me, and I wanted to find out what you would say, I suppose. I thought it would prove I wasn't jealous and that I haven't forgotten _your rules_," she said in a low voice, just a trace of bitterness biting through the words.

"Well, ok, I guess. That was pretty weird though. The thought of you and Sam…"

"What?" she asked angrily, masking her fear of what he would say. "You don't think I would be able to lure him away from the beautiful Quinn?"

"Not that at all. You two seemed to get pretty close over the weekend. I was kinda…picturing you two…like if _she and I_ caught _you and Sam_…and it was kinda… turning me on…and making me mad. Thinking about his hands on you…"

"Good," she stated, zipping her bag closed and standing to leave.

"Are you saying 'good' that I was turned on or that I was mad?"

"Both," she said simply before flouncing away out of the choir room.

Puck was left staring after her.

_Shit_.

…

Rachel was furious—at Noah and at herself. Why was she so captivated by him? Especially when all the signs pointed to his infatuation with Quinn…it seemed that he only wanted Rachel in order to fulfill his sexual urges. Of course, she reminded herself, he told her this directly. She's the idiot who agreed.

To be fair, when she agreed she hadn't realized she would become so infatuated with him so quickly. But that was a poor excuse because part of her knew she could never be trusted to keep a level head around Noah Puckerman. But she couldn't prevent her emotions—and those told her that she wanted a real relationship.

She needed to keep her distance because he clearly wasn't ready to move beyond their agreement, and she should know better than to even allow herself to entertain such a misguided idea.

Perhaps she should wait until after high school to let herself have feelings for a boy. She only had to get through this year, and then she'd be off to college far away from Lima, Ohio.

…

On Thursday, Puck noticed Rachel reading in the library during lunch and decided to duck inside. He swooped into the seat next to hers.

"I've been dreaming up plans for you all week," he whispered smoothly.

She looked up at him, unimpressed. "That's nice," she answered dismissively. She crossed her legs and continued reading.

Puck wondered if she was playing hard to get or just trying to stick to the rules of keeping their distance at school. He decided it had to be the rules. Berry seemed like a stickler for rules—except for his _No Crying_ rule—she had a lot of trouble with that one.

He slipped out of his chair and left the library without another word.

…

"So, you ready for this weekend, _Rachel_?" he smirked as he approached her after glee on Friday.

"This weekend?" she asked innocently, despite the goose-bumps arising at the thought. "What about it?"

"Come on, _you know_," he whispered—attempting to lean close to her without being too obvious—fortunately, nobody was left in the room. "Your place or mine?"

"Yours," she said breezily. "Just text me, and we'll choose a good time when we can be alone."

She walked away.

She hoped he didn't notice that she was trembling.

He didn't.

…

Puck didn't wait long to send her a text. He made sure that Sarah went to a friend's house instead of inviting some girl over for the weekend. His mom would be at work for hours. It was _business time_.

Rachel didn't take long to show up after his text. He opened the door and looked her up and down. She had on some kind of white frilly top that he could just see her bra through and a short pink skirt. No knee socks, just sandals. Her hair fell in loose waves in the humidity of the summer evening.

Her look was a combination of innocent and sexy that was pretty fucking irresistible.

"Glad you could make it, baby," he grinned.

"I parked down the street," she said without a greeting.

"So, what's up with your attitude with me, B?" he asked, leaning on the banister leading up to his bedroom.

"Can you clarify to what you are referring?"

"Uh…" he paused as he translated her words, rearranging them into an order used by normal people. "You've been acting like you're mad at me all week."

She sighed. "I'm not _mad_ at you, but I _am_ frustrated."

He furrowed his brow in puzzlement. "I don't see the difference."

"I have no _anger_ directed at _you_ specifically, that's the difference. I'm _frustrated_ because one minute you're hot, the next you're cold—it makes my head spin!"

"I could say the same thing about you," he pointed out.

"I don't even know what to think around you!"

"I warned you, didn't I?" he smirked. "C'mon, let's go to my room." He turned to head upstairs.

"You're infuriating! I don't think I can keep doing this." She said the words, but she realized she was still following him up the stairs.

Puck's eyes widened and he turned to face her at his doorway. "Wait! No! Let's take a minute and talk about this rationally."

"RATIONALLY? None of this is RATIONAL! This whole situation is completely IRRATIONAL!"

"Whoa, calm down, ok? Here, sit." He pulled her (gently) onto his bed and put his arm around her. "I don't understand why you're changing your mind so quickly. We haven't even gotten to the good parts yet. This is our first night to enjoy it—_alone_. Come on…let me prove to you just how good this can be." He started massaging her shoulders to relax her.

"Well, this is a start," she admitted. "You have permission to plead your case."

"My case?"

"Yes. Tell me why I shouldn't invoke the early termination clause."

"Oh. Fuck. I wish I hadn't agreed to that," he muttered.

"It works in your favor too," she reminded him. "With Quinn…"

"Right, yeah…well, I never thought about how much it would suck if you left me."

Rachel's heart leaped into her throat at his choice of words. This is what she hated—feeling like she had a chance one moment, and certain that she didn't the next. "Well, now that you are considering it," she said carefully, making sure her voice didn't waver, "tell me why I shouldn't leave."

"I'm better at showing than telling," he said in a low growl, leaning toward her.

And Rachel knew she was a goner.

…

**A.N.** I won't leave you hanging for too long. Next chapter will pick up right here ;)

Also, some of you might note some similarities to my other stories (perhaps _Junior Year_ in this chapter). This is because I have a certain sense of how these characters would behave given the scenarios the Glee writers set up, so some things may seem similar across my stories. But I promise that there will be lots of differences between this story and my others, if you'll keep reading to find out…

Finally, check out the new poll in my Author Profile or include in your review if you have a preference for who Quinn ends up with at the end of this story. Thanks so much and Happy New Year!


	6. Phase One and Done

**Ch. 6. Phase One and Done**

**A.N. **New strategy for this chapter. All Mature. Skip and wait for Ch. 7 if you're not inclined to read P/R smut.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Glee or anything familiar.

…

Rachel shifted uncomfortably under his gaze. She cleared her throat, attempting to also clear her head. If she wasn't careful, she would lose the will-power she hoped she had.

"Before you _show_ me any reasons why I shouldn't terminate this agreement, _tell_ me one reason. Just one." She prayed she didn't sound as desperate as she felt.

Puck didn't pause to think before he answered, but he did buy himself some time. "Ok, _Rachel_, I'll tell you why." He moved next to her so his thigh was pressed against hers. He could feel the heat radiating from her hot little body.

Oh, he so had this.

He pushed himself backwards on his bed so that he was sitting behind her and she was between his legs. He continued massaging her neck and shoulders, now with both hands instead of the half-assed style he had started using before she sprung this question on him. He leaned to whisper in her ear.

"Chemistry—we have it. You can't deny it. I want you. You want me. Let's let it happen. Let _this _happen."

Rachel discovered how difficult it was to stay mad at Noah Puckerman when he was massaging the tension right out of her shoulders. Her will-power was fading…but he did tell her a reason—a pretty compelling one. It was simple, direct, and true: they had undeniable chemistry. She did want him. She wanted him to want her too. He said that he did, but she wanted him to want her in more ways than one.

She didn't press the issue. She decided to let herself get carried away in the moment instead.

"That feels good," she murmured.

"Exactly, B, exactly. Just think about how good I can make you feel. There's nobody else who can do you like I'll do you."

"Nobody else," she repeated in a daze, closing her eyes and let herself enjoy the pressure of his hands working her muscles.

He slipped his hands beneath her thin white shirt. He felt her flinch slightly, but he kept massaging, making no effort (yet) to go farther. When he could tell she was loosened up, he asked her.

"I told you, B. So can I show you now?"

She nodded slowly, reluctantly…only because she knew this was trouble. She knew she wanted it anyway.

His fingertips found her breasts immediately, expanding his back massage into a full body massage.

"You have amazing powers of persuasion," she sighed.

Puck decided now was the time to get her out of her clothes, before she changed her mind or he said something stupid to fuck it all up. Still sitting behind her, he unbuttoned her top, and she allowed him to take it off, along with her bra. He continued alternating between a back massage and frontal fondling. By this time he realized he'd never actually seen the perky pair he was feeling up, so he decided to remedy that right away. He encouraged her to stand up, and he stood up and stepped in front of her.

To his surprise, she immediately pulled at his shirt, and he had no problems hurling it to the floor without taking his eyes off her.

"Fuck, B. I knew you felt good, but you look damn good." He licked his lips as he reached for her skirt. "Let's get this outta the way."

She blushed, but didn't stop him. She didn't trust herself to say anything. She just found herself reaching out to touch his abs and tug at his jeans.

He grinned as he pulled down her skirt, revealing white panties that would have matched the bra that was now on the floor. She was so hot. He always knew it, but fuck, now he really knew. He kept staring at her as he stripped off his own clothes—but he made quick work of his because he might was well give the girl something to stoke the fire. What could be better for her than the sight of his awesome body?

The sight of him in all his glory was an aphrodisiac, for certain. Rachel had never been completely naked in front of anyone before, but here she was, standing in front of him in only her lacy underwear. She was in excellent shape, but she knew that she had certain imperfections in comparison to some other girls-even though he never made her feel as though her body was in any way inferior. Her emotions were a mix of confidence, anxiety, anticipation, and desire. Somehow he managed to make this feel natural and wonderful, yet illicit at the same time. She didn't want to stop, so she let him lead the way.

His hands roamed her body, and he could tell he was on the right track. Of course, it didn't take him long to say something that was totally normal to him, but a rude awakening for Rachel.

"I have to ask you something before we get started," he told her.

She nodded, still mesmerized by the sight of him standing before her.

"Do you have your test results back?"

"Test? Oh, from the doctor. No, I don't. I'm sorry." She felt ashamed that she was so disappointed. She started to sit down on the bed and gather up her clothes, but he wouldn't let her. He caught her by the shoulders and kept her standing.

"It's ok. Next time, baby. This is just Phase One."

"Ok?"

"Do you play with yourself, Rachel?" he growled.

"What?" she squeaked.

"Do you touch yourself?" He decided to spell it out—this was Rachel Berry after all. "Do you masturbate?"

"A—a little."

"Do you do this?" He stroked her through her panties, teasing her.

"…Yes," she managed.

"Good," he grinned. He deftly pulled down her underwear so he could reach her directly. He knelt in front of her—she was so short and this was perfect.

"But you can't do this," he smirked.

Rachel gasped as she realized what was happening. He was stroking her with his thumb, he was inside her with another finger, and he was kissing her breasts—progressing to sucking and licking in a most obscene and glorious way. She was at a loss for what to do. She thought abstractly that he was supremely coordinated—much more so than Finn whose drumming skills should have translated into the ability to do multiple things at once. But her thoughts dissolved as he managed to evoke a fluttering inside of her she'd never felt before.

"Oh, oh, oh…" she breathed.

Puck was pleased by the way she was already clenching around him. Damn, he was good. He stood up, still working her with his right hand, and substituting his left hand for his mouth. He positioned himself to rub against her without accidentally slipping it in—it wasn't ideal, but it would do the trick. He kissed her neck and she immediately turned to kiss him on the lips. An idea of something he wanted gripped him. He broke free of her amazing mouth.

"Say my name," he commanded.

"Oh, P-Puck?" she stammered.

That didn't sound right—not from her.

"Say my name, Rachel."

"Noah, oh Noah…"

That felt right.

She relaxed and leaned into his kisses on her neck. She pushed herself close to him—she wanted to be closer to him.

She felt his hard length pressed against her lower abdomen. She was amazed that she had that kind of power over _him_ of all people when she wasn't even really doing anything but letting him work his magic on her. He was all lips, tongue, fingers, and muscle. She felt helpless in his hands. She looked around wildly for something she could do for him. Then she spotted it—his bottle of lotion sitting (unapologetic) on his nightstand. She reached out for the pump with one hand.

She managed to reach him, and she was elated when he groaned and his hands briefly lost their rhythm. She wanted to make him feel this way too. And the sensation of him slipping through her hand just turned her on even more. She arched her back, pushing herself into his hands and sliding her breasts against his lower chest and upper abs.

Puck started working her harder—in part to reward her for her efforts on his cock and in part because he couldn't help himself. He really wanted them to come together. He couldn't get that thought out of his head. It was pretty much the only thought that he could keep in his head right now.

Rachel was shaking and could no longer control her actions. The best she could do was to keep her hand in position so that he could thrust himself into it. Her legs were so weak she wasn't sure how she was still standing—probably only because he was holding onto her.

"Noah…I'm…" she started but couldn't finish.

"I know, baby," he said into her skin. "We're so close. We're gonna do this together."

How she wanted that—for them to be together. Rachel felt a release inside.

As soon as Puck felt her start to go, he went for it instead of holding off—there'd be other times to show stamina—if she was going to come, he was going to let go with her—even if it couldn't be with his dick inside her enjoying the ride. This was still fucking hot as hell.

Rachel felt the hot fluid shooting into her hand and onto her stomach—the force of it was stronger than she had remembered from the first time. She was still shaking a bit and crumpled onto his bed before realizing she was a mess and needed to clean up so that she didn't soil his sheets.

He handed her a clean blue towel from his nightstand. She smiled and shook her head. "Always prepared."

"Hell yeah. I figured you of all people would appreciate that," he smirked.

"Yes, I do. Thank you," she said sincerely.

"You really took it outta me, B. I need a rest," Puck said as he climbed into his bed—still naked but as clean as he could be. He lifted the covers for her. "You in?"

The sight was too much to resist. Rachel was back in silent mode—not trusting herself to say much. She just slipped into bed with him and rolled onto her side so she didn't have to face him. She was afraid if she looked at his beautiful face she might cry…or worse…admit her feelings. She tried to breathe deeply to calm down. To her surprise, he wrapped his arm around her and pulled her close. She gasped when her rear hit his…lower body, but he was still flaccid and relaxed. So she relaxed and enjoyed the warmth of his body and the comfort of his arm around her.

He chuckled at her gasp. "Hey, guys like cuddling just as much as girls," he grinned at his own joke.

Rachel's eyes widened but she didn't budge from her position as the 'little spoon'. "You remember that? What I said in celibacy club sophomore year?"

"Totally. That was so hot," he smirked into her hair.

She was _cuddling with Noah Puckerman_. _Naked_. It was surreal and wonderful. He even surprised her with his memory...He was really rather thoughtful-just like how he picked up on her enjoyment of grape slushies. Tonight he did so much for her, and he hadn't asked for anything except for her to say his name. Maybe he would have asked her to do something for him if she hadn't reached for him herself, but she didn't think so. She had a feeling that he was just going to focus on her tonight. That didn't mean he wouldn't ask for something in return later—after he _broke her in_ as he had called it. She shivered and her pulse quickened at the thought of what he might ask her to do.

She hated that she couldn't wait.

She hated that she didn't want to leave his arms.

Rachel felt the rise and fall of his chest and then panicked at the thought that they'd both fall asleep and be discovered.

"Noah? Are you awake?"

"Hmm?" he mumbled.

"When will your mom be home? Maybe I should leave."

Puck took a moment to think about it. He was damn comfortable in his bed with her next to him, but he'd be fucking uncomfortable if his mom caught him in bed with Rachel Berry. She'd caught him with girls before, but if she saw it was Rachel, she'd probably be pissed for about 2 seconds before she realized that Berry was the Jewish princess she'd been waiting for and force them into a teenage marriage.

"Yeah, you probably should go to be safe. But let's meet up tomorrow."

She nodded and slipped out of bed to put on her clothes. Puck didn't move. He just watched her from the bed.

"I suppose you're not going to walk me out?"

"Are you kidding? I'm exhausted—I did a lot of work for you, B. You should be thanking me," he said as he stretched out in his bed.

Rachel wrinkled her nose, but decided he had a point. She felt a strong urge—she wanted to kiss him goodbye. But he seemed perfectly content to lay there—the lazy jerk. So that urge was easily squashed.

"Thank you. Goodbye, Noah," she said primly.

Puck smirked that he actually got _her_ to thank _him_. Sweet. "See ya next time, B. You're gonna love Phase Two," he promised.

"I'm sure that's true," she murmured as she stepped out of his bedroom and closed the door. "I'm sure that's true."

…

**A.N.** Basically the chapter I was writing got way too long, so I thought the first scene could be separated from the rest. This means that chapter 7 with the main plot will be posted in the next few days. I hope this wasn't too…smutty…for you lovely readers! (If it is, just let me know. I aim to please.)

Also, I forgot to credit **LizzayMartini **for turning me into a Joshua Radin fan (ch 5)—thanks L!

To **tante.v**—I couldn't send a review reply because PM was disabled, but thanks so much! Esp. glad you like Tired of You from _Junior Year_! ;)

**Stessa**, I also got messages that PM was disabled for you, so I haven't been able to answer your messages either. I'm not sure if my account is to blame or what!

Thanks everyone for reading and for your great feedback!


	7. A Contract is a Contract

**Ch. 7. A Contract Is a Contract **

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Glee or anything familiar.

…

Rachel was in a terrible state, walking a balance beam between forced (false) indifference and completely being swallowed by the forces of nature she felt whenever she was around (or thought about) Noah Puckerman.

Apparently they had another 'date' on Saturday. She had no idea what to expect for Phase Two—Phase One seemed pretty advanced to her.

She kept thinking and dreaming about him, about them, and how things would be the next time she saw him. She hoped she wouldn't be too affected by him when she saw him in school. Even at home whenever she thought about him in the privacy of her own room, she could feel her face flush—and she felt an insistent pulsing in her core that she wished he was there to relieve.

But for better or for worse (probably better), they didn't get to Phase Two that weekend. Deb Puckerman got the weekend off of work and wanted some family time.

And Puck told Rachel there was no way in hell he was inviting her over with his mom and sister when he had no chance of getting some action.

He didn't see a reason to hang out with her if they weren't getting down to business.

Rachel told herself not to be too disappointed—his attitude was to be expected and she had more than enough activities to fill her time.

And this was true—especially when she factored in the amount of time her mind wandered off into explicit daydreams about him—all of her normal activities took her much longer than usual to complete successfully.

Unacceptable.

…

Beginning that weekend, Puck found himself alternating between being obsessed with thinking about getting Berry off and trying to focus on Quinn. He wished he could have figured out a way to get her into his room without his mom freaking out (and telling him to marry Rachel Berry asap). He couldn't wait until he could actually get his dick inside that tight little pussy of hers. He was enjoying the whole phase idea—which he'd just been making up on the fly—as if he'd actually bother with 'easing' any virgins into anything. He was a sex-god stud. But when he found out Rachel was a virgin and wanted him to be The One, he figured that he could make it really good for them both. And he was learning he was right. She was so fucking hot—and so ready and willing—it was pretty unbelievable. He seriously couldn't believe his luck. He'd often have to remind himself that the important goal was Quinn, not Berry. But…the longer it took to get Quinn, the longer he and Rachel would keep up their little game.

No, that wasn't the point. The point was his family: it was supposed to be Beth and Quinn. Shelby was like, old, and alone. She wasn't gonna live forever—or what if she got in an accident? He didn't wish for that, but he thought about it sometimes. Wouldn't it be great if he and Quinn were together for real, and Beth came to live with them one day? Or she got to stay with them sometimes…like joint custody? He even had this idea that he'd go to college in Cleveland—and convince Quinn to do the same, so they could babysit or whatever for their own daughter. He was definitely applying up there to be closer to his daughter. It just seemed right that Quinn should be a part of that life he was planning too.

But then at school he'd see Rachel walking down the halls, tanned legs in a short little skirt, and his mind would wander back to what he was going to do to her when they were alone.

Waiting was hell.

…

On Monday, Rachel resolved to focus all her energies on her studies and her college applications. That way she hoped to push her fantasies of Noah Puckerman to the back of her mind. She had too much to do and too much to lose to let herself get lost in an unattainable dream.

She did her best to concentrate on the new songs for Sectionals—even though once again she was overlooked for a solo. Rachel reasoned that she would probably be selected for the more important performance at Regionals like last year. She decided to avoid social interactions that would distract her, which mainly meant she would ignore Noah Puckerman. However, it was easy to avoid basically everyone. Kurt tended to ignore her in glee in favor of Mercedes. Quinn cracked down on Sam the first time she saw him being friendly to Rachel, hanging around him possessively. Santana seemed to hate her even more too, for reasons Rachel couldn't fathom.

(The reasons were related to the way Finn watched Rachel's duet performance, but Rachel didn't put this together until later.)

So Rachel didn't have anyone to distract her from her music anyway.

After glee that day, she lingered to ask Mr. Schuester about a proposal. She noticed Noah hanging around, but she ignored him just as she told herself that she should.

"Mr. Schue," she started. "As you may know, auditions for performing arts programs begin in a few short months."

Will nodded, glancing at his watch.

"I am finalizing my audition materials, and I wonder if you and I might spend some time together so that I can receive some individualized instruction and advice." She looked up at him imploringly.

At first, Will was about to blow her off—basically the last thing he wanted to do with his free time was spend it alone with Rachel Berry. But then he realized the benefit to him if he actually had a role in his students' placement into prestigious music programs. He broke into a smile when it dawned on him that of all of his students, Rachel Berry was still the most likely to succeed.

"Rachel, I'm flattered you've come to me for help. I'd be happy to schedule some time with you. When would you like to start?"

Rachel was taken aback by his quick agreement and his genuine smile. She had expected his usual dismissal of her with a lot of persuasion on her part to convince him that helping her was in his best interest. She realized that his smile probably came from his own realization of that obvious fact, but she couldn't help smiling back.

"As soon as possible—when it's convenient for you, of course."

"Thanks, Rachel," he grinned, getting excited by the prospect. "I'm not really prepared to stay after school today, so how about tomorrow? We could aim to meet every Tuesday evening until your auditions begin if you like."

"That would be great, Mr. Schuester. Thank you. See you tomorrow." Rachel left the room humming happily. As she turned the corner to her locker, she nearly ran right into a wall of muscle.

"What was that about?" Puck asked her gruffly.

She explained tersely that she was just preparing for her auditions. "If you're intending to apply to music or performance programs, you should be doing the same."

"Why didn't you tell me? I had no clue about this audition shit," he griped.

Rachel gaped at him. "Why in the world would I get involved in your education?"

He leaned toward her, causing her to blush immediately. "Because of our long-term clause. I figured you'd want to continue our arrangement after graduation."

She thought her heart might stop, but she shook her head. "Don't be ridiculous."

He shrugged and backed off. "Just playin'. But seriously, I don't have anyone to tell me about this shit, and you're like an expert. I thought we were friends, B. You gonna leave me hangin'?" Puck was acting casual, but he was actually freaking the fuck out. He wanted to go to college in Cleveland to be closer to Beth, but he had no idea he'd have to jump through a bunch of hoops like a live audition.

"What are you asking me exactly?" Rachel asked cautiously.

"I'm asking you to help me with the audition stuff. The application shit. I already know where I want to go, but I guess I didn't realize what I had to do."

"Well, it's good that you know where you want to apply. And I suppose this means you are interested in music programs if you're interested in auditions…"

"Yeah, I'm not worth a shit for anything else—except maybe landscaping or some kind of trade. I'm not good enough to be a professional athlete, which sucks cause that'd be an easy way to make bank. Mom really wants me to go to college—to make her sacrifices count for something or whatever. So the next best thing would be music. I guess joining glee taught me that I really want to perform."

Rachel smiled tentatively, in awe of the friendliness of the conversation but trying not to get carried away. "That's great, Noah. I should say that even if McKinley doesn't have a stellar reputation in sports, you shouldn't count yourself out of athletic scholarships; but I'm glad to hear that you're pursuing the arts. I'm happy to help you, but I'm not sure what the committees are looking for in their applicants. You might be better off asking Mr. Schuester for help."

"Nah, fuck that. Schue's not my biggest fan and he's kind of a douche. Now you…I know you and I work well together," he finished suggestively.

Rachel blushed again. "Yes, we do. I'll help you, Noah, in any way I can."

"I know," he smirked. "That's part of the agreement."

"No-ah!" she admonished.

He rolled his eyes and smiled. "But seriously, how soon can you help me?"

"Considering I meet with Mr. Schue tomorrow, how about we start today? Or Wednesday if this is too short notice," she added quickly.

"Come over tonight. After football practice—seven, ok?"

"Ok," she beamed.

"Awesome! Thanks! I gotta run." He took off for the locker room.

He had a hella good practice—he was tearing it up out there. He felt like he actually had a chance now that he lucked out by getting Rachel to help him. Seriously, everything was going his way.

…

Rachel, on the other hand, used those few hours before seven to completely over-analyze his words. Did he really want them to go off to college together? Could he be serious in spite of the way he played if off? She was thrilled at the thought. She was the one who kept calling him ridiculous, so maybe he would have been serious if she had responded differently. And what about where he wants to go…she was set on the east coast, ideally the Tisch School at NYU, but she could perhaps be flexible. Then again, he probably wanted to stay in Ohio, while she would clearly have more opportunities elsewhere. She didn't want to even bother with the west coast, but UCLA stuck out in her mind—probably because the last she heard it was the school of choice for Jesse St. James.

But that was also a reason to avoid UCLA.

No, NYU was her first choice. Her dads were so set on NYU (or Julliard, but they admitted that given her high school preparation at McKinley, that was probably out of the question. They _said_ they preferred NYU anyway, and they described enough reasons why so that she mostly believed them.)

But she had concerns that Noah wouldn't be able to get into NYU—or pay the tuition. It was extraordinarily expensive, not to mention the cost of living in the city—drastically different from life in Lima, Ohio.

In a fruitless exercise, she began looking up information about financial aid programs, housing options, and guitar auditions at NYU to bide her time while she waited for just before seven o'clock. She gathered everything up, bookmarking several sites in her browser, and headed over to Noah's. This time she drove, as the nights were cooling down and she had a perfectly reasonable explanation for her car's presence on his street if anyone happened to notice and bring it up at school the following day.

Once she arrived at the Puckerman house, she was greeted again by Puck's sister at the door.

"Hello, Sarah."

"Hi Ra-chel," she sang back. "I like your skirt."

"Thank you," Rachel answered primly. "I wore it to school today. Is Noah here?"

"Yeah," Puck called from the kitchen. "Be right there, Berry."

"Noah can confirm that I wore this to school." Rachel felt compelled to justify her wardrobe choice. "Right Noah?" she asked him as he came into the living room carrying two glasses of water. "This is what I wore to school today, right?"

He looked at her like she was crazy. "How would I know?" He shrugged. "I guess it looks like the stuff you always wear."

She shook her head and gave him a glare. "Fine," she turned to Sarah with a defeated smile. "I suppose you'll just have to trust me."

Sarah just shrugged. "Whatever."

Puck shoved a glass of water at Rachel. "Here."

She looked at him quizzically. "Thank you?"

"S'no problem. Just thought since you're helping me with the application stuff, I should offer you something. Then I realized we didn't have anything you'd eat or drink except water, so yeah."

"Thank you," she repeated with a sincere smile.

"Let's go," he told her as he headed up the stairs ahead of her.

When they got to his room, he asked if she wanted to sit at his desk. "I could grab an extra chair from downstairs," he offered.

"Oh that's ok, I'm perfectly comfortable on your bed," she replied.

He smirked and she realized what she had said. Of course she felt her face flush.

"Yeah, I like seeing you on my bed," he winked, but then he turned away from her and logged into his computer. Rachel opened up her laptop to get started, making sure she was sitting properly in her skirt.

Suddenly Sarah burst into the room.

"Oh, No-ey! You're actually working!" she exclaimed in surprise, expecting to catch them both on his bed.

Puck blushed at her use of the family nickname he hated. "What the hell, Sarah?"

Rachel grinned at the sight of his reddening cheeks as Sarah answered her brother.

"Well, it's a commercial break, and…" Sarah's eyes gleamed as she figured out what to say. "I just thought that since you were such a _gentleman_ to your guest, I would come by and ask Rachel if she wanted more water."

Puck didn't like being called a gentleman either. It was almost as bad as Noey—almost.

"Thank you, Sarah, I still have plenty of water," Rachel smiled. "But I appreciate the gesture as well as your interruption—I believe this is the first time I've ever seen Noah Puckerman blush!"

The two girls grinned at each other while Puck glowered at them both. "Very funny. Now get outta here, freakazoid," he demanded.

Sarah rolled her eyes. "I think my show's back anyway," she said sulkily, but she smiled at Rachel on her way out.

"Well, No-ey, shall we get to work?" Rachel giggled.

"You can never call me that again. Ever. Especially not at school and shit." The blood drained from his face as he imagined just that.

"Don't worry," she assured him. "Acting too familiar in public would violate the spirit of our terms of secrecy."

"I'm glad you're strict about following rules," he said with a relieved half-smile.

"A contract is a contract," she said too brightly.

"So do we need a contract for you helping me out like this? With my college stuff?"

She shook her head. "No, you can just consider it fringe benefits."

"I have no idea what that means, but I like the sound of it," he grinned back.

She smiled. "Consider it an offering made out of friendship, not contractual obligation."

"Cool."

"So, I started looking into financial aid information and such, which I have here on my laptop. But you mentioned that you already have some schools in mind, right? Maybe we should start there," Rachel suggested.

"One school. In Cleveland."

Rachel wrinkled her nose at the idea of college in Cleveland, Ohio.

"Hey, it's Case," he told her. "Don't make that face."

"Oh, Case Western Reserve," Rachel nodded. "That _is_ a good school. I hadn't really even considered applying to any schools in state," she admitted.

"Maybe you should," Puck said. "It could be your back up. Then we could go to the auditions together—you know, carpool or some shit."

Rachel tried not to seem overly excited by this idea. "Hmm, it's something to consider," she said casually. She was proud of her calm demeanor.

They spent over an hour going over the admission requirements and determining the dates of the auditions—held just before Rachel's auditions in New York. Puck was feeling overwhelmed with everything he needed—he was going to have to audition for classical guitar if that's what he really wanted to do. Suddenly, he wasn't so sure of anything except that he needed to be in Cleveland.

Rachel could sense his anxiety and suggested that they call it a night and continue later. "And maybe I _will_ join you—auditioning at Case could be my practice audition for NYU."

"Cool. Should we request dates now? While you're here?"

She liked how he seemed to need her help. It was odd: Noah Puckerman as the vulnerable one in the room. In a split-second decision, she agreed to help him request an audition date, and she requested one for the same date. It would be finished two days before her audition in New York during Thanksgiving Break, so she could ride with Noah to Cleveland, and then fly out of Cleveland to JFK without her dads asking too many questions. Or so she hoped.

"And don't forget to try to get a recruiter or someone to watch you play…sports," she added.

He chuckled. "Thanks, B. I'll do that. So now I just have to figure out this audition and application shit, and I need to work on my powers of persuasion."

"Powers of persuasion?" she raised her eyebrow at his choice of words, reminding her of his deeds from that weekend.

"Yeah, I doubt Quinn will be a music major, but I'm gonna try to get Quinn to apply to Case too."

"Oh!" Rachel couldn't hide her surprise. "You're really serious about her, aren't you?" she asked, barely above a whisper.

He shrugged off her question, but Rachel could tell.

It was imperative that she leave now. She snapped her laptop shut and shoved it into her bag. "Remember I'm meeting with Mr. Schue on Tuesdays, so we'll have to find another day to continue work on your audition."

"Sure. I'll text you. Thanks, B," he said casually before picking up his guitar. He was itching to start practicing.

"I suppose I'll show myself to the door," she muttered as she left his room.

She said goodbye to Sarah, who looked surprised to see her leave, but didn't get up from her spot on the couch.

She was so much like her brother.

…

Feeling utterly deflated, Rachel drove by Kurt's house and parked. Maybe she could just talk to Kurt about his latest dramas and that would help get her mind off of her own preposterous situation.

Carol met her at the door. "Oh, Rachel, come in!"

"Thank you, Carol. I was in the neighborhood and wondered if Kurt's home."

"I'm sorry, dear. He's out with a friend. Dave or Dane maybe?"

"Dane?" Rachel was puzzled. "Or was it Blaine?"

Carol nodded. "It may be Blaine. I'm not sure when he'll be home, but I could make some tea if you'd like to stay and wait. We could chat like old times," she smiled.

"No thank you. Please don't go through the trouble. I appreciate the offer, but I'll just head home and talk to Kurt later."

"It's no trouble," Carol assured her. "But I understand if you need to leave."

By the look on her face, Rachel thought that maybe Carol Hudson-Hummel did understand. "Thank you, Carol."

"Hope I'll see you later, Rachel," she replied with a nod.

…

Rachel felt worse than ever.

Once she was safe at home in her room, she decided she needed a mini-catharsis. She decided to take the advice of a _friend_.

She typed up an email to Shelby.

_Dear Ms. Corcoran,_

_I regret ever meeting you. Now I am finally going to tell you why. _

_How can it be that the mother of my ex-boyfriend takes more interest in me than you do? Of course, considering that her son cheated on me with his new girlfriend, I am extremely uncomfortable around her now, so once again I am left alone to fend for myself. Fortunately, I am very self-sufficient and independent. However, I think that no matter what her age, a girl always needs her mother. Unfortunately, despite genetics, you won't ever fill that role with me, will you? _

_I think you should know that my self-worth plummeted when you sought me out only to reject me. And the way you sought me out was despicable…using Jesse St. James, your own student and our rival team to befriend me—and more. That boy hurt me not only emotionally, but physically, by leading an assault on me in our high school parking lot. Who cracks an egg over a girl's head and the watches as his team mates pelt her with eggs? What did you teach your students, Mother? _

_To add insult to actual injury, I am falling in love with the biological father of your new adopted daughter._

Rachel gasped when she realized what she wrote. "No, no, no," she said to herself as she deleted that text. "Oh, no." She changed it immediately.

_To add insult to actual injury, I have been __**building a close friendship**__ with the biological father of your new adopted daughter. Can you imagine how I feel knowing that you chose to adopt his daughter and yet refuse to have any part of my life? You don't want to even admit to my existence! It's true that I don't need the same level of care that a newborn needs, but at the age of 16 when we met, I could have really used someone to help guide me through formative teenage years—a female role model and mentor, of which I had none. It would have been different if I had never met you, but you searched for me. And then when you found me, you were so disappointed you didn't even want to stick around to get to know me and try to build a relationship—at least a friendship. Instead, you adopted my classmate's baby and left without a word. If only you would have tried to get to know me once you found me, I might have learned from you and maybe you might have learned some things from me. But you never gave us that chance._

_And for all of these reasons, I wish I had never met you._

_I will do my best to pretend that is the case. I will not contact you again._

_Rachel Berry_

She didn't send it. But she saved it in the Drafts folder. Maybe later.

Rachel wiped the tears that had fallen while she typed out her unsent message. She felt utterly alone. The only time she didn't feel alone was when she was with Noah—but the aftermath of her latest encounters with him left her feeling more hollow than ever once she was no longer in his presence.

She felt like an addict with a secret craving for him.

She disgusted herself.

And returning to school did nothing to bring her out of her depression.

At least Mr. Schue commended her for her use of emotion in their practice session on Tuesday. But other than that, the week was pretty bleak.

Noah was obsessed with Quinn of course, and would barely speak to her—he wouldn't at all if he saw Quinn around. But now after his football practice, she was on her way over to his house, faithfully helping him fill out the application and find sheet music for classical guitar pieces. Sarah was always there, so they didn't fool around—she was honestly just there to help him. And she enjoyed it more than she thought she should. Of course he was flirtatious and made the occasional sexual remark; that was to be expected. Mostly he was friendly and considerate; that was slightly unexpected. She always knew Noah had this side to him, but now she was experiencing it more regularly: every day that week except for Tuesday.

Still he basically ignored her at school, and everyone was absorbed in their own lives, while Rachel had nobody. She had never been close to anyone in glee club (or high school for that matter), except for when she had been dating Finn. That's even when she became closer to Kurt—after he transferred to Dalton. Now that he was back, she wished that they could have a better friendship during school hours, but that was impossible. Kurt was always with Mercedes (who mostly hated Rachel—though they had made some strides toward mutual respect); and when Kurt wasn't with Mercedes, he was hanging out with the Cheerios or some of his other friends. All were people who didn't seem to like Rachel, so she just avoided them. The only time she could be friendly with Kurt was outside of school, at his house; and now Rachel wasn't sure that was the best option.

But when she found out that Noah again had plans over the weekend (once again postponing their alone time even though she now knew she was 100% clear of STDs and was shamefully anxious to move on to Phase Two), she needed some distraction that didn't involve locking herself in her room. She had a nagging concern that she didn't live up to his expectations so instead of seeing her this weekend, he'd decided to see someone else—another girl he could have sex with the way he wanted. She hoped this was just her insecurities because _he_ was the one who said that it would be just the two of them; _he_ was the one who made it more than just a one-nighter of taking her virginity away; _she_ never suggested any of those things. And all of those additions that he made just caused her to feel more and more like they were in a real relationship. It was a difficult thought to shake—especially when she was with him.

So to keep her thoughts from wandering too far, she decided to stop by Kurt's immediately after glee when she knew Finn would still be at football practice and Santana would be in the Cheerios captain's meeting. (Yes, she kept track of Santana-a legacy from when she was getting over her hurt from Finn's betrayal.) She called Kurt first as she was driving, and then sent a text, but he didn't answer. When she got to his house, Carol and Burt were both still at work, but Kurt's SUV was parked in the driveway and Rachel found the door unlocked. She called into the house, announcing her presence, but didn't hear an answer.

Undaunted, she headed to Kurt's room and knocked on the door as she entered.

What she saw was shocking.

She gasped as she saw Kurt talking on his webcam with…

"Karofsky?" she squeaked.

Kurt whirled around to face her. "Rachel? What are you doing here? This is private!" he exclaimed. He was angry that his privacy was so invaded—that his secret was out.

"I-I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! I didn't expect…I didn't mean to…"

"Rachel, please leave," Kurt said stonily.

"But, Kurt, I…I just needed to talk to you without Finn and everyone else around. Can we talk later?" she tried.

"Can I trust you with this?" he asked.

"Of course. Who would I tell?" she reasoned.

Kurt nodded, but he was still upset. "Don't call me. I'll call you," he said, "when I'm ready."

"But it was an accident!" she protested.

"Rachel, I need you to leave," he said firmly. "Please," he finished with a hint of plea.

She nodded sadly and went home. She didn't understand why Kurt didn't trust her with this. Whether the Karofsky thing was friendship or more than friendship, she wouldn't betray him. Well, maybe she'd try to figure out what on Earth could be dysfunctioning in his brain…And it's true that she was harboring a large secret herself…Ok, so maybe she could understand why Kurt didn't want anyone to know about whatever was going on with him right now.

Still, she had managed to alienate the only person she thought would be able to take her mind off of Noah Puckerman.

Only a few more months and this would all be over, she promised herself. No matter what, she was going away to college and all of the social hierarchy of high school would be over. She could start fresh in college—she just hoped she wouldn't find herself repeating the same pattern and become socially isolated in college too. But it would be completely fresh faces and places—New York (hopefully) where her talent would be appreciated along with her drive to reach her goals.

So Rachel knew that all of this: Noah Puckerman, Kurt Hummel, and her frenemies in glee club; all of that was temporary.

She couldn't help but feel hope and sadness at the same time.

…

That weekend she tried to stop herself from calling Noah with an invitation…but she couldn't get the idea out of her mind. She hoped that his plans that kept him from meeting up with her would also prevent him from answering the phone on Sunday night.

They didn't.

"S'up, B?"

"I have…a situation approaching…and a question for you. Is now a good time to ask?"

"Uh, I guess. You sound weird."

Rachel took a deep breath. "I apologize for sounding…weird. I suppose I'm a bit nervous."

"Relax, B, it's just me."

She tried to follow his advice—but it was somewhat strange (and wonderful) that he seemed to consider them close enough to say something like that. _Just me_. It made her stomach do a loop before she actually calmed down and let the warmth of familiarity and comfort envelope her.

"Next weekend my dads are going away to celebrate the anniversary of their commitment to each other. They'll be gone Friday night through Sunday afternoon. My question is, would you like to come over on Saturday?"

A huge grin spread across Puck's face. "Hell yeah!" That sounded like the best thing ever—just what he needed. And the fact that she was the one taking charge? Awesome. He knew he was right about her. "You don't know how much this weekend has sucked because I didn't get to see you."

Rachel's stomach fluttered again. "Really?"

"Fuck yeah. The things I've been thinking kept me walkin' around half-hard this whole time—which is pretty awful when you're visiting your Nana for her birthday."

Rachel laughed. "Oh, Noah, that's great!" She was so amused, but so overwhelmingly relieved.

"Great? Hardly," he scoffed. "But you know what I did to take care of it?" he asked suggestively.

It took Rachel's breath away to hear that gravelly voice through the phone. "What?" she whispered (completely unnecessarily considering she was alone in her room).

"I thought about you in those little white panties—that night—so fuckin' hot."

She stunned to silence for a moment. Finally she said, "You must not be visiting your Nana right now."

"Nope. I'm in my room. Thinking about you."

If it weren't biologically impossible, Rachel would have sworn that her heart stopped beating then restarted faster than ever. Her throat was dry and she felt heat spreading…everywhere. "I'm in my room too…thinking about you. I can't wait for this weekend."

Puck knew he hit the jackpot. Her voice was all sexified, and he was positive they were about to talk dirty—because she was obviously primed and ready and he could be very persuasive. He reached over to lock his bedroom door and settled back into his bed.

Seriously, it's like life was sneaking up on him and finally started getting good after all the shit he's been through lately. What lottery did he fucking win?

Well, he wasn't gonna waste time questioning it. He was gonna lay back and enjoy the ride.

…

**A.N. ** Quick shout-out:** AliceCullenForever101** wanted Rachel to email Shelby her feelings (from ch 4), so I gave you the next best thing I hope, with more to come.

Thanks everyone for getting through the experiment of breaking up a long chapter into a mature chapter and this more plot-based chapter! I hope what's next won't disappoint!


	8. Phase Two, What Do We Do?

**Ch. 8. Phase Two, What Do We Do?**

**A.N. **I'm putting out an apology announcement to those who had some issues with the previous chapter. There were reasons for my choices with Rachel not sending her email to Shelby and for Kurt getting upset at Rachel for her interruption. If you'll stick with me those reasons will become clear, as they go beyond this chapter. (And for anyone who can't wait, message me and I'll spoil it for you.) You've all been very kind about your concerns, and this is just more reassurance on my part to include those who don't actually leave reviews but may be thinking the same things.

**Notice:** This chapter is a mix of plot and smut, so smut-avoiders look out at the beginning and toward the end of the chapter.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own glee or anything familiar.

…

"What are you wearing, baby?" Puck growled into the phone.

She started answering automatically before realizing where this was bound to go. "I'm in a pink tank top and pink and white shorts. They're…my pajamas."

"Lock your door."

"W-what?"

"Lock your door, Rachel. And take off your clothes."

She locked her door but she wasn't about to strip for him—over the phone. Ridiculous. He must have been psychic (or just paying attention to the sounds through the phone) because he called her on it.

"Work with me here, B. I'm desperate for you. Talking about it is all I've got right now."

Her heart melted a little at the idea that he wanted her so badly. She knew he probably had some type of pornography he could turn to, but instead he chose her. That's why she decided to indulge him.

"Ok, hold on," she said nervously. She peeled off her tank top (she wasn't wearing a bra), and crawled into bed in her panties. "I'm topless and under the covers."

"Fuck, I wanna be there so bad. I'd be all over those boobs—they're so fuckin' perfect. I'd be there so long you'd have a hickey," he promised. He was hard, but he realized that he wasn't describing anything she could actually do to herself and imagine him there—which he was positive she would want. It sucked that he couldn't talk full-on sex with her since she didn't have the experience yet, but she at least knew the basics from Phase One. So he switched gears.

"Rachel, I want you to do what I say," he said smoothly. "Close your eyes. I'm coming over."

"You are?"

"No, but you need to imagine I'm there," he explained patiently—because they were gonna get this right, dammit. "You need to touch yourself and know that it's me. You need to tell me what you're doing and what you want to do to me."

She was pretty bad at it; as he should've expected, she was awkward as hell. But when she started to get it right, she was awesome. Plus he could imagine her without too much description anyway. But the thought that she was actually laying there, touching herself, for him—that was enough to get him off without too much extra.

Rachel was slightly uncomfortable with the whole thing. She never really did _this_—alone she might do a little but she wouldn't do what it took for as long as it took to…orgasm. That was something that she only experienced when he was there with her. She really wished he was there. But she tried to imagine that it was him, and when she heard him say her name, she worked herself harder. By the time he said, "Rachel…I'm…coming," she found herself shaking and moaning his name.

When Rachel hung up her phone after saying quiet goodnights, she couldn't believe what she had just done.

Phone sex? _Really_?

Apparently, yes. She would have _never_ done something like that with Finn. But he never would have asked. Noah, on the other hand, asked and instructed. And for whatever reason, she felt compelled to do what he asked.

She thought she probably knew the reason, but admitting it now (even to herself) was far too dangerous.

…

She hoped she wouldn't behave differently around Noah at school as their activities were growing…dirtier. She probably blushed more than she should, but nobody seemed to notice. And she had a few other things to occupy her mind. At her first opportunity on Monday Rachel tried to smooth things over with Kurt—without being too pushy. It was a fine line that sometimes she had a tendency to cross (friendly concern versus annoyingly insistent).

She managed to sit next to him in glee, and she was able to whisper to him without attracting too much attention.

"About the Skype incident," she started. She saw him stiffen, but she continued. "I will not judge. I'll be here for you if you ever want to talk. I promise."

Then she pulled away, hoping he'd say something.

He didn't say anything, but he gave a half-smile and nodded.

She smiled softly back. A little progress perhaps, she thought. She'd take it and build on it. If there is one thing to be said for Rachel Berry, she was persistent.

Another Monday was ending, and Rachel was ready to head home from school after glee rehearsal when she got a text…from Noah. He was reminding her to meet him at 7 that night. He wanted to practice an audition piece for her.

She tried to hold back her smile.

…

A few hours later, Rachel was at the Puckerman house. Sarah answered the door and sent Rachel up to her brother's room.

She walked upstairs and knocked on the door frame, hesitant to interrupt. He was sitting on his bed, guitar in hand, with a music stand—yes a music stand—set up in front of him.

He looked up and smiled apologetically. "Sorry, I'll be ready in a minute. I broke a string. I just need to finish restringing and tuning my guitar." He had his tuner out and was working meticulously with the strings.

He looked slightly flustered…and utterly endearing.

"No problem," she smiled. "I'll just check my email while I wait."

"Oh, hey, did you ever use that email address I gave you?" he asked casually.

"What email address?"

"You know…for Shelby."

Her throat tightened. "Oh. No, I have not…Why do you ask?"

Puck didn't want to say the real reason and risk pissing her off before he heard her opinion on his guitar piece. And the real reason was that he figured he'd stop by Shelby's to see Beth when they were auditioning in Cleveland so he was hoping it wouldn't be too fucked up to bring Rachel along…since he kinda suggested they should go to their auditions together before he realized how screwed up that could really be. At the time it just seemed like it would be reassuring to have someone he knew going with him for the auditions 'cause it was kind of a big deal. So he told _mostly_ the truth to answer her question.

"I was thinking about the last few times I visited Beth. And Shelby always asks about you. I figured if you ever just start emailing her, we could cut out the middle man, that's me. Then I don't have to keep telling her how you're doing."

Rachel's mouth dropped open—very unladylike. She snapped it shut, but was still speechless.

Puck looked at her expectantly—waiting for her to say something. She finally did.

"Really? She asks about me? _You_ talk to her about _me_?"

"Yeah, I mean nothing too personal or anything," he said quickly. "But that's how I first got her to agree to let me see Beth—mentioning you."

Rachel's eyes widened and started burning with threatening tears. "You never told me that," she said quietly.

"I know…'cause you got all weepy-looking when I tried to give you her cell number…kinda like you are now…Don't forget the crying rule," he reminded. He hated seeing her all sad-eyed. It kinda made his chest hurt and that shit wasn't cool.

Her eyes hardened and the tears shining there seemed to dry instantly with a few rapid-fire blinks.

"I am _not_ going to cry! And I'm not going to start emailing Shelby Corcoran updates about my life just to make your visits easier! _She_ left _me_! _She_ should contact _me_!"

"You're both so stubborn," he marveled.

"I am not stubborn," she protested.

He raised his eyebrow.

"I prefer to think of myself as persistent in my beliefs—which is much more desirable than stubborn."

"Yeah, like I said, stubborn."

"I could say the same for you!"

"Yeah, you could," he shrugged. "I'll own it," he said smugly.

She couldn't help but smile—just a little. "Fine, we're all stubborn."

"That's more like it. I like being right," he grinned.

She scowled. "Everyone likes being right."

"Yep. We all have that in common too. Now with Shelby, while I think you're in the right here—she should totally make the first move since she's the one who bolted—I'm pretty sure that's also why she's too scared to do it. So that's why_ you_ should."

"What if I don't want her in my life?" she asked nervously.

"Do whatever you want, I guess; but if it were me, I'd still email her. You could always tell her that—that you don't want to be in her life and why. It'll make you feel better either way. But like I said, she likes hearing about you, so if you want me to stop telling her stuff, just let me know."

Rachel still couldn't believe there were real occurrences when Noah Puckerman spoke to Shelby Corcoran about her. She pictured them drinking tea (which was absurd) at Shelby's kitchen table, with Beth playing in the background. Surreal. But she couldn't shake the thought that Shelby was actually interested in her life.

Finally she said, "It's ok; you don't have to censor yourself. I might just send her an email after all."

Puck nodded. "Cool. Let me know how it goes…if you want." He hoped Rachel wouldn't cut Shelby out of her life over email—that would make it kinda hard for him to stop by with her after their auditions. But he'd have to wait to find out about that. For now, he felt kinda proud that Rachel Berry was taking his advice—on normal stuff instead of sex stuff. Who would've thought he'd be good for more than just sex?

He cleared his throat. "Well, I really need to focus on getting my guitar back in shape, so…"

"Oh, are you implying that I've been distracting you?"

"Uh, I guess. I'm not very good at talking and concentrating at the same time…"

She gave a small smile and nod. "I'm opening my laptop now. I won't distract you. Just tell me when you're ready."

"Thanks."

Rachel wasn't sure how to bide her time, but one idea came to mind. She wrote another email draft to Shelby.

_Dear Ms. Corcoran,_

_It has come to my attention through my friend Noah Puckerman that there may be a chance for us to have some type of contact. I would be open to establishing a safe form of initial communication, such as occasional emails, if you would be interested. I am still very hurt by your methods of seeking me out only to abandon me; but you are still my biological mother, and I confess I am interested in seemingly trivial things like family history and if some of my habits may have been maternally inherited. I believe there are things we could learn from each other and I am making one last overture._

_If you do not wish to establish contact, I will not bother you again._

_Rachel Berry_

Puck interrupted her proof-reading. "Well, I've definitely finished tuning, so maybe I'll start now," he said.

Startled, instead of Save, Rachel pressed Send.

She nearly gasped when she realized what she had done. But the error was made. The email was on its way to her biological mother.

"If that's cool with you," he finished, seeing that she didn't look up from her computer.

"Please," she smiled, setting her laptop down and making herself comfortable at the head of his the bed. She thought it would take considerable effort on her part to stop thinking about her email mistake and concentrate on Noah's guitar piece.

She was wrong.

He began playing, fingers flying as he plucked the strings in the classical style. He didn't look at her at all; he was focused solely on the sheet music in front of him. Rachel was completely amazed. She watched him in profile as his brow furrowed in concentration while his hands moved seemingly effortlessly. She never knew he could play like _that_. To be honest, she had always thought he was talented in a more average way—if that makes sense. She thought that the combination of his looks, bad boy personality, and his sexy rough voice were all necessary parts of the package for Noah Puckerman to be seen as a compelling performer.

Shallow and overly-critical? Perhaps. Over-compensating and trying to make herself feel special among her classmates? Probably. But now she knew she had been wrong. Even if she closed her eyes to block out his chiseled physique and movie-star face (not that she wanted to miss a minute by closing her eyes, but _if_ she had), she would still know that she was in the presence of a true musician. She was honestly in awe.

He finished the piece and set his guitar aside on its stand. "So tell me straight up, what'd ya think? Did I completely make a suck-fest outta Fernando Sor?"

The combination of his boyish language, classical composer's name, and the look on his face as he sought her approval…they were all too much for Rachel. She jumped up with a giggle she couldn't suppress, met him at the end of his bed, and flung her arms around his neck.

"Noah, that was amazing!"

He chuckled and pulled her into his lap. "Really? You're not saying that 'cause you're biased, are you?"

"No! Of course not! I'm taking this very seriously!"

He laughed again. "Well, then thanks, B. I appreciate it. That's huge coming from you."

"I have the best idea! So you'll believe me, and to help you, we can record your practices! Just like I record for myspace! Well, we don't need to do video, just audio, unless you want video," she gestured animatedly before hurrying to set up her laptop to record. "Do you want to play again?"

He grinned at her enthusiasm. It was fan-fucking-tastic, and he was feeling pretty stoked and playful. "So you still post myspace videos, huh?" he teased.

"Well, not as often as I used to at the start of sophomore year—the derogatory comments and vitriol deterred me somewhat—then I got caught up in the drama of dating and such things, so my posting frequency was reduced."

He half-frowned at her words. "What'd you say? I lost you from deroga-what?"

Rachel blushed. "The derogatory comments…you know, the mean things that Quinn and the Cheerios would post about me…" She felt really embarrassed and small. "L-like that I should be sterilized…" She tried to hide her face by looking down and letting her hair fall forward.

"Jealous bitches," he muttered. "Sorry, Rachel."

"You don't have to apologize. It's not your fault."

"Yeah, well, it's Quinn, so…I dunno. I just…I was giant douchenozzle back then and didn't help—made things worse I guess."

She didn't argue with him because he did make things worse for her then. "But that's all in the past," she said with forced brightness. "And now we're seniors preparing for college. So let's look forward not backward, right?"

"Right," he nodded with a crooked smile. "Thanks for being so cool, B."

"It's one of my natural talents that most people overlook," she said with mock smugness.

He shook his head and chuckled. "Yeah, I guess they do. They just don't take the chance to get to know you."

"Not like you do," she agreed with a smile and twinge of sadness.

"Yeah," he grinned. "I'm kinda glad—it means I get you all to myself."

She blushed again and wished he'd take his own advice. Instead, she said something that surprised her. "Don't be so sure."

It surprised Puck too.

He quirked his eyebrow. "What's that supposed to mean? I thought we had an agreement," he scowled.

"Oh, no, that's not what I mean," she assured him. "I'm saying that you might not be the only one to realize that I'm cool—I don't mean that…" she searched for the right words that didn't say more than they should. "I mean that I am honoring our agreement in every sense."

His face relaxed. "So you're saying you're not pulling this same kinda thing with some other sex-stud?"

She rolled her eyes. "Yes, that's what I'm saying. You're the only sex-stud for me," she mocked. Even though she meant it too.

He smirked. "Yeah, I knew that. I just wanted to hear you say it."

"I don't believe you," she teased back. "You were worried," she pointed her finger into his chest. "Because you really do want me to yourself."

He grabbed her hand then pulled her back onto his lap. "Can't blame me for that," he said in a low voice before going in for the kiss.

Rachel was 95% certain that she was going to die of happiness and heartache in her next breath.

She was 100% wrong of course. She lived through him deftly laying her down on his bed, climbing on top of her, kissing her senseless, and then stopping when he thought he heard his sister on the stairs.

"We should probably save this for this weekend," he sighed as he rolled off of her.

She nodded. "Ok. We can record your performance next time."

"Record my performance?" he smirked.

"Your guitar performance, you pervert!" she exclaimed, pretending to be more offended than she really was.

"Oh, that," he grinned and kissed her softly. "Next time."

Rachel practically floated past Sarah on her way to her car.

…

On Tuesday Mr. Schue said Rachel's performance of Elphaba's parts of _Defying Gravity_ was 'spine-chilling' and 'off-the-charts good'—and she was on top of the world.

For a while.

…

Rachel was more than ready to record Noah's audition piece on Wednesday evening. She even brought the sign she normally posted outside her own door when she was making her myspace videos—the sign warning that a recording was in progress. She also warned Sarah that she'd be recording her brother playing guitar, so she should either come in and watch quietly or make sure not to disturb them.

Sarah thought the 'do not disturb' sign was one heck of a giveaway that there was more than guitar playing going on, so she opted to join in just to bug them.

But Puck said he wasn't ready for an audience—he wanted it to be perfect first. So an annoyed Sarah left the room and stared at the stupid sign on the door. But she listened—and he really was playing! And it was definitely not a recording set up to trick her.

But when the yelling started, Sarah slunk away.

…

Rachel was once again floored by Noah's skill on the guitar. This song was different than Monday's. It was so hauntingly beautiful and he looked so intense (and gorgeous) while playing it.

But then he flubbed a chord and stopped abruptly. "Fuck!" he swore.

Rachel stood and placed her hands on his shoulders to calm him. "Relax, Noah, _it's just me_," she told him.

He shrugged sheepishly. "Thanks, B. It's just—I want it to be perfect."

"It will be," she assured him. "Auditions are over a month away. You'll keep practicing with me, getting so comfortable that you'll have it memorized; and there will be no way you'll let the panel fluster you."

He looked skeptical but nodded. "I guess I'll start over—if that's cool with you."

"Yes, it's cool with me," she smiled as she sat back down. "I have to ask—it's such a beautiful piece—who is the composer?"

He flushed slightly. "Uh, thanks. It's me."

"What!" she leaped from his bed and threw her arms around him in a hug before breaking away, embarrassed that she kept having these uncontrollable outbursts around him. "You wrote that? In a matter of weeks after learning about the auditions? That's unbelievable!"

"Hey, I don't lie about this shit," he grumbled, taken aback by her reaction. (And completely misinterpreting it.)

"No! Of course not! That's not what I'm saying at all!"

Puck was feeling defensive and jumped in before she could explain. "It's been awhile, but after my fuck-up dad left us, I asked for guitar lessons—to finish what he started. The teacher made me learn some classical too. And once I started playing for the auditions, it started coming back."

She nodded sympathetically.

It pissed him off. He didn't need her pity. He sat there sullenly, waiting for whatever sappy thing she was gonna say next.

"I am in no way doubting that you actually composed that song. I'm trying to give you a compliment regarding the caliber of your work! I'm so glad I was recording this. I'm glad that the tragedy of your father leaving your family could spark something good." She was talking a mile a minute—zipping around his room like a crazed fairy—going from the bed, to her computer, back to him. "Noah, don't you understand? I'm telling you that you have an amazing talent, and I'm completely overwhelmed and thrilled for you! You need to go to a school with a music theory program—where they teach music composition and address songwriting not just performing! Case Western is not the right school for you at all! You need to come with me to New York!"

"Chill, Berry!" he shouted over her, setting his guitar on its stand and grabbing her upper arms to stop her buzzing around. "Listen to me. I'm not going anywhere else."

"But with Case you're not even really saving money on tuition by being an in-state student! It's not like Ohio State-Lima! I don't understand! You're too talented to waste it!" she protested. But as she was shouting at him and struggling to free herself from his grasp, she started to realize. "Oh, it's because of Beth, isn't it?" she asked slowly. "Cleveland is closer to Carmel while New York is much farther."

Puck nodded and let her go. He forgot he hadn't told Rachel that Shelby moved to Cleveland from Carmel after she quit directing Vocal Adrenaline. Based on the way she reacted to talking about Shelby earlier, he figured it would be better (for him) if he didn't tell her.

Rachel composed herself and resumed the role of an audition consultant. "Well, then I won't continue to point out the mistake you're making. It's your life, Noah Puckerman. I was just caught up in the idea that you wanted more out of it. I will continue to help you with your audition if that is what you would like, but I should suggest that you check the audition requirements again. For Case, they might prefer non-original songs so that they can judge the accuracy better."

Puck could see the disappointment in her eyes; hear it in her voice. He hated that. Especially because she had looked so proud and excited only moments before. He couldn't deal with it. It's like she was calling him a Lima Loser except in fancier words than Quinn used. And it was the worst feeling ever. He should be used to it of course, but it still made it feel like the shit was just kicked out of him.

"Yeah, ok. Maybe I'll figure something out and check back in with you later," he said gruffly. "See ya at glee or whatever," he finished dismissively.

Rachel took her cue to leave. She understood why he didn't walk her to the door this time. She knew he was upset at her, but she couldn't help it—she was upset with him too.

"The recording is over, Sarah," she said on her way out. "Feel free to interrupt Noah as much as you want."

"Hey, wait, Rachel!" Sarah scrambled to meet her at the door—a first. "What's going on with Noah? Are you in a fight? Are you gonna keep helping him get into music school?"

Rachel gave a pained smile. "We are having an argument, yes, Sarah. But I will still honor my…commitments to him—and that includes helping him with his audition for as long as he wants my help. So don't worry, sweetie, everything will be fine."

"Promise?"

"I promise."

"Ok, I trust you. Bye, Rachel."

"Bye, Sarah."

…

Rachel did an exceptional job of ignoring Noah all day Thursday. And he ignored her right back. But on Friday, she was regretting her actions. And she hated that she couldn't stop herself from catching him at his locker to ask him the dreaded question.

"Are you still…coming over on Saturday?"

"Fuck yeah, why wouldn't I? Hell, I'm already planning to be in your bed as soon as your pops are out the door."

She couldn't hide her surprise. "Well, you and I had a bit of an argument the other day, so I wasn't sure…"

"Shit, B, you need to learn to…what's the word where you divide stuff up?"

"Compartmentalize?"

"Yeah, compartmentalize. That was audition stuff. The fringe or whatever you called it. There's no way in hell I'd let that stop me from being alone with you this weekend. I've been looking forward to this all week!"

He wasn't lying. He showed up at her house shortly after she texted him to say her dads were gone for their trip. They went straight to her bedroom. It was his first time there this year, but obviously not the first time ever.

"Back to where it all began," he smirked, bouncing her bedsprings suggestively.

"Oh, please," she rolled her eyes. "We've only ever made out on this bed. _Your_ bed is the dirty one."

"Not for long," he leered at her. "So, where were we?" he teased. "Phase…"

"Two," she finished. "It's already October, and we still haven't passed Phase Two."

He nodded with a gleam in his eye. "You're so impatient. I like it. And now, for Phase Two, we'll have a two-night event." He held up two fingers. "And you know what's on the schedule?"

She shook her head no.

He brought his fingers together and made a graphic and lewd gesture.

Rachel gasped. "What? No! Oh, Noah, I don't know…"

"Hey, it's Phase Two," he shrugged. "You've had one, now it's time to move up to two." He gestured to his crotch. "You remember what this looks like, don't you? And where it's supposed to go? That's why you've gotta get prepared with Phase Two."

She bit her lip nervously.

"Ok?" he asked her.

"Ok…I suppose your logic is sound…"

"Don't worry, if you tell me to stop, I'll stop. I don't wanna hurt you, baby."

"I know you don't, Noah," she confirmed. But it doesn't mean you won't, she thought.

"I mean it, Rachel," he searched her eyes. "You believe me, right?"

"I trust you," she said. It was the truth.

He could tell.

He let out a relieved sigh. "Good. I promise I'll make it so good for you. We have two nights, and I think you're gonna lose your shit."

"Is that a metaphor I hope?"

"Yeah, of course it is. Ok, we clearly need to get you loosened up a little first. You're so tense…Wanna make out?"

"Sure," she grinned. It was like they had their own thing. In that moment, right then, she knew.

She loved him. It wasn't just a hastily written and emotion-laden email outburst. She loved Noah Puckerman.

But saying it was clearly against the rules.

And that night she just fell in love even more. They spent the whole night making out because every time he started to move to Phase Two, Rachel froze, and he could tell.

"It's ok; I've got time, baby," he told her. "This is about getting _you_ ready."

They finally slowed down on making out; both of them exhausted. Puck was too tired to even beg for some action on his cock—and that's fucking tired.

But Rachel found that she couldn't fall asleep. She reached out to her nightstand to grab her journal. She had an electronic version too, but she kept a journal and a pen near her bed for any night-time brainstorms for music, choreography, inspirational thoughts for her first autobiographical memoirs, etc. _Living Legend Rachel Berry: The Early Years_. It was a working title.

But her journal had been a trusted companion for years, and she found it did its job tonight. This time she opened the bookmarked page, and in the dark she wrote:

_I love you, Noah Puckerman. 10/05/2012_

He rolled over in his sleep as she was getting back into position in bed. She nestled in behind him, pushing her knees gently into the backs of his knees. He mumbled something like, "hey, baby," before returning to his deep, even breathing.

She sighed, kissed his shoulder blade, and drifted off to sleep.

The next morning, Rachel was surprised to find that he hadn't left. He brought a duffle bag, but she hadn't really expected him to still be there…in her bed…_snuggling_.

His arm was draped over her and she could feel his weight on her—it was just a little too heavy to be perfectly comfortable, but not so uncomfortable that she wanted to move. She wanted to savor the moment in sleepy bliss. After a few minutes, his hand skimmed across her hip, waist, and stopped to cup her breast.

She decided he was most definitely awake.

And so was she. She suddenly panicked—she was certain to be a frightful mess! She should have taken advantage of when he was sleeping to freshen up!

"Morning," he murmured into her hair, his hand still comfortably in place.

"Good morning," she replied in her position as the 'little spoon'. "Are you hungry for breakfast? Do you need to leave right away?"

"Nah, I don't need to leave. I told Mom I'm staying with Rutherford for the weekend."

"Matt Rutherford?"

"Yeah, he moved to Akron—too far for Mom to check up on me, and if she calls, Matt's got it covered. So I'm all yours." He grinned and turned her toward him.

"Very sneaky," she replied with her head on his chest. She was glad he still had his eyes closed.

He stretched lazily in her bed, finally freeing her to get up. Of course, she was completely naked and light was streaming through her curtains. She was comfortable with her body—but maybe not sunlight-the-morning-after-spending-the-night-in-the-same-bed comfortable. From her place under the covers, she could reach his t-shirt so she put that on before she stepped out of bed.

"I'm just going to freshen up, so let me know if you'd like breakfast when I come back."

He peered at her with one eye open. "I know what I want to eat, but maybe I should have a proper breakfast first."

She crinkled her nose in disgust. "Ew."

He chuckled as he watched her march into her bathroom wearing his shirt—sexy as hell.

And she was gonna make him breakfast? Score!

Wait—she was veg-head, so breakfast probably means dry toast, cereal with fake milk, or some other fruity shit—no meat, no eggs, No Way.

"Wanna go out to pick up breakfast instead?" he called into the bathroom.

"Together?" she squeaked.

"Oh, shit, you're right. Bad move. Nice catch, B. Well, let's see whatcha got before I go pick up something."

"French toast?" she suggested.

"Really? But it's gotta be weird-substitute-version, right?"

"Just try it. If you don't like it, you can go to McDonald's."

He shrugged and agreed. "Should I shower while you make it?"

"Oh, if you'd like, sure."

"Well, I've got all day and all night, baby," he smirked. "But I figured I'd be clean and ready in case you get so horny you can't keep your hands off me after you make my breakfast."

She tried to be angry at his sexist remark. She really tried.

She couldn't hold the disgusted look on her face long enough though—he saw right through her.

He laughed. "You know you love it. Be back in five," he announced as he bounded out of her bed and into her bathroom.

Rachel hadn't showered yet of course, and she decided as long as she put on a bit more than just his t-shirt, she would be in fine shape to make breakfast, re-brush her teeth, and get in the shower after she cleaned up the kitchen.

So that was her plan.

She managed to do some of that before Phase Two started.

…

The French toast wasn't bad at all—not like blow-you-away-rich, but miles better than the greasy shit he could pick up at a drive-thru. So Puck was in a pretty good mood, considering the blue balls he suffered through last night.

But that's because he got to wake up with her next to him—that fit body—and he knew today was gonna be different. He had until Sunday morning—and he intended to get them both off—multiple times.

So when Rachel started rinsing the dishes in the sink, he decided that shit just seemed like a waste of time. Especially when she was standing there in his shirt, some tiny shorts he could barely see, and these fuzzy slipper-sock things.

He crept up behind her from his spot lounging on the couch and wrapped his arms around her waist. "I don't think you have to spend so much time washing the dishes before you put them in the dishwasher to wash the dishes," he growled into her ear.

She shivered and set the plate down into the sink. "Then let me just get ready, and I'll be right with you," she said nervously.

"Hey, we'll take it slow," he assured her. "It's only Phase Two. It's not like you're moving right up to the big leagues from t-ball."

She gave a strained smile. "Thanks. I won't be too long." She extracted herself from his arms and headed upstairs.

…

Puck watched her go and knew he had to come up with some way to get her to move past whatever was freaking her out so much.

He was smart enough not to interrupt her shower. She probably needed some _personal_ time, and besides, water would wash away her natural lube that would keep her feeling fine while he finger fucked her.

Yeah, he knew his shit when it came to sex.

And he was waiting patiently—kinda wishing he brought his guitar or something to do while he listened to the water from her shower. Yeah, he had his school shit, but no way in hell was he gonna be doing _homework_ when she finally came out of her bathroom. Fuck that. But when he heard the blow dryer start going, he was ready to interrupt her stalling. He knocked on the door but didn't wait for an answer before he opened it.

She was wrapped in a towel—it was somehow magically staying in place just so he could see the tops of her boobs and most of her legs. He almost yanked it off right then, but he stopped himself. She was holding onto a hairdryer, and that could be a dangerous weapon.

"Berry, what's taking so long? Am I making you nervous, or what?"

She bit her lip and decided to be honest. "I am nervous, yes."

Puck once again restrained himself from pulling off her towel as he brought her into a hug. "Hey, relax." And then he made a regrettable decision. "Do ya wanna talk about it?"

"Well…no, not really…"

Yes! He breathed an internal sigh of relief.

"It's just…"she continued.

Fuck.

She looked up at him anxiously. "I didn't think this through thoroughly. I'm afraid it's going to be painful, and that's something I'm more than willing to go through with a person who cares about me. But this situation is so unnatural—at least to me—that I'm not sure I can do it."

Puck paused as he processed what she said and considered his options. He was pretty sure she was asking him in her own crazy way if he cared about her. If he said no, he was definitely not getting any action this weekend (_at least_—there could be even longer-lasting consequences). But that was fine because he could say yes. And he wouldn't be lying either. He did care about her. But if he admitted that, would it make things worse? He didn't want her to think _care = love_. Then he realized that he was off the hook with the love stuff—it was in the rules. And she was all about the contract and following rules.

"You know I care about you, right, Rachel?"

She looked skeptical. "I know _I_ care about _you_, and I think you _might _care about me. But it's hard to tell, especially given our situation."

He nodded, struggling to come up with the right example. "Hey, you're right."

"I am?"

"I'm not finished. I mean you were right about the audition stuff…I looked on Case's website and they didn't say I should use original music. It makes sense that they wouldn't be able to judge me on that for performance. So I'm taking your advice. And I appreciate it. And I'm telling you because I care about you and I want you to know. I'm sorry I was an ass about it before."

Rachel thought for a few moments. Maybe that was good enough for now. "Thank you," she said quietly. Then she smiled. "I know how much you enjoy being right; so thank you for apologizing and admitting that I was right about your audition materials."

He smirked. "Aren't you just so smart?" he teased, taking the opportunity to tug at her towel.

"Noah!" she shrieked as the towel was yanked away from her—and she was left standing in overhead lighting in the middle of her bathroom.

"You won't be needing this," he announced as he tossed it aside.

She gave up on modesty and lowered her arms after instinctively covering her body with them briefly. She pressed herself against him, enjoying the warmth after the shock of being stripped of her towel.

"Then you won't need this either," she said as she pulled at his shirt.

"Fuck yeah, I won't!" He complied easily by removing his shirt, followed by his shorts. He wasted no time—starting to kiss her right away since that should help loosen her up.

It did.

Rachel turned off all of the nagging doubts and held onto her certainty. She knew she loved him. She knew she wanted their relationship to grow. She would face her fears of getting hurt and take the risks—emotional and physical.

He picked her up and set her on the bed, without breaking their kiss until the last moment as he smiled at her. He settled on top of her gently and went for her neck. "You smell so good, baby," he breathed into her ear. "You taste even better." He couldn't wait for Phase Three, but he figured he shouldn't mention that and risk freaking her out again.

"Mmm, Noah." She shifted beneath him and wrapped one leg around his hip.

Holy shit!

He had to adjust so he didn't accidently move up a few phases to straight-up sex. Shit. But he took her movement at a signal. He moved his hand from her boob to her clit, preparing her for what was coming next. She stiffened a little, but he knew what he could do to drive her crazy—in a good way. He gave her a deep kiss before turning his attention farther south. He loved those perfect little boobs. Her body was seriously tight—and he was seriously hard. He was grinding on her thigh, avoiding the danger zone—but he really wanted to just slip it in. So fucking bad.

She finally gripped him, but could only stroke the head since she was so much shorter than he was, and he was busy with his face in her tits. But not surprisingly, she started dripping wet once he started rocking his hips a bit to thrust into her hand. He reacted by easing his fingers insider her, leaving his thumb to work on the outside while the other two worked the inside—there—the G-spot.

She gasped. He couldn't tell if it was surprise, or pain, or both.

"Are you ok, baby?" he asked, slowing his movements but not withdrawing.

She nodded. "Yes, it's ok."

"I'll try to make it better than ok; just give me a little more time, alright?"

She nodded and pulled his face toward her so she could kiss him now that his lips had detatched themselves from her breasts. As if drawn by gravity, his left hand found its way to fondle her breast and he seemed to prop himself up with one knee so he wasn't pressing his full weight on her.

Kissing his amazing lips, the sensation of what he was doing with his hands—inside her and out—was too much. Too many sensations.

Or maybe just enough.

She moaned and shivered. She bit at his lip and tugged at his earlobe with her teeth. She felt like she might explode.

Puck was proud of himself, even if his hands were about to cramp up on him before she finally found her release.

…

And that was just Round One.

They had repeat performances with several variations throughout the day. After lunch. After dinner. After a late-night snack (for refueling). And again before he had to leave on Sunday morning.

It was probably the best no-sex weekend he'd ever had.

Rachel was sore by the end of it (requiring a step back to Phase One), but she was still sad to see him go.

Sunday she felt empty without him, so alone but so alive; like she was on the brink of this new knowledge—a new Rachel—just around the corner.

She couldn't wait until the next time they could be together.

…

At school Rachel felt like she was walking around carrying a huge secret. It was kind of delicious but it was also a burden.

She thought about the similarities between her relationship with Noah Puckerman and whatever Kurt had with Dave Karofsky. Even just having a friendship with a former bully made their situations similar. She was dying to tell Kurt just how similar they really were, but she decided her best move was to take it slow. She would be persistent (or stubborn) when it came to rebuilding their friendship.

But the next week when a moment arose for Rachel to express her friendship with Kurt, she took it.

And regretted it.

Before glee, she sat in front of Kurt and Mercedes and overheard Mercedes ask Kurt about Blaine and the difficulty of going to different schools.

"I really miss him," Kurt admitted. "We became such good friends."

"Friends?" Mercedes asked skeptically.

"Well, more than friends too, but I especially miss being able to talk to him as a friend about the kinds of things that nobody else could really understand."

Mercedes wasn't too happy with this answer, but she just nodded. However, she wasn't pleased at all when Rachel Berry turned around and stuck her nose into their conversation.

"Kurt, you know the door is always open at my house—if you ever want to talk to me and my dads about things."

"Thanks, Rachel," Kurt smiled patronizingly, "but I think the age gap between me and your dads will reduce their ability to be in touch with my situation."

"So why don't you turn back around and butt out?" Mercedes snapped, venting her frustrations.

Rachel gaped at her. "I was merely offering…"

She was interrupted by Santana jumping in. "Shut it, Yentl. Nobody wants to hear your big mouth."

Rachel caught Kurt's eye, but he just shrugged dismissively—he'd never defend her. Neither would Finn, who stood idly by his horrible girlfriend. She turned to Noah, who had defended her to the others before, but he gave her a helpless look before glancing away. She knew he wouldn't risk alienating Quinn by jumping to her aid anymore. Instead, she found help in a surprising place.

"Chill out, guys," Sam piped up. "Rachel doesn't deserve you ganging up on her. She's pretty cool."

Quinn glared at Sam, and then at Rachel; inspiring Puck to throw in an insult—a lame one, but it did the trick.

"_Cool_ if today's _opposite_ day."

Quinn giggled, lots of others smirked, so score for Puck. But Rachel looked like she was about to cry. She stood up and left the room.

Puck wanted to apologize. But he couldn't. He felt like shit.

Sam looked around at the class. "You guys, didn't we have this whole big thing about bullying last year? Don't you get it? It's not just about anti-gay-bashing," he finished with a hint of disgust.

A lot of them looked around uncomfortably, ashamed. Quinn tugged at his sleeve. "You're right, Sam. You're such a nice person. We shouldn't try to make Rachel's life miserable even if we find her annoying—it is our last year after all."

Now Puck felt even worse. He'd wanted to put himself in good with Quinn by throwing Rachel under the bus instead of defending her like Sam did—and all that got him was a label as the biggest bully—which suddenly wasn't cool anymore.

"I'll go after her," Puck volunteered.

Quinn looked up at him, surprised. "…Maybe I should go…" she said reluctantly, glancing at Sam for approval. "She's probably in the girls' room."

Puck shrugged but didn't stop. "Come with if you want, Q." He passed by Mr. Schue who was coming in to start class. That brought Quinn back to her seat.

"What's going on?" Will asked. "Where's Puck going?"

"He went after Rachel," Quinn explained. "Some people said some things to her, and he's going to apologize I think," she finished vaguely.

Will rolled his eyes at the drama that seemed to surround Rachel Berry. "Fine. We'll continue our Sectionals preparation without them for now."

…

Puck figured Rachel could be in one of a few places. Since glee was the last thing on Rachel's schedule for the day (yeah, he sorta knew her schedule), she could be heading home, and he'd already missed her. She could be at her locker gathering up her stuff to go home or on her way out to the parking lot if he hadn't missed her. Or she could be in the restroom like Quinn thought. He hoped that was the case, but he went to her locker first (yeah, he knew where it was). Seeing the hall empty, he made a dash to the parking lot to see if he could spot her on her way to her car—he saw her little car still parked (yeah, he recognized her car).

Now that he knew she was still around, he headed back toward the music room and into the nearest girls' restroom.

"Berry? Rachel, you in here?"

She took a deep breath and steeled herself for what she knew she had to do. She dried her eyes quickly and emerged from the stall. She pushed her way around him. "It's over."

"What?" He was shocked.

"You violated the terms of our agreement."

"What the fuck? How the fuck did I do that?"

"I asked to be respected in and out of school," she said in a clipped voice without turning to face him. "It's in the contract." She headed for the door.

Shit.

"That was just a joke. Please, Rachel," he pleaded. "Don't do this. It was just a stupid joke. I'm sorry, ok?" He grabbed her by the shoulders and looked into her eyes.

He looked so sincere, but she couldn't keep doing this. Now she had an out. She shook her head no. "It's not ok. _This_ isn't ok." Her eyes filled with tears again and one tear spilled over before she could get a hold of herself.

Puck reached up and wiped it away with his thumb. "Rachel, I'm sorry."

Her lower lip trembled as she gazed into his incredible eyes. She wanted to forgive him. But she didn't want to continue being hurled between misery and euphoria.

The door to the bathroom opened.

"Oh, sorry to interrupt," Sam said, backing out immediately.

Panic flooded Puck's face as he dropped his hand from Rachel's cheek and stepped backward.

He knew Sam would tell Quinn. Sam would tell everybody.

Shit.

"I'll be right back, ok?"

Rachel shrugged dismissively and looked away. She knew she wasn't going to wait for him. If he left now, she was walking out and driving home.

He left.

So did she.

…

**A.N.** It's a curve-ball, I know. Don't feel like this is torture—think of this as progress ;) And be happy you were all so right about those terms and conditions coming back in a big way! I'll try not to take too long with the next update!

So many of you **(e.g., acaudill0068, Bonesluver, kezztip , lovesreading, .account, Nova802, Stessa, sweetcaroline1986)** seemed to like Sam/Rachel, so I gave you a bit more, with more to come. Of course, you probably hate what I did as part of Sam standing up for Rachel, but maybe you'll like it better once you see where it goes…

I promise I'm not trying to take your suggestions to torment you! I hope you don't hate me, but let me know! Thanks everyone!


	9. Fallout

**Ch 9. Fallout**

**A.N.** They can't all be like chapter 8, but I hope you like the Fallout. The idea will be to build to 'crescendo' type chapters like ch 8 throughout the story ;)

Songs featured in this chapter can be found on my youtube channel by adding the following to the youtube address: /view_play_list?p=3E9FAE8793A2944C

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Glee, any songs mentioned, or anything familiar.

…

Puck went on to do damage control—to stop Sam from saying something stupid in front of Quinn and everyone else.

He was oblivious to Rachel doing her own damage control—by forcing down her emotions except for the ones that told her to stand up for herself and leave.

He made it back to the music room in time to hear Sam saying, "Yeah, I found her and-." Puck walked in and interrupted.

"Yeah, she was in the bathroom, like you thought, Q. She's still upset, so I think I'll offer to take her home, if that's ok." He looked at Schue but didn't actually wait for an answer before grabbing his bag.

Will cleared his throat. "I don't think so, Puck. I'm tired of the interruptions. Rachel can join us or leave, but I won't have the class disrupted over this. Sit down."

Puck flashed a dirty look but sat back down. When did Schue grow a pair? He figured Rachel might leave without him, so he'd have to work on his apology after glee. They got back to singing, but Puck couldn't help glancing at the door every now and then in hopes that Rachel would surprise him and walk back into glee.

She didn't.

The weird thing was that Sam seemed to be looking for her too. And Quinn took notice. As soon as the song ended, she couldn't keep quiet any longer.

"What is it with Rachel Berry?" she burst out at Sam. "Why do you keep looking for her? She's not coming back!"

"Alright, settle down, Quinn," Will told her. Then grudgingly he asked the class, "Do you think I should check on her?"

"Well, you _are_ the teacher," Sam pointed out. "And she _was_ crying." He gave Puck an accusatory glance, but Puck ignored him.

"Fine," Will sighed. "If I'm not back in five minutes, consider yourselves dismissed. But we'll have a lot of catching up to do for Sectionals."

As soon as Mr. Schue left, Quinn turned to Sam. "Why are you always defending Rachel Berry? You never defend me!"

"What?" He was stunned. "But you don't have any attackers," he said soothingly as he put his arm around her. "You're like the most popular girl in school."

"That wasn't always the case," she said sharply.

"Hey, you know that was before I moved here. I promise you that if I had been here, I would have defended you no matter what." He stroked her hair and tried to calm her down.

Quinn wasn't so sure if that would have been true, but she decided it was better not to bring up the details of what she had done her sophomore year. It was best that Sam was removed from that whole situation.

Now Puck on the other hand, thought it would be a great opportunity to bring up the past.

"You know _I_ was there for you then, Quinn—you just wouldn't let me be."

Finn clenched his fists but didn't say anything.

"You were there for me?" Quinn asked incredulously. "You went from serenading Rachel Berry one minute to sexting with Santana the next! You never did anything thoughtful and public for me like you did for Rachel!" Her anger flared as she thought about the way that she always seemed to lose when it came to Rachel. Finn and Puck both gravitated toward her in some insane way, and she was afraid Sam was going in the same direction.

"Hey, that's not true!" Puck argued. "I sang _Beth_ for you!"

"That was for our baby, and we both know it!" she bit out, surprised at the emotions she was feeling. Quinn continued resentfully. "If I had to guess, I'd say that you only stepped up with me out of obligation. But I think secretly you've always liked Rachel Berry. Why else would you two keep getting together?"

"_Please_, Rachel was only using me," Puck shrugged. It was true, even if it sucked. "I'm easy on the eyes," he smirked, "so it's cool with me if the ladies use me as long as I get something in return."

"That doesn't sound like Rachel," Sam said skeptically.

Quinn glared at him.

"Just sayin'," he shrugged back.

Puck defended his statement. "_And I'm just sayin'_ every time we were together or whatever, she was doing it to get back at Finn. Even after I picked glee over football," he mumbled.

Finn's eye twitched at that phrase, and Santana raised her eyebrow as the wheels started turning in her head. She had some things to keep an eye on, but she decided to keep it to herself until she could figure out what in this situation could be used to her advantage.

Kurt didn't keep quiet. "So Noah Puckerman was rejected by Rachel Berry back in the Baby-Gate days?" he laughed. He was going to have to congratulate her—once he worked up the nerve to talk to her again.

"Whatever, Hummel," he said dismissively. He was relieved that everyone was still associating this with the past and that Sam didn't flap his giant mouth about what he just saw. He continued to cover for his rep. "We were just in it for the physical. Little known fact: she's actually a fine piece of ass," he smirked.

Finn cleared his throat and finally spoke up. "I'm not sure we should be talking like this about Rachel…" he said weakly.

"Finn's right," Sam agreed.

"You've got to be kidding," Quinn muttered. Then she realized Puck's contradiction. "Wait, you told me that Rachel's a virgin. Now you're acting like you two were doing it."

"I said Berry's a virgin, Q. I never said we didn't fool around and almost get there. Know what I'm sayin'?" Puck raised his hand in a high five for Artie.

Artie shrugged and returned the five. For once, he actually did know what Puck was sayin'.

Quinn glared at them. "Then why is Rachel the lucky one who got away with not having sex with you?"

"I wouldn't call that lucky—I'd call it the opposite; but I guess it's because she never said yes like you did, Q," he leered at her suggestively. Take that Sam! Heh.

Sam jumped out of his chair, realizing he had a chance to defend Quinn—even if what Puck said was true and stung a bit. "Hey, man, you're outta line. Stop being such a dick, ok? Leave Quinn alone."

"Or else what?" Puck asked from his chair, unimpressed.

"Or else I'll kick your ass," Sam threatened through gritted teeth.

Puck rolled his eyes—he knew he could wipe the floor with that little fuckface, but he decided to take a different route. This was due in part to the sound of Mr. Schue's loafers squeaking down the hall. "It's cool, I apologize. In fact, I'll even sing an apology song to Quinn tomorrow." He grinned at the ingenious plan forming in his brain.

"Whatever, dude," Sam said, sitting back down as Mr. Schue walked into the room.

Before anyone could say anything, Mr. Schue confirmed it. "I couldn't find Rachel. She must have left. Sorry for the interruption. Let's run through the song one more time before you head home."

Puck was kinda concerned since he never had the chance to talk to Rachel to explain. He figured she waited for him and left after awhile instead of coming back to glee.

He had no idea that she didn't even wait.

…

Puck stopped Artie before football practice as his song idea was forming. "Wanna help me out on a song for tomorrow?"

"What do you have in mind?"

After hearing what Puck had to say, Artie was intrigued. They started preparing right after football. That meant Puck was really late getting home that night. He almost forgot he needed to smooth things over with Rachel.

He called her, but she wouldn't answer. He texted; he emailed, everything.

Sure, his messages mostly just said shit like "Let's talk," and "Please talk to me," "I'm sorry," and "This isn't over."

He realized that last one sounded like a threat but he didn't care. He was kinda pissed too. It wasn't fair that she walked out on their deal just when it was getting good. He had too much planned for her to back out now. He wasn't ready to let her leave him like that—not without a fight.

…

Rachel surprised herself by successfully ignoring all of his attempts to reach her. Each time she fought with herself to keep from answering him. But she had made the right choice, she reassured herself (over and over). If she talked to him, she was certain he'd find a way to talk her into forgiving him. And that was something she wasn't ready to do. Not when she couldn't control her feelings for him. Why did he make it seem so much like he cared about her? And why did she let herself believe what she felt instead of what he said? He literally told her that he wanted Quinn, but no, Rachel Berry thought he was getting over the perfect blonde beauty because of the way he acted when they were alone.

She was better than this. She couldn't let herself fall in love with a boy who was so completely into someone else. Not again.

…

Friday Rachel was prepared to devote special attention to avoiding Noah, but she didn't have to work too hard. He wasn't in the usual places she would see him between classes in passing. But surprisingly, Finn approached her at her locker before lunch. They hadn't really talked much since she broke up with him, and every encounter they had was slightly awkward.

"So, Rachel…I was wondering…" Finn fumbled.

"Yes, Finn?"

"Is there something up with you and Puck?"

"Why do you ask?" She tried to remain calm.

"Well, Sam told me…what he saw, so…"

Rachel furrowed her brow in puzzlement. "Sam told you…? I didn't realize you two were such close friends."

"Yeah, I know it's kinda weird. He sorta replaced Puck as my go-to-guy, you know? Even though he's been dating Quinn, he never did anything behind my back. Not like Puck." Finn finished with a dark look directed internally, almost like he was talking to himself and forgot Rachel was there.

"Well, I'm not sure what Sam told you, but Puck was trying to apologize to me when Sam walked in…Did Sam tell Quinn?"

Finn didn't stop to wonder why Rachel asked such a strange question. He just answered her. "No, that's why he talked to me. He wanted to know if I thought that finding out that you and Puck were…close…if that would make her jealous and want Puck back. He figured that Quinn has a thing about you—which she probably does—because of our history and stuff."

"So, you told him not to tell Quinn?"

"Yeah, I told him that it would probably be better to drop hints and stuff so he could figure out how she'd react first. Kinda sneaky I know, but it seemed…smart," he shrugged.

Rachel just nodded, at first finding it hard to believe that Finn could be so devious. And then she remembered all of his past devious actions and realized it wasn't unusual at all.

"I haven't told Santana either," Finn continued, "even though it seems wrong. But if I told her, she'd probably tell Quinn, so I have to wait until Sam's ready."

"Why are you telling me all of this, Finn?"

He paused, caught off guard. He tried to remember how the conversation got to this point. "Oh, remember? I figured I'd just ask you directly—you know, go to the source—the honest source, not Puck," he glowered. "I'm just asking you if there's something going on. If there's not, that's what I'll tell Sam. If there is, you can tell me what you want me to tell Sam, and I'll decide what to say."

Rachel considered her options, but her mind worked fast. "Finn, what Sam saw was me upset and angry at the class for being so rude—especially angry at Noah Puckerman. I believe that Puck was trying to seduce me into forgiving him, which I did not do. Feel free to relay that to Sam."

"Oh, that makes sense…sorta," Finn nodded but grimaced with concentration. "I'm glad you're not letting Puck get to you—this time." Another dark look crossed his face before he looked down at her with a smile. "Thanks for telling me, Rach."

"Thanks for asking, Finn," she smiled wanly. "Good luck with keeping this from Santana until the time is right."

Finn nodded vigorously. "Thanks, I'll need it."

He didn't know it was too late.

Santana overheard quite a bit of their exchange. She had been looking for Finn to go the cafeteria together, and catching his convo with Rachel irritated her. And when they didn't just say a few words and part ways, she decided to try to listen in without being noticed. It worked. As Finn jogged away from Rachel, Santana walked to catch up with him without drawing suspicion—which was easy because it was Finn.

"Running a little late for lunch today, aren't you, Finn?" she asked.

"Uh, yeah, sorry. Hey, Santana," he gave his signature half-grin.

"Anything you want to tell me?" she asked, raising her eyebrow.

"No…not really."

She stared harder, arched her eyebrow higher.

He sighed. "Yes…"

…

Puck spent his free time rehearsing with Artie for their song for Quinn. Artie thought it was a weird choice, but he was down for the chance to show off his mad rap skills. Puck had a one-track mind: telling Quinn that he could change for her. At lunch he caught up with her and asked her to show up to glee as early as she could so that he could get his apology song going before Schue could stop him. She agreed, intrigued.

Would she finally get a serenade in front of the club the way both Rachel Berry and Mercedes Jones already had from him? Even if _Beth_ was for her, surely she deserved two songs from Puck if _Rachel_ and _Mercedes_ already had one each? Honestly.

…

Once Quinn walked in, Puck and Artie started on their performance of John Legend's _I Can Change_. Artie did the rapping by Snoop Dogg, wheeling around and enjoying the attention. Puck put on his show for Quinn, complete with smooth dance moves of course.

Others walked in during the performance, and were quite amused; many joining in on the singing and dancing.

Of course, more than one person didn't join in.

**Artie:** _Hey yo nephew check this out man  
Now I know you got that bad chick right there  
You ain't even tripping off her  
But she doing all of that for you  
She got this, she got that  
She's off the hizzle  
I mean when you find one like that  
You got to make that change man  
Cuz they don't come too often  
And when they do come  
You got to be smart enough to know when to change  
Like Sam Cooke say change gon' come nephew  
And you better believe that  
_  
**Puck:** _As I look back on all that I've done to you  
My biggest regrets  
The things that I never could do  
I see the light now baby it's shining through  
Gotta give up the game  
Yeah I got some changin' to do_

I won't get high if you want it  
Get that straight  
9 to 5 if you want it  
Keep my ass home at night if you want it  
Whatever you need me to do

When you talk I'ma listen  
Give you all that attention you missing  
Girl I swear I'ma handle my business  
Just like a real man should do

I can change  
I can change (you know I can change baby)  
I can change  
For you (you know I can stop baby)  
I can change (you know I change baby)  
I can change  
I can change  
For you (you know I can stop baby)

I'll give up all the places I used to go  
Stay out the club  
Stay home because I'm with you  
I'll give up all those girls that I used to know  
They don't compare  
Baby I swear it's the truth (you know it's the truth baby)

So I'm through with the women  
Yeah that's right  
I give up on the pimpin'  
Girl I'm gonna repent from my sinnin'  
If that's what you want me to do

I'll get right if you want it  
Go to church  
Get baptized if you want it  
Girl you opened my eyes and I'm gonna  
Be much better for you

Baby believe me  
Baby believe me  
  
Rachel couldn't sit through that train wreck any longer. She left while Puck and Artie continued. They noticed, but the show must go on.

Well, until Schue cut the music.

…

Will was concerned that his students weren't taking Sectionals seriously again this year. Their co-captain was absent again, the kids were goofing off before (and during) class, and they didn't seem excited by his song selections.

He decided to go the strict discipline route with the kids who were there and if Rachel missed another rehearsal, he was going to have a talk with her and maybe her parents.

…

The kids couldn't wait to get out of the music room after this latest rehearsal. Puck sent a text again, but he wasn't having any luck with Rachel, so he decided to check in with the other girl in his life. He needed to step up his plan if he had any chance of getting Quinn to even apply to Case Western with him. He hoped she was in a good mood after his song for her.

She wasn't.

"S'up Q?" he nodded at her as he approached her locker. "Got a sec?"

Quinn rolled her eyes. "I suppose."

"Well, first you can tell me what you thought of my apology song," he grinned charmingly.

"I thought it was completely inappropriate," she whispered harshly. "My boyfriend was sitting right there! Are you insane?"

"Crazy for you maybe," he shrugged his shoulders as he tried to push aside his disappointment. "But I get it; it was a bad choice. I'm just trying to say I'm sorry for being such a dick, ok? Do you accept my apology?" He gave her the puppy dog eyes.

They worked every time.

She sighed. "Fine. I accept your apology. Are we done here?"

"One more question for you, Q. Have you been thinking about college applications?"

Quinn gaped at him. That was about the last thing she expected to come out of Puck's mouth.

"Of course I have."

"I figured," Puck shrugged. "So are you applying to schools in state?"

"Yes, now that my parents are split up, there's not as much money for me…" she trailed off when she recognized the strangeness of the conversation. "Puck, what is this about?"

His eyes lit up and he started talking quickly in his excitement and nervousness. "So, I'm applying to Case Western in Cleveland, and I was hoping you would too. Is that one of your schools? If it wasn't on your list before, there's still time to apply."

She gaped at him again. "You want us to go to the same college? Noah Puckerman wants to make sure we go off to college together?"

"Not just any college, Quinn, _Case_. In _Cleveland_. Where _Beth_ is."

"You cannot be serious."

"Of course I'm serious. What the hell? Why wouldn't I be?" he asked defensively. The look on her face told him this was the wrong move, so he decided he needed to explain it to her. "You see, I figure if we go to school there, we can see Beth whenever we want. I talked to Shelby, and she's just finishing up grad school or some shit and she wants to try to get a job at the university in the music department. She said she could really use some help watching Beth if she does get that job next year because daycare is so expensive. So it would be totally perfect. And I'll take care of her and everything. I know you're kinda nervous around babies, but I swear you'll get used to it and you'll love being around her. And I'm not saying we have to be a couple or anything, me and you. I know you're still into Sam or whatever, but I really think we should try to be in Beth's life. Especially now when Shelby needs us." He took a breath and figured he should let Quinn get a word in.

She stared at him like he had a third leg.

Well, he kinda did, but that wasn't the point.

"You're telling me that Shelby actually asked you to babysit?"

"Well, no…" Puck admitted.

She scoffed. "No, of course she didn't—because that wouldn't make any sense. She always seems a little uncomfortable around us. Haven't you noticed? She moved to get away from us, Puck, don't you see? Beth is _her_ daughter."

"She'll always be our daughter."

"I can't talk about this right now," Quinn said in a tight voice. She was on the verge of tears.

"Hey, it's ok, Q," he put his hand on her shoulder. "Think about it. We can talk about it some more later. But if you're thinking of being a music major, you have to schedule an audition, so…"

"I'm not going to be a music major," she snapped. "I'm an honors student with realistic aspirations. I'm not Rachel Berry."

"Well, shit, a blind man can see that, Q!" he snapped back.

Quinn couldn't tell if that was an insult to her or to Rachel, but she didn't stop to ask him. She just needed to get away from him. The idea of going to college in Cleveland and occasionally babysitting for her own daughter…it sounded like the worst idea she'd ever heard. Ever.

She rushed off to get to the locker room for tonight's football game and he shrugged and headed to get ready for the same thing. Friday nights in the fall now were typically football nights.

Of course, when he got to the locker room, Sam Evans was waiting to pounce.

"What the hell is wrong with you, Puckerman?" he shouted as soon as Puck entered.

"What?" he asked casually.

It took all of Sam's restraint not to punch him right then. Cocky bastard. "You _know _what," he said, shoving him (not terribly hard) into the lockers. "You're going after Quinn—singing her that song was effed up man," he shouted without cursing. "And to top it off, you're screwing around with Rachel Berry on the side!"

"Shut the fuck up," Puck roared back—not bothering to avoid swearing since Beiste didn't seem to be around yet. "You're such a little pansy, I guess you can't take the competition," he said smugly, shoving Sam threateningly.

"Competition? You? Competition for me?" he scoffed.

Puck was so angry he could barely see straight. That little fucktard. He shoved Sam again. "I'm gonna get her back you know, and you're not gonna stand in my way."

Sam was a little confused—understandably so based on what he'd seen in the restroom. "Dude, are you talking about Quinn or Rachel? That's messed up to go after two girls at the same time," he shook his head. "What a shitty thing to do." He couldn't help it—this situation with Puck brought out the swearwords.

Suddenly Puck was confused too. Why would Sam be competition for him with _Rachel_? Unless…No fucking way… "What the f-?"

But Puck's half-formed thoughts in the middle of the shoving match he was having with Sam were interrupted by Coach Beiste.

"What's going on here?" she bellowed. "Break it up!" she shouted as she stepped between the boys.

They separated and Puck finished getting his gear on for the game. Both boys channeled their anger into destroying the other team in the game, though they both wished their positions called for more hitting. But Puck had other thoughts nagging in his mind.

Was there something more going on between Sam and Rachel? She did say that someone else might think she's cool, and then Sam stood up and said that exact thing. They were really…friendly during that duet thing.

But still, no way. Sam was all about Quinn, and Berry said she was all about him—that he was the only sex-stud for her.

He really needed to talk to Rachel—now.

It dawned on him that if Sam and Rachel were into each other somehow, that opened the door for him to get in good with Quinn—reminding him about that whole idea where he could be the comforting hero when Sam and Rachel were caught together. But now that thought didn't put him at ease at all. It just pissed him off.

But he couldn't really stop to think about it because he was the best receiver on the team—he had football to play.

Fuck.

…

Everyone who cared was at the McKinley High football game—which was exactly where Rachel did not want to be. Pretty much all of the glee club members were there either as players, cheerleaders, or supporters of their teammates. Rachel couldn't bring herself to go. She decided to focus her energies on working on her audition materials.

Audition! Crap!

She panicked as she thought about how she had already set up the audition at Case Western…with Noah. It would be poor form to cancel the audition… She would either have to tell her dads and convince them to take her so she wouldn't have to ride with Noah, find another way there, or make amends with Noah enough to at least still be able to share a ride with him.

What a mess.

To top it off, it had been days and she still hadn't received an email from Shelby yet. She supposed it was possible that someone her age with a baby might not check her email as often as today's youth. But still, she had a dull ache in her chest reserved for the thought that her mother was utterly disinterested in her and would not be answering her email.

Rachel knew the football game was over when her phone started buzzing with messages. She tortured herself by actually checking as they came in—and she was surprised to see that Noah had resorted to sending her pictures—apparently from the locker room. He was sending her dirty pictures and messages telling her that she didn't want to miss this.

She replied with one word: _disgusting_, and then refrained from responding.

She _was_ disgusted.

What a ridiculous ploy.

She was also disgusted with herself for keeping each disgusting picture. She hated the throbbing she was feeling radiating from her core and the longing she still felt for him.

Why couldn't she learn? Why did she always want everything too much?

She thought about that day—on the bleachers—what if she hadn't broken up with him as a sophomore? She entertained a whirlwind fantasy of their happy years of high school before facing reality: they would have been doomed. They were doomed from the start. He was always going after what he couldn't have, and really it seemed that so was she. But in her second fantasy of how they would have broken up, he definitely would have cheated on her—maybe with Quinn, maybe Santana (and Brittany), it could be anyone. He was not a good choice for a high school boyfriend. Of course, that's part of what had steered her away from him in the first place and back to Finn. But she had been wrong about Finn too. There might not be any nice boys left in the world. Not Finn. Certainly not Jesse. Definitely not _Puck_. Maybe Sam, but even he was preoccupied with reputation and popularity. Not that she could blame him. She'd had her own obsession with popularity for awhile until it became all too apparent that she would never achieve status in high school. She'd have to wait. But if one achieved popularity, she decided it was somewhat reasonable to want to keep it.

Rachel tried to get back to thinking of her future—just this last year to go and she would be moving on with her life. She had to focus on her career and her auditions. She just had to decide if she would stop ignoring Noah long enough to go with him on that audition at Case or if she could find an alternative.

Rachel continued pondering these issues, and it was nearly midnight on Friday when Sam called Rachel. For an instant Rachel was afraid that it was a trick—that somehow Noah had gotten Sam's phone. But she decided she could always hang up if that were the case, so she took the risk.  
"Sam?"

"Hey, Rachel. Sorry to call so late. There was a party after the game, and I just dropped Quinn off at her house. But I wanted to talk to you about what happened."

"Ok?"

"So, I talked to Finn and I want to check with you and make sure he got it right."

"Ok."

Sam relayed what Finn had said, and Rachel confirmed that it was correct.

"So the guy makes a joke at your expense, and then thinks he's God's gift to girls and can charm his way into your pants or something? Geez, Rachel…Are you ok?" he asked with concern.

Rachel smiled through the tears that had sparked in her eyes upon talking about the situation. "Yes, Sam, thank you. Just knowing that there is someone out there who cares about my feelings helps a great deal. I really appreciate your concern."

Sam grinned sheepishly into the phone. It was nice to be complimented on something that mattered for once—something that wasn't about being a popular jock. "Thanks, Rachel. I just wish I could do something. I can't believe the way Puck thinks the world revolves around him—it's like he thinks he should have you _and_ Quinn. I mean, what the hell is going on with that guy?"

"I can honestly say that I don't know," Rachel replied. She wasn't bound by the secrecy of their agreement anymore, and she felt perfectly justified in warning Sam. He was sort of like a friend to her now. Of course, she wasn't about to tell him all of the details of her arrangement with Noah and what it entailed. She needed to hold onto her dignity.

"But you should watch out, Sam. I think he's very serious about Quinn. However his actions toward me may seem, that's like a game. But he's set on pursuing Quinn."

"Thanks, Rachel. I know you kinda warned me before when we were practicing our duet…I just figured after we got through the duets, it would all be over."

"You couldn't have known he would...do something so idiotic. I can't imagine Quinn was impressed," she assured him.

"Yeah," he chuckled. "I don't think she was. She said she was mortified. I was just pissed."

"Understandably so," Rachel sympathized. It was nice, to vent about Noah with Sam—even if she couldn't reveal all of her feelings or the whole truth.

"But here's the thing!" Sam exclaimed as he remembered the other reason for his call. "Finn's idea was for me to hint around to Quinn that Puck might be…you know, into you. So Thursday night, I kinda tried it. She did seem a little bit…I don't know…defensive about it or something. But then I guess what happened today kinda negated that—and I didn't tell her, you know, what I actually saw. I know you're not really her friend, but you're a girl…"

"Yes, that's true."

He chuckled. "So…I was wondering what you think that means. What do you think I should do?"

Rachel was touched that he asked for her advice on his relationship—like a real friend would do. She wanted to consider the question thoroughly and not give a hasty answer—which she told him. So after a pause while Sam let her think, Rachel finally answered. "I think there are two issues at work in your situation. First is the connection Quinn has to Puck—it's a connection that will always exist whether she wants it to or not. So her defensive attitude could reflect her negative feelings about her connection to Puck. Second is Quinn's…animosity toward me. I must admit that my past actions didn't help, but she's always…well, hated me. So if the girl in question was someone else—Tina for instance—Quinn might not have the same reaction."

"There's a lot of history and drama, huh?"

"Yes."

"But I still don't know what to do about all that."

"Oh, right! My advice is just to act normal with Quinn, or maybe a little extra romantic. I don't think you need to do anything special yet in regard to Puck's fixation."

"But should I tell her—about you two in the bathroom?"

"It might be a little late now," Rachel replied honestly. "Now that you've followed Finn's advice and kept the details from Quinn, it would seem odd that you suddenly tell her about it. And I must admit that I'm not looking forward to enduring the scrutiny that the release of that information might incite. Having said all that, if you prefer to come clean now, don't worry about my preference. They do say honesty is the best policy."

Sam sighed. "Yeah, that's what _they_ say. Well, thanks for your help. It's pretty late, so I guess I'll talk to you later, Rachel."

"Goodnight, Sam."

…

Puck got a bit drunk at the after-party, but everyone around him was annoying as fuck. They were all happy and making out and shit. And he wasn't so fucked that he forgot that he wanted to prove to Quinn he wasn't going to get with other chicks. And all the drunk whores trying to get some of his action were just pathetic. He left the party early after snagging a half-empty bottle of Jack.

Rachel's phone went straight to voicemail—every time he tried to call from like midnight to 1am. He sent some more texts and pictures he might regret in the morning: even going so far as to ask what she was doing, if she liked Sam, and telling her that Sam was a limp dick who wouldn't compare to what he would do to her.

He fell asleep shitfaced and pissed off.

…

When Rachel woke up to Noah's messages about how Sam couldn't compare him, she was feeling rather mean. She sent a text saying that from what she recalled, Sam actually could give him a run for his money.

She smiled a little while she burned through her exercise routine on the elliptical.

…

Saturday he woke up bleary-eyed and exhausted. He saw a new message on his phone and he started to wake right up. When he saw Rachel's message, at first he panicked—there really was something going on between Sam and Rachel! He typed immediately _WTF? U and Sam?_

When Rachel saw his text, she felt a sense of evil satisfaction. But she decided not to continue cultivating that false impression. She typed back that she and Sam were just friends. She just remembered how he looked as Rocky Horror and delivered her unbiased opinion.

Puck smirked—he could almost hear her voice spouting out that shit. He was still a little hung over, but his brain was working well enough to realize he had an opportunity. He had tried to hold his sex hostage, but that didn't work at all. He decided to go the emotional route. He snapped a picture of his bloodshot watery eyes and sent that along with messages about how he was crying over her, how he just needed to talk to her, how he would make it up to her if she would just let him.

Rachel didn't buy it. There were many more reasons a teenage boy would have red eyes—crying over her was pretty low on the list of likely scenarios. Still, when her phone rang with an actual call, she decided to answer.

"Oh thank fuck, you answered," he sighed, relieved and proud that his idea worked.

"Yes, I did. But this doesn't mean I actually believe that you've been crying," she assured him.

"Yeah, well, it got you to answer the phone, didn't it?"

She was glad that he didn't sound like he was that upset—it made it easier to stay mad at him instead of letting him convince her otherwise. "Yes, congratulations. You've been thoroughly annoying me, and now I'm telling you directly to stop."

"Oh, come on, B! Now that we're finally on the phone, at least let me talk to you. Please?"

"Why? So you can tell me your side of the story? I don't care about your side. You obviously don't care about me considering how you treat me and that song you sang to Quinn…" She couldn't even finish her sentence.

"So you didn't think that song was a good choice either?"

"I can't even…I have no words for how tremendously bad that choice was…just spectacularly terrible!"

"Shit, Berry, don't hold back," he grumbled. It was bad enough that Quinn hated it, Sam made him feel shitty, and Rachel was definitely not helping.

"I don't see why I should hold back. Do you have any idea what it was like for me to watch you?" she exclaimed. Then she quieted. "Of course you don't. I don't even know what possessed you…"

Actually, he hadn't thought about how Rachel would feel about the song. And he didn't think about it too hard before he defended himself. "It was an apology song to Quinn. Some things were said while you were in the bathroom…"

"You mean at home," she corrected.

"Home?"

"When you left the bathroom, so did I. I went straight home."

"You didn't even wait for me like I asked?"

"No. Of course not. You left. You made your choice. Quinn."

"Hey, you knew I was trying to win back Quinn," he protested.

She sighed. That was true. "My reasons don't matter anymore. But that choice and your song to Quinn just cemented the decision I already made. It really doesn't matter. You broke our contract. Our arrangement is dissolved. Please do not call me anymore," she finished tersely before hanging up.

"Rachel, wait!" he yelled into the dead air. "Fuck!" he swore and threw his phone.

…

So obviously Puck was spending the weekend alone. Which sucked. And of course, all he could think about was Rachel. He figured he thought about Rachel instead of Quinn because he'd actually seen Rachel naked. When he was with Quinn, she wouldn't take off her uniform. She just took off those little panties (whatever she called them). It was quick and not really all that memorable except for the fact that it was Quinn and he'd wanted to get with her since…forever. And that he had scored her right out from under Finn. At the time that was a good thing—it was only later that the guilt ate at him over that. So it was understandable that he was thinking about Rachel now, right?

While he gripped his cock and stroked it, thinking of her perfect tits, perfect legs, that ass, that tight pussy, he fought to think of someone else... Santana probably had the best body in school, and then Brittany; Rachel was pretty far down on the list. So why couldn't he think about the last time he fucked Santana (and Brittany)? He should have a million memories to draw from—but there was only Rachel.

Fuck.

Fortunately that still did the trick.

It just pissed him off.

…

On Monday, Rachel actually made it through glee rehearsal, but Mr. Schue kept her after he dismissed the others so he could talk to her about her attendance problems lately. She promised that the past few incidents were anomalies and would not be habitual.

Puck tried waiting for her, but he was going to be late for football practice, so he had to leave.

He kept trying to reach her that night—unsuccessfully. Even Sarah looked away from the tv anxiously to ask him why Rachel didn't come over at seven like usual. He shut himself in his room.

He was getting fed up with this shit. He shouldn't give a flying fuck if she called him back. He should just take this contract and use the idea with some other chick.

But he wanted Rachel.

Shit.

No, that wasn't it. His mind worked quickly to come up with an explanation.

He couldn't trust anyone else to be so down with following the rules like Rachel. Yeah. Anyone else would brag about being with him, it would get back to Quinn, and ruin the whole thing.

So _that's_ why he needed Rachel.

…

On Tuesday, Mr. Schue had the _great_ idea to help get the seniors of glee more motivated to perform and help them bond to show better leadership with the younger students. He reminded them of looming college applications and music auditions season and invited them to Rachel's audition practice session.

"It will be a great learning experience for everyone. And I'll buy pizza! Is that okay with you, Rachel?"

Rachel reluctantly agreed. She felt obligated to do as he asked to make up for her absences from rehearsal, but she hated that he put her on the spot and forced the 'yes' out of her. She thought it was highly probable that he came up with this idea in part to punish her.

Mr. Schue could be a real jerk.

He called in for pizzas at the beginning of glee, and they were delivered just as the rehearsal ended. Of course, Rachel didn't partake, but she had to watch the others chowing down in the auditorium as she took the stage.

"Why don't you perform that Italian aria you've been practicing?" Will suggested.

She heard several groans from her classmates, so she shook her head. "Maybe I'll try something more contemporary for today." She handed Brad the music she'd been carrying as one of her audition options. He rolled his eyes but began playing _I'm Not That Girl_ from _Wicked_.

Rachel walked quickly to the microphone to be there in time for her cue—since Brad started without her signal. She tried to look up—focusing on the rafters and away from the disinterested eyes and chomping jaws. Disgusting and uncomfortable circumstances for an audition, to be sure. Besides, she couldn't risk looking at anyone in particular with the wrong expression.

_Hands touch, eyes meet  
Sudden silence, sudden heat  
Hearts leap in a giddy whirl  
He could be that boy  
But I'm not that girl:_

Don't dream too far  
Don't lose sight of who you are  
Don't remember that rush of joy  
He could be that boy  
I'm not that girl

Every so often we long to steal  
To the land of what-might-have-been  
But that doesn't soften the ache we feel  
When reality sets back in

Blithe smile, lithe limb  
She who's winsome, she wins him  
Gold hair with a gentle curl  
That's the girl he chose  
And Heaven knows  
I'm not that girl

Don't wish, don't start  
Wishing only wounds the heart  
I wasn't born for the rose and the pearl  
There's a girl I know  
He loves her so  
I'm not…that girl

She finished with tears shining in her eyes. To cover her emotions, she spoke into the microphone crisply. "Then I'll transition into a stirring rendition of _Defying Gravity_, which most of you have heard me sing before—I've only improved since then, but considering the late hour, this concludes my public performance. Thank you for observing. I hope you found it…enlightening."

Just as she turned to leave, Mr. Schuester spoke into the microphone from his booth in the audience. "Rachel, that was a good song for showing your skills at infusing emotion into your performances, but it didn't do much to show off your vocal range. I think we can do better. So we'll meet the same time next week?"

She nodded and stepped offstage to a smattering of reluctant applause, joining the others in the auditorium seating so she could gather her things and end this nightmare—as quickly as possible. Mr. Schue left and Rachel did her best to scurry after him while the others were taking their time to scrounge the last pieces of pizza and exit the aisles.

"Dude!" Puck exclaimed. "You're totally into Schue… No, it _is_ Sam isn't it?" he accused from his seat in the auditorium.

Rachel couldn't believe _that_ is what he took from her performance.

Even Santana rolled her eyes.

"You're an idiot."

Santana and Rachel exchanged glances, realizing that they had said the same thing at the same time.

Rachel's eyes widened with her new knowledge: _Santana knows_.

…

**A.N.** Shouts to **sweetcaroline1986** who wanted Sam to give Puck hell—I managed to fit a little bit of that in for you; and to **Nova802** who wanted consequences for Puck's actions with Rachel on the Shelby front—the seed has been planted. **Maiqu** it's that end I told you about, and **kaelaelameee** there's the reference to Quinn as the perfect blonde beauty as I wrote in our PMs ;) Thanks also to those who have suggested songs. I'm going to work them in, but some are going to appear farther down the line than others. I couldn't fit everyone's suggestions into this chapter, but I want to thank you again and let you know more is coming with Shelby, Kurt, and of course Puck and Rachel.


	10. All the Wrong Reasons

**Ch. 10. All the Wrong Reasons**

**A.N.** Thanks to everyone for your reviews! A few specifics—Thanks to **opangster** for pointing out the Cleveland Institute of Music and to **Karma22** for suggesting _Jar of Hearts _by Christina Perri! Thanks to **Nova802:** there's a line that may sound familiar from one of your early reviews about Puck & Rachel as equals ;) And to **GoingVintage** for so often being the first to review these chapters with such encouragement-like instant gratification :)

Listen to the song by adding the following to the youtube address:

/user/novice242?feature=mhum#p/a/f/0/8v_4O44sfjM

**Disclaimer: ** I don't own Glee, any songs, or anything familiar.

…

Santana felt smug listening to Rachel's performance. She had her man. But then she started noticing who else was noticing Berry. First there was Sam, who looked on knowingly, almost sympathetically. Then she saw Puck who seemed to be going through a range of emotions that resulted in a series of conflicting expressions played out on his face.

Instantly Santana put together the things she'd seen and heard. She knew Finn wasn't lying about what Sam told him. Sam saw something going on between Puck and Rachel (again).

She decided that the return of Puckleberry had potential, and hinting at Rachel being interested in Sam would be helpful too—all conveniently working toward one goal. Fucking with Quinn.

This month was Homecoming. And Sam and Quinn were frontrunners for King and Queen. But if Santana could crack their united Ken and Barbie image, then maybe she and Finn could sweep in and win.

Santana liked winning. Especially over Quinn.

She needed a plan to make everything happen in her favor, so she thought she'd hold onto her knowledge quietly, gather information. But when Puck accused Rachel of liking Sam based on that song she sang, she slipped up and said what she really thought.

"You're an idiot," Santana blurted out. She saw Rachel's panic, and she tried to give her a look that told her this was under control, but the girl just stared back at her bewildered.

"Alright, hold up," Santana said, taking charge. "Who here thinks Rachel has a thing for Sam?"

Puck raised his hand immediately. Considering his girlfriend just called Puck an idiot for that very thing, Finn kept his hand down. Brittany didn't know what was going on, but seeing everyone else raise their hands made her raise hers too.

"You're all idiots," Santana announced, her plan forming as she spoke. "We don't have any reason to think that except for their _assigned_ duet and the words of this song, which obviously Rachel didn't write."

Rachel gaped in surprise at the source of her aid. "Thank you, Santana."

"But you have no problem lying," Quinn glared at Rachel. "You lied to my face sophomore year and said you weren't after Finn." She turned to Santana triumphantly. "So we have her history to consider."

"And we have the way Sam stood up for her in glee," argued Puck.

Quinn nodded and looked at Sam questioningly.

Santana rolled her eyes and continued, "If either one of those two were into each other, there would be real proof…phone calls, texts, notes, that type of thing. Unless they're incredibly good at covering their tracks." She added that last bit to keep the doubt in Quinn's mind. She didn't think there would actually be any evidence. But she was in luck. When Quinn took Sam's phone and found an incriminating call, Santana was so thrilled she could almost burst.

"What's this?" Quinn exclaimed, shoving his phone in his face. "You called Rachel Berry at midnight on Friday! What was that, a booty call?"

"What the fuck?" Puck jumped in. Then he realized he needed to cover his anger with something believable. "You programmed her real name in your phone? Amateur," he scoffed. "Shoulda used something like Ray Blue, so you know who it is but Q doesn't."

Quinn gave Puck the death glare.

Rachel wondered if she was listed as Ray Blue on his phone.

"I don't have anything to hide," explained Sam calmly. "Yeah, I called Rachel. I was concerned about her—as a friend—after seeing how she was being treated by _you_!" He turned the tables on Puck. "First I catch you two, then you sing that messed up song to Quinn about _givin' up your pimpin'_ for her; so yeah, I called Rachel to find out what was going on with her and ask her for some advice."

Puck was dumbstruck as all his hard work to hide his secret had been destroyed in an instant. But people didn't seem to pick up on what Sam said—and Sam didn't say anything specific.

Rachel took the opportunity to reason with Quinn. She walked toward her hesitantly. "Quinn, it's true that Sam and I are friends, but just barely. You'll notice there are no incoming calls or messages from me since the time we had our duets assignment. He really did call me out of an unusual circumstance. And one of the things we talked about was his concern about losing you to Puck."

"Just friends?" Quinn asked. Rachel wasn't sure if it was directed to her or to Sam, so she just nodded.

Sam replied, "Of course, Q. I haven't forgotten my promise to you. Why don't we sit back down, have some more bottled water, and calm down before I take you home?"

Quinn nodded and let him lead her down a few aisles, away from the group.

Rachel had to escape all the glares she was getting as glee club's couple-wrecker. Puck was stuck—not knowing if he should go after her or not. Santana made the decision for him. She yanked on his shirt and pulled him aside while the others were busy gossiping about the spectacle.

"Don't be an even bigger idiot," she whispered. "You can play this off with Blondie if you ignore Rachel right now. I'll take care of it." And off she went after Rachel, leaving Puck and Finn staring.

…

"Rachel, wait!" Santana called. "We need to talk!"

Rachel shook her head. "I just need to go."

"I know…_everything_," Santana announced. "You _need_ to talk to me."

Rachel froze and turned around slowly.

"It's for your own good," Santana said with a nod and a saccharine smile. She ushered Rachel into the abandoned music room and closed the door.

"So, you like Puck again, huh?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Rachel huffed and crossed her arms.

"Puh-lease," Santana rolled her eyes. "Besides, you don't have to lie to me. I'm here to offer you some friendly advice."

"Friendly?" Rachel asked skeptically.

"Look, as long as you're staying away from Finn, I'm happy, and we're friends. Got it?"

Rachel nodded, a little nervous about her new role as Santana's 'friend.'

"Obviously you have feelings for Puck," Santana stated. Rachel glanced sideways but didn't deny it. Santana continued. "And obviously, he has some feelings for you, even if he's too stuck up Quinn's ass to realize it."

This caught Rachel's attention but she just stared at the beautiful, evil girl in front of her and waited for more words of wisdom.

"So here's what you do: use that jealousy card he's already feeling. Make him think you _are_ into Sam. Do whatever it takes to drive him so crazy, he admits it. It's perfect."

Rachel looked at her anxiously. There was a certain logic behind that idea—considering how Noah was acting about Sam. But the wrath of Quinn was not something Rachel wanted to even deal with—she had enough on her plate. "I don't know…what about Quinn?" she asked with uncharacteristic brevity.

"What about her? It's not like you really like Sam. And it's not like you haven't gone after her man before," she finished snidely. She couldn't resist.

Rachel gulped in surprise. "I suppose that's a fair assessment of my record," she stammered.

"Hey, I'm impressed, girl. No lie."

Rachel couldn't prevent the tentative smile on her face. And Santana beamed back—she was stunning when she smiled like that. Rachel felt a pang of jealousy at Santana's sheer radiance while at the same time a glimmer of hope fluttered in her heart. "Thank you. And thank you for your friendly advice," Rachel said before she turned to leave.

"Anytime," Santana smiled before heading to her next project.

"Hudson, Puckerman," she called when she got back to the auditorium. "Where are you?"

"Down here, Lopez," Puck called back. They were the only ones left, and for some reason they were in the orchestra pit goofing off.

Idiots.

But they looked kinda cute, those dumb fucks, stacking metal chairs and climbing to the top to make their way out of the pit.

"I don't have all day," she called. "I have to talk to Puck, and then I need to have some _quality time_ with Finn."

"So what'd you say to Rachel?" Puck asked as he pulled himself over the wall of the pit. "What'd she say?"

Santana smiled. This was so easy. She held up a finger, telling Puck to wait. "Finn, could you get me a slushie from 7-11? I'm parched and I want something sticky and sweet." She licked her lips.

"Oh, uh, sure. What flavor?"

"Cherry please," she batted her eyelashes. Once Finn had left the auditorium, she was free to get down to business with Puck. "You have quite a situation on your hands, Puck. Two girls on your mind, hmm?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," he crossed his arms. "I'm just making sure Rachel's not gonna ruin my chances with Quinn."

"Mm-hmm. Sure you are. But you going after Quinn helps me, so I'm going to help you."

"Huh?"

"Ok, I'm gonna play it straight with you. I don't care if you like Quinn or Rachel or both. But you have a chance to work toward both at the same time. If you start pursuing Rachel it will make her happy and Quinn jealous. Win-win."

Puck frowned. "Did Rachel say she wants me to pursue her because…" he trailed off. He didn't want to admit he already had been and she'd been rejecting him.

Santana rolled her eyes. "You're completely helpless, aren't you?"

"Whatever," he shrugged dismissively.

"I'll help you, you idiot. I don't know what you've been doing, but I'm sure I know what you haven't done—and it will work like a charm."

Puck was so curious to find out what trick Santana was going to gift him. If he could really get Rachel back, that would be pretty fucking fantastic. He replied coolly, "I'm listening."

"Rachel Berry just sang _I wasn't born for the rose and pearl_. So what do you think you should get her to show her how thoughtful and caring you are?" she hinted.

"Hell if I know. I don't even know what that means."

"You really are that clueless?"

He looked at her blankly.

"Ok, stupid question," she sighed with irritation. She supposed the lyrics could be somewhat confusing. "Do you think anyone has ever given Rachel Berry flowers and jewelry? The correct answer is: Hell No."

Puck's face lit up with a spark of understanding. "So I should bring her roses and pearls? Then she'll forgive me?"

Santana shrugged. "It's worth a shot. It's better than anything you could come up with on your own…obviously. Oh, and make sure to make it public."

"What? Why? Then Quinn will totally know and freak out."

"Now you're getting it. She'll be jealous that she rejected you and that you're being number-one-boyfriend material with Rachel Berry. It's so delicious I can hardly stand it!"

Santana made some good points. Puck decided he would make an attempt with Quinn, she'd probably reject him, and then he'd pull out all of the stops to get Rachel back. If Quinn did get jealous, bonus. But if she didn't, he was pretty sure getting Rachel back was enough for him. Fuck, he was itching for her so badly.

Finn came back with the slushie for Santana, and Puck was going to walk to the parking lot with them, but Santana made it clear he should take off. It took Puck a while to figure out that Santana wanted to get some action in the empty auditorium.

He smirked. That was Santana. Finn was a lucky bastard, but he wasn't jealous. He was grateful for the kick-ass advice.

He hoped pearls weren't too expensive.

…

Puck was getting way more excited about the idea of buying pearls and flowers than someone with a dick instead of a vagina should be. But once Santana said it, the idea was stuck in his head and he realized how perfect it was. He kept repeating the words _I wasn't born for the rose and pearl_ until they finally made sense. It was like a light bulb went off in a corner of his brain.

…

Meanwhile, Rachel was thinking about what Santana had told her. She had acted like it was obvious that Noah really had feelings for her—and Santana couldn't possibly know all of the details. So surely Rachel wasn't crazy to believe that he really was getting over Quinn and cared about _her_—he just didn't know it yet.

She wondered if flirting with Sam would really make Noah realize and admit that he liked her. At first, she thought it was worth a shot. Then, she thought about how that might affect Sam…it could really get him in trouble with Quinn. And as much as she secretly thought Quinn didn't really deserve such a nice boy like Sam, she didn't want to selfishly ruin his relationship with his girlfriend.

Noting this sign of her personal growth, Rachel decided that just being friendly with Sam seemed to have impact on Noah, so that should be enough to test out Santana's idea. She had a sincere reason to talk to Sam anyway—to make sure he knew that she absolutely was not singing about him. She certainly didn't want to jeopardize their new friendship with the false impression that she was interested in him romantically.

The boy she _was_ interested in romantically might actually be interested in her too! She tried not to get her hopes too high. Really, she needed to stay grounded. While it was only the beginning of their senior year, it was their _Senior Year_. She shouldn't let herself get caught up in _love_—that was bound to end in separation when she left for New York and he stayed in Ohio. But that didn't mean she couldn't entertain the idea of a romantic relationship with Noah before that inevitable parting of ways, right?

Wait, what was she thinking? Even if he did have feelings for her too, he was still obsessed with Quinn. So she really shouldn't let him back into her heart so easily.

Not that she'd ever rid her heart of him.

Maybe they should try to just be friends—and _not_ the kind 'with benefits'—to build their emotional connection instead of their already-thriving physical one.

It was in the spirit of friendship and concern that Rachel did some searching online on Noah's behalf. She was really bothered by the idea that he would attend a school that had no offerings in Music Theory and Composition when he was clearly gifted in those areas. As she was searching, she couldn't believe she forgot the obvious option—the Cleveland Institute of Music! A well-respected music school—with theory and composition—in the desired location! But Noah would have to act fast to get an audition there!

Rachel didn't trust herself to call him and talk to him directly. She was in such a state of excitement that she was afraid the conversation would end with her back in his arms and in his bed.

And that would be very bad.

Right?

Right.

She composed herself and an email with all of the pertinent information. She sent it to Noah along with a text telling him to check his email right away.

…

It was after 10pm when Puck got a text from Ray Blue. He stared at his phone in shock before he scrambled to check his email. He hadn't even bought those pearls yet, and it seemed like he was already making progress!

He didn't know what he was expecting in the email, but he definitely wasn't expecting detailed information and a plea to apply to CIM.

Maybe in the past Puck would have been disappointed that there were no dirty pictures or her vow to be his sex slave.

Maybe because he was so desperate for any sign that he had a hope with Rachel, this simple email ramped his heart rate up and put a goofy grin on his face.

Even the way she was so detailed with the information and was so—_Rachel _about how she ended the message—just made him so happy.

Past Puck would have called this Puck a pussy. But he didn't give a fuck.

Rachel Berry cared about him. Even after all that ignoring and putting him off—_she wanted him_—past Puck and present Puck agreed about that. He could tell by what she said (and didn't say). He re-read the end of her email.

_Noah, you truly are talented, and I can't bear the thought that you would squander that. If you insist on staying in Ohio, please follow up with CIM and quickly before it's too late. While I still believe New York would be ideal, CIM meets your needs for location and quality music theory and composition education._

_Please do not call me to thank me. An email with your gratitude and confirmation that you set up an audition will suffice. I'd prefer not to talk to you for awhile until I can trust that we can return to our status as acquaintances who will carpool to our auditions at Case Western. If you believe that you cannot keep our plans to go to our auditions together, please let me know (by email or text) with time to spare so that I can make other arrangements._

_Even though I'm concerned about your future, don't forget that I'm still angry at you for your disrespectful treatment of me and utter disregard for my feelings. Our contract is void, and I do not wish to receive more inappropriate phone calls and comments from you._

_Sincerely,_

_Rachel Berry_

That was some funny shit right there. But it hit him smack in the chest too. He couldn't stop grinning. He definitely still had a chance to save their relationship—_arrangement_, their arrangement.

He sent her an email right away.

_Thanks, babe. Appreciate it so much, seriously. I'll try to set up an audition asap._

_And I'm seriously sorry—don't be mad : ( I'm a dick. I do stupid shit. I'm trying to get better though._

_But I won't call you for awhile because I respect your wishes and care about your feelings, ok?_

_Sincerely, _

_Noah Puckerman_

_(Since we're being all formal here)_

…

Rachel really wanted to call him. But she couldn't be certain he wasn't just saying what he knew she wanted to hear. He needed to prove that he respects her and cares about her. And the first step is to stop calling her and begging her to let him _give it _to her.

Rachel hoped she knew what she was doing.

…

At school the next day, a part of Rachel hoped she could find an opportunity to talk to Sam when Noah was nearby so she could test Santana's jealousy theory; but as lunch time approached, Rachel decided she couldn't wait. She needed to talk to Sam anyway and she couldn't worry about the presence or absence of an audience.

She didn't know that she actually had an audience—just not the intended one.

Down the hall, Quinn was chatting with Santana and Brittany. Santana had a clear shot of Rachel walking up to Sam, and she pointed it out to Quinn. Quinn narrowed her eyes and turned to march right up to that boyfriend-stealer and give her a piece of her mind.

Santana grabbed her wrist. "Q, wait. Watch and wait," she said sagely. Santana figured it would be an innocent encounter, but from a distance, she was pretty sure she could convince Quinn of anything. And Rachel was definitely helping matters by wearing that tiny skirt—she looked like she was trying to play into the stereotypical school-girl fantasy of all men everywhere. She probably was, that sneaky little whore, Santana mused. She glanced at Quinn and noted the white knuckles gripping her textbook. Oh yeah, Santana was loving it.

…

"Sam, do you have a moment?" Rachel asked when she reached his locker.

"What's up?"

"I just want to assure you that I have no romantic interest in you whatsoever, and I most definitely was not singing that song about you yesterday."

"Wow, that's harsh, Rachel," he said. "Am I not hot enough for you?"

Rachel was stunned by his response. She blinked several times as she tried to come up with a reply. Then she saw his laughing eyes and it dawned on her that he was joking. He elbowed her teasingly, "Lighten up, Rach. I'm just kidding. I know you weren't singing about me."

She swiped back at him, hitting him lightly in the ribs; and she gave him a little scowl. "You have a very honest face, you know! You shouldn't toy with me like that!"

"My apologies," he bowed with a chuckle.

"I'm glad we've cleared that up," Rachel smiled. "See you later, Sam."

"Wait, Rachel! Just one thing," he lowered his voice to a whisper and motioned for her to come closer.

She stepped toward him curiously.

"Why were you singing about Puck? What's the deal with girls falling all over him? He's such a jerk."

Rachel shook her head in immediate denial. "I'm not falling all over him! I wasn't singing about anyone!"

He gave her his best lawyer stare. "Rachel, c'mon, we both know that's not true."

She slumped slightly as she sighed. "Fine, you're right. But the reasons are too complicated to explain to you here." Or ever.

Sam nodded. "Yeah, I need to meet Quinn for lunch anyway. I'm surprised she hasn't come by yet."

As if on cue, Quinn appeared at his side. "Hi Sam," she said demurely. "Hello Rachel," she said with a trace of steel in her voice.

"Hello Quinn. I was just ensuring that Sam knew I wasn't singing that song for him. You should know that too, Quinn. I'm definitely not in love with your boyfriend."

"This time," Quinn replied, now that steeliness was crystal clear.

Rachel blinked before she nodded. "Right. This time. I am not in love with Sam now, nor have I ever been, nor do I expect to fall in love with him in the foreseeable future." She turned abruptly and walked away without another word.

…

Puck didn't catch her conversation with Sam, but he did catch a glimpse of her turning the corner in a rush. Now that the fall days were cooler, he was tortured (in the best possible way) by Rachel's tiny skirts and knee socks: highlighting those smooth thighs. He was determined to save up all the money he normally spent buying dip, comic books, and shit like that, so he could buy something for Rachel. Something that would knock her socks off and drop her panties.

…

Santana had another move in store: stoking the jealousy fires in Quinn. That couple was going to crack like an egg. She helped freak Quinn out about Rachel liking Sam—all part of her plan to break them up by Homecoming.

By Thursday, Santana had worked Quinn into a frenzy, and Quinn in turn cajoled Sam into going along with a plan that would either result in catching that sneaky slut Rachel or proving her innocence and easing Quinn's mind.

Sam found the whole thing…insane. But he when he looked into Quinn's beautiful green eyes as she pleaded with him, he heard himself saying, "Whatever you want, Quinn."

So that night he called Rachel. "Rach, I need you." He said it without a greeting—attempting to sound seductive the way Quinn wanted.

"What? Sam, is that you?"

"Yeah, it's me. Can you come over?"

"What's this about? Are you ok?"

"Yeah, I'm just…I need you to come over."

He was acting very suspicious—like the prank calls from when she first moved to Lima. "Is this some kind of trick?" Then it dawned on her. "Is Quinn putting you up to this, like a test?"

"Maybe," he answered. "But I really need you to come over asap."

"Ok, I understand. I'll be there in a few minutes." Rachel hung up and shook her head. What a mess. She pulled out her hideous blue pantsuit. She knew it was hideous because that exact word had been used to describe it by Kurt, Quinn, and Santana on separate occasions. She grabbed her laptop and headed to Sam's.

When she got there, he opened the door right away.

"Whoa, you look terrible," he whispered. "Nice choice," he smiled and winked.

"Thanks," she grinned before completely changing her expression. She nodded at him as if to say _start the show_; and he opened the door widely.

"Hey, Rachel."

"What's going on? I couldn't imagine you'd call out of the blue when we don't have an assignment together; and the only thing I could think of was that you wanted my help with your studies, or perhaps college applications…"

She noticed Quinn failing miserably to look casual behind the kitchen door.

"Oh, Quinn!" she exclaimed. "I didn't know you would be here." Rachel realized she was probably overdoing it. So she toned it down and looked from Quinn to Sam. "So, can either of you tell me why I'm here?"

Sam looked at Quinn who reluctantly emerged from the kitchen after failing to catch Rachel flirting with her boyfriend. Quinn crossed her arms in defeat, but didn't respond.

"You've passed the test, Rachel, so I think that's all I needed," he grinned.

"Do you agree, Quinn?" Rachel asked. "Am I free to leave?"

"Yes, fine," Quinn sighed.

"Maybe an apology is in order?" Sam ventured, playfully elbowing Quinn.

"Fine. I'm sorry for being suspicious, even though it's a perfectly reasonable concern."

"I think that's the best we're gonna get out of her," Sam shrugged with a smile.

"I accept your half-apology, Quinn," Rachel said magnanimously before flouncing out the door.

Sam chuckled and Quinn glared. "It's not funny! You don't know our history!" Her eyes filled with tears as frustration, anxiety, and even a bit of relief rushed through her. "I'm sorry, Sam; she just makes me crazy!"

He wrapped her in his arms. "It's ok, Quinn. Why don't you tell me about your history so I'll understand?"

She nodded and sighed as she decided to tell the boy she was engaged to be engaged to a bit more about her high school past.

…

The next day, Quinn felt the urge to talk to Finn about her lingering concerns regarding Sam and Rachel. Finn was one of Sam's closest friends, so she hoped he might have some helpful insight. She described what happened the night before.

"I think he somehow told her that I was there, but I can't figure out how—I was standing there listening to him talk to her on the phone, so there was only this really brief time when he opened the door for her and I was…in the kitchen. He could have tipped her off then, but she was wearing that disgusting pantsuit—something no girl in her right mind—not even Rachel, would wear for a hook-up."

"Wow, Quinn. You're really wound up about this," Finn grinned sheepishly.

She gave a frustrated sigh. "Of course I am. I don't have a good record with being chosen over Rachel Berry," she looked at him pointedly.

Finn's eyes widened. "Quinn…" He couldn't figure out what to say, so he just put his arm around her.

Quinn released her frustrations by allowing just a few tears to fall. "It's not fair," she said bitterly.

Finn took a deep breath. "I need to tell you something. I'm not supposed to tell, but I think you'll feel better. But you can't tell Sam I told you."

Quinn looked up at him confused. "Sam told you something to keep from me? And you think it will make me feel better?" She was upset at the thought.

"Yeah…oh, it's not about Rachel," he said quickly. "Well, it is, but not what you're thinking."

She raised an eyebrow expectantly.

Finn continued. "So, that day in glee when Sam stood up for Rachel, then Puck said something mean, and she left the room? And then Puck went after her? And then Sam went too?"

Quinn nodded impatiently.

"Sam didn't get to tell everyone what he saw because Puck interrupted him, remember?"

She nodded again, prompting Finn to get to the point. He relayed what he could remember from what Sam told him, with the main point being the way Puck was weirdly close to Rachel—like he wanted to kiss her. "So see, Sam was worried if you thought that Puck was after Rachel, it might spark some crazy jealousy thing that would make you start liking Puck again. He told me about it, I told Santana—well, she forced it outta me. But Santana basically agreed that you'd be jealous, so we didn't tell you." Finn was relieved he got all that out.

Quinn was not pleased. At all. "So you, Sam, and Santana have all been keeping this secret? Some big Puck and Rachel secret? And it doesn't even seem like Puck likes Rachel, considering that song he sang to me."

"I know!" he exclaimed with boyish enthusiasm. "Isn't that great? So you don't have to worry about Sam liking Rachel, and Sam doesn't have to worry about you being jealous of Rachel and thinking about Puck, right?"

"Ri-ight. He just has to worry about my reaction to this little secret," she replied angrily.

"Aw, Quinn, don't be too hard on him. You can be…really scary sometimes…and Sam meant well. He just wants to keep you, you know?"

Finn's imploring look as he lobbied on Sam's behalf melted Quinn's heart—a little. "I'll keep that in mind," she said with a faint smile.

…

Quinn wasn't in the best mood, but her conversation with Puck probably wouldn't have gone much differently if he had caught her on another day.

It started simply, with Puck slinking up to Quinn and asking her if she'd thought about applying to Case.

"I _have_ thought about it, and I'm not going to apply there, Puck. I'm going to apply to schools with Sam."

"So if I get Sam to apply, you will too?"

"That's not the point. It's a terrible idea to think we'd be welcome in Beth's life the way you seem to think we should be. And I don't think I really could deal with that kind of reminder."

"Reminder? Do you wish she hadn't been born?" he asked incredulously.

Quinn sighed wearily. "Not exactly." She knew he couldn't understand so she didn't bother. "You have to admit the situation was not ideal."

"What the actual fuck?" Puck fumed.

"I thought we were being honest. I'm not trying to fight with you, Puck. I just want to go home."

"Yeah, all you care about is keeping up your perfect little life—wouldn't want a bastard baby fucking up your perfect world!"

"Maybe it's harder when you have more to lose," she whispered as her eyes stung. "You're being a real jerk about this, Noah Puckerman!" she exclaimed through her tears. "This is harder on me than you could ever know. You're fooling yourself if you think there's some happily-ever-after waiting for us with Beth. There isn't. You need to move on—But if you can't, please, _please_ let me move on!"

He stared in shock as she ran down the hall crying.

He leaned his head back against the lockers and the memory of nearly this exact moment kicked him hard in the gut.

Fuck.

That's when he knew he'd broken her just like she'd broken him.

…

…

After he pulled his shit together, he just needed to talk to Rachel. He didn't want to seem like a pussy though, so he put on his usual charm. He figured her email meant they were on friendly terms, like before. (He had a selective memory and poor reading skills—relying more on how he felt about her message than her actual words.)

He sent her a text._ Cleveland plan failed. Calling you k?_

"It's official, I failed," Puck said immediately when she answered the phone.

"What? How is that possible? Were the auditions slots full for CIM?" Rachel hated that she even took the bait. Why was she even answering his phone call? …Because she cared about his future.

"No, not that. Quinn won't apply to Case, and definitely not CIM. She's only applying where Sam's applying. So I have to work on that. But I'm definitely feeling defeated. I figured you could come over and comfort me."

"You thought wrong."

"Come on, B. It's like you get to win."

"How in the world do you figure that?"

"I'll be extremely vulnerable…you can take advantage of me…sexually."

"I think you have me confused for someone else. For you maybe."

"I don't think so. I think I know _exactly_ who I'm talking to."

She shivered and cursed herself. "I think I hate you, Noah Puckerman."

"Hate's a strong word—strong emotion. Why don't you come over and work out some of that anger on me?"

"It's not necessary. I can take care of myself."

Puck's eyes widened as his mind went to the gutter. "Alright, Berry!" he smirked into the phone. "I suppose I'll settle for you taking out your frustrations on yourself while I listen. I know you can do it," he said suggestively, remembering when she did just that. "Ok, go."

"You're horrible and disgusting. I'm hanging up."

"Wait!"

For no good reason, she did.

When the call didn't end, Puck continued. "Can you just come over, please?"

"We're friends or we're nothing. I won't be your second choice," she said firmly.

"You're totally not. I called you first. It's not like I called Santana and Brittany first," he joked. "I called you."

Apparently Rachel was in no mood for jokes.

"You really are an idiot." She hung up.

Dammit. He called her back.

She let it go to voicemail.

…

Rachel counted that phone call as a clear regression and sign that she couldn't expect Noah Puckerman to be her platonic friend who showed concern and respect for her for any length of time. He was constantly thinking about sex.

Unfortunately, her association with him was leading her to think about sex more often too.

Which was unacceptable.

And in her efforts to ignore Noah again, she found herself in the grocery store on a Saturday evening, running into the two nicest people she really didn't want to see.

"Rachel! How are you doing?" exclaimed Carol.

"Long time, no see," grinned Burt.

"Oh, yes. Hello, Mr—Burt, Carol. I'm fine, how are you?"

"We're just shopping for some heart-healthy meals—The only way to get Burt to eat something good for him is if I can remind him that he agreed to eat it when we were at the store together." They exchanged annoyed glances playfully.

"Well, I won't interrupt your shopping," Rachel said, hoping to extract herself quickly.

Burt and Carol looked at each other again, and then Carol spoke up. "Rachel, would you join us for dinner tonight? Kurt will be there, but Finn…he's on a date, so it would be a great time if you're interested…if you don't already have plans…"

"No, I don't have plans. No Saturday night date for me," Rachel sighed.

"Oh, great!" Carol clapped. "Well, not great that you don't have a date, but great that you're free," Carol fumbled.

So it was settled. Rachel was taking her bean curd and making her own vegan-stir fry while the rest of the Hudson-Hummels had chicken stir-fry.

There were definitely awkward moments—like when Kurt first saw Rachel there; and when Carol mentioned that Kurt hasn't had Rachel or Mercedes over much lately, but it seemed best to have the girls over on different nights.

But they ended up having a reasonably nice meal, and certainly better than the meal Rachel was planning on having alone and miserable. After dinner, Rachel and Kurt went to his room to talk and paint her nails from Kurt's supply.

…

Finn's phone rang during his date with Santana, just as they were leaving Breadstix. She glared at him but let him answer it when he told her it was his mom. He wasn't on the phone long, just nodding and saying 'ok'.

"So, Mom said we should stay out late…because Rachel's there for dinner and hanging out with Kurt. Something about running into her at the store and inviting her because she looked sad."

Santana clenched her jaw. "I thought I was winning," she muttered.

"Huh?"

"Oh, nothing." Santana smiled slowly. "That just means we get to stay out past your curfew—courtesy of sad Rachel Berry." She slithered her body against his and stretched to wait for his kiss.

Finn bent down to grant her unspoken demand. "Yeah, cool."

…

Kurt and Rachel made small talk about nail polish colors before he finally addressed the elephant in the room.

"Rachel, I'm sorry I freaked out on you when you walked in…I know it was an accident."

"Thank you, Kurt," she said simply. She didn't want to push her luck.

"And thank you for not saying anything to anyone."

She nodded and studied her nails.

Kurt was surprised she didn't start in on him about Dave. She looked so uncomfortable—like she really wanted to say something, so Kurt decided to make the first move.

"You see, I'm still in love with Blaine, but Dave Karofsky reached out to me…as a friend. And I know that's crazy because of what a bully he was…"

"Kurt, it's me you're talking to," she reminded. "I'm the one who dated my biggest attacker, Noah Puckerman." She hoped that would help him feel comfortable and bond with her. She didn't need to bring up her latest dramas.

"Good point," Kurt nodded. "Speaking of which, I was proud to hear that you were the one who broke his heart!" he chuckled.

"What?" she squeaked.

"You know, after Puck picked glee over football and you broke up with him—he finally admitted it—that _you_ broke up with _him_ and that _you_ were _using him_ for Finn. He said he didn't care because you're hot—although he was more vulgar, I assure you. But I could tell…you're a little heartbreaker, Rachel," he grinned, falling back into their friendship surprisingly easily.

Rachel was stunned by this revelation. She needed to file that away to ponder later. For now, she wanted to deflect attention. "I'm sure I've never been called a heartbreaker in my life, Kurt. But I was intending to relate my situation with Noah to yours with…Kar- Dave. I'm sure you thought the brief phenomenon that was Puckleberry was bizarre at the time, but everyone got over it—almost like it never even happened. People may surprise you in their acceptance of…your friendship."

"Yeah, you two together, that was really bizarre," he agreed. "But maybe not as bizarre as forgiving someone who threatened to kill you."

"True. How did you even…respond to him? How did he contact you?"

"He wrote me this long email apology. And I could tell he was sincere and really troubled. I asked Dad what I should do. He said it was up to me, but that maybe I had an opportunity to make something good come out of all of the hate and fear. So I did—I wrote him back. And then we just, stayed in touch. It was weird at first, but now…I feel like I'm a mentor, like I'm really helping," Kurt was almost beaming. "Did you know Dave can sing? He's in an acapella group at college, and he said it's because of me!"

"Wow, Kurt, that's amazing," she smiled.

"Yeah…I just haven't really said anything to anyone about it. I'm not used to feeling like I can assist with anything beyond fashion advice, you know? And Blaine…Blaine doesn't really ever _need_ anything," he finished quietly.

Rachel was so moved by his admission—and his circumstance.

"I know what you mean, I think. It's validating to feel like you have something to give…that you're needed."

"Yes!"

"I'm sure Blaine felt that way about you too at first—that it was nice to feel that you needed him. But now you're more confident and don't need him for that role as much, right? Now you two are more like equals?"

He nodded grudgingly.

"But you know what else?" she continued. "I think you'll feel better if you can be honest with Blaine. It doesn't mean that you have to end your friendship with…Dave. I think that if you tell Blaine how you feel like he doesn't need anything out of your relationship, then he will prove you wrong. I'm sure that you actually provide him some strength too. …Not that you need to take my advice," she added carefully.

"No, thanks, Rachel. That actually makes sense. How'd you get so smart about relationships?"

"Through a series of failures," she joked, but her smile wavered and her eyes filled with tears.

"Oh, sweetie!" Kurt exclaimed, opening his arms and pulling her into a hug. "I'm sorry. I've been such a lousy friend lately. Do you want to talk about it?"

She took a shuddering breath and shook her head. "Not yet, but thank you. I'm a bit like Blaine, I think. It takes me a while to let my guard down and admit that I don't have it all together. Now you know I don't have it together, but I'm not ready to talk about why. You understand, don't you?"

He did. "But, hon, I already knew you didn't have it all together."

She rolled her eyes and sniffled. "Of course. I've been a mess for a while now."

"Yes, you have," he agreed bluntly.

They were interrupted by Rachel's phone buzzing. She glanced at it and quickly silenced it.

Kurt raised a curious eyebrow. "What was that, Missy?"

She shook her head no and grabbed her phone tightly, but in spite of what he'd just been through; Kurt had no respect for boundaries of others.

He pried the phone out of her hand and looked at the screen.

"What is this?"

Rachel blushed.

"Oh. My. Ga-" Rachel's hand clamped over his mouth.

"Kurt, don't say one word! To anyone!" she exclaimed.

He nodded and she moved her hand.

"So I guess we both have secrets," Kurt said in wonder. He couldn't believe what he'd just seen. Puck had texted Rachel—that wouldn't be _so_ crazy—but what he said was _CRAZY_.

_B im srry. Thnx again 4 CIM. Srsly need 2cu 2nite. Pls come over._

"I guess I'm ready to talk now," Rachel sighed.

"Let's start with: What's CIM? Is that some secret sex abbreviation I haven't heard of yet?"

"Kurt!"

…

…

Puck bought a pearl bracelet for Rachel that weekend. It didn't cost much at all, but he still thought it was pretty or whatever. He really hoped this would make up for whatever he kept doing to piss her off.

Damn. He'd never worked this hard for a girl ever.

…

On Monday, Puck made his move. Unfortunately, the moment didn't arrive until glee at the end of the day, and the rose he bought her was drooping. He walked right up to Rachel in front of the whole class (minus whoever hadn't shown up yet).

"I got you this to apologize for being an ass. Sorry, it's been in my locker," he said as he held out the wilting rose.

Rachel took it wordlessly, stunned by the surreal moment.

"But maybe this will make up for it." He produced the small velvet box from his pocket. When Rachel didn't move, he opened the lid, revealing the tiny pearl bracelet inside. "See, your song said you didn't get roses and pearls, right? So that's what I got you. To show you that I listen—that I care. Do you forgive me?"

Kurt put his hand on his heart, completely amazed. But then he pulled himself together to support Rachel, who did not seem to be melting like he was. He glared at Puck.

"What do you think you're doing?" Kurt demanded. "You can't buy forgiveness. You have to earn it."

Puck ignored Kurt and looked at Rachel hopefully. "Rachel? Well?"

Her hands trembled as she reached for the box and admired the pearls and the grand gesture of it all. The tears fell but she shook her head vehemently. "No…I'm sorry, this is lovely, really. But no."

No? WTF?

At least she kept the bracelet as she ran out of the choir room.

Kurt was astonished, alternating between staring at the door and at Puck. The glee club members were buzzing, and Kurt was about to run after Rachel when something interesting happened, and he figured he should pay attention for Rachel's sake.

"Lopez!" Puck bellowed. He didn't care if everyone heard. "Can you tell me what the fuck just happened?"

"I'm as shocked as you are," she said.

He could tell she meant it.

"I'll take care of it," she stated as she headed out of the music room.

"Why?" he asked in wonder.

"I don't even know. Just sit down and shut up."

When Will came into the choir room, he noticed right away that Rachel was missing—again.

"Anyone know where Rachel is?" he asked exasperated. Then he was confused. "And _Santana_?"

…

"Rachel!" Santana called. "What was that about? Not that I really care, but you're one hard bitch if you didn't think that was the most romantic thing Noah Puckerman has ever done—for anybody! And I might not know the details, but if all he's apologizing for is that crack about you in class, then I think you need to tone it down on the melodramatics."

Unsure why she was being honest with Santana of all people, Rachel answered her. "It _was_ the most romantic thing ever. I've never had anything like that—even my Finn necklace I ordered myself—of course I got rid of that," she said quickly, realizing who she was talking to.

Santana nodded impatiently. "And?"

"And I need to protect myself from that kind of behavior."

"What?"

"How can I know that tomorrow he won't give Quinn a dozen roses and a diamond?"

Santana nodded. "That's doubtful, but I think I understand."

"Can I go now?" she pleaded.

"Yeah. Good luck, Rachel."

Rachel didn't bother asking what the luck was for—she thought she knew.

…

When Santana returned to glee, she told Schue that Rachel was sneezing uncontrollably and didn't want to infect anyone. She glared around the room, daring anyone to contradict her.

"Well?" Puck asked anxiously.

"Hang back—she'll come around. Just don't stick your head up Quinn's ass for a while."

"As if I would."

She smirked at him. "I know."

"Shut up," he whispered. Her advice hadn't worked so far, but it was all he had. Still, he wasn't sure if he could sit back and do _nothing_. He had to do _something_.

…

…

Tuesday was miserable for both Puck and Rachel. Everyone in the glee club wondered what was going on after the craziness of yesterday.

Puck had no idea what the fuck had gone wrong, so he had nothing to say.

Rachel skipped rehearsal to avoid…everything.

She had no idea how to keep herself from swooning over him. She put her emotions into her individual rehearsal with Mr. Schuester that evening after glee, singing _Jar of Hearts_.

She didn't realize that Puck slipped into the auditorium, skipping football practice, so he could try to talk to her after she finished.

_I know I can't take one more step towards you  
Cause all that's waiting is regret  
And don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore  
You lost the love I loved the most_

I learned to live half a life  
And now you want me one more time  
  
Chorus: _And who do you think you are  
Running 'round leaving scars  
Collecting your jar of hearts  
And tearing love apart  
You're gonna catch a cold  
From the ice inside your soul  
So don't come back for me  
Who do you think you are_

I hear you're asking all around  
If I am anywhere to be found  
But I have grown too strong  
To ever fall back in your arms

And learn to live half a life  
And now you want me one more time

Chorus

_Dear, it took so long just to feel alright  
Remember how to put back the light in my eyes  
I wish I had missed the first time that we kissed  
Cause you broke all your promises  
And now you're back  
You don't get to get me back  
_  
Chorus

_And who do you think you are  
Running 'round leaving scars  
Collecting your jar of hearts  
And tearing love apart  
You're gonna catch a cold  
From the ice inside your soul  
Don't come back for me  
Don't come back at all_

Who do you think you are?  
Who do you think you are?  
Who do you think you are?

"Rachel, that was very powerful," Mr. Schue spoke into the microphone. "Was that all because of Finn?"

"Finn?"

"I know it's none of my business, but I noticed that he started dating Santana soon after the two of you broke up, so I assumed that you're drawing from your emotional experiences. What _is_ my business is your absences at Glee rehearsals, so I wonder if you're having personal problems associated with your break-up with Finn."

"It's just a song, Mr. Schuester."

"But you're crying, Rachel."

"I'm very method." She wiped her eyes, angry at their betrayal.

Will decided not to push. "Well, whatever you're doing, it's working. Good job. Just make sure you keep coming to rehearsals for Sectionals."

"Thank you, I will. I appreciate you taking time to help me."

"I'm happy to, Rachel, really."

Rachel gave him a pained smile as she left.

…

Puck for once showed restraint. He didn't follow her.

He felt like shit, but he didn't know exactly why. He did know he hated seeing her cry, and he was pretty sure she wasn't crying over Finn.

It didn't help when Sarah started in on him at dinner. Their mom was actually home instead of working, so they were gathered at the table instead of in front of the tv.

"When's Rachel coming back?" his sister asked.

"Rachel? Rachel Berry?" Deb Puckerman's eyes lit up. "Are you two seeing each other again, Noah?"

"No, Mom," he rolled his eyes. "She just came over a few times to help me with stuff. School stuff."

She raised an eyebrow skeptically. "Really, Noah?"

"Yeah, really. Sorry to disappoint you. It was for college applications though, so maybe you'll be glad to hear that," he finished sourly.

"Really?" Deb turned to her left. "What do you think, Sarah?"

Sarah nodded. "I think he's telling the truth. I even walked in on them once in Noah's room—and he was actually at his computer! At his desk! And then, later, he was practicing guitar with her. And it was really Noah playing! And he was really good!"

Deb smiled. "That's great news, sweetie! I'm so glad you're taking college applications seriously!"

"Yeah, don't sound so surprised," he grumbled.

"I'm just happy," she beamed. "Of course, I know you have so much potential if you'd just apply yourself, Noah."

"Yeah, yeah," he shifted uncomfortably.

"Well, what's wrong, dear?"

He shrugged. "I guess I'm just stressed out about it all. I'm gonna go to my room."

Deb and Sarah watched him go, both concerned.

Deb looked at her daughter. "What do you really think?"

"I think she really was helping him. But I think they like each other too. They must have had a fight or something, so he's sad."

"Oh, my poor Noey. Rachel Berry would be so good to straighten him out—such a nice Jewish girl."

Puck overheard them and almost came back down stairs to refute his sister's claim that he liked Berry. Or at least say they don't like each other—she somehow hated him now. But instead of returning to the kitchen, he just kept going to his room.

How did he get used to her so quickly that he actually missed her? It wasn't just missing her body—even though he really, really missed her body—he just missed _her_. Like that day she was so proud of him for his song on the guitar—before he fucked everything up—that was like one of the best moments he'd had in a long time.

Why was he such a fuck up?

He had to _do something_.

So he did.

…

…

He caught up with her in the hallway on her way to glee on Wednesday. "I miss you, Rachel. Do you miss me?" he asked softly.

She brushed by him, hoping he'd go away. She really wanted to make it through today's rehearsal without tears or early exits.

"Hold up, B. Wait. I did some research. On contracts." That's right, she turned around. He nodded with pride in his strategy. "Yeah…so I think your early termination should be _invalidated_."

She rolled her eyes and sighed. "You have one minute to state your case."

Puck didn't waste time arguing. "Your terms were too vague. I didn't realize that a kindergarten joke about _opposite day_ would, you know, violate your terms. The contract should pretty much be voided by like, an outside party or whatever. And that means that you were outta line to just up and leave me without a warning." He finished, proud of his logic. "That's right," he nodded. "I figured out some legal shit too."

Rachel was slightly impressed in spite of _really_ not wanting to be. It helped that he not only used some legal phrases (even if his argument wasn't entirely logical), but he said one thing: _leave me without a warning_. That's what stopped her. Those words made her heart beat faster. She tried to reign in her emotions.

"I'll consider your argument," she said primly with a nod.

"Dude, you're not the judge! We're like, equal partners!"

"Don't call me dude!" she huffed, looking up at him defiantly.

Her lower lip was all pouty. Fuck this shit. He grabbed her and kissed her.

Rachel was completely surprised by this in-school display of affection. At first, she was mad—she balled up her fists to pummel him. He continued unphased—just kissed her harder and tightened his grip on her waist. After a few moments she stopped fighting it and wrapped her arms around his neck. She knew this is what she really wanted anyway. She was weak when it came to Noah Puckerman. So weak.

"Don't ever leave me without a warning again," he whispered vehemently.

Without thinking about the consequences, Rachel responded with a nod. "Maybe we need…to incorporate a warning system." That's not what she meant to say! "We definitely need to talk after school."

Puck nodded. He was just glad she agreed to come back.

He didn't really think about the significance of the way he fought to get her back in his life.

Rachel did.

…

…

It didn't take long for word to get around that Puckleberry had been resurrected. Both Puck and Berry claimed it was just friendship, but the truth was obvious. Maybe not to everyone, but at least Santana knew she didn't have to worry about Rachel Berry making a play for Finn anytime soon.

And when Santana saw Rachel's dreamy smile while she touched the pearl bracelet and the way Puck grinned as he watched her from across the music room, she couldn't help the smile that flickered on her lips. For just an instant, she let herself almost pretend that she had something to do with that moment—and that she'd done it for the right reasons.

…

**A.N.** Don't worry; I know Puckleberry has a long way to go. This was necessarily a long chapter (to get the ending I wanted from Santana's point of view), but I'll be filling in the gaps.


	11. Homecoming

**Ch. 11. Homecoming**

**A.N.** Thanks so much for your reviews—you're really inspiring me to keep up the work of writing this story even when I get busy or brain-blocked!

I got a few signed reviews and some unsigned reviews asking for a return to smut, so I hope you enjoy. I can't promise smut in every chapter though ;) Smut-avoiders look out at the end.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Glee or anything familiar.

…

His arms felt like home to her. But she had a lot to consider.

First they were going to be late for glee. They didn't take time to agree on what to say to the others. Rachel walked in and sat next to Kurt, while Puck kept walking to sit across the room next to Artie.

"Why haven't you been answering your phone?" Kurt asked through gritted teeth.

"We'll talk later," she whispered back.

Kurt had been trying to reach Rachel for nearly two days now. It was just like her—she's so utterly annoying and boring forever (with some helpful advice thrown in on occasion), and then suddenly she's surrounded by drama—and _that's_ when she decides to disappear. Well, she was still in school, but he couldn't talk to her openly about everything there. He'd been trying to tell her about the exchange between Puck and Santana—the one that implied Santana had something to do with Puck's forgiveness offering of a sad wilted rose and a quaint pearl bracelet. But Rachel wasn't answering her phone, so he had to resort to texting her the information. He thought she'd want to know, even if he didn't really know what to make of the whole situation—which is why Rachel needed to answer her damn phone!

Rachel was polite enough to text Kurt thanking him for his message, but she wasn't sure what to make of her situation either—or the fact that Noah may have turned to Santana for advice. Santana had been helping her, so perhaps she had been helping him too. She knew that Santana would only be helpful if there was something in it for her. But it seemed like she really had some sort of actual feelings for Finn, so maybe it was all in an effort to get Rachel a boyfriend and out of the picture with Finn.

Of course, it was hard to imagine that _Santana_ considered _Rachel_ competition for anything, but Rachel couldn't come up with anything else, and she had higher priorities to resolve.

And Kurt wasn't giving up either. He elbowed her again during their warm-up vocals. "At least give me a hint about what's going on with you lately!"

Rachel nodded and had just the thing. She reached into her bag and put on the pearl bracelet.

Kurt's eyes widened. He couldn't wait to find out how she'd gone from running out of the room in tears to wearing Puck's bracelet.

Unfortunately, he did have to wait. And glee rehearsal seemed to drag on forever. He was ready to burst by the end and didn't even pause for privacy. "So, tell me what's going on with you and Puck!"

Rachel blushed at being called out in front of the remaining students. Santana dragged Finn to his feet and out of the room. (She knew enough already, and she didn't want Finn to start getting jealous—just in case.) Quinn followed Santana's lead and pulled Sam away. Though she was really curious…but she could ask one of the others afterward.

Tina spoke up. "Inquiring minds want to know," she prompted.

Rachel turned to her audience. "After further conversation, I have forgiven Noah, and we have decided to put aside our differences and work on being friends. Hopefully this unity will help us all act as a team for Sectionals," she added for good measure.

"Or at least have fewer interruptions," Mike pointed out.

Puck glared at him, and Mike shrugged back. "Hey, it was entertaining at all, but definitely disruptive."

Tina nodded in agreement.

"Whatever,"Puck grunted. "We've got football practice." He headed out of the room, but decided it wouldn't hurt to say out loud what he was going to text to Rachel anyway.

"See you after, right? My house?"

Rachel nodded and graced him with a brilliant smile.

At Mike's questioning look, Puck shrugged. "Audition stuff," he said as he walked out of the room.

Kurt's eyes were as wide as they had ever been. "My house first!" he demanded.

…

Rachel followed Kurt home for a more detailed discussion of the most recent events in her tangled relationship with Noah Puckerman. She tried to explain the change, but she could barely piece it together herself. How had she wound up in Noah Puckerman's arms in the hallway one minute, singing in glee rehearsal the next, and agreeing to meet him after his football practice that night?

"We're at least friends…We're going to discuss our status tonight," she told Kurt. And it wasn't long before she left for the Puckerman house to figure out what the two of them were really doing—and to get her own thoughts in order on the subject..

…

"Rachel!" Sarah lunged at her and gave her a fierce hug. Rachel was completely taken aback considering how the girl typically seemed more interested in the Disney channel than her presence.

"Sarah! Your reaction is flattering and surprising."

Sarah stepped back and shrugged. "Well, when you stopped coming over, Noah was really sad—and grumpy."

Puck shot her a dirty look, but when he saw Rachel's surprise turn into a beaming smile, he figured the ego blow might be worth it.

"Leave us alone, squirt," he told his sister gruffly. "Rach and I have a lot of work to catch up on."

Sarah nodded a little too knowingly. "Uh-huh."

Puck grabbed Rachel's hand and she followed him upstairs.

"We have a lot to discuss," she said. She was shocked when he pushed her lightly against the door and locked it, pressing against her.

"Kiss now, talk later," he said as he proceeded to do just that.

As much as she wanted to give into his demand and get lost in his arms, his lips; she couldn't repeat her past mistakes of letting her physical urges win over her emotional needs.

She pushed him back, and of course he was a gentleman enough to stop.

"I'm sorry, Noah. We have to talk first and determine if there will be any kissing later," she said firmly.

He shrugged. "It was worth a shot. Can I say right now that I vote 'yes' to kissing?"

She couldn't help the slight smile that crept onto her face. "Wait to hear what I say first, in case you change your mind."

Puck figured he wouldn't change his mind, but Rachel had that look in her eyes that made it clear she wasn't going to take no for an answer, so he didn't bother to keep arguing. "Ok, what do you have to say?" he asked as flopped down on his bed to get comfortable for what was sure to be one of Rachel's trademark long speeches.

Rachel paced in his room as she tried to articulate her feelings and how she and Noah should proceed.

Puck sat on his bed, amused and slightly scared by her intensity. He tried to listen and understand…at first. But she was saying all of this stuff and some of it didn't make sense with some of the other stuff. She finally stopped for a moment and said, "So what do you think?"

"Uh…can you maybe go over the main points again?"

She sighed and agreed. "Maybe it would help if I type these out so that we can see them. I admit that I'm a bit wound up and scatter-brained; it's very unlike me." She settled next to him on his bed and opened her laptop. She spoke as she typed what she thought were the most important points to distill from the turmoil she'd been going through for all this time.

"First, I have concluded that I cannot continue the physical relationship we started without an _Emotional Connection and Commitment_."

Puck's eyes widened at those words staring at him from her screen, but he figured it would be best to keep his mouth shut until after she finished.

"But that is keeping in mind that senior year is a finite period after which we'll go our _Separate Ways_," she said.

"So…doesn't that clash with the first one…about…commitment?" Puck asked cautiously. This shit was freaking him out but he didn't want to scare her off either—he just got her back.

"That's a very good question and observation, Noah," she said matter-of-factly. Puck rolled his eyes at the teacher-vibe she was giving off, but then he started thinking about her as a hot librarian, and he was all good.

"Let me clarify," Rachel started. "We both know that this arrangement is temporary considering our futures in different states after this year. And that's not to say that I expect that we'll necessarily continue our relationship for the entirety of our senior year. But I do want an emotional connection with the boy I choose to be physically intimate with—and I think we have started to build one—even though you often insist on tearing it down. I'm willing to build it up again. But I'm digressing again. The point is that I've decided I'm not comfortable with the idea that we'll…have sex in the near future…but then the minute Quinn snaps her fingers you'll drop me like a bad habit—or whatever the appropriate phrase would be."

"Uh, I know you said you were explaining this shit, but could you maybe just say what exactly you want from me?"

She sighed. "Yes, I'm sorry. I'm working it out in my head too." She couldn't blame him for asking. She was implying that she wanted him to be her boyfriend, but at the same time she wasn't sure that was exactly what she wanted either. She really did need to protect her heart from falling too deep when they were destined to be separated.

"Ok, here is what I want from you," she began typing a new list.

_1) Friendship_

"That's easy, B. Done."

"Great!" she said brightly. "If you can be a good friend to me, then I'll be a good friend to you. That would be along the lines of my friendship with Kurt or Sam I guess would be more fitting."

Puck narrowed his eyes.

"That means that if you can follow the first item, then we will be friends—no…sexual activities," she explained. "For a more advanced relationship, I require more."

"Ok, what do you _require_ for us to get back on track for the Puckerman Experience?"

Rachel blushed and cleared her throat.

_2) Feelings _

"You have to care about me," she said softly. "And you have to show it," she said more confidently.

"Baby, I care about you," he whispered as he reached to set her laptop aside and grab her hand. "You have to know that." He ran his thumb along the pearl bracelet on her wrist.

"You're good at showing mixed signals, Noah. You shouldn't expect that I would know your true feelings unless you tell me. I might guess, I might hope, but I can't know unless you tell me. Repeatedly."

"Well, I'm telling you, _again_. Rachel, I care about you. I missed you so fucking much and tried like hell to get you to forgive me."

His hazel eyes looked so green and sincere—it was breathtaking. She nodded and tried to get a hold of herself. "I forgive you."

"And?" he prompted.

She furrowed her brow in puzzlement.

"Didn't you miss me too?" he asked with a smirk.

She gave him her exasperated look but couldn't stop her smile. "Yes, I missed you too—a little. I was mostly mad at you. But I have forgiven you…and there's something else I want…before…completing the Puckerman Experience as you call it."

She typed out the next line.

_3) Commitment_

"So this is the one that really makes me nervous," he admitted.

"I assumed as much."

"Well, then what does it mean to you exactly?"

"It doesn't have to mean you have to be my boyfriend for us to…fool around, but I'll definitely need some assurances…and I can't guarantee that my virginity is still part of the arrangement if I don't feel comfortable and safe."

"Hold up. This whole thing started with _you_ asking _me_ to take your virginity. Now you're backing out? Or you're holding it hostage unless I'm your boyfriend?" He looked at her incredulously.

"No! That's not what I'm saying!" Or maybe it was, but based on his reaction, she didn't want to admit it.

"Well?"

"I just can't…I can't give myself to you that way if I know that once I do you'll have no use for me and you'll just run to Quinn!" she admitted in a bitter exclamation. Her face was hot, and she miserably awaited his response to her outburst.

"I don't think you have to worry about that. Quinn's super pissed at me and I'm pissed at her too," he said bluntly. He didn't tell her he was still pretty deflated from his last run-in with Quinn.

"You _don't think_ I have to worry? I need more than that."

"Shit, B, it's not like I can promise my whole future to you just so I can get in your pants. Don't get me wrong, I wanna pop that cherry like I haven't wanted any girl's pussy before, but I don't think I'm ready to jump through a bunch of hoops like Quinn's lapdog Sam just to get your precious prize."

Rachel nodded resignedly. "Then Friends it is."

"Nope. You forgot we already established Feelings. That's got to earn me rights to at least Levels 1-3," he argued.

"We've only been through Phases 1 and 2," she protested nervously.

"That's right," he said slyly. "You still get to at least move to Phase 3 before you stop me from taking your big V."

Rachel thought about the pros and cons of agreeing to two out of three on her list. "So you're not still pursuing your plan to woo Quinn?" she asked hesitantly.

He smirked. "Not for now. I'm totally focused on _wooing you_." If the charming smile he flashed didn't win her over, he only had a few tricks left.

Fortunately, from the gleam in her eye, it looked like he'd be able to save those tricks for another day.

Rachel smiled a shyly. "Wooing me?"

"Yeah. So we can be friends, totally. But I'm also going to want more." As much as he could get. He set her laptop aside and ran his hand over her thigh. "Shit, B, don't fight this. We both want each other. Let's have something good in our lives again, ok?"

She flushed at his words and the way his hand was dangerously high. "I won't fight this—once we finish establishing our guidelines and boundaries." She pushed his hand down.

"What's worng with the original contract thingy?" he asked impatiently. "Can't we just go back to that?"

"You're the one who said it should be invalidated," she pointed out. "And you already violated once, what makes you think we should go back?"

"If we have a warning system or whatever you said earlier today, then I think that deal is still fine. You just have to warn me when I'm on thin ice and doing something to piss you off before you just walk out on me."

His words gave her pause every time. "Well…a warning seems possible to incorporate—a three strikes clause," she proposed.

"Yeah, sure," he bobbed his head.

"But I'm still not satisfied with the way the original contract allows you to just walk out on me," she emphasized.

"You mean on the off chance that Quinn does a 180 and forgets that she told me to move on and get over my daughter?"

Rachel could hear the pain in his voice. "Noah, I'm sorry you're hurting. Do you want to talk about it? That's what friends are for."

"Nah," he said. But then he started talking anyway. "She just said some shit about how she didn't want the reminder of Beth and that I should give up on a happy ending with Shelby and Beth."

Rachel bit her lip thoughtfully. "Quinn might have a point…but I understand why you'd be upset…"

"Forget it," Puck said, eager to change the subject. "We're fine on the friends stuff. Let's move on to the good stuff." He leaned over her on his bed.

Rachel almost forgot that they hadn't really finished setting boundaries. "But what about-?" she started.

"How's this? Come to Homecoming with me."

She gaped at him. "Considering that you're playing in the football game…Are you asking me to the _dance_…with you?"

"Yeah," he shrugged. "You down?"

"That's a very public expression of our…friendship."

"Shows some commitment, right?" Puck raised his eyebrow. With any luck, he could get some real action after a public display like that.

Rachel nodded with a shy smile. "It does."

"So, is that a yes?"

"I'll think about it…I might have to find something new to wear."

Puck rolled his eyes with a smile—such a girl thing. He just kissed her instead of talking about clothes. Finally kissing time instead of talking time.

Rachel didn't get through all of the points she wanted to discuss, but she was too caught up in the romance of the moment. She thought it just might be possible that Quinn could be moving farther out of the picture.

…

But maybe Rachel did have to worry about Quinn.

Puck's display of a rose and a bracelet really made Quinn curious. She already had Finn's version of what Sam had seen between them, so she decided to go to the source. She also wanted to see if Sam would admit to keeping that secret from her.

And of course, Sam did.

"So, Sam, it was really weird to see Puck being so nice to Rachel, right? It was almost…romantic. What do you think is going on there?" she asked with an attempt to sound casual.

Sam took a deep breath and spilled what he knew. "Yeah, it was weird…but there's something I need to tell you…I'm really sorry I didn't say anything before….I wasn't sure how you'd take the news."

And of course, Quinn forgave him. Unfortunately, his admission didn't really tell her more than what she already knew. Puck may or may not have something more than friendship going on with Rachel—in spite of his song indicating that he wanted to be with Quinn.

Not that she wanted to be Puck. At all. She was just…curious.

She asked around with the other Cheerios to find out if any of them had been with Puck lately or which girls they'd seen him with—and after a pretty exhaustive search she couldn't find anyone who'd actually been with him lately.

Could he be serious about changing?

For her?

Maybe he changed his mind after she yelled at him about Beth…And what about Rachel? What was going on there?

Quinn asked Mercedes what she missed when she and Sam left glee.

"Rachel made her little holier-than-thou announcement that she forgave Puck and they were friends now. She said something dumb about how it'd help club unity—that's when I walked out."

Mercedes rolled her eyes at the memory and Quinn nodded sympathetically. "Glad I missed it. Thanks for filling me in."

"Sure, Quinn. Later. Good luck with the Homecoming vote," she added with a smile.

"Thanks!" She smiled as she thought about how this is what she always wanted for her senior year: a popular and sweet boyfriend and her own popularity—demonstrated by winning Homecoming and Prom Queen titles.

With that smile on her face, she ran into an unsuspecting Puck.

He didn't seem happy to see her. He gave her an inscrutable look before continuing to walk by her.

"Puck, wait!"

Fortunately, he turned around and raised his eyebrow.

Quinn walked toward him. "I want to apologize for last week. I was a little harsh…I was having a bad day, and I shouldn't have taken it out on you."

"Thanks, Q," he said flatly.

Quinn decided to come right out and ask him. "So I'm a little confused about what's been going on with you lately…like with your so-called apology song to me…I asked around a little and it seems like you haven't been up to your usual ways…"

"So?"

"So, what does that mean? Are we friends? And what's with you and Rachel Berry?"

Puck was surprised by her interest, and he responded with the first thing he thought to say. "Yeah, we're friends—I'm your friend; I'm Rachel's friend; I'm a friendly guy," he shrugged. He was pretty clueless as to where this was going, but it was slowly dawning on him that his plan to make Quinn realize he wasn't going after other girls was working. Weird timing considering he was still pretty pissed at her.

Quinn nodded skeptically. "You tend to have a hard time just being friends with a girl."

"Maybe," he gave her a dismissive look. Then he added, "Of course I did ask Berry to the Homecoming dance, so I guess we'll see you there, _Friend_."

That felt good. He grinned as he left her staring.

…

Quinn was shocked—and a little angry. Though she wasn't sure who she was mad at—herself for caring? Puck for…_being Puck_? But she recognized that she _might_ be getting jealous—Why did Rachel Berry have to play such a bizarre role in her life? Not that she was considering Puck as a viable boyfriend or anything crazy like that. She just started wondering if she had been attracted (so long ago) to the danger Puck represented. Sam's so safe—like Finn had been. Though now that Finn's so much more experienced with Santana, he almost gives off a sense of danger too. Quinn wasn't sure what she was thinking except that she was angry and confused…and a little intrigued by Puck. It wasn't about the fact that Rachel seemed to have Puck. Or was it?

…

Later in the day, Puck was stopped again by one of his exes.

"Closet, now," Santana pushed him and caught him off guard enough that he stumbled through the open doorway.

"What the fuck, Lopez?" Puck grunted. Then he smiled in understanding. "You missing the Puckerone?"

Santana scowled at him. "This is business."

"I bet it is," he grinned. "Finn's not doing you like I do, huh?"

She shoved him backward. "Remember, I know what's going on with you: with Quinn and with Rachel," she pushed her finger into his chest. "And lucky for you, I'll keep it quiet if you help me."

"I don't know what you're talking about," he lied—poorly.

Santana rolled her eyes. "You have a couple of options. The idea is that I want to fuck with Quinn's head and shake up Ken and Barbie a little. Those two are inches away from winning Homecoming, so I need to be Prom Queen."

"Are you fucking serious? This is about being prom queen? That's like—forever away."

"Six months. And it's about victory," she said through gritted teeth. "So you can help by breaking up the perfect couple, which will probably take a couple months of work anyway. Besides, you can also give me one less thing to worry about by keeping Rachel occupied and away from Finn—he's been asking weird questions and I won't be able to keep my eye on that while I go after Q."

"Questions about Rachel?"

"Oh, just stupid questions like is it fair that she asked him to give up football; would I be mad at him if he didn't give something up for me. Anyway, _I'll _worry about that."

"So what exactly do you want me to do that's related to Rachel _and_ Quinn? Because I'm not really interested in getting shot down by Quinn again."

"Well, knowing what I do, I'm sure you can simultaneously keep Rachel occupied, kinda like you're already doing, while you make Quinn jealous as hell. And that will lead to ruining the perfect couple of Quinn and Sam."

"I'm pretty sure you're insane."

"Whatever. I'm a genius. If Quinn sees you with Rachel, it's gonna drive her crazy. Like bleeding from her eyeballs," Santana grinned evilly.

Puck raised an eyebrow, impressed momentarily until he came up with a flaw. "I know _you're_ a jealous bitch, so that shit would work on you, but it won't work with Quinn. She doesn't deal with jealousy—she dropped me as soon as she caught me sexting with you back in sophomore year. She definitely didn't get all wet for me over that shit."

"Oh you foolish boy," she shook her head. "All girls have a little jealous bitch inside, mine's just out and proud."

"No kidding."

She ignored him. "But what you don't realize is that she dropped you because you were a player. If you go all perfect boyfriend with Rachel Berry…she'll seriously have an aneurism or something." Santana's eyes gleamed with delight.

Puck had to admit, her logic seemed solid. "So…you're asking me to become Berry's boyfriend…like in public?"

She nodded. "I'm sure Berry will do back-flips at the news. So that's good for you in your sick little game. And Quinn will freak the fuck out, which is good for you too, apparently. And that's all good for me."

Puck nodded slowly as it was all sinking in. "Holy shit, Lo. You're a fuckin' genius."

"I told you," she said impassively.

"_Unfortunately_ for you, I don't really give a shit about breaking up Sam and Quinn."

Santana raised her eyebrow and regarded him angrily.

"But _lucky _for you, I'm one step ahead of you. I already asked Rachel to the Homecoming Dance," he said smugly.

"It's a start," Santana agreed.

He shrugged. "Yeah, she hasn't exactly said 'yes' yet; but I'm not too worried."

"Alright, Puckerman, I'll let you move at your own pace since you seem to be following the path I want," she regarded him with a mix of surprise and admiration. "But definitely consider the boyfriend idea—before Prom," she added.

"Yeah, yeah," he mumbled, shaking her off as he left the closet. But he was already thinking about it.

Seriously, how good would Rachel give it up if she was his real girlfriend? She pretty much told him already that if he was her boyfriend, they could have sex. The word _Commitment _was freaky, but he started to realize that's basically what he had agreed to in the contract—except for the whole end to the contract once Quinn realized what a mistake she'd made. So it's not like it would be that bad to do the whole boyfriend-girlfriend thing with Rachel. And if it was, that's what breaking up is for. If Quinn didn't get jealous like Santana said, he'd still have Rachel. And honestly, if it weren't for Quinn and Beth, he might think that Rachel was the best thing that had ever happened to him. So it was win-win, or win-win-win because of Santana's side. Whatever. He was gonna do it.

Now he just had to figure out how to ask her. How could he change this contract thing to a real (sorta fake) dating thing? He needed something good…something to sweep her off her feet.

And when he started coming up with ideas, the whole thing didn't seem so fake. He kinda didn't give a shit what that would mean for him and Quinn. He really wanted Rachel to say yes. For once, maybe they'd be together in public for longer than a week and she'd actually be proud of him.

Puck never could pinpoint the time when his drive switched from being about Quinn to being about Rachel.

But that's because he's an idiot.

…

The next day after football practice, Rachel came over again, and he decided to test out Santana's jealousy theory using Rachel as a substitute for Quinn. He didn't recognize the irony.

"So, Rachel, question for ya."

"Ok."

"Did you get upset seeing Finn acting all boyfriend-y with Santana after you two broke up?"

She was surprised at the emotionally-savvy (yet random) query. Maybe he really was trying to rebuild their emotional connection. She answered carefully but honestly. "I suppose I did feel hurt. At first. Then it stopped bothering me—probably because I was so wrapped up in our drama."

"I made you forget about Finn, huh?" he grinned.

"Definitely," she nodded rapidly.

She was so fucking cute. Puck forgot why he asked her the question in the first place and decided it was time for a make-out session.

Rachel didn't pause to ask him what brought that up.

…

Everything seemed to be going pretty well. Puck and Rachel's friendship (and more) was under the radar—like they often seemed to be—instead of causing any major drama. But that was shattered by Jacob's blog.

Santana was ecstatic—Jacob's blog arrived just in time. Who knew that little perv was still following Berry around? At least he compiled all of these video clips that made Rachel seem like she was all over every guy, _and_ the word spread about it in time for the Homecoming King and Queen vote. It was unfortunate that Finn was featured in the vlog, but at least he had the most innocent encounter of them all, and Santana wasn't too worried. She just hoped it didn't affect their chances of victory. But as long as she came out on top as Queen and Quinn lost, she'd be satisfied.

The video started with lots of random shots of Rachel, followed by the line: _Sneaky Hot and Gunning for the Most Ineligible Senior Guys?_ Then there was Rachel talking with Finn; Rachel talking, laughing, and whispering with Sam; and finally Rachel and Puck kissing in the hallway.

That one was the big shocker—at least for most viewers of that video.

Especially Quinn.

There was one of Jacob's signature stories about how the boyfriends of some of the most popular senior girls appeared to have romantic ties to Rachel Berry. And then the most sought-after guy in school hadn't been seen with any of his usual 'companions' but instead was caught making out with said sneaky-hot-slut. It ended with a warning for girls to hold on to their boyfriends and a plea for Rachel to finally reveal her sweater-puppies to Jacob before graduation separated them forever.

It was pretty sickening.

Santana couldn't have been happier.

Quinn was furious.

Rachel was mortified.

…

Puck did what he knew how to do, roll with the punches. He tried to calm Rachel down in her freak-out over the video. "Well, there's no hiding now, B. So come to Homecoming with me?"

"I'm not sure…I'm incredibly embarrassed by that slanderous video. I don't know if an appearance at the dance would be in my best interest."

"Aw, fuck all that, Rach. It's our _senior year_. Who cares about these jerkoffs? You know you want to get down on the dance floor with me—in front of everyone. C'mon, how great will that be?"

"Pretty great," she admitted softly.

"So you in?" he asked hopefully.

"I'm in," she beamed.

…

At McKinley the Homecoming dance was a fairly casual event, considering that the football players showered off in the locker room to join in the dance; it wasn't the suit and corsage affair of the prom. This was the first time Rachel bothered to go to the Homecoming dance since her freshman year when she was desperately trying to do every social event possible to fit in at school. She had to consult with Kurt regarding her wardrobe. This resulted in a shopping trip and selection of a 'casual yet sexy' dress for the occasion and filling in Kurt on as many details as Rachel could bear to admit out loud.

Then came the actual event. She sat next to Kurt and Blaine, and then Tina and Mercedes filed in behind them in the bleachers. Mercedes and Tina seemed unusually interested in Rachel—unsubtly trying to figure out if she really was going after Finn, Sam, and Puck (and maybe other senior guys) like Jacob's story said. So of course, sitting in the stands at the Homecoming game meant so much gossip and playing down rumors when all Rachel wanted to do was watch Noah play and cheer on the team.

At half-time of the game, the Homecoming Court was announced. In a bizarre twist probably influenced by perceptions from Jacob's blog and the fact that Quinn had been asking around about Puck, Santana was voted Queen and Sam was voted King.

Santana beamed with pride.

Sam looked at the crowd sheepishly as he stood in his football gear next to Santana in her Cheerios uniform.

From the side of the stage set up on the track, Finn and Quinn were both visibly disappointed with the outcome.

McKinley actually won the Homecoming game, so everyone was is pretty good spirits for the dance even though it was just a fairly lame event held in the school gym with a dj trying to relive his glory days from when he was a student there.

Rachel was nervous about the dance for good reason: more than a few hostile eyes were on her. But when she saw Noah walking toward her from the locker room, her fears abated slightly. It was hard to think of anything else when the olive shirt he wore made his eyes seem so green and the way he smiled at her took her breath away. "You look great,babe," he told her, looking her up and down.

"So do you," she replied sincerely. Not that he ever didn't look good.

"Ready to dance?" he asked as he held out his hand.

He warmed up with some patented glee twirls and soon enough he was actually grinding with Rachel freakin' Berry. And damn, she could move that little body. On the next slow song, he offered to get them both punch.

Rachel looked around for Kurt and Blaine, but they were busy enjoying their time on the dance floor, so she just waited patiently for Noah. She noticed several girls approach him at the refreshment table, and he fended them off. He returned proudly holding out the punch.

"It's a jungle over there, but I made it back to you," he grinned.

She thanked him for the punch and pointed out that he was free to dance with other girls.

"Don't wanna," he shrugged with a smirk. "I went through all the effort to tell the football team you were off-limits and threaten Jacob to keep his creepy ass away, so I'm not risking some dumbfuck I missed sweeping in thinking you really are…what Jacob said," he finished, realizing that maybe he should avoid repeating the term 'sneaky slut'.

Rachel was surprised and touched, but she played it down a bit. She smiled and batted her eyelashes. "My hero!" she said with the air of a Southern belle. But she was serious too, so she decided to make that clear. "That was truly sweet, Noah, and I really appreciate it."

"Yeah, well…" He looked slightly uncomfortable with the compliment. "I just knew you were worried about how people would react to that stupid video, so I figured I'd do what I could to help make you have a good night."

Her heart was about to burst—she loved this boy so much. She stretched to her tiptoes to kiss him gently. "Thank you, Noah."

He was pretty sure he needed to make out with her. Like now. So he did.

And she let him. Sweet! She always was up for a make-out session.

"Wanna get outta here?" He whispered as his hands slid down her sides and stopped to massage her hips.

She nodded, and they proceeded to leave the dance floor with matching grins on their faces.

Finn and Sam noticed and both felt pangs of hurt for different reasons, but they did admirable jobs of covering their emotions.

The gym doors opened and slammed closed behind Puck and Rachel.

Santana was expecting something like that.

Quinn was annoyed on several levels.

Rachel was walking on air.

…

"This night has been amazing, Noah, thank you," she smiled sweetly at him in the parking lot.

"It's not over yet," he told her suggestively as he opened the passenger side door of his truck.

"So the truth comes out—you want something in return for your good behavior," she said playfully.

Puck was relieved to hear that tone in her voice instead of the pissed tone he realized could have come next. "But I was really good tonight, right?" he smiled and raised his eyebrows in anticipation of her answer.

"Yes, you really were." She wasn't going to fight this. She wanted to forget about the hurt. She wanted to hope. She just wanted to stop thinking and let herself enjoy the moments she had. She leaned to kiss him just as he was turning the key in the ignition.

That was all the opening Puck needed. He returned her kiss and automatically started laying her down in the seat. Reflexively he cradled her head in his hand and guided her hips as he pressed himself against her. He'd probably done this a million times.

Rachel hadn't.

"What are we doing?" she asked when she could pull her lips away from his.

"Whatever we want, baby," he smirked as his hand slid up her thigh.

"Here?" she squeaked.

"You have a better idea?" He propped himself up a little to look her in the eye, but he kept inching his hand higher…now he was toying with her panties.

"Your house?"

"Can't. Mom's home, the runt's home; no good." Then he knew the answer. "Let's go to the park. Then you don't have to worry…about what you're worrying about. People seeing us, right?"

She nodded and bit her lip. "Ok…thanks."

Puck gave her a quick peck and hurried to start the truck. He wanted to get to the park before she changed her mind.

Rachel sat up and buckled her seat belt, fidgeting nervously.

On the way he kept glancing at her. "Calm down, B. It's just you and me."

That's what worried her. She wasn't sure how far he'd try to go…and how far she'd let him. Why did he have to be so charming? And gorgeous. She could barely wait—and this lack of control irritated her to no end.

The park was quiet and deserted. They looked at each other: Rachel glancing at him shyly; Puck eyeing her hungrily. They unbuckled their seat belts and took off their coats, with grins that didn't fade as they started to kiss.

This time Puck settled back and positioned Rachel on top of him. He figured she'd be more comfortable that way instead of laying her head against the door the way he was. Plus she was tiny. He was actually really comfy with her body pressing down on him.

He ran his hands back and forth over her. Damn, that ass was so perfect. He grazed her boobs and decided to stay there for a while. She moaned into his lips as his thumbs caught her just right. He almost lost it. He couldn't help the way he started thrusting against her, erection straining in his pants. He wished he could just go for it, but he knew this wasn't the right time.

But when she unzipped his pants he thought maybe it _was_ the right time.

No, he knew it wasn't the right time for her. But he wasn't gonna say no to whatever Rachel was up for—not when she was stroking his cock like her life depended on it and kissing him like the world would end if she stopped.

He was glad she was wearing a dress.

"You're so wet for me, baby," he breathed as he let his fingers enter where he wished his dick could be.

She gasped in surprise and hopefully pleasure. She arched back just enough that she seemed to be inviting him to go to town on her tits—if he could get to them.

"Take off your bra," he told her hoarsely. He was grateful that she did even though it meant she stopped stroking him for those few seconds. She shimmied it out through her dress somehow and looked at him anxiously. He wasted no time. She let out a little shriek of surprise when he tried to go head first up her dress to reach her boobs. If he could just get a little farther, he could almost lick…

She pulled her dress back down so he was outside, staring at the purple fabric that was in his way.

"I think this will work better," she suggested in a whisper.

To his surprise, she actually popped out a boob for him! His eyes widened and the biggest grin erupted before his lips changed their shape as he tried to go for the elusive boob-gasm. And his fingers were downstairs to help in that department.

The noises she was making were fucking hot and egging him on—and he was pretty close to getting off the way she was working him.

Rachel was quivering and writhing and could barely control her movements. She didn't mean to moan so much, but she couldn't really help it. And his groans back told her that she was doing something right. And then…and then…

"Rach, I'm gonna-" he managed to get out before he put his hand on hers to stop her motion. She slid her hand to the base of his penis and felt the undulation as he came.

She shivered and burned at the same time.

There was a mess all over his beautiful green shirt. She wished she would have made him take it off, but it was October and cold—and she had been so caught up she didn't even think about the fact that she had actually missed out on viewing his abs in all their glory.

Next time.

She blushed at her thoughts about their next encounter and scooted off of him.

"Your poor shirt," she said sadly.

"Just a shirt," he shrugged.

"But I love you in that shirt!" she exclaimed. "It makes your eyes look so green!" Then she realized what she had said.

He was smirking at her.

At least he wasn't running away screaming.

"Guess I'll have to try to get the stains out," he grinned. "Or buy a new one this color. It would be a shame to ruin the shirt you love me in," he finished teasingly.

She scowled at him but couldn't keep down her grin. Fortunately, she had enough sense not to say the words that came to mind next. _I love you in any shirt, definitely without a shirt, I just love you_. "Yes, it's a shame to ruin a perfectly good shirt. And it's fortunate that I stopped you before you tore my dress to shreds. Honestly, Noah-"

He cut her off with a kiss. "Sorry about that. I wasn't really thinking about anything except your boobs."

She rolled her eyes and straightened her dress. She shivered in the cold night air and reached for her coat. He took that as another signal. He put on his coat too and turned the ignition to get the heat going in the truck. He leaned over and pulled her against him.

"Let's sit for a few minutes and warm up—now that we've cooled down."

She settled into the warmth of his arms around her and leaned back against his chest. "This feels nice," she murmured.

"Yeah, I know." He held her tighter.

They sat together for awhile but the clock shining at them in the dark put an end to their night.

"It's getting late, huh? We could try to sneak into my house or I can take you home," he offered.

Of course she asked him to take her home.

He decided this night was so great, he didn't want to ruin it by asking the big boyfriend question without having some grand gesture or something. He didn't want her to think he was just pushing her for sex. He could wait a little while longer.

When he dropped her off at her house, and headed down the street to go home, he really wished she could've stayed the night with him instead.

He already missed the way she felt with her body pressed against his.

…

**A.N.** Thanks to **Karma22** who made me think of Jacob from an email ;) Also, I warn you that I have a big deadline in real-life on Thursday, and that may slightly delay the completion of the next update. But I don't think the delay will be too long.


	12. Sidelines and Coded Messages

**Ch. 12 Sidelines and Coded Messages **

**A.N.** Thanks everyone for your patience! Thanks to **lovesreading** for some suggestions that made it into this chapter (some of which were coming anyway and some I hadn't originally considered—sparking the dinner party)!

And beware that some of this got a little darker than I intended (like before the dinner party), but I decided it felt honest. Some of you might not even think there's anything dark here, but for those who do, don't freak out—the whole story isn't going dark. It's still the mix of plot and emotion, and sexytimes.

Avoiders, there's a major mature scene post-dinner-party… This is sorta what some of you have asked for, but not quite. It's still probably the…most mature…scene I've written so far. You've been warned.

For the song used in this chapter, add the following to the youtube address (or check my author profile for the full link):

/user/novice242?feature=mhsn#p/a/f/0/GKHx3wJk6Zw

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Glee, any songs, or anything familiar.

…

While Rachel and Puck were feeling pretty good about their Homecoming experience, several of their classmates were feeling pretty bad.

Finn had been doing some thinking, but not the kind that happened on purpose; instead it was like the thoughts forced themselves on his brain out of nowhere. It sucked. Whenever he saw Puck with Rachel, bad memories were triggered from back when Rachel cheated on him with that Mohawked traitor. He was content to stay pissed about that forever. But then Puck said something awhile ago about how he had chosen glee over football—basically for Rachel; and that made Finn remember when Rachel asked him to do the same thing. It's like she had been testing him to see if he'd make the same choice Puck had—and Finn had failed. Of course, that was a really crappy thing to ask, and Rachel had no right to ask it. But still…the idea that Puck had done that, even if it didn't turn out to matter or last or anything…it was kinda making him re-think Noah Puckerman.

It made his head hurt.

So maybe it wasn't the best idea to start asking Santana stuff—she was really smart and suspicious and a little crazy.

It seemed like every girl he knew was a little crazy.

When he saw Puck and Rachel totally grinding and sucking face at the Homecoming dance, followed by Puck guiding her off of the dance floor and out of the gym, that familiar feeling of hurt mixed with jealousy pinched his heart. He knew he had something special with Rachel once—and he knew that was long gone.

But maybe he hadn't given Puck enough credit. Maybe somewhere deep down that asshole really did like Rachel.

Maybe.

And maybe somewhere deep down Finn wanted Rachel to be happy.

And maybe he also wouldn't mind if she got a little hurt too the way she had hurt him—even though that was really unfair and spiteful and terrible and everything bad.

Santana would probably understand why he felt that way. She understood complicated emotional stuff.

But he knew he could never tell her. She was already freaked out about Rachel and Quinn—Santana was really jealous, controlling, and possessive; but she had a heart too. She could be all sensitive and girly when they were alone. Sometimes. It was kinda cool that after all this time (and all those put-downs) it seemed like she actually liked him.

So for Santana's sake, Finn swallowed all those mixed feelings he was going through when he saw Puck and Rachel at the dance. He hated when Santana got mad. And he hated even more when she cried.

…

Sam was confused and worried.

Quinn had been bugging out about Puck and Rachel all week. It was kind of an ego blow and a sign that he was right all along that if Quinn found out about Puck and Rachel she'd start thinking about Puck again. Sam had his own reasons for being upset to see the video of Puck kissing Rachel on that weird kid's blog. Not only did it amp up Quinn's frenzy, but seeing them kiss like that felt like a punch in the gut. It was just more evidence that it's the 'bad boys' that attract the good girl, while nice guys like Sam finish last. Everyone always told Sam what a nice guy he is. Nobody ever told him he was hot—even though he knew his body was _cut_. As far as he knew, among the ladies he was considered _cute_ (which seemed to also mean harmless and unsexy) while apparently Puck was _hot _(which must also mean dangerous and sexy). No girls were falling over themselves to drop their panties at his feet the way they seemed to for Puck. Rachel, who was never at a loss for words, couldn't even explain why she liked Puck. Having insight might have helped him when it came to combating Quinn's apparent attraction to that jackass. At least Rachel admitted to him that she liked Puck. Quinn of course only denied that she liked him or had any feelings of jealousy about the whole thing. Still, she was obviously in a funk, and the only thing that cheered her up was the thought of the two of them ruling the Homecoming Court.

She was pretty much devastated that she lost Homecoming Queen to Santana. And somehow it seemed like the fact that Sam won King just made it worse. So he couldn't really enjoy that victory at all.

He didn't know what to do. He just wanted to make her smile. He just wanted things to go back the way they were before he had to worry about this stuff. He and Quinn were supposed to get married someday, weren't they? Quinn came with a lot more drama than he realized when he first fell for her forever ago.

When Sam watched Rachel leave the dance with Puck—with those dumb grins on their faces—he felt kinda betrayed. Just another ego blow and reminder of how lame he still was compared to Puck—despite Sam's obviously higher social status. But the fact that it was _Rachel_ walking out with Puck instead of some random girl was the real problem. It just…bugged him. He couldn't exactly figure out why. The best he could come up with was that she knew what he was worried about with Quinn being interested in Puck again, and she knew that Quinn had a big jealousy problem when it came to Rachel specifically. Maybe it was irrational to feel this way because he and Rachel were barely friends. Maybe it was a little self-centered too, to think that she should realize (and care) how her actions in her romantic life impacted him and his romantic life with Quinn. He didn't really understand where these feelings were coming from, but he couldn't help feeling hurt.

Quinn would definitely get the wrong idea if she thought he was upset about anything related to Rachel, so he couldn't let her figure it out. And she looked upset too—which just made Sam feel more worried that she really was starting to like Puck again.

Seriously, what is it with girls and that jerk?

…

After the Homecoming dance, Rachel wrote an extensive entry in her journal about the romance abounding in the evening. Noah was just so considerate and wonderful and made her feel amazing. It was probably overly dramatic as she tended to be—she counted over a dozen uses of the word _love_. Maybe later she'd look back and recognize those feeling as puppy love, but for now they felt as real as anything ever had. She decided she would worry about editing for realism later when her Autobiography was finally optioned

…

Puck was trying to come up with a great date idea and how to ask Rachel to be his pretty-much-for-real girlfriend. Maybe he should start out with just a regular date. They hadn't ever really done that.

Saturday afternoon he called her. "Hey, Rach, wanna go out to dinner with me tonight?" he asked, trying out a combination of casual and formal that seemed a bit foreign coming out of his mouth.

"I would love to if I didn't already have plans," she said with disappointment. What a tragedy, she thought. (Over-dramatic? Yes. Honest? Yes.)

"Plans? You didn't tell me about any plans," he grumbled.

"Why, Noah Puckerman, I assumed we were independent entities. I wasn't aware we were exchanging our schedules," she smiled into the phone.

He was silent. He hated this feeling.

Rachel panicked as she started to realize that he might have been trying to ask her out on a _date_. And she had laughed it off with a mildly insulting comment. "But we could! We could exchange schedules!"

"Uh, whatever, Berry. It's no big deal. I don't wanna go through some big thing."

"It doesn't have to be a big ordeal," she added hurriedly, desperately. "I already keep my schedule in digital format, so all I have to do is send it to you."

In that moment, he knew it would be a big ordeal. He was kind of annoyed. But he found it a little bit funny that she was scrambling like this—and that she kept a digital schedule. It was kinda cute. A little. "Fine," he sighed. "Send me your stupid schedule."

"Done!" she chirped, ignoring his moodiness. She knew it was inadvertently her fault. "You'll notice my plans for tonight are having dinner with Kurt and Blaine and my dads. Would you like to come? Or perhaps we could meet after dinner?"

Puck was sorta relieved to hear what her plans actually were—but no way in hell was he going to that gay-fest. "Uh, no thanks. I don't wanna screw with your dinner stuff. But you should definitely come over when you're done."

"Great! I will!" she bubbled. "Should I update my schedule?"

"I think we're good, B," he rolled his eyes at the phone and chuckled.

"Too late! I did it already!" she sang.

"You're a dork."

"You love it," she teased. Then she blushed deeply. She was so glad she wasn't talking to him face-to-face.

"Watch out, Berry," he warned mockingly. "You're dangerously close to breaking the rules…"

"Nowhere near," she assured him haughtily.

"Just checking," he smirked.

Neither quite knew where the other stood after that.

And neither wanted to ask.

…

But Rachel had to prepare for her dinner party, so she couldn't dwell on it…too much.

…

Puck felt a little better by the end of the phone call, but he was backing out on his plan to ask Rachel the big question. He wasn't ready to get shot down or laughed at. He wasn't ready to go back to being any girl's bitch—and it seemed like all too often he played the part of Rachel's bitch. He hated that every time she'd asked him to do something, he did it—just hoping for a scrap of her…(attention, affection, approval?) _pussy_. And now he'd almost convinced himself that it was a good idea to ask her to make him into something he had never been good at being—a boyfriend!

What kind of mind-fuck did Berry and Lopez do on him?

He blamed both their crazy-asses for his temporary insanity.

He was gonna go back to figuring out ways to get Berry hot-and-bothered enough so that she'd actually be begging him to fuck her. _Begging_.

And only under the worst-case-scenario would he use the Boyfriend Option.

Probably.

Dammit! Why was he still thinking about that look he wanted to see on her face when he asked her? The look where her eyes are all hopeful and happy and her mouth is telling him yes with that giant smile.

He tried to turn that into her sexified face and imagine _that's_ what he was thinking about—the candles lighting her face in the image flashing in his mind weren't from some perfect date dinner but from a sex-den to lure her in. And she was saying _yes, yes_, as he thrust his dick into her tight little cunt over and over.

He jerked himself off with angry strokes—pissed at a brain that wasn't cooperating.

Fuck.

After a quick nap, he woke up and decided to clean his room—make it a little more like a sex den for Berry's visit tonight.

…

Kurt and Blaine arrived for dinner at the Berry house right on time. They had made it into a slightly formal affair, with the men all wearing blazers and slacks and Rachel in a fall skirt and flats. As she was leading Kurt and Blaine to the dining room, she finally realized how awkward this could be—she was the only one who didn't have a date! She had never planned to have a date or a friend or anything, but her dads were obviously a couple and Kurt and Blaine were obviously a couple instead of just her two friends who might like to share a meal and advice from her dads. And that's what it turned out to be, an evening of her dads giving the boys sage advice while Rachel felt mostly invisible—except when she felt awkward.

She was counting down the moments for this dinner to end so she could see Noah.

And then her dad really embarrassed her…and everyone else.

"Rachel told us that you had some trouble with another boy, Kurt. David Karofsky, right? But that now you've gotten over your differences and you're actually somewhat of a mentor for him. That's very commendable, son."

Kurt's face paled—more than usual. Blaine looked at him questioningly, but always polite, he didn't call Kurt out directly. Instead, he asked, "Aaron, could you please elaborate? I haven't actually heard anything about this mentoring aspect from Kurt here."

Rachel apologized with her eyes, but Kurt was clearly freaking out. And Aaron Berry passed the buck to Kurt, saying, "I only know the third-hand account from Rachel, so perhaps Kurt should tell us how things are going with that bully-turned-choir-boy."

"Dad, you're really putting Kurt on the spot!" Rachel protested.

"Oh, we're all friends here," Marshall Berry replied good-naturedly. "Right, son?"

Kurt cleared his throat uncomfortably. "Yes, well, Blaine, I'll have to talk to you in more detail after dinner…"

"Yes, you will," he replied with a meaningful look.

"Right," Kurt continued. "But to speak generally and briefly, Dave Karofsky is still working on accepting who he is and his sexuality, so he doesn't advertise his attractions; but he is allowing himself to be more open to people and experiences that he would have been afraid to become involved with—for instance, he is part of an all-male acapella group in college. Rachel actually stopped by my house when Dave was telling me the news—that's why she knew." Kurt looked at Blaine, silently imploring him to forgive him.

"It's very satisfying to help someone else—in a mentoring relationship. Quite admirable," Marshall Berry said.

"Very admirable, son," Aaron repeated.

"Thank you," Kurt said as his cheeks turned from pale white to flushed with embarrassment.

"Don't be too hard on him, Blaine," Marshall said—mortifying everyone 18 or younger. "It's good to have genuine relationships in high school like you have, but remember you're too young to be really serious."

Rachel wanted to die—or at least disappear.

And the worst was still to come.

Aaron chimed in, "We were so worried about our little princess here. Until she broke up with that Finn character, we had nightmares that she would throw away all her hard work and dreams of stardom to follow that boy into a dead-end future in Ohio. She was so obsessed with him—it was unhealthy."

"Dad! Daddy!"

Marshall patted her hand. "Your dad is trying to say that you shouldn't plan your life around someone else at this age. You have to do what's best for you and your future. The decisions you make now are so important for the rest of your life! And we're so proud of you sweetheart, for finally coming to your senses."

Rachel sighed. There was no use in arguing or reasoning with them now. "Thank you. Don't forget that Finn is Kurt's step-brother. Perhaps we should switch to a more benign topic for dessert."

After the delicious dessert capped off that disastrous dinner, Rachel walked her guests to the door and stepped out on the porch with them for a debriefing.

"I am so sorry!" she exclaimed quietly, near tears. "None of this should have happened! I'm so sorry my dads are so judgmental and clueless—they're usually so progressive and less embarrassing," she lamented.

"It's ok, Rachel, they're just protective of you and have ideas about how young people should treat relationships," Blaine assured her. "I think we can all take some good advice from them while making our own decisions about what's right for us."

Rachel nodded gratefully at Blaine and looked to Kurt. He was fuming as he glared silently at Rachel. Finally he asked Blaine if he could have a word with Rachel alone. Blaine figured out what it was about and knew that he'd be talking to Kurt privately about the whole Karofsky secret, so he excused himself and walked over to the car to wait.

"I can't believe you told them about Dave! You said you wouldn't tell anyone!" Kurt accused in a harsh whisper.

"Parents don't count!" she exclaimed before lowering her volume. "My dads could see I was upset about something, and when they pressed me about it, I finally told them about our fight." Rachel didn't mention how she used the fight as her main excuse for being upset rather than mentioning anything that had been going on with Noah. "And I reminded them not to say anything tonight, but apparently a glass of wine with dinner and their lips get loose," she muttered bitterly. She looked at Kurt pleadingly. "I'm so sorry, Kurt. I will help you explain anything you want to Blaine. I don't want to fight again!" She wanted to hug him, to reassure herself, but his closed off posture told her that he would not react well to a hug right now. She stood awkwardly, wringing her hands.

Kurt's face contorted as he fought with his emotions. He tried to speak calmly. "I'm going to try to apologize to Blaine for keeping this secret. And for the pain and suffering we just went through tonight. You and I can talk later after I calm down. And after I see if I can salvage things with Blaine."

"You can!" Rachel exclaimed encouragingly.

"I hope so," Kurt said quietly.

"Me too."

As Kurt hopped into his SUV, he gave a little wave that told Rachel that things would be ok—that he was upset, but this wasn't the end of their friendship (again).

Still, the combination of the drama with Kurt and Blaine along with her dads' pressure about her future as a star weighed on Rachel heavily. She made a much-needed phone call.

"Sup, B?"

"Only the worst dinner in history!"

"Really?" Puck was puzzled. "I figured it would be the worst dinner ever for me, but it would be right up your alley."

She sighed heavily. "I just need to get my mind off of it."

"I gotcha covered, baby," he said soothingly.

"I was hoping you would," she let herself smile.

…

After Rachel redid her makeup from the few tears that fell after her stressful dinner party, she made up an excuse to her dads (who seemed to think she was going to Kurt's and she didn't correct them), and she drove to Noah's.

"You said I should call when I'm close," Rachel said. "I'm close."

"Yeah, Mom's home and so's the kid. You're gonna have to climb through my window," Puck told her in a conspiratorial whisper.

"What? Climb?" she squeaked into the phone.

"Don't worry, B. I have a rope ladder."

"A rope ladder? You've got to be kidding me."

"Nope. It's for like fire safety or something, but it comes in handy. Text me when you're down there and I'll be sure to hold the ladder so you don't fall."

Rachel sighed heavily. She wasn't sure if she was up to this added stress, but there was a light at the end of the…ladder. If anything…if anyone could take away her stress right now, it would be Noah Puckerman and his magic…everything. She needed him at least to hold her and tell her it would be ok. So she sucked it up, texted him when she got to his window with the ridiculous ladder hanging out of it, and started climbing.

As she made it to the windowsill, his strong arms grabbed her to help pull her in—but then the dainty arms of a girl reached out to her too. Rachel jerked back in shock, nearly tumbling out of the window.

"Shit!" Puck swore. "Hold on, Rachel, I've got you."

"I've got you too!" shouted Sarah.

The siblings pulled Rachel into Puck's room, where everyone stared at each other wide-eyed.

Rachel took several wavering breaths before finally asking, "W-what's going on?"

Puck and Sarah looked at each other sheepishly.

"I thought…" Rachel trailed off as she realized she shouldn't say that Sarah's presence surprised her because she thought she was sneaking in to avoid Sarah (and Deb) knowing she was there.

"Shit, I'm so sorry, Rach!" Puck exclaimed as he held her close. She was shaking. "Sarah's here but Mom got called in to work. Of course, I didn't expect to have to babysit the runt so my original plan got shot to hell. So I had to ask Sarah if she was cool…"

"Noah was gonna let me hang out and watch movies with you! We thought it be funny if you still had to climb through the window! We just wanted to laugh at you!" Sarah exclaimed. She was yelling but it was because she was still upset over Rachel's near-death experience and was just completely keyed up.

Puck gave her a warning look. "Laugh _with_ you, B. She means _with_ you. You sounded stressed on the phone and I thought if we played this little joke we'd all have a laugh…" He was realizing what a stupid asshole he was. He thought it would be hilarious to see Rachel climbing into his window and then figure out it was all for nothing. She was so cute when she was mad with her over-the-top reactions and the faces she made. But not like this—this wasn't cute-mad. This was verge-of-going-mental. Probably rightly so since she could've been seriously hurt.

"You're right! I _am_ stressed!" she lamented and her eyes filled with tears. "But this…"

"I know. I'm so sorry. So stupid," he muttered as he just held her tighter. He couldn't stand the thought that she could've really fallen like that. He had her, no question, but still. Shit.

Sarah came to join in for a group hug, but Puck mouthed the word _Go_ and pointed her to the door. She made a brief silent protest before giving in and leaving. Puck let go of Rachel long enough to close (and lock) the door behind her.

And that's how Puck's seduction plan turned into feeling sharing time. Rachel was breaking down in his arms over her dinner drama, so Puck guided her to the bed and held her there, stroking her hair. Meanwhile reflecting on how his night had gone to shit.

Originally, Sarah was supposed to be spending the night with a friend and his mom was going out or something, so depending on Rachel's timing, he was sure he could sneak her past his mom. Then Mrs. Martin dropped Sarah back at home because someone at the slumber party was caught with clove cigarettes or whatever. Then his mom had to work a shift for a friend, so everything got all screwed up. He was hoping to have the house to himself for long enough to move Rachel to Phase 3, which was Oral. He had planned to use a bad, but hopefully effective joke about how he could give her some lessons to open up her throat and really help her vocals. He knew it would have grossed her out, but he also thought she might be curious enough about anything that seemed like vocal lessons that she'd do it. Plus, some girls loved sucking dick. And the ones that were too shy or whatever about it usually came around after he'd go down on them. Girls can be really weird and ashamed of their snatch—thinking that guys just hate eating them out because it's so nasty when really it's such a turn on (at least for him). So to repay him after he finished them off, chicks often returned the favor even when they had avoided it before. He figured Rachel would be just plain scared because she was so green about anything related to a cock and balls. But she seemed pretty eager to learn and eager to please…

He had to figure out a way to salvage this night! He figured he didn't have to worry about Sarah anymore. The movie night thing was definitely not happening. That was his next idea when he realized Sarah was going to be there—he had planned to bribe her with hanging out with them for a while so she wouldn't tell his mom later. Then after she fell asleep or got really interested in the movie, he and Rachel could get down to business in his bed. Now he could just blackmail Sarah to keep quiet since their mom wouldn't want to hear that both of them nearly killed Rachel Berry. So Sarah could stay on the other side of his locked door all night.

He tuned back into Rachel's rant.

"I expressly told them not to say anything about one particular subject, but after one glass of wine their lips loosened," she vented.

"Let's get _you_ loosened up. You need to relax," he coaxed. He tilted her chin up and gave her a soft kiss. When she seemed to melt in his arms, he deepened the kiss and laid her down on his bed.

She didn't fight it. She didn't get upset that he cut her off from her story. Rachel knew this is what she needed all along. Yes, she needed to talk about her emotions, but she also just needed _him_.

Puck knew he should turn on some music to drown out the noises he knew he could get Rachel to make. Sarah would know what was going on no matter what, but he didn't want her to hear exactly what was going on; she was still his baby sister. And Rachel would probably freak out too if she thought Sarah could hear them. He had planned to go a different route with some super sexed up songs perfect for getting a girl to bob on his knob, but he decided to go the other way. He was going to work Rachel over like never before. Hell, she deserved it after what he just pulled. He was going to do her right. She might not be ready for sex yet, but if all went according to plan, it would take all her will-power to keep her from begging him to fuck her brains out.

And it did go according to plan.

He bit at her earlobe gently before telling her that he was going to put on some music to set the mood. She nodded and unwrapped her arms from his body. Puck hit his second option playlist, starting with _Light You Up_. Rachel almost giggled at the blatant sexual nature of the song, but as the gorgeous boy in front of her took off his shirt and started on hers, she stopped giggling. The song was…quite effective.

They stripped off the reset of their clothes together, and he settled on top of her for a heavy make-out session before getting going on what he'd planned to do.

Puck kissed his way down her abdomen. He started with a kiss on her clit—he knew this is something she'd never experienced before.

He was right.

Rachel felt a jolt from his lips through her body. And then he started using his tongue. Oh. My. G—He was doing things that seemed like only a machine could do. How could a human being _vibrate_ like that? How could he _breathe_? How could he do what he was doing with his mouth and still manage so many things with his hands? She had several thoughts running through her head as she tried to figure out how to react to what was happening.

His left hand snaked up her side to fondle her breast and pinch her nipple. As she arched and moaned, he glanced up at her just for a moment to look at her. So fucking hot as she shook her head back and forth and gripped his sheets tightly. His chin was dripping with her juices and he knew she was so close. Then she told him.

"Oh. Noah. I want. You. Inside. Oh. Oh!"

He really wanted to just fuck her senseless right there. His dick was aching to be inside that wet little pussy. Instead, he plunged his fingers in and curled upward to reach her g-spot. She was trembling even more now and he really wished he could stick his cock in her face to get a little 69 action, something for his throbbing erection. He needed release. But he was determined to get Rachel off.

Fingers, lips, and tongue worked in concert to make her fall apart beneath him. He sighed with relief as she moaned his name. He just made his way to the pillow to lay next to her, pretty fucking tired from all that work.

After a few moments of silence as she was caught up in what had just happened, Rachel turned to him. "I can't believe you did that…It was…I've never…"

Puck smirked. "Yeah, I figured. Is that a _thank you_?"

Rachel's eyes widened. "Yes! I'm sorry! Thank you! Wow…I'm speechless." That's when she looked at him…down at him, and realized he was still…unsatisfied. "Oh!"

He grabbed his erection. "Yeah, I was kinda hoping you could help me out with this."

She looked scared at first but then seemed to resolve some inner struggle. "That seems only fair," she said with a half-smile. She sat up and straddled him, and as she looked down and her hair covered her face, Puck thought she was either gonna give him that blow job he really wanted or straight up mount him bareback—which would be unbelievable but dangerous and he didn't know if she was on the pill and he was about to say something when he realized that neither of those things were happening.

Instead, she pressed him against her without letting him slip in—she was basically using her hand and her vag to stroke him off—and give herself a little action too.

Holy hell.

It was hotter than he expected and his brief moment of disappointment gave way to the thrill of watching Rachel Berry writhe on top of him as she worked them both. It didn't take too long for him to get there, and he tried to give her enough warning to get out of the line of fire so he didn't actually have the misfortune of coming near her entrance without getting to actually penetrate. It would have been shitty luck to get a girl pregnant without actually having sex—like a real Finn Hudson. Fortunately, Puck's brain was beginning to shut down post-orgasm so he didn't let himself think about that crap. He just looked at the girl in his bed.

Rachel rolled off of his hips and lay next to him. "That was so…"

"Hot," he finished.

"Yes…I almost asked…I almost wanted to just…do it."

His eyes widened in the dark before he grinned with self-satisfaction. "That's what I wanted to hear. That means soon maybe we should."

She bit her lip nervously. "Maybe."

He put his arm around her and patted his chest for her to rest her head there. "Let's just chill here for awhile. You spending the night?"

She snuggled against him and reveled in the feel of his soft skin and firm muscles. "I probably shouldn't," she said regretfully.

"Yeah, probably not. Stay five more minutes?"

She nodded against his chest.

She stayed for thirty before finally pulling herself out of his arms and out of the house.

"I am not using that ladder," she declared after she finished getting dressed.

He nodded vigorously and actually dragged his ass out of bed to walk her to the door.

"Goodnight, Rachel," he grinned.

She smiled softly and reached up to kiss his cheek. "Goodnight, Noah."

…

On Sunday Puck figured that Sarah said something to his mom. Out of the blue, his mom told him he had to help her host the _Halloween at the JCC_ event.

"You should ask Rachel Berry to help," Deb Puckerman said as nonchalantly as she could manage.

Which wasn't subtle at all.

"Aw, Mom!" he protested. Maybe it was a coincidence, but probably not. So he was going to have to torture that little twerp Sarah for her big mouth.

"She's very good at planning, Noah. Rachel used to help organize all kinds of events at the JCC. I think she just got too busy and forgot about us a bit, but I understand of course. Senior year is a busy time for you kids."

"Yeah, I'm really too busy to do this, Ma. I'm sure Rachel is too."

"But I already volunteered you for this one little thing, Noah. And I'm sure it will be more fun for you if you could spend time with a friend while helping out your community."

"Fine," Puck relented. That woman could really lay on the guilt trip so he wasn't going to make her bring out the big guns. "I'll ask her. She'll probably be thrilled."

She was.

He stopped by her house and asked her at the door before even coming inside.

"Oh, that sounds like a wonderful idea! I'd love to help you with Halloween at the JCC! I have so many ideas on how to make this the coolest and safest event in town!" She finally pulled him inside and up to her room.

"Let's see…We'll need costumes…" she began pacing as she thought out loud. "You can be The Phantom! I can be Christine! I already have the mask for you, and that's pretty much all you need—though you could consider a suit and cape…"

"Whoa! Relax, B. You're bouncing all over the place." He put his hands on her shoulders to still her. He rolled his eyes at her excitement but couldn't help grinning at her. "You realize that we're in our last year of high school, right? We're supposed to go to kick-ass parties where I dress up as something awesome and you wear some slutty costume that I get to tear off at the end of the night."

"Well," she started in a surprisingly seductive voice. "I can't slut it up at the JCC, but I can promise you that I will have a very authentic Christine costume…including something you'll really enjoy underneath the dress the kids will see."

Fuck yeah.

He must have said that out loud because she looked so shocked before he kissed her.

Now he couldn't wait for Halloween! He was getting hard just thinking about it. Unfortunately, her dads were home and Berry wouldn't budge when it came to doing anything more than a little making out. He left her place a little uncomfortable, but the x-rated visions in his head would help him out with that.

…

On Monday morning, he went straight to her locker. "So I figure people are gonna have their own ideas after the show we gave them at the dance," Puck started. "You wanna play it like we're together or what?" He was trying to figure out what she was thinking.

Rachel was trying to do the same thing. Should she be breezy and casual? Should she be honest? Maybe a mix… "I don't like the idea of being considered a slut who would jump from boy to boy. So that has me leaning to _Together_. And I would like to act natural—the way we would want to whether people were paying attention or not."

"Natural?" he asked puzzled. Then he smirked. "Like the Discovery Channel?"

Rachel swatted at him and rolled her eyes with a smile. "No, of course not!

"So, natural like what?"

"Natural like we're together, but we don't have to give ourselves a label. So we'll be honest about what we are to everyone—without going into the details of our contract."

Puck nodded thoughtfully. "Ok, sounds good. I just don't know what I'll say if people ask. Ideas?"

Rachel bit her lip but decided to say it. "Just say that we're together now…if you want."

He started to smile but had one more question. "Is that what you're gonna say?"

She nodded rapidly. "Definitely. If that's ok with you."

"Yeah, that's cool." He was grinning that stupid grin that came out for those rare moments when he was actually happy and a little surprised about it. He hated that grin. He had to get himself back in check. But then Rachel slipped her tiny hand in his and he couldn't stop smiling.

He was such a girl.

…

That week in school they would hold hands when they wanted, walk together when they wanted, sit together when they wanted. Whatever. It was cool. They didn't always do _everything_ together, but it was enough for people to start talking and pretty much assuming that Puck and Rachel were dating.

Neither party in question confirmed or denied the allegations.

They also spent just about every day together after school between glee rehearsals, audition preparations together, and planning the JCC Halloween party.

It really did feel natural. It felt like they really were dating. Even if they each had to remind themselves that they weren't actually.

As Rachel put it, they were in a committed, mutually-beneficial, but ultimately temporary relationship that defied labeling.

Neither party wanted to think about the details too much. They just wanted to enjoy the ride.

Oh, and one party in particular really, really wanted to get laid.

The other party was still reluctant but seriously considering the same thing.

…

…

Shelby Corcoran was preparing to send some pictures of Beth to some family and friends through her personal email account instead of her university account. She never got excited about a holiday like Halloween, but now that she had Beth, she just loved taking advantage of any excuse to take holiday-themed pictures with her beautiful daughter. She was tired but Beth was finally asleep, and Shelby was in a good mood as she reviewed the adorable pictures. But her eyes widened when she realized there was an old but unread email—from Rachel Berry. She read through it quickly, then re-read it. She tried to come up with the best reply she could.

…

Hours later, Rachel read the much-delayed email from her birth-mother. She had been waiting (and trying not to think about it) for so long that she wasn't expecting to ever get a reply. She was practically shaking as she read.

_Dear Rachel,_

_I apologize for the lateness of my reply. I rarely check this email account—especially now that I am taking classes and have an email address through the university. As you might imagine, I don't have much free time with work, classes, and Beth. I hope that this email finds you well and that my delay didn't cause you undue stress._

_That said, I must admit that I am concerned by your inquiry. Have you spoken to your dads about this? Perhaps we would be wise to wait until your 18__th__ birthday to communicate, considering the contract I signed for your fathers. I should never have violated the contract by seeking you out, and I am truly sorry for the confusion my appearance and disappearance must have caused you. Given our situation, I feel it would be best if we did not continue communicating until the contract allows it—after you turn 18. However, if you need any family history information that your fathers don't already have, I'll be happy to provide it._

_Sincerely,_

_Shelby M. Corcoran_

Rachel was crestfallen. She never should have gotten her hopes up. She never should have sent the email! She wished Noah never would have given her this email address. She was so mad, so sad. She wanted to scream—just out loud but also at him for putting that terrible idea in her head! She started composing a furious email in which she was forwarding Shelby's message with a scathing introduction to the one responsible for this catastrophe when she realized that he wasn't responsible at all.

It wasn't his fault.

He didn't deserve the venom she was about to spew at him about how terrible he was at giving advice and trying to help her, and how he should just stop. He only had two really bad decisions lately (suggesting she email Shelby and making her climb through his window), but overall he actually was quite thoughtful when he gave advice, and he was rather exceptional at helping her relax.

It was her own fault for letting herself believe that anything good could come from contacting Shelby Corcoran when experience should have taught her better.

And it was Shelby's fault—for not realizing what she was missing and the hurt she was causing—or not caring.

Rachel discarded her email to Noah.

And she decided that Shelby's email didn't deserve a reply either.

…

For better or for worse, auditions were approaching soon.

Rachel didn't know that Puck was planning to stop by Shelby's house while they were in Cleveland.

Puck didn't know just how bad that idea would be.

Nobody knew that a storm was building.

…


	13. Costumes and Auditions

**Ch. 13** **Costumes and Auditions**

**A.N.** Sorry for the wait! I've been a little sick and very busy. I hope you're all still interested in this story! Traffic's been slow, but thanks for the reviews, alerts, and favorites! I really appreciate it!

There are some references to events in the promo for the Blame it on the Alcohol episode, so if you haven't seen the promo and want to be surprised, wait until after you see that ep to read this.

Also watch out for the mature scene around the Halloween party.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Glee or anything familiar.

…

Rachel and Puck walked around school like they owned the place—hand in hand, or with her arm linked through the loop of his elbow, or sometimes with his arm around her with his hand trying to cop a feel.

It sickened many onlookers throughout the course of the week…though most quietly admitted that it could have been much worse.

Curiosity got the best of Kurt—that and time to cool down and work things out with Blaine. He had to ask Rachel what was going on. He caught up with her after glee.

"So I thought you might be interested to know that Blaine and I worked things out about the whole Dave thing that came up at dinner over the weekend-and"

Rachel interrupted him with a surprisingly forceful hug. "I knew you would! I'm so happy for you!"

"Wow, you're a strong little thing, aren't you?" he smirked, carefully prying away her arms. "But what I want to hear about is what's going on with you."

"Wait, you have to tell me the rest of your story first!" she insisted with a little pout.

"That face only works on straight guys…and probably your dads," Kurt told her dismissively. But he was wrong because a few more flutters of her eyelashes and that pouty face did the trick. And of course he wanted to share his story anyway.

He told her about Blaine's reaction (not exactly good but calm and deliberate as usual) and his solution for proving who amongst them were friends and who were more than friends.

"Was it anything like what Blaine and I had to do for you?" Rachel asked.

Kurt rolled his eyes but acknowledged the similarities. "Conceptually yes, but the details certainly differed."

Rachel raised her eyebrows expectantly.

"So we had a little Skype conference with Dave where Dave and I had to declare that we were strictly friends. And then…Blaine kissed me in front of him! After Dave said goodbye, Blaine said he thought Dave liked me so he had to claim is territory!"

Rachel's eyes widened and she let out a little squeal as she clapped her hands together. "You're blushing!"

"It was rather embarrassing," Kurt admitted. "And apparently I blushed then too—which Blaine called me on and said I was like Maria in The Sound of Music when the Baroness confronted her about the Captain."

Rachel was puzzled. "So Blaine was saying that you blushed because you like him or because he thinks you like Karofsky?"

"That was my question too! He didn't exactly answer but said that I didn't have to be embarrassed that I like my own boyfriend. I told him that I haven't done much kissing in public, but that he and I should do some more kissing in private. And…I'll end the story there."

"Oh, I'm so glad you've worked it out!" Rachel sang.

"So that was a good side-track, Missy, but you still have to explain your status with Mr. Puckerman."

Rachel exhaled dramatically. "I thought I would get away with that, but because you're so insistent…" She proceeded to give him some of the details of what had been going on between them—without going into many specifics. She intentionally avoided describing the contract or saying anything that would violate that contract. But she did tell him about how he asked her to Homecoming, that they 'spent time' together over the weekend, and have decided that they're 'together'. "Basically, we decided that we both want to be more than friends, we're going to be exclusively committed to each other, but we both know that we'll be going our separate ways after senior year, if not sooner."

"That sounds like a long-winded-Rachel way of saying you're dating," he chuckled.

"Well no, of course not. We've decided to just do what we want without worrying about what anyone else thinks or what label we should use. We have a _temporary_ aspect built into our relationship," Rachel argued, but was starting to question her logic. Kurt just questioned further.

"Still sounds like the definition of dating," he said smugly. "Everyone who's dating has a temporary aspect in their minds—it's only the really special ones that turn permanent. You know, marriage? Face it, sweetie, whether you and Puck admit it to yourselves, you're dating. He's your boyfriend."

"Do you really think so?" She couldn't keep the hope from creeping into her voice.

"It's the definition," he shrugged and nodded.

"Do you think _he_ knows?"

"Good question. He's not the sharpest tool in the shed—he's just a tool. No offense."

Rachel flashed him a dirty look. "You're not helping. If you think he's so bad, why do you care so much about whether or not we're dating?"

"Who said I cared?" he asked flippantly. But when he saw Rachel's face crumple, he quickly assured her that he was joking. "Yes, I care, I care. It's because I care about your feelings, and I want you to be happy, hon. So I'm thinking that Puck might know somewhere in that thick skull of his that you two are dating like any other couple, but I don't know if Puck is ready to fess up to being your boyfriend. You're probably smart to go with your strategy of not labeling things."

She nodded. "Thank you, Kurt. I'll take that endorsement of my strategy as a compliment."

"I suppose it was," he said glibly.

She hip-checked him as they headed to the parking lot smiling.

Kurt had one last question. "Does this mean we'll see you and Puck in coordinating costumes at the Halloween party?"

She grinned up at him. "We do have coordinating costumes! I'm not sure if we're going to the same party though…so far I only know that he and I are going to the JCC to host a kids' event."

"Well, you have to come to Brittany's party. You know how Blaine and I borrowed some movies from your dads? We were inspired for the best costumes! We'll be in Navy dress whites a la Andy and Miguel in _Philadelphia_! Blaine has the dark good looks of a young Antonio Banderas, don't you think?"

"I'm sure you'll both look handsome."

"Don't you get any ideas about going after my man," he joked.

"I wouldn't dream of it! I just think we all have a thing for men in uniforms," she smiled.

He nodded. "It's also a reminder of when we both went to Dalton and constantly wore matching uniforms."

"Then I will make every effort to be there to see you both. I can't imagine it will be difficult to convince Noah to go to a party. He's been hinting about wanting to see me in something…slutty," she finished with embarrassment at what she'd just revealed.

But Kurt wasn't surprised, only slightly disgusted.

…

And Rachel was right that it didn't take much (any) convincing to get Puck to go to Brittany's party. As soon as he heard she was throwing a party, he'd been trying to decide how to convince Rachel to go and wear whatever sexy thing she'd promised to be wearing under the weird frilly white dress she was wearing for the JCC Halloween thing.

They got through the JCC party—where Rachel seemed to be having a blast but Puck couldn't get outta there fast enough. He lifted up his Phantom mask as soon as they were in the parking lot heading to his truck. "So, do I get the first peek at what's underneath that dress?" he asked, tugging at the ribbon that seemed to be tying it in place like a robe.

They both gasped because it really was tying her dress together like a robe—and like a robe, it fell open to reveal the costume underneath.

He let out a wolf whistle. "Holy shit, Berry. That's what you've been wearing all day? I'm kinda glad I didn't know or I would've had to explain to all these moms why I had a boner around their kids!"

Rachel blushed and glanced down at the gold bejeweled halter top and gauzy skirt. "So you like it? Is it too skimpy?"

"Fuck yeah, I like it! This is from an opera? It looks like a sexy genie costume or something!" He licked his lips but closed her white dress robe again. "Let's get to the party, strut around looking hot, and then I need to get you alone."

She flushed more deeply but just nodded in agreement with that plan.

And that's what they did. Puck walked in with his Phantom mask on his head instead of on his face. Rachel wasn't sure if she wanted to really strut her stuff—and it would be a chilly walk from the truck to Brittany's house, but she did want to please Noah, so she left the white dress in the passenger seat.

Mercedes was the first familiar face Rachel spotted. "Girl! Who knew Rachel Berry had abs like that!" she called. Mercedes was dressed as Cleopatra, but Rachel didn't see anyone there with her.

Rachel blushed and Puck beamed. "I knew," he said smugly.

Mercedes' voice called attention to the little group, and Rachel's outfit held the attention. Santana and Finn walked over. Santana actually smiled. "Workin' it, Berry," she nodded as she appraised her body. "Proud of you."

Finn just nodded sheepishly at Rachel then turned to Puck. "What are you, dude?"

Puck pulled his mask down. "Phantom. She's Christine—or something." He pulled the mask back up. "Hell if I know. You? Dude, are you just wearing boxer shorts?"

He was. Finn was wearing boxers, a button-up dress shirt, a white lab coat, his glasses from Rocky Horror, and a stethoscope. "I'm a horny doctor. And Santana's the naughty candy-striper."

"Ah, I get it," Puck nodded.

"And I'm the naughty nurse," Brittany said with a smile. She was pushing Artie in his wheelchair.

Artie shrugged. "I'm the patient. What can I say? Girl gives a good sponge bath," he grinned.

Rachel whispered to Puck. "You weren't kidding about the costumes—everyone is trying to be…sexy."

"Yep, and you fit right in—no, you stand out, baby," he said smoothly as he cupped her ass.

"Noah!"

He gave it a little pat before he moved his hand to her hip.

Rachel scanned the room and finally found Kurt and Blaine slow dancing in their matching white Navy uniforms. They looked perfect and she didn't want to disturb them. She spotted Tina and Mike who appeared to be vampires but it was hard to tell because Tina didn't look much different than usual. Then she saw someone give a wave and head her way.

"Sam! Wow! You look…what are you supposed to be?" He was just dressed in a t-shirt and shorts, but his skin was…shiny.

Sam shrugged. "It works better when Quinn's here. She's in the bathroom I think."

Quinn walked up behind him in a one-piece bathing suit, a skirt, and high heels…with shiny skin. "Nope, I'm here. We're Barbie and Ken, of course."

Puck and Rachel both laughed. "Oh, that's perfect!" Rachel clapped.

"Totally," Puck smirked.

"It's a nickname I hate from Santana, but I decided to play it up," Quinn said haughtily. "And fortunately Sam played along."

"Yeah, the costume was fine—except for the plastic-look. I just couldn't let her do that to my face. But having her hands all over my body wasn't too bad," Sam grinned and attempted to give Quinn a smoldering look.

Quinn gave a half-smile at Sam, then an inscrutable look at Puck, a glare at Rachel, and finally told Sam it was time to dance. He waved goodbye and was lost in the sea of teens dancing in the large living room.

"Can I get you out of that costume now?" Puck growled in her ear.

"Let's just say hi and bye to Kurt," she said, barely able to keep the quiver of anticipation out of her voice.

Puck followed, literally said hi and bye, and dragged Rachel out of there.

"That was enough party for me. Let's go somewhere. Your house?"

"No, my dads are there handing out candy. Yours?"

"Mom's there with the runt doing the same thing now that JCC thing is done. Well shit, we have to go back to the party."

"Why?"

"To get a room. Brittany's house is pretty big. Lots of rooms. I'm pretty sure I can't wait much longer to get you alone."

"Ah, that's what parties are for, right?"

"You know it, B."

And it almost worked—except they really couldn't find any rooms. So they'd look, then go back to dancing, then look again for empty rooms. And the way Rachel moved her body, grinding that fine little ass against him as he held her hips—he _needed_ a room. She did these twirls so he'd get either her ass or tits rubbing against him. And of course their hands and lips were all over each other. Finally he had enough. He grabbed her hand, shoved their way to the front of the line to the bathroom, and locked the door behind them.

"Fuck, Rach," he breathed in ear as he set her on top of the counter. "I couldn't wait any longer," he said as he fumbled with her top. "How do you take this thing off?" he asked with frustration. He decided to get his stupid three-piece costume off while he let her deal with hers.

He was relieved to see that she was actually into it and took off her top and the bottoms and only had the gauzy skirt thing still on. Sitting on the counter, she was at a great height for kissing and sucking and licking those perfect little boobs. He'd been wanting to do this all night.

She moaned his name and leaned her head back into the wall. He took that as a sign to get his hands working under that skirt. She trembled and ached for him—and she realized that she shouldn't be selfish.

She sat up and stopped his hand. "I want to do something for you."

"You are, baby," he said and went back to work. But then he realized what she might mean. "Really?"

She nodded and kissed his chest—mimicking his actions by kissing his nipple. She played with his piercing with her tongue and felt more turned on than ever. She hopped down off of the counter and stood in front of him for a moment before kissing her way down his abs and down to the most daunting part of his body. She kissed his erection tentatively, and Puck gripped the counter.

"Fuck, Rachel," he breathed.

She flicked and swirled her tongue, unsure of what to do. She tried to take him in her mouth, and he got a little too into it, rocking his hips until he realized she was struggling. "It's ok," he told her. "You can use your hand. We'll do more later."

She nodded appreciatively. She alternated using her hand and her mouth until he his thighs were shaking and he held his hand over hers to catch the hot fluid.

"Damn," he sighed. "That was a nice surprise."

Suddenly someone pounded on the door. "C'mon already! Some people have to piss out here!"

Rachel paled as she realized where she was and how well their noises must have carried.

"Don't worry, baby," he assured her as they cleaned up and got dressed. "It's not a big deal. We were really quiet too. And only a few people will see us leave the bathroom together."

She nodded. She didn't really mind that people saw them together—she just didn't like the idea of people knowing _exactly_ what they had just done based on the sounds through the door. She supposed she should have thought of that when she took off her clothes, but Noah always made her want to do things she never thought she'd do.

Puck was pretty stoked with how the night went. If only she could be ready for sex…well, he knew he wouldn't take her virginity in Brittany's bathroom. But he was really dying to finally fuck her brains out.

Her hair was a mess, and their clothes a bit disheveled, but they left the party with smiles on their faces.

…

There was a lot of talk about their behavior at the party once everyone was back at school, but they didn't really care. They had more important things to think about. Like each other. Oh, and their auditions for their future or whatever.

…

It wasn't long before they were traveling to Cleveland for their auditions at Case Western Reserve. Rachel convinced her dads to let Noah take her to the airport on his way to _his_ auditions at Case. She decided not to mention her own application there.

They were both excited and nervous and trying to make each other feel better on the ride up. When they arrived they had to put in their names and then there was a combination of first-come-first-serve and alphabetical order audition process. So Rachel was up first. Puck tried to go in to watch, but they shooed him out for the closed audition. Still, he waited outside the door and he heard her fairly clearly. Well, he knew from her endless discussions about it that her first song was in Italian so it didn't matter that he could understand the words—he wouldn't have been able to anyway.

She was just so fucking good. Her voice soared with the highs in the aria and pierced his heart for a moment. He supposed it was pride or some shit because he knew she was getting in with an audition like that…but then it hit him. Yeah she's getting in—to NYU. He should be just happy for her, proud to know her, something, but he felt…depressed.

Fortunately, his audition pieces were good for pouring emotions into—even super-bummed emotions. Maybe especially those. So he actually rocked it.

Rachel was listening to his audition—the beauty and pure talent she could hear through the closed door helped temper the sadness she was feeling from the sorrowful notes he played. She was wiping tears from her eyes when he emerged from the room. When he saw her, he pushed his guitar around his neck on the strap and hugged her tightly.

"Thanks for being here, B," he said into her hair.

"Of course," she smiled.

…

They were both feeling pretty good after their auditions, but unbeknownst to each other, they were feeling a bit somber too about Rachel's next audition and the separation inevitable in their future. They drove in silence when Rachel noticed they weren't going along the route she expected. They veered off the interstate and into a neighborhood called Lakewood.

"Noah, where exactly are we going?" Rachel asked nervously. "I thought you were going to drop me off at the airport."

"Yeah, I will, B. Don't worry. I just have a stop to make first—I'm hoping to get away without having to get a hotel for my audition at CIM tomorrow."

"Hoping? You didn't make arrangements for yourself in advance? I hope you're stopping by a family member's house or something of that nature."

"Yeah, it's something like that."

Rachel looked at him, perturbed by his lack of a plan and insistence on vagueness. But she never would have guessed where he was heading.

She had no idea Shelby had moved to Cleveland. But as they pulled into the driveway of a modest historic home, Rachel thought she glimpsed _Corcoran_ on the mailbox.

"Noah, whose house is this? Tell me right now!" she demanded.

"Based on your high-pitched screech, I'm guessing you know," he said calmly. "It's Shelby's. I thought I'd stop by and see Beth and ask if Shelby will let me crash here tonight."

"Can't you just take me to the airport first?" Rachel asked in a panic.

"You don't have to be there for hours. I was kinda thinking you'd like to see them…especially Beth…" He scratched his scalp and looked at her hopefully.

Tears welled in Rachel's eyes as she dug in her bag for her phone. Without looking at him, she said, "I really don't want to see Shelby and she doesn't want to see me. Of course I'd like to see Beth, but you can take some pictures and send them to me. Here, here's her email. This is why I don't want to do this." She had pulled up the email from Shelby and shoved her phone at him.

He read silently before he looked up from the screen in shock. "Shit. Seriously? I'm sorry, Rachel. Why didn't you tell me?"

"I decided to follow the rule of 'if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all' so I didn't tell you."

"Huh? I don't get it. I mean, it's fine if you wanted to keep it to yourself or whatever, but it definitely makes things awkward. What did you reply to her?"

"I didn't. Same rule—I couldn't say anything nice in response to that, so I didn't reply. So you see why I don't want to be here? So you'll take me to the airport now, right?"

Puck nodded but grimaced with concentration as he tried to figure out what to do. He pulled out his phone.

"Hey, it's Noah Puckerman," he said, and Rachel knew immediately who he had called. "I'm here in Cleveland for auditions. Uh, thanks. So, Rachel's here with me. Yeah, Rachel Berry. Is it cool if we come in? Yeah, I'm in your driveway right now. Cool."

Rachel was frantically trying to find phone numbers for cab companies on her phone. This was _not _happening. She was about to bail out of his truck and get a cab to take her to the airport. Anything to avoid going inside that house.

Puck turned to Rachel. "See? No big deal. She said it's cool."

"It's not cool with me! Don't you understand?"

He shook his head. "No, I really don't. In her email it seemed like Shelby was just worried about legal crap or whatever, but there's no way anyone would know you were here, so you guys can't get in trouble for seeing each other. And you can say whatever you want to say to her in person now."

"I'm getting my bags and calling a cab," Rachel said stubbornly. "I'm not stepping one foot inside her house!" She reached behind the seat to try to drag her suitcase from its place wedged in the cab.

Puck just raised his eyebrow. Then he heard Shelby come out onto her porch.

"What a surprise," she said in a strained voice.

"Hey, Shelby. Sorry for the short notice," he shrugged.

"Try no notice," Rachel muttered as she gave up on pulling her suitcase out of truck. She was going to try to escape without a face-to-face encounter, but there was no chance of that now. She would just try to be civil for a short time and then remind Noah that he promised to drive her to the airport—and if he won't move fast enough, then she'll call a cab service.

Puck was busy taking Beth from Shelby's arms. "Getting so big!" he cooed to his daughter. "She's a looker, isn't she, Rach?"

Rachel shut the truck door and stepped toward the trio. She blinked back a few tears and nodded. "She's beautiful. You must be so proud."

Puck said "Yeah" at the same time Shelby said, "I am."

They looked at each other awkwardly and then at Rachel.

Puck cleared his throat. "So, yeah, this is a little weird. Sorry." He looked at them both and then at Shelby. "I didn't tell Rachel I wanted to stop here and see Beth, so she didn't know anything about this. She's pretty mad at me too." He looked back at Rachel who didn't contradict him.

"How about we go inside and talk?" Shelby suggested. "It's a little chilly for Beth. I hear we're getting some snow soon."

They nodded and followed her through the front door. Shelby took off Beth's coat and shoes and set her in the playpen so she could attend to her unexpected guests. She took their coats and hung them in the hall closet.

Puck immediately picked Beth up and sat her on his lap on the couch. "Hey, punkin," he grinned. Beth grinned back and then looked curiously at Rachel who cautiously took a seat next to them. Shelby entered the room and cleared her throat.

"Mama!" Beth said and held out her arms for Shelby.

Shelby smiled with relief that her baby didn't prefer her teenage father to her adopted mother. She scooped up Beth and kissed her cheek. "There's my Bethy-bean!" She turned to her guests. "So what's the occasion for your visit? Noah mentioned auditions?"

"Yeah, we just auditioned at Case—guitar for me, voice for Rach of course. I'll be driving her to the airport soon for her next audition at NYU, but I'm auditioning at CIM in the morning…So I was wondering if I could stay the night here instead of getting a hotel…" Now that he was saying it he felt like kind of an ass. Especially when Shelby's eyes got all wide and she blinked the way Rachel does when she's surprised in the not-so-good way.

"Oh, well, um, that's great," she stammered before recovering. "Sure, you can stay the night. And Rachel, I'm very glad to hear you're auditioning at NYU. I'm sure your fathers are very excited for you."

"Yes," Rachel replied tightly. "Thank you. Well, I don't want to be a bother and now that Noah has ensured his arrangements with you this evening, perhaps we can be going."

"So soon?" Puck asked with a hint of a whine. He coughed to cover that shit up. "I mean, your flight is still like three hours away and the airport is only fifteen minutes from here."

"It's no trouble if you'd like to stay and visit," Shelby added.

"Well based on your email," Rachel said, "it seems like it might be a bad situation."

Shelby's face fell. "I'm sorry about how I must have come across to you, Rachel. You should stay. We should talk. Besides, you'll be 18 soon anyway."

"Next month."

"Yes, next month," she nodded. "Oh, do you hear that?" Shelby walked to the window with Beth in her arms. Freezing rain was falling noisily to the ground. "Oh dear. I'm afraid instead of snow we're getting ice—and it's here now."

"We better go, Noah! I have to get to the airport!"

"Maybe you better check the flight delays," Puck suggested.

The doorbell rang.

"Good idea. Excuse me," Shelby said as she got up to answer the door.

Everyone was surprised to see who entered the room.

"You remember Jesse St. James, right?"

"Of course we do," Puck snapped.

"Is there a problem?" Shelby asked.

"Uh yeah, there's a problem. What the hell is the guy who egged Rachel doing here?"

"Egged Rachel?" she asked in confusion. She felt a bit dazed and decided it would be best to return Beth to her playpen.

"Yeah, broke an egg right on her head, and then your precious Vocal Adrenaline threw eggs at her in our parking lot. Did I get that right, Rachel? Jesse?"

Rachel was red with embarrassment but she nodded and looked angrily at Jesse, who also nodded shamefully.

Shelby was shocked by this news and gaped as she tried to think of something to say.

But Puck wasn't finished with his tirade. "What's he even doing here? You have a thing for young assholes, Shelby?"

"Let me explain," Jesse started, but he was interrupted by Shelby immediately.

"Noah Puckerman, watch your language!" Shelby exclaimed, finally shaken from her stupor. She glanced at Beth who was looking at them from her playpen. "She picks up on _everything_!"

"She does?" Puck asked in wonder.

Shelby nodded and smiled with chagrin at the look on the boy's face. "Yes, she does. She's talking a lot now."

"Really? That's so cool!" he exclaimed enthusiastically before trotting over to pick Beth up. "Could you understand that? I'm sorry, little B," he cooed.

Rachel and Shelby looked on, charmed by his natural way with Beth. Puck looked back at Shelby. "So what does she call me? She obviously can't call me…D-A-D-D-Y," he spelled.

"No, definitely not," Shelby said quickly. "What do you want to be known as? Certainly I can't have my baby calling you Puck."

"Why not? What about Uncle Puck?"

Rachel and Shelby wrinkled their noses. Puck raised his eyebrow and caught Jesse doing a similar thing. Little douchebag. He hated that the guy was here. Asshole.

"What if she calls you Noah? I think that calling you Uncle anything will be confusing."

"Why? Lots of people have uncles and aunts who are really just family friends. Besides, I'm really family. And you can't deny the resemblance." He held Beth up to his face, smiling.

He was right.

Beth looked so much like Noah Puckerman it was astounding, especially those eyes.

"Fine," Shelby relented. "Uncle Noah it is."

"Does that mean…I'm Aunt Rachel?"

"Oh, I thought you two were just friends. Are you and Noah…?" Shelby trailed off in confusion.

"I meant because we can't deny our resemblance," Rachel told Shelby pointedly. "But don't worry, just because Noah's planning on going to school here, and now I know why, that doesn't mean I will give up on my Broadway dreams. So I'm sure your _new_ daughter will rarely see me to even have a need to call me anything."

"Oh, um," Shelby stammered and blinked. "Rachel…"

"Noah, do you think you can drive me to the airport now?" she asked desperately.

"Yeah, sure, B. Sorry about this," he muttered. After her little speech about going off to Broadway and leaving him here in Ohio, he knew he was right not to ask her that stupid boyfriend question. She would have turned him down for sure, and he hated being a joke. He was feeling sorry for himself and sorry for Rachel…and even a little sorry for Shelby. But he stood up so he and Rachel could get their coats and try to make it through the ice storm to get to the airport.

Jesse cleared his throat. "Actually the airport's a mad house. That's where I just came from. They're canceling flights. They can't take off in the ice and they weren't prepared. You should definitely check on your flight status first, Rachel."

Rachel nodded and ducked into the kitchen to make the phone call. Puck slunk in after her.

"You should know that I'm furious at you right now," Rachel told him through gritted teeth.

"What? Why?"

"Consider the situation you put me in, and then determine if you really need to ask that question," she fumed.

It didn't take too long for Puck to figure it out. "Yeah, ok. I shouldn't have brought you here. I'm sorry. What's the word on your flight?"

She held up a finger while she completed her phone call.

"Canceled!" she groaned.

…

And Rachel Berry's freakout began. Not that he could blame her. Shelby offered to let everyone stay overnight or as long as they needed to due to the weather. Puck grabbed their stuff from his truck while Rachel made frantic phone calls. He was half-listening when Jesse tried to explain his sorry-ass reasons for egging Rachel and his apologies to Shelby for it. Rachel wasn't there for him to apologize too, so he said that of course he was going to apologize to her once she finished all of her phone conversations. Puck figured that was bullshit, but he listened a little more when Jesse explained what the hell he was doing there.

"I flew home for Thanksgiving, but my parents called and said they couldn't make it to pick me up because of the weather. Fortunately I remembered that my favorite teacher lived nearby," he grinned at Shelby. "So I had the cab driver drop me here in hopes that I could stay over. The hotels are filling up like crazy—I checked first actually. I didn't want to be an imposition."

"It's no trouble, Jesse," Shelby smiled. "I'm glad you're all here and safe."

Puck tuned out because he had a hard time listening to that dickwad talk without wanting to punch his face in. He walked into the kitchen where Rachel was on the phone.

"Daddy, my flight's been canceled! I'm stuck in Cleveland!" she wailed. She didn't even try to reign in her emotions.

"Are you staying in the airport?" Marshall asked her before turning to Aaron. "Rachel's stuck in Cleveland! Do you think we can drive through this mess and get her?"

"No, Daddy! You don't have to risk your life! I'm fine. I'm safe. I'm with Noah…"

"Where are you kids? Alone in some hotel?" Marshall asked, his voice rising with his own panic.

"No, we're not alone in a hotel…" Rachel wasn't sure if what she had to say next was worse. "We're with Shelby Corcoran."

"What?" he shouted. Aaron was freaking out next to him, asking for information, so Marshall put the phone on speaker.

"Shelby Corcoran lives in Cleveland with Beth. Noah knew where she lived, so he and I are here to wait out the storm. And do you remember Jesse St. James? He's here too. It's…well…we're making the best of it."

"Let us talk to Shelby," Aaron demanded.

Rachel dutifully handed her phone to Shelby. Her biological mother looked extremely uncomfortable as she spoke to Rachel's dads, assuring them that everyone was safe and that the visit was a surprised and completely unplanned. She didn't tell them that Rachel was at her house before they even knew about the canceled flights and the ice storm. She returned the phone.

"Daddy?" Rachel asked tentatively. "Are you both mad at me?"

They both sighed in harmony into the phone. "No, sweetie," Marshall said.

Aaron added, "We're glad you're safe and with a responsible adult." Then it dawned on him. "What about your NYU audition? Have you contacted the admissions board to explain that your flight was canceled? Have you rescheduled?"

"Yes, actually I did that before I called you."

"Good girl," they both said.

"I have to wait until their transfer auditions in January, but they'll make a note of which applicants were supposed to have auditions this week but were unable to make it due to the storms."

"Transfer auditions?" Aaron asked. "Does that mean you won't be able to get in right away? We'll see about that! Who do I have to call?"

"Dad, I'm sure they'll make special allowances for those of us who couldn't audition this week. Let's talk about this at home, ok?"

Aaron grunted unhappily, but agreed. He decided he would look into the correct people to contact on his own. "Stay safe, be smart, and call us tomorrow to let us know if you're going to be driving home."

"I will. Love you both."

"We love you too, princess," they said in unison.

Rachel was glad to end the call. This was an emotionally-draining day to be certain. Puck put his arm around her and she gave him a half-smile. She was still mad at him but she was exhausted, and she was grateful for his presence even if he could be annoying and thoughtless. She still loved him and his stupid face. She blushed at her own thoughts and tilted her head to rest it on his chest as they walked into the living room together.

Shelby cleared her throat. "Well, now that it's all settled, we need to figure out sleeping arrangements. I only have one guest bed, and I have the sofa here in the living room."

Jesse spoke up, "I think Rachel should take the bed. I can sleep on the floor so Puckerman can have the sofa."

"Nah, man, you can have the couch," Puck said.

"Really?" Jesse asked, surprised.

Puck shrugged and then grinned. "Yeah, I'll just sleep with Rachel. We're used to it."

Rachel gasped and elbowed him in the gut. "Noah!" she exclaimed in embarrassment. The she glanced from Shelby to Jesse and back. "He really does mean sleeping. We've never…_slept_ together," she clarified awkwardly. "We're not…I've never…"

Puck tried to put the poor girl out of her misery. "Sorry about how that sounded. Rachel and I are fine with sharing a bed, and I will be on my best behavior. Scout's honor." He did a quick scout salute.

Shelby looked at him skeptically then turned to Rachel. "So you're comfortable with that?"

She nodded confidently. "Yes, I trust Noah and so can you."

Shelby bit her lip but nodded. Jesse balked but didn't say anything. Shelby went to her linen closet. "Noah, I have extra blankets so that you can make a fairly comfortable bed on the floor if you'd like."

"Ok, thanks," he said as he took the blankets. He knew he wouldn't use them, but if it made her feel better, whatever.

"I have to put Beth to bed, so please try to stay quiet," Shelby said as she and Beth left the room. Puck followed to give Beth a kiss on the cheek.

"Rachel," Jesse started. "I want to apologize for my abysmal and utterly inexcusable behavior."

She sighed. "Can this wait? I don't want to deal with…this."

"That's fair. Whatever you want," Jesse said, hands up in surrender.

They all decided to get ready for bed for the night and went their separate ways.

…

Rachel went to the guest bathroom to change into her pajamas and do her nighttime rituals. She scurried back into the bedroom to see Noah in a t-shirt and cotton pajama bottoms. He looked so relaxed…and amazing.

"Damn, Berry," he said quietly at the sight of her in the pink silky things she was wearing. He could totally see her nips through that top—and she was getting a little cold—or hot.

She blushed under his gaze. "Um, thank you?"

"Morning wood is a given, but I have to try to make it through the night without busting a nut. Unless you're up for it, that is." He raised his eyebrows suggestively.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," she replied with sincerity.

He trailed his hand along her side, settling on her waist. "Do you wanna get it on?"

"Here? No!" she squeaked.

He dropped his hand. "Yeah, that's what I figured," he grumbled.

"What happened to best behavior, Scout's honor?" she challenged, hands on her hips.

He smirked. "I got kicked out of Scouts. I can't be trusted. So you should stop being so tempting."

"Tempting? Me? How?"

"Well, you're parading around in those tiny pjs for one thing. It's an ice storm and shit and here you are wearing…that." He pointed accusingly at her camisole and shorts.

She crossed her arms indignantly. "I wasn't planning to have company! I was supposed to be spending the night in a hotel in New York right now! Alone!"

He smirked. She was so fucking hot. This wasn't working at all to prevent his hard on. "I like knowing that you wear this stuff when you're alone. Maybe you think of me while you're wearing this?" He played with the strap of her top and lightly grazed her boob.

She inhaled sharply and shivered at his touch. She stepped away from him and took refuge in the bed under the blankets. "I'm sorry that my pajamas are distracting. I'm cold now, so I'll just be here in bed."

"Do I get a goodnight kiss?" he asked, giving her the puppy-dog-eyes.

She made a show of resisting his ploy before smiling. She pulled back the covers and motioned for him to join her.

He grinned and slipped in bed beside her, immediately mauling her with his hands and lips.

"Noah!" she whispered. "We can't do this! They could hear us! Shelby, Jesse, Beth…"

He paused for a moment. It was kinda weird to think about Beth in the next room. But parents did it with their kids in the house all the time, so he brushed off the awkward feeling. Screw Shelby—and especially Jesse could fuck off too. If he could get a little somethin-somethin' tonight, he was going for it. He reached to grab her ass.

But Rachel put on the brakes. "I really don't feel comfortable… I don't want Shelby to think poorly of me—any worse than she already does…and as sexy as you are…" She closed her eyes because the sight of him was lowering her defenses. "And as…desirable…as you make me feel… I just don't want to do anything here tonight except for sleep together. Sleep." She opened one eye, then the other, cautiously appraising him and waiting for his response.

He nodded grudgingly. "Yeah, alright. Thanks for calling me sexy," he grinned and gave her a quick kiss. "G'night, B."

"You are sexy," she said regretfully. Then she pulled her body against his and kissed him.

"Does this mean you changed your mind?" he asked.

"Oh, no…I'm sorry," she blushed.

"Ok, then seriously I have to go to sleep so I don't have a massive boner to deal with from being here with you without being able to do anything about it."

"Oh Noah," she whispered fondly. "I'm really sorry, and I'll make it up to you as soon as possible."

"Deal," he grinned. "Good night for real." He turned his back on her so he could try to think neutral thoughts to keep his erection in check.

"Good night," she sighed and settled into a comfortable position facing away from him. She liked it better when they cuddled, but she understood that the separation was a wise decision. But she was having trouble falling asleep. The entire evening had been unexpected, awkward, upsetting…

"Do you feel like you're auditioning to be part of your own family? Your own life?" Rachel asked, still facing the wall.

"Sleep now, talk later," he murmured automatically. But he was struck by what she said. "Yeah, I guess I sorta do," he whispered. "But go to sleep." He turned and kissed the back of her head, but then he quickly rolled so his back was toward her again.

"If it helps," she whispered, "for me you've already won the part." Her stomach fluttered with the thought that this could be one of those pivotal moments where everything changes…depending on his answer.

Puck's eyes widened in the silence. He didn't quite know what she meant, and he wasn't sure what to say, so he didn't say anything. He just pretended to be falling asleep.

His breathing and the sound of her heart beating were all she could hear as she waited in the dark.

And the moment passed.

…


	14. Give it Time

**Ch. 14** Give it Time

**A.N.** Thanks to everyone for your reviews and shoutouts to **fresch, lovesreading, roots19, and Stessa** for reviews and discussions!

There's much more to go for these characters to grow, but finally here is the song that gave this story its name! I obviously highly recommend listening to this one. You can find the link to the playlist for all of this chapter's songs in my Author's Profile or add the following to the youtube address:

/view_play_list?p=91974F1556AC2634

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Glee, any songs, or anything familiar.

…

Rachel laid in the dark room, overwhelmed with emotion—so much frustration. She tried not to even think about the presence of Jesse—as his arrival was certainly out of anyone's control. As uncomfortable as she was around him, she couldn't blame anyone for that aspect of her current situation. She could blame Noah though for surprising her and basically forcing her into the home of the mother who abandoned her and adopted his baby. Her worst nightmares were coming to life, but she really had been trying to be on her best behavior. Not so much for Shelby's benefit, but for Noah's. He was still scheduled to audition tomorrow, and if there was one thing that Rachel Berry felt strongly about, it was the importance of all-inclusive preparation for auditions. That meant she would try to avoid affecting his mental preparation. Would she give him a piece of her mind on the car ride home? Probably—as long as the roads weren't too bad—no good could come of a distracted driver on icy roads. Would she give him a piece of her mind when they were safe in Lima? Definitely. She just kept chanting to herself, "Let it go for now, let it go for now." She was going to keep holding it in for the sake of his audition. Even while she was mad at him for being a completely self-centered jerk, she still cared so deeply for him and his future (even if that future wasn't with her).

But maybe she needed to protect herself a bit better from having such strong emotions for a boy who wasn't going to be a real part of her future…

Next to her in bed, Puck was having trouble sleeping too. What did she mean when she said he had the part? What part? He wanted to ask her, but he was paralyzed—afraid of what she might say. With Rachel it seemed like everything was tied to performing, so as he tried to figure it out, he could almost hear her voice telling him that he was her _leading man_. She couldn't mean…that she _loved_ him or something, right? His heart raced at the thought. But there was no way she loved him. No way. Not after what she said—how she was going to be a big star on Broadway and to hell with him staying in Ohio. Ok, not her exact words, but that was the gist. Besides, he wasn't sure he wanted her to love him. He was a fuck up. All he'd do is hold her back. And she clearly knew that. She was going places—places he wasn't going to be able to follow. They could do whatever it was they're doing for now because he really wasn't ready to give her up, but love? No. He didn't think he could deal with love. He'd loved Quinn and look how that turned out. Like shit. So yeah, it was better that they stayed away from the love thing—just like they agreed in that contract. He had to protect himself from getting hurt. And he had to protect Rachel. He didn't want to drag her down...

Across the hall, Shelby's mind was racing. The past several hours were kind of a blur as she had been so stunned by the series of events. First came Noah Puckerman inviting himself to her house and then to stay overnight. She wasn't entirely surprised by his call. He had been visiting and keeping in touch, and she hadn't done anything to discourage him really ever since their first meeting. There were a few reasons for this. One was that she never realized what she was getting into by allowing that first visit and because he seemed like an irresponsible teenage boy, she'd assumed he'd lose interest. He still hadn't—and apparently he was planning to move to Cleveland for college! She might have to rethink her stance on his visits…but truth be told, Shelby welcomed the company. She had gone from a lonely championship choir director to a lonely single mom trying to get her graduate degree in music education while giving music lessons. Noah Puckerman was a good-hearted (if somewhat oblivious and inconsiderate) young man; so while she was concerned about how things would progress—especially as Beth got old enough to start asking questions, she didn't mind too much that he put her on the spot and forced her to allow him to spend the night, It wasn't out of character for him at all. The bigger surprise was Rachel Berry arriving with him.

Rachel, the daughter who was never really hers per contractual agreement with Aaron and Marshall Berry; the daughter she had discovered, sought out, and then left again. Shelby cursed herself for her cowardice and wavering. She had felt such an ache in her heart when she had stumbled upon Rachel singing with New Directions, but she didn't feel that dramatic mother-daughter-reuniting-bliss she had expected. The ache didn't go away. She didn't fill that ache with Beth, but her heart was full of love for that beautiful little girl. She was sure that Rachel must feel like she'd been replaced by Beth, which wasn't actually possible, though a completely understandable assumption on Rachel's part—if she really assumed that. But really what could she offer a blossoming, talented young woman like Rachel? She was a _has-been_—No worse! She was a _never-was_! Baby Beth needed her in so many tangible ways, ways Rachel would never need from anyone again. All of these reasons (and countless other half-thoughts) converged to lead her to the worst and best decisions she'd ever made. It was an idea born from low self-esteem and fear, but it was an idea that stuck and drove her to flee from Rachel (worst decision) and adopt Beth (best decision).

She surely had hurt her daughter and her presence was a true surprise, but the biggest shock of the night was revealed when her former student Jesse St. James showed up unannounced. Jesse, who had befriended Rachel on her own urging, had expanded upon her original 'assignment' by dating her, but unbeknownst to her until a few hours ago, he and her choir team had egged—_egged_ Rachel! Shelby couldn't even process that concept now, and she definitely hadn't been able to process it at the time. She was completely appalled and bewildered. Egging a person? It was unimaginable. But Shelby was so ashamed too because she knew that she hadn't discouraged (and maybe had subtly encouraged) a culture among her team that rewarded a cut-throat take-no-prisoners attitude. She knew that New Directions had slashed the tires of her students' SUVs, and she fought for them at McKinley and looked the other way when it came to retaliation. She never imagined that her kids were capable of that type of violence—of that type of _crime_! Everything came to light so quickly-like bullets firing so rapidly that Shelby's mind had jumped from one situation to the next. She hadn't even really apologized to her daughter in person for her own actions as well as for the horrific actions of Jesse and the rest of Vocal Adrenaline. Her heart broke for Rachel at the thought of what she'd gone through, and it broke for herself—for what they'd lost. She cried herself to sleep, muffling her sobs in her pillow.

Jesse shifted uncomfortably on Shelby's living room sofa. He couldn't believe his fortune and misfortune: running into Rachel Berry after all this time while being stuck in an ice storm. There were worse people to be stuck with to be certain—yes, even worse than your ex-girlfriend whom you mistreated and only met because her biological mother manipulated you into it. Well, he couldn't think of anyone specifically who would have been worse to be forced into such an awkward situation, but these were unique circumstances and Rachel was a unique girl. She was as beautiful as ever—actually more beautiful. So much came flooding back to him. She was his first love after all. Had he moved on? Yes. It had been so long and of course he had been dating. And yes, it had irked him when she hadn't replied to his emails trying to apologize, explain, and reconnect; but it was understandable that she'd ignored him. Even he couldn't believe what he had done and why he'd done it. But he _had_ loved her—and they never even had sex! He really wished he'd remedied that back then. But he had let his pride and peer-pressure get the best of him. How could he have done that to someone he loved? Easy. When you've had your heart and your ego broken. But seeing her here now just reminded him of the reasons he was drawn to her in the first place (beyond Shelby's bizarre request). He had moved from his espionage mission to actually dating her because he appreciated her raw talent and was enraptured by her sneaky hotness, her arrogance, her confidence, her shyness, her innocence, her demands of herself and others around her. Seriously, she was freakishly adorable and had such a fantastic combination of traits. Who wouldn't fall in love with her after dating her? Jesse resolved to right his wrongs—to at least put forth his best effort to rekindle a friendship with the girl who would always hold the record for his strangest relationship.

…

Rachel woke up feeling completely disoriented. She was in a strange place and there was a weight draped over her and a quiet tapping sound jarring her from sleep. She opened her eyes drowsily and determined that the weight she felt was from Noah. Although they had fallen asleep apart, sometime during the night he had turned toward her and wrapped his arm around her. She smiled for a moment, and then she realized two things. First, his hand was cupping her breast, of course. Second, the noise she heard was coming from the door.

Jesse had knocked on the guest room door, but didn't get an answer. "Rachel? Guys? Shelby's making breakfast," he said as he entered the room.

Rachel looked at him with bleary eyes and tousled hair. Jesse saw Puck's hand on her and the way she tried to extract herself and wake him up.

Puck opened his eyes sleepily, saw that little douchenozzle in the doorway, and gave Rachel's boob a little squeeze for good measure before he slid his hand away. "Sup?"

"Shelby asked me to wake you up for breakfast," Jesse managed through his clenching jaw before leaving and closing the door.

Rachel elbowed Puck in the ribs, hard. "You're such a jerk!" she whispered harshly.

"Why do you care what Jesse St. Douche thinks?" he griped. He was still tired, but it didn't take long before he knew that this was the wrong response, and he prepared himself for Rachel's rant. He wasn't quite prepared for how far it would go.

"You seem to be the one showing off for him, so you must feel like you have something to prove—though heaven only knows what that is. What you did was not only embarrassing because of the presence of someone else, but it was _rude_ to _me_, and _I care_ that he's probably telling Shelby right now. _And_ I'm still mad at you for putting me in this horrible situation and not even showing anything more than a passing concern!"

Puck sat up in bed and looked her in the eyes. "I'm seriously sorry. I do care, but I don't really know what to do about it. You do realize that you would have had your flight canceled anyway, right? We probably would have ended up here anyway. You heard what the guy said—the hotels were filling up like crazy."

"Those are practical details. I'm talking about emotions…" Rachel sighed. "We can discuss this more later. I don't want to distract you from a good performance at your audition today. I just wish you would be more considerate."

"Compared to that guy, I'm a saint," he mumbled.

"You really think so?" Rachel couldn't help it—she was in a bad mood so even though a voice told her not to bring this up considering his impending audition, she couldn't stop herself. "He and his friends pelted me with eggs _once_. _You and your friends_ pelted me with slushies on too many occasions to count." _Two hundred and sixty two_.

Puck slumped as that reality hit him. He hated himself for that shit and he hated being reminded of it. He still tried to figure out something to help his case. "Eggs thrown at you have to hurt worse than slushies. I apologized—I'm sure he never did—and I thought you forgave me…"

"I did forgive you. You're right, he didn't apologize because an _I'm sorry_ email and a load of excuses in person or otherwise don't count in my book. And while I concede that being pelted with eggs was probably more painful than the cold shock of slushies, there is another difference you're not considering. He humiliated me _once_. You regularly did so. Jesse's no angel, but you're no saint, Noah Puckerman! I'm not trying to compare you two, you're the one who started that. But perhaps you can at least admit that you don't have a leg to stand on when it comes to moral high-ground!" She grabbed her suitcase and marched out of the room to get dressed in the bathroom across the hall.

"Shit," Puck muttered, then panicked when he remembered where he was—he definitely didn't want Beth to overhear and start saying _that_ word. Luckily she wasn't around—she was with Shelby of course. Puck pulled on some clothes—he decided he could shower after breakfast. He had to do two more things: fix things with Rachel and figure out if auditions at CIM had been canceled or what.

…

When Rachel brought her suitcase back to the guestroom, Puck was waiting. He closed the door behind her. "You're mad at me."

"Very astute," she said tightly.

"I suck," he continued.

She nodded. "Yes, you do." Then hurriedly she said, "Not in your performance ability of course! You're going to do amazing."

Puck laughed and shook his head. "See? You're the amazing one. Even when I screw up, you're still acting like my cheerleader." He told himself not to get too worked up about it though. She probably cared about performance in general for everyone—not like he was special.

Rachel bit her lip. She was pleased that he seemed to appreciate her, but her mind flashed to another cheerleader who might still hold a piece of his heart.

Puck continued, stepping toward her. "I just wanna say I'm really sorry for everything."

She raised her eyebrow. "Do you even know what you're sorry for?"

"Yeah. Everything."

"Would you mind elaborating?"

He shifted uncomfortably. "Sorry for all the stuff in the past, and I guess I'm a little sorry for grabbing your boob. Sorta," he admitted. "But right now I'm mostly sorry for bringing you here—I realized too late what an ass I was being. Maybe we could've gotten a hotel or you could've gotten on an earlier flight or something…I dunno. But I know I'm sorry. And I know…I don't wanna lose you."

His eyes looked so sincere…and so green. She had to look away for a moment to catch her breath.

"Lose me?" she asked in a wavering voice.

"Yeah, because I'm such an asshat sometimes. I mean, I'm gonna try not to be…I just can't make any guarantees…about anything." He shrugged helplessly, silently begging her to forgive him.

She nodded. Part of her wanted to kiss him—he looked so vulnerable, but she was rooted in place. "If you try not to be a jerk, then I'll try to be understanding."

"That's fair," he nodded sadly. He really wanted to kiss her—just to make sure they were gonna be ok. But there was another knock at the door.

"Breakfast," Jesse said sharply without opening the door. Rachel opened it and followed Jesse to the kitchen. Puck trailed behind. But he perked up when he heard Beth—he hadn't ever heard her say so many words before. He picked up the pace into the kitchen.

"Mmm, more!" Beth said.

"What do you say?" Shelby asked.

"Pwease?"

"Yes, you may have more, sweetie," Shelby smiled. Then she looked up to see her guests. She wasn't sure exactly how to act, but she decided it would be best to act as though nothing was too unusual about the current situation—in spite of the strain. "I wanted to make a nice breakfast for you all, and I wasn't sure how early you need to leave for your audition, Noah."

"Thanks, Shelby," Puck said, immediately grabbing a plate to dish up some scrambled eggs and hashbrowns. He almost took the bacon but the disapproving face of his mother flashed before him, so he left it and just snagged some toast. Years of being fine with pork had changed once Quinn came to live with them (briefly), and Puck had been trying to be a better Jew, a better person—at least since a few minutes ago.

Jesse handed Rachel a plate and gestured for her to go first. She smiled and whispered, "Thanks" before getting the hashbrowns and toast her vegan diet would permit. Jesse followed behind her and took a bit of everything. There were just enough seats at the table. They finished their breakfasts in fairly awkward silence.

"All done!" grinned Beth as the others took their plates to the sink.

Puck's heart melted. "She's just the cutest thing, right?" he asked—knowing there wouldn't be any contradictions. He just couldn't get over how perfect his little girl was. "Yesterday I could see how much she looks like me, but she looks like Quinn too, you know? Her hair's blonder in the sun, and I think her eyes are the shape of her m-, of Quinn's."

Shelby winced. So did Rachel. Jesse shifted in his seat and wanted to reach for Rachel's hand for some reason. But he didn't.

Shelby changed the subject. "So when do you have to leave for your audition? Rachel, will you be staying here in the meantime?" Shelby hoped they could talk.

Rachel turned to Puck. "Perhaps I should just go with you to your audition so we can go straight home to Lima from there."

Jesse raised his eyebrow. "Have you seen the roads this morning?"

Puck grimaced and whispered to Rachel, "I know how much you wanna get outta here, but I don't think it's very safe."

"If it's safe enough for you, then it's safe enough for me to be with you!" she protested, not bothering to control her volume.

"Rach, if anything happened to you…" his voice trailed off before he cleared his throat. "I just don't want anything to happen to you. Your dads would kill me. Heck, _Schue_ would kill me!" he grinned and bumped her arm. She rolled her eyes but smiled a little.

Shelby wondered if she should jump in and say that she'd kill him if something happened to Rachel. But the timing was off and probably would've come out sounding forced.

He continued solemnly. "This is the kind of weather where I could easily fishtail in the truck, or someone could t-bone me, seriously."

"Then why are you even going? Aren't they going to cancel the auditions—or postpone them?"

"Sorta. They're doing reduced hours—we were supposed to get there at 8am to get our assignment. Now we can get there between 10am and noon. And they're closing it at 4pm instead of 6pm so that people can try to drive when it's still daylight. The trucks have been out salting and scraping the roads, but it's still icy and you just never know. Anyway, I'd really feel better if I know you're safe here. I'm really sorry…"

Rachel nodded dejectedly, but she didn't want to stress him out more than she already had. "Ok. I'll stay here."

"Thanks, B." He kissed her cheek. "How 'bout this? After I shower and get ready, I'll check out the roads and see if I think it's safe. Then it will be up to you to decide if you'll stay safe and sound here or risk it with me."

She nodded and her lips twitched into a half-smile as he turned to get ready for the audition. "It's always a risk with you," she whispered.

"Huh?" he turned around.

She motioned for him to keep going, so he did.

Rachel wasn't sure what to do now that Noah wasn't there as a buffer. She didn't really want to talk to Shelby or Jesse. "I think I'll do some work on my laptop in the guest room, if you don't mind."

"Be my guest," Shelby said. "But, Rachel, before you get started on work, I was hoping we could talk."

"I'm really behind on my homework," Rachel answered lamely.

Shelby picked up on the excuse and didn't push the issue. She didn't follow Rachel when she left the living room.

Jesse did.

"Hey, Rachel," he said as he knocked on the doorframe. "I know you haven't responded to my emails, but I hope you at least read them."

"I deleted them," she said simply as she sat on the bed and busied herself with her laptop. This was only a partial lie because she had read the messages before she hit delete.

"Then you don't know how sorry I am," he said as he stepped into the room. "It was one of the worst things a person could do. Especially a person who loved you."

Rachel jerked and looked up at him in shock. "You loved me?"

"Yes, you knew that," he said as he sat on the bed next to her. "I told you that then, remember?"

His blue eyes stared into hers. She thought she detected some type of hope there, some sincerity; but it was hard to tell with Jesse St. James. "I might have a vague recollection along those lines."

Jesse chuckled. "Good. I'm hoping that even if you can't forgive me—because that would be asking too much—that you can at least think about becoming friends."

Rachel looked at him skeptically. She was saved from answering by a fake coughing sound in the doorway.

"Sorry to interrupt," Puck said sarcastically. "But I have to finish getting ready." He was wrapped in a towel and walked over to his suitcase for his clothes.

"We'll get out of your way," Jesse said.

"Rachel can stay," Puck said. "But I don't need you staring in envy at what I'm packin', you know?"

Jesse rolled his eyes. "I can assure you that would not be a problem."

Puck scoffed. Rachel picked up her laptop to head out of the room as well. "I'll be out here," she said. "Just don't leave your wet towel lying on the floor. That would be very rude," she chided.

"Yeah, ok," he grumbled. "Here, catch!" he called as he tossed the towel. "Now there's no problem."

Rachel flushed as he stood naked before her. "Noah," she admonished before closing the door.

He smirked.

Jesse turned to see Rachel holding the towel. "He didn't," he said knowing the answer.

She nodded and looked exasperated—but Jesse caught her small smile.

Wow, she really liked that jerk—even when he was an ass! If Jesse hadn't gone back to Vocal Adrenaline, he probably could've worked things out with her. She probably would've put up with a lot of crap…Not that he would have given her a lot of trouble. They had a really good thing going…for a while.

…

Rachel sat stoically in the living room with her laptop while Jesse turned on the weather channel. "You never answered my question," Jesse reminded her. "Friends?"

"I'll think about it," she said.

Shelby was getting Beth dressed in her room, and emerged to the awkwardly quiet living room. Puck didn't take long to emerge from the bedroom, guitar in hand. "Well, I'm heading out," he announced.

Rachel smiled. "Break a leg. You'll wow them, I know it."

Puck kissed her lips and flashed a quick grin before he headed out the door. Rachel closed it behind him and let her shoulders slump a little.

Shelby spoke cautiously. "So you two seem to be more than just friends."

"No kidding," Jesse muttered.

Rachel blushed and nodded, taking a step away from the door. "Yes, recently our friendship has grown into something more. Does that bother you?"

"No, of course not," Shelby responded.

Jesse didn't answer. He assumed Rachel didn't care if it bothered him.

She didn't.

She wasn't even sure if she cared if it bothered Shelby. More curious than anything. But she wanted to limit her contact with her bio-mom and ex-boyfriend as much as possible.

"So, Rachel," Shelby started, "I know this is uncomfortable, but I think we need to talk. I'd like to explain some things and apologize for myself and the actions of Vocal Adrenaline."

Rachel bristled. "Why don't you explain why Jesse here knew your address in Cleveland, but you didn't tell your own daughter that you moved?"

Shelby's jaw dropped open.

"I can explain that," said Jesse calmly. "I tracked her down. I realized that UCLA wasn't the place for me—to many hipster actor types. I don't just want to be an actor-that would deprive the world of my voice, so I decided to transfer to NYU. I was afraid that some of my profs would be angry that I was leaving their program and would give me bad letters of rec because of that. I found a few instructors I trusted, but I thought Coach Corcoran would be an excellent resource."

"Oh," Rachel said quietly. "I'm sorry I jumped to conclusions."

"It's understandable that you're upset with me," Shelby replied.

"Yes, it is," Rachel answered.

Jesse tried to change the subject. "So, Rachel, I hear that you're applying to NYU as well? We should discuss your strategy and such."

She raised her eyebrow and searched his eyes. Again they looked sincere. "Ok."

There was a knock at the door and Puck walked into the house. "So I drove through the neighborhood and the roads look pretty good. You still wanna come with, Rach?"

She beamed and nodded vigorously. "Just let me get my things."

"You don't need your suitcase and stuff. Just whatever you want to have with you while you wait with me. We'll be coming back—if that's ok with you, Shelby. I think the roads are gonna refreeze tonight, so if I can't finish my auditions in time, we'll spend another night and leave tomorrow morning."

"That sounds like the safest plan," Shelby agreed.

"Thanks," Puck said. "Bye again."

"Bye-bye!" called Beth.

Everyone smiled and Puck and Rachel waved goodbye to his daughter as they left the house.

…

"So what were you and Jesse talking about?" Puck asked not-so-casually.

"He apologized again for the past and suggested that we work on being friends."

"And you said yes," Puck grumbled.

Rachel rolled her eyes at his moodiness but reminded herself that they were on their way to his audition. "I believe in second chances, but I didn't exactly say yes. Let's talk about something else—like how this process will work. Do you have separate auditions for music composition and guitar?"

Puck went along with her change of subject. And it only took about thirty minutes to get to the place—not bad considering the state of the roads and that they'd never been to the place before.

…

Puck felt better having Rachel's encouragement to bolster his confidence before he had to audition. He was especially nervous about the composition one—because this would be a judgment of his original songs. But when he wrapped his arms around Rachel and she kissed him on the cheek and whispered the words, "Stay confident; you'll do fantastic," he felt pretty good about his chances and the state of the world.

…

Rachel waited in the atrium of the music recital hall with the other students and their families. She called her dads to update them on the situation, then found a spot to settle. She did some work on her laptop and hummed along to her iTunes. Apparently she started singing out loud at some point because a man tapped her on the shoulder.

"Excuse me, Miss, are you auditioning?"

She blushed and shook her head. "No, I'm sorry. I didn't realize I was so loud. I'll refrain from vocalizing in the hall."

"Oh, no, you're not in trouble," he smiled and adjusted his glasses. "I assumed you were here for the voice auditions. You're clearly a singer."

She beamed. "I am a singer, but I'm just waiting for my friend."

"You're not applying?" he asked, puzzled. "Oh, are you a junior instead of a senior? Next year then?"

"Well, I am a senior…"

He nodded knowingly. "You have your heart set on another school. I see. But you don't want to go to the same school as your friend? Is she not that good of a friend?"

She gave a half smile. "My friend is a male…and it's complicated."

The man smiled back. "Hmm. Well, you may be wondering why I'm pestering you."

She shrugged but gave a small nod. She knew she was talented, why wouldn't the Cleveland Institute of Music want her?

"The weather has drastically reduced the number of auditions we have today, and I'm just itching for something to do. I'm on my way to get lunch, but if we don't have someone else waiting to audition when I get back, you should consider giving it a go."

"I suppose I shouldn't close any doors—especially when someone is holding the door open for me."

His brown eyes sparkled as he grinned at her. "Good choice! You will need to fill out an application first. You can do so online on this devoted computer or you can fill out a paper application, also available in the main lobby."

"Thank you…sir."

"Oh, yes! I'm Dr. Hoffman. And you are?"

"Rachel Berry. Pleased to meet you."

"The pleasure is mine. I'll see you after lunch."

Rachel smiled. This was certainly not in her plan, but she found it hard to turn down an opportunity to perform.

…

Rachel finished her impromptu audition before Puck finished his second audition, so she was waiting in place as though nothing out of the ordinary had happened.

Really it's not as though anything had changed. There was only a small chance that she wouldn't get into NYU (she hoped), so it was extremely unlikely that her auditions at Case yesterday and CIM today would matter in any way. She decided she was perfectly content to let Noah tell her all about his auditions as they drove back to Shelby's. He was really endearing when he was so excited like this.

"You've been pretty quiet," Puck said after he got through all of the details of his stories. "You ok? You still mad?"

The way he asked it so casually—as if she had no right to be mad just made her angry again. She crossed her arms indignantly. "Yes, I'm still upset! Why shouldn't I be?"

"Whoa, ok. It's just that I thought we'd cleared this up. I said I'm sorry, you said you'd forgive me…I said I'll try not to be a jerk, you said…"

"I know what I said," she sighed. "And I am trying to be understanding. And you're not a jerk—mostly. We just need to talk. Later, when we're back home. Not here."

He nodded. Delaying a fight was good with him. He hated that she was mad at him still. They didn't talk for the rest of ride back to Shelby's.

"Hmph," Puck grunted as they pulled up to her house.

"What is it?"

"I figured St. James would have left while the sun was out and the roads were decent."

"How do you know he's still here? He came in a cab."

"I can see his curly-mop-head in the window," he gestured.

They headed inside to find Jesse at the piano playing the Sesame Street theme with Beth and Shelby.

_Sunny days _

_Sweeping the clouds away_

_On my way to where the air is sweet_

_Can you tell me how to get, how to get to Sesame Street?_

Beth was sitting on Shelby's lap banging on the keys and 'singing' along with a few words.

"You're back!" Jesse said with a smile.

Rachel couldn't help but smile in return.

"And you're still here," Puck said sourly.

Jesse's smile faltered for a moment, but he plastered it back on. "I see why you'd be surprised. I was about to leave, but then the power went out so I stayed and helped build a fire to stay warm."

"Oh, no!" Rachel exclaimed dramatically. "It's good that you were here, Jesse. How long has the power been out?"

"It's been out most of the day," Shelby answered. "The combination of ice on power lines and trees is a bad one." She turned to Puck. "How was your audition? How were the roads?" she asked anxiously.

"Fine, and getting bad. In that order," he shrugged.

Jesse nodded. "Yes, I thought it would all refreeze, so I thought it would be safer to leave tomorrow morning. We decided to play music for entertainment. Come join us."

The new arrivals hung up their coats and took off their shoes at the door. Jesse tried to encourage Rachel. "Here's a little song you all know. Join in when you're ready." He played the opening notes to _Hello _and began to sing.

"_I've been alone with you inside my mind. And in my dreams I've kissed your lips a thousand times_…"

Rachel shook her head. "I can't."

Puck could tell she was upset and tried to shut this crap down. "What's this? A dysfunctional family sing-along?" He glared at Jesse, who just laughed good-naturedly.

Shelby even smiled, not picking up on the issues Rachel had with the song Jesse had chosen. "It isn't a sing-along yet, but it has the makings of one. I think I feel inspired. Would you like to hold Beth, Rachel? She wants to play piano now, but I'm going to get my guitar."

Rachel agreed a little reluctantly and slid next to Jesse and held out her arms for Beth, who happily continued playing with the keys. Puck put down his guitar and plopped down on the couch, watching Jesse and Rachel interact with his daughter.

Shelby came back downstairs with her guitar in hand and sat on the chair between the piano and the sofa. "This is a song I'd like to share with you all, but especially Rachel. You see, I wish I would have turned to this song at several points in my life, but most importantly when I first became overwhelmed with everything I had lost by not being there for your childhood and the strangeness of the attempt I made at reconnection. It really applies to so many situations we all face in life. It's called _Give it Time_."

Shelby strummed her guitar and sang with a bittersweet smile.

_Where are you off to in such a hurry, girl?_

_Is something chasing you?_

_What is this spinning round in circles, little girl?_

_Is it the world or is it you?_

Chorus:_ There's no use trying to stop this_

_There's no use trying to make it go away_

_Before you disappear_

_Just give it time_

_Just give it time_

_What are you hiding from?_

_What do you think will happen?_

_If you see this one through?_

_This one through._

Chorus

At first Rachel didn't want to let the song affect her. She was still too hurt. But in spite of herself, she was moved by the thought of what Shelby might have gone through when she was deciding to abandon her. But then as the song continued, it seemed as if she were listening to a song designed for her current situation—not with Shelby, but with Noah Puckerman.

_Where are you off to in such a hurry, girl?_

_Give it a little time_

_Give it a little time_

_There's no use trying to stop this_

_There's no use trying to make it go away_

_Before you disappear_

_Just give it time_

Maybe she shouldn't be so quick to write off what they have as temporary. Maybe she should give it time to develop…she always seemed to come back to Noah. He was just so frustrating! Why did he have to be so frustrating but so completely…loveable?

_There's no use trying to stop this_

_There's no use trying to make it go away_

_Before you disappear_

_Just give it time_

_Just give it time_

Shelby finished, and she blinked back tears. "I should have given our relationship time, Rachel. I'm really so sorry for leaving the way I did, and I know I can't make up for the hurt I've caused you and all that lost time; but I want you to know that I'm willing to try." Her voice cracked with emotion and a tear fell that she didn't bother to wipe away. She sat there with her guitar while her biological daughter sat holding her adopted daughter in her arms. Shelby set down her guitar and walked awkwardly over to give Rachel a hug.

Rachel sat stiffly, unable to lift her arms anyway—but unwilling to let the emotion in the music override her hurt.

"Too soon?" Shelby asked as she took Beth.

Rachel nodded. "It's not easy to forgive, though I'm sure I will do that sincerely in time. But I won't forget. I'll never forget."

"Of course…"

Puck looked on awkwardly, as did Jesse.

Puck cleared his throat. "I guess I could play something."

Rachel looked at him gratefully. "Yes, that would be lovely."

He gave a small smile. "Good. This one's for you." He picked up his guitar.

_My eye's reflection  
Windows perfection  
Look and you'll see  
The things I can be_

The graves have passed  
The moments don't last  
Like the gods of old days  
That don't see my way  
What I want today

Chorus: _Don't look away, if you do then I may…  
No one knows truth, not even you  
You let your mind show  
Hate that I've known  
I've been there before  
Don't look away anymore_

Your stare is like a spot on the sun  
I'm blind but the only one  
Who knows what to say to you  
I say it today to you

_Your stare's like a wave  
Breakaway  
From my life in the sand  
A simple plan  
What I want today_

Chorus  
_  
You can't see me now  
All those games you play  
I can't know you now  
I need one more day  
Cause I want to tell you…_

Rachel looked at him from her place on the piano bench next to Jesse. Was he saying that one day he wanted to tell her…that _he loved her_? Could that be possible? Was she hoping for too much?

Chorus

_Don't look away, if you do than I may…  
No one knows truth, not even you  
Not even you _

_Not even you_

Jesse appraised Puck curiously. "From the sounds of that song, it looks like you're having girlfriend troubles with Rachel."

"Girlfriend?" Puck asked, surprised.

"Well, given what Rachel said and what I walked in on in the bedroom, I just assumed."

Rachel protested that she didn't say anything about 'girlfriend' while Shelby latched onto the 'bedroom' part.

"What did you walk in on?" she asked tensely.

"Nothing," they all said.

Puck looked at Rachel who looked really upset. He didn't know if it was because she had said she was his girlfriend and he just contradicted that or if it was because Shelby was freaking out about what Jesse may have seen in the bedroom.

(She was upset about both.)

Jesse tried to cover for them a bit. "I just saw them cuddling. That's all. And then Rachel said they were more than friends, which made sense. I didn't realize you two don't consider yourselves boyfriend and girlfriend. My apologies."

Rachel nodded, and Puck followed suit. Shelby looked perplexed. "I don't understand."

"I'm sure I'm reading too much into the song selections," Jesse said. "Maybe I should do another."

"You had your turn, dude," Puck said.

Rachel wasn't sure what to think between the song lyrics and then Noah's surprise by the term girlfriend. She was still reeling from Shelby's revelation, not to mention Noah's confusing turns. But when the world raged around her, she could always turn to music.

"I suppose I could play something…This is a favorite of Daddy's," she said a little pointedly. She didn't exactly mean to make Shelby feel bad, but she did take heart in the shadow that passed over her mother's face. "Feel free to join in when you recognize it." She primly turned on the piano bench to face the keys, and Jesse reluctantly vacated the bench after the glare from Puck. Rachel began _In Your Eyes_, modeled from the Sara Bareillis cover of Peter Gabriel's original, but Rachel sang in a higher key and alternated between her soprano and her belting voice.

_Love, I get so lost sometimes  
Days pass and this emptiness fills my heart  
When I want to run away  
I drive off in my car  
But whichever way I go  
I come back to the place you are_

All my instincts, they return  
The grand facade, so soon will burn  
Without a noise, without my pride  
I reach out from the inside

(Repeat)

Rachel stared into the fireplace. She didn't want to actually catch his eyes—then she might not be able to get through the song.

_In your eyes  
The light the heat  
I am complete  
I see the doorway of a thousand churches  
(Your eyes)  
The resolution of all my fruitless searches  
In your eyes_

_Love, I don't like to see so much pain  
So much wasted and this moment keeps slipping away  
I get so tired of working so hard for our survival  
I look to the time with you to keep me awake and alive_

And all my instincts, they return  
And the grand facade, so soon will burn  
Without a noise, without my pride  
I reach out from the inside

In your eyes  
The light the heat  
I am complete  
In your eyes (your eyes)  
I see the doorway of a thousand churches (in your eyes)

Oh, I want to be that complete  
In your eyes  
In your eyes  
In your eyes

_Love, I get so lost sometimes_

Rachel kept her seat but turned to face her audience.

"That was beautiful, Rachel," Shelby said, a little choked up.

Puck slid next to her on the bench. "That was…I've never liked that song really until now."

"Amazing as always, Rachel," Jesse said almost proudly. But his comment broke Rachel's gaze from Puck's eyes as intended. "You said you're not giving up on your dreams of Broadway, right? And you're still auditioning at NYU?" Jesse implored.

Rachel nodded resolutely.

"Good. I'll hold you to that," he gave her a playful warning, but he meant it.

"And how will you do that?" she challenged.

"By keeping in touch with you, Rachel Berry. I'll be able to help you learn the ins and outs of the program, the city, everything. I'll be at your service."

Puck glowered while Rachel smiled hesitantly. "Thank you, Jesse. It might be nice to have a familiar face and someone who shares the same interests to help me—assuming I'll be accepted to NYU of course."

"You will," everyone else said.

Rachel nodded, but with uncharacteristic modesty replied, "Thank you. I hope so."

Puck felt a knot in his stomach, but he didn't really know what to say.

Shelby clapped her hands together. "Well, I think it's time to figure out what to do about dinner without electricity."

They all headed to the kitchen to help.

After a make-shift dinner, Shelby had another announcement. "Considering that the fireplace is our source of heat, I think we'll all be sleeping in the living room. But I don't want any…things happening. Is that clear?" She eyed Puck.

"Of course!" Rachel exclaimed aghast.

"Yeah, it's clear," Puck said.

The guys helped move furniture so that they could put some mattresses on the living room floor and make some beds. Because Beth had an early bedtime, they all had to be quiet for the night pretty early.

In some ways, Rachel was glad for the dark and the quiet.

…

They left first thing in the morning. The power was restored, but all three of Shelby's houseguests left before she could even make them breakfast.

To be honest, Shelby was a bit relieved. She actually didn't have that much food to feed so many people for too many days (considering she hadn't been given any notice of their arrival). But mostly she had just been so tense the entire time, and even though things weren't resolved with Rachel, at least the issues wouldn't be staring her in the face with sad brown eyes. She did ask Rachel if she'd like to keep in touch via email starting after she turned eighteen. Rachel had pursed her lips, but nodded in the affirmative.

Shelby hoped she could one day make things right…in time.

…

As she sat in the passenger seat looking out the window, Rachel had a lot on her mind.

"So…pretty crazy, huh?" Puck asked awkwardly.

"Just concentrate on the road. I'll just get upset, get you upset, if we start talking about this now.

"Is this still about the boob thing?"

Rachel sighed.

"It started in my sleep, you know," he said. "My body just knew what it wanted."

"Another warm body to grope?"

"_Your_ warm body," he corrected.

"Mark me down as skeptical," she said as she tried to actually feel skeptical instead of hopeful. She was still upset with him—he just made it impossible to stay mad the way she wanted to be. "What you did in your sleep wasn't the bad part from this particular instance. What you did when you woke up was—and you're not even sorry. It's just so frustrating."

"I am sorry. I was an ass, like I said. That Jesse guy just…every time I see him I wanna punch him in the nuts."

A giggle escaped from Rachel, and Puck grinned at his accomplishment. "That's understandable, I suppose," she said with some amusement in her voice. "We're just going to have to work on our issues."

"Well, we can't have make-up sex to work out those frustrations since we haven't had sex yet. But we could have make-up make-out…What do ya say?"

Rachel was disappointed that he moved right to the physical aspect of their relationship. "I'm not really in the mood…"

"Do you want me to try to get you in the mood or just leave you alone?"

"We're still driving," she pointed out.

"Yeah, ok."

Moments of silence passed before Puck spoke up again. "I was gonna ask you, you know."

"Ask me what?"

"The girlfriend question…I just…I wanted to find the right way to do it. And I didn't want to make you think I was asking you to pressure you for sex…"

"Oh!" Rachel was surprised. "I wouldn't have thought that _doing it_ was your reason."

"Really?" he asked skeptically.

"_Probably_ not."

He let out a bark of a laugh. "That's what I thought."

"Don't you think we basically act as though we're boyfriend and girlfriend already?" she asked shyly.

He paused. "Yeah, I guess you're right."

"So why were you so surprised at Shelby's?" she asked.

"Because I hadn't asked you yet." Then he glanced over at her tentatively. "So do you wanna?"

"What? Have sex or be your girlfriend?" she asked with a smile playing on her lips.

"Well, both," he smirked, "but I was going for girlfriend. If you wanna give me the bonus right away, I'm all about it."

"Maybe not right away," she smiled slyly.

"So…is that a yes?"

"Yes."

Neither one could stop smiling.

"We still have issues to discuss," Rachel reminded him as he dropped her off at her house.

"Yep, I know," he grinned. "We'll work 'em out," he said confidently.

"I think so too."

…

Of course upon her return to Lima, Rachel told Kurt about the latest developments. She skimmed over the horrible weekend at Shelby's and focused on the boyfriend part.

"So you two haven't had sex yet?" Kurt asked in disbelief.

"Well, no. I've never…I'm a virgin and I've been concerned given the difficulties that Noah wasn't the right person for me to give that to."

"So all this time you two have been together or whatever, you've just been fooling around? Damn, he must really have it bad for you."

"Really?" she asked hopefully.

Kurt raised his eyebrow.

Rachel toned it down and decided to play it cool. "There are many things two people can do besides sexual intercourse, as I'm sure you know."

"Why are you so sure I know?" Kurt asked suspiciously.

"Because you're a boy. You clearly have the equipment to be proficient at hand jobs, more so than I. And of course there are blow jobs." When she saw the scandalized look on Kurt's face, she blushed deeply. "I've gone too far. I'm _so_ sorry for being so inappropriate."

"No, don't apologize. I'm just surprised, but I really shouldn't be. Of course you've been doing stuff like that to keep Puck sniffing after you like a dog."

Rachel wrinkled her nose. "Honestly, Kurt, you make everything sound so disgusting. And if you must know, I've only tried the…blow job thing once. I wasn't very good. It's not very easy. I could use some tips."

Kurt's eyes grew wide. "You're looking at the wrong gay. I've only had one boyfriend—we're each other's first boyfriends. We don't really know what we're doing at all. On that front you've done more than I have, so I'll be looking to _you_ for tips! …Really, only once?"

She nodded and blushed. "At the Halloween party…in the bathroom…"

"Oh. My. God!" he exclaimed with a gleeful light in his eyes and a look of awe. But that look changed to disgust. "Oh my god," he grimaced.

"I know…it's terrible…I just…couldn't help myself I guess."

"Wow, I don't even know what to say to that. I'm definitely going to be looking at you for tips!" he emphasized.

"Maybe I need to do some research," Rachel said thoughtfully.

Kurt chuckled. "I'm sure Puck would be more than willing to teach you."

"You're probably right. And that would most likely be better than an ill-considered internet search or asking Santana and Brittany for advice." Rachel wrinkled her nose again and Kurt nodded in agreement.

"It sounds like Mr. Puckerman is in for a reward for his leap into relationship status. I trust he's been rewarding you as well."

Rachel blushed again and nodded. "Yes, he has."

…

**A.N.** My own power went out in the process of writing this story, playing a role in the time it took to finish. Mostly I was just busy and having a hard time with the subject of this chapter. Also, these next several weekends I have plans including going out of state for my sister's wedding and going to a friend's wedding. The weekends are when I do most of my writing, so this may result in some delays in the updates. They'll still happen, but they might take me longer than my typical 7-day-post-time during the month of March. Sorry in advance! I hope you won't abandon this story! I promise that I won't!

Finally, some of you left unsigned reviews (on different topics) so I have a general message. First, it may seem like some of the things you don't want to happen will start to happen, but you can expect the unexpected… Also, even though I upped this story from T to M, it's unlikely that I'll be able to fit smut into every chapter because I'm actually writing this story for a plot that's been in my head, not as a vehicle for smut. Hopefully there will still be things that keep you reading even when the chapter is light on smut… I'm glad you like the smut, but sometimes you may have to get your fix elsewhere. I'm sure there are plenty of places ;)


	15. Eyes Open, Eyes Closed

**Ch. 15 Eyes Open, Eyes Closed**

**A.N.** Sorry for the delay! Throughout this month I might not be able to post each chapter within 7 days, but I will be finishing this story even if it takes me a while between updates. Thanks to everyone sticking with it and for making this almost as popular (based on Alerts) as my first story, _Junior Year_. (Only 8 more story alerts needed to pass it!)

As a reward to some for your patience, you can find a bit of **smut** at the beginning of this chapter.

For those I owe messages, I'll start on them during a break at work, but I had to get this posted first ;)

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Glee, any songs, or anything familiar.

…

With Thanksgiving preparations looming and the break from school already underway, Rachel knew she had to make it a point to have _A Talk_ with Noah Puckerman as soon as possible.

Puck didn't exactly forget that yesterday when he asked Rachel to be his girlfriend she had said they needed to _talk_, but he wasn't going to remind her either. He wasn't sure if she had more to be pissed about, and he wasn't exactly looking forward to that. But he was willing to get through that part to get to the good stuff. So when his mom took his sister for last-minute Thanksgiving grocery shopping, he called Rachel.

She actually came over with a speech literally written on pink index cards, and he really tried to pay attention and understand everything she was saying. Really. But whenever anyone started talking in a lecture-tone with him, his brain tended to tune out. When she seemed to pause for air and ask him what he thought, he had a response.

"So…this seems like a lot to remember. Do you think you could leave those note cards with me or something so I can like…study?"

She beamed at him like he'd just said the best thing ever.

"Of course I can! That would be very considerate of you, Noah! I'm so relieved you're taking this seriously! It's such a heartening sign for this next step we're taking."

"Yeah, well…gotta keep my girl happy," he shrugged. She was still beaming ridiculously, so he thought he'd try his luck. "So, how about we consummate this next step?" They were already on his bed, so…

He raised his eyebrows in a way that was comical and sexy at the same time. Rachel bit her lip as she was torn on what to do. _Of course_ the boy with the limited vocabulary would know words related to sex like _consummate_, she thought with chagrin. Why did he have to be so sexy about everything? But she wasn't ready—that wouldn't send the right signal.

"I'm not quite ready for…consummation. I still want to allow our relationship to…progress…emotionally and…physically…"

"Then what better way to progress…" he started as he leaned in for a kiss—and a grope.

It took a moment for Rachel to push back. "Wait! We haven't even been on a date!"

"I was gonna take you on one—to ask you, you know…" he fumbled, thinking of his plans to ask her to be his girlfriend and how that had gone wrong.

He looked so shy—a rare look on Noah Puckerman. Rachel melted for him. "I think you're a romantic at heart," she smiled.

"Me? Whaa?" He looked at her with shock.

"Yes, you. You may have a reputation for being a ladies' man, but you're a lot more than that, Noah. You don't even seem to have a problem with monogamy. You seem to really dive in and give it your all."

His sweet smile turned suggestive. "I'd like to dive into you and give you my all," he growled.

When Rachel noticed he was already developing a significant bulge in his pants, she felt a heat and tingling inside. "Maybe I'm not ready for _your all_, but I have been considering asking for your guidance in how to…give you what you need."

Puck was stunned into silence momentarily before his cock kicked his brain into action. "Baby, you're good at everything you do, but if you want to know something, I'll tell you anything you want…when my mouth isn't busy on other things." He scored the kiss this time—no pushing away. He took advantage of her willingness and explored her body with his hands. Her little moan told him she was into it—and while she still wasn't ready to go all the way, it sounded like she was at least ready for a little action.

She was.

They were naked in record time, and Puck enjoyed the view. He stiffened further at the sight of her toned beautiful body in his bed. Just as he was about to go down on her, she put her hand on his shoulder.

"I want to try—if you'll guide me."

She looked down and Puck knew that she was talking about giving him head. The anticipation was killing him. But he wasn't sure how to respond—a lot of girls didn't want to be told anything about it—and they definitely didn't want to be literally guided. Santana had hated it when he put his hand on her head when she was going down. He didn't want to say that out loud either and ruin his chances of getting this blow job.

Instead, he kissed her. "Just do whatever you feel comfortable doing—I guarantee you that I'll enjoy it. And if you can't…if it's too long…the tip is the most sensitive…"

She looked resolutely at his erection. She was going to do this.

Puck almost laughed at the determined expression on her face, but that didn't stop him from being turned on as fuck. He laid back, but propped himself up with his pillows—he wanted to watch this. And the combination of the sensations and seeing her on all fours in front of him was mind-blowing. Her lips found his cock, and then he felt her tongue, her mouth.

"Shit, Rach," he groaned. "This is hot as hell."

That gave her more confidence. Her hair was in her face and getting in the way, but otherwise she felt like she was getting the hang of this—and the action was surprisingly erotic. She had been afraid that it would be more like work now that she was concentrating so hard, but she could feel her own heat rising.

Puck watched her—the way her boobs were dangling, tempting him—with one close enough to grab. He reached for her and pulled gently. "I want you so badly," he told her.

"Mmm," she moaned in agreement, mouth still doing working him.

He moved his hand, cupping her ass, then going for the sweet spot—playing with her swollen clit and wet folds before plunging inside her.

She stopped in surprise for a moment before she realized this was a way they could orgasm together without actually having sex…that is if she could keep up what she was doing while she started shaking uncontrollably and clenching around his fingers as they hit her just right. She remembered his advice, and she focused her work on the tip and added her hand to slide up and down his shaft.

"Fuck…Rachel…"

When she felt the tell-tale undulation preceding his eruption, she backed away instinctively and covered him with her hand. But he continued his work with his fingers, unconcerned by the hot liquid he'd released.

"I wanna make you come," he growled.

And actually, she was right there, the waves rolling over her, until she collapsed on his bed. She was exhausted, and frankly her jaw was a little sore, but she was truly happy. She looked at the beautiful boy beside her.

That was her boyfriend.

"Wow," she breathed.

"Yeah, wow," he echoed. "That was awesome."

She giggled. "I agree, but I was actually in awe of the knowledge that you and I are officially dating."

He grinned and propped his head on his elbow to look at her. "Dating… So what do we do now? Do we tell our parents or something?" he asked.

"Sure, why wouldn't we?"

"Well, as soon as I tell my mom, she's going to freak out, in a good way," he assured her when he caught the panic in her eyes. "She'll wanna invite you and your dads over for dinner, guaranteed."

The panic didn't disappear. She nodded. "Maybe we should wait for just a little while then. I'm not quite ready for another embarrassing dinner party," she groaned dramatically.

"Embarrassing?"

"Not by you of course," she corrected quickly. "By my dads! They've been horrendous lately! Completely mortifying! I'm not ready for the trauma yet."

"Oh, I get it," he mumbled and looked away.

Rachel was surprised by the way he almost seemed like a sulking child—as if he really wanted to have dinner with her dads and his mom. Well, that was more than fine by her! "Chanukah is a little early this year—during final exams, but maybe we could plan something for Christmas Break—around my birthday…" she finished shyly.

Puck perked up. He realized she really wasn't ashamed of dating him—not if she was talking about having the awkward family dinner for her birthday. "That's cool," he said. He wasn't sure why he'd started to get pissed—reflex of too often being the guy girls were ashamed to bring home. And he wasn't sure why he'd agreed to do this family dinner thing in the first place…He'd been the one saying his mom would freak out so they should avoid it, but somehow his brain got all turned around and he completely changed his mind and wanted to set up some stupid dinner with both families. That must have been a crazy combination mind-fuck—he still couldn't figure it out.

It didn't matter too much though because the birthday-holiday-dating-announcement dinner was going to be like a month from now. And after Rachel told him everything her dads had planned for her over Thanksgiving Break, he figured out that he wouldn't really be seeing her until school started on Monday—which sucked.

And it just dawned on him that he actually had a girlfriend—with a birthday coming up—he was probably going to have to figure out something to buy her.

Damn.

Why hadn't he waited until after her birthday at least?

"What's that look?"Rachel asked him curiously, as she had watched his face crease into a grimace.

He grinned sheepishly. "Just thinking…so what should I be saving up for to buy you for your birthday?" he asked.

"The best present is you," she said sweetly and kissed him quickly.

"That's a present I can deliver," he smirked as he reached for her.

Rachel thought that they might not be referring to the same type of gift, but as he caressed her, her worries dissolved. She would take whatever pieces he would give of himself—even if he wasn't ready to give her his whole heart.

…

…

Over the traditional turkey and pumpkin pie, there were two boys who couldn't help thinking of Rachel Berry. One was her boyfriend. The other was an ex-boyfriend.

Jesse was at home (well, his parents' house) in Carmel, regaling his family with stories of New York and the theater district. They persuaded him (easily) into providing some after-dinner entertainment, and once again he was drawn to play _Hello_. He wished Rachel had been there to sing it with him.

She really had such a complementary voice to his.

He was certain that she wasn't thinking of him, but he was only going to be in Ohio for a few more days before he had to fly back for the rest of the fall semester. He decided he should email her before he left. He could at least make sure she was able to reschedule her audition at NYU and offer to help or give her a place to spend the night if she needed it while she was there—in a completely friendly way of course.

Even if he was starting to have romantic feelings for her again, he would keep them to himself. Besides, it was clear that she never loved him the way he loved her, he thought bitterly. She always had something going on between one of those two idiots—either The Mohawk or The Beanstalk always had some kind of hold over Rachel. It was hard to understand because both of those choices were terrible for her—the most imperfect matches he could dream of for her—and not just compared to him. But compared to him they really were laughable as viable options. Still, he knew he was the one who ruined his chances with Rachel, so it was understandable that she only had limited options in Lima to rebound to for her recovery process. Jesse St. James and Rachel Berry: the two of them together would be an unstoppable force and everything about them seemed to be made for the other—aside from a few minor problems like Rachel's deeply buried insecurities and his over-compensating and ultimate bowing to peer-pressure. But Jesse knew that those issues were things that they could have helped each other overcome. They were so much alike so they could be themselves around each other, but they were so different in their approaches to life that he knew he would never grow bored if they had ever made it into long-term relationship status.

That's what he was now: bored. All the girls he'd been dating lately were like carbon copies of each other—and they were mere shadows of the talent and grace of Rachel Berry. That night, he composed an email to the girl who never ceased to surprise him.

…

On Thanksgiving Day Shelby thought of her daughter as well. Was it strange that Beth felt more like her daughter than Rachel despite genetics? Holidays were usually the worst when it came to thinking about missed opportunities. But for the longest time she had been fine and completely comfortable with her decision. She still knew that her choice to be a surrogate mother was the right one. She gave Aaron and Marshall Berry the daughter they'd always wanted. She was able to try her luck on Broadway—and she hadn't been ready for a baby of her own back then anyway. So she was still confident that she had made the right decision. And she had been (and was still) under a contract limiting her communication with Rachel. She used Jesse to help her get around that contract because she'd been so curious about Rachel, her childhood, and what kind of young woman she had become. But now she realized she had let her curiosity go too far. It was probably better to keep that door closed. The reason she kept Noah Puckerman updated with pictures was because he was interested—and because she now wished she had that from Rachel's childhood. So she had opened the door for him to be in Beth's life because his interest had caught her by surprise and she thought maybe that's what she would have wanted if she had been given the choice. But now she didn't know if it was better or worse to have updates like that—with or without contact. Was it better to have a clean break that's maintained for the sake of stability? Or should she welcome the unusual family dynamics inherent in her situations? She was going to have to make some decisions…and quickly.

…

Rachel thought about Noah during Thanksgiving dinner, and a smile played on her face the entire time. Her fathers barely noticed. They were still hung up about the fact that she had missed her NYU audition and had stayed with the Puckerman boy at Shelby Corcoran's house during the ice storm.

"Rachel, I feel like we haven't heard the whole story from you about your weekend away," Aaron started.

Marshall nodded. "When you came home, you almost immediately breezed out—to Kurt's, you said?"

"Yes, Daddy, I'm sorry if I haven't spent enough time talking with the two of you," Rachel apologized. "Is there something specific you want to know?"

"Well, it's difficult to ask for specifics when we don't know all the details," Aaron said.

Rachel tried to reign in her frustrations. "It was rather uncomfortable, considering that we were staying at Shelby's house and then Jesse St. James of all people showed up."

"I thought you told us that Jesse offered to help you once you get to New York," Marshall started. "Aren't you glad he arrived and made the offer?"

"I will probably be grateful for his help," she conceded, "but he hurt me very badly in the past…and being around him is still difficult for me. I'm sure I'll be able to put my emotions aside and consider only what will help me in my future career…" A trace of resentment was laced in her words. "That's what I've been doing all these years, so there's no reason to think that I won't continue to do so."

Aaron and Marshall could tell that Rachel was getting upset, and they knew their daughter had a way of working herself into hysterics, so they decided to steer away from the unpleasant dinner conversation.

"Of course, sweetie," Marshall said. "We're sorry this is hard for you, but you always do what's best."

"And the good news from this mess is that we were able to reschedule your NYU audition for the first opening in the new year!" Aaron exclaimed.

"Yes, thank you, Dad, Daddy," Rachel smiled. "I'm so glad to have you both!" She pushed down her negative emotions and her doubts and focused on the knowledge that her fathers really loved her and were only trying to do what they thought was best for her.

…

That night after dinner and after her extra session on the elliptical, Rachel was surprised to receive an email from Jesse. It was courteous and formal, but surprising nonetheless. She thought she could pick up a true apology among those lines. Jesse was hard to read—that is, his intentions were difficult to discern (his grammar on the other hand was perfect). She decided to take the email for face value as an apology and reminder to take him up on his offer to help her prepare for her future. He also offered her a place to stay during her auditions and his services as a tour guide to her and her dads.

Rachel wasn't sure if she wanted to mention this to her dads yet—because they were sure to say this was a great idea—and she didn't know if she really wanted _that_ much contact with Jesse again so soon.

She thanked him politely for the message, and replied that she and her dads would think about the offer. She added that she was still hurt by his treatment of her in the past, and thus was not entirely ready to trust him, but she did appreciate this new line of communication and possible aid in her career.

She sent the message but was then left wondering: just what did Jesse get out of helping her? Rather than write another email, she decided to save that question for later.

…

Her dads kept her busy with After Thanksgiving sales and the weekend at Grandma Berry's house, so she didn't get to spend time with Noah the way she would have liked.

But starting Monday, she made up for that.

Rachel wasn't exactly flaunting her status as Noah's girlfriend—well, maybe she was. But who could blame her? She did nothing to discourage a modest amount of PDA—she wouldn't allow anything crazy—she couldn't let him get away with being as inappropriate as he might have been if left unchecked. But she relished the hand holding, the pecks on the cheek, and especially the slightly prolonged mini-make-out-sessions.

They just made her feel so happy, so wanted, so loved.

Well, she was still walking on eggshells when it came to love. She was afraid of upsetting the delicate balance they seemed to have. But even if she didn't think she could say it without him having a major freakout, she let herself feel it.

Even at the height of her relationship with Finn, she always felt like he was a bit ashamed to be seen with her in a romantic way. Maybe that was a hold-over from their false starts sophomore year. Maybe their lack of physical contact beyond handing holding and the rare kiss in the hallways at school was merely related to the sheer awkwardness of his unusually tall stature and her petite frame. But whatever the reason, she never felt free to show her affection with Finn the way she felt with Noah.

And at least a few people noticed this difference. If Noah noticed (or had paid any attention to how she had been with Finn back then), he didn't mention it. But Kurt didn't keep his observations to himself, and Finn seemed offended. Quinn too seemed to take special note.

Puck slid into the seat next to Rachel and whispered in her ear. "I think glee would be better of you sit right here." He gestured to his lap.

"Anything for the sake of your enjoyment of glee," she said magnanimously, and she took a seat across his thighs as daintily as she could manage. "Does this enhance your glee experience?" she asked from her perch.

"Hell yeah," he whispered before guiding her lips to his.

It was in the middle of this make-out, when Kurt cleared his throat. "Well, isn't this just a most unwelcome sight to encounter when entering our musical safe haven?"

Puck flipped him off and didn't let Rachel go, even though she tried to break away. If she really wanted to stop, she would have struggled more than she did—and she wouldn't have added tongue.

"As disgusting as this is," Kurt continued, "at least it is nice to see that you have found someone who seems to be as into you as you are into him…unlike your previous boyfriend…"

"Hey!" Finn protested, though he didn't have much to say beyond that. Which was good because he got an elbow in the ribs from Santana just for saying that.

Quinn wrinkled her nose. "This is completely inappropriate," she huffed.

Mr. Schue walked in the room and Quinn breathed a sigh of relief. She knew that she wouldn't have to suffer through this much longer. Though it bothered her that it bothered her so much…

"Puck! Rachel! Separate seats, now!" he exclaimed after a double-take. Rachel jumped into the open seat. "You know such displays could land you in the principal's office," Will reminded.

Puck looked up incredulously. "What? No way." He pulled Rachel's chair next to his and draped his arm around the back with a bit of defiance.

"Yes way," Mr. Schue said moodily. "It's in the rule book. I don't know exactly where, but it was there when I was a student."

"It's not 1975 anymore, Mr. Schue," Mercedes said with a chuckle and an eye roll.

"What? I didn't go here in 1975!" he exclaimed. "How old do you think I am? I wasn't even born until… Oh never mind," he finished with a sigh. "I have a really important announcement, guys, so listen up."

Will explained the dire situation based on what he knew: _somehow_ set lists and choreography had been leaked (_again_), so the organizers for Sectionals had just issued new rules.

"What the what?" Artie exclaimed.

"Sectionals are only a month away!" Tina protested.

"No! That's not fair!" The complaints of the students hit him in a rush of sound.

"We finally practiced in advance for once!" came another valid outcry.

Will raised his hands and tried to placate them. "I know; I'm as upset as you are about this. But I haven't told you the new rules yet. It's not so bad… Every choir has to follow the theme _Crazy Little Thing Called Love_, and every choir has to sing that song as one of their selections. That way everyone will be judged on their performance of the same song, along with the other selections they choose to feature fitting that theme. Exciting, right?"

Rachel was the only one bobbing her head enthusiastically, trying (and failing) to help Mr. Schuester encourage the others.

Puck rolled his eyes at her, but she was damn cute, so he tried to tone down the sour look on his face and help her sorry-but-hot-ass out by speaking up. "It's not like we really liked the songs we were doing before."

Others nodded reluctantly.

"And it's Elvis," Sam added. "We can rock this."

Will clapped his hands together. "Exactly! That's what I llike to hear, Sam! So we'll start working on _Crazy Little Thing_, and then we'll all be thinking of songs to fit that theme. That's your assignment—pairs, individuals, or groups come up with a song or two for our new Sectionals routine. So let's get our Elvis on!"

Most everyone rolled their eyes, but they had a bit of fun with the song nevertheless.

…

The rest of the day and the next were surprisingly uncomfortable for Quinn. She never meant to hurt anyone ever—well, maybe there were occasions when she meant to hurt Rachel Berry's feelings, and sometimes Santana Lopez's feelings—only when they deserved it (sort of). But when it came to romance and boyfriends, she never intended to be hurtful—she just somehow managed it every time: with Finn, with Puck (she didn't realize he was capable of real feelings until recently), and with Sam. She recognized this pattern and it was a cycle she was trying to break this year, but inadvertently she slipped up again with Sam. She just couldn't help the twinge she felt seeing Puck with Rachel of all people. If he'd been making out with someone else, like Lauren Zizes for instance (or really anyone), she probably wouldn't have given it a second thought .(Actually if it had been Lauren she would have quickly looked away and tried to scrub the memory from her brain. She liked Lauren—but that whole thing was just _wrong_.)

But something about the way that every guy in her life went for Rachel Berry just drove her insane. Rachel Berry…really? What's so great about her? Quinn had always been a competitive girl. And for some reason, her top competitors tended to be Santana Lopez and Rachel Berry. Santana made sense as her competition—they were both of similar attractiveness and social status. But Quinn couldn't wrap her head around the appeal of Rachel Berry. What had happened to the years when EVERYONE hated that girl? Puck and Finn used to make fun of her know-it-all attitude, prudish clothes, and tranny looks. (Ok, maybe she and Santana started the name-calling along the tranny lines, but still.) How had Rachel Berry become so high on the lists of McKinley's top guys? The fact that Finn had been drawn to her first so that for awhile Rachel had actually _beaten_ Quinn made Puck's new girlfriend and current displays that much harder to stomach. Maybe if Quinn had never made that mistake of sleeping with Puck, then Finn would have never broken up with her—but even then, his head had still turned to Rachel Berry.

It was infuriating.

And now Puck was acting like a one-woman man? When all he had done with her is lie and cheat? Even though he claimed he loved her? Had Puck _changed_ like he had claimed (in his song for her) or was this all because Rachel Berry had some sort of impossible, incomprehensible charm over boys? It wasn't the slut thing Santana had going—Quinn could understand the charm in that. But Rachel Berry was the opposite of a slut, and Puck himself had told her that Berry was a virgin—so what was it that was so appealing? Even Sam didn't seem immune to Rachel, though she was pretty convinced that they were only friends. He didn't seem jealous of the make-outs or anything like that, so she supposed that was a good sign. She just wished she didn't feel whatever this was that she was feeling—this thing that seemed a little like jealousy.

Quinn dealt with her feelings the way she knew how—stomping them down and turning them into something useful. She was going to get the heat back into her relationship with Sam or she was going to succeed in enticing Puck away from Rachel Berry through the same actions—making out with her boyfriend in public too—_public_ meaning in front of Puck in particular. Not that she really wanted to lure him away so she could have him for herself. She just didn't really want to see Rachel Berry's mouth slobbering all over her baby daddy. Her possessive thoughts surprised her, but she was now on a mission.

…

She wasn't the only one with a mission.

That day Sam was surprised to see Santana wave him toward her. He waved at her and kept going toward his locker, but that was clearly not what Santana had in mind. The next thing Sam knew, Santana had shoved him into a janitor's closet.

"We should talk—privately," she said.

"I gathered that," he chuckled. "This is a little much though, don't you think?"

"No, it's not too much," she glared. "Otherwise I wouldn't have pushed you in here. We need to take preemptive measures against what's been going on with Puck and Rachel."

He looked at her like she was crazy. "What? We do? Why?"

"Because I know Quinn—jealous bitches in general—it's kinda my thing. Anyway, think about it. You might wanna get on this before it's too late," she said cryptically.

"I'm not interested," he said immediately. He didn't even bother asking her about the details. Santana was a dangerous force to get involved with, he knew.

She looked at him with disgust. She'd expected a bit more cooperation. "I know you're a dim bulb, but when you figure out that you wanna play nice, you let me know."

He shook his head as she shoved him through the door.

Santana seemed paranoid, but a part of Sam wondered if she had a point. Quinn did seem to have a fierce jealous streak.

But when Quinn grabbed his shirt, pushed him into his locker, and kissed him so hard it made his teeth rattle, he figured he had nothing to worry about.

He had no idea how wrong he was.

…

And unfortunately for Santana, she was right about more than she knew. Finn caught a glimpse of her pushing Sam out of the closet, and he knew what Santana did in closets. And now that he thought about it, she'd been looking at both Puck and Sam a lot lately. He finally worked up the balls to confront her about what's been going on with her lately.

Santana was surprised, and a bit impressed, that he'd been paying attention. "Nice to know you noticed, but this is all about business," she assured him.

Finn grimaced. "What business?"

"The Prom plan, remember?"

He shook his head.

"Don't you listen to me?"

"Yeah…"

She sighed. "Stupid question. Ok, I'm trying to make sure that you and I are Prom King and Queen."

"I don't care about that," Finn shrugged. It was actually kind of a sore spot.

"But _I_ do. That's the whole point. It has to be you and me, not me and Sam or you and Quinn."

"So that's what you were doing with Sam—in the closet? Something about Prom?" he asked with confusion. "It doesn't make any sense. And what's this have to do with Puck and Rachel?"

"You're the one with the problem seeing Puck and Rachel making out all over school, not me," she said with open hostility. The look he made confirmed that he was definitely uncomfortable. "I've already explained this to you, and I can't help it if you're too stupid to remember."

"Why do you have to be so mean?" he asked accusingly.

"Don't be so sensitive. Sometimes being a bitch is all a girl has to hold on to," Santana said with a trace of bitterness just sharp enough for Finn to detect.

"But you have me, right?"

"I don't know, _do_ I?" she looked at him pointedly.

"Well, if you don't know, then maybe we need to take some time to figure it out," Finn said with surprising ease.

It surprised them both.

Santana looked at him with wide eyes. "No! That's not how it's supposed to work. You're supposed to tell me—or show me—that I have you!" She clung to his shirt.

Finn looked at her with—pity? That asshole. She released him just as he started to pry her fingers away.

"Fine, take your time! Figure your shit out!" she spat. Then she sashayed down the hall trying to appear more confident than she felt.

It worked. Finn had no idea that tears were welling in her eyes.

…

Her pre-emptive strike was now a last-ditch effort (instead of occurring before damage really fell). In glee she sat by Finn as usual because he wouldn't stop her. She didn't hang on him for fear of the way he might push her away in public. But she needed to get Sam on board and get things back in balance again. Now she had some evidence and her own desperation on her side to make this work.

…

Santana got Sam's attention the next day, pulling him into 'their closet'. "So, are you ready to talk about the proposition I have for you?"

"I'm still not interested," he said.

Santana regarded him with disdain. "You should be, Guppy Mouth. This is for your own good. Things aren't going so well with you and Q."

"What? No, they're going great! We've actually been making out like crazy lately."

"Oh you poor stupid boy," she shook her head. "Haven't you noticed what's going on around you when you make-out?"

"All I see is Quinn—or the back of my eyelids." He chuckled at his own joke.

Santana scoffed. "Well, open your eyes. Literally open your eyes! I would say do that next time to figure it out for yourself, but I don't have that kind of time, so I'm just going to come right out and tell you. Those special sessions she's giving you are only happening when she sees Puck and Rachel going at it."

"What?" His jaw dropped.

"Yeah," she said with mock sweetness. "Sorry for the bad news."

He shook his head. "I don't believe you. You're always up to something."

She rolled her eyes. "Maybe that's true. Whatev. Fine, next time pay attention when she initiates your little PDA sessions. When you figure it out, call me. We can work together." Her patience was wearing thin, but she didn't want to sound as desperate as she was. She never let anyone know too much—it was too risky for too many reasons.

Sam was starting to think that Santana was too confident to be lying. "Even if you're right…I don't wanna make things worse."

"Listen, Lady-Lips, we'll work together on something innocent—like a duet. But it will be enough hopefully to ignite just the right amount of healthy jealousy and put their attention back where it belongs."

"_Their_ attention? Is this about Finn for you or Quinn for me? Or both?"

"Obviously this also works to my benefit," she said without confirming her angle.

Sam looked relieved. "Good. I was afraid you were trying to seduce me."

"Puh-lease," Santana mocked. "If I were after you, you would already be seduced," she said haughtily. "You'd be down on your knees begging to do my bidding."

Sam looked at her dismissively but he couldn't help the twitch in his pants. What? She was hot. It's not like he could control what happened…down there. His brain didn't really have much say in _that_.

Santana smirked as though she could read his mind.

She basically could.

Sam flushed with embarrassment. He cleared his throat. "I guess we could work together, but I don't really see how this will help at all."

"Look, all girls are jealous bitches at heart. That's why Q flipped out about you when you sang with Rachel. That's why she's drooling over Puck now."

"Drooling?"

"Yes."

"What about you? Are you a jealous…witch? Are you trying to make Finn jealous? I mean, it's ok if you are. I'm just trying to figure this out."

"I'm heartbroken," she snapped, revealing more than she intended.

It might have been true but Sam was skeptical. "Ok…well, I'm going to try to deal with this my way first."

"Like that will work," she scoffed.

"Yeah, it probably won't," he admitted. "So I'll call you?"

"That's right, you will."

…

Sam approached Rachel at her locker. Without preamble he asked testily, "Do you think you two can cool it a little on the PDA?"

Her cheeks flushed in rosy circles. "Why?" she asked. She was momentarily confused but she grew upset. "What business is it of yours?"

"Sorry, I'm not trying to be a jerk," he said as he realized that his tone had put Rachel off. "I'm just upset, but not at you. So you haven't noticed what's been happening on cue with your little sessions then?"

"I tend to close my eyes when kissing," she replied frankly.

His lips twisted into a wry smile. "Yeah, I know what you mean. But what you're not seeing is that Quinn has me doing make-out gymnastics every time she spots you two."

"Make-out gymnastics?" she asked with a puzzled smile.

"Yeah, pushing me into lockers, jumping me outta nowhere… Not that I'm complaining. Well, actually I am. Because it's not like she's doing it for _my_ benefit."

"I don't understand. Whose benefit?"

"_Exactly_," Sam said with a meaningful look.

"No really, whose benefit?"

Sam shook his head. "I have a guess. But I gotta go. Just think about toning it down in school, ok? For my sake?" He didn't wait for her to answer.

Rachel bit her lip nervously. Quinn is jealous of her and is trying to get Noah's attention? But how could Quinn do that to Sam? Well, Rachel quickly realized that didn't matter too much. Quinn was notorious in that regard. Not that Rachel could claim to be much better—but she basically was better than Quinn in that department she thought.

She watched as her boyfriend approached her with his signature smirk.

"Sup, B?" he asked without expecting an answer.

Rachel almost asked him about the Quinn issue right then, but she decided it would be wise to engage in an intelligence-gathering mission first.

"Kiss me," she demanded.

"Gladly," he agreed, immediately leaning down to fulfill her request.

Rachel opened her eyes to try to see if his eyes were open.

They were closed.

She tried to see if Quinn was around—and unfortunately she wasn't. So this mission was a failure. She'd just have to try again. Rachel Berry could be sneaky when the situation called for it, oh yes.

…

Unfortunately, Rachel's mission to determine her boyfriend's knowledge of Quinn's actions and judge his intentions were in direct conflict with Sam's request to cut down on the hallway make-out sessions. And after countless sessions Rachel was getting nowhere. She never caught Noah doing anything but looking at her, and he would kiss her so…passionately that she would forget she was kissing with another purpose. Finally, she decided to take the semi-direct route.

"Noah, have you noticed that Quinn seems to be competing with us for the most hallway make-out sessions?" She hoped this phrasing would disarm him and his answer would reveal the truth.

"Huh, not really. It's not a real contest right?"

"No," she smiled.

"Just checking—if it were I'd step up our action," he winked. "So if it's not a contest, why should I care?"

She smiled shyly with relief. "You shouldn't."

"Good. Neither should you. Why would I care about the girl who broke my heart and the limp dick she's dating now?" He leaned in to kiss her. Rachel stopped him.

"Broke your heart?"

Puck didn't recognize the danger he was in. "Well, yeah. I told her I loved her and she basically dropped me after that. Won't make that mistake again," he muttered. Then he recovered from the storm that had gathered in his face. He flashed a charming grin. "You won't break my heart, right?"

"It sounds unlikely," she said tightly as she looked down at her shoes.

"What? What's this? What'd I say?" He tilted her chin up to look at him.

Rachel paused as she let a conversation play out in her head.

"_You're implying that I won't break your heart because you don't…care about me the way you did Quinn."_

"_Rach, c'mon, don't be like that."_

_Imaginary Rachel shook her head and didn't answer._

"_She's the mother of my child. We both know what we have. Why can't we enjoy it for what it is?"_

"_I don't know what we have. I don't know what you're thinking. I thought I did, but clearly I don't."_

"Rach? What's wrong?" he asked.

Rachel decided she wasn't ready for the conversation she just imagined—and she was fairly certain that something like her imagined scenario would result if she wasn't careful. She'd rather stay in the dark at this point. "It's nothing," she tried to smile. "Nothing to worry about now." Her smile grew stronger. "The answer is no, I won't break your heart."

Puck stared into her brown eyes, trying to figure out what just happened. He did the only thing he could think of—he kissed her and hoped that would fix whatever was wrong.

"We ok?" he asked as they walked to the parking lot.

She smiled up at him. "We are. More than ok, I think."

"Yeah," he grinned. He ignored the concern he felt and decided he could only take her at her word.

"I'm looking forward to our date this weekend," she said sincerely. "And maybe to more…progression."

Puck's eyes widened and the remaining unease was gone—replaced by the fantasies of what _progression_ could mean. "Totally," he said hoarsely when he realized he hadn't responded.

Rachel was pleased by his reaction, and she truly was eagerly anticipating their…progress. She told herself: _Don't look, just leap_. She liked to think of herself as a _look before you leap_ girl, but she was recognized that her history proved otherwise. When she wanted something, she often just went for it without considering the consequences. This was something she wanted to change, but in this case she thought perhaps it was better to take the plunge rather than getting hung up on what might go wrong. She reminded herself that this was temporary—this was high school.

What held her back was that she didn't think he loved her the way she loved him, but maybe something is better than nothing at all. Perhaps she should have had the conversation when it presented itself—really find out his feelings for Quinn and his feelings for her. But did she really want to open up this wound? When things were starting to go so well? The answer for now was most assuredly _No_. She was too afraid of the outcome. Maybe some things are best left unsaid. She decided she wasn't ready to open her eyes.

She would close her eyes and enjoy the ride for as long as she could.

…

**A.N.** I wrote most of this before the episode "Sexy" so I hope that watching that ep adds to this chapter for readers instead of detracts from it (due to the AU issues). (Two lines from the Finn/Santana fight, a transition line here and there, and the smut were all written after the 2x15 episode.) Apologies again for the delay—this one was longer than I thought it would be because of some added life drama as some of you know. (Thanks to **kaelaelameee** and **Maiqu20**!) I'll try to make it up to you for next time with smut for the smut-lovers and more plot!


	16. Crazy For You

**Ch. 16 Crazy for You**

**A.N.** Sorry again for the delay, but this is what I expected for this month and into April due to my RL demands. Hopefully this chapter has something for everyone, especially those who've reviewed lately so I know what you're wanting ;) And of course that includes a bit of smut at the end…

For songs used in this chapter, see full link in my Author Profile or add the following to the youtube address:

/user/novice242#grid/user/AE0E6095A697C457

Thanks to **cal** for suggesting _You Can't Hurry Love_! And thanks to **ilovedrama** for suggesting _Crazy for You_ by Adele—I couldn't work it in here, but I used it as the chapter title for reasons that will become clear, so I included it in the playlist :) Finally, a shout out to **acaudill0068** for so often being the first to review, like instant gratification! And thanks to you all!

**Disclaimer: ** I do not own glee or any songs.

…

Puck wasn't sure what to think. Rachel had been acting kinda weird, but she said they were 'more than ok'. It was just strange that right before she said that she was really quiet when he drove her home after school, and she told him he didn't need to pick her up for school the next morning. She said it was because she had an appointment or some shit, and she smiled and kissed him goodbye, but still... He hated the feeling that something was wrong, but part of him was afraid to ask her again and risk that she'd actually tell him something he couldn't fix. He was a pro at fucking things up but had never turned pro at fixing them, so he basically took the approach that sometimes it was better not to know when things break. He tried to let it go (the way he would with anything else), but it was bugging him. The next day at school he remembered what had sparked the whole thing. Rachel had asked him if he had noticed that Quinn and Sam were making out like they were in a contest with them or something. And yeah, that memory had been triggered by the sight of Quinn grabbing Sam and mashing her face into his.

So he leaned back against the lockers and watched. Sure enough, Quinn opened one eye and looked right at him. He raised his eyebrow—not sure what the fuck was going on.

Quinn gasped in surprise. She hadn't expected him to stop and stare—she was completely caught off-guard. And suddenly painfully embarrassed.

Sam glanced over at their audience. "Finally! Looks like you got what you wanted, Q," he sighed. "He noticed. I'm outta here."

Quinn furrowed her brow in confusion. "What? Why? Where are you going?" She did her best to ignore Puck, who for some reason was still staring at them. She wanted to yell at him and ask him what he thought he was doing, but she had more important things to attend to—she strode toward Sam who was already retreating down the hallway.

"I caught on to what you've been doing," Sam announced. "With a little help," he admitted. "But I'm pretty sick of feeling used. I was hoping that you would prove me wrong, but you haven't. We can talk about this later. I'm meeting Santana."

"Santana?"

She looked so vulnerable with those wide green eyes, but Sam just shrugged. "Yeah, we're working on a song for Sectionals."

"You're working with _her_? On a song? Why didn't you ask me to do a song?" She grabbed his arm, trying to prevent him from leaving.

"Well, she asked me. You and I can do a song too if you want. Just let me know…what you want." He looked her in the eyes for a moment, and she blinked and looked down before she released his arm with a defeated nod.

Then she turned to see Puck smirking from his place against the lockers. She stomped back toward him, unleashing her anger (which she knew was actually directed at herself, but he was a great target). "What is _wrong_ with you?"

Puck shrugged. "Plenty. You gotta be more specific."

She groaned in frustration. "Why are you standing there staring at us? Look what you've done!"

"Me? From what Sam said, you've been trying to get my attention. I think you're the one who's done this, even though I have no idea what the hell _this_ is. Wanna fill me in?"

"Not really," she muttered. But she was calming down. When he shrugged and pushed himself off of the lockers, she stopped him. "Wait, I'll tell you."

"Now we're getting somewhere." Puck was pretty sure that figuring out what was going on with Quinn would help him figure out what was going on with Rachel—because something about Quinn and Sam making out in front of them had put Rachel into her silent sad-face-mode.

Quinn took a deep breath as she prepared to be honest—well, mostly honest. She had to leave out a few details—in part because they weren't even entirely clear to her. "Ok, so first, I haven't been trying to get your attention."

"Really?" he scoffed. "That's not what it looks like."

"Fine…" she admitted. "I was sorta keeping an eye on you…and Rachel."

"But why?"

She bit her lip in a gesture that reminded him of Rachel but was also signature Quinn. He was suddenly struck by how long her eyelashes were as they blinked up at him and her eyes filled with tears.

"I don't really know!" she burst out. "I guess…I was annoyed that you two were making out all over the school. I guess…I was jealous."

Now Puck knew that he was even more confused than when he started the conversation. "Jealous of what? Of Rachel? Of how awesome I am at kissing? I'm not following."

"I don't know!" she cried.

And the tears came.

Puck was at a loss—and continued to have no idea what to do when Quinn buried her head in his shirt. He stood in shock before finally gingerly putting his arm up to pat her back. She just kept sobbing, so he put his arms around her and leaned back to get sorta comfortable against the lockers.

It looked like he was gonna be there a while.

Holding her in his arms, something stirred in his heart. A memory from when they'd been together? No. Sadness for what could have been but never was? Maybe. But it was a dim and fleeting. Even though it came and went quickly, he knew he didn't like it. He first thought it was just the way he felt whenever he saw a girl cry—helpless and strangely concerned no matter what the situation was, and that feeling usually made him want to get the hell outta there. It was different with Rachel—man, if he saw her cry, it's like his heart was getting twisted around in his chest. Maybe that's because even when she (probably) wasn't crying about him, it always reminded him of what he had done to her in the past to make her cry. It sucked like hell to see Rachel cry, but it was totally different from this shit happening in front of him now. With Rachel, he typically cared to find out why she was crying and wanted to stop it for more than just to end his own discomfort at the sight. (And the feeling he'd get in his gut was why that shit had gone into their Rules—No Crying. He just couldn't deal with it.) But he knew he wasn't concerned about what Quinn was crying about—who cares if she and Sam are having problems? He was actually kinda annoyed. But surprisingly he wasn't annoyed that she was crying over Sam. He honestly didn't care if Quinn and Sam kept dating forever. And that was _way _different from where his head was at when he was trying to break them up earlier this year.

So that was new.

The realization burst into his brain, but he didn't take time to analyze it. He wasn't that kinda guy. For a dumb jock, his mind moved quickly from one thought to the next—he probably had ADD or some shit. Anyway, he was annoyed.

But what he was annoyed about was that he felt trapped here with no sign that he was ever going to find out what he wanted to know—about what this had to do with him and Rachel. He did have some softness or something in his heart toward Quinn, so he wasn't going to abandon her or whatever while she was crying a river on his chest. So in his current situation he felt this mix of obligation, curiosity, annoyance, and something he couldn't name. Is this what it feels like to do something nice for someone you loved who never loved you?

Whatever. He didn't wanna think about shit like that.

He was just resigned to his place as the shoulder to cry on.

…

Rachel was heading to fifth period when she saw them—they didn't see her. Quinn was in his arms, and he was closing his eyes and stroking her hair gently.

Her heart caught in her throat. She back-tracked immediately—going back up the stairs; she knew she'd have to take the stairs at the other end of the hall, and because of that she might be late to class, but she was NOT walking past them. She already had tears in her eyes, and she wiped at them angrily as she stormed down the hall. She told herself that she was over-reacting. This could be nothing. There could be an explanation. A perfectly acceptable explanation.

But the doubt in her heart grew.

…

Quinn got a hold of herself (finally) as the warning bell rang. "I'm sorry," she offered as she realized the mess she made of his shirt.

"Don't sweat it," he shrugged. "I still have no idea why you're crying, or why Rachel's been so quiet—which is weird for her…"

Quinn nodded with a little smile. "Quiet is definitely weird for Rachel."

"It has something to do with you. I just can't figure it out."

"I think I know."

"Help a guy out then? You owe me for destroying my shirt." He held out the mess dramatically.

She smiled wider. "I thought you said not to worry about it."

"I changed my mind. …So, a little help?"

"I think Rachel probably thinks…that I'm jealous of her…for being with you." She looked up at him and watched his eyes widen and his lips form a child-like 'O'.

"No shit?" he breathed.

This time she shrugged casually. "I can't be sure. The girl _is_ crazy."

"So she has no reason to think that, right?"

"Not really. I think the whole kissing thing…confused her. I'm just…very competitive."

"So there _was_ a make-out contest?" he asked, grasping the wrong thing.

"What?" she laughed lightly. "No. I'm sorry I made you late. I have lunch right now, but you should go to class."

"Nah, it's no big deal. I can hang with you until you're ready if you want."

Her eyes brightened. "Well, there is one thing…" She decided to take the opportunity in front of her. "Can I ask you something?"

"You can ask," he shrugged.

She nodded and rolled her eyes. "I know, you might not answer."

He nodded back.

"I'm just wondering…what is it about Rachel Berry?"

_What the hell_? That was about the last thing he expected her to ask. "What d'ya mean?"

"It's just…I don't understand why you and so many other guys look past her…irritating ways…and actually date her."

"You mean besides the fact that she's hot?" he asked glibly.

She gave him a dirty look. She didn't think Rachel was _hot_, but she wasn't going to argue the point. She wasn't a boy, after all. "Besides that."

"And by _guys_, you mean me and Finn?"

She bit her lip again and nodded. "And it seems that Sam is not immune to whatever it is about her, so I just wanna know."

Puck darkened as he decided that he would make sure Sam and Finn didn't come near his girl. But he decided to try to answer Quinn's question for real. "Well, I'm not really sure how to answer, and who knows what, if anything, Finn thinks about this. But you know, when you like someone, you just like them—and things that seemed annoying before are like, cute or whatever." Then he got on a roll as he thought about it. "With Rachel, it's like she makes you feel special, even when you know you're not. She makes you feel like you can be somebody, like you deserve good stuff in life, not just bad stuff."

As Quinn listened to him talk about Rachel, she felt worse. She knew she wasn't like that at all. And Puck didn't have the good manners not to say so.

"Yeah, she's not like you were. With you I always felt like a piece of shit. With her, I know I'm still the same asshole, but she makes me feel…better. And she cares too, even though it won't help her in any way, she still wanted to help me reach my potential or whatever. Even though we won't be together after this year, she still wanted to make sure I got into school for music theory. I mean…that's just…she's just…" He got flustered. "Anyway, does that answer your question?"

She nodded, similarly at a loss for words. But she picked up on something. "You said you won't be together after this year? You already know that? Because if you don't know that, you realize she could be helping you to help herself—you know, to make you into what she wants you to be?"

"Nope, I know already. She's made it clear she's going to school in New York, and I'm going to Cleveland. So yeah." He got quieter as he started to think about it.

"So why even bother dating?" she wondered out loud.

"Why not?" he asked. "Wait, don't tell me you're already thinking about marriage and shit like that."

She rolled her eyes but the way her cheeks turned pink gave her away.

"You are, aren't you?" he asked in surprise. He shouldn't have been surprised though—that explained a lot. A lot.

"I just don't understand the point of dating someone if you don't see the potential for a long-term future. And yes, that includes marriage. Potential at least."

"Shit, Quinn, we're too young for that! So why not spend as much time with someone while you can before it's too late?"

"I guess that's a good point," she agreed reluctantly.

"That's right. I make them sometimes."

She gave a half-smile.

"So you and Sam are going to the same school still?"

"Yes, we are. Along with half of the other college-bound seniors here. I'm surprised you're not joining us at OSU. It's close enough that trips home for vacations won't be difficult, but it's far enough away that your mom won't drop by unannounced—and catch you with a girl in your room for example." She finished with a smile and a little joke—mostly to lighten her own mood. It didn't work, especially not after Puck's response.

"Yeah, well, you already know why I'm moving to Cleveland," he mumbled.

She nodded, feeling depressed. First it was the glowing review of how Rachel Berry makes boys feel fantastic about themselves, while she makes them feel like crap; and now there's the reminder of how heartless she is for wanting to separate herself from Beth. She still thought she was right and he was wrong about Beth and Shelby. But she was starting to see Puck differently. He was more thoughtful than she'd ever given him credit for—maybe it wasn't just a short-term baby-induced delirium when he'd told her he loved her. Of course, he clearly had moved on with the magical Rachel Berry. Quinn needed to change the subject immediately or she'd break down again. "I have another question for you—completely different."

"Shoot," he replied casually.

"Sam said he's working with Santana for our assignment to find songs for Sectionals. Do you want to work together?"

Puck looked at her like she was crazy. He thought she very well might be. Maybe _that_ was the last thing he thought she'd ask him. "_You_ wanna work with _me_?"

"Only because Sam's with Santana."

"Well, then you should ask Finn. That means he's free. I'm pretty sure I have a built-in partner with _my girlfriend_," he emphasized. "And I'd have to ask her before this becomes a threesome." He didn't mean it in a dirty way, but as soon as he said it he grinned widely.

Quinn rolled her eyes. "Ok, I'll talk to Finn. We don't need to start any rumors about threesomes, do we?" she asked playfully.

"Wouldn't bother me," he grinned. "But that's cool. I'm sure you and Finn can do something. And I bet you could do a song with Sam if you wanted. He seems like he wants to be Schue's pet, so he'd jump at the chance to do two assignments. I still don't get why he's mad… Why does he think you wanted me to notice you?"

"Don't worry about it, Puck. I'm sure we'll work it out."

He looked at her dismissively. "Like I give a shit about that. I'm just trying to figure out the link between you and Sam with why Rachel's acting weird."

"Oh, right. Of course. Well, good luck with that," she started to head to the cafeteria to get something to eat before her lunch period was over. Then she decided to be helpful. "If I may suggest, why don't you just ask Rachel what's wrong?"

"Like I haven't tried that," he muttered. "Thanks, maybe I'll try one more time."

"Couldn't hurt," she shrugged. "Thanks for your shirt, and I'm sorry again."

"Yeah, yeah." Puck looked around the empty hallway. It probably wasn't worth going to class this late, so he followed Quinn to the cafeteria. Maybe he could find Sam and get something more outta him.

…

Sam and Santana spent lunch practicing their duet. They were having a surprisingly nice time. It helped that she complimented him on his singing and seemed to be acting just generally nice—which was kinda unusual, Sam thought, but he wasn't going to call her on it.

When they took a water break, out of nowhere, Santana looked at him and said, "You two look a lot alike."

"Me and who? Quinn?"

She nodded as she took a pull from her water bottle. "Yeah. You'd probably have perfect-blonde-cherub-babies."

He grinned sheepishly—not wanting to admit that he'd actually thought the same thing.

Santana smirked back. Then she stared at him. "You kinda look like Brittany too…"

Sam shrugged. "Are you gonna say that about every blonde girl in school?"

"Forget it," Santana said. Though Sam noticed she didn't snap as bitingly as she normally did. "Let's practice again. I want this to be great, so we actually have a chance at winning," she finished.

"Do you mean winning the assignment or winning back Quinn and Finn?"

She raised her eyebrow to tell him he already knew the answer to that question.

A Mohawked figure darkened the entry to the auditorium. "Evans!" he called.

"Yo!" Sam called back.

"Got a minute?" Puck asked.

Sam looked at Santana for permission. She nodded and dismissed him with a wave. She kept her seat on stage as she drank her water, and Sam hopped down and headed up the aisle to meet Puck halfway.

"S'up, man?" Sam asked.

"I just got done talking to Quinn. She was crying and shit after you left."

"Seriously? Thanks for telling me," Sam said with surprise. He'd been thinking of Puck as his enemy and rival for Quinn's affections, so he wasn't sure what to make of this. He started to head out of the auditorium to find Quinn, but Puck grabbed his arm.

"Hold up, that's not what I came for."

"Oh."

"I wanna find out what's going on—and what it has to do with Rachel."

Sam nodded. "I guess I'll start at the beginning. See, Santana told me…"

"Santana?" Puck asked. "Then maybe we should head down and see what she has to say too."

"Sure," Sam shrugged. They walked back toward Santana while Sam told his side of the story.

Santana raised her eyebrow at their request, but decided it didn't hurt her in any way if she spilled what she had figured out about Quinn. She just didn't need to include that her ultimate goal was to keep throwing Quinn for a loop so that she and Finn could win the crowns at Prom.

By the time Santana finished, Puck wasn't sure what to think. Santana always had an angle. He had just talked to Quinn, and it didn't seem like she had tried to make him break up with Rachel like Santana said—though Quinn did ask some weird questions. It seemed like even knowing all of this; he was still going to have to try to get Rachel to flat out tell him what was wrong.

…

Rachel managed to avoid Noah for the rest of the day—which was only a few hours. She got to glee rehearsal early, and not surprisingly her boyfriend was late. But he smiled at her and slid into the chair next to hers just as Mr. Schuester turned around from the white board.

He had written: _Sectionals—Crazy Little Thing Called Love_.

"Who's ready with song suggestions?" Will asked the group. Both Rachel and Mercedes thrust their hands in the air.

Puck raised his eyebrow. "What's the deal?"

"I was inspired," she whispered hastily. Then she jumped up, nearly knocking Mercedes over in her quest to sing first.

"After you," Mercedes grumbled.

"Brad, do you know Patsy Cline's version of Willie Nelson's _Crazy_?"

He rolled his eyes and nodded. A few laughed at the appropriateness of Rachel singing a song called _Crazy_. But the giggles were silenced when she began to sing.

_Crazy, I'm crazy for feeling so lonely  
I'm crazy, crazy for feeling so blue  
I knew you'd love me as long as you wanted  
And then someday you'd leave me for somebody new  
_

Rachel swayed to the music and tried to smile through the tears that were stinging in her eyes.

_Worry, why do I let myself worry?  
Wond'ring what in the world did I do?  
Crazy, for thinking that my love could hold you  
I'm crazy for trying and crazy for crying  
And I'm crazy for loving you_

Puck was pretty stunned. She was so into the song—like she always was with solos—and she always looked her most beautiful when she sang. (Well, except when she was naked and they were getting their swerve on, but that was more of a _hot as hell_ look and this was more like a sad angel.) Was this song for him? But _crazy_ for _loving _you…was that for Finn—again? No, that couldn't be right unless these are really old feelings she's singing about, right?

_Crazy, for thinking that my love could hold you  
I'm crazy for trying and crazy for crying  
And I'm crazy for loving you..._

Puck was hella confused. Rachel was practically in tears in front of him…but then again that wasn't exactly rare for Rachel Berry. And she kinda snapped right out of it.

She turned to Mr. Schuester. "It's a short song, and we could even just sing a few bars as an introduction and an emotional opener in our tradition before the dance-filled numbers," she suggested crisply.

Will gaped at her for a moment. He had expected a classic Rachel storm out based on the tears in her eyes, even though he had no clue why she'd be storming out. But the consummate-professional-Rachel wasn't that surprising to Will. "Yes, thank you, Rachel. That's an excellent idea and an excellent job!"

The students took this as their signal to clap. Not that it wasn't good; it's just that not everyone was thrilled about the idea of yet another tear-filled opening ballad by Rachel Berry for competitions.

Mercedes stepped up. "I have an idea in a different direction—with a bit more flair. And since we don't have long to prepare, and most of us already know _Crazy in Love _from our mashup two years ago…"

Santana interrupted her. "Please, you know the Jane Adam's girls are going to do that one—and probably Rihanna's _Crazy Little Thing_ too." she said. She grabbed Sam's hand. "And that's why Sam and I went a more original route and picked a song without Crazy or Love in the title!"

"Oh, hold up!" Mercedes exclaimed. "I've got somethin' else. With Rachel's song, Elvis, and my other suggestion, we could do a 60s medley." She grabbed the music to _You Can't Hurry Love_, passed it to Brad, and began before Santana and Sam could stop her.

Sam whispered to Santana, "Why are we going now? We've only practiced once. Can't we go tomorrow?"

"It's fine," she assured him. "It's not like we care if they pick our song."

"I care," he muttered.

"Look, I'm awesome, and you're awesome. We don't need more practice. It'll be awesome."

Sam grinned and nodded and then paid attention to Mercedes.

_I need love, love  
To ease my mind  
I need to find, find someone to call mine  
But mama said_

Chorus: _You can't hurry love  
No, you just have to wait  
She said love don't come easy  
It's a game of give and take  
You can't hurry love  
No, you just have to wait  
You got to trust, give it time  
No matter how long it takes_

But how many heartaches  
Must I stand before I find a love  
To let me live again?  
Right now the only thing  
That keeps me hangin' on  
When I feel my strength, yeah  
It's almost gone  
I remember mama said:

You can't hurry love  
No, you just have to wait  
She said love don't come easy  
It's a game of give and take

How long must I wait  
How much more can I take  
Before loneliness will cause my heart  
Heart to break?

No I can't bear to live my life alone  
I grow impatient for a love to call my own  
But when I feel that I, I can't go on  
These precious words keeps me hangin' on  
I remember mama said:

Chorus__

Gotta wait!

Rachel thought about how apt these words were! But maybe she had a love—she just had to wait for him… She found herself singing along softly to the rest of the song.

_You can't hurry love  
No, you just have to wait_… 

Mercedes finished with a smile. "It's about time we did some Diana Ross and the Supremes, right y'all?"

Rachel piped up right away. "That was fabulous! The 60s medley idea is a fun one, right everyone?"

Will nodded at her enthusiasm. "Yes, that is a fun idea, and a fantastic job as usual, Mercedes. I'll think about that idea, but I'm not sure if we should stick to one decade…"

"I'm glad you said that," Santana said. She turned to Mercedes. "Ok, that was good, girl; but what we have is outside the box." She sidestepped Brad and set up her music for _Helium Hearts_ by Jason Reeves and Danelle Leverett. It would mostly feature Sam, but she thought that this performance was just what they both needed.

Sam played along with his guitar as they started.

_Over the lights of sunset and vine  
We're floating away from the fortune and fame  
__**And your lips are mine, they're raspberry wine  
**__Your body's a map I will follow into the sky  
'Cause what you got is all that I want_

_**It's all that I want**__  
And still that's not enough, it's not enough  
_  
Quinn crossed her arms as she tried to hold in her emotions at the way Sam was smiling at Santana and singing about her body so…suggestively…but in a strangely sweet way. Finn could hardly remember why he was mad at Santana—she looked really pretty. He hoped that she wasn't going to leave him for Sam.

Chorus: _'Cause __**we're on fire, walking love's highest burning wire  
Helium hearts, we're falling skyward  
We're never coming down**_

_**No, no, no-oh-oh-oh**_

_**We're so high the city below gets small and quiet  
Every breath just makes us lighter  
We're never coming down**_

_**No, no, no-oh-oh-oh**_

They did minimal dancing. Mostly just pantomiming (like walking on tightropes toward each other), smiling into each other's eyes, and twirling around.

_The further we go we're losing our clothes  
One shoe at a time thrown over the side  
Like our __**fears and doubts we cast them out**__  
Till nothing is left and we're standing together now  
'Cause what we got is all that we want _

_**It's all that we want**_

_And that's always enough, enough for us  
_

Santana could see that Quinn and Finn had matching grimaces on their faces when it came to the part about _losing our clothes_, and this made Santana really feel like her heart was falling upward! This might just work!

Chorus

_Ooo, Hey, I-I can't say, no_

Chorus

_We're never coming down_

_**We're never coming down**_

_**No, no, no-oh-oh-oh**_

Santana and Sam smiled at the applause and both looked at each other before their eyes found Finn and Quinn.

Will applauded too. "Wow, Santana, we haven't heard that soft side to your voice since _Landslide_ I think!"

The smile wavered from Santana's face as she looked at Brittany. She recovered quickly. "Yeah, well, I sing the songs you give me. When you give me solos, they call for wailing, so I wail. But now you have a reminder that I can sing other songs too."

"Thank you for that reminder," Will said sincerely. "And great job as usual, Sam."

He shrugged, his eyes still on Quinn, trying to read her emotions.

Finn was confused. As he had watched Santana singing, he'd alternated between frowning and smiling. She just looked so…nice…sweet. He couldn't help thinking: _Why can't she be sweet to me like she is with Sam_?

When everyone in the room turned toward him, Finn realized he'd spoken out loud.

Sam looked amused. Quinn looked…mad? But her glare was pointed at Santana, who looked…happy? She practically skipped up to him and sat down.

"I can be sweet to you," Santana smiled. She leaned in and whispered in his ear. "I promise I can be sweeter to you. Can we talk after school?"

He nodded.

Sweet.

…

Sam returned to his seat, which had an open chair next to it now that Santana had moved. He looked up at Quinn in the back row, willing her to come down and sit next to him.

But Mr. Schue clapped his hands together and said they were going to rehearse _Crazy Little Thing Called Love_ and envision what types of songs would go well with that one. So Sam would have to wait until after glee to find out what was going on with Quinn. Maybe he'd have to make the first move since he was the one who got mad.

…

Puck knew better than to bug Rachel during glee—she was dead serious about that shit. But he wasn't waiting around for her to bring it up this time. He had to ask her what was the deal with that song…and figure out her deal with the Quinn thing. Maybe it really was that Rachel thought that Quinn thought…wait, he was getting himself confused. He tried to straighten out his brain: first ask about the song; then ask if she thinks Quinn is jealous. Ok, go.

"So, of course you did awesome by yourself, as always, but how come you didn't wanna sing something with me?" It came out a little whiny, which wasn't what he was going for at all, and his face involuntarily twisted into a sour expression.

Rachel looked up at him, touched that he seemed to want to sing with her so badly. But she reminded herself that she couldn't get too caught up until she found out what was going on with him and Quinn. "I'm sorry. I didn't pause to think about it. I was just inspired in the moment. I would be happy to work with you on another song option that we could do together."

He shrugged to indicate _Whatever_. He didn't really care about the assignment, just what was going on with her. "Well, what was your inspiration?"

"What happened to your shirt?" She looked at the stained sweatshirt pointedly.

"Change the subject much?"

She glared at him, but spoke evenly. "First answer my question, please. It will help to answer your question about my inspiration."

"Fine, ok. Yeah, my shirt got all gross from Quinn. Oh, Quinn!" he said as he started to understand.

Mostly.

"Yes, Quinn."

"Wait, do you think…? Why?"

"I saw you—lovingly stroking her hair…"

"Lovingly? No way. I was just comforting her," he explained. "Why didn't you say something then if you saw us?"

"I was uncomfortable…and I didn't want to interrupt your…moment," she managed to reply.

"What? There was no _moment_. Should I have left her alone to cry?" he asked incredulously.

_Yes!_ "No," she said begrudgingly. "I suppose not. But you seemed so…content."

"I don't know about that. I was just trying to make the best of it. And the whole reason I was even talking to Quinn was to figure out what was going on with you."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean the way you've been acting since yesterday when you asked about Quinn making out like a contest or whatever. So I caught her looking at me when she did it, Sam got pissed, and then Quinn started crying about it."

"So she _was_ looking at you!" Rachel exclaimed, even though the revelation was a cold comfort. "She _was_ trying to make you jealous."

"Huh? No. I mean, I don't think so. I tried to get her to tell me what was going on, but she didn't really make any sense. Then Sam and Santana told me their sides, but I don't really know what to think. Still, she was crying about messing things up with Sam, so I don't think you have to worry about Quinn. And you don't have to worry about me like that either…if you were."

Rachel _was_ relieved, though she wasn't ready to let down her guard against the threat of Quinn. She was sure there would always be a special place for Quinn in Noah's heart. Nothing would change that. But his behavior perhaps could change… So Rachel answered him purposefully. "I am glad to hear that you were not jealous of Quinn kissing Sam. Thank you, Noah. I am very glad to know this about our relationship."

"Ok… yeah," he said awkwardly, not really knowing how to respond to relationship-talk. Plus she was still using a weird voice that made it seem like she wasn't really glad—like things weren't fixed yet. "So does this mean you _were_ upset yesterday because you thought Quinn was trying to make me jealous?"

"Yes, I suppose that's accurate. And do you understand why I would be confused, concerned, and upset after today's events?"

"No," he said flatly. He really didn't.

"Ok, let's use an example to put you in my shoes. So with what you just told me, Sam is probably upset about the way Quinn has been acting. In fact, I know that is true. So do you think I should talk to Sam, and if he is upset over Quinn should I lovingly stroke his hair to comfort him?"

"Wait. What now?" His muscled tensed at the thought of Rachel wrapping Sam in her arms and stroking his hair.

Rachel didn't think she needed to repeat her words—he was clearly reacting in a way that indicated he understood the intention. "Perhaps we should talk about this as we walk to the parking lot."

"Oh yeah, you have some appointment, right? That's why you said I shouldn't take you home today?"

A smile twitched on her lips as she realized that he remembered what she'd said. "Yes, yesterday I thought I would have an appointment. I tried to make one with my therapist—he's usually so responsive—but he was booked. So I actually don't have an appointment."

"Oh. You coulda told me last night and I woulda picked you up for school." Again, with the whine in his voice. Shit, why was he turning into a pussy all of a sudden?

"I was hoping to get a call with a last-minute appointment during the day," she looked up at him and placed her hand on his forearm to stop his walking. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you. It's so sweet that you are so invested and want to drive me to and from school every day that you can so we can spend that extra time together."

He started to grin sheepishly.

She continued. "To be honest, it's because I wanted some space and the appointment with the therapist was going to be about us and our relationship."

His forehead creased with confusion and frustration. "What? Why?"

"I was afraid that my feelings for you weren't reciprocated, and I wanted to get a professional opinion regarding my investment in this relationship."

He looked at her blankly. "This is me you're talking to. English for morons, please."

"Noah, you are not a moron!" she insisted firmly, with a little stomp of her foot. "Please do not refer to yourself that way!"

He couldn't help but smirk. "Ok, but still, what are you saying?"

She nodded. "Maybe now is the time to talk about our feelings."

Oh shit. What had he gotten into?

"Perhaps you and I can drive somewhere together to talk?" she asked.

He nodded dumbly and walked her to his truck. He just started driving without a plan for where to go. And Rachel started talking. He had a feeling she had a plan for what she was saying.

"When two people are in a relationship, there are certain things that go without saying, but some things do need to be said."

After she said that, Puck decided Rachel didn't have a planbecause that sounded like a jumbled bunch of mush.

She confirmed his thought when she said, "This is harder than I thought. I'm not exactly sure what I want to say."

"Yeah, that's what I figured. Why don't you tell me in regular words what you were talking about with the therapy appointment? That's what I was asking about."

"Yes. Ok. Good." She nodded and fiddled with her skirt. (Yes, it's practically winter, but she had very thick tights on today.) "I was afraid that when you noticed Quinn, you would be jealous, and your feelings for her would overshadow any feelings you may have for me. You see, I know my feelings for you, but I don't know your feelings for me. While we can assume we both have some type of feelings for each other that led to us dating, it is often nice to have a discussion or at least say our feelings out loud. For example, Finn told me he loved me directly. In words." She got it all out in a rush, and she waited anxiously for his response. Of course, saying so many things at once backfired on her a bit because he only seemed to latch onto her last phrase.

"What? When? You mean last year?"

"Well, the first time was two years ago, but that's not the important point. The point is..."

"Finn's an idiot."

"No! Why? Because he loved me? Because he told me he loved me? What's wrong with that?"

"Whoa, hold on there, Crazy. Let a guy get a word in."

She gave him a glare and a frustrated huff, but she paused to let him explain.

"I mean he's an idiot for letting you go. If he really loved you…damn, what a tool…"

"Oh. Well then I suppose I agree," she said quietly. "But maybe if he hadn't been such an idiot, then perhaps you and I never would have happened."

Puck laughed. "I doubt that."

"What? Why?"

"Finn never stopped us before."

Rachel blushed, but she conceded that he had a point.

Puck continued. "We're like…what's the word…?"

"Inevitable?" she suggested.

His face brightened. "Yeah! That's it! You and me…this…Inevitable."

Rachel's heart soared with hope. "I think so too," she beamed.

"Yeah?" He glanced at her with his eyebrows raised optimistically.

"Definitely."

They had pulled into the wooded park a few blocks away from the school. The weak winter sun was setting behind the trees and night was falling quickly.

Puck left the engine running but parked. He wasn't sure if there was more talking ahead or what.

There was.

Rachel realized that they had skipped over a most important part. "Speaking of feelings, while we have somewhat indirectly established that you and I have feelings of some sort for each other…"

Puck almost interrupted her to remind her to use English he could understand, but he decided to wait until the end to see if he could figure it out.

"…what we have not established are your feelings for Quinn."

"Huh?" Ok, he understood that last part, but he had no idea why she was bringing Quinn into this.

"Do you have feelings for her?" she asked almost impatiently.

"It's complicated," he said defensively. Then it dawned on him. "But you're the one I think about. I can't even remember the last time I thought about Quinn…that way."

"Really?" she asked hopefully.

"Really. I really…like you, Rachel."

"Me too. You. I mean," she fumbled.

He grinned. "Yeah, I know."

It wasn't the _I love you_ like she'd gotten from Finn, but look how that turned out. Rachel decided she would take _I really like you_ from Noah Puckerman over _I love you_ from Finn Hudson any day.

She felt so close to him. She wanted to be closer.

She eliminated the space between them, took his face in her hands, and kissed him deeply. She loved him, so much, too much.

Puck wasted no time wondering why their talk had turned to kissing. He just gave thanks and went with it. This was more like it anyway. She was kissing him slowly—a change from her typical style of fast and furious (with the occasional bite). He followed her pace, lingering to taste her delicious lips. He laced his fingers through her hair, while he shifted his body to lean against the door and stretch out across the front seat. He swung his right leg into the seat and brought her between his legs—all without unlocking from her kiss.

He did break from her to say, "Hot in here, huh?" and take off his winter coat. He immediately noticed his Quinn-stained shirt, so he pulled that off too. He wadded it up as a pillow between his shoulders and the driver's side door. After getting settled again, he continued kissing her, and Rachel pressed herself against him, feeling her desire pulsing through her. She slid her hands from his gorgeous face to trace the lines of his shoulders, his chest, his unbelievable abs. When she reached his jeans, she took the briefest moment for consideration. Yes, they were in a public park. But the winter night was already dark, and honestly, she didn't really care. She just knew that even when they couldn't express their feelings verbally, they could tell each other so much physically. And that's what she needed now—and she knew that's what he needed from her too. So her decision was easy and she unzipped his fly with her growing expertise.

Puck was stunned by her move. He figured he was in for a killer make-out session here, but this? Whatever she was up to, he was not expecting Rachel to shimmy on top of him and work her hand inside his boxers. His dick was already revealing his state of arousal. She didn't seem to shy away from the sight of it like she had before—now she was seeking it out. And that was hot—she was so hot. He pulled at those damn tights, but he was fucking glad she was wearing a skirt! And if he didn't get that sweater off her, he'd probably go crazy. Amazingly, she pulled her tights all the way off when he started tugging, and she didn't stop him from taking off the sweater either. She was wearing some little tank top thing under the sweater and she stopped him from pulling that off, but she smiled and slipped her bra out from under it in that trick girls always used.

He wanted to fuck her so badly—right here, right now.

She was stroking his cock, and her nipples were peaked and taunting him through the flimsy cotton top. He ran his thumbs over them before swiftly pushing up the shirt so he could get one of those perfect tits into his mouth.

She gasped and started to push her shirt down to stop him, but she seemed to change her mind as she sighed with pleasure and arched her back. And that shit just made him even harder.

"I wanna be inside you," he growled, reaching under her skirt. Her panties were wet, and he teased her through the silky material before pulling them down.

He meant that he was going to finger her, but she was moving…almost as if...fuck! Was she about to ride him right here? The first thought that flashed in his mind next was that he was glad he was always prepared—gotta have the condom.

The second thought was that this could not happen. Not here. Not like this. Even as much as he wanted it—and that was so fucking much.

"Rach?" he choked out. "What are you doing?"

Oh shit, she was on him even without a condom, just at her opening.

"It's ok," she breathed. "I want to. I want you."

He stopped himself from thrusting into her right then. Instead he found steely resolve from somewhere. "I want you too—so bad. But it shouldn't be here. Not for your first time."

She almost protested, but she knew he was right. This wasn't her dream moment. Even if the emotions were right. And that just made her heart surge with even more love for him—and she wasn't sure that was possible until this moment. Tears filled her eyes and she nodded, shifting her hips away from the danger zone. One tear landed on his arm before she had a chance to catch it.

"Hey, hey, don't cry," he pleaded. "Believe me, this is taking everything I have to say no to you right now."

She smiled. "These are grateful tears; not angry or sad tears."

"Oh! Damn, B, you have so many kinds of crying!" he joked.

She nodded in agreement. "Thank you. For this. You're just…so wonderful, so perfect."

"I dunno about that. I'm ready to get you some place nice so we can finish this right! And after I get you de-virginized, we're sure as hell coming back here to get this on again! This is gonna take us to a whole new level."

"Promise?" she chirped.

Her dark eyes reflected the light of the dashboard in the dark. He couldn't see her expression very well, but he had the sense that she meant something…beyond his words.

But maybe he meant something beyond his words too.

He folded his arms around her.

"Promise."

…


	17. Crazy Little Thing Called Love

**Ch. 17 Crazy Little Thing Called Love**

**A.N.** Sorry for the long delay! I'm home from out of state now (for a while). To all my readers, I really do appreciate you and your feedback; I'm not trying to torture you, and I haven't forgotten that I'm in the middle of a story. I've just been extremely busy with high priority issues.

Based on my personal plans, work deadlines, etc. I think that my updating frequency will be more like every two weeks. So early will be a bonus; late will mean that something came up. The first week of May is when I have to go out of state again, and then I'll have a guest staying with us the whole second week of May, so I already know I'll be delayed in updating then.

Thanks **lovesreading** and **XoLovelyWonderXo **for the friendship suggestions. I'll be gradually working those in! Also, for those who've suggested songs (even a long time ago) that I haven't used, I haven't forgotten those either. Some are even already planned for later.

This chapter contains Sectionals, so the songs aren't so important for the plot, but I posted them for fun. For songs, see full link in my Author Profile or add the following to the youtube address:

/user/novice242#grid/user/B956DF786659237B

If you watch _Love Me_, the video is excessive. Start at 0:59, then run until 2:10, skip ahead to 3:10. Or do yourself a huge favor and click the download link on that video for the song without all the cutesy video stops. I didn't link to Justin Bieber because the R5 version (the band including Riker Lynch of the Warblers) is what I wanted for New Directions.

**Disclaimer: ** I do not own glee or any songs.

…

Reluctant to leave the comfort of his arms, but now acutely aware of the late hour, Rachel shifted in the seat of the truck to sit up. Puck nodded, taking the hint. "Yeah, I guess I'd better get you home, huh?"

"That's probably best. My dads must be wondering why I'm so late from school. I'll call them quickly if that's ok."

"Sure," he shrugged as he backed the truck out of the parking space. The public park they had stopped at wasn't far from the school and it was close to Rachel's house. He hoped her dads wouldn't be too pissed. He hoped he wouldn't really have to talk to them or anything like that.

Rachel was giving them some excuse about a late glee practice for Sectionals that they seemed to buy because they had no reason not to trust her. Puck wasn't going to bother with calling his mom. She wouldn't believe anything he said anyway. _Unless_…

When Rachel finished talking to her dads, Puck asked if she'd give a similar excuse to his mom.

"You want _me_ to call your mom?" she asked in disbelief.

"Nah, I'll call her. But when she starts ragging on me, I'll hand the phone to you so you can spin your little story and get me out of trouble."

"Don't you think she'll still be suspicious?"

"She probably will. But she'll listen to you and be way nicer to you than she would be to me," he assured her. He didn't say that his mom would probably jump for joy at her suspicions about the two of them together.

It was implied.

At least, Rachel inferred that bit of information and happily agreed to talk to Deb Puckerman.

And when Puck handed her the phone, he was proud of the way she smoothly handled his mother. Then somehow Rachel mentioned the whole _dinner-with-the-parents_ plan that sorta broke the news that they were dating before he had a chance to tell his mom. And before they'd told her dads…or even asked her dads if the birthday dinner plans were ok with them.

When Puck pointed this out to her, Rachel just shrugged it off. "It's fine. We'll just talk to them together when we get to my house."

Puck gulped and tried not to freak out. She seemed so calm, but she was their little girl. He was the punk who had kept her out late…and worse. And now he was going to butt in on whatever daddy-daughter-daddy plans they had for her birthday. He was not looking forward to this conversation.

But soon enough, they were entering the Berry house together.

…

"Oh, Mr. Puckerman!" Aaron Berry exclaimed when Puck walked in behind his daughter. "We weren't expecting you. We just warmed up a dinner plate for Rachel."

"It's ok, I won't stay," Puck mumbled. "Sorry we're late. See ya later, Rach," he said quickly.

She grabbed him at the bicep. She grinned as she appreciated the muscle she felt there, and then slid her hand down his arm to hold his hand. Puck looked down at her hand incredulously and then back up at Aaron and Marshall Berry. The two men were also staring at their clasped hands.

_Shit_.

Well, he had to admit, she was ballsy. Or gutsy. Or whatever. He wasn't PC. A girl can act ballsy, and his girl definitely was.

"Dad, Daddy, I have probably hinted at my interest in being more than friends with Noah, and I'd like to announce that we are officially boyfriend and girlfriend," she declared without a trace of nervousness. That is until she glanced up at the boy next to her. "Right, Noah?"

He shook himself out of his stupor to try to sound like he wasn't a pussy scared of his girlfriend's dads. Gay dads at that.

"Right," he affirmed. He squeezed her hand and stepped closer so their bodies nearly touched. He didn't want to get too close though. No sense in getting the Berry Dads too riled up.

Marshall raised his eyebrow and Aaron crossed his arms. With a shared silent look, they decided to take this news in stride and not make a big deal about it now. This was surely temporary. Aaron cleared his throat. "Well, thank you for telling us. I'm sure we'll need to discuss some ground rules with Rachel first, and then with you as well."

"Me?" Puck sputtered. Then he stood straighter and tried to clear his head. "Of course; that sounds good, Mr. B. Mr. Berry, I mean."

Marshall not-so-subtly walked to the door and opened it. "So we'll see you later then, Noah."

"Wait!" Rachel burst out. "We have something else to discuss."

Her fathers were startled, fearing the worst.

_Please tell me she's not pregnant_, Marshall thought.

"Because Noah is my boyfriend now and my birthday is coming up, I thought it would be nice to invite the Puckermans over one night for a dinner so we could get to know each other better. It would really mean a lot to me. Would you be open to that idea?"

Puck nodded before realizing that she was obviously talking to her dads, not to him. Why did these two pansy-asses scare the shit out of him and turn him into a bigger idiot than usual?

Aaron and Marshall were also nodding. "Yes," Aaron said. "We would be open to that idea. While we already know Deb of course, it would be nice to talk given these new circumstances."

Rachel wasn't entirely pleased by his wording and his tone, but she was ready to count this as a win. She didn't want to let anything bring her down off her cloud of bliss from this announcement that Noah Puckerman is her boyfriend (and her private knowledge that soon they would take that most intimate step… She couldn't wait to start planning.)

Marshall added to his husband's comment. "Yes, and around your birthday will be a good time considering that we're going to visit Nana Miller soon, then Grandma Berry for Christmas, and shortly after that we have the trip to New York for your audition at NYU."

Rachel nodded, making a mental note that she needed to decide whether to let her dads know that Jesse had invited them to stay with him during her visit so that those arrangements could be finalized. But she really didn't want to think about Jesse St. James right now. She really didn't want to think about how she would be most likely leaving to go to school in New York after graduation while the boy holding her hand would be staying in Ohio.

She didn't want to think about that at all.

So she shoved down the thoughts that made her stomach lurch and focused on the thoughts that made her heart soar. She needed to do one thing to aid this focus. She released Noah's hand long enough to tilt his head toward hers so she could kiss his lips. It was a chaste _we-have-a-paternal-audience_ kiss, but its sweetness (and the surprised look in his golden-green eyes) gave her the lift she needed.

Then she turned to her dads. "Great! It works out well then! Thank you both! I'll just walk Noah to his truck, and then I'll be back to have dinner." With that, she walked out the door, doubling back for her boyfriend who stood stoically in the foyer. She grabbed his wrist and dragged him a little before he realized he should start walking.

"Wow, you really did that?" he finally managed.

She giggled. "Yes, I really did."

"Cool," he breathed, still a little dumbstruck that Rachel Berry just kissed him in front of her dads.

"Next we just have to plan this little dinner…as well as our own…special evening," she finished with a conspiratorial whisper.

He smirked at her, but he was pretty damn thrilled about that last part. "I hope _you_ know what we're doing with this parent thing," he said.

Rachel looked a bit nervous, but answered confidently, "I'm sure it will be lovely." Then she whispered again. "But I don't know what I'm doing it when it comes to…our special eve-"

He cut her off with a kiss. It was funny that she kept calling it the same thing without actually saying words normal people would use. "Well,_ I_ know what we're doing when it comes to that, so you don't have to worry."

Puck was glad when she looked relieved instead of offended or appalled or any number of other bad reactions to his words.

She smiled and stepped away so he could climb into his truck. "I won't worry one bit," she declared. "See you tomorrow!"

"See ya, B," he grinned with a wink as he pulled out of her driveway.

Rachel floated up to her front door and on to the kitchen. She rushed through dinner as quickly as she could and headed to her room. She wanted to express her feelings in her journal while they were fresh in her mind and before her dads could say more to dampen her spirits.

Puck whistled as he drove home. It was about fucking time! This was finally going to happen! He'd been so damn patient, taking these little baby steps after she'd dangled that prize in his face at the beginning of the year and had taken it away. He'd put up with a lot, but it was finally paying off. He was ready to bust a nut right there, but he knew he needed to stay in check. He wanted to make this work with Rachel. So they could keep doing it after getting through the de-viriginizing stage of course.

_Regular sex_…it was like he heard a choir of angels singing and the sun shone down on him at that thought. It had been so long since he'd actually had his dick inside the Promise Land, he might be outta practice. Not that he was going to practice.

Not that he couldn't find someone willing. He sure as hell still had what it would take to charm a girl into bed.

But there was only girl. And he had to make it right for her. This was their last chance…high school was almost over…All the false starts and bad timing…this was finally their time, even if the time left was short.

…

While their thoughts may have been expressed differently, their emotions were rather similar.

When Rachel finished her diary entry about their plans and her overwhelming devotion to Noah, she was pleased with what she wrote. It would certainly make a fine addition to her future biography. Lines like, "My skin hums with anticipation for his next touch" and "The intensity of my love carries divine weight—I feel it every moment" sang to her from the page like lines from a poem. She wasn't writing a poem, but what did she expect? She was an amateur lyricist after all. Poetry and prose were in her veins. And how perfect was it that Noah was such a talented composer on the guitar? Together they could write music and lyrics, and they were both clearly gifted in performance and made ideal singing partners. And hopefully more.

But they would soon be separated by their different directions for college. If only Noah wouldn't be so stubborn about New York versus Ohio (and his daughter). Maybe they would keep in touch and reunite after college with their musical educations, ready to take on the world (from New York)?

Her heart was sinking fast and a knot formed in her stomach.

She didn't want to think about it.

Instead she re-read her entries about falling in love with Noah until she fell asleep.

…

After their late night, Puck and Rachel didn't make plans to work together on the glee assignment for Sectionals—the one Rachel had already completed by singing Patsy Cline's _Crazy_ as a solo. Rachel completely forgot about it until the next day at school. Before fourth period she sent a rushed text asking if they should meet for lunch to come up with something in a hurry.

Puck sent her a message that said thanks but he and the guys had it covered. He would be practicing during lunch though.

She couldn't get him to answer another message after that, so she was anxious to see what he and 'the guys' had come up with for the assignment. She was surprised to find that The Justin Bieber Experience made a comeback—with additional members including Finn and Kurt. Fortunately, Puck didn't wear the ridiculous wig to mimic the Biebs.

Artie announced their choice. "Since some of our girls got together to do a song, which they'll perform next, we came up with this." He cued the music for _Love Me_ and the guys performed a rock version of the song. Artie played bass along with the recorded music. Puck felt more comfortable behind his guitar since he'd joined the group late and hadn't learned all of their boy band dance moves.

What Rachel noticed was how comfortable he was singing the lyrics "Love me, love me, say that you love me," right at her. Did he not realize that she loves him? That she was only holding back on telling him because he chose to say "I really like you" instead? Or was he just singing a song while looking at his girlfriend in the audience, not really trying to send her a message?

She was certain that Noah Puckerman did NOT choose that particular song. So most likely this was not a code for her to decipher.

(She was right.)

Besides, she found the song to be a bit sexist (referring to giving a girl more money because he loves her—ew), so she was glad that it was not a song selected by her boyfriend!

After the guys finished, Mr. Schuester applauded and praised them politely. It wasn't until the girls performed that Will realized what he could do for their set list.

Quinn took most of the solos in the girls' performance of _Lovefool_ by The Cardigans. She seemed to use it as an apology to Sam, though Rachel thought it was an uninspired choice. However, she realized the mashup potential of _Love Me_ and _Lovefool_ during the first chorus. The way Mr. Schue was looking around with wide eyes and wildly scribbling down notes, she assumed he had come to the same conclusion. While both of these songs were low on Rachel's list of top contenders for their set list, she recognized the virtues of being creative and choosing songs that the other groups were unlikely to use.

As she suspected, at the end of the girls' effort, Mr. Schuester made his big announcement about using the two extremely similar choruses in a mashup. Their performance would open with Rachel singing a few verses of _Crazy_, so at least that was going in her favor. Then they'd do the theme song _Crazy Little Thing Called Love_, the _Lovefool/Love Me_ mashup, and a few more versus of _Crazy_ with a few lead changes to showcase the range of talent within the group_._ It definitely sounded crazy to Rachel, but it would be unique and hopefully better than their competition. If they could manage to rehearse some flashy choreography, they should be in good shape.

Mr. Schuester said the same thing. "Ok, so we have our songs! Let's run through our Queen theme song so we can see how it will transition with the others."

"Wait, Queen? So it's not Elvis?" Sam asked.

"No. Sorry, Sam," Will said. "I should have corrected you before. I thought you were joking and just went with it. The song _has_ been recorded by an Elvis impersonator and the style is Elvis-inspired, but no. It's by Queen, which has been a favorite of our group anyway. _Somebody to Love_, anybody?" he reminded the graduating seniors with a wistful smile.

"But that's Justin Beiber," Sam said, confused.

"Not _that_ _Somebody to Love_," Tina giggled.

Even Quinn smiled. "It was before you moved here," she explained. "But it was one of our best early performances."

Sam looked at her sheepishly, but she made him feel better when she reached over and ruffled his hair. He was relieved that Quinn seemed to be getting back to normal. He shrugged and flashed a goofy grin, no longer worried about making a fool of himself or of losing his girlfriend for now. "Oops. Well, let's rock this!"

And that's what they did.

…

December was a packed month. For Rachel, not only was this the month for Sectionals, fall exams, Chanukah this year, and Christmas, but also her birthday and her special plans with her boyfriend. There was the joint-family-dinner as well as the biggest event of them all, at least for her—finally crossing that last barrier. She was excited, nervous, anxious, eager…for their…special evening… She had a lot to prepare.

So did Puck.

First he had to figure out what the hell to buy for his girlfriend's birthday. Buying gifts for girls wasn't really his thing. Yeah, he'd already given her a pearl bracelet and a rose this year, but that was only after Santana told him what to do, and that was before she was his girlfriend. He also had to figure out where they were going to even be able to be alone long enough (and where could be special enough) for Rachel's first time.

It was hard work.

And they didn't really see each other over the weekend to talk about it. Puck was busy shopping for Rachel, taking Sarah along for help with the task under the guise of his brotherly babysitting duties. And while both the Puckerman family and the Berry family had celebrations for Chanukah, Rachel had to go visit her Nana Miller during the first nights because the last nights would fall on the same weekend as their Sectionals.

Unfortunately for Puck, his shopping trip was crashed. He was walking around the mall with Sarah (who was jabbering about something) when he spotted Finn Hudson towering over the crowd. He tried to duck into the next store, but Sarah gave them away. She waved and shouted, "Hey, Finn!"

Well, Puck couldn't leave her standing in the middle of the mall alone like that, so he reluctantly joined her in greeting his so-called friend.

Finn grinned at Sarah and gave an awkward wave. Santana nodded, apparently granting Finn permission to approach the Puckermans. That's when Puck noticed Sam and Quinn were there too. What a weird foursome, he thought. Then he grimaced at the thought. He preferred to imagine Quinn and Santana getting it on without Frankenteen and Egore there.

Shit, he probably shouldn't think that way now that he has a girlfriend, right? Well, Rachel will never know. He hoped she wasn't picking up thought-vibes through the air that she'd call him on later. Damn, being a boyfriend's hard work!

Puck now realized that instead of waving and going their separate ways, the McKinley group was stopped in front of him, and Sarah was tossing her hair over her shoulder and beaming. Was she _flirting_? No way!

"Finnjamin!" she exclaimed. "Long time no see!"

Finn scratched his head. "I know it's been awhile, but you know that's not my name, right?"

"Of course I know your name, Finn," she purred.

Puck elbowed her and gave her a look that said _Cut it out_. She ignored him with another hair toss.

"Hi Sarah," Quinn greeted politely. "What are you two doing here?"

"We're shopping for-"

Puck interrupted her with a white lie, "Chanukah presents."

But Sarah still said it. "-for Rachel!"

Finn looked mopey (instead of just his usual dopey). Sam nodded and appeared to be appraising Puck. Quinn looked annoyed. Santana looked like she couldn't care less.

"Oh man," Finn sighed with a trace of sadness. "It's so cool that you guys get like eight sets of presents instead of just one!"

So maybe that's what Finn looked depressed about—Chanukah presents—not about Rachel. Right? Puck rolled his eyes. "Yeah, we Jews have it all over the others—chocolate coins and dreidels for eight crazy nights!" he finished in his best Adam Sandler impression.

It got a laugh from everyone except for Finn who just looked confused.

Puck shrugged. "It's a Jew thing, dude." At least the poor guy remembered the eight night thing from all those years of being his best friend and sort of paying attention to some of the aspects of Judaism that made life in the Puckerman house a little different than in the Hudson house.

And at least he had managed to divert attention. It's not that he was ashamed that he was buying Rachel a present. He just didn't want any drama coming from Finn or Quinn—or hell, even Sam or Santana. He just wanted to get on with his shopping in peace.

But Sarah was now chatting away.

"I'm trying out a new trend," she was saying. "It's gonna be all over West Lima Middle and it'll get to the high school—you'll see! For people who have short names, I'm giving them long nicknames. So Finn, that's why I called you Finnjamin. Or you could be Finnegan! What do you think?"

Finn just looked at her warily then at Puck. "Is your sister ok, man?"

"Same as always. You just don't remember," he grumbled. Everything was getting on his nerves at the moment. His sister with her sudden interest in flirting, the four people hanging out together in front of him… Was he a little jealous to see Finn and Sam all buddy-buddy even though they play girlfriend-musical-chairs? Probably. Especially considering Puck had turned down hooking up with Rachel last year because of some stupid hope that he'd be able to get his friendship with Finn back the way it had been before... He nudged Sarah. "Alright, that's enough, kid," he said, hoping to emphasize how young she was and maybe embarrass her enough to shut her up. "Let's get going and leave them alone."

"You mean we're not going to join them?" Sarah asked plaintively.

Nobody (besides Sarah) wanted that—it was clear from the looks on their faces.

"Tell you what," Puck compromised. "You can finish your nickname game first, and then we'll all keep going. Deal?"

The others all nodded in agreement and looked at Sarah hopefully. She now realized she had a captive audience and grinned widely.

"Deal." She looked around at the group and singled out Quinn. It was always good to have the popular crowd on your side, she thought strategically. "You can be Quinndolyn! Or Quinnevere! Ooh, those are good!"

Quinn smiled sweetly. "Like King Arthur and Guinevere; I like it."

"You two are hard," Sarah said, pointing at Sam and Santana. Sam blushed. Santana nodded.

"That's right, Princesa," she said, reminding Puck that Santana had a nickname for Sarah already. "So maybe that's the end of the game," Santana finished with mock disappointment.

"I'm still gonna do Sam!" she exclaimed.

Sam blushed again—he wasn't sure why. Apparently his mind was taking everything Puck's sister said and turning it into a dirty reference. Sheesh. He cleared his throat.

"Alright, Sarah, what's your nickname for me?"

"Hmm…" She made a show of tapping her chin thoughtfully with her index finger. "Your nickname is short and your real name is probably already long…like Samuel, right?"

He nodded.

"I've got it! Sambourine! Like tambourine!" she shouted and burst into giggles.

"Finally!" Puck sighed. "Let's go!"

Sarah stuck out her lower lip in a pout. "Fine." Then she looked up at Sam. "Don't you want to keep your nickname? It's so cute. It really suits you."

Santana smirked at the cojones on this girl—flirting with Quinn's boyfriend right in front of her? Nice.

Sam gave a little shrug. "Ok, thanks I guess. But you're the only one allowed to call me that," he told Sarah. Then he looked around at the others. "You got that?" he threatened playfully—but he meant it.

"Got it, Sambourine," Quinn and Santana replied. Quinn raised her eyebrow at Santana who just rolled her eyes.

"Whatev, Quinnie-pants. I'll call whoever I want, whatever I want."

Puck led Sarah away from the bickering girls and their schmuck boyfriends. He was glad to get on to the next store without the added pressure of an audience as he struggled over his choices for what to buy Rachel.

Sarah was glad that her nickname trend seemed to be making good progress in getting to the high school. Next year she was gonna rule that school! And it never hurt to practice skills for snagging boyfriends—even on guys her brother's age! Especially when they're so cute. She was quite proud of herself. She called back to the seniors. "Don't forget to tell everyone that Sarah Puckerman came up with it! Aka Sarafina!"

Puck dragged her farther away and into the Hallmark store to buy a birthday card.

…

The first thing Puck did on Monday morning was pick Rachel up for school, make out for a little while in the parking lot to make up for their weekend separation, and then he tracked down Santana. He wanted to get her opinion on his gift.

"A pearl necklace? You're giving her a _pearl necklace_?" she smirked. "TMI."

It was then that Puck got the joke. "Shit, I'm not trying to be…you know…That's not what I mean!" he fumbled.

"Wow. I'm shocked," she deadpanned. "Who knew you of all people would fail at a gutter reference?" "You're actually blushing!" Santana marveled.

"Shut up," he fumed in his embarrassment. "You're the one who suggested the bracelet, so I thought I'd get your opinion on the necklace. But just forget it." He started to rush off when she grabbed his wrist to stop him.

"Oh you big baby," she snapped—but with a hint of amusement. "I'll look at it and make sure you didn't screw up your first big girlfriend gift. What would you do without me?" she asked while batting her eyelashes.

He rolled his eyes. "I'm sure I'd manage," he said. But then he realized that she was doing him a favor and he shouldn't piss her off. "But thanks, Lopez. You know I'm glad we're still sorta friends or whatever…"

She nodded and dismissed his awkward gratitude. He opened the velvet box and anxiously awaited her response. She grabbed it from him and looked at the necklace more closely, studying it from a few angles. Finally she gave her approval.

"Nice choice, Puck," she said with a tiny smile. Then she looked back at him and gave her usual indifferent shrug. "You know, for someone with Rachel's terrible taste. She's like a cross between a pre-schooler and a senior citizen."

He didn't respond. Puck had heard enough. He knew Santana couldn't let herself compliment him or do something nice for Rachel without a dig. And yeah, maybe Rachel did have…_weird_…taste in her clothes and stuff. But he really thought she would like it. He really hoped she would.

With the necklace safely hidden, he met up with Rachel before glee rehearsal.

"So…you said that the best birthday present was me, right?" he asked.

"I did say that, didn't I?" she smiled.

"Yeah, but this is your last chance…any requests?"

"Actually, yes, I do have one request."

He felt a flash of panic. He hadn't expected her to say yes. He was just trying to be polite or some shit. Damn. Her taste may be weird, but it seemed like it was expensive. And he'd spent a fair amount on that necklace already. What if her one request was a big one?

Rachel stepped toward him as she revealed her wish. "For my birthday, I'd like one _first_ with you: to go someplace you've never gone with another girl; or do one thing you've never done with another girl before." She spoke softly. "I think it would make it just perfect: a first for me, a first for you, a first for us."

He let out a relieved sigh before leaning in to kiss her. "Sounds perfect."

A night of firsts, huh? He hoped like hell he didn't screw this up.

He had like two weeks to figure it out.

…

The next Saturday in December was out for their big date and parental dinner because of their performance at Sectionals. On the bus ride there, Rachel was a ball of energy and enthusiasm, while Puck was just hoping to get this over with soon so he would be that much closer to getting to the good stuff with his girlfriend. He probably hadn't waited this long to have sex since puberty, so yeah, he was counting the minutes.

Unlike the sex-starved Puck, once they arrived at the auditorium, most of the others were actually thinking about the competition instead of their personal lives. Instead of being overly confident at Sectionals, New Directions members were rightfully concerned that Jane Adams' choreography and Dalton's vocalizing would wow the judges. But they hoped that their mix of both would ultimately win the day.

Performing last allowed New Directions to watch all of Jane Adams Academy's and part of the Warblers' performance. Santana had pegged it right all along. The girls of Jane Adams did an odd rendition of Queen's _Crazy Little Thing Called Love_, then Rihanna's song of the same name, and concluded with Beyonce's _Crazy in Love_. While they had amazing choreography interspersed with awkwardness, the performance was disjointed in Rachel's opinion, rather predictable, and poorly executed. The Warblers also opened with the theme song, _Crazy Little Thing Called Love_. That was followed by another Queen song, _You're my Best Friend_, and finally a well-arranged version of _Tainted Love_.

Rachel found the choices peculiar, but she had to admit that _Tainted Love_ was catchy. It seemed that they were trying to tell a story through the songs, but with only the songs, it was a bit confusing. She was glad that she had identified some flaws in the other performances that gave McKinley an advantage. She realized that McKinley's songs could also use a bit of an explanation, and she was just the girl for the job.

"Isn't Blaine just incredible?" Kurt asked her dreamily. Then he snapped to attention, realizing he didn't actually want to hear Rachel in particular agree with him. "Don't answer that!" he whispered harshly.

Rachel rolled her eyes at him. "Don't be ridiculous. Yes, of course Blaine is very handsome and talented. But if you think that I'm fixated on your boyfriend when Noah and I are about to…" She clamped her hand over her mouth when she realized what she had almost said out loud. Now she scolded herself. She should have just given Kurt this little victory. Why did she have to point out her plans—and with such a superior tone?

Kurt didn't pay much attention to her tone—he spoke that way to everyone. He focused on what she said, or didn't say. "You're about to do what?" he whispered, leaning close.

The gleam in his eye told her that he already knew.

New Directions had to prepare for their performance anyway, so Kurt would have to wait.

After Rachel sang her opening lines, she paused to say, "We are New Directions, and this is a _Crazy Little Thing Called Love_ Through the Decades!" She had decided that just a little bit of guidance into what their theme was with songs spanning from the sixties to the present would give them an edge over the groups that just sang a few songs about Crazy Love medley style. She hoped Mr. Schuester wouldn't mind that she took matters into her own hands and that they would win Sectionals because of her decision.

…

And after New Directions performed, Rachel learned that her hopes came true. They won Sectionals. Kurt had been hoping for a tie again with the Warblers so they'd compete at Regionals, but the judges decided that ties were too difficult for the next level—if every Sectional competition had ties, there would be far too many choirs competing at Regionals.

At the subdued and alcohol-free victory party at Mercedes' house, Kurt left early to comfort Blaine and his Dalton friends.

"You still have some secrets to spill, sweetie," he whispered to Rachel before he departed. She nodded as he waggled his fingers in his signature goodbye wave.

Rachel realized that last year if that had happened she would have felt abandoned and would have left the party immediately after Kurt. She and Mercedes had been getting along pretty well, but they did best with Kurt as a buffer. But this year, she had Noah. Still, now she was hoping that they could have some time alone during this parent-sanctioned party.

"Do you think we can find some place more quiet?" she asked him, yelling over the music pumping through the Jones' basement.

Puck grinned. "Hell yeah we can!" He grabbed her hand and led her upstairs. He spotted Mr. and Mrs. Jones in the kitchen, so that was out. If only they could sneak up to a bedroom…

He managed to guide Rachel past the kitchen without being noticed, and he victoriously closed the door to Mercedes' bedroom behind them.

"Alone at last," he grinned wolfishly as he stepped away from the door, consciously backing Rachel toward the bed.

She looked at him wide-eyed as she walked backward in a daze. "You want to do _that_? _Here_?" she squeaked.

"Yeah, I wanna do that! It's like I haven't touched you in forever!" When she nodded reluctantly and perched on the edge of the bed, he realized the confusion. "Shit, I don't mean _that_! We'll still save that to make it special or whatever," he clarified gracelessly. "I just wanna get a little somethin' somethin' to hold me over."

He flashed a charming smile and grazed his fingertips along her arm.

She could feel their tracks through her blouse. Her own words from her diary echoed in her mind as her _skin hummed under his touch_. Suddenly she felt as if her senses were heightened. She could distinctly feel her blood racing faster, pulsing in her core.

As if sensing her desire, Puck leaned in, laying her down on the bed and pressing his already growing erection into the precise place where she wanted to feel his pressure. He kissed her neck and whispered, "Baby, I've been waiting so long for you." His mouth reached hers and Rachel was melting, her discomfort about doing…what they were doing…in Mercedes' bedroom was fading.

Then a thought caught her attention. Mercedes' bedroom! Yet another one of his girlfriends! Had he been here before?

She shoved at him to halt his progress—he was already reaching up her shirt and fondling her breast.

"Wait, we shouldn't be doing this…not here."

Puck furrowed his brow in confusion and frustration. "Well why'd you say we should go to someplace private?"

"I said someplace _quiet_. And the purpose was to talk," she sighed with a hint of exasperation.

Puck rolled off of her with a huff. "I don't get it. You shouldn't be able to keep your hands off me." _Why don't you want me like I want you? _"We should be going at it every chance we get."

"Believe me, it's difficult to restrain myself," she admitted. "It's not that I don't want to…go at it…You have to know I do." She looked into his eyes pleadingly. Her inner voice told her that she was holding back for a reason—several actually. At his slight nod, she continued. "It's not really appropriate to do what we're doing here…In one of your ex-girlfriend's bedrooms no less," she finished quietly.

Puck looked at her dismissively. "Girlfriend? Mercedes? Like that counts. I think you're freaking out over nothing."

"I am not freaking out!" she protested. Maybe _now_ she was—after he falsely accused her. "She was your girlfriend, was she not?"

"I guess. We went out for like a week. It was mostly just me getting her coffee drinks and shit."

"Hmm, kind of like how you got me a grape slushie and we went out for a week sophomore year?" she asked pointedly.

"No. I guess. I dunno." He shrugged helplessly. "It's different with you and me."

Her face softened, but Puck could tell he wasn't going to win. He wasn't getting any action at all tonight, so he made a quick decision to do his best to avoid making things worse. "So…what did you wanna talk about?"

She took a deep breath and decided not to have a pointless argument. She would follow his lead back to her original intention to talk to him about a semi-related topic. "I just wanted to talk about our plans…for my birthday…without the threat of interruption. Just talk…not have a preview."

"Alright, I get it," he said, making himself comfortable on the bed and adjusting himself inside his jeans. "Yeah, we do need to figure this out. I need to know how I'ma get you alone without your dads."

Rachel's eyes brightened as planning mode began. "Well, I do have a few ideas…"

Shortly after Rachel started brainstorming, Mercedes burst through the door.

"Oh damn!" Mercedes exclaimed and clapped her hands over her eyes. Then she realized that the two were fully clothed on top of her bed—instead of naked inside it. She lowered her hands and set them on her hips. "What the hell are you two doing in _my room—on my bed_?"

"I'm so sorry, Mercedes!" Rachel exclaimed.

"Sorry, girl," Puck smirked casually.

Rachel continued explaining that she just wanted a quiet place to talk, and they were most certainly not doing anything untoward in her bedroom, and of course they would vacate the room and leave it as they found it.

Mercedes nodded through Rachel's rapid-fire explanations. "Yeah, it's ok. I'm glad you weren't mucking up my sheets. I'm just grabbing a magazine for Tina to borrow." When the two imposters made no move to leave, Mercedes continued. "The party's winding down, so…you should probably just come downstairs with me and say bye to everyone."

Rachel nodded shamefully, and Puck just shrugged and followed them out.

So in Puck's view that party basically blew. And he didn't even get blown!

…

Saturday's suck-fest was sorta balanced out by a pretty decent Sunday. Rachel came over that afternoon to "study for finals" and make more plans for her birthday, and he ended up getting that blow job he'd been hoping for—and she kept getting better and better at it.

It was just the release he needed.

…

Rachel knew that relationships take work. And she was willing to put in the effort to make sure that her boyfriend got the attention he deserved. She sensed that he needed this physical expression of her desire for him to ease some strange insecurity he seemed to be experiencing last night. She couldn't discount the possibility that he was just horny, but she thought her intuition about his emotions were correct; and she didn't want to leave him with any concerns that she had reservations about being with him sexually. She knew he was right: they should be taking every chance they could get to be together before it was too late.

And she could tell that her choice to initiate oral sex was a good surprise for Noah. She was extremely pleased with her decision. The anxiety about getting caught and the mild ache in her jaw from the activities were worth it.

He was worth it.

Their "study session" was cut short by noises downstairs, forcing Rachel to rush out in an inflated panic. But after the adrenaline rush from her window escape waned, she found herself singing cheerfully in the car as she drove home.

…

As she was getting ready for bed, Rachel realized she had missed several calls and texts from Kurt. Of course he hadn't forgotten that he wanted details about what Rachel was planning to do with Noah. Disregarding her better judgment, Rachel called him back. And instead of guarding herself, she opened up to friendship, to swapping stories, and sharing their boyfriend highs and lows. She was grateful she had found a friend in Kurt after all of the wasted years as enemies.

…

Rachel never swore him to secrecy specifically, so Kurt didn't feel bad at all on Monday when he shared Rachel's plans to go all the way with Puck. To be fair, he only told one person: Mercedes. And she was technically Rachel's good friend too. When Mercedes told Kurt about what he missed by leaving her party early—namely the way she found Puck and Rachel in her bed—he had something to tell her in return. Unfortunately, he had no idea who overheard.

But Mercedes was quite pleased to be in on the secret. Besides, she saw how they could help. According to Kurt, Rachel was planning to send her dads on errands to purchase 'must-have items' for her birthday party with the glee club. And during those errands, she and Puck would have her house to themselves.

When Kurt finished, Mercedes asked, "So should we spread the word so nobody goes to Rachel's early to help her set up for her party?"

Kurt gave her a condescending look. "Who else would help Rachel set up?"

"You're right. So keep quiet?"

Kurt nodded. "Mum's the word."

"Huh?"

…

Knowing what was coming at the end of the week made time pass extra-slowly for Puck. Monday night he was itching to see Rachel. Waiting all week for their big date was slow torture now that he knew he was actually going to get laid.

He sent her a text, parked a block away, and waited for her to let him inside her house. It wasn't planned, so he could tell Rachel was about to lose her shit, but she agreed to sneak him up to her room.

He knew that cuddling was one of her favorite things, and they didn't get to do that last night before she flew out the window at the first sound of someone else in the house. As she closed the bedroom door and tiptoed to her bed, he whispered, "Don't worry, I just came over to sleep. I just want to hold you."

The smile that lit her face was so worth it.

She kissed him goodnight and he suppressed a groan. They slipped into her bed and she fit into his arms like they were made for each other. And yeah, the happy little sigh she made as she snuggled closer definitely made it worth it.

Even if he had blue balls from his hard-on—it was unavoidable—the way her perfect ass pressed against him.

He came over to sleep with her, and that's what he did.

…

Jacob Ben-Israel couldn't sleep.

What he had overhead at school that day had punched him in the gut. He didn't stay to hear everything, but he heard enough. He should have expected this, but it still sickened him to actually know so much detail about when and how his dreams would be crushed. He had always hoped that he could wear down Rachel Berry's defenses and one day he'd become the guy for her. If he could keep the school against her (with the unsolicited but superbly effective assistance of the Populars), then he thought he stood a chance at becoming her first and wowing her with his sexual prowess. Not that he really had sexual prowess, but he was hoping that he'd develop some when she finally let down her guard. And if she was a virgin, maybe she wouldn't know any different. But after hearing Kurt telling Mercedes about Rachel's birthday plans, he knew that would never happen. She wasn't just losing her virginity; she was losing it to the most experienced, most sought-after man-whore at McKinley. If the rumors were true, and the demand from the ladies (in school and out) could serve as an indication, his dream girl was in for an experience to remember with arguably the hottest bad boy in town.

It was official. His life sucked monster balls.

He knew this already, but he'd finally lost hope that he'd get his deepest wish before senior year ended and Rachel Berry undoubtedly left his life to grace the Broadway stage.

Now Jacob had a decision to make. He could keep his recently-acquired knowledge to himself and let it eat at him as he stewed in his despair. Or he could share his information with the school (well, the blogosphere) to try to release some of his frustrations and potentially find a way to delay the inevitable.

He chose the latter.

…

_It's official. One the eve of her 18__th__ birthday party, Rachel Berry will no longer be the school's biggest JAP cock-tease. It was only a matter of time once she was seen regularly with Noah Puckerman that Rachel Berry would put her more than her mouth where so many girls have been before. If anything, the fact that it has taken this long is the real surprise. As I have already reported, I have it on good authority that the infamously prudish but secretly slutty Miss Berry put her mouth to work on Mr. Puckerman at Brittany Pierce's Halloween party. But all other intel indicated that she had gone no further with Puck (or any other guy for that matter). Nobody had laid claim to plundering that treasure—even as much as a certain reporter has coveted it for his own and had prayed to be that pooty pirate. That dream is not to be. Instead, sources indicate to me exclusively that a date has been set and Puck will be the lucky bastard who plucks that luscious Berry. Like my word play here? I only wish that I could have experienced more __**fore**__play with Rachel Berry even if I never got through her guarded gates. The panties I have from sophomore year just aren't enough to fill the Berry-shaped hole in my heart._

_But you, dear readers, have no interest in my feelings, I know. To reiterate the facts you care about in words the majority of you can understand:_

_Rachel Berry is going to lose her virginity to Noah Puckerman on December 22._

_If anyone besides this reporter thinks this is a terrible union, you have time to stop the madness._

_Tell her dads! They won't listen to me (unfortunately due to some incidents in the past that aren't important for this story). But you can send this story to them! (Contact me for more info.) As long as it doesn't come from me, I'm not in violation. (The details are not important.)_

_Do I realize that it is unrealistic to stop these two from their dirty, dirty deeds?_

_Yes._

_So, my next appeal is that anyone who can find out the time and location of this affair, please email me. I will set up some surveillance and have a souvenir to share! This is your call to action! Spy, my peers, spy like the wind!_

_JB-I, signing off_

_My dearest Rachel, if you're reading this, do you really want to risk a sex tape record of your exploits? I don't want to do it, but I could ruin you with it when you get to Broadway. Don't make me do it. Don't do it._

_Love,_

_Your biggest fan and most ardent suitor_

…

It was posted to the miserable gossipmonger's blog at 12:01 am and the news spread like wildfire.

But at least two McKinley students were oblivious to the drama.

They were asleep in each other's arms.

…

**A.N.** I had to stop here. But you can bet you know some of what to expect in the next chapter. And I'll try to get it out sooner than my most recent two chapters!

While I'm not easily offended, reviews including cursing over my delays won't speed me up. I do hope venting your frustrations, Anonymous reviewer, made you feel better even if it gave me a bit of writer's block when it comes to the romantic content of this chapter. I should be able to get my romance/smut level turned up a notch for the next update as the story demands ;)

Also, fyi, my plan for this story is to take it through high school and into college. Originally, I had planned to write out scenes for each chapter in advance of posting the very first chapter, but I ended up posting early based on the events of Season 2. So I've reached a point (a while ago) where I don't have any pre-written scenes. I won't have other pre-written scenes until Puck and Rachel hit college. I could write the rest of high school, or I could skip ahead (and just summarize a few key points) if you all prefer faster updates, etc. to get to the end of the story sooner.

Please let me know your preferences in your reviews. I won't take the time to set up a new poll for that question since I clearly need to spend my fanfic time writing instead of messing around! Thanks!


	18. Imperfect Perfection

**Ch. 18. Imperfect Perfection**

**A.N.** Sorry that this update was delayed by a few days! Lots going on in my family and then other events that delayed my writing and replying to messages and tweets…

Thank you so much for all the feedback on the last chapter! The verdict seems to be that I will continue through high school, but focusing on points that further the plot. For the most part, I have been doing that up to this point, though not everything has been revealed yet ;) (So far many seemingly insignificant details—like the fact that Rachel keeps a diary—will have purposes later in the story.)

Shout out to **alphaladywolf** who called a specific aspect of Jacob's fate.

And warning for some of you that there IS smut in this chapter—at the end ;)

**Disclaimer:** I do not own glee or anything familiar.

…

Rachel snapped awake to her phone alarm. Instantly she knew why the alarm was going off an hour earlier than she normally woke up (and why the alarm was the quiet one on her phone instead of the blaring music on her alarm clock). She had set it to sneak Noah out of the house before her dads awoke. He couldn't just sneak out of her window because she had to make sure she turned off the security system. The burglar alarm would alert her dads, the neighbors, and the police, and completely negate the purpose of sneaking out. As she silenced her phone, she smiled at the way Noah's arm draped over her body—as if even in the unconsciousness of sleep, he needed to be close to her.

That's what she told herself. And she reveled in the comfort of his arms before deciding to attempt to wake him. But just as she began to turn toward him to whisper, he started shifting his body. And in a move that was becoming familiar, his hand cupped her breast before he opened his eyes.

"Mornin', babe" he whispered with drowsy ease.

She smiled at him, "Good morning." The feeling hit her that she wished they could stay like this, so cozy in her bed together, forever. Or to at least have this experience every morning from now on. Her smile faltered. "I think it's time to sneak you out of here," she said, not bothering to hide her sadness at the prospect.

Puck frowned but nodded. "Yeah. Let's do this." He climbed out of her bed and they both shivered with the cold as their body heat escaped from under the covers. "I'll still pick you up for school like usual—in about two hours," he finished with a smirk.

She smiled and stood on her tiptoes to give him a closed-mouth kiss (to avoid sharing morning breath-ew), but she couldn't resist. "Thank you…for that and last night." The fact that he had come over just to cuddle touched her so deeply—her heart still felt swollen with joy and love (and the slightest pang of sadness).

He shrugged casually. "Sure thing, B."

But she caught a glimpse of his satisfied little smile before he pulled his shirt over his head. So she knew that he knew how much the night meant to her.

They padded down the stairs as quietly as they could and Rachel disabled the alarm before opening the front door. "See you soon," she smiled.

He winked at her and headed off in the dark to his truck a block away.

It was a perfect start to a perfect day.

Unfortunately, the rest of the day did not unfold so nicely.

…

Just as Puck pulled into the Berry driveway at 7am, his phone started going crazy with messages. He was curious, but just ignored them so he could pick up Rachel. She hated to be late—and that would cut in to his parking lot make out time.

Rachel skipped out to meet him. "Good morning!" she said brightly as she reached up to kiss him. Then she whispered, "Again."

Her words and the way her breath tickled his ear made his junk twitch. Damn, he couldn't wait until he could finally fuck her. He pulled her in for a better kiss—screw her dads if they were watching.

When he released her, she exhaled and whispered, "Wow."

He smirked proudly at his accomplishment and opened the truck door for her. And with that, they were off to school. Puck continued ignoring his phone to get in the 20-minutes of make out time they had before they had to face the school day. It wasn't until they were walking through the parking lot that he decided to see what all the messages were about—and when he started reading, he almost dropped his phone.

"Shit," he muttered.

There were messages from the glee club—about a million from Kurt—asking about Jewfro's blog and if they should tell Rachel or not. Everyone knew that Rachel didn't read the blog because of all the shit he crapped out about her. But this…fuck. He hadn't read everything yet, but he could tell it was bad. Their friends wanted to know if there was anything they could do for Rachel. Then there were messages from some of his jock friends congratulating him (for finally getting action again—those dicks), but also asking if he needed help taking care of that fuckwad Jacob (kinda nice of them to offer).

"What's wrong?" Rachel asked with concern.

Puck didn't know what to say. He thought for a moment and decided he should just be honest. She's handled worse than this. With a sigh, he handed her his phone so she could see for herself. He saw her eyes fill with tears, so he reached for his phone back and put his arm around her. "I don't know how, but I'll fix this." He shoved his phone in his pocket and clenched his fist. "That prick is going to pay."

To his surprise, when Rachel looked up at him, her face had hardened into a stone mask.

"Let's go," is all she said as she stomped toward the McKinley entrance.

Puck was stunned. "What are you doing?"

"We're taking care of this, and preferably before first period," she said in that clipped voice that meant business. That voice used to annoy the hell out of him, but that was before today—when he realized what she must be feeling when she talked like that. She was upset, but she didn't fall apart—she took action. He was simultaneously so proud of her, so sorry for her, so pissed at Fuckface, and so many other feelings; he was a complete mess. Fortunately, he had a goal to direct him so he didn't just punch a wall or something pointless like that. He was following Rachel (and her surprisingly fast legs for someone so tiny), and he was going to kick that Cocksucker's ass. It sounded like Rachel was on board with that idea—even though he didn't know what she meant by _we_'_re taking care of this_. Maybe he'd beat the shit out of the pansy-ass and Rachel would kick him in the nuts!

Puck started to grin just thinking about it.

As they hurried into school, Rachel's phone rang, and Puck took the opportunity to text Kurt and the rest back to say that Rachel knows, so they could meet them at her locker. Then he heard what Rachel was saying into the phone.

…

"This is not a good time, Jesse," she said quickly without giving him a chance to respond. "I know I haven't given you an answer about New York yet, and I fully intend to do so-"

Jesse cut her off. "Rachel, stop. That's not why I called. I'm glad I didn't wake you, but I figured you'd stick to your routine. I called to ask if you're ok."

"What?" she squeaked.

"I read it…just now."

"You read it," she repeated, trying to comprehend. "What are you talking about?"

Jesse inhaled sharply. "You already know, right?"

"Yes, I know," she snapped. "I'm just at a loss for how you know!"

"I subscribed to that cretin's blog back in high school after I heard that you were a focus of the contents. I still get alerts of the headlines, and this one…well…Are you alright?" He paused briefly before answering his own question. "Of course you are, you're Rachel Berry," he said.

"Yes, you're right, I am fine."

"Well, I'm sure that nobody is going to bother telling your dads about this. Who would do that? Especially now that school is out for Winter Break," Jesse reasoned.

"School isn't out here," she corrected. "We have one last day today to make up for a snow day. It's our last day of exams."

"Oh, so you're at school right now. I'm sorry for interrupting—this must be before first period though," he said, mostly to himself. Finally he asked, "Still, you must be feeling distraught, is there anything I can do?"

Rachel was softening at his explanation and inquiries. It was kind of sweet to think that he cared. Strange, but sweet. "No, there's nothing you can do, but thank you for asking. Noah and I will have it under control shortly. I promise to contact you soon regarding New York."

Puck was standing by, eyebrow raised. Rachel tried to tell him with her eyes not to worry, but she wasn't sure if he got the message.

Jesse replied with a sigh. "If you say you have it under control, I believe you, Rachel. But do not hesitate to call me if you need friendly advice on how to deal with this situation. I have plenty of suggestions," he assured her. "I will anxiously await I'll next conversation."

Rachel smiled a little. A little. "Goodbye, Jesse."

"Wait, Rachel," he started. "Tomorrow's your birthday, right?"

"Yes…"

"Well, then I wish it were under better circumstances, but Happy Early Birthday. I'm sure you will cross this minor bump in the road and have a wonderful birthday. You deserve it," he said sincerely.

"Thank you. I appreciate that, Jesse. Goodbye again."

"Goodbye, Rachel."

When she ended the call, Puck was waiting. "What was that about?" he asked moodily.

"Jesse called when he read the blog."

"What the fuck? That guy is keeping track-"

But Puck was interrupted (and prevented from going into a tirade) by Mike Chang clapping him on the back.

"Hey, guys," he greeted quickly. "Man, this sucks. Rachel, are you ok?" he asked with concern.

She nodded but tears were welling up again.

Wordlessly, Tina headed to the girls' room to get some tissues.

…

Mercedes and Kurt were heading to Rachel's locker, arguing all the way.

Kurt accused Mercedes of being Jacob's _exclusive source_. She firmly denied it and was bitter that he even suggested such a thing.

"Look Kurt, he must have overheard _you_ telling _me_ about it. I didn't tell anyone. I swear. And I would never tell that creepy Jewfro kid anything," she finished with a cringe.

Kurt nodded and conceded the point. "I'm sorry I accused you. I don't remember seeing him there though when I told you—and I thought we were being quiet."

Mercedes patted his shoulder sympathetically. "We weren't."

"Damn it," Kurt muttered. Then he rushed between Mike and Rachel to sweep her into a hug. "I'm so sorry, sweetie! This is partly my fault—and Mercedes," he said.

Mercedes huffed indignantly but didn't correct him. It's not like she asked him to tell her anything. She was an innocent receiver of gossip. But she decided now was not the time to place blame—unless Rachel got all pissy. Then she'd set it straight.

"We're so sorry this is happening, Rachel," Mercedes said. "What can we do? Kidnap him? Spread false rumors about your location? I'm ready, girl."

Rachel gave a half-smile. "Thank you for the offer, Mercedes. I'm actually not worried about Jacob's threat to carryout surveillance. That is all talk."

Everyone looked at her skeptically.

She continued undaunted. "And I would be surprised if any other student felt compelled to share this information with my dads. What reason could they have? Why would they even care?" She echoed Jesse's sentiments.

This actually made some sense to the gathering crowd of friends. But none of that mattered to Puck. Fuck logic. He just wanted to get his hands on that slimy bastard.

Finn, Santana, Sam, and Quinn arrived next, in an annoying foursome once again. Sam put his arm around Rachel immediately and gave her a half-hug. "We're here to help," he told her, and she smiled up at him gratefully.

Rachel wanted to show that she recognized that everyone was taking a big leap to be here supporting her, considering various past circumstances, but she couldn't properly enjoy the friendship around her in this moment. In fact, everyone around comforting her was making her lose focus on her goal and instead feel paralyzed within the make-shift pity-party. Even after all this time, she still wasn't used to having so many people rally around her—especially supporting something that had no effect on them whatsoever. With glee club, there was a certain symbiotic relationship (everyone needed everyone else to be successful to some degree for true team success), but this moment had nothing really to do with the team at all.

While Sam gave Rachel a pep talk and turned to Puck to ask what to do next, Finn, Santana, and Quinn hung back awkwardly. The three on the outskirts had all had their issues with Rachel or Puck (or both), but they each wanted to do something or say something. They just couldn't find the right words.

They didn't have much time to say anything before Artie came rolling up with Brittany, who declared, "We captured the troll."

Everyone turned to look at her questioningly. Artie explained. "Lauren and some of the AV club helped us lock Jacob in the AV closet. He's there waiting for justice to be served. We have about five minutes before first period, so-"

Puck pushed out of the crowd and bolted to the AV room.

Brittany and Artie shared a mischievous look before they started to follow Puck to watch what was about to go down.

But Rachel looked stricken. "No! He can't do this! He'll get in so much trouble!"

Brittany and Artie looked back at her, ashamed. "Sorry, Rachel," Artie said. "We thought we were helping."

Sam grabbed Finn and Mike. "C'mon guys, let's go make sure Puck doesn't get himself sent back to juvie for assault."

They headed down the hall when Finn said, "Juvie? Isn't that just for guys under 18?"

Mike and Sam looked at Finn with wide eyes. They ran faster.

Rachel, Kurt, and the rest of the girls were close behind. Well, Santana started walking, but then she decided she didn't want to miss it if Puck got in a punch before the others came to talk some sense into him.

That little pusball deserved an ass-kicking.

…

When they got to the AV room, Puck had Jacob against the wall in the closet, his forearm pinning the scrawny jerk's neck. But Jacob could still talk, and he was using the same argument that Finn had just made them all realize.

"You can't touch me," Jacob sniveled. He was shaking with fear, but he sounded confident. "They won't just send you to juvie—you'll be in real jail. And it just _tears me up_ to think of what they'd do to a pretty boy like you."

Puck clenched his gluts reflexively. Shit.

"Noah!" Rachel exclaimed as she managed to burst into the AV closet before anyone else. "You can't do this!"

He looked at her, tightening his hold on the Worm just to be certain he didn't escape. "Don't worry about me. I'd probably just have to pay a fine and get out of any real jail time."

"No!" Rachel shouted back. "An arrest record will definitely affect your ability to win scholarships for college, even to obtain student loans! He's not worth it at all."

Fuck. He knew she had to be right. But what could he do? He couldn't let this go. "I can't let him get away with this."

Rachel nodded. She knew that he couldn't just do nothing. It was gratifying that he was defending her honor, or maybe _their_ honor. "Yes, first, you should make him take down the blog and print a retraction to call off anyone who planned to spy on us."

Puck's eyes flashed. "Yeah, take down your fuckin' blog! And do the retraction thing she said, and…" he continued, on a roll, "Forget about your little plan to stop us or record us yourself. That's probably illegal. Right?" he turned to Rachel.

She shook her head sadly. "Unfortunately, even though we all know the blog is Jacob's, he posts anonymously with only his initials. We can't prove that it's him. To make it worse, Ohio is one of many states that doesn't have a law against that type of surveillance…I've checked." She glared at Jacob, whose lips were twitching between a smile and a grimace.

"That's stupid," Finn piped up.

"I agree," said Rachel. "Though if he did manage to record pornography that could be something…though child pornography laws wouldn't apply…" she was muttering to herself as she tried to come up with a better solution to stop Jacob Ben-Israel and try to keep from being mortified that the entire school knew so much about her sexual status .

But the warning bell rang.

Puck dug his arm into Jacob's neck—very close to crushing the windpipe. "So, do we have a deal? You take down the blog and forget this shit and nothing will happen to you later?"

Jacob appeared to be considering this decision, but really he was just trying to catch enough breath to reply. "Yes…deal."

Puck let go and Jacob fell to the floor. Before Jacob could get up, Puck crouched down and knocked him into the wall again, his head making a sickening thud. "If it's not down when I check after first period, you're going to get it," he threatened. He leaned closer to whisper so Rachel couldn't hear. "And I don't give a _fuck_ about schools, or jail, or any of that shit. If you don't do what we say…it won't be pretty. Leave us—leave _Rachel_—the fuck alone."

Puck stood up, leaving Jacob a quivering mess on the floor. He nodded to Lauren, who had been guarding the AV closet when he had arrived. "Thanks, Zizes," he grunted.

"Anytime, Puckerman," she smirked. "Let me know if you need my help with anything else."

He nodded and started to walk away when he turned back. "I just might need your help after school. If that's cool."

Lauren glanced at the Jacob who appeared to be waiting for Puck to leave before getting up. Then she looked at Puck. "It's cool," she grinned knowingly. "I'll miss wrestling after high school, so I'll be ready for whatever you need me for with this whiny-ass."

"You read my mind," he smirked.

Rachel waited as patiently as she could manage for this exchange to finish before she charged at her boyfriend. First she kissed him, but then she smacked him in the chest.

"What the hell?" he asked.

"I hate fighting!" she cried out and tears squeezed out of the corners of her eyes. "I thought we were going to take care of this together with logic and possibly intimidation…" she admitted before plowing ahead full-speed verbally. "But not with this violence! I don't want anything to happen to you! I know that physically you will be fine of course, but I'm concerned about your future! An arrest record is not-"

He pressed his lips to hers to shut her up. "Thanks for caring about me, B," he said softly. "This is me caring about you too, ok?"

She wanted to cry harder but she forced herself to calm down. She nodded. "Ok. Thank you. I see we have different ways of thinking about this. But if you care about me, please don't do anything else that will jeopardize your future. I care about that more than this. I'm not as upset about this stupid blog as everyone thinks I am. This won't change things…even though it _is_ unnerving that so many people know what they know…" She glanced around at their friends, who looked a bit embarrassed. "Thank you, everyone, for your concern. I hope you won't be late to first period."

They took that as their cues to leave.

Rachel looked back up at Noah. "Promise me?"

"Huh?" He couldn't remember what she was asking him.

"Promise me that you won't do anything else to put your future at risk over this absurd incident. Promise."

"Yeah, ok, I promise, Rach."

She nodded. "Thank you. Let's go to class and get on with our day. We have to do well on our exams even under these extenuating circumstances."

Puck didn't really care about his exams, but he supposed blowing off exams to do something stupid to Israel would go against the promise he just made. So he figured he'd do his best to get through his first exam before he checked to see if the little twat lived up to his end of the deal and took down the blog entry.

…

As soon as Puck handed in his exam, he counted the minutes for the bell to ring so he could check that fucker's blog.

It was still there.

And he didn't see anything that said all the stuff Rachel wanted either.

Maybe he hadn't given him enough time, but Puck didn't care. That little bitch-ass was in for it. He sent Lauren a text, "It's on. Meet me right after school."

Lauren smiled to see the text. What a great day.

…

Santana intercepted Puck at lunch. "I heard you're going after the snake after school."

"Yeah, so?"

"I'm just here to make sure you don't do something stupid."

He rolled his eyes. "Not you too."

"Look, it's not like I'm on her side. I still think Puke-face deserves to get squashed. I'm just gonna help you get more creative than what you're capable of yourself."

Puck decided to ignore the insult—'cause she was probably right.

Santana continued. "You and Zizes are probably thinking physical retribution, right?"

Puck shrugged.

"Well, what can you do to him that has never in the history of this school been punished?"

"Slushie him?" Puck guessed.

"Wrong," Santana said. "Throw that trash where it belongs…in the dumpster," she grinned.

Puck's eyes lit up. "That's perfect! I could kiss you!"

"Then do it already."

When he looked shocked, she pointed to her cheek. And he obliged.

"I didn't mean it literally, but I'm not gonna withhold it," he smirked.

"Whatever," Santana rolled her eyes and moved on to the payback plan for Israel. "I think you of all people know that there may be injuries associated with getting tossed that can't be blamed on you…especially if there's a blindfold involved."

"You're a genius!"

"That's what I keep telling people," Santana smirked back.

…

Puck was pleased with the way the plan was forming against the little piss-ant, but he was still feeling irritated—and as soon as he saw Rachel, he realized the source was the phone call from Jesse St. James. What was all that about?

So when they should have been having a light-hearted stress reliever between exams for their lunch period, instead they had to talk about annoying topics like Jacob Ben-Israel and Jesse St. James. Puck was not pleased that this was the first he was hearing that Rachel would see Jesse in New York.

"I haven't given him an answer," she explained quickly. "I don't actually want to see him, and if I tell my dads I already know that they'll take him up on his offer to let us stay with him. I've been procrastinating." She searched his eyes anxiously. "What do you think?"

"I think you shoulda told me sooner," he griped. "But now, I think you should just say no and stay in a hotel or whatever. Your dads make enough bank, right?"

She nodded resignedly, "I suppose they do, though they're not as free with their spending as they used to be, so saving money is preferable." She wasn't sure if she should be pleased that her boyfriend didn't want her to stay with another boy or offended. "You do realize that my dads will be there too, right? I'm not talking about going off to New York to stay alone with Jesse."

"Will be soon enough," he muttered darkly.

Rachel blinked—she thought she knew what he had just said even though the words were mumbled. "Noah? Are you upset that I'm even auditioning for NYU? That's always been the plan." She wanted to remind him that she wanted him to apply there too, but he had refused. She decided not to mention it.

This time he nodded resignedly. "Yeah, I know. I can't be mad at ya, B," he tried to grin. "Can't hold back a star like you." He forced himself to drop it and gave her a peck on the lips. He couldn't let all this shit ruin her birthday—and their plans.

Rachel smiled sweetly, following his lead to try to release the tension. "Thank you, Noah." She squeezed his hand. "Let's make the most of every minute. I'm going to forget about this silly business with Jacob and concentrate on the positive," she proclaimed. Then she smiled flirtatiously, "And what I'm thinking about is extremely positive."

Puck grinned back at her in spite of his mood, and his dick perked up in spite of it too. And the flirting and weak wood made him feel a little better. Maybe this week wouldn't be ruined.

By the end of his lunch period, the blog was down (he checked after Rachel went to class) and every demand had been met, but because those were met late, Puck figured the new dumpster plan was appropriate. Jacob wouldn't get the full fury of the Puckasaurus, but he'd still get punishment to teach him not to fuck around. It didn't help Jacob's case that he was po'd about Jesse.

But that wasn't Puck's problem.

…

During the last class of the day, Puck sent Rachel a text explaining (lying) that he had a last-minute idea for her birthday and asked if she would be able to find another ride home. He felt a little guilty, but he also sent Hummel a text asking him to take her home, so he lined up her ride without waiting for her reply. Then he alerted Zizes and Lopez.

The plan was put into action.

It basically went down with Santana distracting Jacob. Though it turned out Santana's plan was to take Rachel aside in the hall and say she saw something on her skirt. Rachel stopped, while Santana lifted the skirt ever-so-slightly all around, picking imaginary lint. The only things to be seen were Berry's thick winter tights, but it was enough to piss Puck off and enough to draw Jacob's complete attention.

(Mission accomplished perfectly in Santana's mind.)

Lauren grabbed Israel from behind while Puck threw the blindfold over his head—roughing him up already for the way he stared at Rachel's thighs and ass. The blindfold was Puck's well-used t-shirt from weight-lifting class that morning. It smelled like balls and fortunately didn't have his football number, name, or anything identifiable. Puck and Lauren carried a hyperventilating Jacob out to the dumpster. Santana had doubled-back around to help open doors but she wasn't going near the stink pile, and Puck and Lauren were capable of handling things on their own the rest of the way.

Yeah, there were a few kids around, but this was a fairly common sight at McKinley and everyone was in a hurry to get home for break, so they weren't too worried about witnesses. The other glee clubbers were on distraction duty too—to distract witnesses instead of Jacob and Rachel this time. So most of the straggling students had their eyes on Mike Chang's impromptu dance party, or Quinn and Brittany's slightly Les stretching session, and whatever else the gang was coming up with. Even if Jacob accused them, they all figured that nobody would back him up. In fact, they had a bribery plan in the works just in case. It wasn't fully formed yet, but Kurt and Santana were evil masterminds who said they just needed a few more hours after school to work out the details and figure out if it was needed.

Puck and Lauren finally got the little weasel to the dumpster, and they silently acknowledged that they could _not_ let him hit his head. They did _not_ want to knock him unconscious and wind up with murder charges. But they did knock him around a bit before heaving him into the trash.

Then they ran.

They didn't want to be seen when Jacob crawled his way out of the dumpster, just in case he had a camera or some shit to get any real evidence on them.

They were both out of breath when they got back inside the school. Lauren's face was red, but she grinned. "Feel better?" she panted.

He nodded. "Yeah, thanks. Appreciate the help."

"Seriously, anytime."

Puck raised his eyebrow at her tone, and they headed to the parking lot. In that moment, Puck could not believe he'd ever seen Lauren as more than a friend. Yeah, she was a badass but that's what made her so fun as a friend. Rachel could be a badass too—he kept seeing it more and more, but she was also kinda fragile sometimes—like she might actually need him a little or something. There wasn't anyone else who made him feel the way she did—like she really cared about him AND like maybe he even had something to offer (besides deep dicking and arm candy).

He couldn't wait to see Rachel and get down to business! He wanted her so badly.

But he still had to figure out what they were doing for her birthday.

…

It was about 4pm when he got home. Puck decided it wouldn't hurt to mention his task of coming up with a date of firsts to Sarah. She'd actually been really helpful in the jewelry store (after he managed to pull her away from his friends). Sarah was such a little pain in the ass it was hard to remember she was only four years (and a few months) younger than he and Rachel.

With that realization, he hoped that Sarah would wait until she was 18 or older before having sex with some jerky boy—and not be anything like he was at her age. Fuck.

"Hey, kid, can we talk for a sec?" he asked her.

She raised her eyebrow at him, but shrugged, "Sure." She turned back to keep watching tv. "Whatcha wanna talk about?"

"I have to figure out what to do for Rachel's birthday. She wants me to find something I've never done or someplace I've never gone with another girl." As the words left his mouth, he knew this was too awkward to talk about with his little sister. He should just tell her to keep her legs closed no matter how many boys beg for it, and to send any trouble-makers his way for an ass-kicking. He was about to switch gears and just say that when Sarah responded with a bright laugh.

"That's easy! Just tell her you love her!"

Sarah was applauding her own brilliance when she saw her brother's face darken.

"Can't. That wouldn't be a first," he mumbled.

"You've already told Rachel you love her?" she squealed. She bounced up and down on the couch and grabbed at his arms in her excitement.

"No." He brushed her hands away. "I mean I've told another girl I love her. So it wouldn't be a first."

Sarah's face twisted with disappointment at the ruined moment. "What? Who?"

"Quinn," he said flatly. There was an implied "Duh."

She nodded. "Oh yeah. Quinn."

"Any other ideas?" Puck asked irritably.

"Let me get back to you on that," she said flippantly as she stretched her legs out onto the coffee table.

"Fine," Puck grunted as he got up from the couch. "And speaking of…well, Quinn and shit, you better not think about having sex any time soon—like not until you're outta school!" he threatened. No friendly brother-sister talk here, he was in too pissy of a mood. He glowered down at her. "Don't let any of those little douchebags at school pressure you. I'll kick their asses _and yours_ if you wind up preggo! You understand?"

Sarah nodded. No point in reasoning with him when he was being all bipolar. "I understand."

"Good," he said harshly. Then he stomped upstairs to his room.

…

About an hour later, Sarah crept upstairs and pressed her ear against Noah's bedroom door. It didn't sound like anything she shouldn't interrupt, so she gave a quick knock and walked in to see her brother playing Call of Duty or something.

"How about cooking dinner for her? You've never cooked dinner for a girl before, right?"

Puck didn't look away from his game. "She's vegan or whatever. Too hard."

"I think _you're_ making this too hard!" she exclaimed in frustration. "All she probably wants is for you to say you love her or something simple like that!"

Puck paused the game. "Do you think she set me up? Like she's trying to trick me into saying that?"

Sarah's eyes widened as she realized that her brother was getting upset at this idea. "No, of course not, dummy. She wouldn't want you to say something you don't mean." Then she finished with a mumble, "She probably just wants you to mean it, you tool."

Puck was frowning and trying to figure out what this all meant—to him, to Berry, everything. Finally he just grunted, "Ok, well, the clock's ticking, so let me know if you think of anything else."

"I won't," Sarah declared. "It doesn't look like you care enough to think about it, so why should I?" With that, she slammed the door and stomped back downstairs. "Jerk!" she shouted when she plopped onto the couch.

Puck rolled his eyes. What she didn't realize was that he was playing the game to calm down and clear his head. And now that Sarah planted the thought that Rachel could be trying to manipulate him into telling her he loves her, he definitely needed more gaming time.

Too bad tomorrow was her actual birthday. He was really under the gun.

He finally decided to call Rachel. Maybe talking to her would help him figure out what to do besides give her the necklace. She asked for a First. He needed to find one. But as he reached for his phone, a framed photo on his desk caught his eye. And he had his idea.

...

While Puck was feeling oddly pressured to make things perfect, Rachel wasn't feeling nearly as nervous as she thought she would. But despite this role-reversal, both were looking forward to moving past the drama drudged up by the blog scandal and to finally having their moment.

On the morning of her 18th birthday, Rachel woke up early. In part it was due to excitement. But it was also because she wanted to look extra nice and she wasn't sure what time to expect her boyfriend for their Date of Firsts. It was Tuesday, but school was out for Winter Break, so they had a whole day—her dads had to work and miraculously they seemed to be fine with the idea that she would be spending the day with Noah. They just reminded her to respect herself, be safe, blahblahblah.

In reality, Rachel's dads were not fine with the thought of Rachel alone with Noah Puckerman, but there was little they could do about the situation except trust that she would make wise choices. They both had to work, and contrary to Puck's belief, the sluggish economy had hit them harder than they wanted Rachel to know. They did, however, plan to check in on their daughter throughout the day with happy birthday messages, and they planned to rush home after work to have a special dinner with just the three of them before they had the Puckermans over for dinner on Thursday and Rachel's friends over for a party on Friday.

Rachel knew more about her dads' situation and views on her boyfriend than they realized, but on the topic of Noah, she didn't care if they disapproved. She was losing her virginity today, on her birthday. (And not the date three days from now that ended up on Jacob's blog.)

She said goodbye to her fathers as they left for work and then she hopped into the shower. She was already so enthusiastic about the idea that she was going to have a magical experience with Noah that everything seemed to remind her of sex. She thought about what he would see when he looked at her this time. Would everything be the same as the other times when they had fooled around, or would this step make things different? When she vigorously pushed the salon pump on her shampoo bottle, the spurting action and opaque white gel instantly reminded her of _him_. She felt the heat of her embarrassment for her own ridiculousness (even though she was alone) and the heat of her desire for him.

She busied herself with preparations, making sure she was fastidiously groomed. As soon as the thought flashed through her mind, she blushed at the memory of Jesse St. James making a vow to her using those words. Even as she stamped out the image of Jesse in her mind, she admitted that grooming was an extremely important part of these preparations to make one feel sexy and to please one's partner.

After she thought she was near enough to being ready and that it wasn't so early that she would disturb him, she sent a text to Noah asking if there is any advice or preferences he had for what she should wear.

She blushed again but was very pleased by his reply. "You know I want you to wear as little as possible," he growled when he called her back. "But for the date part, you should dress for the weather and being outside."

"Outside, really? Any other clues to our mystery date of Firsts?"

"Nope," he said playfully. "Not yet… When should I pick you up?"

"I'm ready for you now," she said in what she hoped was a suggestive tone.

It was close enough for Puck. He sprang into action (like the way the Puckster in his pants sprang up). "I'll be there in 20!" He disconnected the call and hurried up with his slow ass. He had forgotten that the Berry dads would be at work so they would have the run of the house until like 6pm. What the fuck was he waiting for? For the place he was taking Rachel to open? Screw that! As long as she was game—and it sounded like she was—they should take advantage of the empty house while they could, and THEN do the date shit.

Puck hustled Sarah over to a friends' house. (Even though she would probably be fine alone, he didn't want to risk her inviting some boy over and doing what he and Rachel were about to do!) Then he was on his way.

When Rachel opened the door, he knew he was right about Rachel being down for getting it on—she was wearing a pink silk robe and high-heeled shoes with little fluffy pink feather things. Not exactly what he would call 'ready' for their date unless she meant _ready for the bedroom_. Puck grinned and could hardly contain his excitement (or the bulge growing in his jeans). He closed the door behind them and kissed her.

"Hey baby," he breathed as their lips parted. "You _do_ look ready for me."

Rachel felt a rush confirming that she indeed was as ready as she would ever be. "Then you don't mind if we start in the bedroom?" she asked, even though she had felt the answer pressed against her when they kissed.

"Hell no, I don't mind!" he smirked. He had a good feeling that he was right about Rachel in another way too—he'd thought for a long time that once she was unleashed, she would be a hellcat in sack. "It's like we're on the same wavelength."

She smiled as she led him upstairs. He stared at the way her ass shimmied and how her calf muscles flexed as she took the stairs in those heels—damn she was smokin'. Not that he didn't know that already, and not that he hadn't seen her naked before, but damn. He was one lucky bastard.

The best part? Morning daylight. No matter how dark she tried to make her bedroom, there was enough natural light that he was gonna get to see all that hotness. Doing it in the dark by feel is good and all, but the visual in the light was by far his preference. Especially when the girl had a body like Rachel's.

The second best part? Empty house. That meant they were free to make all the noise they wanted. He wanted to hear her. He wanted her to say his name.

Maybe he was getting ahead of himself. He probably couldn't expect that on her first time she would be thrashing around, changing positions, yelling his name as she enjoyed every thrust. But after they get her through the first few times, he was sure he would have that to look forward to.

After Rachel had closed the curtains in her room as tightly as she could, she wasn't sure if she should just drop her robe or what to do next. Fortunately, Noah made the next move.

"So fuckin' hot," he mumbled as he pulled her body to his and again swept her into a breathtaking kiss. But this time as he kissed her, his hands—oh those hands—caressed her as they explored her body.

While he held her at the small of her back with his right hand, he used his left hand trail through her hair and down slipping off her robe from her shoulder. He pulled away from their kiss to appreciate the view.

But Rachel wasn't ready to stand before him like that if he was still fully dressed! She needed to see some skin too! With her robe still clinging to her (aside from her exposed right shoulder), she reached for his sweatshirt. His casual attire made her curious for the type of date they'd be having, but she would question him on that subject later. "I want to see you too," she whispered, before realizing that they didn't need to keep their voices low.

Puck grinned and helped her remove his sweatshirt and t-shirt. She drank in the sight of his tan chiseled body as if she hadn't seen it in ages—or as though she were seeing it for the first time.

"Now you," he prompted and slipped her robe the rest of the way off. The pink robe was a puddle on the floor and Puck couldn't believe that it had hidden what he now saw. Black lace on her golden skin was not what he was expecting under that girly pink robe, but he was fucking glad for this surprise. "Oh, Berry, you _are_ a dirty girl!"

She flushed but decided not to contradict him to say that the intent was not to be dirty but to be seductive so that she felt more prepared for this moment. She let him say what he wanted, and she stepped closer to him to unbutton his jeans.

Puck was busy eyeing the way her boobs popped out of the black lace bra and the way the tiny black panties seemed to disappear—yep, he confirmed that those ass cheeks were out on display. First he peered over her, and then he reached around to feel for himself. "That's what I'm talkin' about!"

She giggled at his ridiculous comment but it also helped her to feel more relaxed for this moment. She exhaled and thought, "This is just one step further than what you've already done together, just one more step." And with that boost of reassurance, she unzipped his fly. This was really happening. Now.

And she really wanted this—so badly. She pressed herself against him suddenly and kissed him. Hard.

It caught him off-guard, but he was all about it. He grabbed her ass with both hands and hoisted her up. She instinctively wrapped her legs around his waist, and he was about to carry her to the bed when he realized his pants were still around his ankles. He started a careful shuffle when Rachel looked down and realized what was going on—and burst out laughing.

"Not the reaction I was hoping for," he chuckled as he let her slide down his body (to safety). But he stepped out of his jeans quickly, kicked them aside, and then instead of continuing to carry her gingerly to the bed, he tackled her (gently). She was giggling but her eyes widened as he looked down at her—they must have both felt the same heat as he hovered over her. He kissed her and knew that he was going to use every trick in the book to make her enjoy this.

Rachel reached for him, for his erection as he kissed her, but he pulled away slowly from her hand. Misreading his act, she was about to sit up to take him in her mouth, but he stopped her.

"Let me just do this for you this time," he said. Rachel bit her lip, but nodded. He didn't seem to need her to go down on him to arouse him—he was clearly already very aroused. She settled back down on the bed and tried to position herself to best display her assets and lingerie while she awaited his actions.

Puck felt the urge to tug down those panties with his teeth, so he kissed his way there and clearly surprised her with the move. But what he saw surprised him—she had cleared him a workspace…so smooth. "Fuck, Rach," he said hoarsely. "You really are full of surprises."

Rachel blushed, but Puck barely noticed. He figured since she put in so much effort, he'd go right for it, tonguing her with gusto. He made the most of his place between her firm thighs. She bucked her hips a bit and started shuddering in no time. He mixed it up by making his way up to free her from that bra. His cock was throbbing with need for her, but he was thrilled to get his hands and his mouth on those boobs. The wait was the best torture. His tongue teased her, his fingers pinched lightly, and then his right hand made its way down. He felt her walls spasm and clench around his fingers inside her. She was so wet for him, and he was so hard for her. Just when he was about to ask, she gave the signal.

"Now," she breathed. "Please, Noah," she sighed, nearly whimpering.

He nodded, grateful that they'd reached this point. He turned over to grab a condom. He started to roll it on when he looked over at her. "Are you sure you're ready?" he asked with concern replacing his playfulness and lust.

"Yes," she said solemnly. "Are you ready?" she asked reflexively.

"You kidding me? I've been ready ever since you came up with the de-virginizing idea months ago!" he exclaimed enthusiastically. But as soon as he said it, he wanted to take it back. She had stiffened and her face changed. He was starting to figure out how to read her eyes even when she tried to hide her feelings. "I don't mean…That's not what this is about for me anymore. I just…want us to be together. You're the one I'm going to miss the most after this year…"

Immediately she wrapped her arms around his neck in a huge hug and automatically wrapped her legs around him too, pulling him down on top of her. He quickly slipped into his natural place, and with help from the lubricated condom, he unintentionally slid inside of her in one smooth motion.

Rachel let out a gasp.

Puck couldn't tell if it was surprise or pain or both. "Sorry! Should I pull out?"

"No," she shook her head and massaged his shoulders a bit to calm them both. "Please."

Puck nodded reluctantly and began slow thrusts. He was so intent on watching her face that he forgot his plan to make sure the rest of her was feeling good. As if bracing herself, Rachel's eyes were squeezed tightly shut.

The thought that he was hurting her—even if it was only a little and only temporary—was killing him. But hurt was the only thing he could see in her face. He needed to look into her eyes. "Rachel? Look at me?" he asked uneasily, willing her to open her eyes.

And when she did, the concern (love) she saw in his amber-green eyes overwhelmed her. The slight twinges of pain and fear (physical and emotional) she felt melted away and were completely replaced by hope and love.

"Oh, Noah…I, I…" she breathed.

He buried his face in her hair and moaned her name as they shuddered together.

…

**A.N.** So much smut to write :) The smut will actually continue in the next chapter, which will also include the rest of their date, the birthday dinner with the parents, and the official birthday party with the gleeks. If I can fit it in, there will also be at least part of Rachel's visit to New York for her audition. And yes, there are going to be details that happen that will come into play in the future chapters.


	19. Firsts: Past and Present

**Ch 19. Firsts—Past and Present**

**A.N.** Thanks, everyone, for your feedback! Another shoutout to **alphaladywolf** who amused me with requests for spoilers on the story (which I granted), and for great feedback/story ideas. And to **acaudill0068** for so often being the first to review!

Traffic's not as high for this story lately, but I'm hoping it's because this time of year is busy for lots of you. For those who are reading, I'm going to post a new poll soon, which means the poll about Quinn will be closing soon—let's say June 4. So if you haven't voted yet and want to, do it before then!

**Notice: Smut is at the top of this chapter. **

**Disclaimer:** I do not own glee or anything else familiar. Also, I wrote the date scenes before I had seen the adorable pictures of Mark helping Lea ride his skateboard in NYC, but you can use those pics to help envision the scenes I wrote if you like ;)

…

Rachel awoke from their morning nap feeling different. Not extraordinarily different, but perhaps subtly shifted from virgin to a girl who just made love. Yes, that's how she thought of it, even if she knew he didn't. That knowledge didn't change the warmth and contentment she felt in this moment, here in his arms. Her heart felt so full, she thought she might burst. She wanted to soak up every detail of this experience and the hours that led up to it. She wanted to stay like this forever. In a sensation that puzzled her, she could _feel_ the loss of him from inside her. She had felt it so sharply when he withdrew from her—almost a stinging ache. But she thought it would go away. She supposed that maybe it had gone away and was replaced by this dull awareness that she was _empty_. And as she turned to look at him while he slept, that feeling became a throbbing pulse of her desire for him.

Those cheekbones, those lips, those gently curling eyelashes resting on his golden skin…and the curves of his muscular physique.

She couldn't restrain herself any longer. She nuzzled his neck and grazed his chest as she pushed the blanket away so she could look at the rest of him.

He was the most beautiful man she had ever seen. She was certain. And she was relatively sure that she would never find anyone who would compare to his combination of incredible physical beauty and true beauty of spirit. He might be the closest approximation to a perfect man.

While her brain told her that might be an exaggeration, her heart told her he was truly the perfect man for her, and her body told her that she needed him…now. Again. _Always_.

His breath became shallower as he seemed to be waking up with her movements. She straddled him and began to kiss his lips, his cheeks, his neck, his chest, down, down, down. She let her breasts brush against his skin for a sensation that clearly pleased them both. His body was responding, and he was smiling with his eyes closed. She smiled at the sight, then focused on his piercing, playing with it using her tongue, and he hardened as expected.

"Mmm," he groaned softly. "I dreamed you-" he mumbled before opening his eyes and taking in the view. "What a way to wake up," he said approvingly, voice still thick with sleep. But he was quickly emerging from his fog. "Damn, B, look at you work it."

He'd been slowly waking up for awhile now, but he thought he was dreaming and hadn't wanted to lose it. When he realized this was really happening, he knew he'd hit the jackpot. This girl really was the best thing that'd ever happened to him. He watched her kissing down his body, and he gave her a light smack on that perfect ass. She seemed surprised, and maybe it was a little early for ass smacking considering she'd only just had sex for the first time. But hey, she was the one waking him up all sexified, with her rear sticking up, just begging for it. And he had a feeling somewhere else would be begging for his touch. He curved his hand to make his way between her thighs, and he confirmed his suspicions. "You're already wet for me, baby." He stroked her, and she began rocking to his rhythm, still kissing and massaging his chest, finally returning to his lips. He sat up half-way, propped by pillows, and he lifted her along for the ride—he just had to lick her tits.

She leaned her head back, moaning, and positioned her hips-holy fuck, she was about to mount him!

"Whoa, hold on, baby. Can't forget the condom. Seems like this is getting to be a habit," he chuckled lightly. "How's a guy supposed to control himself around you?" he asked as he held her hips to halt their action.

She froze and looked embarrassed.

"Babe, this awesome. You better believe I'm getting a condom right now," he assured her as he reached for that very thing. "And the fact that you're ready—that you're the one who wants it—it's like fuckin' heaven." And it was—he was sick of feeling like the asshole begging for sex. And to feel wanted like this—by her—was fucking amazing.

She smiled and hoped that he'd hurry up with that condom.

"You always did like being on top," he smirked. "Control freak," he joked as he finished rolling the latex down and tweaking the end.

"Noah!"

"Don't worry, you and your boobs are gonna love it on top," he promised.

And in a moment, she confirmed it—he was right, so right.

…

When she rolled off of him, slick with a light sheen of sweat, Puck couldn't help but stare. So hot—beautiful. And he felt so…he couldn't really name it. Happy wasn't quite right, even though he was, but there was a calmness too—like everything was perfect. There was also a sense of…pride maybe? He was pleased at the idea of being her first, the only one to make her feel this way.

He wrapped his arm around her and drifted off to sleep again.

…

Rachel woke to hear her phone buzz with a happy birthday message from her dad.

"On my way to lunch and thinking of you on your birthday, sweetie!" read the message from Aaron Berry.

That was almost immediately followed by a similar message from Marshall Berry.

She smiled at the messages. "I should respond," she said. "I know what they're doing…checking up on me…us…and they'll be unnecessarily concerned if I don't reply right away."

Puck wasn't ready to let her out of bed and playfully trapped her beneath him until she exclaimed in a panic, "They could drive here during their lunch break!"

That got Puck moving. At least enough to let Rachel escape from under his arm to text and call her dads. And now that she mentioned lunch breaks, he was hungry.

"Hey, baby, you hungry?"

"If that's a euphemism," she started, still looking down at her phone, but stealing a glance between his legs.

"Nah, it's not, but I love that you're thinkin' dirty," he smirked. "Rachel Berry, right after her de-virginizing and second go-round, is ready to munch me for lunch."

"Noah!" she exclaimed with wide, scandalized eyes.

"Just jokin', B," he chuckled. "Though I won't stop you if you want to…"

She bit her lip as though she were actually considering it. "Later?" she suggested.

"Sweet!" he grinned.

"Shall we see what we can find for lunch? Maybe we can have something delivered."

…

They ended up getting delivery from the only place Rachel knew that would prepare her something vegan. Puck did not go vegan, and Rachel didn't push him, though she did offer to let him try hers. He gave in and decided it wasn't terrible, but no match for real food.

"So, do you want to go out on our date now?" he asked after he finished wolfing down his fries.

"Oh! Yes! I nearly forgot about our plans! I just need to…freshen up…and get dressed," she blushed as she glanced at her silk robe. "What did you say I should wear again?"

"My vote is nothing," he grinned casually. "But if we actually go out on our date, you'll probably be too cold naked…"

"Noah!"

…

Puck waited downstairs for Rachel to get ready for the rest of their day together. Once he got serious, he had told her to dress to be outdoors but he still hadn't told her what they were actually doing. He hoped she didn't think it was too lame. His hands got a little clammy as he started second-guessing his plan. Why did he let the picture he had on his desk shape his whole plan?

Probably because his stupid ass couldn't think of anything else and he'd waited until the last minute for inspiration to strike.

But the inspiration was the photo of the last time he could remember being truly happy as a kid. His mom had taken the picture—he was about 8, Sarah was about 4, and they were smiling with their dad after just coming off the ice rink.

Not long after that, things turned to shit. Dad's drinking got outta control. He couldn't keep a job. He finally left. Maybe Ma kicked him out—she'd never talk about it, so Puck wasn't quite sure. He had been too young to really realize the importance of what was happening at the time.

But that day on the ice, he had felt happy and carefree. After that, his mom didn't really have time to drive them the hour of town to get to outdoor ice rink in the winters. Skating at the indoor rink in town for league hockey wasn't the same, though Puck did it for a long time. He only dropped hockey after middle school when it was clear that Finn was not going to be coordinated enough to join the team. And for some reason back then, Puck had decided to do everything Finn did. Plus it was obvious that football and basketball were going to be cooler—those were the sports that had cheerleaders. Clearly girls in short skirts were a bigger draw for his 13-year-old-self than rowdy hockey dads and nervous hockey moms. So the ice became a thing of the past.

Once he got his license, Puck drove himself to the outdoor ice rink a few times, but he always went alone. He never wanted to share that place with anyone else. Until now.

So that's where he was taking Rachel.

…

Upstairs, Rachel was putting the finishing touches on her 'outdoor winter date look'. She selected a cozy but slightly clingy (hopefully sexy) winter white sweater with coordinating tweed skirt and tights. She added a matching fluffy beret, but then realized she needed to re-curl a few misbehaving strands of hair to frame her face. After several overly frustrating minutes, her computer alerted her to a new email, and she welcomed the distraction from her silly perfectionist tendencies while styling her hair…until she saw the sender of the message.

Shelby Corcoran.

The subject line read "Happy Birthday, Rachel."

For a moment she was tempted to open the email. But no, she didn't want this to affect the rest of her date with her boyfriend. She didn't want to feel bitter. She didn't want to feel needy. She wanted to forget (if only for one day) about her past. In this moment, she even wanted to forget about her future.

She just wanted to live in the now. With him.

And though it took tremendous effort, she pushed Shelby's email out of her mind and closed her laptop (a little too forcefully).

The sound sent Puck bounding up the stairs to see if she was (finally) ready.

Fortunately, as soon as Noah popped his head into her room, all her distractions were obliterated in the sparkle of his green eyes.

Before he could say a word, she told him what he surely wanted to hear. "Yes, we can go now. I apologize for the delay. I just…wanted to look nice."

"You look amazing. Like a snow angel or something," he said as he drank in her glowing beauty.

She giggled at his words and a slight flush colored her cheeks. "Thank you, Noah."

They walked downstairs together and Rachel armed the security system—just in case Jacob or anyone else tried to break into her house to set up surveillance. Too creepy. But as soon as the truck backed out of her driveway, Rachel's thoughts were focused on one person only: Noah Puckerman.

…

They had another half an hour to drive out of Lima to get to the outdoor ice skating rink, so Puck decided he didn't need to keep quiet any longer. That way if she hated the idea, they'd know before they were already out of town.

"So, how do you feel about ice skating?"

"Is that where we're going?" Rachel asked with a smile. "I feel great about it! I've never been ice skating, but that makes it a double first! Another first for me and a first for us!"

"You've never been ice skating!" Puck exclaimed in surprise.

"Well, my dads took me once for a school-sponsored party, but as soon as they saw someone fall, they freaked out and decided it would be best to protect me from injuries to preserve my dancing."

"Huh…so should we do something else?" Damn, he should've known it was stupid idea, he cursed himself.

"No! Of course not! I'm 18 today! I can make my own decisions!" she exclaimed firmly.

Puck chuckled. "Hell yeah you can."

"What made you choose ice skating as our date?" she asked curiously.

He knew that he'd have to explain, but he still felt the heat of embarrassment creep into his face and burn his ears. "Well, I've never taken a girl there for a date, and that's what you wanted right? To do something I haven't done with another girl?"

She nodded.

"…And this place is kinda special to me or whatever. It's the last good memory I have before my dad left…"

Rachel gasped and covered her mouth with her gloved hand, but waited for him to say more.

"I just thought…maybe it could be special for us too…"

"That's a wonderful idea, Noah. I love it! I'm so happy you want to share this with me!"

Her eyes showed that she meant it. Still, Puck wasn't sure that they should keep going.

"Well, if I had known your dads don't want you to ice skate, I would've figured out something else to do. It's not too late…"

"I'm glad you chose this. I'm sure you'll help me. I'm sure you'll keep me safe," she smiled warmly.

Puck glanced away from the road and back to her with a little grin. "Yeah, I'll hold onto you, and I'll bet you'll get the hang of it in no time. Heck, you can't move to New York and not be able to go ice skating at Rockefeller—Even if it's about Christmas, that giant tree does look awesome, right?"

Rachel beamed at him and tears were shining in her eyes. She nodded and blinked back the tears rapidly.

"That sounds magical," she breathed. "But you have to promise that you'll be there—that at the earliest opportunity you and I will go ice skating at Rockefeller Center _together_."

"Deal." He flashed a half-grin. "There's just something about skating outside that's so much better than inside the old rink in town, you know?"

"I don't know, but I trust you," she smiled.

They pulled up to the rink and it didn't seem as nice of a place as it had when Puck was a kid. He was suddenly nervous again and felt the need to explain himself. "I've never taken a girl here before, and I haven't been here in like two years. I didn't realize how crappy it looks. I guess I don't really know how to be... I've never spent a whole day with a girl on a date before."

"Then I'm glad we can have this First together," Rachel smiled reassuringly. "Don't worry," she patted his hand. "This will be fun!"

He smirked at her enthusiasm and took her hand. They rented their skates, and Rachel took her wobbly steps to get onto the ice without help. But as soon as she hit the ice, she nearly fell. Obviously Puck caught her in his arms. Hell, in that moment he wanted to forget the skating and just take her back to her house to be alone. Why had he thought leaving the house to do something other than sex her up was a good idea? He whispered his thoughts to Rachel, who seemed amused but uninterested in leaving.

"I appreciate the sentiment, but I think I need some recovery time…down there," she whispered back to him. "And this is a great story to tell my dads about what we did for my birthday! Oooh, picture time!" she squealed. As she reached into the pocket of her creamy wool coat for her phone, she nearly slipped again. Puck caught her with a smirk, but smiled for the picture of the two of them together.

"Let's get one on my phone too before you do a face plant," he joked.

She pouted indignantly, but beamed beautifully when he snapped the photo. "I'll show you who's going to skate circles around New York!" she exclaimed as she pushed off the railing to make a precarious circle around the rink on her own.

Puck watched her for a moment before skating after her to make sure she didn't actually face plant.

It was a good thing he'd already busted his load this morning because Rachel was determined to learn how to ice skate. He wasn't sure if he would have been able to convince her to leave to have their first fuck before she'd mastered ice skating, so yeah, damn good thing that he wasn't itching for it as much as he would have been if he hadn't unloaded—twice.

They'd been there an hour and she showed no signs of stopping.

He'd created a monster.

But she was so freakin' cute. Her face was all scrunched with concentration, and when she passed someone else on the ice, her eyes lit up with her accomplishment. Yeah, he couldn't help grinning at her like an idiot.

They skated hand in hand. At first he held both of her hands and guided her along, but as she got her balance he switched to just holding one hand. Puck had to admit that he was impressed by how quickly she picked up ice skating—she was getting pretty good at it. But as much fun as he was having, he hoped that she'd be ready to jet now that she had gotten the basics of skating.

Puck tugged on her hair playfully. "I'm glad this idea worked so well, but do you think we can head out now? I still have to give you your gift."

"Gift!" Her eyes lit up, but she said, "You didn't have to buy me a gift! The experience is the gift!"

"Yeah, the _experience_ is a gift," he said suggestively, and Rachel blushed. "But I got you something too," he finished.

She agreed that they could leave the ice. Instead of going back to the truck after returning their skates, Puck guided Rachel to a nearby picnic table. The sun shone on the light dusting of snow on the ground, prompting Puck to realize that the table and bench would be frosty and not an ideal spot for sitting—especially not for the girl in the little white skirt. In a quick swooping motion, he stopped Rachel from sitting down so that he could take the spot and pull her onto his lap. She laughed in surprise and he watched her breath puff through the crisp winter air. He held her tightly with one arm while he dug around in his coat for the necklace.

In a joking tone and a fake accent (Rachel couldn't determine what he was trying to impersonate), he said, "Rachel Berry, in honor of your 18th birthday, may I present you with this gift?"

The box was wrapped with shiny gold paper with a gold star ribbon. "I don't want to ruin it," she whispered, mesmerized by the lovely and thoughtful gift. He always surprised her by how much he remembered about her. (She realized now that she shouldn't be surprised.)

Puck scoffed. "The paper doesn't mean anything! C'mon, open it!" he urged. He couldn't wait to see her face when she saw it. He really hoped she liked it.

Rachel untied the ribbon and painstakingly peeled the tape from the wrapping paper. She folded the paper neatly, tied the ribbon around it, and placed it in her pocket. Puck wasn't sure whether he was annoyed that she bothered with all of that or kinda touched and proud that even something as simple as the giftwrap was considered worth saving to Rachel Berry. But finally, at the sight of black velvet box, Rachel's eyes widened. This was the moment he was waiting for—his eyes widened as he didn't want to miss her reaction.

"Oh Noah," she said quietly, internally admonishing him for buying something expensive, but not wanting to insult him by speaking her thoughts out loud. It was clearly jewelry—probably a necklace based on the box size. She looked at him, took a deep breath, and lifted the lid.

A beautiful strand of white pearls resting in a bed of satin stared up at her.

Her face lit up, and Puck felt a small sense of pride. He watched as she looked at her wrist to see the bracelet that he had given her. He knew the necklace matched.

"It's perfect! I love it!" _I love you_. She spun on his lap to kiss him.

He held her tightly and kissed her with everything he had. Everything was perfect. The blood rushed south, and he needed her again. So fuckin' bad. He broke from her lips and whispered, "You ready to get out of here?"

She could feel his hardness from her place on his lap. She nodded immediately.

…

They rushed back to his truck, barely able to contain themselves.

Obviously they weren't gonna bone in the public parking lot in broad daylight, but Puck wasn't sure he could wait until they got back to Lima to get his hands on her.

So he didn't wait that long.

He racked his brain, trying to figure out where they could go. It wasn't perfect, but they had passed a gas station with a car wash on the way… A full service wash ought to give them enough time to fool around to hold them over until they get back to her bedroom.

He smirked at his ingenious plan.

Rachel just assumed they were stopping for gas until they pulled into the car wash line and she saw the suggestive expression on his face.

"Ready to get our car-wash-make-out on?"

"What?" she squeaked.

From her reaction, Puck might have been worried that Rachel was too uptight for this, but he knew better. He unfastened both of their seatbelts. "Get over here, you dirty little girl."

Rachel was slightly offended by his comment, but she let it go. He was too persuasive. And gorgeous. And wonderful. And the way he was touching her everywhere was magical. She felt a rush of excitement at the scandalous actions they were performing.

They didn't even wait for the soap to conceal them from the other cars before they slid together for a fierce session of kissing, fondling, and…expressing their appreciation for each other's bodies.

Puck pulled her on top of him—knowing how much she liked to be on top and how uncomfortable his truck could be. He wanted to rip off her clothes, but he knew they couldn't go that far. He had to settle for reaching up her shirt to get to those boobs while they kissed and writhed together. But they still had enough friction going that he was pretty close to coming in his pants.

Rachel moaned and reached down to unzip his jeans. "In…the…way," she explained unnecessarily between kisses as she bounced more easily on his less restricted erection.

Fuck, he wanted to tear those stupid tights and give it to her. Instead, he pulled them down enough to squeeze her ass with one hand and try to tease her clit through her silky underwear. Which was no easy feat as she kept bouncing and shaking—but that made it even better. So fucking hot.

"Noah, oh," she sighed as she shuddered and pushed herself against him.

And that did it. He fucking came in his fucking boxers.

The blare of car horn behind them shook them apart, and a smirking Puck zipped his fly and sped out of the car wash, while an embarrassed but pleased Rachel fastened her seatbelt and smoothed her hair.

…

They basked in the glow of their steamy little session in silence for awhile on the drive back to Lima.

"What an exceptional day of firsts," Rachel sighed with contentment and amusement ringing in her voice.

"Totally," Puck grinned. "So why did you want firsts anyway?" he asked curiously.

"To make it memorable…for both of us. Of course it is memorable for me, but for you…" she trailed off nervously as she expressed her reasons. "I'm sure it's been a long time…and a lot of…girls… Do you even remember who it was? Your first?"

He shifted uncomfortably. He wasn't expecting this. Not today. "What is this? Some kind of truth or dare?"

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to," she said quickly. But she really wanted to know. She wasn't sure why. She just wanted to know everything he'd let her know.

Puck sensed that it would be better just to tell her instead of pleading the Fifth. "It's ok. I'll tell you. Yeah, I remember who she was. But I'm pretty sure the way the first time is for a guy is different from what it's like for you." He scratched at his Mohawk awkwardly. "You said you're sore or something? Maybe you should talk to a girl about this…"

She shook her head. "That's not what I want to know about—you're right, I could talk to another girl about that." She wished she had a mother to ask instead of peers like Quinn, Santana, and Brittany. Rachel continued, but wasn't sure how to express herself. "I'd just like to know…about your life. We've never really _talked _about some things…"

"I take it you wanna hear a story?"

She nodded gratefully.

He sighed. "Ok. I'm not sure if this is the best idea, but here goes. I was like 13. I guess it was a few months before you moved here… See, I spent a lot of time at the Lopez house…"

Rachel inhaled sharply. She had been afraid it was Santana. Of course it was Santana. She dug her nails into her palms, but she didn't interrupt him.

"You probably don't know that Santana was a tomboy all through grade school. She lived near me and Finn."

Rachel was puzzled and Puck noticed.

"Yeah, that was before her dad finished med school. They were kinda poor for a while and lived near my shitty neighborhood around Lima Heights before they _moved on up_ to your side of Lima."

She nodded and indicated that he should go on.

"Around 12-13 is when things started to change. She started getting girlier or whatever. That's around the time we all started caring about being popular and shit like that. She talked about how her sister was doing it with her boyfriend and it made you more grown up or something."

"So you two did it?" she broke in. Then she clapped her hand over her mouth, ashamed that she hadn't let him finish.

"Actually, her older sister Nadia was mad at her boyfriend one day and we were alone with Sarah. Santana stayed after school for something—cheerleading I think, but Sarah and I went over to the Lopez place 'cause Mom had to work. So…yeah, it was Nadia Lopez."

Rachel was shocked. "But she was your babysitter! That's like an abuse of her power over you as an authority figure! I'm so sorry!"

"S'no big deal," he shrugged. "It's not like I really needed a babysitter. It was mostly to have help keeping Sarah from burning the house down and so that we could get a free dinner. Anyway, yes, I remember my first time. Ok? The End," he finished defensively. "First time, last time, this time: sex is good. Why worry about the past? Didn't we have a good time?"

Strangely, Rachel felt a little bit relieved and still felt sorry for Noah. And unfortunately, she couldn't let it go. "Yes, of course…I just…I really feel as though you were taken advantage of; do you think that incident led you to become so promiscuous? Do you think you need to talk to a professional? I have an excellent therapist I could recommend."

"What the hell? I wasn't taken advantage of—Nadia was hot as hell—hotter than Santana was back then—San hadn't gotten boobs yet, but Nadia had a helluva rack. I sure wasn't turning her down. And she was only 16—it's not like some kinda teacher-student sicko thing. I definitely don't need to talk to anyone about that shit…" As he was going on with his rant he realized he'd gone way too far—the boob thing, the hotness thing, the teacher-student thing—he could take his pick. They probably were all too much to say in front of the girl who's just taken her turn on the Puck stick and was all worried and shit.

Rachel was crossing her arms tightly and edging away from him on the seat, pushing herself against the door as close as humanly possible.

"C'mon, Rach, I'm sorry. I'm an idiot. Don't be mad," he pleaded.

She tried not to take his words personally—but they hurt her. She hated feeling this insecure, but she couldn't help it. She'd always known that she couldn't compare to the other girls and women he must have experienced, but whenever they were together, he never made her feel that way. He always made her feel like she was the only girl in the world—and the most beautiful.

But clearly he was good at acting one way and thinking something else.

She spoke haltingly, "I'm not sure how to respond to this…How can I possibly be enough for you after you talk about enjoying sex…with girls with…large _racks_? With the most beautiful girls in school?"

"Because I'm not a superficial prick," he grunted harshly. Then he sighed. "Rach, listen to me. Guys may talk about that shit, and some may even care about it, but it's not…what matters. Not to me. You know that, right?"

She nodded, and answered even as her throat constricted. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to imply that I think poorly of your character. I don't at all. Your record clear shows…a wide variety…of tastes," she said awkwardly. "I'm just feeling, inadequate." She looked down at her chest then she focused on her lap as she avoided his eyes.

_What the fuck_? He had no idea where this was coming from, but he needed to do something fast. "You're sure as hell not inadequate! You're like…whatever the opposite of inadequate is…" He struggled for words. "Fuck, B, you have like the hottest little body ever. You're like my own fucking wet dream! You're so fucking beautiful, don't you know that? How can you not know that?" he asked incredulously.

She blinked the tears from her eyes. "I've been called too many names by too many people…It makes it hard to believe sometimes…"

He was instantly deflated. "Shit, B, I'm sorry, so fuckin' sorry. I never…called you anything bad, right?"

"No, no, you never did—not about my appearance anyway."

_Shit_. He ran a nervous hand through his hair. "I-"

She interrupted him, but even without looking at her, he could hear she was crying now.

"But that's in the past. I'm moving forward. We're moving forward." She sniffled and shook in her seat.

"You're seriously so beautiful…Rachel, please don't cry. Please. I need you to know how beautiful you are."

She tried to answer him. "I-I know it when I'm in your arms. You make me feel that way even when I know that…when I know that I'm not as beautiful as other girls." She had a few girls in particular in mind. She wished her mind would stop picturing him with the most stunning girls she's ever seen in real life. She hiccupped and gasped as she forced herself to stop crying. The other problem was unspoken, but she had a flash of understanding. She wasn't just upset about issues of physical beauty—though she certainly felt insecure about that. She was also scared of the intensity of her feelings for him—and especially the possibility that in spite of their new (amazing) physical relationship, he would never feel the same for her. But she wasn't ready to speak those fears out loud. Not yet. They might not matter anyway. In a few months, high school would be over.

"Rach…" He kept trying to look at her and keep his eyes on the road. Longest drive ever. He couldn't wait to just get back to her house so he could really look at her, hold her, try to make it better.

But that wasn't what happened.

When he parked the truck in her driveway, he saw her dads cars were already there.

_Shit_.

"Wanna stay out here and talk some more?" he asked.

"No, I can't," she said quietly. "They're home early for the birthday dinner we have together every year. They're waiting for me."

_Shit_. "Yeah, ok," he said flatly.

She started to open the passenger door, but he stopped her.

"Hey, hold up a minute." He scooted across the seat to wrap her in his arms. "You can't just leave—not when you're upset like this. We don't have to talk about it, but just…let me try to help." He held her and stroked her hair, hoping like hell that it would calm her down and keep her from feeling like crap—on her _birthday_ for fuck's sake. He really knew how to screw things up—though she was partly to blame for making him talk about losing his virginity. Fuck. Who does that? But he was the idiot who went on like a jackass, so there ya go.

Rachel closed her eyes and let herself melt into his embrace. Even when his words told her to run from him, his actions made it impossible for her to do that. For better or for worse, she knew she was his. He was the one she always came back to; he was the only one who had ever made her feel like she was perfect as is—no changes. Rachel realized that she had jumped to conclusions about how he felt about her compared to other girls. It must have been a legacy from years of teasing along with her "broken love triangles" ending with Finn choosing Quinn, or Santana, or preferring a different version of Rachel Berry that wasn't so…_Rachel_.

But Noah Puckerman wasn't like Finn Hudson. Not at all. And it was a glorious relief. She squeezed him tighter and whispered, "Thank you, this really helps. I'm sorry for getting so emotional about something so silly. I'm ok; I can go now."

"You sure?" He let his hand slide slowly out of her hair and down her back. "We ok now?"

"Yes, I'm positive." Her lips curved into a wavering smile. "I'm ok, and _we_ are ok. I'm sorry-"

"You don't have anything to be sorry about."

"I do! I got so caught up in my insecurities; I put a damper on our time together! And I didn't even thank you for our day together!" she realized, aghast.

"I'm pretty sure you shouldn't thank me for this," Puck said dejectedly. "You probably just want to forget it ever happened."

"What? No!" she cried. He looked surprised, and she lowered her voice to explain. "I just lo—I just care about you so much, with all my heart; and I just want to thank you for this wonderful birthday and for everything else."

Rachel had almost used the 'L-word', but Noah didn't catch her slip. She didn't know if she should say it—especially not in this moment. She certainly was not going to toss it around carelessly the first time she told him.

He felt like such an ass for ruining her birthday, but what else's new? "I'm not sure how this is a wonderful birthday—it has to be like your worst ever!"

"Hardly," she scoffed. Then she looked deeply into his eyes. Dark brown was all he could see. "It's the best birthday I've ever had."

He looked at her skeptically, but he was kind of sad too because it might be true. And he could guess the top reasons why her other birthdays had been nightmares—making this birthday with its crash-and-burn result still her best yet.

"It truly is, Noah," she insisted. "It's the first birthday I spent with you," she said simply. "And it's been one worth remembering."

Suddenly she caught him off guard with a passionate but quick kiss, and then she was pushing open the passenger door.

"Hey, B," he grabbed her elbow and brought her back into cab for a real goodbye kiss. "How 'bout we see if we can make your next birthday even better? So your _19_th birthday will be your best ever."

Her whole face brightened and she beamed at him. "I would love that! I'm going to hold you to that, you know. No matter what," she warned with a smile.

"Then it's another deal," he grinned.

She climbed out of the truck and closed the door. Within seconds the front door opened, and her dads' smiling faces beckoned her in for their family dinner.

Puck gave a lame wave and headed out.

They had been _so close_ to having an amazing day. Most of the day had been killer, and in spite of himself he grinned a little at the images of Rachel in his head.

It was so…weird…to feel happy (and fuck, even optimistic) thinking about being with Rachel, while at the same time feeling like _shit_.

But it must be possible to feel completely different things at the same time; Puck was pretty sure that was the only explanation for the clenching in his chest.

…

**A.N.** No, Puck is not having a heart attack ;) but I hope some of you have had that experience before so you know how it feels. Because it was taking me so long, I divided up this chapter into more pieces than originally intended. I've already written scenes of the Puckerman-Berry Parental Dinner and Rachel's Birthday Party with the glee clubbers, but I still need to work on transitions and things, so I'm giving you this part now. Yay?

Another fyi, Memorial Day weekend (US, starting 5/27) I will have plans. That means this weekend I have preparations and next weekend is pretty much shot. So it's good that I have some of chapter 20 written in advance, and I'll try not to take too long with it!

Hope you'll stick with me to see if Puck can make Rachel's 19th birthday her best ever ;)


	20. Party Down

**Ch. 20 Party Down**

**A.N. **Thanks to** kaelaelameee **for requesting "The Unholy Trinity" and for advice that this long chapter can be an apology for delays between chapters! Thanks to those of you sticking with this story!

This chapter contains a party and flashes from one scene in the party to another, but I hope it doesn't make your head spin!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Glee or anything familiar. This plot was going for my story before the Glee finale with Rachel's conflict between her dreams of stardom and her love of a boy, but some issues may seem familiar. Sorry to remind you of the pain of the finale!

…

After saying goodbye to Noah after their "Day of Firsts" Rachel was ushered into her house by her dads for their traditional daddy-daughter birthday dinner. She was looking forward to the comfort of this dinner tradition, but she also wished she could just spend the rest of tonight with Noah.

That would be…heavenly.

Even with the rocky end to their date, Rachel still counted it as her best birthday ever. She had a hard time properly attending to her fathers as she thought about all of the wonderful moments she'd had (and would hopefully soon commit to her diary). But after the obligatory birthday hugs, settling down to dinner, and the small talk about the events of the day, her dad said something that snapped her to attention.

"Oh!" Marshall Berry exclaimed suddenly. "You'll never guess who called today, Rachel."

Before Rachel could even attempt a guess, Aaron announced the answer. "Jesse St. James."

"He called _here_?" She wondered why he didn't call her cell phone. Did he actually talk to her dads? What did he say? Her questions were soon answered.

"Yes, we assumed he just wanted to wish you a happy birthday," Marshall said.

"Thoughtful boy," Aaron interjected.

"But in addition to that, he called to invite us to stay at his apartment during your NYU audition! Isn't that great?"

"Oh…yes…very thoughtful," Rachel answered nervously. "What did you tell him?"

"We accepted his invitation, of course! We had no idea that the university didn't provide accommodations for the applicants, but it does make sense that all of the housing would be full with students, even if they are on winter break. Why didn't you tell us, sweetie? We should have booked a hotel, but now it's quite late."

"I'm sorry, Daddy. I suppose I was distracted and that detail slipped my mind."

"That's very unlike you," Marshall said with disappointment and worry. "Is everything ok, dear? Is the Puckerman boy distracting you?"

"No Daddy," she lied. "I just had a lot on my mind with exams, Sectionals for glee, and auditions. But now that I'm on Winter Break, I'll be more focused," she vowed.

"Good to hear," commended Aaron.

"But considering that I have a boyfriend," Rachel ventured, "And Jesse is an _ex-boyfriend_…Do you think I could invite Noah to join us? If you approve and it's ok with Jesse?"

Aaron and Marshall exchanged glances. "We'll discuss it."

Rachel knew better than to push further. Instead, she tried to come up with topics that would please her fathers and put them in good moods. So she focused on her audition piece ideas and things to do in New York together during her audition. Once the traditional after-dinner showing of _Funny Girl_ concluded, Rachel easily convinced her dads that she needed to complete some organizational activities in her bedroom to ensure that she won't miss any other important details about her audition and application process.

Finally alone in her room, she called Noah. He seemed surprised by her call and not his usual self—she expected a suggestive and sexy greeting that she didn't get. So after reassuring him that she had a wonderful birthday and thanking him again, she got to the point quickly.

"I've asked my dads if you can come with us to New York for my audition, and they said they'll think about it…" she started off enthusiastic and then became more nervous at her presumption. "I—that is if you will be available…and interested…"

Puck was caught by surprise. "Uh…yeah, I guess I'm interested. But…why? Why would I go?"

Rachel cleared her throat. "We both love New York, right? We all loved it last year for Nationals! Wouldn't you like to have another visit?" she asked, skirting the main reason.

"It's kinda expensive and last minute, but yeah, I know how much _you_ love New York. And yeah, I thought it was cool too. But why are you asking now? What changed?"

She answered honestly. "Well, Jesse talked to my dads while we were ice skating, so they already agreed to his invitation to stay at his apartment," she said quickly. "But maybe you could go too, and then you'd feel better about the whole thing."

"Hold up, B. You really think Jesse would just let you bring me too? Doubt it," he snorted.

"It's worth a try!" she protested. "Then you could be there for my audition like I was for yours!"

"That's different, we were both applying to the same place."

"But you could apply to NYU on the spot maybe!" Her voice got higher as her excitement increased. "Like I did!"

"What do you mean, like you did?"

"Oh!" she exclaimed then flew through the story. "I didn't tell you because I didn't want to take the attention away from you, but while you auditioned at the Cleveland Institute of Music, I did too! I didn't think anything would come of it because I have my heart set on New York, but the experience makes me think that you could do a similar thing! …Of course, it might be more difficult at NYU…and they most likely will not have a lack of applicants attending due to a surprise ice storm…"

"Yeah…probably no way I could audition on the spot, and seriously, Rach, you know where I wanna go and why." He hated letting her down, but that was the reality. He tried to let himself down too—for the briefest moment, he had actually thought about it. And _maybe_ if it weren't for Beth, he'd try for New York… But the idea of leaving Beth was too much—he wasn't gonna do it. Puck's head was spinning—from Beth, to Quinn, and back to Rachel. He felt dazed—and not in that _feel-good-high_ kinda way.

Rachel took several deep breaths as she tried to prevent the sound of crying from reaching through the phone. "Yes, I know. I just got carried away with the thought that maybe you could have the same experience I had with auditioning…that maybe we could go to New York together."

"I need a sec to catch up. I can't believe you didn't tell me you auditioned at CIM," he said in disbelief. "I get why maybe you didn't say anything like right then 'cause you were letting me talk about my audition, but why not later?"

"As I said, I don't plan to go there for school, so it didn't really matter. But we went back to Shelby's to find the power had gone out, remember? There was so much drama, and then it just seemed…insignificant…"

"So you're so set on NYU the way I am on Cleveland, see? You're not willing to go where I'm going, and I can't go where you're going."

"You could if you wanted," she muttered.

"What?" Puck asked, anger rising through his fog.

She cleared her throat. "You say you can't go where I'm going, but that isn't accurate," she said in a formal, clipped voice.

He scoffed. "Really? So what would be accurate?"

"It would be accurate to say that you don't want to go where I'm going," she said as matter-of-factly as she could manage. "It's simple. We are at an impasse, but it's one we already knew about, so there is no reason for either of us to stay upset over our situation. Obviously, I wish—with all my heart—that things could be different," she sighed earnestly.

"Yeah," he mumbled into the phone. "Reality-checks suck."

"But even though sometimes we have these…unpleasant reality-checks, we always agreed to enjoy the time we have together. Right? You still want to…have a relationship, right?"

"Right. Yeah," he started. "Of course, I do. You're my girlfriend, B," he finished sincerely.

Rachel finally let herself exhale and smile. "And you're my boyfriend, Noah. The best boyfriend I've ever had."

He wanted to say, "Really?" but as he was about to say it, he realized that's what a pussy like Finn would say. Instead he put on his smirk to help him sound convincing as he said, "Damn right."

But it got Rachel to giggle, which was awesome. Definitely the right choice, he decided.

"And you'll be on your best boyfriend behavior at dinner with my dads, right?"

"Uh…what?" Puck tried to convince Rachel he'd forgotten the family dinner plans.

It worked for a moment. Rachel started scolding him for forgetting, but realized a few reasons why he wouldn't have forgotten. "Noah Puckerman! Don't you think for one minute that I don't know your mother has been talking about this dinner since we planned it!"

He chuckled. "Yeah, yeah, I didn't forget, B. And Sarah's so excited she's about to piss her pants—hardly stops asking me about you."

She laughed lightly. "I'm surprised she asks about me."

"Guess she likes you. She's a weirdo so don't be flattered or whatever."

"I want your family to like me."

"I'm the only one that matters," Puck told her. "And you know I like you."

She wished he would have said something a little different, but she moved passed it. Awkwardly. "…Thank you. You almost fooled me into thinking you forgot about our dinner. Why do you do that? You're always joking around, aren't you?"

"I just like your reactions. You be crazy! It's hilarious. And you need to laugh a little sometimes too."

She rolled her eyes until his last statement, which made her smile. "I suppose I do need a laugh every now and then. Thank you for noticing," she almost whispered.

"S'no problem," he brushed off the praise and the weight he felt in that moment. "Just repay me with a blow job later."

She huffed in disgust. "You're looking for a reaction again, aren't you?" she asked, amused.

"Reaction now, _action_ later," he clarified. "I can count on you for that bj you owe me, right baby?"

"Goodnight, Noah," she sighed in exasperation but with a smile.

"G'night, Rach."

…

After a day of preparation, the Puckerman-Berry dinner _started_ smoothly…but as dinners at her house tended to deteriorate; it did not end well.

As Marshall served sorbet for dessert, Aaron came up with a question that hadn't already been asked during dinner. "How were your holidays?" he asked Deb Puckerman. "Did Rabbi Goldman do well? We were visiting my mother, so we missed the first night," he explained. "And then of course the kids had their Sectional competition."

"Oh, I forgot to call Beth!" Puck exclaimed.

All eyes turned to him in puzzlement.

"Huh?" Sarah blurted.

"For Hanukkah."

"Why?" she asked what everyone else was too polite to ask.

Puck furrowed his brow. "Wouldn't you want Dad to call you on holidays? If he weren't such a screw up."

Sarah looked torn and gaped at him.

"Noah," Deb started gently. "That's not your role in Beth's life."

Sarah nodded rapidly. "Even I know that! Plus, she's a baby! She doesn't even know who you are! She doesn't care if you call."

Sarah didn't realize how much her words stung her brother.

Puck looked to Rachel, but she turned against him.

"As much as I know you don't want to hear this, I agree with your mother and sister. You'll always be her biological father, but you're not her _Daddy_. Just like Shelby can never be _Mom_ to me but will always be my biological mother."

She reached for his hand, but he jerked it away and stood up from the table.

"Thanks for dinner, but I'm not feeling well."

"Noah!" Rachel exclaimed at the same time as his mom.

Deb looked helplessly between the Berry's and the door her son just walked through, and she sighed. "I'm sorry, but I think we should go after him and have a talk."

"Can I talk to him, Mrs. Puckerman?" Rachel asked.

She shook her head. "No dear, I'll talk to him first."

Sarah looked at Rachel sympathetically—appearing at once innocent and wise-beyond-her-years. "Don't worry. He gets like this sometimes, but he snaps out of it."

Rachel nodded.

Aaron and Marshall stood to gather Deb and Sarah's coats. Deb tried to smile. "We'll have to do this again sometime without the drama."

Rachel tried to smile back. "We'll certainly try."

Deb nodded in understanding. Aaron held out her coat, and spoke, "It must be hard for him to deal with these consequences of his actions. That's understandable. It's a situation beyond what an 18-year-old-boy should be expected do deal with—and would be difficult for anyone at any age."

While she could tell he meant well, Deb bristled at his words. She replied in a tight voice, "We prefer not to think of Beth as an unfortunate _consequence_. She's a _gift_, but she's a gift who belongs to Shelby Corcoran—the woman who gave you your gift in Rachel."

Appalled at how his words were received, Aaron hastily apologized. "Of course, you're right. I just meant that we can understand why this is difficult for your son."

Everyone looked on tensely until Deb accepted the apology. "I suppose we're a bit sensitive, as I'm sure you also understand."

The Berry's nodded and sighed with relief when the last two Puckermans were on the other side of the door.

After they returned to the dinner table in uncomfortable silence, Aaron sighed. "Well, I think that answers your question."

"What question?"Rachel asked.

"Can Noah come to New York for your audition: the answer is_ certainly not_."

"But this has nothing to do with that!"

"He'll be a disruptive presence when you need calm and focus for your auditions," Marshall stated.

"I need to talk to him."

"Rachel, wait!"

But she was already out the door.

…

She rushed to his house, rehearsing what she'd say. Though once she reached the door, she felt she made a mistake. She could hear him yelling inside.

"…Ma, I know you want me to settle down with some nice Jewish girl like Rachel and give you _real_ grandchildren,"

"I never said-"

"But Beth is my real daughter with Quinn, no matter what anyone says! I love her, and nothing will change that…"

"Noah-"

Rachel couldn't take any more. The lump in her throat wouldn't go away.

This obviously was a bad time for company, she reasoned with all the composure she could muster.

But that logic did nothing to halt the flood of emotions. She was sobbing openly and had to calm down in her car before she was fit to drive. As she breathed deeply, she knew that he didn't _say_ he didn't want to be with her or that he'd rather be with Quinn and Beth.

It just…sounded that way.

…

After sitting through a lecture from her dads, that night Rachel tried to reach Noah, but he never answered.

She was miserable.

She wasn't going to make it worse by reading Shelby's birthday email. Let the woman wait and wonder the way she made her daughter do all of these years.

In that thought, Rachel realized something about Noah. He must know that she's seen Shelby as "the bad guy" and he obviously doesn't want to be that with Beth. Now she just needed him to let her to explain that she didn't feel that way about Shelby until she came into her life only to leave immediately. Before that, her mother was just a dream of a woman who did something good for her fathers and had an arrangement that prevented her from contacting her daughter.

She typed out her feelings in several text messages to Noah before finally giving in to her curiosity to read Shelby's email.

_Dear Rachel,_

_First: Happy 18__th__ Birthday! I have been anxiously waiting for the day you would turn 18 and the contract I signed agreeing not to contact you expired. This day marks the first day when we can officially open the doors of communication. To be honest, I've thought about what to say to you ever since the day you were born—actually even before that. I was going to write about who I am, what my life was like back then, and what led to my decision to be a surrogate. I was going to write about (the highlights of) what took place between the time I said goodbye to you in the hospital to the day I sent this message. _

_But now some of what I had planned to say has been negated by my ill-considered actions to learn more about you after I encountered you in show choir competitions. Even those actions perhaps would have been forgivable if it were not for my next poor decision to run from the situation._

_I owe you explanations, if you're open to hearing them._

_I would love to try to repair the damage I have done, and I'm ready now to give you as much or as little contact as you prefer. The decision is yours. I will understand if you want to have nothing more to do with me. I will respect your wishes. But my hope is that you will open your heart one more time to me._

_I will wait for your reply. I recall that you will be auditioning at NYU, so I'll send my virtual "break a leg" to you now. I know you will wow the selection committee. Because New York is your dream and I am living my humble life in Cleveland, perhaps it is a blessing that our contact (if you choose to have some) will be of the long-distance variety. However, if you ever want to visit (perhaps when you visit Noah Puckerman, assuming that his plans remain the same and you two remain in contact), then you are always welcome at my house. _

_And even when I tried to deny it to myself, you are always in my heart._

_With love, apologies, and hope,_

_Shelby _

Tearful and emotionally exhausted, Rachel wrote several email drafts to Shelby that she didn't send before falling asleep.

…

The next morning, Rachel was disappointed to see no new messages on her phone, but her fathers were insistent that she get up and help with the preparations for her birthday party. She couldn't deal with Shelby's email—not that she really wanted to get into that today.

All day was filled with party preparations, and her dads were so excited that they were chaperoning a party for her with _friends_.

"Isn't it nice that you're able to celebrate with your friends before you all go your separate ways?" Marshall asked.

"Yes, Daddy, Dad, thank you so much for having this party."

"Are you ok, sweetie?"

"Just a little emotional—high school nostalgia," Rachel replied as she blinked away her tears. "Though perhaps that's not the correct word, as this is not only the last but also the _first_ birthday party with my high school peers."

"They'll be eating your stardust soon," Aaron quipped to cheer her up. "You're Broadway Bound!" He did a little tap dance with an imaginary hat and cane. "Right, honey?"

She smiled. "Right, Dad."

"Let's keep Puttin' on the Ritz!" Marshall joked as he gestured for help hanging streamers.

The decorations were a bit juvenile for an 18th birthday, but she didn't have the heart to tell her dads. And honestly, the silver and gold streamers and stars looked beautiful to her—even if they weren't age-appropriate. She got them to reign in their decorating fever on some of the major decisions (like the giant gold star with her smiling face printed on it _not_ hanging in the middle of the ceiling like they wanted).

She was an emotional wreck for so many reasons, and with no contact from Noah, Rachel could barely keep from crying.

But it wasn't long before it was show time. Rachel put on her game face to play the perfect hostess. She had specified that no gifts would be accepted for her birthday—that way she couldn't feel bad when nobody bought her anything. This was her birthday strategy since the fiasco she had when she first moved here in middle school.

Artie was the first to arrive so that he could get down to the basement before anyone else saw what he had to go through to get there. The senior members of the glee club arrived mostly in pairs after that. But someone was noticeably absent.

Sam and Quinn came down the stairs hand in hand. "Happy birthday, Rachel," Sam greeted as he swooped her into a hug she wasn't expecting.

"Oh!" she exhaled as he squeezed. "Thank you, Sam."

Quinn smiled politely, but her eyes narrowed a bit suspiciously during the hug.

As Sam released Rachel he asked, "Where's Puck? I've got a question for him."

"I swear we saw Puck when we came in," Mercedes said, looking around the basement. "He must be here somewhere. Maybe he's gonna surprise you!" she smiled.

Rachel attempted a smile back. "Maybe… I hope you won't forget your question before you locate him," she smiled lamely at Sam.

"I won't," he assured her.

Quinn looked at him quizzically. What question did he have for Puck?

Rachel turned to her latest arrivals. "Thank you for coming. Tina, Mike, please have some refreshments. Fortunately or unfortunately, depending on your preference, the beverages are non-alcoholic."

…

Puck had gotten to Rachel's around the same time everyone else did. He waved to Mercedes and acted like he'd follow her. He just couldn't bring himself to go inside. He wanted to do something to make things right—but he didn't know what to do. He knew he should've called her, messaged her, something, but he wasn't ready. If he had, he would've sounded like a pansy-ass bitch with his whole "why didn't you take my side?" thing. He knew it was stupid, but he couldn't help how he felt. He didn't know why he expected that she'd instantly take his side. Yeah, they'd been _something _for a while now, but they only just started actually dating or whatever. He just…really wished she would've been on his side.

He headed back to his truck to think things through so he wouldn't be caught here with nothing to say—because seriously, how had things gotten so messed up? How had he gotten here?

From trying like a fool to be friends with Finn—even helping him get together with Rachel—and trying like hell to win Quinn back—to this. He hated being so…emotional over this kinda shit. It's not like they didn't start out knowing that she was going to New York and he wasn't. They pretty much did. Hell, he didn't even get into it for a girlfriend at all, he thought with chagrin. Remember the good ol' days of that handy contract so he could just fuck her and not get all caught up in…feelings and shit?

But was that really better?

Yes.

No. Hell, he didn't know. He suspected that no matter how much he tried to keep his distance, he'd always come back to Rachel Berry.

What the fuck for, he honestly didn't know, but it didn't seem like he was the only one with that problem. Just look at Finn Hudson—that stupid fuck. Had the most popular girl in school as his girlfriend, but he kept going back to Rachel. Of course, Puck had picked Rachel over Quinn too, but that was different. Quinn never gave him the time of day. Still, Puck knew that he had something with Rachel that he'd never felt with Quinn, so he'd probably do the same thing if he'd been in Finn's shoes. Quinn was…cold, closed…and perfect. Rachel was crazy as fuck and sure as hell wasn't perfect, but she was open—a guy could figure out where he stood pretty easily (if he wasn't a fuck-up like he and Finn both were). Rachel put herself out there, and she didn't put a guy down and make him feel like shit (on purpose) the way Quinn did. So the choice made a lot of sense. Then there was Santana who Finn ended up basically picking over Rachel. That was probably for the sex, so it was hard to fault Finn for that. Puck had put in a lot of hard work to get Rachel primed. But it takes a lot to put up with Lopez too. That chick's mostly into bossing guys around and putting 'em down—kinda like Quinn. Finn obviously needed to be pussy-whipped, but even a pushover like Finn can get tired of being run over. Rachel could be a handful but she was…amazing at making a guy actually feel like he was worth a damn. Any guy with half a brain and a dick would be on that if they could actually get through her crazy. Hell, Finn was probably moving in on Rachel now!

In a blind panic, Puck doubled back up her street and into her house. He flew down the stairs to the basement. Sure enough, there was Finn, hugging Rachel!

Puck was about to break it up and give Finn a piece of his mind (and fist) when the hug was over, and bizarrely Rachel was now hugging Santana.

As soon as the hotness of that moment ended, Puck turned to go back up the stairs. He knew he wasn't ready to talk to anyone yet.

On one hand, he wished for the days when he could just grab a girl and work out his frustrations by stuffing her good. The girl in question was usually Santana, who was almost always down for a fuck as long as he gave her stuff in return every now and then—like jewelry—or a cheeseburger. That was pretty awesome—except that Santana was an uber bitch—and that whenever they did three-ways, San seemed more into Brittany. Kinda an ego blow, but it was still hot.

On the other hand, a tiny part of him knew that he'd always felt…_empty_ then, and now with Rachel he felt…not empty. But when they fought, it sucked—he felt like the biggest piece of shit on the planet. And there was the other thing…the whole leaving for college at the end of the year.

He knew it would be hell.

But he didn't want to hold her back. She was a fuckin' star and he was a Lima Loser. He hoped to make something of himself too, but New York was too big a step—he needed to start out smaller. "A reachable goal" as Rachel would say. He wanted to make something of himself for Beth. And he didn't want to miss any more of her growing up than he had to—she was beautiful and she came from him. The pull he felt toward Beth was so strong—it was the unbreakable bond between a father and his daughter, he supposed. He didn't want Beth to think of him as a schmuck, or worse, to not think of him at all. Not when he could actually do something about that.

Still, he didn't want to ruin Rachel's birthday _again_! For fuck's sake. Even if he wasn't changing his mind about Cleveland, he should at least apologize for being his usual jackass self. But if he'd learned anything from his brief experiences in dating, it was that "I'm sorry" should come with a gift. So he headed out to get one—fast.

…

"No stomping please!" Rachel called out to an unidentified rude guest she heard from across the room.

"Want me to go after 'em, Rach?" Finn asked.

She declined his offer. For a while, there was an awkward five-some of Finn and Santana, Sam and Quinn, and…Rachel chatting together. After Finn told Rachel that she looked really pretty, he got the evil eye from Santana so he waved to Rachel as he guided his girlfriend to the punch bowl. With the party at the 'small talk' stage, Quinn struggled to come up with something to say to Rachel. "So…how are college applications coming for you? Had any auditions?"

Rachel smiled and nodded. "Thank you for asking, Quinn. Applications are all sent. I've only auditioned at Case Western and Cleveland Institute of music, but those went well. I'm set on NYU, and I'll go there in January. How about you two?" she addressed Sam and Quinn. "Are you set on OSU?"

"Yes," Quinn said at the same time Sam said, "No."

Quinn turned to him. "What?"

"You remember I'm dyslexic, right? School is really hard for me. But music…that comes naturally. So I'm still looking at the options. I thought you knew that."

Quinn was mortified. She thought they had everything figured out together already. "Perhaps we should discuss our future college plans together privately. I assumed that finances were still a problem, so a state university seemed-"

Sam turned red. "This is kinda embarrassing," he muttered.

"Which part?" Brittany asked. "The smarts part or the money part?"

Sam looked down, and Mercedes stepped up. "So Brittany, what are your plans after high school?"

"I'm going to Juilliard," she said simply.

"What?" came the baffled cries of everyone who overheard.

"Juilliard, the top school in the world for performing arts?" Kurt clarified.

Brittany looked around in surprise. "Well, yeah. I'm a fantastic dancer, and they don't really care about test scores and grades."

"They don't?" asked Sam in awe.

"Nope," Brittany said with pride.

"She's right," Rachel confirmed, secretly wondering if she could still audition there—if Brittany could get in, then maybe she had a shot too. "Brittany, have you already auditioned there?"

"I'm going to audition over Christmas break. I applied to other places too—as backups. I know that a lot of my friends from McKinley wouldn't make it in New York," she said without a trace of snobbery. She just stated it like the fact that it was. Rachel was a little jealous, knowing that when she makes such statements she gets blasted for it, but nobody hated Brittany for telling the truth the way they hated Rachel.

Artie looked more stunned at this revelation than anyone. "Brit, you know I can't go to Juilliard."

"Yeah…I know. Well, I didn't _know_, but I thought so. You can't dance like I can because I have these killer legs." She demonstrated with a beautiful pirouette.

"Brittany, I," Artie started. "I can't believe how insensitive you can be!"

Brittany's face fell and her eyes filled with tears. Artie was still upset too, though seeing Brittany start to cry was making him feel worse. "We need to talk," he said gently, but she just shook her head no.

"I'll talk to her," Santana announced. "Brit, let's go upstairs." Then she spotted Mike and Tina making out. "You two, go talk to Artie," she commanded. Tina looked at her dismissively. _What the fuck? What happened to the fear, the respect? _ "Now!" she bellowed, and both Tina and Mike scrambled over to Artie.

Santana grinned as she held Brittany's hand and walked upstairs.

Quinn pulled Sam aside. "I think we should talk too." He nodded and they headed upstairs.

Lauren shook her head and walked over to Rachel. "It's been real, but I've gotta jet."

"Oh really, why do you have to leave so soon?"

Lauren sighed. "I can't deal with Puckerman sweeping in with some romantic gesture and watching you two make out all night." She looked down at the floor. "I just can't."

Rachel grabbed her hand desperately. "Lauren, please stay. I don't think you have to worry about that particular scenario. Noah and I…are kind of in a fight," she admitted openly. "And I could use advice from someone who knows him. Santana's upstairs with Brittany. Quinn's upstairs with Sam. You're his next longest girlfriend. Please talk to me?"

Lauren looked at Rachel's teary eyes. She almost felt bad for the perfect little thing. Almost. "Look, Berry, I'm sure you two will be fine. He and I were just…friends with benefits I guess. You're both obviously head-over-heels for each other."

"W-What?" Rachel's eyes widened. "Friends with benefits?" It sounded startlingly similar to how her situation started.

Lauren shook her head in disgust—at herself. "Yeah, I was living in a fantasy to think it could last. I can't believe I didn't see it before! Gah, he's ruined me for anyone else, you know?"

Rachel nodded, but wanted to get back to the important part. "What makes you think we're head-over-heels?"

She scoffed. "He talked about you—all the time. At least way more than a guy should to his so-called girlfriend. How great you were in whatever performance, how he tried to help you stay together with Finn, how crappy Finn was to you, on and on. He'd talk about Quinn and Beth too. I figured he was just trying to talk about people we both knew and like opening up to me or whatever. It was endearing I guess. He's so freakin' charming."

"Yes, he really is. He makes it hard to stay mad at him."

"I know, right?" Lauren agreed with a smirk.

"But what makes you think now that the way he talked about me was more than just friendly small talk for you two?" Rachel asked, dying to know.

"Because you and Quinn were the only ones he really talked about like that. He knew Santana and I had our beefs, so maybe that's why he didn't bring her up, but why talk about ex-girlfriends with your current girlfriend? Nobody would do that! He must have thought of me as only a friend—except for the whole groping and hot make-out parts."

Rachel wrinkled her nose in spite of herself, but tried to recover quickly so she didn't offend Lauren.

It was too late. "Yeah, I know. The thought of us as a couple is ridiculous and disgusting to everyone," she spat. "You may be a mousy little thing," she said in her best bitch-voice, "but you're perfect for him—like Barbie and Ken—Jew style."

Rachel gaped at her, simultaneously offended and pleased by Lauren's assessment. Then she remembered what got the girl so upset in the first place to lash out. "Lauren, please don't take offense. It's not personal. It just upsets me to think of anyone else with Noah. …That's even one of the things we had a small fight about…If you and I could just talk…"

Lauren softened, but she was still upset…about everything. "Seriously, I gotta get outta here. Sorry. Next time I see Puckerman, I'm gonna punch him. And if I stay here too long, I'm afraid I'm gonna punch you in your pretty little face."

Rachel was shocked again, but reclaimed her role as birthday hostess. "I won't keep you, Lauren. Thanks for coming!" she said loudly and cheerfully for everyone to hear.

Lauren rolled her eyes and trudged out.

Kurt rushed to Rachel's side. "What. Was. That?"

…

Santana led Brittany to Rachel's room and closed the door. She gave her a friendly hug. "Hey, it's ok. Don't worry about what Artie thinks."

Brittany wiped her eyes. "I don't know why I care so much about what he says, but I always do. Do you think I did something wrong?"

"Well…you applied to Juilliard without telling anyone?"

"I just told everyone."

"Right, I guess you did," Santana couldn't help but smile. "Then no, I don't think you did anything wrong," she assured her. Brittany smiled beautifully. Santana continued, so proud for causing that smile, "And guess what!"

"What?"

"I applied to NYU and Columbia!" she squealed joyfully, grabbing Brittany's hands and jumping up and down.

Brittany smiled and jumped with her. "What does that mean?"

Santana stopped jumping. "It means that we'll both get the hell out of this cow town and live in New York City." She released Brittany's hands, but grazed her arms with her fingertips, brushing back her blond locks so she could rest her hands on her shoulders. She took a step closer and gazed into her clear blue eyes. "It means that we could both leave everyone behind."

"Not everyone," Brittany pointed out. "Mike Chang applied too. Plus Rachel's going to New York. And Kurt, Blaine, maybe Tina. Probably more…"

Santana stepped back and dismissed all that with a wave. "The important thing is: once we get outta here, we can be together. Wouldn't that be great?"

Brittany smiled softly. "Yeah. Best friends together in New York. Maybe Artie will come too?"

"Forget about Artie, will you?" Santana groaned in frustration.

"No."

"Just for a few minutes, here, please?" she pleaded. "So we can be together?"

"Ok…"

Just as Santana was going in for some sweet lady kisses, she heard a weird whining sound coming from the closet.

She put her finger to her lips to tell Brittany to be quiet and motioned for her to follow. They tiptoed to the closet together and pulled open the door swiftly.

"Gotcha!"

Santana was expecting—she didn't know what, but she didn't expect to see Jewfro huddled among Berry's shoes.

Gross.

Brittany freaked, or acted fast, and kicked him in the gut.

"Nice, Brit!" Santana praised as she sprung into action herself, grabbing the sheet from the bed and using it as a make-shift rope. He didn't really fight the two girls maneuvering him out of the closet and into the chair. He hardly moved when they tied him to the chair with the sheet-rope. Maybe he was shocked too.

"So Brittany, what should we do to torture this spy?" Santana asked with a wicked grin.

Brittany shrugged. "I don't know. I wish Lord Tubbington was here. He'd know what to do. Of course, he'd probably keep it to himself like he always does," she huffed.

Santana rolled her eyes and stepped closer to Jacob. "What do you think?"

Jacob quivered with fear—and a little arousal. "Well," he started shakily. "The way you're staring at me is kind of like torture."

Santana smiled wider.

But he went too far when he suggested that he was very scared of naked breasts.

Brittany brightened. "Ooh, we have breasts!" She started to tug at her shirt.

Jacob licked his lips and couldn't believe his luck. But then Santana managed to simultaneously hold down Brittany's top and give him the hardest slap across the face he'd ever felt.

"How 'bout we start with some bitch slapping for the little bitch?" Santana asked.

He shook his head. "N-No,…I don't think…"

"I wasn't asking you," she said before slapping him again, even harder.

Tears sprung to his eyes and he couldn't hold back a yelp.

"Wanna try, Brit? It's really fun."

"Sure! Thanks!"

Just after Brittany back-handed their prisoner, the bedroom door opened.

"What the hell is going on in here?" asked Sam. Quinn was right behind him, apologizing for what she thought Sam was interrupting. Quinn was shocked to find that it wasn't just Brittany and Santana getting freaky—but that blog rat was all tied up and didn't seem happy about it. It only took a moment for Quinn to put it all together. Her girls must have caught that weasel spying just like he said he would on his site. And even though Rachel's not her favorite person, Quinn wasn't going to let this little bastard get away with being gross and creepy around her!

Sam realized what was going on by now too. "We should probably call the cops," Sam said.

"No, please!" Jacob begged.

"We could just tell the Berry's," Quinn suggested. "Then they can decide. Don't they have a restraining order against him?"

"Rachel's dads are home?" Jacob squeaked.

"That's right," Quinn said in a deliciously evil tone. "The only reason we're all here is because the Berry's are supervising the party." She paced slowly back and forth in front of the trembling boy. "So your fate is in our hands…"

Sam was going to have to adjust himself—his girl was so hot.

Santana smiled. She knew they'd still have their backstabbing ways and battle for senior prom queen, but when it came down to it, she and Quinn were friends. She and Brittany were best friends (and more), but Quinn was her next closest girl friend, and they had been practically inseparable ever since middle school when they joined forces to rule the school and terrorize the losers. Even when Quinn thought she was a hot-shit Queen Bee and made life practically insufferable, Santana thought Q was a thousand times worse when she turned all emo like she'd been lately. So to see Quinn with her bitch fire lit up again? Priceless.

Jacob could feel his privates shrinking with his fear. The three girls in front of him were so hot—but right now they were even more frightening.

…

As she was leaving, Lauren was surprised to see a lone figure on Berry's porch swing. "Oh, it's you," she said before promptly sucker-punching him in the shoulder.

"Damn, Zizes, what was that for?" Puck asked as he rubbed the spot that was sure to bruise later.

"That's for ruining my life."

"Uh, what? Here, wanna talk?" He moved the roses that had been sitting on the swing next to him so she could sit.

Lauren looked at the perfect pink roses. It figured. She knew she was right about him coming in with some romantic gesture. But she started to have a seat anyway—until the swing creaked dangerously. She bolted up in frustration. "See! We can't even do things normal couples do!"

Puck was dumbfounded. "You broke up with me, remember? I thought we were cool."

She sighed. "Yeah, we're cool. I'm just pissed at you for making me believe we were ever real."

"We were real!"

She regarded him skeptically.

"You saved me that day! And then you were such a badass, I was hooked."

"Came for the attitude, stayed for the knockers?" she asked with amusement. Boy was too damn charming.

"Yeah, something like that. _You_ called it off, so I don't know how _I_ ruined your life. You called me a sad sack of man or something."

"I did, didn't I?" she grinned. "Sorry about that. I can be a real bitch, can't I?"

"Uh, yeah," he said cautiously. "Why did you…?" He couldn't finish without sounding like a sad sack.

Lauren didn't make him say it. "I was so mean because it was the only way I thought I could get through it. I was hurt too."

He looked at her incredulously.

She explained, "I broke it off because we were just friends. I could tell there was no romantic spark there for you. You were still pining over someone else."

He started to protest, but she stopped him. "I could tell," she said. "But I didn't realize how jacked up the whole thing was. You were pretty much in love with Quinn or Rachel or both, I don't know. But I just figured out why you went for me. It just dawned on me. They were taken. You were hurt, rejected. And who was the complete opposite of both Malibu Barbie _and_ Jewish Princess Barbie? Me. The heavy-weight wrestler girl."

"Lauren…" he started, but he didn't really know what to say.

"It's ok, I get it. You've just ruined the chance that I could ever be happy with another guy who'll actually fall in love with me. I'll always compare him back to you."

Puck shook his head. "No way. You'll find the right guy and won't even remember me. He'll make you so happy, you won't care about anything else."

Lauren smiled and blushed at his words, but then raised her eyebrow. "Damn, you got it bad for Berry, don't you? I knew I was right!"

"What? No. I'm just trying to help you. That's what friends do."

She nodded. "Thanks, Puckerman. You did help. That was actually a really sweet thing to say. Now I'm gonna help you. There's a girl in there—it's her birthday party. She's pretty down because the guy she loves isn't inside with her."

"I-"

"No. Whatever is wrong, you two will get over it. Bring her those pink roses, give her a birthday kiss, and go from there. I'm sure you'll know what to do."

"It's not that simple."

"Sac up, Puckerman," she barked.

But it was the coaching he needed. He smirked a little. "Thanks, Lauren."

"Anytime, Puckerman."

Puck leaned against the porch railing as he watched to make sure she got to her car safely. She drove off and blinked her lights goodbye in the dark. Puck decided he needed just a little more time to think about what to say…to do. Could she be right? Had he gone after Lauren because she was basically the opposite of both Quinn and Rachel?

Fuck.

…

At Kurt's insistence, Rachel needlessly explained that she was only talking to Lauren, but she had to leave.

Kurt rolled his eyes. "Fine, don't tell me the details. But answer this. Why am I seeing you with Lauren and not your boyfriend? Where is the Mohawked-wonder anyway?" He looked around.

As Rachel was about to answer, Blaine breezed over and announced that he was going to check out the karaoke selections. "I can count on you for a duet, right Kurt?"

"Of course."

"You too, Rachel? Will the birthday girl grace me with her presence on stage?" Blaine asked gallantly.

She gave a small smile. "Of course I will, Blaine, thank you for asking."

"As long as there's no kissing!" Kurt exclaimed, only half joking.

But Blaine and Rachel laughed good-naturedly.

"Oh, Kurt," Blaine smiled and rolled his eyes. "You know we'll never live that down, don't you?" he asked Rachel rhetorically before heading across the room to pick out songs.

Rachel was about to take the opportunity to escape when Kurt tugged on her sleeve and whispered. "I was expecting to see the consummated couple all lovey-dovey. What happened? Did something go wrong? Was it awful?" He finished with a grimace.

"Was what awful? Dinner last night?"

Kurt shook his head and looked at her dismissively. "Of course not. I'm talking about the S-E-X."

Rachel blushed and shook her head vigorously. "No! That wasn't awful at all!" she protested loudly. Then she quietly said, "But we did have a fight during dinner with our families."

"No! Shut up!" Kurt exclaimed.

"It's true," she replied sadly. She described the evening to a wide-eyed Kurt.

She finished by saying, "He hasn't been responding to my attempts to contact him. I don't even know if he's coming tonight!" she wailed.

"There's no good reason for a boyfriend to give his girlfriend silent treatment."

"Maybe he wants to break up!"she cried out at the realization.

"Then he should be a man and do it!"

"Kurt!"

"What? He should! Aren't you allowed to have your own opinion?"

"Yes, of course. But I think he felt like I betrayed him by expressing my opinion when he already had everyone else against him…" Rachel said, realizing it for the first time.

Kurt didn't think much of this idea. "Puh-lease. It's not like you're his wife in the 1950s! We're past the days of women should be seen and not heard and should only agree with their man! It's outrageous, Rachel, really. You're better off without him!"

"Kurt, don't say that!" she pleaded. "I don't want to be without him! I'm sure this is just a misunderstanding, and I can reason with him to prevent such things from happening again."

Kurt looked at her skeptically. "I'm afraid for you, hon. You sound like one of those women on talk shows defending their abusive husbands."

"It's not like that at all!" she protested. "Really!"

"You're always letting everyone walk all over you, Rachel! Finn, my dear stepbrother, I love him, but you just kept rolling over and playing dead for him. Don't even get me started on Jesse St. Jerkface, and of course there's the legendary Quinn Fabray and the dumpfest she dishes out that you keep taking!"

"Ok, ok," Rachel tried to shut him up.

Kurt didn't stop. "But you never seemed to take any crap from Puck. That was something good about you two, I thought. If you turn into a doormat for him…I don't even know! I'm so mad for you, I'm shaking!" Kurt held up the proof in his trembling hands.

"I'm sorry you're so upset about my personal life, Kurt, but it's not necessary. I am not a doormat and will not be treated as such by anyone!" she finished indignantly.

"Glad to hear it," he said in a tone that sounded sarcastic but was actually sincere. "Let's get some outside opinions, ok? Let's bring Blaine into it—he won't turn the gossip mill at McKinley."

Rachel nodded reluctantly. "Fine…Blaine seems like a reasonable party—even though he may be biased to agree with you, Kurt, just like perhaps I should have agreed with Noah or said nothing at all at dinner," she said pointedly.

Kurt rolled his eyes. "Blaine! Get your cute little ass over here!" he called across the room.

Blaine grinned sheepishly, excused himself from his conversation with Mercedes, and brought his cute little ass over to Kurt and Rachel. "You bellowed?" he asked playfully.

"Let's call it beckoning loudly and urgently," Kurt replied with a smile playing on his lips.

"Urgently?" he repeated with a suggestive wiggle of his eyebrows. "I like the sound of that!"

Kurt laughed as Blaine grabbed him for a little inappropriate dancing, but stopped him. "It's actually a serious matter…about Rachel."

"Oh, I see," Blaine said and immediately his face became solemn. "Sorry about that, Rachel. What seems to be the problem?"

Rachel and Kurt took turns (sort of) telling Blaine what happened and asking him for his opinion.

Blaine leaned back thoughtfully. "Well, Rachel, it's clear that you care about him very much."

She nodded emphatically. "I do."

Blaine continued. "And he seems to have extreme capacity for emotion and love."

Rachel's eyes widened, and she leaned closer to Blaine for his assessment. Kurt grimaced as Blaine said, "I'm sure he cares about you too, Rachel, and that's why he's so hurt. I think you're right that with communication, you two can potentially work this out." Then Blaine looked at Kurt. "But Kurt's also right that you should be careful. I agree that you should think twice before getting too deeply involved with someone who is so volatile. He clearly has a lot of issues to deal with already. You might be better off with someone who can control his emotions and be a more stable partner."

Rachel nodded dejectedly, and Kurt happily gave Blaine a hug and a kiss on the lips. As she watched, she piped up, "Doesn't it feel nice when your boyfriend supports you over someone else? Can you imagine how I made Noah feel?"

Kurt shrugged dismissively but then nodded. "Yes, ok, I get it."

"Just be careful," Blaine added. "It doesn't seem wise to pursue such a precarious relationship that's destined to end in separation. He doesn't seem like the type who could tolerate a long-distance relationship well. I wasn't just saying that to agree with Kurt. I really mean it."

"_We_ really mean it," Kurt emphasized. "With all the crazy you've got going on," he gestured wildly, "you need some stability! We care about that little heart of yours, Rachel Berry."

She flashed a pained half-smile, thanked them both, and decided to find Noah.

She left the basement party and put on a winter coat. She was startled to see a figure leaning against her front porch railing, the cold air making his breath puff like smoke. Or was that _actually cigarette_ _smoke_? Fury rose at the thought of one of her teammates smoking at her party—they needed to preserve their vocal cords for Regionals! She opened her door again and turned on the porch light to identify the offender, ready to give him a stern lecture. But when the light illuminated the figure and he winced, she gasped at his face.

"Noah?"

…

**A.N.** To be clear, this will NOT turn into a fic about a violent!Puck and abused!Rachel. It is, however, about how these two deal with life and their emotions—sometimes immaturely, sometimes maturely. I don't condone teen violence, drinking, smoking, sex, etc. But to everyone who thought Jacob got off too easily, I gave you a little more torture in a fun setting—haha! A few of you liked Santana's involvement in Jacob's punishment, so you got a little more from her ;)

Though I won't have new eps of Glee to distract/anger/inspire me, my summer will be busy enough to update about every 2 weeks instead of 1/ week, but it seems everyone has plenty to keep them busy and entertained.

Keep sending me your suggestions and I'll try to work them into the story! And please let me know what you think!

**Reminder:** The poll about Quinn will close June 4!

**Disclaimer2/Contest:** The title **Party Down** comes from a sitcom once starring a glee cast member—guesses who? First correct gets a prize!


	21. On Your Porch

**Ch. 21 On Your Porch**

**A.N.** Congrats to **ClassicArtsLover** for being the first to review and have the correct answer to my contest question (Jane Lynch)! Out of the prizes, CAL chose a story spoiler ;) **Aleana** and **SkyeDrgn** were also correct, but the reviews came later so they get 'honorable mentions'.

The Quinn poll is closed and a new poll is posted in my profile about story possibilities (inspired by **Maiqu**), so please check that out through the rest of June and into July.

This chapter continues with the format from last chapter with flashes from one scene to another at Rachel's party. **Notice:** Smut included toward end.

Shout out to **acaudill0068** for our ego conversations! Also, a dedication to super Fuinn Fan Friend **kaelaelameee** (you know why).

Featured songs can be found in my profile or by adding the youtube address to the following:

/user/novice242#grid/user/6176D1E728E7C3DE

There's also a link in my profile to a picture of magnetic fields, which are symbolic for part of this chapter (and Puck/Rachel in general to me).

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Glee, songs, or anything familiar.

…

"You're here…" Rachel said in amazement. Her flash of joy at seeing Noah on her porch was replaced by her anger and shock. "And you're smoking?"

_Shit_. Puck put out the cigarette. This was not how he'd planned for Rachel to see him at her birthday party. He was at a loss for what to say, but that was ok for the moment because Rachel was going on and on irately about the dangers of smoking.

"…Even though you're 18 and there are no legal ramifications if you purchase cigarettes, there are other important considerations! You are an integral part of a singing club on the brink of a competition! How can you endanger the team chances? Not to mention your health! What about those of us who don't want you to die of lung cancer?" she shouted frantically. "It's terrible for you! How long have you been smoking? I've been worried sick about you, and you're here—smoking? I didn't know you smoke! How could I not know you smoke?"

"I don't smoke." He put his hands up in surrender and tried to calm her down. It didn't work.

"Noah! I _saw_ you smoking!"

"I mean, I don't really smoke like as a _habit_. I just needed…something…to take the edge off…something more than just dip."

"Dip? Like the chips and dip in the basement? Were you downstairs already?"

"Yeah, I was downstairs, kinda. But you know I'm not talking about chips and dip," he said—until he saw her blank look and realized that maybe she didn't. "Wait, you do know that dip is tobacco, right?"

"What?" she squeaked. "When you say you're buying _dip_ at 7-11 you mean _chewing tobacco_? Gross! I'm so…I can't even… I'm going to punch you now!" She huffed in frustration—right before she balled up her fists and pummeled his chest.

Puck stared at her and burst out laughing. "That might've worked better if you didn't tell me you were going to punch me in advance."

Her shoulders drooped and she looked up at him with teary eyes.

"Aw, hey," he wrapped his arms around her. "Come to think of it, I was still shocked when you started hitting me," he chuckled. "That might have been the biggest shock." The whole situation was really unexpected actually.

"I'm not upset about your critique of my physical attack, Noah!" she flared again. "Not that I should attack you! That's so unlike me! I'm just so…" She pulled out of his arms before collapsing into a sobbing speech. "I'm upset because you're smoking! I'm upset because you haven't returned my calls! I'm upset because you haven't been with me for my party! I'm upset because I'm afraid you want to break up with me!" There, she said it. She looked at him with naked fear. She wanted him to deny it—or get it over with quickly and just 'man up and break up' as Kurt had said. She braced herself and closed her eyes.

"Rachel, I don't want to break up with you," he said quietly. "Though I have no idea why you don't want to break up with me."

Her eyes flew open. "Why would I break up with you?" she asked incredulously. "You're the one who's not talking to me."

"That's a good reason why you'd want to break up with me. I'm an ass. Besides, you should know I never break up with a girl. I'm always the one who gets dumped," he muttered pointedly.

She gaped at him in disbelief before realizing it must be true. He had such a reputation. But when it came down to it, when he actually dated a girl, he wasn't the one who ended it. She remembered that day…on the bleachers. He was a jerk, but she had been blinded by Finn Hudson for so long that she hadn't seen…hadn't realized… "Noah, I'm sorry."

"What? _You're_ sorry? Why? I'm supposed to apologize here. That's what these are for," he grabbed the pink roses that were balanced on the porch railing. "I even fucked that up."

Rachel's eyes widened at the sight of the pink roses. A thin layer of frost coated the petals—he must have been waiting outside for a while, she realized. "So you're not waiting out here working up the courage to break up with me?" she asked—and cursed herself for how ridiculous and insecure she sounded. "Please forget I asked that, considering that you've already answered that question."

"Uh, ok," Puck agreed awkwardly. He stared at her, completely blanking on what he was going to tell her—what he'd been trying for hours to figure out.

"You had something you wanted to say to me?" she prompted meekly.

He nodded and tried to pull his thoughts together. She looked so nervous…and beautiful there in the moonlight. The words started pouring out. "I'm sorry I acted like a jerk at dinner—and then for not calling you. I just…" he trailed off.

Instead of waiting for him, Rachel jumped in with her own apology. "And I'm sorry for not supporting you at dinner! I realize now that even if I disagree with you, it must have felt terrible to have everyone against you like that. I should have been the one on your side then. Even if later I explained my side to you in private. My situation with Shelby has given me a certain perspective…and I want you to know that you are nothing like her—your situation with Beth is nothing like mine with Shelby. I didn't understand that you might be worried about that until recently."

He felt so relieved at her words—even if she was interrupting him. It's not like he knew what to say anyway besides "sorry". And somehow it seemed like she understood him even without him telling her how he was feeling.

Rachel watched a half-smile creep across his face as she spoke. "Oh, I'm sorry again!" she gasped, hands flying to her mouth to stop her flow of words. "I didn't let you finish!" she realized, appalled. "Please continue."

"It sounds like you already know most of it—'cause yeah, you're right that I don't want Beth to think of me the way you think of Shelby. It just…kills me. And then when you actually said it's like you and Shelby…"

"I know! I'm so sorry I did that!" she burst out again. "I didn't mean it that way! The biological part yes, I still mean that. But I've been wanting to explain to you that it was only after Shelby rejected having a relationship with me after everything that happened—that's why I feel so…uncomfortable around her. But you would never have that type of situation with Beth!" she insisted. "I was going to tell you that, if I could have just talked to you…" This time her voice trailed off, and she looked down at her feet.

"Shit, I should've called," he mumbled. "Such an idiot," he cursed himself. "Such a fuck-up. I'm a shitty boyfriend, shitty dad—biological father, I mean. I can't even say it right," he groaned in frustration.

"Oh, Noah," she sighed sadly as she looked into his eyes.

He looked away, but she thought she saw the shine of tears—and the way his jaw was working, he seemed to be fighting back his emotions.

"Noah, no, you're a beautiful, wonderful person, boyfriend, and father," she said softly but with authority. Her heart hurt for him and the only thing she wanted to do in that moment is make him feel better. They would deal with the issues of communication and appropriate relationship behavior later. She placed her hands on the sides of his face, forcing him to look at her. He blinked his gorgeous eyes as if he couldn't process what was happening. She gave a slight nod and smile to reassure him wordlessly. Then she kissed him.

His heart clenched and he felt so grateful for her—he just wanted to hold her and never let go. But as he tightened his arms around her, she pulled away unexpectedly.

"You taste terrible!" she blurted as she recoiled.

_Damn cigarette_. "Sorry! Don't worry, never gonna smoke again. No more dip either," he vowed.

"Thank goodness!" she exclaimed, then she added, "but you can make your own decisions."

"I _decide_ not to taste terrible for my girlfriend," he confirmed with a slight smirk conflicting with the sadness still present in his eyes.

His words sent a wave of relief through her. _Girlfriend_. She grabbed his hand. "Let's go upstairs."

He raised his eyebrow. "Really? Now?"

She smiled. "So you can borrow a toothbrush."

"Oh," he muttered, deflated.

"But after you taste minty fresh," she sang, "we'll already be upstairs…" she finished suggestively.

He grinned. The sadness seemed to be evaporating.

"First we should stop to put these roses in a vase of water," she said as she scooped up the bouquet with her left hand. "They really are lovely, Noah, thank you."

He shrugged. "Apology gift. Pink seemed like the right ones for you."

"They're perfect." She stretched up to kiss him again, but just gave him a peck on the cheek when she remembered the smoky taste.

They walked inside the door smiling, both feeling that this was _right_. Perhaps it's strange that with so much left unresolved they felt they _belonged_ hand-in-hand in this way. But that's the way they were—like two magnets. When they were in close proximity, they righted themselves—through seemingly uncontrollable attractive forces. And for awhile, everything felt right—in balance—even while unrest waved around them under the surface.

…

Kurt watched Rachel leave the party and couldn't help shaking his head. "She must really love that idiot."

Blaine raised his eyebrow. "That appears to be the case…but do you know something I don't?"

"Not really. It's just that Rachel Berry is the type of girl who needs attention—constantly. Everyone knows it; she even admits it. And she's a perfectionist who would want to be in the middle of everything and be the perfect hostess for her birthday party. Now she's jumped her own ship. Abandoned her own party. " Kurt's mini-rant was interrupted by the buzz of his phone alerting him to a new text.

"Is that Rachel?" Blaine asked curiously, peering over at the phone's screen. His eyes widened. "Karofsky?" he exclaimed. "I thought we talked about this."

Kurt looked at him with a furrowed brow. "I thought we had too. You still have a problem with my friendship with Dave? It's just friendship!" Kurt's voice grew louder and his face flushed.

Mercedes turned quickly from Artie to try to figure out what Kurt was worked up about. She didn't feel like she was doing any good standing in front of Artie while Tina fawned over him and Mike tried to reason with him about Brittany's sudden announcement that she was going to Juilliard. Mercedes decided she'd much rather check out what was going on in Kurt and Blaine's corner of the basement.

"Hey guys," she started. "I heard you from across the room. Something wrong? Besides the whole Brittany and Artie meltdown? Or is that what you two are goin' on about like the rest of us?"

Blaine and Kurt looked at each other, embarrassed. "Sorry about that, Mercedes," Blaine apologized. "We should probably try to help like everyone else." Then he turned. "And Kurt, I owe an 'I'm sorry' to you too. We should talk more later, but I'll try not to over-react like that."

Kurt nodded. "Thank you, Blaine," he said quietly with a small smile. Then he straightened his shoulders and turned to Mercedes. "Ok, we'll get our best reality-show-strategist-mode going and try to come up with some ideas to help these crazy kids."

…

Finn was restless. While he considered everyone in glee club to be a friend, his girlfriend and closest friends were upstairs somewhere working out issues or something. He pretty much expected that this would be a lame party—especially knowing that Rachel's dads were upstairs to keep an eye on things and knowing how terrible Rachel's last party was. But he had no clue there'd be so much crying. He had to get out of there.

When they had first arrived, Santana had told him that if he played nice with everyone at the party for a few hours, they'd play naughty back at her place afterward. He didn't know why she told him to be nice when she was the one who hated…everyone. But he could hardly care. He was looking forward to all the things he would do alone with Santana…things Rachel and Quinn never let him do. So when he could tell that Rachel wasn't having a very good time at her own party, he tried to be extra nice to her.

It was surprisingly easy to be around her even though she was his ex-girlfriend. As long as she wasn't with Puck, Finn was fine about the whole thing. Yeah, he realized that the way he felt seeing Rachel with Puck was probably how she felt seeing him with Santana or Quinn. So maybe that made them even. Rachel could hurt him with Puck and Jesse. He could hurt her right back. Not that he wanted to hurt her. He didn't. And he knew she didn't want to hurt him. That's just the way it was. They could still hurt each other, just a little. Part of it was ego, he recognized (with help). It just sucked that it was always Puck. First Quinn, then Rachel. He figured if Rachel still felt hurt about their breakup(s), it was because of her ego too.

It was Santana who helped him understand about egos. She was really smart. Finn remembered telling her how uncomfortable he felt around Puck and Rachel. First she told him to suck it up; then she told him that she'd been uncomfortable about those two for a while but she never said anything.

"How long?" he had asked her.

"Ever since he sang her that ridiculous song," she had muttered bitterly. "He never sang me a song, and we—never mind. Nobody ever sang me a song. Nobody."

Finn had been puzzled. How long exactly had Puck liked Rachel? It didn't make sense. He knew they had that thing sophomore year, and then she cheated on him by kissing Puck, but…did Puck actually like Rachel back then? Santana seemed to think so, but she couldn't be sure she said. And even if Puck liked Rachel, that didn't make Finn any less mad at him or less…_uncomfortable_ seeing them together. So Santana explained to Finn that his feelings came from his ego, not because of any leftover love for Rachel. And that actually made sense. So now Finn was like an expert about _ego_.

But his current discomfort at Rachel's party wasn't about ego or leftover love. It was about all the crying.

Crying Artie was almost as bad as a crying girl. Or maybe worse. Finn had gone to the bathroom to try to get away for awhile—hoping that when he came back that it would be over—or that at least Santana would have come back downstairs from talking to Brittany so they could leave. But no such luck.

Finn stood there helplessly as Tina and Mike tried to talk to Artie. He almost turned to see if Kurt, Blaine, and Mercedes would be better company, but he overheard them from where he was standing. They were talking about Artie and Brittany too. Finn knew he would be no help. He was sorta paralyzed by crying.

Well, he'd become immune to Rachel's crying after a while. Only because she did it so often during singing, he found it hard to tell when she was _performing_ and when she was being _real_. But seeing her cry did feel like a little bruise on his heart anyway. Now Santana crying, that was like a knife in the chest. She hardly ever cried, but when she did, it was like a crazy never-ending kinda thing. Like she held it all in for a really long time and then let it all out at once. He realized that Quinn was like the same way, but kinda the opposite too. She must hold it in too, but when she cried it was like one tear. One tear was all she'd let anyone see. And for anyone who saw it, it was…heart-wrenching, gut-wrenching.

He couldn't stand it. He had to go find her.

His girlfriend.

Not Quinn.

He wasn't going to look for Quinn.

He just needed to get away from the crying.

Without a word (not that anyone really cared—some leader he was), Finn bounded up the stairs to find out where everyone else went.

…

Jacob Ben-Israel was shocked to learn that Rachel's dads were actually home. He knew this mission was risky, but he also thought it was the best bet to follow through on his threat—because making idle threats was even more despised than making the threat itself, he thought. Gotta live up to promises. People were counting on him. Ok, maybe not many, but some guys in the AV club would set up a shrine to him if he pulled this off, and his reputation would live on in infamy after he graduated. And tonight he could make history. He knew the alarm would be disabled so that guests could come and go from the party. He'd just have to sneak in, which he did through the back door and headed upstairs. He'd worn an unnecessary disguise—a snow cap to hide his Jewfro was the key, but without trouble he went straight to Rachel's room to plant his surveillance equipment. He wasn't sure if he would really go through with it—the actual recording and viewing part. If he started recording, he was bound to catch something. Instead of completing his self-appointed spy mission, he kinda hoped to run into Rachel so he could convince her to break up with that man-whore. Then his glory with the AV guys would come from the panties he would steal. Ah, Rachel Berry panties. So even though he was prepared with the equipment, his true goal was to steal a few things and talk to Rachel if she happened to catch him. (But if she didn't catch him, he'd leave with a few souvenirs and have a video recorder to pick up later.)

Jacob didn't expect that she'd ever really date a loser like him, but he just had to try. It was senior year and being with Rachel Berry was his dream ever since he'd met her.

But he _really_ didn't expect that the first people to enter Rachel's room while he was setting up would be Santana Lopez and Brittany Pierce.

Things would have been fine if they hadn't started kissing—Jacob just couldn't stop the whimper of anticipation about what he might witness.

And that's why he was sitting there in Rachel's bedroom now, tied with sheets to a chair, while Santana, Brittany, and Quinn Fabray debated about what to do with him. Sam Evans was standing near the doorway, looking shocked and uncomfortable.

When a knock on the door startled everyone else, Jacob was feeling relieved. He figured that the Berry's wouldn't knock.

He was right.

"What the hell?" Finn asked as he took in the bizarre sight.

Sam ushered him in and shut the bedroom door. He wasn't sure why. It didn't look like Jacob was going to escape. He supposed he did it so the girls could decide if they were going to tell Rachel's dads or not.

As Santana and Quinn explained the situation to Finn, the door knob turned again.

…

"What are you all doing in here?" Rachel asked the crowd of her party guests. She blushed and dropped Noah's hand momentarily due to the impropriety of what it might have seemed like she was doing. "Noah was just going to borrow," she started to explain. But as Finn stepped to the side, she saw what they were all gathered around: a captive Jacob Ben-Israel. She gasped.

Puck's fury and frustration took hold of him—now he had a target. "What the fuck are you doing here?" he roared.

Rachel's voice caught in her throat. She wanted to make sure that Noah didn't do anything regrettable, but at the same time she was mesmerized by the sight of him—his eyes flashing with fury and looking especially green.

Finn didn't even have to tell Sam to grab Puck—they both just did it—each going for an arm. It was a good thing they held him back because the pounding on the stairs they heard next could only be from Rachel's dads.

Rachel was still in a bit of a trance, staring at the sliver of golden skin above Noah's hip—right at the oblique muscle—where his shirt had been pushed up as Sam and Finn immobilized him. She could hardly be properly scandalized by the events around her because she wanted to use her tongue to trace that exposed spot above his jeans so badly.

Marshall Berry was the first through the door. He was about to scold the kids for being upstairs outside the designated party area and for making so much noise, including a curse word. But then the scene before him began to sink in. "What the f-?"

"What in the world?" Aaron Berry started at the same time. "Can someone tell us what is going on?"

"We just walked in, Dad," Rachel said. "Can one of you explain what's happening here?" she asked her friends.

Everyone looked at each other but no one spoke a word. Santana sighed disgustedly. "Yes, I can explain."

"It seems as though we need to adjourn this party and continue the explanation at the police station," Marshall said.

Rachel looked aghast. "I think it would be best if I stay here, Daddy. I don't really want to be anywhere near Jacob." She shivered.

"Of course, sweetie. But we will need someone to explain what happened here," Aaron said.

Santana nodded reluctantly. "I'll go. Nobody else was here from the beginning." She didn't even mention Brittany—sometimes Brittany's naïve honesty could make a situation worse.

"Can't we just work this out?" Jacob whined plaintively. "I'm really sorry! I just came to talk to Rachel!"

"Tell that to the cops," Sam piped up. Then he looked around, embarrassed. "Sorry. I got a little carried away. It's your decision."

Rachel flashed a small smile.

Aaron turned to Sam. "We're in agreement. No matter what his reasons are, he's in violation of a restraining order."

Jacob slumped in defeat. But then he raised his head almost gleefully. "So, how is this going to work?" he asked. "Are you going to leave me tied up here while you wait for the police to arrive? Are you going to tie me up and drag me to the station yourselves?"

Aaron and Marshall looked at each other and back at Jacob warily. They realized it could look very bad if they brought a young man tied up in bed sheets to the police station; or if the police arrived to see the situation. Even if everyone in the room confirmed that Jacob was the one who snuck in, the fact that he was in restraints could actually end up with charges against the Berry's—especially considering the red mark on his cheek that looked a bit like a handprint.

"We have to untie him," Marshall said.

"What?" exclaimed most everyone else.

Jacob grinned with relief.

"You've gotta be kidding me," Puck groaned.

"We're still calling the police," Aaron explained. "Everyone out of the room," he ordered. "We're untying him and attempting to barricade him in the bedroom." He didn't add that Jacob could potentially escape through window while they waited for the cops. Marshall was already calling. The kids looked around at each other, stunned. Rachel began shepherding them out of the room. Finn and Sam kept a loose grip on Puck—just in case he decided to do something stupid. They stood blocking the exit, while Aaron tried to figure out what to put under the window—and under the unfortunate nearby tree—to discourage escape by that route. He wished he had given in to Rachel's request for a puppy so many years ago so they'd have a guard dog now.

Jacob was already scrambling to climb out the window when he realized he was in no way prepared to leap from the second story to the tree branch that was taunting him. But he really had no choice.

He took a deep breath and went for it.

And made it!

Just as Aaron Berry rounded the corner from the garage dragging some rakes, Jacob slithered down the tree trunk. Aaron yelled and broke into a run, throwing the rake at the running boy's feet—and missing completely.

Even Jacob abstractly appreciated how badass Mr. Berry would have seemed if he'd taken him down with that rake. Fortunately, his fellow Jew was better at words and numbers than athletic pursuits. Jacob was no athlete either, but he ran like he'd never run before—even faster than when he'd been pelted by pee balloons. He could hear more footsteps and yelling as the others from inside the house joined the chase. He knew he had made it though—he was steps away from his car and everyone else was on foot with their cars parked down the block. And obviously he wouldn't drive home where they could catch him.

The tires squealed as he raced away.

…

When Puck had seen Jacob heading for a car, he turned around and ran for his truck. But it was too late. Not because he had parked so far away (which he had), but because a patrol car was turning onto the street. Puck couldn't race off after fuck-face with a cop right there. Too bad the cop hadn't shown up a minute ago to see Jacob take off like a drag racer. Fuck!

He was seething mad. He still wanted to tail the motherfucker, but the cop and Marshall Berry were motioning him up to the porch.

Fuck.

The cop was trying to organize a way to collect everyone's statements instead of looking up the little prick's license plate number and address.

Fuck.

But then he felt a soft hand slipping into his. Rachel.

"I'm so glad you're here," she whispered.

"I wish I could've done something," he muttered. "Can't believe that fucker showed up here—after everything…"

She tugged on him as she sat on the sofa, prompting him to sit too. Then she placed her hand on his thigh. "I know, I can't believe it either, but we can't let him get to us."

"I'm gonna get to him," Puck growled.

"No don't," she whispered. "Though I appreciate the sentiment. In fact, unlike the last time when I got upset seeing you actually attack Jacob, this time when you just appeared threatening and protective, well, I find it incredibly…sexy." She bit her lip nervously, hoping she made the right choice by revealing this secret. "Not that I want to encourage such behavior and attempted violence, but I have an incredible urge to…have some alone time with you."

In the back of her mind, Rachel knew that part of her desire to be close to him was to relieve the tension she had felt due to their fight, temporary separation, and fear of permanent separation. She wanted a physical expression of their closeness. But in spite of the emotional pull she knew was there, the physical attraction was at the forefront of her mind.

Sam saw Puck and Rachel get up from the couch, so he figured they must be done with all the police stuff—he could finally talk to Puck. "Hey, Puckerman, got a sec?" he asked. "I've got some questions for you."

Puck shook his head. "Bad time, man." He was a little curious, but he didn't want anything to stop him from taking advantage of Rachel's horniness.

"Oh, sorry," Sam said with disappointment.

Rachel tugged on Puck's sleeve. He figured out what she wanted him to do. "But if I don't catch you tonight, hit me up later, ok man?"

Sam was grateful but puzzled. "Ok…Does that mean the party's still going?"

Rachel nodded vigorously. "Yes!" She raised her voice to address the room. "After the police have finished taking everyone's statements and searching my bedroom for evidence, we will be continuing the party! So please stay! Have some cake! I'm so sorry for these interruptions!"

"It's not your fault, girl," Mercedes reassured her. "But wouldn't you rather just call it a night?"

"No!" she exclaimed. "I would actually really love for everyone to stay as long as possible! It might help keep Jacob from coming back tonight," she stated. Then a bit more quietly she added, "And I would really like to try to salvage this 18th birthday party experience with the help of all of you."

Well nobody was going to leave after that! Who was going to be that guy who said, _screw you, I'm going home_? So as their statements were taken, the party guests returned to the basement, wondering where Rachel and Puck were—but trying not to think about it too hard.

…

Quinn and Sam were waiting to have their statements taken after most of the others had finished. Finn was giving his, and Sam, Quinn, Brittany, and Santana were left. Apparently the cops were going in reverse order so they could get the people who didn't see anything out of the way. While it wasn't the private conversation she had hoped to finish with Sam about springing the whole college indecision on her, she had to ask him. "What did you want to ask Puck, Sam? Anything I can help with?"

He shook his head but turned toward her. "I was gonna ask him about the music programs he's applying to and how much they cost and stuff like that. You're right that I can't afford a really expensive college, but I still wanna find someplace with a good music program. I really think that's what I should major in, you know?"

Quinn nodded slowly. She honestly thought that a music career was an unrealistic goal for anyone in Lima—except for Rachel Berry. So the thought that Sam—whom she was counting on to be her future husband—would pursue something so uncertain scared her to death. "I know where Puck's applying. Case Western. He just wants to be in Cleveland to be…near Beth. He doesn't care about the cost—which I looked up actually. It's expensive. About three times the cost of OSU." She didn't intend to sound smug about it, but she could tell that she did. She tried to soften her expression. "OSU has a music program too. Have you checked into it yet?"

He nodded. "Yeah…they have jazz guitar, but that's about it for guitar I think." But he saw the sadness in Quinn's eyes. He tried to say something positive. "But they have one of the top Music Education programs around. So if I wanted to be a teacher, like Mr. Schue, it'd be really good to go there."

Quinn had a flash of what her future could be like—after a great time in college, they'd settle down together in small-town Ohio. Sam teaching music and she'd…teach English or Art or something maybe? And maybe she'd sell real estate on the side—because they'd obviously be poor. She couldn't stop the sad sigh that escaped her lips.

But Sam's name was called and Finn exited the kitchen where the cop had set up. In the assembly-line manner they'd been following, Quinn moved to the dining room while Santana and Brittany took her seat on the sofa.

As he nodded in casual greeting, Finn noticed the sad look in Quinn's eyes. "Something wrong, Quinn?"

"You mean more than waiting in line to give a police statement at the worst birthday party ever?" 

"Yeah." 

"Then yes…thanks for asking."

"Do you, uh, wanna talk about it?" he asked tentatively.

Quinn looked up at him curiously. He looked so sincere, she couldn't help but smile. "Thank you, Finn. Maybe it would help to talk about it."

Finn pulled up a chair at the dining table and waited for her to begin.

She started pouring out her feelings about her situation with Sam. "Don't you think a couple should want to go to college together? Or at least discuss it together?" 

"Santana and I aren't. But I guess we did talk about it a little. It's just high school, Quinn." 

She sighed and nodded. "But he gave me a promise ring. I thought it meant something."

"I thought you gave that back to him," Finn said puzzled.

"I did. Then we got back together." She flashed her hand to display the ring. She was a little perturbed that he hadn't noticed actually. What's the point of a promise ring if nobody notices that you're wearing it?

Finn blinked at the tiny ring. "Well, then I guess that means you two are more serious than most couples…" he said slowly, unsure why that thought made him uneasy.

"So then I'm not being unreasonable," Quinn concluded.

"Yeah. I mean, you're not unreasonable," Finn fumbled. "But if you guys are really serious, maybe going to different colleges won't be the end of the world…"

"Thanks Finn, you're a good friend," she smiled. 

He flashed his signature half-smile. "I'm trying."

"It's been awhile since we talked. Maybe we should make it a point to talk more often and not lose touch after graduation." 

"Sure," he grinned. "It sounds like we're both going to OSU, but yeah, just in case we don't, it would be cool to…you know, talk. We haven't really talked since..." 

"Yeah, it's been a while," Quinn said quickly, uncomfortable with her memories from their messy past.

Finn felt the discomfort too—hers and his own. "I better go. Santana's still waiting to talk to the cop, so I should probably hang with her." He glanced into the living room. "Well, she's got Brittany so she probably doesn't care…I can stay with you if you don't want to wait for Sam alone…"

Quinn smiled up at him. "You're very sweet, Finn. I'll be ok. You can go. But thanks again."

Finn felt weird as he left the dining room to chill with Santana and Brittany. He was left with some mixture of sadness and happiness that didn't make any sense.

Quinn felt confident that when she talked to Sam after all of this silly police business was over, she'd convince him that she was right about OSU being the best choice. But if he still wanted to go somewhere else for school…maybe that would be ok too.

…

Rachel led an anxious Puck upstairs. She retrieved a toothbrush and waited patiently as he brushed the cigarette taste out of his mouth. Then they snuck out of her bedroom and into the guest room.

"Just in case the police check my room again for Jacob's equipment," she explained in a whisper.

"Still pretty risky," he smirked. But then he wanted to smack himself at the look of concern on Rachel's face. Why couldn't he learn when to shut his mouth?

"You're right," she conceded. Instead of leaving, she opened the closet door. "What do you think?" she asked nervously.

"The guest room has a walk-in closet?" he asked as he thought about the hole in the wall he called a closet. "And it's empty? How much space does a guest need?"

Rachel cocked her head to the side curiously. "Well, I'm sure when this house was built it was intended to be the bedroom of a son or daughter. But you do realize what I'm asking you, right?"

He grinned slowly as he finally caught on. "Oh fuck yeah!"

"We'll have to be…quiet…but at least if someone does wander into the guest room for any reason we'll have some warning and time to…make ourselves decent."

Puck didn't need any convincing. He stepped into the closet and she followed, closing the door. In the dark, she reached for him and kissed him fiercely. He pressed himself against her as he kissed back. Soon they were in full make-out mode, and Rachel was tugging at his shirt. She had to get to that skin, even if she couldn't see it. She kissed a trail downward from his neck, chest, piercing—causing him to shiver deliciously—then she made her way down his abs where she found the line of his waist and lived out her mini-fantasy along his perfect torso. She was throbbing, burning, so ready for him.

"Rachel…" Puck was about to lose his mind. Holy hell, what had gotten into her? He was hard as fuck, and she was down there on her knees just above his jeans—like a cock-tease, but he knew that's one thing she wasn't. Especially the way she was unzipping his fly and swaying her hips—she seemed in the mood to do just about anything.

"So…does this mean we're doin' it standing up? Don't get me wrong, I'm _all_ about that, but you're still kinda new at this…Not that we have to do it, we could just keep making out or whatever…"

Rachel sank to the floor and pulled off her sweater, so he figured he had the answer. He kissed her as he helped her undress the rest of the way. In seconds, she was lying on the carpet and he was pulling himself out of his jeans. As he hovered over her, he realized what they were about to do and where.

"Hey baby, I think you should be on top again."

"Oh? Why? I thought maybe we should take turns."

He chuckled. Of course she did. "It may be easy to keep track now, but believe me, we don't have to worry about taking turns being on top. In fact, sometimes we'll both be on top in the same round." He winked but figured she couldn't really see him. "Just trust me,Rach," he replied. He didn't want to tell her that he was afraid she'd get a rug-burn from the friction of their bodies against the carpet. Better he suffer a little than make her get hurt—even a little. But if he told her, then she probably wouldn't trade places with him because that's how she is. "You seemed to like being on top last time," he smirked. "And this is your birthday party…"

"It's true," she blushed. "But I've liked everything we've done together."

"Ditto," he said quickly as he rolled to swap their places before she could argue. Even in the dark, he knew she was smiling down at him. And he knew she wanted him. It only took a roaming hand to know she was dripping wet for him. He ripped open the condom package without wasting time. He placed one hand on her hip and held his cock in the other to help guide her.

He stifled a groan as she slid over him with a sigh. Gently thrusting, he encouraged her with his hands on her hips until they got into the perfect rhythm. One spot on his lower back was getting rubbed raw from the damn carpet, so he kinda wished they had brought a blanket with them, but he sure as hell wasn't stopping. Fuck, he wished he could see her, boobs jiggling as she rode him. His hands traveled up her waist so he could feel—so perfect and perky. She shivered as he played with her nips, so he held her while he leaned forward—aching to take one in his mouth.

"Oh, oh," Rachel gasped as his tongue and lips teased and suckled. The feelings completely negated the minor friction she felt as her knees scraped the carpet.

She was shuddering already and Puck figured it was better to release early than to have a sex marathon in the closet and have everyone looking for them. A few more thrusts, deeper, deeper, and they both melted together.

…

Rachel collapsed on top of his chest and lay there breathing heavily. "Wow! That was like everything happening at once!" she exclaimed in satisfied amazement.

"Like I said, just trust me," he chuckled.

"You were so right," she breathed, sounding so impressed. She squeezed him a little. "I definitely trust you, Noah."

He couldn't help but grin as he lay on the floor in the dark with Rachel in his arms. Yeah, the rug-burn was totally worth it.

…

It hadn't been that long from the time they disappeared to the time they returned to the party. But Kurt took one look at Rachel's mussed hair and sappy smile and said, "My, don't you look all satisfied and freshly plucked. Our little good girl keeps getting dirtier and dirtier."

Puck's blood boiled at the self-satisfied look on his prissy little face. "Hummel, watch your fucking mouth!"

"Noah!"

Blaine took a step toward Puck defensively. "Hey, no need for that! Chill!"

Puck glowered past Blaine to stare down Kurt. "I just didn't like what you were inferring." 

Rachel placed her hand on his arm. "I think you mean implying." Then she clapped her hand over her mouth. "Oh, actually infer works too! I'm so sorry I corrected you!"

Puck smirked. "It's ok, B. And you're right; I meant implying." He bent to place a light kiss on her lips. 

"Ugh," groaned Artie. "Really, you two? I think I'm gonna be sick!" he exclaimed dramatically. 

"I'm with you there," Tina agreed.

"I think it's sweet," chimed Mike.

"You would!" Tina and Artie replied simultaneously, sounding disgusted. But Tina smiled and kissed Mike's cheek, while Artie pretended to gag.

"Alright, everybody," Rachel announced. "Noah and I are a couple, and even if you don't think we're built to last, I'd appreciate your support instead of your condescension!" she finished, eying Kurt.

"I'm sorry, Rachel," Artie said.

"Yes, we're sorry," Kurt agreed. "You're right."

Rachel lightly elbowed Noah.

"Sorry, Kurt," Puck muttered. "Just don't talk like that about Rachel, got it?"

Kurt nodded somewhat dismissively but offered no apology for his comments. He didn't see anything wrong with what he said, so whatever.

Everyone stood around awkwardly.

"In the spirit of support, how about you and I do a duet?" Blaine suggested. "Dedicated to our leading men? You deserve some fun at your party after all of this drama."

Rachel nodded cheerfully while Puck eyed Blaine skeptically. They did have that crazy spin-the-bottle thing…and now Blaine had his hand dangerously close to her ass. Puck clenched his jaw involuntarily.

"Don't worry," Kurt assured him in a whisper. "Blaine is definitely gay."

Puck rolled his eyes and tried not to say something he'd regret.

Blaine told Rachel he had a song selected for them, if she didn't mind. She raised her eyebrow at his choice—a favorite of her dads. "While I agree that we had a great 80s duet the last time we did this, this isn't a duet."

He shrugged easily. "We'll fix that." As the 80s beat started, Blaine changed his mind about the tempo—he didn't want the song to sound like a joke when the lyrics were so great. "Actually, how about I just play it on guitar and we'll watch for the words?" He turned down the volume on the karaoke machine and grabbed a guitar from the stand. "Is this yours?" he asked as he strummed.

"My dad's," she answered. She supposed it was too late now to ask him to leave it alone. Then he started singing, and Rachel's mind was consumed with trying to follow the lyrics and turn the song into a duet. Blaine gave her an encouraging look as he began the first verse.

_How, how can it be that a love carved out of caring  
Fashioned by fate could suffer so hard  
From the games played once too often?  
But making mistakes is a part of life's imperfection  
Born of the years.  
Is it so wrong to be human after all?  
_

Blaine smiled apologetically at Kurt. He hoped that Kurt knew how he felt. Then he turned to Rachel—he picked this song for his situation with Kurt and hers with Puck—almost an apology to her too. He was relieved when she joined in with a soft smile.

_**Drawn into the stream of undefined illusion  
Those diamond dreams they can't disguise the truth**__  
__**That there is something about you  
Baby, so right.  
I wouldn't be here without you, baby, tonight.**_

Rachel watched the lyrics scrolling on the screen and looked up at Noah.

_If __**ever our love was concealed, no one can say that**_

_**We didn't feel a million things, and the perfect dream of life  
Gone. Fragile but free,  
We remain tender together  
if not so in love.  
It's not so wrong  
We're only human after all.  
**_

Puck was sure what to make of the look Rachel was giving him—it seemed like she wanted him to understand the song. Love, not in love? He supposed that he'd just ask her, but he wasn't sure why he felt so anxious all of a sudden.

___**These changing years, they add to your confusion  
Oh, and you need to hear the time that told the truth.  
Because there's something about you  
Baby, so right.  
I wouldn't be here without you, baby, tonight.  
**_

_**Because there's something about you**_

_**Baby, so right.  
I wouldn't be here without you, baby, tonight.**_

Kurt clasped his hands to his heart and swayed as Blaine strummed to the end of the song. Then he rushed the mini-stage to hug his boyfriend. Rachel smiled at the sight and demurely stepped down from the stage.

"What did you think?" she asked shyly.

"I think that's a great way to end your party," he smirked. "Let's get these mofos outta here so we can be alone," he whispered gruffly.

"I like being alone with you," she smiled.

He grinned. "Party's over, people!" he announced. "Thanks for comin' and all that!"

Kurt clapped his hands to get everyone's attention. "Ok, ok, but let's give Rachel a big 'happy birthday'…Say it with me…"

"Happy Birthday, Rachel!" came a somewhat coordinated shout, followed by a smattering of laughter.

"Thank you, everyone," Rachel smiled. "This really means a lot," she said sincerely. "And I really want to apologize again for the disruption to the fun caused by the intruder and police investigation."

"What's a party without the cops?" Santana smirked as she said goodbye to Puck and Rachel. Finn followed her, saying, "Yeah, it makes a cool story, right?"

Puck nodded at Finn's attempt at friendliness and Rachel smiled widely.

…

Most everyone was relieved to finally leave the party.

Puck and Rachel were relieved that they were gone too.

Aaron and Marshall weren't sure why Noah Puckerman wasn't leaving.

"I have a question for you," Puck said to Rachel's dads as they all stood awkwardly in the foyer.

"A question? I think this is the first time we've spoken tonight. Glad you could join us this evening, Noah," Aaron said, not budging from the front door.

"Yes, it's nice to see you're feeling better," Marshall said pointedly. "We weren't sure if we should expect you at the party after how poorly you seemed to feel at dinner last night."

Puck groaned inwardly. Shit. "Uh, yeah…Sorry about that…I was upset but I should have handled it better."

"Apology accepted," Aaron said formally.

"Thanks." Puck wasn't sure he'd ever heard anyone say that seriously before now. He went on with his request. "I'd like to park my truck in your driveway and spend the night," Puck started. "Not in Rachel's room or anything—I'm just hoping maybe it would keep Jacob from pulling anything else while the cops take their f-freakin' time. I don't wanna take any chances with that sh-slimeball."

Aaron appraised him thoughtfully. "Marshall and I will discuss it and get back to you."

"Ok," Puck nodded and ran his hand through his hair. "I'll be…around, uh, helping Rachel clean up the basement."

Puck and Rachel didn't get much accomplished before Aaron and Marshall came downstairs.

"Normally, we would not allow this type of overnight scenario, Noah, but we have decided that this occasion can be an exception," Aaron said.

Marshall added, "It's better to know where you are than to worry about you running around after that Jacob boy."

For a moment Puck thought he'd made a mistake—mind-fucked by the Berry's. _Should_ he go after Jacob? Had he wasted a perfect opportunity to kick that shit-sucker's ass? But one look into Rachel's eyes erased that thought. He wanted to be near her; he _had_ to be near her.

"Thank you, sirs," Puck said.

"Yes, thank you," said Rachel, as calmly as she could manage.

The Berry's decided that most of the cleanup could wait until the next day. Puck stood in the living room awkwardly as Rachel headed upstairs to her bedroom.

"So…I guess I'll sleep down here on the couch then…"

"Don't be silly," Rachel said as she stepped back down to take his hand. "You can sleep upstairs."

"In the guest room," Marshall said, coming around the corner with a folded bath towel in his hand. "It's all ready and just across the hall from Rachel's room—and our room," he finished without subtlety. "I was just bringing up a clean towel for you for when you shower."

"Thank you, sir," Puck said as he took the towel. "I really appreciate it."

Marshall nodded. "Good night, you two," he said before kissing the top of Rachel's head. "Good night, sweetheart."

Aaron came around the corner next, clearly already in his pajamas. "Quite an 18th birthday party, wasn't it?" he asked with chagrin.

"That it was," agreed Marshall as Rachel and Puck nodded.

"The security alarm's set, everyone," Aaron announced. "Noah, Rachel knows the code if you need to leave for any reason before we get up in the morning."

"Ok, thank you, sir."

"Good night then," Aaron said before giving Rachel a good night kiss and hug.

Everyone headed upstairs and to their respective rooms.

Puck hung at the door, not really sure what to do. Was that _it_? Now he was just supposed to sleep? He wasn't there to do more than just deter Israel from coming back, but he was kinda hoping for more…He looked at Rachel for a sign.

She gave a little wave and smile, then blew him a kiss, and closed her bedroom door—but not all the way.

He didn't know what the fuck to make of that. So he figured he'd just let her make the next move. She knew where he was so…yeah. He stripped down to his t-shirt and boxers and crawled into the bed. Fucking nice guest room—queen-sized bed—way better than his room at home. He hoped she was just waiting for her dads to fall asleep or something, and then she'd tiptoe into the room. Even if they didn't fool around or anything—it would be better just to hold her in his arms than to know she was so close yet so far.

Just as he was giving up hope, he heard a light tap at the door. He propped his head on his arm to watch her as she did just as he'd imagined—she tiptoed into the room in a totally exaggerated way. With her eyes wide, she put a finger to her lips in an unnecessary gesture warning him to be quiet.

Such a drama queen, he thought with a smile. He lifted the blanket for her. "Get in here!" he whispered playfully. "What took you so long?"

She bit her lip and smiled. "I guess I was just waiting for the right time." Then she looked at him somberly. "I think that's what always takes me so long. I used to rush into everything," she said, thinking of Finn, Jesse, her first make-out and break up with Noah. "Now I'm trying to work on my timing."

"Hmm, well, do you think now is the right time for this?" he asked as he leaned in for a slow kiss.

"It's always the right time for that," she breathed.

"Good to know." He settled back down in bed and patted his chest to offer it as her pillow. She snuggled in next to him. "How about this? Good time for this?"

"Mm-hmm," she affirmed. "You have very good timing," she murmured contently.

"Thanks, B," he whispered as he kissed her hair.

"Thank you, Noah," Rachel said sleepily.

"For what?"

"For being here." She closed her eyes.

"Nowhere else I'd rather be."

_I love you_, she thought. Then her eyes snapped open in fear that she'd said it out loud. "I-I missed you," she said even as she realized that she hadn't spoken the L-word. But she also realized that what she had spoken out loud was true too.

"Huh?"

"When we didn't talk, and I didn't see you, and I didn't know what was going on and what you were thinking…I just really missed you. I felt so alone…" she trailed off.

"I'm so sorry, baby," he whispered as he squeezed her tightly.

"It's ok. You don't have to be sorry. Just be with me so I don't feel that way again." She hated the desperation in her voice, but she couldn't control her need for him. She looked into his eyes, straining to see by the dim light cast by the digital clock.

"I don't wanna hurt you, Rach," he said quietly, sadly.

"Then don't. You won't!"

He wasn't so sure it was that easy. He just knew that he didn't want to hurt her. He kissed her goodnight. "I won't," he assured them both.

_I won't._

…

**A.N. **Thanks everyone for reading! SO sorry for the unexpected delay—sister had her baby early (not too early though-no big concerns)! I was distracted by that, among other things.

**Contest question:** The show **Party Down** has the same creator, writers, and several cast members from another canceled show. What show is it that has the closest relationship to Party Down? (First correct wins a prize.)

**Bonus question:** How does the title of this chapter (On Your Porch) relate to the answer to the contest question?

You don't have to know the answer to the bonus question to win the chapter contest. If the first person to answer the contest question doesn't answer the bonus question, the first person to answer the bonus question will get a prize too.

Happy trivial pursuits ;)


	22. A Long December into January

**Ch 22. A Long December into January**

**A.N.** Can't tell you how super sorry I am for the huge delay in this update! Lots going on for me—some good some bad. But I'm not abandoning the story, I promise!

Congrats to **SkyeDrgn** for answering the contest question correctly (Veronica Mars), winning a shout-out for stories: so if you're looking for a Smuckleberry fix, check out **Coming Undone** (and while you're at it, check out the others like the Glee/Veronica Mars crossover too)! And congrats to **lumierelanuit** for getting the bonus question too (_On Your Porch_ is from the VM soundtrack)! Honorable mention goes to **Maiqu **and **Roncha78** for getting the contest question right too!

**Notice:** New Year's Eve = smutSpecial dedication to **acaudill0068**.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Glee or anything familiar.

…

Puck took a deep breath and inhaled the warm vanilla scent of Rachel's hair. He took a moment to realize where he was—in her guest room, and she was still in bed with him. At first he pressed himself against her and closed his eyes, enjoying the comfort of just lying there together—with a little boob action of course.

But then he realized her dads were home—and they'd probably freak the fuck out if they caught them together—even though they were both clothed and nothing had really happened last night besides the same thing that was happening now—sleeping and cuddling.

Yeah, he liked cuddling. Whatever.

And no, he wasn't scared of Rachel's dads.

But he didn't want to get on their bad side either.

"Babe, wake up," he whispered. "You gotta go to your room," he continued more urgently. "Your dads already hate me enough as it is!"

Rachel shifted and moaned softly. She turned toward him with a lazy, dreamy smile that made him want to forget everything he just said and have awesome morning sex instead.

"But I'm so comfy," she practically pouted.

He wanted to pout too. It wasn't his fault—and she had to know he didn't actually want to kick her out of her guest bed.

Rachel could tell he was conflicted…and worried. It was adorable. She smiled softly and kissed him on the cheek. "It's nice to wake up together," she whispered as she slipped out of bed and tiptoed to the door.

"It's amazing," he agreed with a disappointed sigh. Sucked that he had done this to himself. He propped himself up and grabbed her wrist as she reached for the doorknob. "Maybe I was wrong…Are your dads light sleepers?" he asked with a suggestive wiggle of his eyebrows.

Rachel hesitated, but then she nodded. "They will be with you in the house…and the threat of Jacob returning."

Her face darkened a bit, and Puck rubbed his thumb along her wrist before letting it go. "Yeah, that's what I figured in the first place. You're just so hard to resist, you know?"

"Believe me, I know," she said seriously.

Puck laughed out loud—he couldn't help it.

Rachel blushed immediately and realized how it sounded. "I mean because you're so irresistible! I wasn't talking about myself of course!" Then she clapped her hand over her mouth—she was being so loud! If her dads weren't awake before, they would be now!

Her eyes were wide with panic and she scurried out the door to her room. Puck was sorry to see her go, but he was still chuckling. He figured he should head downstairs soon anyway. He pulled on his t-shirt and jeans from last night and headed to the kitchen. There he found Rachel's dads making breakfast and reading the newspaper.

"Oh good morning, Noah," Aaron greeted. "Did we wake you?"

"Nah, I just woke up," Puck replied warily. He wasn't sure if they had heard anything or not. "So…anything in the paper about what happened last night? Do they have like a Lima's Most Wanted section?"

"Unfortunately no," Marshall Berry answered as he shut the paper in frustration. "That's the only reason I went out to buy the stupid paper," he grumbled. "Not that I was looking for that boy's picture, but I thought it would at least be in the police blotter."

Puck just nodded. He didn't know what to say, but he was glad the Berry's seemed just as mad as he was about Jacob Ben-Israel's little spy game stunt.

Aaron tried to diffuse the situation. "Well, at least when you went out for the paper you also got our favorite bagels. Noah, would you like one?"

Puck nodded again and gratefully accepted the bagel—he was glad he wouldn't have to suffer through some vegan mess of fake eggs and soy bacon. But then he heard Rachel coming down the stairs, and for a moment he thought about what it would be like if it were just the two of them—he'd suffer through vegan breakfast if he had to if it meant he could fall asleep and wake up to that every day.

His own thoughts shocked him, and he shook his head to help snap himself out of it.

Rachel looked at him quizzically and he could feel his ears burning with embarrassment at being caught—even though he wasn't caught at all unless she's psychic.

That little smile she gave him almost made him think she was.

He held out the bagel he'd just taken a bite out of. "Bagel, Rach?"

She giggled and behind Puck she saw her dads raise their eyebrows. "Thank you, Noah, but you can have yours. I'll just take another."

He cleared his throat and tried to recover. "Yeah, 'course. That's what I meant. I can hand it to you."

She smiled. "Then yes, please, that would be lovely."

They sat down to a slightly awkward breakfast before Puck remembered he'd also offered to help clean up after the party. "So…I can start cleaning up the basement and stuff from the party if that's cool…"

"Yes, let's clean up!" Rachel said too cheerfully.

Puck raised his eyebrow and gave a smirk, but he was happy to escape with her to the basement while her dads worked on cleaning up upstairs.

Rachel worked on tearing down the decorations while Puck gathered up forgotten cups and stuff. "So you had a star theme for your birthday, huh?" he asked for no reason. He wanted to shoot himself for being so awkward. What was wrong with him? Rachel was smiling. Puck tried to cover. "Looks like you and your dads went a little overboard."

"They wanted to do more," Rachel commented, unoffended.

"More than this?" he asked incredulously as he looked at the gold and silver streamers and stars decorating every surface and the entire ceiling.

"They kept the star with my picture printed on it in their bedroom," she said breezily.

Puck almost choked. "What? You've gotta be shitting me."

Rachel turned toward him with a smile on her face. But she paused. His smirk reminded her of her former tormenter—from the days when that cocky look on his face meant she might be about to receive an icy wake-up call.

Puck's face fell as he watched Rachel's expression. Had he gone too far? Was she upset?

Rachel took a deep breath and decided if she couldn't share a laugh with her boyfriend than she had bigger problems. She stepped down off of the stool she was using to reach the decorations and took his hand. "I'll show you."

He was relieved when she led him up the two flights of stairs to her dads bedroom. And there, in broad daylight, was a giant gold star with a ginormous picture of Rachel beaming a super-cheesy smile. He cracked up laughing before catching himself and glancing at her worriedly. "I mean, not that you don't look good in the picture or whatever…"

She ducked her head and hip-checked him. "Whatever," she echoed with a smile. "There are some things that are too over-the-top even for me," she grinned.

"Oh yeah?" he asked, taking a step closer and reaching for her waist.

Rachel stepped back instinctively at his advance, and then wondered why she wasn't running toward him instead. So she did. Well, she couldn't really run to him because he was already there, so she jumped into his arms, wrapping her legs around his hips.

Puck was caught off-guard and stumbled a bit, but found it a great opportunity to land on the bed. "So, is making out in your parents' room too over-the-top for Rachel Berry?" he asked with a playful smirk.

She shook her head no and leaned in for the kiss. But she was interrupted by a loud cough at the bedroom door, which was wide open.

"Noah, I think we can handle the rest of the clean up today," said Aaron. "You should get going."

"Dad!" Rachel protested as Noah leaped off of her.

"It's ok," Puck said. "Sorry, Mr. Berry. I'll get outta your way. But if you need me to come by later to make sure Israel doesn't come back, I'll be here in a flash, ok?"

"Thanks for the offer," Aaron said stonily.

Puck nodded and headed out. Rachel went after him.

"You're not leaving without a goodbye kiss," she declared, and then she kissed him with a few fancy moves thrown in for good measure.

"Bye, baby," he whispered before closing the door.

He smirked as he heard Rachel huff, "Dad! I can't believe you did that!"

He started his truck, let it warm up in the December cold, and headed home. He was in a surprisingly good mood considering that limp dick Israel hadn't been brought to justice yet. He whistled a tune cheerily, but his next move was brewing in his mind.

…

After lunch, Sam had finally gotten a hold of Puck about college stuff, and since Puck couldn't really remember the details and Rachel had helped him list stuff out on his computer, he just invited Sam over to have a look at whatever he had.

They hadn't gotten very far when Puck got a text from Santana. Which was weird. It had been a LONG time since he'd gotten a text from her. But he shot up as soon as he read the message.

"What the hell's going on?" Sam asked. Puck's abruptness had startled him.

Puck shoved the text toward him and Sam read, 'Spotted JBI. Meet me?' and saw a picture attached.

"You comin' with or not?" Puck asked gruffly. "I gotta go."

Sam grabbed his coat. "Yeah, I'll go. Is that…the Sizzler?"

"Yep, that fucker made a big mistake—Brittany loves Sizzler almost as much as Santana loves Breadstix." Puck was striding out the door to his truck when it dawned on him that Lopez must be out with Brittany instead of Finn. He felt like barking out a spiteful laugh, but his mind was racing too quickly—he was already thinking about what he'd do if he got a hold of that little fucker.

He must have mumbled something out loud because Sam stopped him as he was heading to his own car. "Uh, so what are we gonna do if we do manage to uh, capture him?"

Puck shrugged. "Dunno. Keep him in a basement somewhere until he agrees to confess…or whatever."

"You have a basement?"

"No." Puck said right away. "We'll figure it out. Just get goin' if you're goin'. I'm not waiting." He pulled out and wasn't kidding.

Sam could barely keep up with the truck weaving through traffic as he followed behind in his clunker of a car. The only Sizzler was on the edge of town—about as far away as you could get and still be in Lima. So he had a lot of time alone in his car, trailing Puck.

Still, he couldn't think of anywhere else they'd go if they really did manage to get Jacob…except maybe Rachel's basement. He figured it would be a good idea to call her to at least check out the possibility of bringing that little creeper there.

…

Rachel was surprised to get a text followed by a phone call from Sam. She was more surprised when he acted…cryptic.

"So…if some people happened to get a hold of a certain someone…would your basement be available for…a kind of interrogation or whatever?" Sam asked conspiratorially.

"What on earth are you talking about, Sam?"

"I don't really wanna say..," he said sheepishly.

"I see." Rachel finally realized what he must be referring to—Jacob. "The answer is no. For more reasons than one. I do not condone whatever punishment you guys are planning," she declared firmly.

"But he totally deserves it!" Sam protested.

"That may be true, but we need to let the police handle this—so the police don't end up handling you boys! I'm especially worried about Noah, considering he would be a repeat offender…"

Sam could picture Rachel biting her lip and looking all anxious. Wanting to help Rachel the way she wanted to be helped was starting to outweigh the need for vengeance—somewhat. Besides, she was probably right. "Yeah, ok, that makes sense. I'll tell Puck we need to call it off, but I'm not sure he'll listen to me."

"Thank you, Sam. I'll give you some time, and then I'll talk to him too."

"Ok, that sounds good. I think you're the one who'll be the most convincing."

"I hope so."

"Hey, it worked on me, and I'm not even your boyfriend!"

Rachel blushed slightly and giggled nervously. "Well…wish me luck!" she exclaimed.

"Luck!"

"Thanks," she smiled. "Bye, Sam."

"Bye, Rachel."

…

Sam pulled up to the Sizzler parking lot, just as Puck was jogging to Santana's car. Sam raced over to catch them in time.

Santana eyed him with mild amusement. "Wasn't expecting to see you running after Puck like a puppy."

Brittany giggled. "You do look kinda like a puppy, Sam. Floppy hair and sad eyes," she finished thoughtfully.

"Uh ok," Sam said awkwardly as he cocked his head in an unintentionally puppy-like way. Then he relayed Rachel's message to Puck, who was disappointed for sure.

Santana was disappointed too. "You've got to be kidding me," she huffed. "So Brit and I waited out here like little bitches for nothing?"

Brittany crossed her arms, but she wasn't sure if she should be mad at Santana or Rachel or Sam or Puck. "I'm nobody's bitch," she protested.

Santana nodded supportively at Brittany and looked to Puck. "So, are we doing this or not?"

Puck ignored her, but basically apologized. "Look," he said. "I don't like this shit one bit. But I'm gonna go talk to Rachel in person. You don't have to stay here or anything like that, but thanks for the heads up when you spotted him. No matter what Rachel says, if any of you spot him again, definitely hit me up again."

Santana raised a skeptical eyebrow but nodded. "Fine, whatever."

Brittany nodded reluctantly too.

"Sure thing, man," Sam said. "And thanks for letting me look over your college stuff. I'll let you do your thing, and I'll ask you more stuff again later."

Puck grunted his response as he got back in his truck to head back into Lima—and Rachel's house. He was half-way there when his phone rang—Rachel. She started in on him, and he just said, "I'm not doing anything, babe. Sam told me what you said. I'm heading to your place." He could hear her sigh of relief, but he wasn't giving up on convincing her that he was right on this one.

He pulled into the driveway and couldn't help but smirk when he saw her waiting at the door. He was met with an enthusiastic kiss as she wrapped her arms around him. He took a moment to consider his next action: let it go, or try to be really persuasive?

He was better at persuasion than letting shit go.

So then he pleaded his case, which basically amounted to telling Rachel that he couldn't let Jacob get away with this shit again. But with a twist at the end. "I need to do this. I need to do this for you." He meant every word.

And Rachel could tell by his tone and the look in his eyes. Her heart beat faster. Out of love. And fear—for his sake. "Noah, I love that you're trying to defend me and protect me, but what I really want is to make sure that you don't get in trouble over this silly situation with Jacob." She tried to sound grateful but nonchalant. She didn't want him to be offended that she was so worried about his future and well-being…It's not that she didn't trust him to make good decisions, it's just…she cared about him so much.

Puck heard the strain in her voice. He knew that he was doing it for her and why she was worth it…but he realized that he was also going after Israel for himself. It was a major ego blow that this shit head didn't take him seriously—that his threats meant nothing to the fucker.

So Puck agreed. He decided that he should do something really for Rachel, and if that meant leaving fucking Jacob the fuck alone, he supposed that's what he fucking had to do. But he didn't have to be happy about it. And he couldn't help but bring up a stipulation.

"You know, if the cops don't get their shit together, and I happen to run into Jacob, like at school next semester, or after Temple over break, or whatever, I'm dragging his ass to the cops! Ok?"

"Ok," Rachel smiled. "That sounds like a reasonable compromise."

"Yeah," he grumbled, still kinda pissed that he'd agreed to this shit.

"I can tell you're upset…maybe I can make it up to you?" she asked in her weird way that was all peppy, but questioning, and sexy all at the same time.

Maybe it didn't really matter the tone of voice she used, her words perked him right up.

"Yeah, I totally think you should make it up to me," he said huskily with a smirk.

…

And for a little while, Puck forgot about revenge and just saw stars.

…

That night as she prepared her "To Do" list for her NYU audition so she wouldn't for stressed during her trip to see Grandma Berry for Christmas, the email from Shelby glared at her from her inbox.

It was the still unanswered, with only drafts of replies that had been started several days ago and left untouched.

With a sigh, Rachel decided to put this on her "To Do" list and get it over with now. (But by having it on the list she would get the satisfaction of crossing it off as "Done".)

She re-read Shelby's message a few times, but the repetition did not help her decide how to respond. She needed to decide if she was willing to open herself up to getting hurt again by her biological mother or if she should sever the ties now for good.

As she closed her eyes, one face filled her mind.

She didn't see the unreadable brown eyes of her mother.

She saw the vulnerable green eyes of Noah.

Shelby would be in Noah's life with Beth. Rachel knew that he loved his daughter more than she could ever comprehend—ever at least until maybe she had a baby of her own. But Noah was going to do everything he could to be a part of Beth's life; that much was clear to Rachel. And even though she didn't know what the future would bring, Rachel knew that she loved him—so much. She would do anything for him. Anything she could to make him happy.

So if trying to get on good terms with Shelby would make things easier for Noah, that's what she would do.

_Dear Shelby,_

_Thank you for your birthday message. I am on my way to my grandmother's house for Christmas, and then I will head to NYU on New Year's Day. So thank you for the good wishes. If you are celebrating Christmas for Beth, then I wish you both a Merry Christmas. I hope you also had a nice Chanukah. _

_While I am reluctant to allow myself to get my hopes up when it comes to your overtures, I agree with your assessment that a long-distance, email-contact relationship would seem to be a reasonable and safe start to get to know each other. I must admit that I am curious about so many things beyond standard medical histories to fill out at doctor's offices. _

_But most of all, right now I want to know why; why did you track me down only to give up when you found me? What was so wrong? Just because we didn't get that "running toward each other on a mountaintop feeling," you thought it would be better to abandon me again and replace me with Beth?_

_Not that I am mad at you for adopting Beth. I'm not. I think it is very noble to adopt a child. I just think it is ignoble to abandon one. An arranged surrogacy or adoption is one thing. What you did to me when I was 16 is another.._

_So please do take this opportunity to really explain it to me. Please explain why._

_Then we will go from there to determine how our relationship can continue._

_Sincerely,_

_Rachel Berry_

…

There, as she clicked 'Send', Rachel felt relieved and accomplished. She crossed the item off of her 'To-Do' list with dramatic flair. A flash of panic swept over her briefly as she second-guessed her message. Was she too harsh? If she was trying to make peace and have a relationship with Shelby for Noah's sake, then maybe she was too harsh. She could only hope that Noah would understand why she said what she did and that he would recognize that she had made an effort, whatever the outcome.

But she couldn't dwell on it, and she decided she believed in what she said in the email strongly enough that she didn't need to send a follow-up, explanatory email to Shelby.

No. She was moving on.

To the next item on the 'To-Do' list, that is.

…

Christmas sucked. For Puck at least. It was just another day when he felt like an outsider for not celebrating what nearly everyone else in town celebrated. But this year he was kinda hoping to spend it with Rachel—being un-Christmas-y together. Too bad he never knew that she ALWAYS went to her Christian grandma's house for all the Christmas-y stuff. So not only did her fine Jewish ass celebrate Christmas, she was doing it all the way in freakin' Cincinnati. And then she was going to her audition with that fuck bag Jesse St. James.

At least she was coming home between Christmas and her audition—so she would be conveniently in Lima for New Year's Eve.

Puck knew he had to make sure that they did something great—memorable and shit. So there'd be no way in hell her dads could convince her to take Jesse up on his obvious attempts to get back together with her. It couldn't just be a lame high school party like he usually did. Ok, so normally he thought those parties were awesome excuses to drink and fuck around. He could usually bag at least 1 chick (and usually 2 in one night) on New Year's Eve. It was like HIS holiday. But now he wanted it to be something cool with Rachel…especially since he didn't know if he'd get to spend another New Year's Eve with her after this year.

He deflated at the thought.

But he tried to focus.

What the fuck do you do when you're a couple on New Year's Eve?

Hotel room?

Hmm…

…

Rachel was anxious during her entire Christmas visit with her grandma. She and her dads attributed her behavior to nerves over her upcoming NYU audition, but she knew that wasn't the main source of her restlessness. She was worried about Noah—what he would do in her absence. Not cheating of course, but if he would find Jacob, and who knows what he'd do. She was also constantly fighting a knot of worry in her stomach over the reaction Shelby would have to her email. What kind of response would she give? Would she respond at all?

She just didn't enjoy the holiday and family time as much as she normally would.

Oh, and she had the strongest insatiable craving to fall asleep in Noah's arms.

Every night.

…

As much as she enjoyed her holiday visit in Cincinnati, Rachel was relieved to get back home for a few days to see Noah.

And Puck was psyched to reveal his surprise New Year's Eve plans to Rachel…so stoked that he didn't even consider the possibility that her dads might have other plans.

Luckily, Rachel was perfecting her manipulation skills and managed the miracle of convincing her dads that they should throw that party they always do. They wouldn't want Rachel in their way, and they shouldn't worry about their sweet daughter and her degenerate boyfriend.

Obviously Rachel's dads saw through their daughter's persuasive techniques, but they decided to let her make her own decisions this time and hope for the best. Maybe they could see how much Noah Puckerman really cared for her. Maybe they didn't like the idea of what they'd do together, but maybe they'd accepted the idea. Or maybe they really didn't want to cancel their plans to invite their friends over for a big party before their trip to New York with Rachel.

For whatever reason, her dads weren't stopping her from going to the hotel Noah had rented. Rachel was excited and nervous.

"So, do you want to go to a party first or anything like that?" she asked as she looked at the large bed in the middle of the room. She wasn't sure she wanted to deal with the stress of a party with the jock crowd, but she couldn't imagine what they'd do alone all night.

Or maybe she could.

She blushed.

Puck grinned wolfishly at her. "No I don't want to go to a party. The party's right here, baby," he said as he gestured crudely.

Somehow it was disgusting, cute, and hot all at the same time.

And when he grabbed her and playfully threw her on the bed, she stared into his eyes and could barely contain all the emotions she was feeling.

So she leaned up and kissed him, throwing her arms around him desperately.

He kissed her back just as urgently and was stripping off her clothes, his clothes, and pulling down the blanket on the bed. He wanted this to last forever, but he knew they had all night. So a quick and dirty round one seemed like just the thing.

His blood was pumping and so was hers. She was just as ready as he was. She was so hot, lying there naked in that bed. And it was all theirs. She was all his.

Rachel looked up at him staring down at her. "What is it?" she asked breathlessly, starting to bring her legs together.

He stopped her with his hand, placing it between her legs and stroking her like he could feel her pulse. She arched and moaned under his hand, and that just accentuated those perky little boobs.

He lowered himself on top of her, hand in place, and Rachel first felt his hard length against her abdomen before the perfect pressure of his mouth on her breast, circling, sucking, kissing, tugging, flicking. And his hand just kept going. She shuddered uncontrollably and wished she could make him feel this way.

Maybe she could.

She directed him gently away from the focus of his attention. She regretted it a bit, but she needed to take him in her mouth.

And then she needed him inside her.

He choked out a strangled cry when she first guided him to her lips.

"Shit. B. Damn," was all he said at first.

Rachel started to lose it a little until he said her name.

"Rachel, baby, you're, amazing, fuck."

He was still trying to get her going, let her keep her angle 'cause she was still working him good, and when he was about to explode it seemed like they were both ready for him to slip right inside her.

"Oh, Noah," she sighed as he penetrated her.

…

They almost missed watching the ball drop on tv to ring in the New Year.

They didn't really care.

"Happy New Year, Noah," Rachel smiled as she kissed him.

"Happy New Year, baby," he smirked before ducking under the covers to get going again.

…

They couldn't get enough of each other. The knowledge that their time together might be coming to an end sooner than they'd like was on their minds in more ways than one.

From the moment they woke up on New Year's Day, they clung to each other.

They kissed. They more-than-kissed. Again.

The phone in the hotel room rang.

"Expecting a call?" Rachel asked with a puzzled grin.

"No," Puck said, ignoring the phone.

"You should probably answer it," Rachel said, although reluctantly.

He nodded. "Hello?" He listened, said "Ok," and then hung up. "It's the front desk. We have to check out. I guess it's noon already, and they need to clean the room," he grumbled.

She felt like she wouldn't be able to breathe if she left him—that it was quite possible she had been made to be with him and all of the struggles and drama she had in her past (and with him) were just necessary steps to make her who she would become.

"I'm not ready to leave," she whispered, fighting back tears.

"Then don't," he whispered quietly but vehemently. "Just don't. Screw 'em."

He held her tightly in his arms and the world around them faded away in that moment.

…

Unfortunately, their moment was fleeting. A knock on the door an hour later forced them to check out.

And Rachel had to leave for her audition the next day.

Puck came by that night for a kosher-vegan dinner. It was as if the air was thick with an oppressive sense of loss for what they knew was coming. They tried to hide it. Puck was all supportive and Rachel was humble but optimistic.

But they both knew she'd get in.

And they both knew Puck wasn't going to New York.

"I'll see you soon, Noah," Rachel said softly.

"You know it," Puck said casually.

And that was their goodbye. For now.

…

Jesse St. James could feel the anxiety in the air when he met the Berry's at the airport. Mr. and Mr. Berry had more of a proud-but-nervous energy about them, but Rachel…there was something different about her demeanor. And this wasn't a girl who lacked confidence in her singing ability—she knew she was an amazing vocalist. So Jesse was understandably puzzled.

She wasn't still uncomfortable around him, was she?

He didn't want to admit that this was a highly likely possibility.

After the obligatory greetings, the group headed out to hail a cab and head to Jesse's apartment. Jesse explained that while more expensive, a cab would be more convenient with their luggage. Thinking of safety issues more than cost, the Berry men had no reservations about paying for a taxi.

They did have reservations about the plan for sleeping arrangements once they got to Jesse's high-rise. The St. James apartment was small, but tastefully decorated in a minimalist style with neutrals, whites, and bursts of color. It was a two-bedroom, but the second bedroom was being used as an office, and Jesse explained that he would give the Berry's the master bedroom. He would give Rachel the couch that folds out into a bed in the living room, and he would take the leather chair and ottoman in the office as his bed.

"What? No!" exclaimed Aaron at the plan. "We don't want you to give up your bed in exchange for a chair!"

Marshall continued. "And if you have to give it up because of your kind offer, we'd rather it be for Rachel so that she can get her proper rest before the audition."

Aaron nodded. "That's true, but maybe we should look into some alternatives…"

"I promise I've looked into your options already, and giving up my bed is perfectly ok," he said graciously.

"What if we just go buy an air mattress?" suggested Aaron. "We can set it up in your dining area. Then all of the guys will sleep out here, and Rachel will have peace and quiet in the bedroom."

"Oh, Dad, that's completely unnecessary," Rachel protested.

Jesse added, "And I'm not exactly sure where to tell you to go to buy an air mattress."

Marshall shook his head. "We're resourceful men, we'll investigate." Both were set on their mission and nothing could dissuade them. Rachel reluctantly put on her winter coat along with her dads.

"I think you should wait here, sweetie," Aaron told her. "It's awfully cold outside and we don't want to risk you getting a sore throat after we've come this far," he reasoned.

Rachel nodded and took off her coat, glancing at Jesse nervously. She wasn't expecting any time alone with him without her dads present. Not that she felt unsafe or anything like that, but she had assured Noah… "Are you two really sure you want to bother going out in this weather?" she asked.

They looked at each other and then back at her. "Yes, we'll be fine. And if we can't find what we're looking for within the hour, we'll be back so we can all have lunch."

"That sounds great, Mr. Berry," Jesse said as he held open the door. "Don't hesitate to call if you need help with directions or anything."

"Will do," Marshall nodded.

And they were gone.

Rachel bit her lip nervously, looked around, and then had a seat on the sofa. Then she started unzipping her bag. "Jesse, do you mind if I hang up my clothes somewhere so I can determine how much ironing I will need to do?"

"Of course I don't mind, Rachel. Allow me," he held out his hand to take the first item from her. "You can use my closet since it sounds like you'll be in my bed tonight."

Rachel blushed for no reason. Obviously his comment was very innocent. She tried to hide behind her hair.

Jesse chuckled. "So, are you feeling uncomfortable around me because of that Puckerman guy, or is he out of the picture?"

Rachel cleared her throat and then cursed herself in horror for committing that pre-audition sin. Jesse's blue eyes widened, and he rushed to get her a glass of water.

"Here, drink this, now!" he exclaimed worriedly, but with authority.

She nodded and obeyed, sitting down at a dining room chair. She knew she had to hydrate those precious vocal cords after her mistake. She was grateful for his quick thinking and hopeful that she hadn't just ruined her voice for tomorrow.

"So, without clearing your throat," Jesse started as he sat across from her, "you were about to tell me…"

"I was about to say that no, Noah is most certainly not out of the picture," she said defensively. "He is very much in the picture."

"I see…" Jesse said slowly. "So that's why you're so jittery right now, isn't it?"

She could tell by the look in his eyes that he already knew he was right. She didn't want to give him the satisfaction of a confirmation. "No, not at all. I have a very important audition tomorrow, as you know."

His look said _Yeah right_. But what he actually said was, "I don't understand what you see in him, Rachel, I really don't."

She was about to start listing qualities, but she realized Jesse was still talking.

"I don't even understand how you two ever started dating. When I went to McKinley I could tell he was…well…" He tried to come up with a tactful way to phrase his thoughts. "I could see he wasn't a good match for you and never imagined that you two would ever become…serious."

Rachel raised her eyebrow at him and crossed her arms. She contemplated not even dignifying his comment with a response, but then she decided she should practice—this was an explanation she might have to provide to more people at some point…people other than Kurt who knew way more details than she would ever give to Jesse.

She decided to start at the beginning, when Noah brought her a grape slushie, serenaded her, and they dated the first time. "After that, I suppose I always had a soft spot in my heart for him, but I thought that he was trouble."

"You were right," Jesse said evenly.

Rachel flipped her hair and continued with a haughty air, ignoring his comment. "And we were both in love with other people—or so we thought." Then she smiled softly. "But we found our way back to each other. I think we always do that."

Jesse grimaced a bit, then looked at her thoughtfully. "But you left out one part of the story."

Rachel blushed. "W-what do you mean?" _How could he know that she had propositioned her now-boyfriend after her then-boyfriend Finn had cheated on her with Santana_?

She was soon relieved to realize he didn't know that part.

"The part where you found out why Puck came to you with the slushie in the first place. Seemed really out of the blue. So what was the reason?"

She furrowed her brow as she thought about it. "I don't really know…" she said slowly. She wasn't sure what else to say.

That didn't satisfy Jesse. "So, you never asked him why he approached you?"

"Well, no…"

"And you were never curious?" he asked incredulously, his eyebrows revealing even more than his voice.

"Maybe I was at first…" she trailed off. She knew at the time that it hadn't really mattered to her why he suddenly had this change of behavior. She was confused by it, sure. But she was also thrilled. He was gorgeous and popular…and infamous for his behavior with the ladies. She had anticipated…hoped…that he wanted what he had wanted (make-out and more if he could get it). It was only after she felt guilty about liking it so much because of her less lustful feelings for Finn that she tried to put him off. And then he won her over. And then she felt guilty and her heart had felt divided again. It dawned on her that she could have fallen in love with him so much earlier, if she just would have let it happen. But maybe things worked out for the best…it was all so complicated…

Jesse was pointing to her face. "What's this? What's all this? Your expressions are changing all crazy like, but you're not saying a word. Are you figuring something out?"

She blushed and nodded. "You could say that. Nothing revolutionary though."

He shrugged. "Save revolutionary for next year," he grinned.

She smiled before she registered the hint of suggestiveness in his voice. As if _he_ would be revolutionary or something. She started to open her mouth to protest his arrogance until she realized he hadn't actually said what she was about to accuse him of saying—and it seemed best not to assume that she knew what he was thinking. She snapped her mouth closed.

Jesse went on. "It looks like you could use something to clear your mind before tomorrow's audition…" he paused before his face brightened. "I've got it! How about skating at Rockefeller? That's definitely on the must-do list for winter in your future city."

Rachel's eyes widened. No! She couldn't do that! She and Noah were supposed to go there together. She couldn't ruin that by going first with Jesse. She knew she had to turn down his offer. "The idea to clear my head is a good one, but it can't be ice skating, I'm sorry."

"It can't be ice skating," he repeated. "Why not?"

"I—I'm too at risk for injury with such an activity—and that would be a horrifying waste if I jeopardized my audition in any way."

He nodded and patted her hand sympathetically. "I understand. Ok, some non-active activities…that don't require reservations or tickets…that shouldn't be hard," he joked.

"It really shouldn't—this is New York," she enthused.

Jesse smirked at her. "How about we go around my neighborhood and figure out which places have the most appropriate pre-audition and post-audition dining?"

Rachel beamed. "Perfect!"

Jesse beamed back with pride. "Now we just have to wait for your dads. But we can start planning our route online. Sound good?"

She nodded.

Not long after they had come up with a plan, Aaron and Marshall were at the intercom for Jesse to buzz them into the building.

"Who's the man with the mattress?" Marshall asked with a smile as he and Aaron walked into the apartment.

"Daddy! I can't believe you two actually did it!"

"Believe it, sweetie," Aaron grinned. "That's where you get your 'can-do' attitude! We're winners, princess."

Rachel smiled, but she wondered how much of her attitude came from her dads and how much came from Shelby. But that's not what she wanted to think about now, so she shook off the approach of a bad mood, and announced the idea for their day.

Upon hearing Jesse's suggestion, the Berry's whole-heartedly agreed.

"Yes, it's best to eat an hour before your audition, but something that you know you tolerate well," Aaron said.

"What a great way to prepare!" Marshall exclaimed with a clap of his hands.

"It's settled then," Jesse said gallantly, as he stood up and offered Rachel his arm. "I'll guide you to the best vegan and vegetarian food this area has to offer."

Rachel smiled as she started to take his arm, but her smile faltered. She thought of Noah first—the way she felt when she took his arm. Next she thought about how well Jesse remembered her vegan philosophy—and how he had used it against her in such a cruel way those years ago.

Jesse reacted to her pause immediately by dropping his arm to pull out her chair—that way he wasn't being impolite, but he also didn't incite Rachel into some kind of drama queen scene—because she could do drama queen like no other.

…

The rest of the evening was enjoyable, but Rachel was still uncomfortable…about _everything_: the pressure she felt just from the looks on her dads faces to be perfect; Jesse's pleasant behavior given his past; a nagging feeling of guilt she couldn't define; and the feeling she _could_ define—the one that came because she missed Noah. She went through the motions of talking about vocal tips (like drinking plenty of water, avoiding acidic foods, and so on), but her mind was elsewhere and hopping frantically from one feeling to the next.

The only thing that calmed her down was her phone call with Noah at the end of the night. They got on Skype, and Rachel was grateful that he had stopped saying that video chat was kinda lame if she didn't give him a sex show. She knew that he was always half-joking about that, and it was nice to feel wanted…sexually. But it was also nice just to feel _wanted_.

…

The next day, after a snack at the Whole Foods (couldn't go wrong there) and Jesse's directions to the route via subway, the Berry's made it to NYU in plenty of time.

Rachel sang her heart out at the audition. She knew she nailed it. She _knew_ it. As she rushed out to meet her dads, her heart soared with elation and the anxiety she'd been suppressing.

They took one look and started beaming right back at her, the worry melting from their faces.

"We knew you would blow them away, princess," Aaron said as her squeezed her tight.

"No doubt about it," Marshall agreed as he hugged Rachel.

"How do you feel?" asked Jesse with a smirk.

Rachel was surprised to see him there. She paused before answering. "I feel…relieved."

They all looked at her perplexed. Jesse raised his eyebrow. "Not exactly what I was expecting to hear."

"And you're not who I was expecting to see," Rachel retorted, and then flushed with embarrassment. "Not that I'm not glad you're here," she tried to explain. "I just thought we'd see you back at your apartment."

"Couldn't stay away," Jesse grinned. "This occasion calls for a celebration. A night out on the town! And I'm the best tour guide you'll find."

Marshall clapped him on the back. "What a great idea, Jesse!"

"Yes," Aaron agreed. "Let's turn Rachel from relieved to the ecstatic that she should be! Let's soak up more of the culture of your future home!"

Rachel smiled, "Yes, of course, that sounds wonderful."

And it did.

So why did she feel that pinch in her heart?

She knew why.

Because now she had two dreams; and choosing one might mean she would lose the other.

…

**A.N. **Sorry again for the delay! Too many things going on to mention except that in addition to the good and the bad, we adopted two rescued puppies so I have a huge change in the way I can spend my time. Right now, "free time" is mostly puppy training time but it should get better gradually...Hope you'll hang in with me!

Next up for the story is nearing back-to-school time from their winter break ;) The whole story is intended to go through high school and into college if you'll stick with it! If you can't see yourself continuing if the delays between chapters are pretty long (which I'm expecting them to be for a while), then I'll try to wrap it up early. So again let me know in your reviews if I should finish the story as soon as I can and skip the "middle parts". Thanks!

**Contest question:** Which stars of Glee also guest starred on Veronica Mars? (To win, must be the first to answer and correctly identify all of the current stars of Glee who guest starred, not just one. Good luck!)


	23. Blush

**Ch. 23 Blush**

**A.N.** Congratulations to **ClassicArtsLover** for being the first to correctly answer the contest question! Honorable mentions go to **Shadowkitty22** & **acaudill0068** for also getting it right! For those curious, Jane Lynch played a teacher in Season 1 and Dianna Agron played a college student in Season 3 of Veronica Mars.

Sorry again for the delay! My laptop died and I finally got a new one but I was hoping I could salvage my old laptop's hard drive so I would have my outline and notes. Instead I had to do this chapter from scratch (even though of course the general story is in my head).

And to make up for slight lack of Puck in the last chapter, you get a lot of Puck's pov in this one.

Chapter title inspired by the song Blush by Plumb

**Warning:** Mature scene as expected for P/R reuniting after Rachel's New York audition (near the end of the chapter).

**Disclaimer:** I do not own glee or anything familiar.

…

It's not like she'd been gone that long, but Puck couldn't help wishing Rachel was already back. He fucking missed her so fucking much. Funny thing is that she'd been gone like two days, but he felt worse this time than he did when she was away for Christmas.

Well, maybe that wasn't true. Maybe New Year's Eve was just such a relief that he forgot how much the week before sucked. That was probably partly true. It was also probably true that the fact Rachel was with Jesse St. Douche totally made Puck feel like punching a hole through the fucking wall. He knew the Misters Berry liked that Fuckface-though why the fuck they didn't think egging their daughter was as fucked up as they should, he'd never fucking know.

Fuck.

He needed to make sure he didn't say 'fuck' too much when Rachel got back. He knew she didn't really like it much, but he especially didn't want to slip up in front of her dads.

Fuck.

He needed to get out of his head. Of course he'd been happy for her when she called him after her audition and went on and on about how great she thought it went. Of course. He honestly had been happy, which he told her. He said congrats and how he knew she could do it because she was stupid-talented-which he assured her meant awesome not stupid. He agreed to call it wicked-talented next time because of her love of Wicked. But as they were talking he heard Jesse say something in the background. He couldn't tell what it was, but Rachel laughed. Like a real laugh, not her fake laugh.

And it made Puck feel like shit. Especially when she said she had to go and she would call him after their celebratory dinner.

And yeah, she did call him later. With nobody else's voice to interrupt. They mostly talked about how much they both wanted her to be home. He'd wanted to be there with her. And he wanted her so badly, the craving for the feel of her was driving him insane. But he wasn't there. Instead, St. Fuckface was the one she saw after her audition. He was the one whose bed she was sleeping in (not with him of course, but still). And he was the one who would be there when she arrived to take NYC by storm.

Fuck.

...

He glanced at the clock. He was still like three hours early, but maybe he would just go to the airport. He wanted to see her ASAP and waiting around here wasn't calming him down any. Besides, maybe he should buy her flowers or some shit to congratulate her on the start of her new life.

The life that she deserved because it's what she always wanted. The life that was going to start in like half a year. The life that would be better without him...

Puck almost lost it. Maybe he should just break up with her now so it wouldn't suck so much later.

But then his phone went off. A text from Rachel. His phone background was a pic of the two of them when they went ice skating-she was so fucking beautiful. And then her little icon for text messaging-she was such a cheese-ball but so damn cute about it. Plus her message made him smile even though he was in such a shitty mood.

_We're boarding finally! Only about 3 more hours before I get to see you! I can't wait! Miss you soooo much! xxxxxoooooxxxxxoooo_

He was sure he had the stupidest damn grin on his face as he messaged her back.

_Miss u more. C u soon._

He just couldn't get rid of that tightness in his chest.

Puck sat there for a minute and then turned on the tv. It would be stupid to go to the airport now. Three hours early? What the fuck? That Jesse dude was fucking with his head-and the guy wasn't even around Rachel anymore. Puck needed to chill out and relax. She was coming home, to him. At least for now.

...

Sarah Puckerman didn't know what was up with her brother, but she had an idea. He was just sitting in the living room with the tv on, but he was staring at his phone.

"Waiting for Rachel to call?" she asked as she plopped down on the couch next to him.

"Nope," he answered, not bothering to even glance at her.

Sarah pursed her lips as she thought about it. "So you just talked to her?"

"Text."

"She's coming back today, right?"

"Yep."

She nudged him with her elbow. "Then why aren't you smiling? You should be happy!"

He grunted and shrugged. Sarah squinted at him as she tried to read his face.

"Hmm...let's see...maybe you wanted her to say something in the text that she didn't say, is that it?"

No response.

"You wanted her to say she missed you?" she asked in a sing-song voice.

Puck rolled his eyes. "She said she missed me," he mumbled.

Sarah paused and her eyes widened. She pointed her finger at him accusingly, playfully. "You wanted her to say she _loves_ you, didn't you?" she exclaimed, proud of her deduction.

Puck's head swung her way. "Hell no," he denied.

"I don't believe you!" she giggled.

"Like I care," Puck shrugged.

But Sarah caught the twitch in his left eye. She was so right!

"You do care! I'm so right!"

"Can't you just leave me alone?"

"Nope!" she grinned as she bounced on the couch. "I can help you!"

He glanced at his sister-her eyes were bright and she had one little dimple flashing as she smiled. For some reason she reminded him of Beth-maybe because there was a family resemblance. "Again, hell no! I don't need help from my pre-teen sister."

"I'm already a teenager, Noah, duh. I'll be in high school next year! I'm not as young as you think!"

"Well, you're as annoying as I think," Puck retorted lamely.

"Whatever," Sarah said as she crossed her arms, sulking a bit. She'd only wanted to help. She hardly ever even talked to her brother lately so when it seemed like they could actually do something again-before he left for college-she had gotten excited. Now she was disappointed.

Puck sighed. "I hope my daughter doesn't turn out as annoying as you," he muttered.

"Your daughter?" Sarah asked with a twitch of her nose.

"Uh yeah, _Beth_. You know, your niece? You're technically an aunt, remember?"

"Am I?" Sarah asked sincerely. "Does it count if I never get to see her and if she's been adopted?"

"Yeah, it counts!" Puck declared confidently, offended. But he wasn't really sure. _Does it count_? "You and Mom went with me to Cleveland over the summer, you know?"

"I guess... I don't really feel like an aunt. I don't really feel like you're a dad."

"Yeah, well, it doesn't matter how you feel. It's a fact. I have a daughter," Puck said sourly.

Sarah was frustrated by how badly the conversation was going. She actually felt relief when the doorbell rang.

"I'll get it!" she called as she jumped up to open the door.

"Sambourine!" she smiled. "I'm glad to see you!"

Sam was puzzled, and not just by the name she called him. "You are?"

"Yes. Come in. But I have to warn you that Noah is in a bad mood," she whispered as she ushered him into the house.

"She's right," Puck said. "I am in a shitty mood. S'up Sam?"

Sam ran his fingers through his hair before shoving his hands in his pockets. "I uh, didn't get to finish talking to you about that college stuff, and I remembered Rachel's coming back today so I wanted to talk to you before you were..." he glanced at Sarah, "...otherwise occupied."

Puck nodded.

"It's ok, Sam," Sarah said, lightly touching his arm and smiling conspiratorially. "I know about that."

Sam blushed deeply and jerked his arm away as he looked for the fury he expected to see in Puck's eyes. But Puck didn't seem to notice. Or maybe Sam was over-reacting.

"Anyway, it's about school stuff...and Quinn," Sam continued, glancing between Sarah and Puck.

"Oh that's right!" Sarah exclaimed. "You and Quinnevere are dating! We were just talking about Quinn, sorta. Actually we were talking about Beth."

Sam felt trapped. He was waiting for a sign from Puck that they would go to his room or something, but Puck just sat there staring at the tv. "Yeah...I need advice."

"Maybe I can help," Sarah said. "But first, do you remember my nickname?" She smiled coyly.

Sam blushed again and looked at Puck for help-he got nothing. "Uh...Saraphina?"

"Yes!" she laughed and clapped her hands. "You remembered!" She hugged him.

Sam stiffened and loosened her arms from around his waist. He stepped out of the hug, certain that had gotten Puck's attention.

It had.

"Sarah, what the hell?" Puck grumbled as he stood up from the couch. "Stop hanging all over Sam. Geez! First Finn, now Sam? We're going upstairs."

"But I can help with girl stuff!" Sarah protested.

"No," Puck barked as he stomped upstairs.

Sam followed and breathed a sigh of relief when he closed the door behind him.

Next Puck barked at Sam. "Well, what?"

"Uh...just a couple things...do you have that info about the music programs you applied to?"

"Oh yeah," he said more calmly. "I never emailed you, did I?"

Sam shrugged. "It's ok."

"You coulda just messaged me about that. So what else?"

"Well...I also want your opinion. On a few things..."

Puck looked at him impatiently and gestured for him to hurry up and say it.

Sam nodded. "Do you think I'd have a shot at a scholarship there, one? And two, do you think I can get Quinn to come? And three, if I do, do you think that'd be weird for you and for her because of Beth? And four, do you think if I can't get Quinn to go should I just go to OSU with her even though the music program isn't the same? And-"

"Shit, dude," Puck stopped him. He ran his hand over his mohawk anxiously. "How the fuck do you expect me to answer all of that? Or any of that really?"

Sam's shoulders drooped. "Yeah, you're right. Sorry, man."

Puck felt bad as he watched Sam reach for the door to leave his room. "Nah, it's ok. I guess I can just give my opinion, but I don't really know."

Sam's eyes brightened. "Yeah, of course. That's all I want."

Puck fidgeted. "The scholarship one-yeah, sure. You have a shot, but you gotta apply like now. I'm not even sure-you might have missed the deadline for the fall. I don't know." The look on Sam's face was so defeated, but Puck couldn't help it. He thought Sam was already a few months late for next year's fall scholarships. "What's the next question?"

"Quinn. Do you think she'll apply? We kinda had a fight about it at Rachel's party-maybe you remember?"

Puck nodded.

"Quinn wasn't happy about the idea of going to school in Cleveland. I don't think she wants any reminder of Beth, you know? I don't know if that's healthy. Or maybe it's better. Who am I to say? Maybe I should just go to OSU. Quinn was talking to Finn, and I'm sure Finn's going to OSU. Do you think they'd get back together?" Sam rambled.

"Dude, I'm pretty sure this conversation is going fine without me. I'm kinda planning on meeting Rachel at the airport, so..."

"Oh, sorry! Yeah, ok," Sam fumbled with embarrassment. "But do you think it's better to just go where she wants to go? You know, small sacrifice or whatever?"

For a moment, Puck wasn't sure if the subject was about Sam and Quinn or if it was about his own situation with Rachel. He was caught off-guard, but he managed a response. "Sam, man, we're in high school. Not the time to make sacrifices for a girl you'll probably end up breaking up with anyway."

The blood drained from Sam's face. The poor bastard looked completely shocked.

"It's harsh but true, dude. You gotta do what's best for you or else you'll regret it later." Puck decided he sounded wise and shit. He believed what he said too, so it wasn't like he was bullshitting. "This is some real advice, son," he told Sam with a nudge.

Sam looked at him skeptically. "So that's how you're dealing with things with Rachel? The girl you can't wait to meet at the airport? You're just doing what's best for you and she's doing what's best for her? And at the end of the year that's just it?"

"Yep," Puck said casually. More casually than he felt. He felt like a lead weight had dropped from his chest into his gut. He cleared his throat and continued. "We agreed on that when we first got together. We knew the deal. Shit, everyone knows Rachel Berry's gonna be on Broadway. And everyone knows I'm sure as hell not." Puck realized he was sounding less _casual_ and more _angry_.

"You seem really at peace with that, _Zen Master_," Sam remarked sarcastically, finishing it off in a highly inappropriate accent.

Puck shrugged. "Life's a bitch and then you die. So suck it up, apply to whatever fuckin' school you want, and wait until you find out if you're even accepted at Cleveland before you scramble your brains trying to figure out what that means for you and your HIGH SCHOOL GIRLFRIEND!" Puck took a breath to calm down. "Sorry, but I gotta go."

"Yeah, ok. Sorry for bugging you, Mr. Sunshine," Sam muttered. "But thanks for the advice I guess."

"You're welcome," Puck said sharply. "Don't flirt with my sister on your way out!"

Sam flipped him off. He toyed with the idea of loudly flirting with Sarah just to piss Puck off. But then he decided that could majorly backfire-she was just a kid and already seemed a little boy-crazy or something. Besides, Puck had probably given decent advice-honest advice. He was just in a bad mood, which Sam had already been warned of when he got there. He popped his head back into Puck's room.

"Thanks, Puck, for real. And good luck with Rachel. You're obviously not ok with everything, so I hope that it works out."

Puck nodded. "Yeah...thanks, Sam," he said with a hint of sadness that he tried to cover with a cough. "C'mon, I'll walk out with you. Gotta go to the airport."

...

Puck had an hour and a half drive to get to the airport, so he had time to calm down-and worry about being late. But flights are hardly ever early and surely he'd find something to buy for Rachel once he got there. Airports always have flowers, right?

When he saw a flower shop on the way, he stopped in. Better safe than sorry. He spent a little too much time choosing between different pink, purple, white, and yellow flowers. He finally decided that roses were the safest choice but to add a little flare he went for purple baby's breath instead of white.

He couldn't believe how gay he was being.

But he knew his dick was still there; he was aching to see Rachel.

And if the sight of him with roses helped get her wet and ready for him even with her dads standing right there, he was sure as fuck gonna spend the extra time and cash. Besides, she deserved a guy who'd show up at the airport with roses to tell her how awesome she is, ya know?

Fuck.

He was so fucking gay.

...

When he first spotted her, he smiled so hard he thought his jaw was gonna crack. When he caught her eye, he knew buying the roses was so worth it. Her eyes lit up, then her whole face just erupted into her brilliant smile, and he could hear her musical laughter all the way across the terminal. He was as close as he could get since he couldn't go past the security line. Rachel was practically skipping toward him. It seemed like she couldn't really run with the bags she was carrying and the ridiculous jumper dress thing she was wearing, but she couldn't contain herself to walk.

He let out a laugh. Just the sight of her made him…happy. Everything he'd said to Sam disappeared from his mind. Who could think about shit like that when _she_ was looking at him with those eyes? With that smile? She jumped into his arms, bags and all, and he was knocked back a few steps with the force. The roses were probably getting squashed.

But her arms wrapped around him and her lips lightly kissing his-so fucking good.

Rachel melted in his arms. To see him from afar like that, holding those roses so sweetly with that smile on his face, had compelled her to erase the distance between them as quickly as possible. To be separated by any space for any longer was unthinkable. And so she crossed the distance as fast as she could.

_He was hers_.

The thought made her heart soar and simultaneously set her mind at ease. Just the look on his face told her that's how he felt.

Her dads coughing their unspoken disapproval for this public display of affection brought Rachel sliding back down to the ground. As her toes touched the floor she leaned up for another kiss.

"Hello," she breathed. His eyes were so beautiful and green-she felt like she was the only thing he could see. She blushed and felt her body tingling for him.

"Hey, Rach," he said in a low voice. "Missed you. So glad you're back."

The sound of his voice was too sexy for the middle of the day in front of her dads. "Mmm, missed you too," she smiled. She couldn't stop smiling. And blushing. And tingling.

"These are for you," he said as he held out the slightly crumpled roses. He felt his ears burning a bit with his awkwardness. He wondered where his smoothness went. But it didn't matter. He knew that with her he didn't have to act any way for his reputation or any of that shit. He could just...be. It's like she was...his safety...his home.

Rachel beamed as she took the small bouquet. "Thank you, Noah! These are beautiful! You shouldn't have!"

"They are lovely," Aaron Berry agreed.

Puck shifted and looked over at Rachel's dads. "Thanks. I had to congratulate you for kickin' ass and takin' names at your audition. I mean, kickin' butt. I mean, for being your amazing self." He cursed himself for acting like an idiot.

Her dads didn't seem to mind the whole "ass" thing too much, and Rachel was still smiling and glancing between the roses and back to him, so Puck figured it was ok.

"I can carry this and we can go get your bags and stuff," Puck said, holding out his arm to take Rachel's carry-on bag.

"Oh, we only brought carry-on luggage, so we're ready to go to the parking lot," Marshall Berry explained.

"Cool. Well, since I drove out here, I could drive Rachel home, if that's alright with you, sirs."

Aaron and Marshall exchanged glances but agreed. "Just bring her straight home please."

"Sure thing," Puck agreed immediately.

Rachel let out a little squeal of joy. "Thank you, Dad, Daddy! See you at home!"

Puck led Rachel to where he was parked in short-term parking while Marshall and Aaron headed to long-term parking to get their car. With some mental calculations, Puck figured that if he sped home and considering the extra 10 minutes it was probably taking her dads to get in and out of long-term parking, he and Rachel probably could have 20 minutes to themselves. When he shared this with Rachel, she agreed for the first time ever that he was permitted to drive faster than the 5 mph over the speed limit. He ended up going about 90 on I-75-except where it seemed like there was still ice from the last storm. Then he slowed his ass down.

"So, we have a pretty long drive," Puck told her. "Anything you wanna tell me about your trip that we haven't already talked about?"

The answer was yes. Rachel gushed about New York, NYU's campus, the places to eat and shop in the area, and of course Broadway. Some of it she had already told him, but he didn't bother pointing it out.

She seemed so happy; Puck couldn't help smiling even though he couldn't honestly say that he was thrilled to be reminded of what was around the corner. But…he could totally picture Rachel there in New York; he could imagine her in the middle of it all. That felt right.

He grinned at her and wrapped his arm around her, pulling her close to him.

He needed her to be close to him.

And it seemed like Rachel couldn't keep her hands off of him. It started with a hand on his knee. He smirked and put his hand on her knee-until he had to avoid some ice on the interstate and put both hands on the steering wheel. Next time he glanced at Rachel, she bit her lip and moved her hand up his thigh.

His pants immediately tightened has his cock had expectations that his brain knew could not possibly be met. They were in a car. He was driving. It was winter with slightly icy roads. No way in hell would Rachel do anything more than rub his leg.

Right?

Wrong.

_Holy hell_.

Puck was surprised (pleased and impressed) when she ran her hand _this close_ to his package, then up to his chest, and at the same time she started nibbling on his earlobe.

Fuck.

He swerved the car a little.

"Is this too distracting?" she whispered in his ear.

She had to know damn well that it was distracting.

"No…it's good," he managed to say.

Because it was.

And he was up for the challenge of concentrating on the road while she was teasing him and his throbbing dick.

"Bring it," he smirked. "Whatever's gotten into you, B, I like it."

"You. You've gotten into me," she breathed as she kissed his neck and managed to slide her hand under his shirt.

"I'm _gonna_ get into you," he promised. "I wish we could fuck and drive—hell, we probably could if the roads weren't so damn slick."

Rachel looked totally offended. "And if it weren't broad daylight!" she exclaimed.

"So at night then?" he asked playfully, but hopefully.

"Noah!"

He smirked. "That's my name! And that wasn't a No!"

She rolled her eyes but she was smiling. "I'm not that kind of girl."

"Well, the bruise I've got on my neck already says you're lying!"

She blushed. She was lying. She probably was that kind of girl. He made her crazy for him. She squeezed his thigh. "Just drive fast. I need you to be inside of me."

Fuck.

He was glad he didn't run into any cops along the way as he tore down the streets with a boner and a girl more-than-ready to ride.

…

They couldn't get into her house fast enough. When she fumbled with her keys Puck thought he might have to just carry her back into his truck and do her there first because getting into the house was taking too damn long. Just as he was about to seriously throw her over his shoulder to do just that, she got in and disabled the security system.

"Thank fuck," he sighed as he set her luggage in the foyer.

She turned and smiled. She didn't scold him or whatever for his language. She just launched herself at him. This time, she dropped her purse on the floor and wrapped her legs around his waist.

"Where?" he asked when he wrenched his mouth away from hers for a moment.

"Here," she whispered, rubbing herself against him.

"What about your dads?"

She looked slightly annoyed by the pause in the action and glanced around. "My room." She grabbed his hand and swooped up her bags. At the puzzled look he gave her she replied, "Plausible deniability." When the puzzled expression didn't fade, she added, "This way we can at least say you were helping me unpack in my room."

Puck nodded. He should've known that one. He was the master at lying and getting away with sexcapades. But being with Rachel…sometimes he couldn't think straight. "How much time do you think we have?" he asked. Then he was silenced by the sight of her stripping off her clothes as she made it to the top of the stairs.

"Enough," she shrugged before she bent down to pick up the skirt thing she had shimmied out of.

And fuck did he get a good show of her boobs as she bent over—he could almost see... He realized he needed to be getting naked too when she started doing the job for him. "Thanks for the help," he smirked.

"Less talking, more kissing," she demanded firmly before she smiled flirtatiously.

Fuck.

Obviously he kissed her and shut the fuck up.

She took him in her hand (which wasn't necessary because he was already rock-hard) and then in her mouth (which was awesome but nearly made him lose it). And before he got to work his magic on her, she pushed him—yeah pushed him—down onto her bed and climbed on top of him.

And oh fuck when she slid over him and started quivering right away, he had to dig his nails into his palms to stop from blowing his load. They were in a hurry, yeah, but not _that_ big of a hurry. He did not leave his lady unsatisfied!

As he thrust into her ever-so-slightly, he was mesmerized by the bounce of her tits—Shit, he had to take that bra off—what was he waiting for?

A quick flick and that fucker was on the floor and those nips were free—free for him to lean up and kiss and more.

"Oh, Noah," she moaned and shook as he teased her with his tongue.

The contraction rocked him too. They were both so close to release already. He held her tightly as he positioned himself. "Rachel…" he breathed into her hair before kissing her and giving a deep thrust.

She gasped.

And they both crumbled.

…

Her hair was all messed up and her face was all flushed and she looked amazing. He wished she wasn't rolling out from under his arm in a panic because she heard her dads pull into the garage.

But he got his ass in gear and got dressed. No sense in being caught in a lie even if her dads _had_ to know that at least _something_ had gone on.

But it's not like he didn't follow their orders.

He took her straight home.

He wasn't surprised when they didn't let him stay for dinner. He just nodded, kissed Rachel goodbye, and told her he'd see her later.

She smiled and blew him a kiss.

He winked.

...

…

Shelby Corcoran had nearly lost hope that Rachel would respond to her email by the time she received (checked) the reply. She had gotten busy with the holidays, with Beth, but she had the strange feeling she was forgetting something. A glance at her calendar reminded her that Rachel was auditioning at NYU this month, and Shelby had a flutter of hope that just maybe she would see an email from her after her audition. She was surprised to see that the reply from Rachel had been sitting in her inbox for some time and had been sent _before_ the audition. After the surprise came the sinking feeling of guilt—knowing that she hadn't responded to the email from her biological daughter because she had been caught up with her adopted daughter. She felt the urge to react more immediately than by email. She needed to _talk_ to Rachel.

She knew she had the Berry's home number someplace… But when she found it, her hand was shaking. She couldn't bring herself to call. Maybe if she just had Rachel's number it would be easier. Maybe. Beth was napping, so Shelby decided to reply by email, offer her cell phone number, and request Rachel's if she was willing. It wasn't until then that she actually read Rachel's message.

At first Shelby was nodding along to Rachel's email, of course she was skeptical and reluctant, but Shelby was glad to see Rachel's willingness to stay in contact over email. Then she got to the part of the email that hit her like a ton of bricks.

_But most of all, right now I want to know why; why did you track me down only to give up when you found me? What was so wrong? Just because we didn't get that "running toward each other on a mountaintop feeling," you thought it would be better to abandon me again and replace me with Beth?_

Shelby should have known it was coming, but she was completely unprepared. She felt stung, like a blunt object was piercing her chest, threatening her heart. The last time they saw each other they both seemed to ignore this issue so well—so well that Shelby thought she could avoid it altogether and just start over. She wanted to explain, she did, but everything seemed inadequate after she read Rachel's words. How could she explain it to Rachel when she couldn't even explain it to herself?

Her palms were clammy and her throat was dry, but Shelby knew she had to try. Especially considering the way Rachel ended her email:

_So please do take this opportunity to really explain it to me. Please explain why. Then we will go from there to determine how our relationship can continue._

…

Shelby was still sitting at her computer when she heard Beth waking up from her nap. She would have to finish her message tonight after Beth went to bed.

…

_Dear Rachel,_

_You are right that what I did was wrong. I know that I shouldn't have tracked you down and used Jesse to help me. I know that you're right that this wouldn't have been such a terrible thing if I hadn't gotten scared and left. I wanted to erase what I had done but I knew I couldn't. _

_I can almost hear your questions, so I'll do my best to answer them. Then I hope that we can talk more directly by phone. I'm including my phone number in my contact information, and I hope you will consider including your cell phone number too._

_I need to explain what I wanted to erase. It was a feeling of profound sadness and loss for missing out on all of those years of your life. I didn't think I'd feel that way because I knew from the beginning of the arrangement that I would miss out—that was the plan. I'm good with plans and rules and order. But no plan can prepare you for giving up your child, even under the best circumstances and the best intentions. I always wondered about you, and then I'd push those thoughts away. I needed to live my life and I wanted you to be able to live yours with the fathers who love you. I needed to force myself to respect their wishes. Then when I saw you the first time for choir, I saw how much you look like me, how you seemed to be so much like me. I couldn't help myself. I had to know you then, not after waiting 2 years for some agreement to expire. That desire fueled me for nearly a year until you finally approached me. I truly was expecting a joyous reunion—naïve of me, I know now. But when I finally met you, I was overwhelmed completely by my sense of loss—it was crushing me. Every time I looked at you, every time I thought about how your dads got to be the ones to sing you to sleep; I felt like I was dying._

_That may sound overly dramatic, but remember where you get that from—it's not just from your dads. You and I are very emotional, I believe. If you're like me, you feel everything very strongly, but you learn to control your emotions because people tell you not to act on them. Right now I just want to hold you and tell you that everything is alright—that it's ok to show your emotions. You have a right to your emotions and people around you can react however they react. The words aren't coming out the way I want them to; I feel like there are so many things to say._

Shelby almost deleted the lines, but she decided that maybe Rachel would understand.

_What I mean is that realizing what I had lost was so hard to bear that I took the coward's way out and ran. When you told me that your friend had just given birth to a baby girl, I thought you were telling me what I should do next. If I couldn't be your teacher (and mother), then maybe I could help your friend and have a chance to be there in all of the ways I wasn't able to be there for you. You smiled and a light went on in my mind. I didn't pause to think that maybe I was misinterpreting your smile—I should have known we'd both smile even when our hearts break. I didn't stop to think that maybe there would be consequences once again for rushing into an emotionally-driven decision. _

_That's another way that we may be alike. We find comfort in making and following plans, but we can also let our emotions rule our actions before we stop to weigh the consequences. I hope you are better at making choices than I am. I want to be there to help you._

_I'm very relieved to hear that you are not angry that I adopted Beth. As I watch Beth grow, I think about you every day. Every day. I wish I would have made a different arrangement with your fathers from the start. I thought it would be better to forget, to leave you to your new family. I didn't realize how impossible that would be. I wish I hadn't given into my urge to go to extremes to track you down. But most of all, I wish I hadn't given into the fear and sadness. I wish I hadn't given up before we even had a chance._

_So I'm asking for a chance: a chance to get to know you, not as the "Mom" I signed away my rights to be but as your biological mother who desperately want to know you and maybe even be your friend. My hope above hopes is that you will keep the door open—the door you opened when we met. I ran away then. I'm knocking to be let in now. Whatever you decide, I will respect your decision._

_Most sincerely,_

_Shelby_

...

Rachel was cheerfully going through her rituals to prepare to switch from vacation/audition mode to back-to-school mode. She had the most glorious, blush-worthy reunion with the sexiest, most wonderful boyfriend in the entire world. She smashed out all the pointless worry in her heart and let herself just enjoy being happy and hopeful that maybe, just maybe, things would work out.

She had always had optimistic tendencies.

To face what she had gone through and still keep getting up every time she was knocked down, a girl had to be a little bit of an optimist.

She hummed as she assessed her wardrobe with her new items from the holidays. She assessed her supplies and organized her binders. She went through the checklist on her computer. Rachel looked forward to returning to school each semester, but this was her last semester. It meant so much more than before...it meant...the beginning of an end…or maybe the beginning of a beginning?

She was preparing to write some overdue journal entries about her latest experiences-the NYU audition was a necessity for her future autobiography. She decided to skip ahead and write about another important life event before she couldn't capture the moment any longer—the part where she felt the jolt of electricity and the certainty that Noah _must_ love her too—the look in his eyes when she saw him at the airport. The right words to describe his particular and striking eye color were escaping her.

_Honey-green_?

She frowned.

That sounded like the product of a sickly bee.

She smiled a little at her cleverness, but frowned again when she couldn't come up with a better description of the colors swirled in his eyes and the way something about his expression left her with a feeling in her bones that they were two people in love—that she wasn't the only one who felt it so strongly.

To inspire her prose, she thought it would help to look through the pics on her computer. That's when she noticed the email.

Shelby had replied.

_It took her long enough_, Rachel thought as she took a deep breath. She was glad she hadn't bothered to check her email earlier. Whatever was in the message might have put her in a mood that would have made it hard to completely enjoy her time with Noah.

But Noah wasn't here now. She was alone.

And it was time to see if Shelby could satisfactorily justify her actions.

...

**A.N. **So sorry of course for the delays. Crazy stuff IRL. I'm probably going to continue to be slow, but I'm hoping to get back to an update every 2-3 weeks. The next chapter will be back at school so we'll see more of the other gleeks again.

To everyone I owe review replies, messages, emails, tweets, etc., that is next on my list, promise!

**Contest question:** Besides Veronica Mars, which **show** employed both the lead in Veronica Mars and several actors/actresses who have been leads and guest stars in glee?

**Bonus question:** Name all of the glee actors/actresses (regulars and guests) who were part of that **show**.

First correct wins a prize of course! (Could be 1 winner of 2 prizes or 2 winners)


	24. Here is a Heart

**Ch. 24 Here Is A Heart**

**A.N.** I have more contest winners than usual because I had one show in mind (_Heroes_), but I didn't specify that I wasn't thinking of Glee crossover appearances, so another show (_The Cleveland Show_) also fit my clues with the same large number of stars! Congrats to **vickay** for being the first to review & answer the contest question for _Heroes_, and to **mayan0221 **for being the first to name all of the correct stars for _Heroes_ (in addition to Kristen Bell: Jayma, Dianna, Jessalyn, Stephen Toblowsky, Kenneth Choi)!

Congrats to **Tashah04** for getting the question and bonus for _The Cleveland Show_ (in addition to Kristen Bell, Jane, Matt, Lea, Cory, Chris lent their voices)! Honorable mentions for answering _Heroes_ to** Fuinn123**, **elemaria91**, **kaelaelameee**, **Shadowkitty22, Maiqu**; and for answering _Cleveland_ to **Stupid Fat Kid**!

**Notice:** A bit of smut in first half of the chapter.

Chapter title and song used is _**Here is a Heart**_ by Jenny Owen Youngs. Add the following to the youtube address or find the full link in my author profile. /watch?v=GR0HAIsufxg

**Disclaimer: **I don't own glee or any songs. Any things that eerily resemble the show are actually coincidental. I had already written the outline and several parts in advance, and I _really_ didn't plan to imitate the glee writers! But this story's path was set long ago even if it's taking me forever to write it!

...

Rachel was startled by a knock on her bedroom door. She had been sitting at her desk, stunned by her emotional reaction to the email from Shelby. Her hand was frozen on her phone. Should she call her? But now she set down her phone and wiped the tears from her eyes.

"Come in!" she called as she minimized the email on her computer screen and got up to answer her door. Rachel didn't want her dads to see the email from Shelby yet. She wasn't sure why they were knocking, but she was glad they respected her privacy enough to knock for whatever it is they wanted now. She was surprised to see Kurt burst into her room, scolding her.

"Rachel Berry, you've been home for hours and haven't called me to tell me all about your audition? Shame on you!"

She flashed a wide show smile. "Sincere apologies, Kurt," she said as she pulled herself together. She continued crisply, "As you might imagine, the experience was quite eventful, so I wanted to record my memories in my diary for posterity."

Kurt smirked. "Of course you did. Well, spill those eventful details!" he exclaimed as he pulled her into a hug and grabbed her hands, leading her to sit on her bed.

Rachel paused as she thought about how the most eventful thing to her right now was the email on her computer screen. Should she tell Kurt about it? Get his opinion about what to do? Or would Noah be hurt if she told anyone but him first? Or maybe guys aren't really that sensitive. The thoughts flashed through her mind as she glanced back at her computer to see if Kurt could read the email from where they were sitting. She needed more time to consider what to do, so she wouldn't bring up Shelby to Kurt, who was staring at her expectantly.

She bit her lip nervously, "There's so much to tell, I hardly know where to start," she finally said.

"Well, skip all the boring parts and get to part where you're in New York! No, skip some of that because I don't care about that heinous Jesse St. James, unless something juicy happened there..." He paused until the crinkle of Rachel's nose confirmed what he already knew. "Right, so start by telling me everything about the audition! Was NYU fabulous? I can't wait to get back to New York!"

Rachel smiled as she let herself relax a little and enjoy the feeling of friendship as she dished about New York and her excitement. It had taken a long time to build her relationship with Kurt and sometimes they still could be on thin ice with each other. Wrapped up in her own drama, she barely noticed the way Kurt's eyes glazed over and his knee started shaking impatiently.

"Well Rachel, while I hate to cut you off from describing every excruciating detail of your trip, I think you've hit the highlights, right?"

She blushed. "Most of them," she acquiesced somewhat defensively.

"And...isn't there anything you'd like to ask me?" Kurt prompted.

She furrowed her brow in puzzlement. "Ask you?"

"Rachel! You haven't even asked me about my Christmas vacation!"

"Oh! I didn't think..." she paused as she realized she didn't even think about asking him if he had done anything interesting. She really was too self-involved right now to give Kurt's latest exploits any thought at all.

"You didn't think to ask me about my college applications and auditions at all, but I forgive you because I know you have your own to think about too," Kurt started.

"Oh Kurt, I'm so sorry! I'm a terrible friend!" she cried out dramatically. "Forgive me?"

"Already done," he dismissed her concern with a flick of his hand. "But I did have something...of significance happen to me while you were gone..." he finished cryptically.

"You did? What?" Rachel asked, already mesmerized.

Kurt leaned closer to her on the bed. "I haven't told Blaine yet and I need your opinion..." Kurt took a deep breath.

Rachel was pleased he was coming to her for advice, she squeezed his hand. "Of course," she whispered excitedly.

"I hung out with Dave!" he enthused, a light flush coloring his cheeks.

"Dave?" Rachel asked, confused.

"Yes, DAVE!" He rolled his eyes at her cluelessness. "_Karofsky_! Dave Karofsky!"

Rachel gasped. "What? Where? When? Why?"

Kurt rolled his eyes. "You forgot to ask 'How' with your set of question words."

"Well, start answering, Mister!" Rachel exclaimed.

"So...it's not that big of a deal really," Kurt said, suddenly playing it cool. But his eyes shone and his lips twitched as he suppressed his grin.

Rachel just raised her eyebrow and waited impatiently.

Kurt continued. "I just ran into Dave at the mall when I was looking for an anniversary gift for Blaine."

"Ok...so things are still going well with you and Blaine, right?" Rachel asked uncertainly.

"Of course!"

"Then why are you so excited about running into Karofsky? Did something happen?"

Kurt huffed. "I'm glad I tested this story out on you first," he grumbled.

"Please continue, Kurt," Rachel cajoled.

"Ok, so to answer your question, no, nothing really happened. We just talked for a little while and he walked with me to pick out a gift for Blaine, and then we hugged when he left." Kurt bit his lip and waited for Rachel's reaction.

"That doesn't seem so bad. Why are you telling me before you tell Blaine?"

"I just...have been avoiding any drama. He's just so...jealous and weird about my friendship with Dave. It seems to be one of the only issues in our relationship-besides the whole friendly-romantic competition thing. So I wanted to find out what you thought about my little encounter. If it's nothing major, then it shouldn't matter if I tell him or not, right?"

"Kurt..." Rachel started reluctantly. "I think that honesty is the best policy. If something like that had happened to Blaine, wouldn't you want him to tell you?"

Kurt puckered his lips sourly. "Maybe. Maybe not. Sometimes what you don't know can't hurt you," he reasoned.

"Is there something you're not telling me?" Rachel asked in a rare moment of perceptiveness.

Kurt blushed and paused while he considered the consequences of saying more. Finally he spoke, "The crazy thing is that when we hugged, I felt this...warmth and tingling...And that was followed by guilt," he finished, ashamed.

Rachel gaped at him.

"Do you think that means I have _feelings_ for _Dave Karofsky_?" he asked in a panic. "I mean, I don't think I do, and I know I feel amazing with Blaine and we have all of these plans together. But then I had this..._reaction_...to a _hug_..."

Rachel considered her answer carefully. "Now I see why you are reluctant to talk to Blaine about this. You want to work it out for yourself first, right?"

Kurt nodded, relieved to feel her understanding.

She continued. "I would like to think that you can have feelings of _affection_ for more than one person at a time, but that your feelings for one person will win out and overshadow your feelings for everyone else." She inhaled shallowly as she thought about Noah...and Quinn. She was certain that he would always have feelings for Quinn at some level, but she hoped that she was correct to think that all of his actions showed that she had won his heart away from Quinn now. She knew that Noah had won her heart away from Finn easily, but even back when her hurt was only just starting to fade from Finn's betrayal she could still feel lingering _friendly_ affection for Finn...and the _idea_ of him...during the time her feelings for Noah grew. She didn't say most of this to Kurt, but what she said conveyed her feelings well enough.

"Wow, that's...pretty profound, Rachel Berry," Kurt said. "I'm genuinely impressed! And glad that I came to you first."

Rachel smiled. A real smile. "I'm glad you did too," she said as she gave him a hug.

"So just because I had some feelings about Dave, it doesn't mean I don't love Blaine. That's what you're saying, right?"

"Right," she confirmed.

"And so I don't have to tell him, right?" Kurt pushed.

Rachel squirmed. "Well...that is up to you...but I think you should tell him."

Kurt hung his head. "Ok, ok. Thanks, Rachel."

"You're very welcome. Thanks for telling me, Kurt. And thanks for being my friend even when I can be difficult and self-absorbed."

Kurt bit back the insult about her constant state of self-absorbance and nodded. "You're welcome."

As Kurt left, she thought about her own dilemma: what to say to Noah about the email from Shelby. She decided she probably should take her own advice to figure out for herself how to respond to Shelby and then tell him. Just as she sat down in front of her computer, she heard a quick knock followed by her dad's voice, "You have another visitor, dear."

Rachel wondered why this visitor was escorted while Kurt was able to come right up to her room. It surely wasn't Noah—her dad would just say his name, not "another visitor". She opened her door to see her dad standing next to Sam Evans. He looked down at her with a sheepish grin and his hands in his pockets.

"Hey, Rach, do you have time to talk?" He glanced sideways. "We can talk downstairs or wherever you want, Mr. Berry."

Aaron gave his daughter a look to try to assess her comfort level. "You can talk up here as long as that's ok with you, Rachel."

"Of course, thank you, Dad."

"Just keep it quick, it is rather late," Aaron Berry said pointedly.

"Oh, sorry about that!" Sam exclaimed sheepishly. "I wanted to wait until I thought Puck would be finished. I mean, gone! Er, done catching up with Rachel..." Sam fought the urge to slap his forehead for his stupidity.

Rachel blushed and Aaron raised his eyebrow and pursed his lips as he stared hard at Sam. Fearing that her dad thought Sam was there as more than friends, she had to correct that assumption. She also wanted to deflect the awkwardness of Sam's (accurate) implication about how she spent her time with Noah. "It's ok, Dad. Sam's dating Quinn Fabray, remember?"

"Yes, I remember. Just be brief," Aaron nodded and headed downstairs, leaving the door open. He was glad that Rachel was making friends, but a little disconcerted that most of her social callers were males. He wished she had at least one 'best girl friend', but he told himself she would have to make new friends in New York anyway, so he should count their blessings.

It was Sam's turn to raise his eyebrow. "You talk to your dad about that stuff? Like who's dating and stuff?"

"Well, it was obvious who dated whom at my party that Jacob ruined. But yes, I do talk to my dads about that stuff." (For a while, they were the only ones she had to talk to, but she didn't reveal that embarrassing fact.)

"Weird," Sam said casually.

Rachel bristled a bit but her curiosity overwhelmed the mild offensiveness of his comment. "Sam, what brings you here? This must be something that couldn't wait until school starts," she noted.

Sam shrugged, then nodded. "Uh, yeah, it's just some stuff that's been bothering me, and I talked to Puck earlier but I'm not sure if he really believes what he said…So I want to get your opinion."

Rachel fidgeted nervously. "Something has been bothering you? About Noah? Or me? Or both of us? Is it about kissing in school again?" she rambled. "I'm sure we can try to reduce our displays of affection next term if that's still upsetting you."

"What? No, no, nothing like that. It's not about you. It's about me…and Quinn…and college."

Rachel sat down on her bed primly and gestured for Sam to sit. This seemed like it was important to him, and even though she could see that he was upset about something, a part of her was pleased that he considered talking to her about it. "I must say that I am surprised that you've come to me."

"Well, I was thinking about stuff, and it seems like Quinn doesn't have any friends that I can trust who wouldn't want to hurt her," Sam admitted. "That's why I came to you."

Rachel was momentarily shocked.

Sam took her silence as an indicator that he needed to explain. "See, most of the girls who seem like they're friends with Quinn are more like frenemies or whatever. They like to hang around her, but they'd also love to see her upset or have bad stuff happen to her, you know what I mean? I think that's how it is sometimes for the popular girls."

Rachel blushed and then spoke carefully. "Do you really think I'm the best person to come to though? I actually hurt Quinn too, you know. It was in the past, and I harbor no ill will toward her, but…we have a…tangled history."

Sam shrugged away her concern. "But this isn't about Finn or a guy. Well, not exactly. It sorta is. But still, I trust you, Rachel," he said earnestly.

With his clear blue eyes pleading, Rachel felt her heart surge. "Then I will prove to you that your trust is well-placed in me," she declared. "Please tell me about your concerns."

Sam looked relieved. He told Rachel about his dilemma between going to OSU where Quinn wants him to go and going to a devoted music program, possibly in Cleveland. "She's already said she doesn't want to go to Case Western or Cleveland Institute of Music, but I sorta wonder if that's mostly because she doesn't want to be closer to Beth. So I don't know if I should stop pushing her because that's like a really big deal and I don't know what's right. I don't know how to deal with the whole baby-adoption-issue on top of the college-choice-issue."

As Sam was talking, Shelby's email echoed in Rachel's mind. Maybe Quinn would want to know what Shelby wrote—it could make a difference in her decision to stay cut off from her daughter's life.

Sam continued. "Or should I just do what's best for me and not try to get Quinn to go where I go or factor her into it at all. That's what Puck said."

That grabbed Rachel's attention. "What?" she squeaked.

Sam looked like he'd been caught saying something he shouldn't. "Uh…he said that we're in high school so it's stupid for me to plan my life around Quinn or whatever. He said I should at least see if I get into CIM before I get worried about it."

Rachel looked down. "Oh, that's very sensible."

"Yeah," Sam agreed, but he noticed Rachel's discomfort. He put his hand on her knee and she looked up at him. "He _said_ that, but at the same time he seemed pretty upset that I brought up the fact that you're going to New York for school. And he was falling all over himself to go meet you at the airport." He gave her knee a final pat in an attempt to be reassuring.

It must have worked a little because he could tell that Rachel had a small smile threatening to break through her serious expression.

"Really?" she asked. Then she cursed silently for focusing on herself again instead of her friend who (randomly, miraculously) came to her for help.

"Really," Sam confirmed with a smile. "And that's why I thought maybe you'd have good advice. Puck was distracted by the fact that you were coming home...like 3 hours from when I stopped by, but still...he was distracted and in a bad mood about something even before I got there. Clearly you two are pretty into each other and the idea of separating for college totally sucks for both of you, but you seem to be dealing with it. So should I deal with separation? Should I go where she wants to go? Should I try harder to get her to go where I want to go?"

Rachel took a deep breath. She wasn't sure if she should share Shelby's words with Sam because of their relation to Quinn. Quickly she decided that she shouldn't say anything before she talked with Noah. He might have his own feelings about convincing Quinn to go to college in Cleveland.

She just hoped she could handle his answer.

And maybe Quinn deserved to know Shelby's words next.

In any case, Sam probably was not the first person she should talk to about them. So she held back. "This is a very complicated situation, Sam. Can I think about it and talk to you later?"

Sam cocked his head. Weird. Not what he was expecting. "Uh ok, sure. Do you think we can try to talk again before school starts? I can only hold off on this stuff for so long."

"You mean you haven't applied yet?" Rachel exclaimed incredulously.

"Well, no, I didn't want to upset Quinn."

"Sam! You have to at least apply! I think you've already missed the auditions, but maybe you can get in late! The music programs fill up early and have early auditions!"

Seeing how frantic Rachel was, Sam started freaking out. He vaguely remembered Puck saying something like he might have missed the deadline too. "Shit," he muttered. "Guess I better run! Thanks, Rach!" He turned and sped down the stairs as fast as safely possible.

"Sorry for the bad news! We'll talk later!" Rachel called after him. She followed him to the door, but he was way ahead of her.

...

Back in her room, Rachel had a lot to think about, Noah, Quinn, Sam, and Shelby, oh, and Kurt's situation too. She cursed as she realized that again she had put herself ahead of her friend. But right now she needed to sort through her feelings and decide what to do about Shelby's email.

Deep in her heart, she knew she desperately wanted a relationship with this woman, her mother. But she was terrified of getting hurt.

She desperately wanted to be with Noah and was terrified of getting hurt there too. She had already given him her heart, even if she hadn't exactly told him in that way...

But if there was any hope that she and Noah could make things work somehow, she knew she had to make some type of peace with Shelby even if she was afraid. She was more afraid of having her heart broken by losing Noah than of losing Shelby in her life. That ship had sailed twice already (once when she was born and once when she was 16), so she knew she could survive that pain.

She wasn't so sure she would survive it if Noah left her. _When he leaves you_, a voice in her head corrected her. _When_.

Rachel unsteadily settled into place at her computer. She wrote with a formality that belied the turmoil she felt.

...

_Dear Shelby,_

_Thank you for your thoughtful response to my inquiries about your decisions. You have given me a glimpse into your life which helps my understanding of your incomprehensible actions, and I agree that email and phone contact could be a fruitful, yet safe avenue for us to get to know each other better. It is possible that I will have some type of association with others in your life (Noah, Quinn, Jesse); and because I don't think I can continue pretending that nothing is wrong, I would like to try to determine a way to navigate our relationship._

_I am very busy with preparations for the new semester, so I will contact you again later. If there are certain hours that are good for you to receive phone calls due to your schedule and Beth, please feel free to provide me with those guidelines._

_Sincerely, _

_Rachel Berry_

...

Rachel sighed as she pressed Send. She glanced at the clock. It was after 11pm. She sent Noah a goodnight text instead of going into detail about Shelby's email now. They could talk tomorrow. She had an early morning workout to do, so she needed to rest. She was exhausted.

...

The next day her dads managed to keep her busy with back-to-school shopping (not that she complained much), and when they got home only to suggest dropping off their bags and going out to dinner, Rachel asked to be excused.

"I'm rather tired. Do you mind if I make some dinner here instead of going out? I can make us all some pasta primavera," she suggested.

Marshall Berry had been craving a steak, so they opted to go out and let Rachel stay home alone. It wasn't until they were halfway to the restaurant that they realized they had left an open invitation for that Puckerman boy.

...

As soon as her dads left, Rachel was on her phone.

"Noah?"

"Hey, babe," he answered smoothly as he grabbed his winter coat.

"My dads are going out to dinner now, and I was wondering-"

"I'm already out the door, B," he told her.

The sound of his front door closing confirmed it. Rachel had to smile.

When he got there, the sight of his broad shoulders as he took off his coat was enough to make her forget that she was planning to ask him about telling Quinn what Shelby had written about being a part of her daughter's life. They could always talk when her dads got back. But there was one thing they could do now that they couldn't do with her dads there. And they both knew it.

She didn't mind that there was no preamble. She actually enjoyed that he immediately took her in his arms and kissed her with his amazing lips. She pressed herself against him, eager for his touch. Ready to be in her bedroom-if only there weren't so many stairs!

...

Puck wasn't sure how the hell he got so lucky, but he tried not to question it. He just let himself enjoy the sight of, the feel of, her tight little body. He didn't bother closing her bedroom door before he pulled off her sweater.

She shivered but smiled and leaned on him for a kiss-and her boobs were pushed up and just begging to get out of that sexy black bra she was wearing. The bra was hot, yeah, but her tits by themselves were way hotter, and tastier. Her bare boob felt much better in the palm of his hand than her bra did. As he bent down to kiss a trail from her lips down her neck to that perfect pair, he felt her tug at his shirt.

"I want to see you too," she said in this sexy and desperate voice that hardened his cock from partial wood to full. After pulling off his shirt, he had to palm himself and then start getting his pants off.

"You too," he said hoarsely, indicating with his eyes that she should finish stripping. She didn't do a strip-tease dance or anything like that, but just watching her as she slipped off those yoga pants was so hot. The hint of her abs was more prominent, then the muscles in her thighs-her legs were just, wow. He had time to stare for like a second before she turned out her light. Then she was up on him in a flash. Fuck, her nips were lightly brushing his chest, then his abs, then shit, she was kneeling in front of him.

"Rach," he breathed, but couldn't manage to say anything else.

"I want to," she said, and proved it with a sensual kiss from her knees.

He groaned and tried not to thrust. When he thought he couldn't take any more, he stopped her. "My turn," he vowed before getting to work.

She needed to relax, lay back, get a total body massage. Then he'd tease the shit out of her, get her dripping wet and begging for him. Then he'd give it to her like the pro that he is until they got off together.

And that's what he did.

Her moans and quivers under his tongue almost got to him before he was ready (before she was ready), and they couldn't go as slow as he may have wanted because of the threat of her fathers returning.

But by the end he was spent and she looked spent too.

...

It was Puck who heard the car pull into the garage.

"Hey, Rach, it's your dads," he whispered.

She mumbled something and rolled over. Girl was out-he had put her ass to sleep good. He smirked with pride at his accomplishment. Fortunately, she was wearing a nightgown thing so if her dads came in to check on her it wouldn't be too obvious what they'd just done. (She still had no panties on, but what dad would check that?) Unfortunately, Puck's truck was parked rather obviously along the side of the road in front of their house, and he was pretty sure he couldn't escape through her bedroom window anymore after the best tree branch for getting down had been cut to prevent Israel from using it again.

So Puck figured he had to just go downstairs and out the front door. And probably not sneakily either. He had to just say he came over, Rachel fell asleep, and hope they didn't kill him before he made it to his truck. He leaned down and kissed Rachel's hair before putting on the rest of his clothes and quietly closing her bedroom door.

"Hello sirs," Puck said when he made it to the bottom of the stairs.

Yeah, they did not look happy. Though he was getting used to their narrowed eyes and the scowls they threw his way.

"Mr. Puckerman, what are you doing here?" Marshall asked with surprising sternness.

Puck was ready with an answer though. "Just leaving. Rachel invited me over for pasta. She let me pick the movie, but she totally fell asleep. Guess _Die Hard_ wasn't exciting enough for her. Man, she was really tired. Must be all that shopping."

He thought he might have gone too far with his story when their eyes narrowed even more. Maybe they were looking for his copy of _Die Hard_. "The movie was on tv," he covered. "So I just turned off Rachel's tv. Anyway, I'll just head out," he said as he grabbed his coat. He was surprised when Aaron reached over and stopped him.

"While you're here, maybe we should have a man-to-man...to-man talk."

Puck groaned inwardly. Shit. Of course. These were girly men, not regular dudes. Of course they wanted to talk. "Sure, ok."

He followed them to the dining room where they sat across from him. It was kinda like they were the cops-and he was the criminal.

Marshall spoke first. "Rachel told us you intend to go to Cleveland Institute of Music, is that still your plan?"

He nodded, "Yeah."

"And you aren't going to try to convince Rachel to give up her Broadway dreams to do the same, right?"

Puck felt his heart pump harder. What the fuck? "No!" he said sharply.

"Do you mean _No, that's not right_? Or _no you're not going to stand in the way of Rachel's career_?" Aaron attempted to clarify.

Puck tried to stay calm but his voice revealed his frustration. "No, I'm not gonna get in her way."

"Good, we didn't think so," Marshall said and clapped him on the back. Then he walked over to get the winter coat from the guest hook in the foyer.

For some reason, that was enough to set Puck off. He couldn't stand that tone, then the 'atta-boy' kind of pat.

"Lemme just ask you one thing," Puck said as calmly as he could manage. "It's been bugging me for a while."

"Ok..." Aaron agreed with a mixture of suspicion and curiosity.

"So why are you so down on me, but you're all about Jesse St. James? The dude egged your daughter, man. How can you just forgive that?"

Aaron looked him in the eye and said haughtily, "We can forgive, but we don't forget. _We don't forget_. What makes eggs so much worse than slushies?"

Puck felt the blood draining from his face. Fuck. They knew? Rachel said they didn't know. Did someone else tell them? And weren't eggs worse than slushies? Eggs were worse, right? He slumped as he remembered Rachel telling him that one egg was definitely not worse than hundreds of slushies. He was such a fucking asshole hypocrite, wasn't he? Fuck.

Aaron was still talking. "But Jesse St. James is positioning himself in the right places to be an asset to Rachel. He has made himself beneficial for Rachel to keep in contact with for her career goals. That is why we encourage Rachel to keep that in mind. We're not encouraging her to have a romantic relationship with him at all."

Marshall added, "Their history will surely prevent Rachel from ever having romantic interest in him again."

Puck was starting to get it. It was all about Broadway for them. Eggs and slushies didn't even really matter to them. They were some fucking one-track minded dudes! "So since I don't have any New York connections that can help get your daughter on Broadway, then I can just go to hell as far as you're concerned?" he asked sourly. The looks they exchanged told him he was right.

Then they confirmed it.

Marshall shrugged and Aaron said, "You must admit that you are more of a hindrance to her success than a promoter."

"I don't have to admit shit," he said. Then he couldn't believe he'd said that out loud. _Fuck_. He sighed. "I mean, I'm not gonna stop Rachel from being a success. I _want_ her to do what she was born to do. I'll promote the hell out of her dreams. I'm not standing in her way."

Marshall and Aaron looked at each other again. Neither one wanted a Baby Puckerman to stand in Rachel's way, but neither one wanted to say that to the boy and give him any ideas in case he really did secretly want to stop her.

Finally, Marshall said, "Glad we're on the same page then."

"We don't want you to break her heart of course, but there will come a time when your relationship will have run its course," Aaron stated calmly. "We just want to be sure that everyone involved recognizes that fact to make the transition easier and the pathway to Rachel's success clearer. She doesn't need _confusion_ or _distraction_," he emphasized.

Puck nodded bitterly. "Got it."

He didn't exactly intend to slam the door on his way out. It just happened.

...

Puck was stuck second-guessing his worthiness. Maybe he really was keeping Rachel down. Maybe he could almost believer her when she said he wasn't a Lima Loser, but he was still far from Broadway-caliber like that fuck Jesse. He was Cleveland-bound. For a moment he thought that maybe it didn't have to be that way. Maybe he and Rachel could work it out somehow.

Was there a way he could get everything he wanted? Could he have his family, his _whole_ family AND have Rachel?

Not fucking likely.

But he had to try.

...

The first day back to school was pretty surreal. He picked Rachel up at her house (well, he waited in the driveway with the truck running), and she hopped into the cab looking frozen from the cold weather but totally hot. Her face was flushed and she was wearing some tight sweater dress thing that didn't seem warm enough.

Just when he was wondering if he could make it all the way to school before feeling her up and getting some under-the-bra action, she lays it on him.

Not the sexy _it_.

This whole thing about Shelby...and Quinn.

Fuck.

"I'm sorry I fell asleep before telling you about it!" Rachel apologized dramatically. "I wanted it to come from me in person, so I didn't just forward her email. Besides, if Shelby had wanted you to see it, she would have sent it to you."

Puck nodded dumbly. He was still trying to figure out what Rachel wanted him to do with this information. "So what do you want from me?" he asked stupidly. It's like he had tunnel vision and his brain wasn't working right.

"I want to know if you're comfortable...if you want me to tell Quinn what Shelby said about how she regrets not being part of my life."

"Yeah, tell her," Puck said. "You don't need my permission."

"But do you think _you_ would be comfortable with Quinn there in Cleveland too?" Rachel prodded-trying to determine his true feelings.

"Yeah, I'd be fine. It'd be good for Beth to have us both in her life. That's what I've been saying all along. And then one day Shelby can explain everything, and Quinn and I would be there to answer questions and stuff."

"That's what I thought," Rachel said softly.

But Puck barely heard her. He was thinking about what it would be like-for the three of them. Then Sam popped into his mind. "But I don't know if Sam can even get into Case or CIM for the fall-that dumbfuck hasn't even applied yet."

Rachel looked at him quizzically.

Puck explained. "So you know, if Sam doesn't go, Quinn's not gonna go. So they're probably not gonna go and it probably doesn't matter."

"And that's fine with you too?" Rachel pried.

"I mean, it would be kinda nice if a few people I know go to the same school, but yeah, I'm pretty much getting ready to go do this alone. Kinda like you," he said and elbowed her lightly. "We're sorta similar that way." He put his arm over the seat and played with her hair a little.

"Yes," she agreed. "I think we're very similar in many surprising ways. But we're very different too."

"Don't I know it," he grinned and snaked his hand downward and totally grabbed her boob. "I'm a big fan of those differences."

"Noah!"

...

They didn't make it to school before he felt her up.

...

Puck was fixated all day on this picture he had in his head of Beth...and him...and Quinn. But sometimes it was Rachel instead of Quinn. And sometimes it was Shelby there in his head instead of Rachel. It was weird. It wasn't really romantic, it was just random images and stuff. It was better than math.

Though he'd have to pass that if he was gonna get into college.

In his daydreams about Beth, he almost forgot his main mission for today at school-the sorta secret one that he'd sorta been given the green light to go for: kicking Jacob Ben-Israel's furry ass. Since the cops never did anything about his pervy appearance at Rachel's in the week's they had before school started, he was free to extract his own justice.

Problem was, nobody had seen the little creep. He expected to see the little shitball around with his camera crew doing his little _what'd ya do over break_ crap.

But nope, no sign of him.

Maybe he wised up and left town.

...

By the time he was ready to head to glee rehearsal, Puck was thinking it was pretty likely that Israel was gone and that at least Rachel could have one semester without that freakbag following her around. The thought was pulling him out of the daze he'd been in while he thought about Beth-and the bad mood he'd been in courtesy of Misters Berry.

He realized that the thought of Rachel being happy made him happy too. He wanted her to have a good senior year of high school-without Israel sniffing after her like an ugly-ass dog. And even though it sorta killed him inside, he wanted her to be happy and go be her awesome self on Broadway. He truly didn't want to hold her back from that. He should just go back to how things were before-when he knew that this whole thing was temporary. He didn't know exactly when he stopped thinking that way. He just got so...attached to the idea that they're together, the thought of them _not_ being together had started to freak him the fuck out and depress the hell out of him.

But he could be cool with it, right? It was the right thing to do.

And when it came down to it, Noah Puckerman really had always wanted to do the right thing for people he cared about.

He just lost his way sometimes.

...

When he got to glee, everyone was talking about their winter vacations, and the seniors were talking about their auditions or college applications. Puck just sat back and waited for Rachel. She smiled and practically skipped over to him. Then she said she had to apologize to Sam about not getting back to him sooner about something. Puck thought it was weird, but she just said something, he nodded, and then she flounced back over to sit next to him. He was about to ask her what that was all about, but she shushed him and leaned forward in her seat. She got totally wrapped up in whatever Brittany was saying-which kinda strange because...it's _Brittany_.

But then he overheard more. She was talking about her Julliard audition. So yeah, Rachel eavesdropping made perfect sense.

"What?" Rachel interrupted Brittany's conversation with Mike Chang. "You sang at the same time you did ballet? That's impossible."

"Nope, it's totally not. Obviously, Rachel, I just said that I did it," Brittany smiled patronizingly.

Puck found the sight of Brittany acting like she knew more than Rachel completely hilarious. Rachel didn't seem amused.

Brittany looked around the room and spoke to everyone. "I heard the song once on tv or something and then I dreamed up how I could dance to it. Then I just started singing along. My ballet instructor totally flipped out and said I had to do that for part of my audition."

"Genius," Santana said proudly.

"Totes brilliant," Artie agreed.

Santana glared at him.

"I just find it hard to believe that both could be done well together," Rachel started.

"I can show you," Brittany said. "I still have the music with me."

As the music started, Will walked into the room. But to see everyone quiet and paying complete attention to the front of the room was such a surprise that he just took a seat with the others and quickly became just as engrossed as the students.

Brittany stood in front of them and sang sweetly, seeming to look particularly at both Artie and Santana.

_Here is a Heart, here is a heart  
I made it for you so take it  
Battered and braised, grilled and sautéed  
Just how you like it like it _

Amazingly, she really did begin to perform a mix of ballet and modern dance moves that were simple, yet lovely and fitting.

_You know I live to fill you up  
_

Rachel was impressed, and envious, and a little sad.

_Blood of my blood, dripping with love  
I bring you the thing you need most_

Kurt's nose crinkled at the lyrics. But he had to admit there was something compelling about the whole thing.

_Silent between supplies and machines  
I hang in the corners like a ghost  
You know I live to be seen through  
_

Santana almost gasped out loud. _Seen through_? She wondered if she admitted more than just her feelings to Brittany, if she actually...came out...maybe then Brittany would stop her ridiculous thing with Artie.

_No better way that I can see _

_To spend all the time while you're asleep  
Than holding your hands inside of mine_

Yep, compelling, Kurt decided. Then he glanced at Rachel. His eyes widened. He scuttled next to her and whispered, "You're totally jelly right now, aren't you?"

"What?" she whispered back.

"I'm about to make a sandwich and you're the jelly!"

"Kurt, you sound insane."

Santana shh'd them and gave Kurt a little shove from behind.

_I want to be here and nowhere else _

_Rationing off bits of myself  
So I can crumble at your side  
_

Mercedes overheard Kurt and during Brittany's dance break and leaned over to Rachel. "Girl, you're so jealous of Brittany! Makes sense that it just kills you that somebody's getting more praise for talent than you are. Such a diva."

Rachel huffed and protested-and got another glare from Santana. For Rachel maybe that was true, but that was all she had: recognition for talent. Having it pointed out didn't change anything except to make her even more insecure.

_Sleep like the dead through the noise in your head  
While monitors click and whirr and glow  
I'm with you all day and also would stay  
Tomorrow and onward just this close  
You know I live to keep you safe  
_

Brittany looked at Artie, and Santana stiffened at what she saw in their eyes. _No, forget him_, she wanted to shout. _Look at me_!

_No better way that I can see _

_To spend all the time while you're asleep  
Than holding your hands inside of mine  
I want to be here and nowhere else _

_Rationing off bits of myself  
So I can crumble at your side  
_

As she watched Brittany, Finn put his hand on Santana's shoulder and whispered, "It's ok, I get it."

She raised an eyebrow at him.

"You can't help who you love," he shrugged simply.

_I can't explain it but I have to try  
If you evaporate the seas will rise _

_'Til they devour the sky  
_

Santana was unnerved by his perceptiveness but strangely comforted. She almost smiled at him.

Finn noticed her expression and the barely-there nod she gave him. He knew he was right. He was surprisingly ok with it. He gave her shoulder a friendly squeeze. It was kinda like goodbye.

_Here is a heart, here is a heart  
I made it for you so take it  
Battered and braised, grilled and sautéed  
Just how you like it like it  
_

_No better way that I can see _

_To spend all the time while you're asleep  
Than holding your hands inside of mine_

_I want to be here and nowhere else _

_Rationing off bits of myself  
So I can crumble at your side  
_

...

Santana stood up and clapped as soon as the last note ended. "Seriously, amazing, Brit. Like I keep telling you: Genius." She leaned over and whispered to Finn, "And you're disturbingly smart too."

They shared a knowing smile before Finn realized he wasn't sure if that was a compliment.

"Beautiful and brilliant," Artie beamed as everyone else stood and clapped too.

"Yeah, thanks, that's what everyone's been saying," Brittany replied casually. "I figured if Britney Spears can sing and dance, and I know I can sing and dance like just as well...if not better, then I could sing and do ballet for Julliard. And obviously, I killed it."

"Great job, Brittany," Will said as he stepped to the front of the room to start rehearsal. "I'm sure you'll do well in performing arts after graduation."

Maybe a part of Rachel agreed with that assessment, but jealousy clouded her thoughts. And she was shocked at how Brittany got away with acting so full of herself-if Rachel had ever said anything like that in front of the group, they would have torn her to shreds. She was shocked, jealous, and desperate for recognition in one last hurrah at McKinley High. And she knew where she could shine more brightly than Brittany or any of the other girls: in a Broadway-style musical of course.

"Mr. Schue?" Rachel asked with her hand in the air.

"Yes, Rachel?"

"With the astounding talent we clearly have in the club, the suspension of the school musical after Mr. Ryerson...left, and the funds we need to raise for Regionals and hopefully Nationals, don't you think putting on a glee club musical would be an excellent fund raising idea?"

"Sorry, Rachel," Will said. "We need to keep our focus on our performances so glee club will continue to exist after you graduate. Preparing for a musical would divide our focus. But, you make a good point about our continued need for fund raising, and I'm inspired by the awesome performance Brittany just gave."

Rachel sunk down in her chair.

Puck looked at her questioningly and put his arm around her shoulders. _What's her deal_? he wondered. _Can't she wait for Broadway a little longer_?

Will continued after a dramatic pause. "We'll host a talent show! And anyone in school can enter with any talent..._most_ any talent," he corrected after a few snickers from the students made him realize the trouble with that statement. "We'll charge a reasonable price for tickets, parents can run a concession stand to make a small profit; there are so many possibilities! And none of them require a lot of time for you guys since you're all so talented already! Instead of memorizing lines, you can just do what you already do best: shine!"

"Like Brittany," Santana added.

"Yes, like Brittany," Rachel echoed. Then she couldn't stop what came out of her mouth next. "I can see why you are one of the few to sing and do ballet at the same time, Brittany. Singing in a classical voice would be too detracting while your thin voice seems to perfectly fit the song and this style."

"Thanks," Brittany said.

"I don't think that was a compliment," Artie said. He patted Brittany's hand before scowling at Rachel.

"Ok, let's move on," said Will, not wanting to delay any longer. Besides, he thought Rachel had a point even though she should have kept her opinions to herself.

But Brittany's eyes were filling with tears. And Santana was pissed. "Look at what you've done!" she shouted accusingly.

Quinn piped up, "Wow, Rachel, seriously? Way to pick on someone who totally doesn't deserve it."

Sam looked at her disapprovingly, and Rachel was speechless. What could she say? She couldn't justify her actions-not really. But it was the voice of her boyfriend next to her that hurt the most, even though he spoke quietly.

"Do you have to be so _Rachel Berry_?"

She was shocked into silence. For a moment, she thought that it couldn't get any worse. But then she realized it could. Because she wasn't the only one who heard what he had said.

Mercedes nodded. "Exactly. Can't you just let someone else have the spotlight for one second?"

Now Brittany and Rachel were both crying.

"It's not just that," Artie said.

"You're right," started Santana. "Do you have to shit on everyone else just because you feel like crap?"

"Santana, language!" Will shouted and slammed his hand on the piano in a feeble attempt to gain control of the situation.

Rachel slunk out from under Noah's arm. _Why did he still have his arm around her anyway_? She had to say something. But he beat her to it.

"Look, B, it's just that you're obviously talented, and you know it, and there's no reason to say shit, stuff, about other people."

"Other people say mean things all the time! Even you!" she protested. "You never say anything to the Cheerios when they act like royal b-words!"

He opened his mouth to argue but she was right. Damn. "I guess it's 'cause I have these bad memories of you from before being all...you know. I dunno. Now I guess I just think you're better than that." It was true. And it was bugging him that she was still the same go-getter everyone-else-be-damned girl. Because right now he felt like he was _everyone else_.

"Well, I'm not! I'm not better than that! I'm flawed too! And maybe you can't overlook that because I'm not as pretty and popular as the rest of the girls you know-"

"Rach, how many times do I have to tell you you're beautiful?" he interrupted.

Her eyes flashed but she talked over him. "Since I'm not _as beautiful_, apparently my flaws are unforgivable!"

"Nah, I totally forgive you," he smirked then smiled hopefully—trying to lighten her up.

"_You forgive me_?" she stomped.

She looked hilarious—like a little kid. Puck chuckled. "You know you still wanna have my babies."

"Not now!" Rachel cried as she hurried down the risers and marched out the door.

Puck leaned over to Sam. "Do you think she meant _not now_ like not while we're so young, or _not now_ like not ever?"

Sam raised his eyebrow. "Ok, Mr. We're-In-High-School-So-Dating-Isn't-Gonna-Last…you're really asking me this question? Does it really matter if you're just breaking up soon anyway?"

"Uh, no. Nope, doesn't matter." What the hell was wrong with him?

Kurt smirked at what he overheard. He'd have to share his impressions after Rachel got over her diva-fit.

Puck sighed and raised his hand. "Schue, can I go after her?"

Will nodded wearily. "Sure, but just don't be disruptive to the group when you return."

"So if I can't calm her down, I can take her home, right?"

"What? No."

"So you'll be responsible if she drives home herself and gets into an accident because she's all cry-faced?"

Will sighed. "Fine, Puckerman, if she doesn't calm down before the end of rehearsal you can take her home."

Puck was already halfway down the hall with his mind made up that he was taking Rachel home.

…

"Let's focus now, shall we?" Will asked rhetorically. The students somewhat obeyed but still whispered among themselves.

Tina leaned over to Mike, "That _was_ pretty harsh."

"Which thing? What Rachel said or what Puck said?"

"Both," Tina admitted.

Mercedes huffed, "Please, that girl can cry on demand."

Lauren elbowed Mercedes. "But she had something to cry about this time—her man just totally burned her," she said, with a hint of glee in her voice.

"Word," agreed Artie. "Girl got burned."

Santana rolled her eyes and mouthed to Brittany, _How can you be with this guy_?

Brittany looked at Santana questioningly. "I can't read lips," she shouted.

Will tried in vain to restore order.

…

Puck reached the girls' bathroom and walked right in.

"Rach?" As he turned the corner, he saw her drying her eyes at the mirror.

"Go away! I don't want to annoy you with my _Rachelness_." She had somewhat expected him to come after her, so part of her was relieved that he did. She knew she was a hideous mess so another part of her really wanted him to go away. And she was upset at him, so getting him to leave was what she wanted most. Leave for now, not forever-please not forever, she pleaded silently.

But if she really wanted to get away from him, she could have.

She didn't.

He stepped closer. "C'mon, you know I'm sorry."

"What does that matter? My personality is annoying to you…You're the one person who's supposed to…" she dissolved into sobs and couldn't bring herself to finish.

Shit, she was way more upset than he thought. Puck stood by uselessly until he finally put his arm around her. "Hey, it's ok. Look, it's ok if boyfriends and girlfriends sometimes find each other annoying. You find stuff about me annoying, right?"

She nodded slowly. "I guess that's true. But it's not the same!" she finished with a wail.

"Why?"

"Because…I've never humiliated you about it in public while we're supposed to be a couple."

Puck paused and thought about it. Could he come up with an example to prove her wrong?

No.

"You're right. That was a real dick move. I really am sorry."

Rachel shrugged, still not quite won over. "You should be getting back to glee," she sniffled.

"Nah, I got permission from Schue to take you home if you don't calm down." He grinned a little. "You don't really seem calm yet…"

"You're right, I'm still very upset," she said in a tight voice.

Puck offered her his arm. "Then may I take you home, Miss?" he asked in a joking tone. "Can't have you driving in your condition." He was trying to play off his attempt at gallantry while at the same time hoping to win her over with the gesture. He was worried about her reaction as he stood there with his arm out until she smiled a little through her tears.

"Yes, thank you, Sir, that's very considerate," she replied in a soft voice as her tiny hand found his arm.

She remembered the first time she found her hand on his arm. She had been such a fool. He had to have had feelings for her then, right? But neither had felt it strongly enough then. Were their feelings for each other still too weak now? Could that be possible when she knew she loved him so much? Could she be wrong about what love should feel like? Or maybe he just didn't feel the same way-maybe she had imagined it, maybe she only saw what she wanted, exaggerated what was there, and read in between the lines-incorrectly. She looked up at him and studied his face.

He looked down at her, but didn't know what to do to make it better. "I'm seriously sorry. Do you want me to go back to glee and apologize in front of everyone?"

She shook her head no dismissively and started to look away, but couldn't miss the sincerity in his eyes. He seemed to mean it. She slid her hand down his arm to squeeze his hand. She wondered if her heart would always feel so...battered. As she grasped for the right word and retrieved it based on the song Brittany had performed, she realized how apt those lyrics really were (even if they were overly metaphorical like someone trying too hard to be clever, she couldn't help but appreciate them). Her heart really did feel battered and broken almost constantly. Maybe that's how it always would be. She should have expected the hurt. Maybe she could handle the pain. It was too late anyway-Noah already had her heart, even when he made her cry, she couldn't bring herself to be anywhere but near him.

"I should apologize...to Brittany."

Puck was surprised. "Yeah...that would be cool of you."

"Maybe I'll even offer to tutor her so she can actually graduate!" she exclaimed, excited by her sure-fire plan to get Brittany (and everyone else) to stop hating her. Or at least forgive her.

"Whoa, slow down there, B," Puck said. He could just picture the disastrous results-not to mention the time that would take away from him. "You'll have to fit into your schedule...and you'll have to be...nice...about offering it."

"I can be nice!"

"Wanna show me how nice you can be?" he asked suggestively, hoping to get things back to normal.

Rachel wasn't quite ready to be flirty and sexy. "Take me home first, and then we'll see."

Puck nodded and decided to keep his mouth shut while he drove.

Neither mentioned the uncertainty in the air.

…

**A.N.** Sorry as always for the delay! I wanted to appease the population with this update, and then I'll do my replies to emails, PMs, tweets, etc. Maybe I'll get the next chapter done in 2-3 weeks from now since we have the glee hiatus until November! I do have a big trip in the middle of November, so I'll do my best to get it written before that.

**Contest question:** Which current **regular** on glee was a **guest** star on a show **starring** one glee guest star?


	25. Fault

**Ch 25. Fault **

**A.N.** I tried to finish this before glee came back from the hiatus but it didn't work out so well. Sorry about the delay! That was some episode, huh?

Congratulations to **Stupid Fat Kid** for getting the Contest Question right! Everyone can expect a new character cameo in the near future of the story as the prize from that contest. I would have accepted that either Jayma Mays or Heather Morris guest starred on _How I Met Your Mother_ which stars Neil Patrick Harris, who guest starred on _Glee_. Also, Harry Shum Jr. guest starred on _Boston Public_ which starred Jessalyn but also Loretta Devine who guest starred on _Glee_. I found that out from an unsigned review by **Brooke**, but I have no way to message you back, Brooke! If you have a fanfic account, try to PM me or leave a signed review I can reply to about a prize.

Thanks (and Happy Birthday!) to **Tashah04** who requested the song in this chapter, _Little Lion Man_ by Mumford and Sons as part of a contest prize. The chapter title comes from the song. You can listen by adding the following to the youtube address or clicking the full link in my Author's Profile. /watch?v=lLJf9qJHR3E

More Happy Birthday shout outs to **Maiqu** and **Myffieberry**!

**Disclaimer: **I do not own glee, songs, or anything familiar.

...

Puck hated disappointing Rachel. But give him a long enough stretch of good times and he was sure to fuck it up. He hated that look she would get-sad but trying not to show it. He hated that. He hated that he caused it. He hated not knowing how to fix it.

He had said something stupid...again. In front of everyone. Yeah, it's something he would have said without thinking before they were dating. But he knew she was right that he shouldn't have said that now that they're dating.

Even if he was thinking it.

And even if they're supposed to be honest with each other.

And even if everyone else was thinking it.

But he probably shouldn't have been thinking it in the first place. He didn't really find her personality _that_ annoying. It was just...

Puck had his own mini-breakthrough. He realized unintentionally why he probably said what he said. And in his Eureka moment, he once again spoke before considering the consequences.

He turned to her as she sat next to him in his truck. They were almost to her house after he had bashed her "Rachel Berry-ness" during glee. "I don't think you're annoying really, Rachel," he started.

She huffed and crossed her arms. "Your words proved otherwise," she said as she looked out the window.

"But I think I know why I got annoyed..." he started cautiously, but he couldn't contain his excitement at his realization.

His tone was too bright for Rachel to stand. She snapped at him, "Please enlighten me."

He hardly registered her sarcasm-or subconsciously thought better of responding to it. In a rush he blurted, "It's because you were acting like all you cared about was attention for your talent, to get on Broadway, and screw everyone else."

She turned from the window and peered at him questioningly.

"And that's all fine, but it just made me feel like your dads were right. And that made me feel like crap. And I took it out on you. And I'm sorry. I should just realize that high school is one thing..." He didn't want to say that he was cool and she wasn't, which was a real accomplishment of thinking before speaking that he could never tell her about. "But in the real world I'm not good enough for you, so I should just be ok with it."

"W-what?" Rachel looked at him with her dark eyes wide. "I never want you to feel that you're not good enough for me! Do I make you feel that way? I'm so sorry if I do!" she exclaimed in a flurry of words. Then she realized she had no idea what he was talking about. "What did you say about my dads? Did they tell you that you're not good enough for me?"

Puck wondered now if he should've kept his mouth shut. But screw it, he was gonna be honest. Still, he ducked his head a bit shamefully before he answered, "Yeah."

Rachel scooted toward him as close as the seat belt would allow. "When? What did they say?"

He took a deep breath. "It was the other day. I left after you fell asleep but I ran into your dads on my way out."

She gasped even though she shouldn't have been surprised. "They never said anything to me," she murmured to herself.

Puck shrugged, "Yeah, well, maybe they didn't want you to know what they said."

"But you'll tell me?"

He nodded. "Basically, they were pissed I was there, but I talked my way out of that."

"Of course," she smiled tentatively.

"Yeah," he smirked. "Then I asked why they're all about Jesse and hate me so much."

"You did?" she squeaked.

"Damn straight. That's when they said that Jesse was...useful...for you with Broadway stuff. And I'm...useless...worse than useless. A distraction. That I'd block your way." He was getting angrier and more upset as he repeated the words her dads had used.

Rachel gasped again, shocked and nearly speechless. Nearly. "I'm so sorry, Noah! I can't believe they actually said that!" She placed her had on his knee. "They have no right to talk to you that way."

Puck shrugged it off. "It's a free country and you're their daughter. And I get it, they're right that I have nothing to offer you to get you to Broadway." Then he looked her in the eye. "But I won't stop you from following your dreams. I won't stop you from getting to where we all know you belong."

Rachel couldn't breathe. Her heart ached. Where did she belong, really? She just wished...so many things. "Maybe I belong with you."

There she said it.

Or had she? Noah was silent. But the look in his eyes-he heard her. Her stomach did loops as she watched his jaw work frantically before he spoke.

"That's why I got upset. I must've let myself think that too," he admitted. But his voice hardened. "I know now, after you showed how much you're dying for the spotlight and how much you need that kind of attention, that you won't be happy until you're starring on Broadway." His voice softened again. "We just have to deal with it and keep on the way we always said we would, knowing that the end of high school will be...the end."

"It doesn't have to be," she said. "We could have a long distance relationship, and then you could transfer to New York." She regretted saying it-she remembered the last time she suggested that. He had the same dark look on his face he had now.

"You know I can't do that."

"I know you want to be with Beth," she said with quiet resignation.

Puck nodded as he pulled into Rachel's driveway and cut the engine. "Yeah..."

Rachel figured that this was where their conversation would end. And she didn't feel up to acting like everything was ok. "Thank you for the ride home, Noah. I'm still upset and just need some time...to process."

Puck was surprised that just when he was opening up about what was going on with him, Rachel was shutting down. "You don't wanna keep talking?"

Rachel took her hand off of the door handle. "You want to talk?" she asked surprised. "I'd like that. Can we just...talk?"

"Yeah, 'course we can." He looked at her like she was crazy. It's not like he _had_ to have sex with her _every_ time they had a chance. Though obviously he'd _want_ to...he just didn't _have_ to.

Rachel looked relieved as she kissed him on the cheek. "Please come in; it's cold out here." She slid from her seat and out the door.

Puck shook his head and followed her as she flounced up the walkway to her house. Now that they were going to _talk_, he wondered what he should say.

...

And there he was in her bedroom, her eyes shining at him and she looked like she was expecting something great.

She patted a spot next to her on the bed. "Let's talk about your feelings," she buzzed.

Shit.

Puck cleared his throat, buying some time. "What about? I mean, my feelings about what exactly?"

Rachel pursed her lips as she thought about how to approach this. "Let's discuss...your conflicting feelings. You seem upset that I'm going to New York, but you don't want to stop me from going to New York, but you don't want to come with me." She bit her lip nervously as she realized that didn't come out gently at all.

"Uh, yeah...I guess the main thing is just that...you're amazing...too amazing for Ohio."

Rachel blushed, but braced herself. She knew there was a 'but' coming next.

"But this is kinda my chance to be a part of my daughter's life. Shelby's in Ohio with Beth so I can spend time with her and go to college at the same time. If I prove myself to Shelby, maybe she'd let me see Beth more even after I graduate from college and maybe...move somewhere else."

Rachel's heart fluttered. "Do you mean there's a chance you might...move to New York someday?"

"It's not impossible; I don't know," he stumbled over his words, his feelings. He was torn. "The thing is...when I first found out about Beth-before she had a name even, I was just...I couldn't wait to meet her. And then she was born and she was amazing. And now she's growing up so fast, and I'm missing so much. It's hard to explain how you can feel so much for one little person. It's this...big...feeling."

"Overwhelming?" Rachel asked. She thought she could relate. He was describing love.

"Yeah, overwhelming," Puck nodded. "It's even more than you can feel for anyone else."

"I think I know what you mean. You love your daughter."

"Yeah, I love her," he shrugged off the word before continuing, "But it's so _much_. I think you have to be a parent to know what I mean."

"You don't think I know what love feels like?" she marveled, slightly offended but mostly surprised at the thought. Could he really not know how she feels about him? "Because I do," she said meaningfully, staring into his eyes. "I know what love is," she emphasized.

But he didn't pick up on the hint. He just tried to explain. "It's not like how I love my mom or whatever. It's love, sure, and it's pride because she's a part of me, you know? It's also this feeling like you'd do anything for her, to protect her, to show her that she's loved even if she has this fucked up family with 16-year-old parents and an adopted single mom. It's always there in my mind, she's always there."

"Always?" Rachel couldn't believe that he'd been feeling like this and she had no idea. He was glowing, lighting up as he spoke about Beth. It was astounding to witness his fervor.

"Yeah, sometimes it's stronger than others. Like when I see her, I just feel like I'm gonna burst. And then when I'm alone...I miss her all the time."

"Really?" Rachel felt so sad for him, and for herself. She felt very small and oddly alone as she looked into her boyfriend's beautiful eyes. She had the urge to curl up in a ball in her bed and cry her heart out for her unrequited love. But maybe she couldn't expect him to have the same level of feelings for her as he does for her daughter. He clearly _cared_ for her. And she loved him even if he didn't quite love her back. So she just sat still and tried to be supportive of the boy she loved. "You miss Beth all the time?"

"Yeah, if I didn't have so much going on here, I'd probably go visit her just about every weekend."

"So...you don't visit her because of me?"

"No...well, kinda. School and shit too."

Rachel was stricken. Clearly she was a fool to think Noah could love her enough to choose her over Beth. Not that she wanted him to choose, but she didn't think it would be so hard for him to live his own life, to come with her to New York and just visit Beth during school breaks. But she supposed that moving to New York wasn't living his own life. It was following her as she lived hers. Now she was conflicted too.

Puck continued. "But I'll get to see Beth when I go to school there, and I won't get to see you then. So it's a trade. Plus it's so fuckin' expensive to drive the 3 hours there and 3 hours back. My truck's a gas guzzler."

"So _I'm_ keeping you from Beth and _you're_ keeping me from Broadway," Rachel realized out loud.

"No, we're not, that's thing!" He grabbed her shoulders excitedly. " It's just like we've said from the beginning. You see that, right?"

"From the beginning," she echoed. "Yes, I see that."

Puck felt a sense of relief to know that things were ok and they were back on track. It was pretty cool to actually say some of that stuff about Beth out loud. He hadn't really talked about it lately at all, and it felt awesome to get it all out there. Puck let go of her shoulders and clapped his hands together, rubbing them almost fiendishly. "Damn, I'm on a roll! Talking is better than I thought! What else do you wanna talk about?"

For once, Rachel thought she might be talked out. She felt drained and hollow. But seeing Noah so excited about something other than sex managed to warm her heart and prevent her from shutting down. She decided she should encourage his offer to talk, but she wanted to come up with something innocuous-she couldn't ask him how he felt about her after he'd just said how overwhelming his love for his daughter is. Obviously his feelings for her paled in comparison.

"Let's see...what is a topic we have been neglecting recently? ...How are you preparing for your music composition program? Have you been composing?" she asked.

And she was interested. Just not interested enough to pay complete attention as she struggled to keep her emotions in check.

...

Before Puck knew it, Rachel's dads were home. He'd wasted all that alone time just _talking_ and hadn't even minded. Hell, he kinda liked it. Not as much as doing it, but still. He grinned as he leaned in for a kiss.

To Rachel, the transition from talking to kissing was sudden, but the look on his face as he closed the space between their lips was one she could never resist. Well, she had been able to resist it a few times in their history, but not without struggle. This time she gave in easily. He had apologized after all, and he actually opened up emotionally which she counted as progress. It was just a shame that his emotional outpouring was about Beth and not about her. She hated to be selfish about it, and worse still to be jealous of his love for his daughter. She just wished Noah had room in his heart to love his daughter and to love her.

She let her thoughts melt away with the softness of his lips and put all of her sadness and passion into her kiss.

"Whoa," Puck breathed when they pulled away at the sound of her dads climbing the stairs.

"Thank you," she blushed. "Should I ask if you can stay for dinner?"

"Nah, I won't push my luck with your dads," he shrugged.

He sounded surprisingly cheerful about it, but now that the memory of what her dads had said to him reached the front of her mind, Rachel was upset for him. She was definitely going to have a talk with them. "Perhaps that's best for now," she told Noah. "I'll fix things though."

Puck shook his head. "Don't bother."

Rachel frowned at his answer, and her dads opened her bedroom door with a quick knock.

"Rachel, Noah," Aaron nodded in greeting. Marshall stood behind Aaron with his arms crossed, peeking into the bedroom at the two fully-clothed teenagers.

"I was just leaving," Puck said.

Aaron and Marshall stepped aside to let him pass. "Have a good evening," Aaron said casually.

Rachel flashed him a look before turning to Noah. "I'll walk you out." She grabbed his hand and they walked downstairs together.

"G'night, babe," he said as he reached the front door.

"We'll talk more soon," she promised. She couldn't help but wrap her arms around him in a hug. And his hug in return was so...comforting. When he let go, she stood on her tiptoes to kiss him goodbye.

With a goofy grin on his face, he left.

In the back of his mind, he also thought that since just talking to Rachel could be so great, then maybe, maybe they could do that long distance thing she mentioned. Maybe. But he wasn't ready to say it. Not yet. He couldn't disappoint her again. He had to make sure he could really do it. Four years was like forever. He'd need to be able to get some action. And Rachel probably wouldn't be down with him having sex with other chicks while she was away.

Or would she?

Maybe she'd see the...logic or whatever. She was all progressive and non-traditional about some stuff right? He could almost see Rachel agreeing to an awesome plan that would let him get his fix in with girls in college 80% of the time, and then the other 20% of the time, Rachel would visit him and they'd have the best _I-miss-you-so-much_ sex.

As his thoughts turned toward his future, Puck didn't think Rachel would say anything to her dads about the man-to-man-to-man talk.

He was wrong.

...

Immediately after shutting the door, Rachel stomped into the kitchen where her dads were perusing take-out menus.

"What are you in the mood to eat tonight, sweetie?" Aaron asked. Marshall held up the Breadstix menu and pointed to encourage her to choose the same.

Rachel just glared. "Don't _sweetie_ me! We need to talk about what you said to Noah!"

"Can we order dinner first?" Marshall practically whined. "Daddy's starving."

"Fine," she relented. "Breadstix is fine. Please order my usual special order and meet me in the dining room," she huffed as she exited the kitchen.

Aaron and Marshall exchanged a look and prepared to obey.

...

Rachel fumed alone for several minutes and tried to gather her thoughts. The persistent texts she started receiving from Kurt did not help her focus. She sent him a message to say she would get back to him after dinner. In a clearly desperate attempt for attention, Kurt sent the most bizarre message.

"Puck asked Sam if u still want his bbs!"

Rachel was pleased with her memory of texting colloquialisms to recognize "bbs" as "babies" but she was puzzled after that. She first assumed the message said that Noah thought she wanted babies with Sam. But as soon as it crossed her mind, she realized that was simply ridiculous. Kurt's poorly constructed message did not aid her interpretation, but slowly she thought she understood. She stood up from the dining table just as her dads entered the room.

"Noah Puckerman is serious about me, and I'm serious about him, and I can't believe you would treat him so poorly!" she shouted. "But right now I have to talk to Kurt. Please excuse me, I'll be in my room." And without waiting for permission, she sailed by them and up the stairs.

They didn't stop her. Marshall grabbed his partner's hand. Aaron sighed heavily. "Just what we feared."

...

"Kurt, explain your message right now!" she said frantically into the phone.

"I thought that would get your attention," Kurt said with cool delight.

"Explain!" Rachel demanded.

"With pleasure. You recall what you said during your diva breakdown, right?"

She wanted to protest. "I disagree with your characterization of what happened, but I won't waste our time on that since I'll have to go eat dinner soon. I said several things this afternoon. Please be more specific."

Kurt rolled his eyes. "You just wasted time to say all that. But anyway, yes, I'll remind you. Puck said something like _You still wanna have my babies _and you said something like _No, not now you brute_!"

"I did not say that! And those were terrible impressions of me and Noah!"

"Wasting time," Kurt reminded her.

"Please continue, Kurt," she said with impatient resignation.

"After you left and before Puck got permission from Schue to go after you, he turned to Sam." Kurt paused for dramatic effect and spoke right before he thought Rachel was about to nag him. "Puck asked Sam something like, _Do ya think she means she doesn't wanna have my babies now cuz we're young or doesn't want 'em like ever_?"

"Again, dreadful impression, but I'll forgive you since we both have a flair for the dramatic," she said primly. But inside her heart was beating rapidly. Noah was worried that she might not want to have his babies? That had to mean that he loved her and wanted to have a future beyond high school! So why did their conversation today focus on how they wouldn't stop each other from going their separate ways? Rachel's head was swimming.

"I have to add that Sam was pretty amused and called Puck on his hypocritical ways," Kurt said.

"Ok...?"

"So after Sam called him out and asked Puck if it really mattered if you want to have his babies since you two are breaking up after graduation...that's when Puck said _No, it doesn't matter_." Kurt decided to lay off the Puck impression for that one-too harsh.

"I see..." said Rachel as she tried to put everything together. "Thank you for telling me about this, Kurt."

"That's what best frenemies are for," he said breezily. Then he sounded excited. "So, what do you think you're going to do now that you know? Trap him with a Baby Berry and make him choose Baby Berry and Broadway or Baby Beth and Cleveland?"

"What? No! Of course not! That would never even occur to me!" At least not in the few seconds she had known about this information.

"First thing I thought of," Kurt admitted. "A fake Baby Berry, of course. Can't have a real baby and do Broadway, obviously, but Knucklehead wouldn't realize that."

"Hey, that knucklehead is the father of my fake baby!" Rachel joked. Then she decided to clarify. "I'm joking, Kurt," she said seriously. "Please do not assume from this conversation that I will now develop a pregnancy trap plan."

"Suit yourself," Kurt said dismissively. "So you're not going to do anything about it, are you?"

"Not yet. But you don't have to sound so disappointed."

"Fine, I'll attempt to feign excitement for your boring plan of dating until the end of the year and then breaking up. Ok? Here goes: Wow, Rachel, I'm so happy for you and your future-challenged relationship!"

"Kurt," she said, with the strain of hurt in her voice.

Kurt felt bad for his sarcastic response. He'd gone too far. "I'm sorry, Rachel. You're right. Getting preggo, even fake preggo, is not the answer," he admitted. He chuckled with chagrin. "It's sad that we know from experience, well observation, that neither babies nor fake babies keep a man. So fine, yes, my outlandish suggestion is definitely not the answer."

"No, it's not," she said firmly. Then she asked uncertainly, "But what is the answer?"

"I wish I knew," Kurt said sincerely.

"Me too," she whispered.

After a somber goodbye with Kurt, Rachel went downstairs to have dinner in contemplative silence.

...

Her fathers didn't know what to make of the missing argument they had been expecting. But wordlessly they decided to eat in peace rather than provoking the Wrath of Rachel.

...

As Rachel finished her dinner, she thought about how she had been delaying talking to Sam about his dilemma between Ohio State (Quinn) and a music school like Cleveland Institute of Music. She thought she should attempt to be a friend-she just wasn't sure if she should tell Sam what Shelby said in her email or if that was something Quinn should hear first. The information that Shelby regretted having no contact with her might help Quinn open up to the idea of living in Cleveland near Beth. Rachel wasn't sure if she actually wanted Quinn to decide to be with Noah and Beth in Cleveland, but Quinn probably deserved to know about Shelby's change of heart. Though she wasn't sure exactly what she would do or say, Rachel called Sam and asked if she could stop by his house.

He agreed immediately, gratefully anticipating some long-awaited advice.

On her drive, Rachel tried to plan what to say. She wanted to come up with a way to ask Sam about what happened in glee with Puck so she'd get a better idea what they meant when they talked about babies. But then she decided that was too self-serving. She should try to be a true friend to Sam and focus on his problem. Once she arrived and Sam showed her to his room, she just came right out with it.

"I have something to tell you, but I think it wouldn't be fair to tell you before Quinn. So I'd like to tell you together. Do you think she would come over?"

Sam was puzzled and curious. "Yeah, I'll ask her."

...

While they waited, they talked a bit about Sam's true concerns.

"I feel like everyone has these expectations of me, and nobody cares what I really want to do. My dad and Quinn both want me to go to OSU and play football. And yeah, that would be cool, but I'm not good enough for a scholarship or to be a starting QB. They don't really care what I major in or what I'll do with my life. Or what I want. I really think I want to do music, you know?"

She nodded and patted his hand gently. "I can almost relate to your situation, Sam," Rachel confessed. "My fathers have high expectations for me, but they are so rigid. They are so focused on me getting to Broadway that they see threats everywhere, like in my relationship with Noah. They even told him that he was a distraction for me!"

"Dude, that's harsh!" Sam replied with a whistle.

"I know! I wish they understood how I feel about Noah..." Rachel caught herself before she said more. She couldn't let Sam Evans hear her profess her love for Noah before Noah did. She also realized she had managed to turn the conversation back to her problems when she had intended to help Sam work out his.

Sam was happy to help Rachel with her problems with her dads. "Well, have you told your parents how you feel about him? And how that compares to your feelings about Broadway?" Sam asked.

"Yes, of course," Rachel responded automatically before realizing that was not the case. "Actually, maybe I haven't said the words exactly."

Sam nodded knowingly. "There ya go. So now you know what to do next. It's not your dads fault that they are stuck on their old idea that Rachel Berry loves Broadway and nothing else. You have to tell them."

Rachel nodded, embarrased.

Sam shrugged. "No worries. Of course if they still pull the same shit, I mean stuff, you'll at least know how they feel and maybe you can work against it to change their minds."

"Thanks, Sam. You're a very considerate friend."

Sam shrugged and ducked his head to hide his blush.

Rachel continued. "I just hope I can help you with what I have to tell Quinn."

...

When Quinn arrived she spotted Rachel immediately. "What is she doing here?" she asked with narrowed eyes.

"I have something to tell you," Rachel explained.

Quinn ignored her and glared at her boyfriend. "What is this about, Sam?"

"I just needed advice from someone trustworthy."

"And you picked Rachel Berry of all people?" she cried incredulously.

"Well, yeah," Sam shrugged. "I couldn't think of someone better who wouldn't stab you in the back."

Quinn was shocked. First by the thought that he picked Rachel to confide in. Second by the thought that he was probably right about the lack of choices. But she didn't tell him that. She couldn't admit it. Especially not in front of earnest-faced Rachel. So instead she said, "I have no idea why you would think Rachel wouldn't stab me in the back. She has a history of doing exactly that! She's quite the boyfriend-stealer, so watch out , Sam, she might be after you now!"

"Quinn," Rachel started but Sam beat her to it.

"This isn't about Finn Hudson. This is about us, and you, and Beth."

"What are you talking about?"

Rachel jumped in to describe what Shelby had written in her email. "I'll skip to the most pertinent parts." She read from the email:

_"As I watch Beth grow, I think about you every day. Every day. I wish I would have made a different arrangement with your fathers from the start. I thought it would be better to forget, to leave you to your new family. I didn't realize how impossible that would be. I wish I hadn't given into my urge to go to extremes to track you down. But most of all, I wish I hadn't given into the fear and sadness. I wish I hadn't given up before we even had a chance._

...So while the message was meant for me, I think this is also for you in so many ways."

"Wow, Rachel," sputtered Sam. "Thanks for sharing that!"

Quinn couldn't deal with this. Not now. Not from Rachel freaking Berry. "Sam, isn't this our business together?" Her voice sounded raw-too revealing of her emotional turmoil about her daughter. She changed her stategy and lowered her voice to a sultry whisper. "Don't you want our first night away from home in college to be our first time?"

Rachel gasped. "You two haven't?" She stopped herself but it was too late. 

Sam looked hurt and embarassed. Quinn looked furious. 

"Of course you wouldn't understand our values!" Her lips curled with self-righteousness, and she was pleased to have a target to distract her from more troubling thoughts. "We're waiting until we're engaged so we'll guarantee that we're in a committed relationship." _And any child that might be conceived would know she wasn't accident_. Quinn thought it, but didn't speak the words. Instead she added, "And we're getting engaged after graduation."

Rachel gaped at her. Sam raised his eyebrow but didn't dare defend Rachel over Quinn, his future fiancé.

"I am not a slut," whispered Rachel without much conviction.

"Says the girl who came to the Celibacy Club just to talk about how much girls like sex so she could lure Finn away from me. You can't deny you were only there to steal my boyfriend," Quinn sneered.

This time Sam turned surprised eyes to Rachel.

She couldn't deny it. Rachel took her cue to leave. "Sam, I've said what I came to say. Good luck to you both with your college decisions. I'll show myself out."

And that's what she did. She didn't know what she was expecting: some dramatic realization and expression of gratitude by Quinn? Maybe. But a part of her was also relieved that it seemed like Quinn had no intention of being part of Beth's (and therefore, Noah's) life.

…

"I really messed up here, didn't I?" Sam asked sheepishly.

"Yeah, you did," Quinn nodded. But with Rachel gone, it was like a switched was flipped for Quinn. She melted from ice queen to a mess of tears. She stopped trying to hide it and just collapsed into Sam's arms.

"I just can't stand to be around her!" Quinn sobbed. 

Sam held her helplessly.

He wasn't sure if she was talking about Rachel or Beth.  
...

The next day, Rachel proceeded with her plan to offer to tutor Brittany. Fortunately for an emotional Rachel, Noah's conversation topics on the way to school consisted mostly of appropriate ways of broaching the subject with Brittany.

"You don't want to sound too..." he struggled to come up with the right word.

"Superior?" Rachel suggested flatly.

"Yeah! That's it! Don't do that!" he grinned and nudged her like they were sharing a joke.

Rachel forced a smile. She supposed they were sharing a joke.

She knew she needed to pull herself out of her pity-party, but she was having a hard time. Concentrating on something other than Noah and Beth (and Quinn) and her future seemed like the best way to get back on track. She went with a simple apology for her comments about Brittany's Juilliard audition and a direct offer to help her graduate high school.

For the next step, Rachel and Brittany decided to see Miss Pillsbury to find out which subjects Brittany needs the most help in to graduate. They saw a note on the guidance office door, apologizing for being unavailable for office hours, but promising she would return as soon as her meeting with the principal was finished.

"Should we just wait for Miss P outside the principal's office?" Brittany asked Rachel.

Rachel nodded resolutely. "Brittany, I like the way you think. This way we will be sure to be first in line to see Miss Pillsbury instead of allowing someone else to catch her with a sob story in the hallway. Your grades are more important."

"Totally," Brittany agreed.

But when they got to the Principal Figgins' glass-paned office, Rachel glimpsed a sight that made her blood run cold. She stopped and grabbed Brittany, jerking the tall blond around to face her (away from the glass). "Actually, it would be better if you write your name on Miss Pillsbury's note to prove you're first in line. Let's go!"

"Ok!" Brittany exclaimed, surprised by the sudden change-and tiny Rachel's strength.

Rachel tried to stop herself from shaking. Her view wasn't the best, but she was certain that she recognized the distinctive hair of Jacob Ben Israel. Jacob's mother, Jacob, Miss P, and Principal Figgins were all there, probably discussing Jacob's return to school? Rachel didn't want to be anywhere near him, not even long enough to protest his return to school. She knew that battle was a losing one because they had tried it when they first got the restraining order against him. But she could remind Miss Pillsbury and Principal Figgins about the standing demand that she never have any classes with him. Surely Miss Pillsbury remembered that. Rachel wouldn't be surprised if that's what they were discussing now: Jacob's classes and all of the people he had to avoid. He would definitely ask to avoid Noah.

Rachel wondered if she should tell Noah what she had seen. But immediately she acknowledged that she must have wanted to keep this a secret, otherwise she wouldn't have done everything in her power to prevent Brittany from spotting Jacob. Rachel certainly didn't want Noah to do anything reckless like hurt Jacob and end up losing his chances for college scholarships. Or worse, go to jail!

Maybe Noah would find out, but this was one time when she wasn't going to go out of her way to be honest.

"What now?" asked Brittany as she finished writing her name on the paper on the guidance office door.

"I'm not sure," Rachel said absently, answering the question for her own situation rather than Brittany's. Then she focused. "Let's just go to glee rehearsal. I'm sure Miss Pillsbury won't hesitate to interrupt Mr. Schuester to come meet with us."

...

Will turned from the whiteboard to face the students. He had written "Learn From Competition" on the board and was eager to get to today's lesson. Once he finally got the students' attention, he explained his idea.

"As those of you who have been in New Directions since the beginning know, we have competed against all girls choirs and all boys choirs in the past. We have a mixed group who can do what they can and more. So we're going to start working on some all-girls ensembles and all-boys ensembles that we may use in competition to precede a thunderous mixed number!" He clapped his hands together with excitement.

Kurt raised his hand. "Mr. Schue, forgive me for being blunt, but those other groups our larger than we are. Any single gender ensemble group we could form would be cut in half and sound weak in comparison to the likes of the Warblers, for example."

"Thank you for your opinion, Kurt," Will said as patiently as he could manage. "But we're doing these exercises. They will help build you all up vocally so that you'll sound stronger."

Kurt looked skeptical but didn't argue. He just crossed his arms and waited to be assigned to the ill-fitting boys group.

Mr. Schue went on with his battle of the sexes plan, recycled and repackaged each year.

"You pick the song you want to perform next week," Will told the class. "And today we'll do some vocal exercises to work the male range and the female range separately.

The students groaned. They hated boring vocal exercises. Will gave up early and let them break into groups to pick their songs. "How about we make this interesting?" he ventured. "You pick the song in the next 10 minutes. The first to choose and perform gets 10 points. The second team can earn 10 points by providing a stellar performance."

"And what do the points give us?" Santana asked perfunctorily. "If both groups get 10 points each, then there's no winner. So what's the point?

"Uh..." Will wasn't prepared to make up points or answer questions about them. "The purpose of the points will be revealed at the end of the year!" he finished with flourish.

Puck realized he was waiting for Rachel to say something to brown-nose to Schue about his points and rallying the girls to win all the points or whatever. But she didn't say a word. And that made Puck suspicious. Or concerned. Or both.

She was probably still mad at him, and he couldn't really blame her.

So when Sam suggested a song about fucking up, Puck agreed right away. He didn't really give the other guys a chance to disagree. He was kinda surprised Kurt didn't say something snarky about the choice.

But Puck didn't know that Kurt had his own reasons for thinking a song about messing up could be cathartic to sing. Kurt still hadn't told Blaine about his brief friendly encounter with Dave Karofsky, and he was finally starting to think that Rachel was right when she said honesty was best.

So with no major arguments, Puck shouted, "We've got our song! When do we perform?"

"As soon as you can pull your performance together," Will said, surprised that Noah Puckerman was so...enthusiastic about participating.

"Then we'll do it at the end of rehearsal," Puck declared.

The rest of the guys scrambled. The girls were shocked-by the boys' initiative and by Rachel's silence on the whole situation.

Mercedes nudged Rachel. "Girl, why aren't you whipping us all into a competitive frenzy?"

Tina nodded. "Yeah, Rachel, it's not like you to let the boys win. Is something wrong?"

Rachel shrugged. "I just don't see the importance of this internal competition that has no bearing on our futures, or well, anything."

The other girls exchanged glances.

"Wow, she's finally gone all the way past crazy," Santana said, breaking the awkward silence. She was kind of pleased to see _Little Miss Goody Two Shoes_ tone it down a few notches. But it was also weird, like really weird to see Rachel Berry apathetic like that.

Brittany leaned over to whisper to Santana, "I have no idea what she said, but it's really depressing."

Santana put her arm around Brittany and told her not to worry about it.

Quinn sighed, "Let's just come up with some songs, ok?"

They all nodded. But Rachel's sullen behavior was really having an odd effect on Brittany, who kept squirming and biting her nails. Santana couldn't take it. She grabbed Rachel by the arm.

"Come with me now," she whispered through gritted teeth as she dragged the girl out to door and into the first restroom.

"What the hell, Berry? Can't you pull yourself together and act like your usual annoying self?"

With Rachel's wince, Santana realized she hit a nerve and instantly remembered what Puck had said about Rachel yesterday. "This is about Puckerman, isn't it?" she asked in a slightly less harsh tone.

A barely perceptible nod was all she got from Rachel.

"I get it," Santana admitted. "I'm sure I'd be pissed too. But it's hard to stay mad at him 'cause you know he's always going to be an idiot about something every other day or so. That's just the way he is," she said in the most comforting way she could stand.

Rachel was taken aback by the sincerity. And then she was more honest than she probably should have been. "Yes, but it's frustrating when I put in so much energy into this relationship, and I don't even know if he..." Rachel trailed off when she finally realized who she was talking to and what she was saying.

"Whose fault is that really? Is it really all his fault?" she asked in a rather patronizing tone.

"W-what do you mean?"

"If you don't tell him the truth, the whole truth about your feelings, and if you don't ask him about his, then he can't respond."

The sound of sincerity was back in Santana's voice, but Rachel didn't know how to react. "Shouldn't he just tell me if he loves me?" Rachel reasoned defensively.

"Maybe," Santana shrugged. "But isn't that the pot calling the kettle black?"

Rachel opened and closed her mouth. She didn't have much of a retort for that one. "It's not the same."

"Isn't it?"

"I've given so many hints!"

"Puck's not the brightest. And he's not the bravest. Not when it comes to rejection, at least," Santana pointed out.

"You're right." Rachel had to concede that Noah Puckerman seemed impervious to emotional damage, but actually he was easily wounded and seemed to avoid putting himself in vulnerable positions.

"Do you think you can go back in there and stop bringing my girl Brittany down?" Santana asked relatively gently.

"I will do my best to avoid being annoying and depressing."

"That's the spirit!" Santana exclaimed as she grabbed Rachel's elbow. But this time she linked arms with the irritating but slightly sympathetic girl.

A faint smile played on Rachel's lips as they entered the choir room together.

While the girls struggled to come up with and agree on songs-with minimal input from Rachel, the boys pulled together a decent performance. Luckily, the band members on standby know just about every song by heart.

"We'll be performing _Little Lion Man_ by Mumford and Sons," Sam told Mr. Schue.

"And it's dedicated to Rachel," Puck added, searching Rachel's eyes.

"And to Quinn," Sam huffed at Puck for stealing his idea.

"Wait a minute, guys," Will said. "I know that song. There's some inappropriate language that-"

"No worries, Mr. Schue," Finn assured him. "We're doing the radio version."

"Oh, ok. go ahead."

So the two boys with the most apologizing to do took the main leads, while the other boys harmonized.

_Weep for yourself, my man__  
__You'll never be what is in your heart__  
__Weep little lion man__  
__You're not as brave as you were at the start__  
__Rate yourself and rape yourself__  
__Take all the courage you have left__  
__Wasted on fixing all the problems__  
__That you made in your own head___

_But it was not your fault but mine__  
__And it was your heart on the line__  
__I really messed it up this time__  
__Didn't I, my dear?___

_Tremble for yourself, my man__  
__You know that you have seen this all before__  
__Tremble little lion man__  
__You'll never settle any of your score__  
__Your grace is wasted in your face__  
__Your boldness stands alone among the wreck__  
__Learn from your mother__  
__Or else spend your days biting your own neck___

_But it was not your fault but mine__  
__And it was your heart on the line__  
__I really messed it up this time__  
__Didn't I, my dear?_

As soon as they finished, Puck stood in front of the group. "Everyone here should know that I ...am ...a jerk," he stumbled over a word that wouldn't get him kicked out by Schue. _Jerk_ was the closest to _Dick _or _Asshole_ or whatever that he could come up with. He went on, "And I was a jerk to Rach yesterday, but it was really because it just sucks that we're graduating soon, and...yeah." Puck finished awkwardly but with that vulnerable approval-seeking look that made Rachel leap from her seat with tears springing in her eyes.

She thought for a second he was going to romantically declare his love for her in front of everyone.

Kurt had the same thought, but he slowly lowered his hand from his heart when no such declaration came. 

Rachel wouldn't let herself be too disappointed. She thought about what Santana said. She couldn't expect too much. And what he had said in front of the class was so heartfelt.

She decided she was going to tell him. She was going to say _I love you_. If she could find the perfect moment.

But for now she just hugged him and whispered "Thank you."

The praise Schue gave the guys and the announcement of the girls song choice for next time barely registered for Puck. He was too focused on Rachel. And the idea of taking her back to his place. That urge grew stronger when Rachel bit her lip in her adorable nervous habit and said, "Your performance was lovely, but I can't wait to get out of here."

Puck grinned.

"I wish we could go someplace besides my house," she whispered. "I'm so angry at my dads."

"S'no big deal," Puck shrugged. "I don't mind rubbing it in their faces that we're together." But then he remembered his sister had some after school practice or something and his mom was working the night shift at the hospital. "Babe! We can go to my house tonight! We'll totally have a few hours alone! If you want..."

"I want," she confirmed with a genuine smile.  
...

Rachel seemed more anxious than usual on the drive to house, but Puck chalked it up to being super-hot-and-bothered and ready to reward him.

She was actually trying to come up with a way to make the moment perfect for an exchange of _I love you's_, but that brought on feelings that weren't too far from what Puck assumed.

When they entered his room and he held her tightly as they kissed, she knew she wouldn't have to think about finding the perfect moment. It would happen naturally. He was so tender yet passionate, she knew that the finale of their love making would be the perfect time when both of their hearts would be full with their emotions and desire for each other.

Puck was so damn grateful that Rachel was going to keep forgiving him for screwing up, that he vowed to himself to give her the best orgasm ever without even using his cock. He'd make it about her, not about him.

But when she begged him for it, for him to be inside of her, he couldn't deny her request, obviously.

She tightened around him deliciously.

He filled her up perfectly.

They came together, shuddering, and he lay spent on top of her for a few moments before rolling over to enjoy the sight of her gorgeous naked body next to him.

Rachel was breathless after this soul-racking climax. She took several minutes of silence before she was able to think coherently. By then, she heard his rhythmic breathing next to her.

"Noah, are you falling asleep?"

"Yeah, babe," he mumbled. 

"But I need you to be awake!" She exclaimed in disappointment. "I have to t-" 

Puck interrupted her with a sleepy, "Mmm, I see." He smirked, eyes still closed. "You want some more? Give me some time to sleep, and I promise that when you wake me up I'll give it to you so good." 

Rachel sighed and turned away from him, but nestled her body against his and enjoyed the comfort she felt when he put his arm around her even though he was half-asleep.

"I'll give you time," she whispered. "But we can't stay like this forever."

...

**A.N.** I'm going out of town before Thanksgiving for work, but I'm hoping to actually do some writing during Thanksgiving break, so we'll see how it goes. Hopefully sometime shortly after Thanksgiving Day I'll be able to update! And now that I'm posting this chapter, I'll work on my message replies!

**Contest question:** Which Glee regular had a major role in a recent movie with an actress who also worked with Kristen Bell? The winner will be the first one to answer with the name of the Glee star, Movie, and Actress!


	26. Shut Up and Kiss Me

**Ch 26. Shut Up and Kiss Me **

**A.N.** I tried to finish this before Thanksgiving, but some difficult issues came up (and are ongoing) related to a close family member diagnosed with late-stage cancer. We're dealing with a lot in my family, and I hope you'll understand. Still, I am sorry about the long delay! Hope you've all had Happy Holidays!

Congratulations to **Stupid Fat Kid** for getting the Contest Question right Again! The answer was Cory Monteith worked with Leighton Meester in the movie _Monte Carlo_, and Leighton worked with Kristen Bell in _Gossip Girl_ and _Veronica Mars_.

Chapter title from the song by Orianthi/Spacegliderz as suggested/requested by **Tashah04** and you can listen at this link.

/bL0mztueFD4

**Notice: **Gets smutty near the end of the chapter.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own glee, songs, or anything familiar.

...

Rachel closed her eyes, but she couldn't fall asleep. Her boyfriend had already drifted off after promising to give her "another round" after he took a quick rest. It wasn't that she wasn't comfortable in his bed-she was. She wasn't comfortable with the uncertainty she felt was preventing their relationship from reaching its full potential. She summoned her courage as she watched his chest rise and fall with each breath in the dark bedroom. She reached for his shoulders, massaging them to wake him up as gently as possible.

"Hmm, hey, babe," he mumbled sleepily. "Think you can do that while I keep resting my eyes for a few more minutes?"

She applied a little more pressure and kissed his lips, vaguely aware that this could be considered teasing since she had no intention of continuing to let him sleep. "No."

He opened one eye to appraise the situation. "Huh?"

"No, I won't keep doing this while you rest. Wake up please," she requested crisply.

The tone of her voice wasn't the sexy one he was expecting, and he propped himself up on his pillow, probably out of sheer surprise.

She turned on the lamp at his bedside table, and they both blinked in the light. She sat up straighter and stared into his eyes with grave seriousness. "Noah, I want to talk about our feelings and this relationship."

"I don't think I can have this conversation right now," Puck said as he tried to clear the fog of sleep from his mind. "And that light's too bright," he declared as he reached over her to turn off the lamp.

She let him keep the light off, but Rachel didn't take 'No' for an answer when it came to their talk. "I have something I need to say to you, and you don't have to say it back, but I want you to know how I feel and I want to know how you feel."

Puck froze and he felt his guts clinch up. She was really pushing this? He was sure as hell awake now. "Let me stop you right there, Berry."

Rachel was jolted by his use of her last name. Was she really on the verge of tears just because he called her Berry?, she marveled to herself. If she would have taken time to evaluate the situation, she might have guessed that he was distancing himself from her purposely. But she was too emotional to be completely calm and rational in the moment. She tried to swallow the lump in her throat that formed the instant she realized he had no intention of saying 'I love you' even if she made her feelings abundantly clear and said it first.

Her muscles tensed as he brushed her long hair off her shoulder.

"Why do we need to talk about what we feel? Can't we just enjoy it while we can, before it's over?" he reasoned, the hitch in his voice emphasizing the desperation he was attempting to hide.

She exhaled slowly and tried to form words. She said the first thing that came to mind. "But Santana said I should tell you-"

"Whoa! Since when do you take advice from Santana? Holy shit, Berry!" He chuckled, but he was really just relieved to have something to latch onto to distract from the conversation they were about to have.

Rachel crossed her arms indignantly. Instead of crying, now she was on the defensive, ready to argue her point. "I thought she was your friend. Shouldn't we talk to each other's friends?"

Puck raised his eyebrow. "Yeah, I guess. I just didn't think you'd really want to listen to her about anything. She's one psycho bitch for one thing, and that's not even counting the fact that she stole your boyfriend just to fuck the carpet-muncher outta her."

"What? I have no idea what you're saying right now!" Rachel exclaimed with frustration at his strange slang.

"Oh you know, San's all leszi for Brittany, so she needed some cock to distract her," he explained casually.

Rachel took a moment to digest this information and infer the meanings of the vulgar terms he used. "So Santana's a lesbian? She's using Finn for...?" she couldn't finish that thought. She moved on to her next question. "How do you know?"

"It's pretty obvious," Puck said, pleased his distraction tactic worked.

"Should we tell him?"

"What? No. Why would we do that? We don't owe him anything," he said defensively, surprised (and pissed) that Rachel was ready to protect Finn.

"Well, actually we do kind of owe him," she pointed out. "And isn't it just the right thing to do?"

"Fuck that. We don't owe him shit. Whatever we did to him, we made it up to him already, and he screwed us over."

"I cheated on him with you," she said with a mix of shame and matter-of-fact simplicity. "You got Quinn pregnant. Those are pretty bad. Even if he forgave us, he still deserves the truth."

"He didn't forgive me," Puck grumbled. "And I even stopped-"

He paused and Rachel pressed him to continue. "You stopped what?"

"I stopped myself...with you...that night. You know, junior year? When you came over...and I said we had to stop?"

"You did that for Finn?" she asked slowly, her eyes wide as she remembered the night and thought about the significance.

"Yeah, I did that for Finn and the bastard wouldn't forgive me. Well, not that he really knew everything exactly. But still, sometimes I think...Never mind, it's stupid." 

"It's not," she whispered. "Go on."

"I guess now I think about what a waste that was...because we could've been...together." 

"Together," she said at nearly the same time.

"We missed out, you know? I should've said 'screw Finn' back then and just gone for it with you. But then I thought you were supposed to be with Finn and I was supposed be with Quinn. Stupid, huh? So I guess it's my dumbass fault."

"Oh Noah," she sighed as she reached for him. She found comfort in his arms even in this strange circumstance. Even if he wouldn't say that he loved her, at least it seemed like he had come to some kind of closure regarding Quinn. Rachel was thankful for that small step in the right direction.

Puck was calming down as he held his girlfriend. He didn't want to hurt her, but he couldn't give her what he knew she wanted. He could only go so far, and he hoped that would be enough for now. He didn't want to lose her yet. "You're so beautiful, so perfect," he murmured with fierce sincerity.

His words touched her heart. He didn't say she was 'hot' or 'sexy'. He said 'beautiful' and 'perfect'. Just when she thought her heart couldn't take anymore, he said, "I'm gonna miss this so fucking much."

"I already miss this! Every time I think about the future! Every time we're apart now!"

He released her enough to lean back and stare into her eyes for a moment. The moonlight through his window was glowing on her skin. He hated that he was the reason her eyes were so sad, but he was grateful to have her in his life even if it had to end soon. He couldn't come up with the right words so he just kissed her and he held her tightly.

She held onto him like she'd never let go.

Until a harsh knock sounded on the bedroom door.

"Oh!" Rachel squeaked involuntarily.

"Hey you guys!" Sarah called through the door. "It's just me but Mom's on her way, so...you know...get dressed and stuff!" She finished with a giggle then ran to her room just in case she was wrong about their state.

She wasn't.

Her brother wasn't ready to come chasing after, so she was safe.

...

Rachel scrambled to finish dressing. "That effectively ends this conversation, doesn't it?"

"Pretty much," he nodded, not offering to continue the torture of the conversation later.

Rachel sighed in reluctant acceptance.

"Let me get the sneaky little terror and drive you home," Puck offered.

"That would be very nice, thank you."

Puck shook his head at her formal reply, and yelled for Sarah. "Get out here now, Squirt!"

"No!" she shouted through her door.

"Sarah," Rachel called. "Can you come with us to take me home?"

Sarah peeked out of her bedroom. "Is this a trick?"

"I promise it is not a trick," Rachel assured her.

"I just can't leave your scrawny butt home alone," Puck added.

Sarah stuck her tongue out at her brother, but agreed happily. "I'll get my coat!" she grinned.

Puck and Rachel endured the short ride with Sarah sitting between them in the truck, questioning them on their relationship.

"So, Rachel's your girlfriend now, right No-ey?"

"Yeah."

"So now when the door's closed you do more than practice music, right?"

"Sarah!" Rachel exclaimed as she blushed furiously.

"Yep, sometimes," Puck confirmed with a wink and a chuckle at Rachel's mortified expression. "C'mon, she's a Puckerman, Rach. She knows what's up, don't ya, Kid?"

"Pretty much," Sarah confirmed. "Though I'm a little fuzzy on some of the details," she admitted.

"Good!" Puck and Rachel answered.

"I guess that means you won't be filling in the blanks," Sarah sighed.

"That's right," Puck nodded. "I'm not gonna corrupt you more than I have already."

"But you and I can have some educational talks in the future," Rachel suggested. She noticed the look of horror on Noah's face. "If that's ok with your brother and your mother, that is."

Sarah pondered the idea. She decided an educational talk with Rachel might be worse than sex ed at school. "That's ok, Rachel, but thanks anyway."

Puck breathed a sigh of relief. "Hallelujah." Fortunately, they also pulled up to the Berry house. "Let me walk you to your door."

"Thank you, Noah. Goodbye, Sarah."

"I'll come too!"

"No you won't," Puck told his sister.

Sarah rolled her eyes and stayed in the truck.

They quickly reached Rachel's front door. "Well, thanks again. I'll see you tomorrow."

"You better," Puck said with a smirk as he caught her wrist to pull her close. "I need all the Rachel I can get."

She broke into a smile at the sight of his grin. She couldn't help it. He always found a way to make her feel like things would be ok-even when she suspected otherwise. She broke off from his kiss earlier than she would have if they had not been watched by young eyes.

Puck smirked but headed back to the truck with a nod and wave. He felt like things were back on track.

"You're whistling," Sarah giggled knowingly. "You're awfully happy, No-ey."

Puck realized she was right. "Maybe I am," he shrugged and elbowed her playfully. "You got a problem with that?"

"Nope!" she smirked up at her brother. "I like Rachel."

"Me too, Kid," he smirked back.

...

That evening, Sam and Quinn were having a talk about college decisions, which turned into a fight about their future. Or _futures_.

"It just seems like your way is the only way," Sam complained.

"Right. I'm glad you're seeing things more clearly."

"No, I mean that you don't even consider my side!"

"Oh," Quinn said as she realized her misunderstanding. But she still didn't quite believe what she was hearing. "So you haven't changed your mind yet?"

"No!" Sam shouted. Then he took a few deep breaths. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to yell. It's just...I don't think I can be in a relationship with you if there is no compromise, if everything is always your way, if you don't consider my feelings and what's best for me."

Quinn was rattled by this change in character and everything their relationship had been about. "You can't mean that you want to break up," she stated in disbelief.

"I don't. But it might be for the best."

"Maybe I should go...let you think about what you want," Quinn said deliberately.

"Ok. You should think about it too, Quinn. What do you want?"

She turned to look at him, pleading with her eyes for him to stop pushing so hard. "I'll think about it," was all she said before closing the door and driving home.

But she didn't want to think about it at all.

...

That night, Kurt thought he was finally ready to mention his run-in with Dave Karofsky to Blaine...before it came back to bite him in the ass. He didn't think it was a big deal, but Rachel had been vocal about her opinion. Kurt was finally going to heed her advice. But with a twist. He was going to try to manipulate the conversation so that the topic came up casually. He'd been practicing in his head all day at school (and singing _Little Lion Man_ about being at fault helped prompt him to go through with what had been strictly a mental exercise).

The phone would be better than in person for several reasons: the primary being that Blaine wouldn't see how nervous he was.

"Hey Kurt, what's up? This is a little later than your usual call to say goodnight. I was getting worried," Blaine half-joked. "Is something wrong?" he asked with a touch of seriousness.

"Oh nothing's wrong. Thanks for your perceptiveness though," Kurt replied, realizing this would be harder than he thought. Blaine was so...perfect. "I was just having buyer's remorse and want to make sure the Christmas gift I got you is ok." 

"Ok? It's great!" Blaine laughed heartily. "A cashmere scarf is always appreciated and your taste is impeccable of course, Kurt. I guess we just don't see each other often enough so you don't know that I wear it every day."

"That's a huge relief," Kurt sighed, not completely lying. "I'm so glad you like it. And did I tell you I can't take all the credit for picking it out?" he ventured casually. 

"No...What, did you take Rachel's advice? I know you're friends but sometimes her fashion choices are...questionable." 

"Hideous," Kurt corrected bluntly. Blaine's laugh put him more at ease and he continued. "Actually, I ran into Dave at the mall and he helped me pick it out."

Blaine nearly choked in his surprise. He managed to sputter, "Dave Karofsky?"

"Yes, _that_ Dave," Kurt replied, hoping to push forward painlessly by acting like it was no big deal. "I was leaning toward navy or red or maybe a pop of yellow. It was Dave who pointed out that you wear those colors a lot already for Dalton."

"How observant of him," Blaine said with a hint of sourness.

Kurt detected it but soldiered on. "I guess. He's the one who suggested gray or green...after first making a crack about the appropriateness of pink."

"Hmm," grumbled Blaine as he struggled to stay calm.

"I thought gray-with silver threading was more me, and I went for the most gorgeous green I could find to bring out those amazing emerald flecks in your eyes."

"Now you're the one who's observant," Blaine acknowledged as his heart warmed again. "You make it terribly hard to stay upset with you."

"I know. It's a gift," Kurt replied breezily, covering his anxiety and relief at this reaction. "But Blaine, I _am_ sorry for not mentioning Dave before now. I should have just told you."

"Yes, you should have. I don't really understand why you didn't. I just want us to be honest with each other, Kurt."

"I want that too," Kurt said sincerely.

...

Upon Rachel's return from Noah's house, she realized her fathers weren't even home yet. If it weren't for Sarah Puckerman, Rachel might have invited her boyfriend over for more quality time. Instead, she checked her to do list. She wasn't in the right frame of mind to accomplish any of those tasks. She decided to write in her journal instead. She certainly had a lot of material to draw from when it comes to love and heartache. On one hand she found her situation romantic and inspirational for future performances, but on the other hand she hated being so open and vulnerable. Rachel thought that Santana was right about Noah being vulnerable too (and determined not to show it if he could help it). She could almost laugh at how alike yet how different they were from each other, but that didn't ease the ache of the silent rejection she felt with the unsaid 'I love you's'. She did try to rationalize his behavior and be understanding of their difficult situation as she wrote out her feelings in her diary.

She heard her dad's footsteps as he came in the front door and a spark of anger flashed within her. Maybe she was in a bad mood with the frustrations she felt in her love life, but she was ready for a real conversation with her fathers about their treatment of Noah.

Rachel didn't waste time with pleasantries. "I'm very disappointed in both of you and the way you talked to Noah behind my back. He really cares about me and I care about him! Besides, he's Deb Puckerman's son. Do you really think it's appropriate to treat your friend's son that way?" She planted her hand firmly on her hip, if only to help her feel in control of the situation.

Aaron and Marshall exchanged glances and decided to have a conversation with their daughter, rather than yell at her or reprimand her for her lack of respect to start.

Aaron set down his briefcase and stepped forward. "Rachel, what we said was out of love, for you. We just want to protect you."

"Well, you can't always do that, so...get used to it!" Rachel retorted. Then she realized how childish she must sound. "I mean, please try to get used to that."

"Never. We never will," vowed Marshall solemnly.

"You always protect those you love," Aaron explained. "Even after you're completely grown up and we're old and gray. You'll always be our daughter and we'll always do whatever is in our power to protect you."

Rachel sighed. They had a point. One that made it hard for her to stay mad at them when all they did was love her and want what they thought was best. She knew she wanted what was best for Noah too. And if being with his daughter was what he needed next year instead of moving to New York with her, then she would find a way to accept and support that. She loved him even if he didn't fully reciprocate her feelings. Her hand slid off of her hip and hung limply at her side as her anger evaporated. "I just wish you could see in him what I see. He's so talented and kind-hearted. Can't you see how important he is to me? Don't you want me to be happy?"

"Of course we do," Marshall replied.

"And that's why we have to be objective about what's best for you," Aaron clarified. "You are very emotional about this-we have an example right here. You're so emotional about this boy that you tried to start a yelling match with us here rather than engaging in a rational and calm conversation."

"Completely disrespectful," Marshall added as he shook his head. "It's not like you, Rachel."

"You're right," she nodded slowly. "But I'm right too," she fired back. "I need for you to respect my decisions when it comes to relationships, and at least have the discretion to discuss your feelings with me in private before you reveal them to my boyfriend."

Her fathers conceded her point, and they all three apologized to each other for their impolite behavior.

"Now, are you ready to apologize to Noah?" Rachel asked. "Over dinner tomorrow, perhaps?"

"Don't push your luck," Marshal grumbled

"Then can we invite him to dinner with us on Friday, and you decide for yourselves if you're ready to apologize to each other?" she asked, silently adding _like adults_ to her request.

Aaron nodded and Marshall followed suit, but they didn't say anything else.

Rachel decided she had gotten as far with her dads as she could for one night.

...

The next day, Puck was actually a little nervous to pick up his girlfriend to drive her to school. This time he wouldn't have Sarah as a conversation stopper. He hoped like hell she would just leave things alone and not try to start on the dreaded Talk again. He couldn't deal with it. Not the sadness. Not the disappointment. He wanted to go back to the way things were before she thought they needed to talk about _feelings_. He didn't have room in his life for so many fucking feelings.

He had a plan. She had a plan. And those plans were not...what's the word?

_Compatible_.

It was like he could Rachel in his head saying the words. The plans were _incompatible_. He braced himself for her 'let's talk' face as she hopped into his truck, but she just said a crisp, "Good morning, Noah," and gave him a peck on the cheek.

"G'morning." He glanced at her nervously before he backed out of the driveway.

"Would you like to have dinner together Friday night?" she asked.

"Why do you make it sound so formal?" he responded suspiciously.

"My invitation sounds formal because I'm inviting you to have dinner with my dads and me. I would like to try to move on from...prior incidents."

Puck tried to figure out if she was talking about the near-L-word experience or the way her dads got all stage-mom on him. (Or was it both?) He decided he should just agree to dinner either way.

"Sure. Of course. Sounds great."

"Lovely," Rachel nodded. "I'm hoping this evening will be a good opportunity to move forward, for all of us."

"Yeah, babe," he agreed simply. "Whatever you want."

"You don't have to do this if you don't want to," she replied immediately, trying to figure out if he was just placating her.

"I said I would, and I will," he said with a trace of irritability.

"Great," she said flatly.

Puck didn't want to get into an argument so he just shut the hell up.

Rachel appraised him with a sideways glance before busying herself with her phone the rest of the way to school.

It was a quiet ride.

...

It was a typical day at McKinley, though drama was running high for some who walked the halls.

Santana had news she couldn't contain. "I broke up with Finn," she blurted as she met Brittany in the hall. "Yesterday," she added.

"What? Why?" Brittany gaped. She paused as she remembered what Santana had told her before. "I thought he was your Prom Queen ticket or something. Isn't that what you said?"

Damn, she was right. Santana realized she might have to reconsider the breakup with Finn. She had been too caught up in the moment when Finn picked up on her feelings for Brittany to deny them and try to stay with Finn. Did she still want to win Prom Queen over Quinn? Hell yes. But was she ready to be with Brittany? More than ready. 

She smiled at the beautiful angel at her side. "You're right, I said that, Brit. But you're the one I want."

"That's awesome," Brittany said as she took Santana's hand.

All seemed right in Santana's world until Artie appeared from around the corner.

"S'up?" Artie asked Brittany casually. He was slightly concerned by the hand-holding girls, but not too surprised. He knew Brittany and Santana had a...unique friendship.

"Hey, Artie," Brittany smiled as she dropped Santana's hand to grasp his.

Santana felt a flare of jealousy as she watched Brit and Wheels. "No, no, no. This does not work for me. Brittany, you have to choose."

"What?" Brittany asked.

Now Artie was concerned. "What's going on?"

"If Brittany and I are going to be together, she has to choose between you and me," Santana explained to both Artie and Brittany. "I can't deal with this disgusting cutesy...freak show for the rest of high school!" She regretted her words at the sight of Brit and Artie both flinching at the word 'freak'. But she stood her ground.

"I choose...Artie!" Brittany smiled.

Artie beamed. "Really?"

Santana gaped. " You can NOT be serious. Him?" she grimaced down at Artie. Then she glanced back to Brittany and let out a quiet, wavering, "Really? "

Brittany nodded. "Yep! I choose Artie for high school and Santana in college."

"Wait, what?" Artie gulped.

"Well, I'm going to Juilliard after graduation and Santana will be at NYU or Columbus."

"Columbia," Santana corrected with a smile. She was so pleased she could hardly keep her emotions in check-but she held it together.

"Right, that one," Brittany nodded. "But you're staying in Ohio, Artie. And I need to be in a dance program. You understand, right?"

Artie deflated. "Kinda. But what about dance here in Ohio? Doesn't Cleveland have ballet or something?"

"Oh, I didn't apply to Cleveland," Brittany assured him. She was surprised that he didn't seem comforted by her idea. "So you see how this is the perfect, right?" she prodded.

Santana stepped in front of Artie. "The only way it would be more perfect is if you just dropped him now."

Brittany paused to consider this suggestion. "Maybe..." she started with a frown.

"Then I'm doomed," Artie sighed.

"Doomed? Please. Overdramatic much?" Santana replied snidely.

"You have no idea what it's like," Artie defended. "Who else is going to see me as boyfriend material?"

"Someone like me?" Brittany suggested.

"You're one in a million, Brit," Artie said sadly. "And if Tina and I hadn't dated first, would you have thought of me that way?"

She thought about it. "Maybe not. But maybe."

Artie sighed again. "The fact is that girls don't see me that way. Maybe in college if they could see that I have a girlfriend like you it would be different."

"So...your problem with Brittany breaking up with you isn't because she's the love of your life, it's because you just want a girlfriend in general?" Santana asked harshly.

"Like I said, you wouldn't understand," Artie mumbled.

"I understand," Brittany said, taking a seat on his lap. "I think I do. We like each other, but we probably weren't getting married or anything like that," she explained to Santana from her place in Artie's arms.

Santana gritted her teeth but said nothing.

Artie looked into his soon-to-be-ex-girlfriend's eyes. "If we go to different schools and you choose Santana, that means nobody will ever believe that we dated. So yeah, not overly dramatic." He glared at Santana before frowning and looking miserable.

Santana almost felt bad for the guy. But it wasn't her problem. What could she do? What could anyone do?

"What if I visit you in college as your girlfriend?" Brittany asked. "Would that help?" She touched his shoulder, and he looked at her with sad, hopeful blue eyes.

Santana shuddered at their sickening sweetness. She couldn't lose now. Her mind worked quickly. "Hold up. If Brittany does this, we have to be smart about it."

"I'm listening," Artie said curiously.

They came up with a relatively detailed plan in two minutes of time before class. It would only make sense for Brittany to visit after Artie had already made some friends on campus to be witnesses. She wouldn't be able to visit every weekend because of the expense. And realistically, they would grow apart and break up.

"One month should do it," Santana declared.

"No way. Not if she can't visit every weekend. Three months," Artie countered.

"Try again," Santana rolled her eyes at him.

"Two months."

"Agreed," Santana shrugged.

"Agreed!" exclaimed Brittany. "But what about now? Am I still Artie's girlfriend now?"

"Definitely!"

"No!"

Artie and Santana glared at each other in a standoff. Brittany looked back and forth between them until she had the solution.

"Open relationship! I'll be both of your girlfriends!"

Santana's lips twisted until she managed to smile. "I can do that. Again." At least now that she knew Brittany would be hers in a few short months, she could do what was necessary to get through the sharing part. Besides, that would make it easier for her to sort of get back together with Finn before their breakup went public so they could be the ultimate Prom Queen and King.

Artie decided he should take what he could get. He kinda felt like this was bound to happen anyway, the way those two looked at each other. "It's a deal. See you tonight, Brit?" he implored.

"Tonight."

He wheeled to class, somewhat relieved but mystified as to what just happened and what he was in for.

Santana held out her pinky for Brittany to walk her to class.

"I'm glad you picked me, even if it's not just the two of us until college," she admitted. "I can't wait until we're in New York together."

"It's too bad you won't be at Juilliard so we could live together. Ooh! Maybe you and Rachel Berry can be roommates!"

"Oh hell no!" Santana protested automatically. But maybe it wouldn't be so bad to have a familiar face...No, no way. This was _Rachel _they were talking about. She didn't want to go down for murdering the annoying little bitch just when she was about to try to be a lawyer.

"But if she and Puck keep dating, you'll get to see him too!" Brittany enthused.

"So?"

"We could all see each other! Sometimes I miss him. I wish Artie could do some of the moves Puck could. I could position him sometimes, but since his legs don't work, it just wasn't the same."

Santana's mouth dropped open in shock-a rare occurrence. "You've never told Artie that, right?"

"No. Should I?"

"No!"

Brittany was relieved to know that she did the right thing by not telling. But she didn't know why Santana looked like she was going to hurl. "Are you ok?"

She flashed a smile and took Brittany's hand. "Better than ok."

She was just concerned that her girlfriend was more into guys than she had anticipated . But she intended to show Brittany that she didn't need Puck or Artie or any guy to satisfy her. And she hoped that she was right that love (and skills) would be more than enough. She just still needed to have a winning ticket when it came to Prom.

Brittany glanced at the gorgeous girl by her side. She still looked nervous or sick...like before a big cheer competition. "We can stop by the restroom if you need to puke," she offered.

Santana scoffed. "Just shut up and kiss me."

And in the dwindling crowds of the hallway, that's just what Brittany did.

...

Jacob ben-Israel slunk through the halls from one class to the next, hoping to avoid certain glee club members and athletes who would make his life even more miserable if he ran into them. But he stood transfixed by the sight of Santana and Brittany kissing.

His fingers flew to his phone to snap a pic and post a quick blog update before he realized what a bad move that would be for a guy in hiding.

So he scuttled to class, wheezing from excitement and stress, disappointed that he wouldn't be the one to break the story to those unfortunate enough to miss the show.

...

Puck was one of the unfortunate ones who missed the kiss, but he wouldn't have cared. He'd seen those two kiss before. What he hadn't seen before is Rachel getting down in the music room closet, but that would come later. While the two girls were kissing, Puck was heading to meet Rachel after Lit. class.

Unlike Puck and Rachel, Quinn overheard Santana tell Brittany to kiss her and witnessed the sight. She wasn't the only one who saw it, based on the whistles and catcalls she heard. But instead of Santana threatening to kick someone's ass or trying to play off the kiss as something else, she owned it. She gave Brittany a second, quick kiss, winked at Quinn, and went to class.

Quinn was a little stunned. Not about the lesbian kiss part. Everyone knew about that. She was stunned to see Santana going for it like that, in front of everyone. Not that Santana wasn't bold, she was. But not about that. Until now.

Maybe she should be bolder, Quinn thought. Guys like it when girls take charge (sometimes), right? And she was not ready to lose Sam. He was her future.

But she couldn't support his crazy plan to change everything at the last minute and force her to be near...Beth.

So for them to stay together, Sam couldn't go to Cleveland.

He just needed more help to realize it.

"Shut up and kiss me," Quinn whispered with a smile, waiting for her chance to see Sam next.

...

Puck's big adventure had started pretty innocently, a couple hours after the soon-to-be-infamous kiss. Rachel had been pretty quiet all day, so Puck was concerned. When he got to her locker to walk her to glee rehearsal, he reached for her books and waited for the kiss on the cheek she always gave him.

Until today.

"Hey babe," Puck ventured. "Are we still on for Friday night?"

Her eyes flashed and she bestowed a breath-taking smile on him. "You're really concerned?" she bubbled. "Of course we're still on for Friday!"

Puck grinned with relief and felt his pulse quicken at the sight of her. "Cool. You know, your eyes look kinda sparkly," he said dumbly. But she beamed even more at his comment. Then she really surprised him by kissing his lips-not his cheek like she usually did at school, but a full-on, prepare-to-make-out kiss.

And the Puckster in his pants was on alert.

He pressed himself against her and returned her kiss fiercely.

"Oh!" she exclaimed into his lips as she felt his hardness.

Puck was a pro at convincing girls to do things in school that they probably shouldn't do. But this was Rachel. Rachel Berry. And he wasn't sure that he was completely out of the doghouse with her yet. So he wasn't expecting his suggestion to move to the closet to be so successful.

But his whisper in her ear of "Look what you've done to me. Think you can help me out, Rach?" combined with his suggestive glance at the supply closet in the music room seemed to work. A shy smile flickered across her face and she nodded.

Yes?

Yes!

Puck walked backwards toward the closet, not taking the chance of letting her go. He held on to her waist. He couldn't risk her changing her mind. But she didn't pull away. If anything she held him tighter than he could ever remember. Her touch, her kiss, white-hot. So he guided her backwards into the closet of music stands, sheet music, and cases of who-knows-what. He was completely stunned by the way her hands traveled his body down, down, down to where is cock strained against his jeans. He actually sighed into her mouth with relief and anticipation as she unzipped his fly and cradled him with her palm. He kissed her deeper, lifting her up so he could pull down her tights and panties for a quickie. She gasped-she must not have expected to go this far.

"You're not wearing a condom," she whispered.

Not the total shutdown he was expecting. Right on! "I can fix that," he promised as he fished one from his back pocket. And that's just what he did, deftly rolling the latex on himself for speed. He took time to feel between her legs-she was dripping for him already so they were both good to go. He wasted no time before plunging into her all the way as he stood, slightly leaning against the wall for balance as he held her in place and she bounced on his joy stick.

"Rachel-" came his strangled whisper into her hair. She moaned his name softly in return.

They burned brightly and quickly as they breathed together rapidly between fevered kisses.

This was about giving in to their needs-including the need not to get caught. At least Puck knew Rachel would die of embarrassment if they were found like this, so he didn't try to make it a marathon of sexcapades in the closet. It was easy just to let go and blow his load-she made him feel amazing.

He wished they had more time, but Puck was actually trying to go fast so he'd be back to normal by the time the others showed up to glee. Rachel scrambled to clean up and go back to looking perfect.

"That was awesome," he grinned. "I figure we need to get going though."

"I appreciate that, thank you," Rachel replied.

Puck made sure the coast was clear and signaled that Rachel could come out without being seen. He was glad Schue gave everyone an extra 10 minutes to get there since rehearsal was at the end of classes and the dude always had to gather up papers to grade or some shit. They stepped out of the choir room into the hallway so they could re-enter after more of the others showed up to glee.

"That was unexpected," she whispered with a slightly naughty smile before slipping into the girls' restroom.

Puck was left with a stupid grin on his face, standing in the middle of the hallway.

...

In glee, Artie ran into Finn and figured he ought to tell him about Brittany's arrangement with Santana, considering that Finn was dating Santana. He also thought it would be nice to have someone to talk to about how weird the whole thing was.

Rachel walked into the room to overhear Finn telling Artie, "That's ok, man, I already know about Santana and Brit. And we already broke up. But thanks for coming to me. It means a lot."

"Whoa, dude, so are you ok?" Artie asked with concern and awe.

Finn shrugged. "Yeah, I'm getting over it. It's weird and a little...I dunno...sad. But you can't force things, you know?"

Artie nodded. "That's what I'm learning."

Rachel felt a little bad that she hadn't been the one to tell Finn what it seemed that everyone knew, but she was glad to witness the exchange with Artie. She was also relieved that she and Noah left the closet and she made her entrance into the choir room without anyone suspecting what they had just done. She was startled from her eavesdropping by a tap on the shoulder. Suddenly Quinn's green eyes stared down at her. "If you're all done being _nosey_," she emphasized, "I need all of the girls for our assignment."

Rachel blushed and followed Quinn to where the other girls had gathered.

...

Quinn had decided that she had come up with the perfect song for their performance to earn their 10 points to catch up to the guys after they sang _Little Lion Man_.

Eager to get the assignment over with, the girls agreed. Well, Rachel asked to see the lyrics first, but after she seemed to like what she read, she agreed too.

"As long as I can sing these lines," she pointed.

"Fine," Quinn rolled her eyes.

"No way is she getting all the solos," Mercedes huffed.

"This isn't a real competition," Tina pointed out. "Does it really matter who sings what?"

Mercedes raised her eyebrows, showing Tina that she was standing her ground.

"I don't have to sing alone," Rachel said to smooth things over. "I'm just drawn to these particular lyrics."

"I'll sing them with you," Tina volunteered.

Quinn also had some demands, considering she suggested the song, but they divided up the verses with the senior girls especially featured. Then they just had fun singing and dancing around.

The guys had a pretty good time watching them.

...

**Brittany & Quinn:**_ You're too loud, I'm so hyper  
On paper we're a disaster  
And I'm driving you crazy  
It's my little game_

**Rachel & Tina:**_ I push you, and you push back  
Two opposites so alike that  
Everyday's a roller coaster  
I'm a bump you'll never get over_

**All:**_ This love (love)-hate (hate) relationship  
You say you can't handle it  
But there's no way to stop this now  
So shut up and kiss me_

Kick (kick), scream (scream) call it quits  
But you're just (just) so (so) full of it  
Cuz it's too late, to close your mouth  
Shut up and kiss me

So shut up!  
So shut up!

**Santana & Mercedes: **_I call you and you pick up  
I tell you how much I'm in love  
I'm laughing and you get mad  
It's my little game_

**Brittany & Quinn:**_ Go ahead now, admit it  
You like your world with me in it  
Like a record, it's broken  
Yeah, I'm a bump you'll never get over_

**All:**_ This love (love)-hate (hate) relationship  
You say you can't handle it  
But there's no way to stop this now  
So shut up and kiss me_

Kick (kick), scream (scream) call it quits  
But you're just (just) so (so) full of it  
Cuz it's too late, to close your mouth  
Shut up and kiss me

**Rachel & Tina:**_ You miss my lips, my kiss, my laugh  
The riffs on my guitar  
The way we fight, we make up fast  
Oooooh yeah …  
_

During the guitar solo, Derik, resident guitarist, had a lot of fun rocking out while watching the girls shake their asses.

__**All:**_ So shut up!_

Love-hate, love-hate, love hate!

Cuz it's a love (love)-hate (hate) relationship  
You say you (you) can't (can't) handle it  
But there's no way to stop this now  
So shut up and kiss me

Kick (kick), scream (scream) call it quits  
But your just so freakin' full of it  
Cuz it's too late, to shut your mouth  


**Quinn: **_Shut up and kiss me_

...

"Great job, girls!" Mr. Schue clapped. "I'd say that's worthy of 10 points!"

The girls smiled at each other, though they still had no idea what the points would be for at the end of the year.

Mr. Schue turned his back to the students as he wrote on the white board his 3-step plan for competition. In the meantime, several kisses were exchanged.

Quinn grabbed Sam's collar and pulled him to her. "Shut up and kiss me," she demanded with a smile.

"With pleasure," Sam grinned before realizing that he was supposed to stay quiet. He shrugged with a goofy grin before puckering up his lips.

Quinn laughed and planted one on him-a good one.

Rachel realized she didn't have time in this moment to ask Noah how he would interpret the lyrics of the song. So she just grabbed his face in her hands and lined him up for a kiss. His eyes opened wide before he closed them and slipped her some tongue.

Will turned around and tried to pump up the kids. "Let's use that momentum to come up with songs, or parts of songs, that can feature all-female and all-male harmonies! That way we'll strut our stuff against the single sex choirs, then blow them away with our mixed vocals!"

While some of the glee club members looked like they were too cool to be excited by this notion, Will noticed the smiles on several of his students' faces.

He flattered himself to think that the quiet smiles were related to competition and not to more personal issues of _like_ and _love _and_ moving on_.

...

**A.N.** Big apologies again. I'll try to do better with the updates! Soon will be Regionals, more of your song requests, the character cameo from the contest winner, and more!

**Contest question:** Name all of the regular glee cast members who have had roles on Broadway as of January 4, 2012?

**Bonus question:** Why does the January 4, 2012 date affect the answer to the contest question?


	27. The Storm

**Ch 27. The Storm**

**A.N.** My usual apologies for the delay. Many personal and family issues.

Congrats to **imwonderstruck** for being the first to correctly answer the contest question! Lea, Mathew, Jenna, and Darren have been on Broadway, and Darren's first show was January 3, so Jan 4 he had officially been on Broadway. Honorable mention shout outs go to: **broadwaybound2016, gLeekedOut, HappyGoLucky, Klainebrittanalove, Shadowkitty22, Tashah04**.

Also, shout out to **Stupid Fat Kid** who won a character cameo several chapters ago-this is the one for you.

Song title is from the Elenowen duet, which you can listen to by going to my author's profile for the full link or by adding the following to the youtube address:

/watch?v=93gBJqgvEQM

**Disclaimer: ** I do not own glee, any music, or anything else that is familiar.

...

After the girls finished performing _Shut Up and Kiss Me_ in glee, Mr. Schue made everyone work on vocal harmonies. That's when Finn's mind started wandering. He was surprisingly down about losing Santana. He was having pretty depressing thoughts about his future and his luck with relationships. Especially thinking about how he ruined things with Rachel to be with Santana and now Rachel's...taken. He glanced at Puck and Rachel, looking as happy (or happier) than he could remember her being with him. She looked happier than Finn could remember being with anyone too...except maybe Quinn that first month they dated. After that, things changed. Finn went to a dark place when he thought about how she had treated him. The manipulation. The lies.

He did some things he regretted too.

But they had both grown up a lot since then.

He glanced down to where his first real girlfriend was sitting with her current boyfriend. She looked happy too, but maybe he could see hints that something was bothering her. She was chewing on her lip every now and then and tucking her hair behind her ear a lot when she looked at Sam. And she'd been having some problems with him and that college stuff, so maybe she wasn't as happy as she seemed.

But Finn felt a flash of shame for his thoughts about even the small possibility of getting back together with Quinn. She was still with Sam after all. And heck, he'd ruined things with Quinn to be with Rachel, so that door was probably closed.

Finn felt lost. Was any of it worth it?

But after glee Santana came up and kissed him. "We're still on," she stated.

"Uh..." Finn sputtered.

"Brit and I decided to keep things open in high school. So she and I will see each other, but we'll keep our boyfriends."

"I don't know, Santana..."

"Oh please, Finn, like it's torture to get the best sex of your life for the rest of high school. Spare me your dramatic pauses to 'think about it' when there's nothing to decide."

Finn had to agree that she had a good point.

"That's right," Santana purred. "Now we're back on track to being crowned McKinley's It Couple."

"Not this again," Finn groaned.

"Yes this again," Santana snapped. _Why do you think I even need you_, she thought. But then she smiled sweetly and moved her hand up his thigh. "You know if you do this you'll earn a reward," she whispered seductively before nipping his earlobe.

He shivered and grinned. He knew he was a sucker, but he found it hard to care.

...

After just having closet sex with his super-hot, super-surprising girlfriend, Puck was on high all through glee and still couldn't stop grinning as they left the music room. He'd gotten what he needed but he wanted more. He couldn't wait for glee to be over so he could get her out of school and back to his house. He wanted to see everything instead of just going by feel in that dark closet. Not that it wasn't awesome, because it was. But she was so amazing to look at, he couldn't help wanting to do it with the lights on to take in the full view -that tight little body working him over. And he wanted to work her over too. He looked at her as they walked down the hall and licked his lips. He didn't think she noticed, but he squeezed her hand and gave her his _let's-take-this-to-the-bedroom_ look.

She blushed and smiled.

He winked back and let go of her hand so they could get their stuff from their lockers.

She was so perfect. He needed to see and feel her as he palmed those perky boobs, cupped that firm ass. She was so damn hot it drove him crazy.

Puck was still tingling from that quick closet fuck. He was about to whisper something dirty in Rachel's ear to get her to move a little faster.

He was feeling in fine form.

Until he thought he saw a glimpse of a 'fro that could belong to only one person. He stiffened as he tried to process what he was seeing. Suddenly, Rachel popped up and kissed him.

"Ready to go?" she asked brightly.

"Did you just see..." he started.

"No, I didn't see anything," she answered quickly. "Let's get going!"

He narrowed his eyes at her. He suspected she was trying to distract him. "So you saw him too, right? That son-of-a-bitch Jacob. You saw him?"

"Well, yes, that's true. I saw him too," she admitted. "Can't we just go?"

"You don't seem surprised or mad or scared," he said slowly. "I'm...beyond pissed that he'd show his rat-face in this school again after what he did to you."

"Well, sharing information with my dads and the whole school about our private lives to prevent us from...having sex," she whispered, "was exasperating, but it wasn't exactly harmful to me in any way," she rationalized.

"You're telling me that you weren't all stressed out by all his stalker-creeper-shit? Because that's not what I remember."

"No, you're right, I was stressed. I know you were very offended by that and his attempt to make a video of us. But he failed. Everything is fine. I'd rather just move on and forget about him."

Puck still didn't know what to think. The frustration of the quick turn from desire to suspicion and fury erupted dangerously.

"How can you be so calm about this? ...You already knew he was back, didn't you?"

She wanted to lie. That was her first impulse. But she thought she should be honest now that he directly asked her. She finally nodded. "Yes," she whispered.

She should have lied.

She could tell by how the vein on his forehead bulged and his face turned red. He threw his gym bag to the floor, startling her.

Puck couldn't contain his outrage. He shouted, "How long? How long have you known and not told me?" All Puck ever wanted to do was protect Rachel from that creepy perv. And he'd been right there under his nose? And she knew? He could hardly think.

Rachel just shook her head. She couldn't speak. She didn't think she'd ever seen him so angry.

"You knew Israel was back and you didn't tell me! What the fuck? Why?"

"You know why!" she exclaimed, on the verge of tears. On the verge of saying, _because I love you_.

"I really, really don't," he shook his head angrily.

"Well, I just..." she faltered.

"Why? Why wouldn't you tell me?"

She burst out the answer in rapid-fire, "Because I was afraid you'd be worked up like you are right now! I was afraid you'd rush off and go after him! I just didn't want you to do anything stupid and ruin your life because of me! Because you're so protective of me-"

But Puck didn't see the love and worry in her eyes. He focused on the words he heard. _Stupid_. _Ruin your life_.

Tears leaked from Rachel's eyes as she tried to express her feelings and quell the angry storm in Noah's eyes. "And I love-" _I love you for wanting to protect me_. "I love that you want to protect me, but I care too much about you to see something bad happen to you that I could protect you from..." She reached out to him and he jerked away from her touch.

"So you think that you're keeping me from being a Lima Loser?" he accused. He thought about Quinn and the way her words stung even now as he repeated them. He thought about the disappointment he hated seeing in Rachel's eyes. The tears he saw there now. And he was pissed. Hurt.

"No! It's not that, Noah!" she protested tearfully.

"Whatever," he said coldly, not moving a muscle to comfort his crying girlfriend. "You wanna ride or what? I've gotta pick up my sister because Darlene Somebody can't watch her today. So I gotta know now."

She shook her head. She couldn't bear it, seeing him so angry at her. "No thank you. Go ahead. I can get another ride."

"Suit yourself," he muttered before storming out to the parking lot.

...

Rachel rushed into the girls' restroom as her tears fell freely. She let herself have a good cry for a few minutes before pulling herself together. Leaving the familiar crying-stall, Rachel looked around the deserted hallway trying to figure out her options. Miraculously, she spotted a blond pony-tail swishing around the corner. She ran to catch up.

"Brittany! Hi! Ready for our first tutoring session?" she asked desperately.

"Huh?" Her face twisted with concentration until it lit up with realization. "Oh that! I don't remember making plans..."

"Well, we didn't. I just thought maybe if you weren't busy we could get started."

"I'm late for Cheerios practice. Sorry, gotta go." But Brittany noticed the look on Rachel's face. "We could meet up after if you want..."

"Yes! That sounds perfect! Shall we meet in the library?"

"Sure, see you in about an hour."

...

Puck was furious as he drove. He cursed the whole way to pick up Sarah from Darlene Whats-her-face's house. Why did that old bag have to get plans today of all days instead of being able to watch Sarah and give her a decent dinner? He blasted the horn to get Sarah to move her ass faster.

"What crawled up your butt and died?" complained Sarah hopping into the truck.

Puck ignored her.

...

An hour later, Puck yelled for Sarah to come eat the dinner he made. Grilled cheese sandwiches.

"Ok, ok, I'm coming!" she yelled back. As she grabbed a plate, she questioned her brother. "So where's Rachel? I like it better when she cooks when Mom's not home. There are actually vegetables. She actually knows about the food groups and being healthy."

"Yeah, well, I'm the only one here, so deal with it or make your own dinner. You're old enough already."

Sarah looked through the fridge. "We don't have anything, and I can't drive. Could you take me to the store for some stuff to make salad?"

"Nope. Grilled cheese is getting cold," he said with his mouth full.

"But," Sarah started.

"Sucks to be you," Puck grunted.

She studied her brother. "Are you being a buttface because you're fighting with Rachel?"

"Whatever...maybe," he grumbled.

"Wanna talk about it?"

"No."

But within seconds he was gruffly telling his side of the story. "Lying to my face like that...She was pretty bad, right?"

"You were worse," Sarah observed.

"Of course you're on her side."

"Well, what's the rest of the story? Are you going to talk to her about it? Work things out?"

He shrugged noncommittally.

"You guys can't stay mad forever. You should invite her over. Is she home now?"

"Yeah," he answered automatically. But then he paused. "I guess."

"You mean you haven't called her to check to make sure she got home ok?" Sarah asked in horror.

"No," he dismissed her even though a knot was forming in his gut as he started to worry. "What could I even say?"

"I don't know, how about, 'I'm a jackass for leaving you and I wanted to make sure you got home ok'. How about that? I thought you said that guy was at school! And you left her there like a dumbass?"

"Watch your language," he said flatly, but he really didn't care if she used bad words. He cared that she was right. He was an ass. And he left Rachel alone where they'd just seen that creep-a-zoid Israel. Fuck.

"Whatever, just call her. Or text her. Do something!" But her brother didn't move fast enough for her liking, so she reached for his phone.

"Sarah, what the hell?"

"You need help, big bro, a lot of help," she replied wisely.

Puck didn't argue.

...

The library was mostly empty, but Rachel saw a familiar head of shaggy blond hair bent over a textbook. "Sam?"

"Hey Rach, what are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same question."

"I'm just doing homework while I wait for Quinn to finish Cheerios. Football's over but Coach Sylvester makes the Cheerios work all year for competitions."

"I see," said Rachel, taking a seat across from him. "So are you her ride home?" she asked, secretly wondering if Sam could be her back-up ride if Brittany fell through.

"Yeah, I'm driving her home after this. Plus we need to talk...about relationship stuff," he shrugged.

"The same problems as before?" she inquired.

"Pretty much, but I feel like it's gotten worse, like she's trying to control my life and doesn't really care about what's best for me."

Rachel reached out to pat his hand. "Do you want to talk about it, or should I just let you study quietly?"

"I could use the feedback if it's not too much trouble for you."

"No trouble," Rachel smiled, pleased to have a distraction.

...

They were both so engrossed, that they didn't notice when Quinn entered the library. Surprised to see Rachel whispering back and forth with her boyfriend, Quinn was compelled to eavesdrop before making her presence known. She tip-toed down the nearest aisle of book shelves, inching close enough to hear what they were saying.

"Well Sam, I have to admit that I'm having some relationship trouble myself, so I may not be the best person to comment..."

Quinn closed her eyes, waiting for the worst.

Sam shrugged. "That's ok, Rach, just let me know what you think."

"Well, sometimes I think that I would sacrifice anything, do anything, for...the person I love."

"Puck," Sam stated with a hint of disgust. He couldn't help it. He didn't know why every girl in school (and hell, lots of women in Lima too) thought he was so great.

"I mean in general," Rachel said quickly. "But then I think, why should I be the one to give up on my needs or dreams? Shouldn't major decisions be a compromise when you're in it together as a team?"

Sam nodded as Rachel continued. "If someone loves you as much as you love them, shouldn't that person want what's best for you and at least meet you halfway? So that both partners give a little? Without compromise, I think the person who has to sacrifice runs the risk of growing resentful of the other person, unintentionally blaming that person for their unfulfilled dreams. Wouldn't that be awful?"

"Totally," Sam nodded again, absorbing every word Rachel said.

"That's my current opinion at least," she finished.

Quinn made her move, stepping out from the shelves. "Opinion about what?"she asked, acting as if she hadn't heard their conversation.

Rachel looked at Sam to see if he was ready to speak up. The slight tilt of his head indicated he was not ready. So Rachel turned to Quinn. "My opinion about compromise in relationships, and specifically mine with Noah. Do you think two parties in a serious relationship should work on compromise, Quinn?"

Quinn tried not to roll her eyes. "I would need more information. I imagine it depends on the situation, Rachel." Then she turned to Sam. "Are you ready to go? I'm so ready for dinner."

"Yeah, sure, Quinn," he said as he gathered his books. "You need a ride, Rach?"

"I think I'm supposed to meet Brittany here for tutoring, but she might have forgotten."

Quinn grabbed Sam's hand. "Well, we should be going. You have someone you can call if Brittany forgets you, right?"

Rachel nodded automatically.

Quinn took the opportunity to whisk her boyfriend away from that shrill harpy who'd been filling his head with nonsense.

...

Rachel watched from her seat as they left the library. She knew that she needed to talk to Noah more about the things she'd just said to Sam-about finding ways to compromise so they would both be happy. But she would definitely wait until after they had resolved their current argument. She expected they would move past it, she just wasn't sure how. And she wasn't sure how to compromise between her best interests in New York and Noah's interests to stay near Beth. She knew that Noah considered their arrangement of separating for college to be the solution, the compromise; but to Rachel it was a sacrifice. She would have to sacrifice him for Broadway. Or if she chose him she would sacrifice Broadway. She had already mentioned the idea of him transferring to New York, but he didn't seem to want to even think about that. And certainly at the moment Rachel doubted she could convince Noah to go anywhere with her.

She opened her notebook to a blank page to brainstorm some ideas.

It was only a few minutes later when Brittany found Rachel. "Hey Rachel, I almost forgot you but then I remembered!"

"I see that," Rachel smiled.

"I'm starving. Wanna grab some food?"

Rachel realized she was hungry too. She nodded. "But I'll have to ask you for a ride because I don't have my car with me today," she admitted.

"Oh," Brittany said worried. "I told Santana I didn't need a ride because you were here. Crap! I better call her!" Brittany simultaneously broke into a run and dug out her phone so she would catch Santana one way or the other.

Rachel followed, afraid that if she didn't, she really would be stuck at school. She then realized her dads would be home soon, but she didn't want to deal with the humiliation of explaining that she and Noah got in a fight and he left her stranded.

...

And that's how Rachel ended up at Breadstix with Brittany and Santana.

...

Puck panicked when Rachel didn't answer her phone. Was she just pissed or did that weasel get to her at school? He didn't think that little shrimp would actually do something to hurt Rachel, but he didn't want to risk it either-even if the dude just cornered her and asked her for her panties, she shouldn't have to even be in the same room with that disgusting fuckface ever again. He almost called her dads, but instead just made Sarah hop in the truck to drive back to school, passing Rachel's house on the way. It was obvious nobody was home. So at least she wasn't sitting there not answering her phone. But if she wasn't home, where was she? Was she ok?

The school parking lot wasn't completely deserted, and he looked around for cars he recognized to see if he could find anyone who Rachel might know too. He was driving around the corner when he thought he saw Rachel jogging to keep up with a blond chick. Brittany maybe? He honked his horn and yelled, but it didn't stop them. If anything, they ran faster to wherever they were going...Santana's car...what the hell?

"I guess you'll have to follow them," Sarah suggested. Puck pulled his truck around to do just that while he tried again to call Rachel's phone. He probably should have tried to call Santana or Brittany, but just as the idea came to him, he saw Santana pull into her favorite restaurant.

"Wait here," Puck commanded as he headed inside.

"Not a chance," replied Sarah close behind him. "I'm hungry!"

...

"Rachel!" Puck shouted across the room. "Why didn't you answer your phone?"

She glanced down to see missed call notifications. Waiting for him to meet her at a proper distance rather than yelling back inappropriately, she said, "It was still on silent from when I was in the library."

"I was worried..." he fumbled as he raked his fingers through his 'hawk.

"I'm surprised," Rachel answered. "Considering how little you cared previously."

"Yeah, I know, I'm a dick."

A waitress passing by glared at him. "Excuse me, young man, but you'll have to clean up your language. This is a family restaurant."

Sarah suppressed a giggle (poorly). "Yeah! Show some respect!"

The waitress continued. "Will you two be joining this party of three? If so, I suggest you sit and stop blocking the aisle."

"Yes, ma'am," Sarah replied, tugging her brother into the booth. Sarah was now sandwiched between her brother and his girlfriend. She couldn't see the tension, but she could feel it. "So, girls, what's good here?" she asked, reaching for a menu.

"I'd get salad and breadsticks if I were you," Santana advised with a smirk. "Don't think your brother can afford much more than that now that he's paying for the table."

"You're outta your mind," Puck shook his head.

"No, you are," Santana told him. "You've obviously got something to make up for with Rachel here, and you're all interrupting my dinner with Brittany. So paying is the least you could do."

"You know I can't afford to pay for you two bottomless pits to eat here!" he protested.

"Then maybe you should leave now. Take Rachel home like you should have done hours ago and get Princesa Sarah something to eat. Girl's stomach is growling so loud I can barely hear my enchanting voice."

"Fine!" he said loudly before turning questioning eyes to Rachel. "If that's ok with you, I mean."

"I hate to burden Santana and Brittany on their date, so yes, it is ok with me to leave with you two."

Puck was relieved but he knew he wasn't out of the dog house yet.

...

It was too awkward trying to talk with his sister between them in the truck. "You wanna talk at my house?" Puck asked.

"My dads are expecting me. Can you just take me home?"

"Yeah."

...

"Rachel, you're home awfully late this evening," Marshall Berry said as his daughter closed the front door.

"Yes, I'm sorry. I had an impromptu tutoring session with Brittany."

"But that's Noah Puckerman's truck pulling out of the driveway," Aaron pointed out.

"Yes, and you'll probably notice Sarah too," Rachel said. "Brittany took me as far as Breadstix, where she had dinner plans, and Noah picked me up from there. He was taking care of his sister after school today and he brought me straight home from the restaurant."

Marshall nodded. "I see. So you don't want any of this eggplant parmigiana for dinner?"

"Actually, I would love some, Daddy. I haven't had dinner yet."

"Perfect. We're thinking about having eggplant and chicken parmigiana for dinner with Noah this weekend. So we had a test run of our cooking skills tonight. What do you think-main course, a little salad, a little dessert? A little dinner theater from _Light in the Piazza_. Doesn't that sound fabulous?"

Rachel nodded regretfully. "It does sound fabulous...but actually I think I need to postpone our dinner with Noah."

"Really?" Aaron asked. "What do you mean?"

"It's just that I have several exams on Monday," she lied. "I really need to focus on my studies. I promised to help Brittany with her classes too," she said truthfully. "And I don't think I'll be able to concentrate on those important tasks if I'm dreaming about the wonderful family dinner we're hosting to smooth things over between you two and Noah."

Her fathers nodded. "We're glad to hear that you are making such a responsible choice," Aaron said.

"Yes," agreed Marshall. "We can reschedule our dinner plans for any time."

"Thank you, Dad, Daddy," Rachel said quietly as she picked at her eggplant. Even though she was relatively sure that she and Noah would find a way to make up after this fight, she did not want the added pressure of dinner with her dads to affect the process. She was relieved she avoided that fiasco. Though she felt a hint of sadness that she'd turned down _Light in the Piazza_ night. But somehow forcing a duet with Noah of _Say it Somehow_ was probably not the best of way of getting past their arguments and issues with communication-even if Rachel wanted nothing more than for Noah to say _IT_ somehow.

...

The next morning, Puck drove to Rachel's house to pick her up for school. He made sure to arrive early because he knew that that they needed to talk and that Rachel would be full of anxious energy and ready even before he would get to her house. He just knew. Because that was Rachel. And as he expected, as soon as he pulled into her driveway she came bounding out of her house.

"I'm glad you're here," she said quietly.

"Yeah, I knew we needed to talk, and I'm sorry for getting so mad and acting stupid."

"You weren't acting stupid," she defended him, clueing in on part of his turmoil. "I understand that you're upset, but I think the best thing will be to let Jacob keep ignoring us and we keep ignoring him. I should have just explained that from the start."

"That might have been nice," Puck said. But he words made him realize that the tables were turned, he was apologizing but she lied. He waited (a few seconds) for her to start her own apology. Then he brought it up. "I'm still kinda pissed that you lied to me and don't seem to think it's a big deal. I thought you wanted us to be honest with each other and stuff. What happened there?" he asked as calmly as possible.

"I did want us to be honest. I _DO_. I just made a bad decision, thinking I needed to avoid doing anything that could end badly."

"Not sure that worked out, Rach."

"It succeeded so far at least in keeping you from a criminal record, thereby preventing you from acceptance and scholarships to music school," she explained.

"So you can protect me but I can't protect you?"

"You're right. I was wrong. I was a hypocrite. And I hate that," she responded emotionally. "I'm so sorry. I-I care about you so deeply. I go too far sometimes."

"Sounds familiar," Puck said.

Rachel blushed as she realized she described his situation too. He went too far and got so worked up because he cares. She blushed even more deeply when she realized he admitted that he still cares about her. That's almost practically an 'I love you', she told herself.

They arrived at school in a tentatively good state. They didn't spend any time in the parking lot making out like usual, but they shared a long hug with a bittersweet kiss before they walked into the building holding hands.

...

Quinn was distraught after overhearing Sam confiding in Rachel about their relationship. Partly out of spite and partly because she felt like he was the only one who could comfort her, Quinn sought out Finn Hudson.

She caught him just before lunch and told him most of what had been happening lately.

"Haven't we already talked about this?" Finn asked with confusion.

"Well, yes! That just means we still haven't solved the problem! And to top it off, Sam's been talking to Rachel about every little detail! I feel like she's feeding him all these terrible things and convincing him to leave me!"

"Hey, it's ok, Quinn," he said as he wrapped his arm around her.

She sighed and settled into the comfort she felt from his warmth. "I knew you'd make me feel better..."

...

By the time everyone gathered for glee rehearsal, many of the students were feeling like they had more important things to do and Regionals were just a nuisance. So Mr. Schue's enthusiasm and peppy mannerisms were more annoying than usual.

Will clapped his hands together. "Ok class, let's get started! As you know, my performance in April Rhoades' musical during winter break really energized me and brought a new perspective to how I direct this group. What I haven't mentioned is that when I was in the studio for the cast recording I met this great couple over break in NYC...and they were on a little show you may have heard of..." he paused dramatically. When even Rachel didn't seem interested, he just blurted it out. "The Voice! They have a band called Elenowen and after some permission seeking, we're allowed to perform their song publicly!"

Santana looked unimpressed. "So you got us a song from _losers_ on The Voice? Not winners, but losers? Appropriate I guess."

Will slumped a bit when he took in Santana's words. But he perked up when Kurt asked about the song.

"It's a duet called _The Storm_. But I could write harmonies and multiple solos for it."

"Ok, color me interested," said Kurt.

"That's neat that you met sorta famous people and got us a song, Mr. Schue," Finn said in an attempt to be helpful.

"Thanks guys," Will said. "So Rachel and Puck, will you take us through this song to start us off?"

Before Rachel could grab the sheet music, Quinn stood up.

"Is there a reason you immediately singled them out? Usually it's Finn and Rachel, which is bad enough. There's only one reason I can think of for you to pick Puck-"

Puck turned to look at Quinn, surprised she called him out. "What?"

She didn't look at him, just kept her eyes trained on Mr. Schue. "Are you just picking your favorite couple to do the duet?" Quinn asked with annoyance.

"Not at all," Will explained. "That's an odd accusation, Quinn," he chided. "I just wanted to hear Rachel's soprano with Puck's slightly twangy sound."

"Hey!" Sam exclaimed. "If you want country twang, you know I'm your man, Mr. Schue. And Rachel and I have done a duet before, so you know we're awesome together."

Quinn narrowed her eyes as Rachel smiled. She elbowed Sam. "You're supposed to want to sing with _me_, your _girlfriend_," she reminded him in a whisper.

"I do," Sam assured her quietly. "Mr. Schue, you really should give me and Quinn a chance."

"Well, I didn't expect there to be such a big demand for this practice number," started Will.

"It's no big deal, Schue," shrugged Puck before he saw the hurt look in Rachel's eyes. _Really_, he thought. _This is a big deal to you_? He sighed before pulling himself together. "I mean, obviously Rachel and I should do it, just like you wanted."

Brittany laughed and the class turned to look at her. "He said _Do It_," she snickered. "Puck and Rachel are gonna _Do It_ like _Mr. Schue wanted_."

A few others laughed at the joke or at Brittany for her childish humor. Will shook his head resignedly and half-heartedly scolded them.

Meanwhile, Rachel marched up to Mr. Schue to look over the song he brought. Puck followed. After a glance at the notes, he picked up one of the acoustic guitars set up near the ever-ready band Schue always had standing by. He sat next to Rachel on the stool Schue had set up at the front of the room.

"Alright, let's do this thing," Puck said.

"Alright!" grinned Mr. Schuester like a little boy. "Hit it!" he told the band.

Rachel began, her voice ringing clearly, cutting through the remaining chatter from the students.

_Saddle up, baby, a storm is on_

_The horizon._  
_The war in the distance is marching toward_

_Our back door._  
_And you, you're all I have._

She looked at Noah with vulnerable eyes as he started to sing.

_Take my hand, baby, I'll lead the way._  
_Don't be afraid._  
_We'll walk through the valleys and through the fields,_  
_With our love as a shield._  
_Yeah we, we'll be alright,_  
_At least, at least in our minds._

When Puck sang, Will realized that 'twang' wasn't the right description of his voice. There was a gravelly raspy quality perfect for the song.

Together, Puck and Rachel's voices blended as they sang the chorus.

_Love, will you ever forgive me_  
_If I slip and let you fall?_  
_I'm not sure if I could catch you_  
_'Cause I'm still learning how to love._

Watching him intently, it never failed to amaze Rachel how easily Noah could sing of love. She continued, easily pouring her emotions into the song.

_Honestly, baby, I hate to say_

_That I am afraid._  
_I have been following close behind,_  
_But I could be blind._  
_Maybe we're each on our own._

She finished quietly, solemnly before Noah sang. He noticed a tremble in her lips and for a moment he thought he saw a hint of tears shining in her eyes.

_My apologies, baby_, _I think I've made _

_A mistake on my way._  
_The war is closing in on us._  
_Oh, what have we done?_  
_We used to be so strong._  
_Now things, things are all wrong._

_Love, will you ever forgive me_  
_Now that I've slipped and let you fall?_  
_And I'm sorry I couldn't catch you,_  
_'Cause I was learning how to love_  
_And I'm still learning how to love._

_Saddle up, baby_, a_ storm is on_

_The horizon._

Rachel's last note hung fragilely in the air as the beat of the music faded.

While others applauded their emotional performance, Quinn raised her hand. "While that was nice," she looked at Puck and Rachel briefly. "I don't see why you immediately picked Rachel and Puck when Sam and I would be perfect for those vocals. You should at least attempt to show fairness by having tryouts."  
"I think you're assuming this will be a Regionals number when that's not necessarily true. This was just sampling the song. We could use it for Regionals or not. Maybe you and Sam would like to sing part of it as a group number at the Talent Show."

Quinn shrugged and rolled her eyes.

"Everyone remember to start coming up with performances for the Talent Show we're doing to raise money for the cost of Regionals," Will continued. "All performances have to get approval."

"Your approval, I assume?" Quinn asked.

"That's right. Everything goes through me," Will said firmly. "Regionals songs and Talent Show performances. I'm the teacher; I get to decide how to run glee. It's not a democracy."

Rachel was almost impressed with the spine Mr. Schue showed, but she decided to be the bigger person and relinquish the song. "You're right, Quinn. That song is fitting to your situation, I mean vocal situation," she said purposefully, subtly telling Quinn that she knew they had problems, a storm if you will. She wondered if Quinn would realize that Rachel too was on the edge of a storm with Noah.

Rachel couldn't help staring into Quinn's eyes, searching for an indication she understood. She wasn't sure why she felt compelled to develop some type of bond with the girl who clearly wanted to stay enemies. But for a moment she thought she saw a change in Quinn's expression. A spark flashing in her eyes.

But Rachel wasn't sure that what she saw was understanding or bonding. Maybe it was more like renewed distrust.

...

"So that song was pretty good right?" Puck asked awkwardly. After Rachel nodded, he continued. "I'm surprised you gave it up so easily. You seemed really...into it."

"Yes, I liked the song and would happily sing it at Regionals. But Mr. Schue picks the set list. We can pick our own song for the talent show." She feared she might be assuming too much. "Or songs. We could sing together if you'd like and also have individual performances."

"Yeah, ok."

"Great! Then why don't we go listen to some songs to decide on some duet options?"

"Sure. My house?"

Rachel shook her head. "I'm not sure we'll find a suitable song in your collection. I think we should go to Notes."

"Notes? Isn't that almost out of town? Why go there when I can just download stuff?"

"Well, legally you can sometimes only find short clips of songs. At Notes we can listen to the full versions."

Puck looked pained.

"You can at least go to buy some new guitar strings," she cajoled. "Please," she gave a little lip pout.

...

And that's how Puck ended up perusing a music shop with Rachel.

...

It seemed like Rachel was taking forever going through songs. Puck had already found and paid for a few picks and new guitar strings when he somewhat reluctantly rejoined Rachel .

"Noah Puckerman," a girl's voice stated with amusement. "Still rocking the 'hawk, I see."

Puck spun around to face her with confusion, but moments later he was sporting a huge grin."Hanna?"

There was an awkward moment, at least for Rachel, while this gorgeous girl and her boyfriend were smiling at each other. Rachel stared at the girl with bright blue-green eyes, shiny black hair, and bronze skin. Unfortunately, this was someone that Rachel had to mentally add to her list of 'most beautiful girls she's seen in person,' and she hated the feeling of jealousy that rose up from the pit of her stomach and warmed her cheeks.

Ages later, Hanna asked, "You planning to introduce me or just keep staring, Puck?" She smirked at Noah, then turned her sparkling eyes to Rachel.

"Oh yeah," Puck shrugged. "But I think you two have met before."

Rachel looked at him, perplexed. She was somewhat relieved, though no less puzzled, when he said, "This is my girlfriend Rachel."

A flash of recognition lit up Hanna's face. "Oh you're right, we met forever ago at the Lima JCC."

That's when Rachel remembered who the girl was. She forced a smile and held out her hand. "Yes. Rachel Berry. Pleased to meet you again."

"Same here," Hanna grinned easily. "I guess I moved out of Lima just after you moved in, huh? We were _this_ close to being besties! It's a shame because I have a hard time making friends."

Puck scoffed, "Come on. You're not serious."

"Sadly I am. I guess I didn't have a problem making friends with guys, but girls are another story," Hanna admitted but was quick to change the subject. "Enough about that, what about you? Have you two been dating long?"

Rachel nodded, as she had her suspicions of why Hanna had a hard time making friends. (Girls can be jealous creatures when it comes to beauty.) But then she shook her head when the question of dating came up. "Not that long."

"But you're in a music store together?" Hanna raised her eyebrow. "I remember you were into music, Rachel, but Puckerman...how'd you manage to get him in here?"

When Rachel didn't answer right away, Puck jumped in, "Aw, c'mon, Hanna. Don't you remember my guitar skills?" he boasted.

"You mean your attempt to play guitar? I thought that was just to attract the ladies," she winked.

"Whatever. I didn't need extra help with that," he smirked.

Hanna rolled her eyes.

Rachel was barely able to watch this exchange. They weren't exactly flirting...maybe...but they were awfully friendly for people who hadn't seen each other in over four years.

Puck continued. "But we're actually here for choir stuff," he admitted.

"Really? Me too."

As they talked about why they were all there, Rachel thought about the first time they'd met.

...

At age 13, Rachel had just moved to Lima and her dads dragged her to the Jewish Community Center 'to socialize with her peers'. She didn't consider herself a shy girl really, but it seemed that it took a while for others to warm up to her. So she stayed on the outskirts of the youth group at the JCC where she could observe the social interactions before engaging.

She heard a voice shout, "Hey new girl, gimme a hand?"

"Me?" Rachel squeaked as she looked up to see Lima's version of Megan Fox or Mila Kunis staring back at her, wrangling some pre-school boys off of her legs.

"Yeah, what's your name?"

"I'm Rachel Berry," she replied as she walked purposefully toward the beautiful girl. "You said you need help?"

"Definitely. I'm Hanna Varghese. You any good with kids?" she asked right away. "My mom volunteered me to watch the little ones this week, but I'm totally dying here."

Rachel shook her head fearfully. "I really have no experience. I'm an only child, no siblings..."

Hanna dismissed this excuse. "I just need some extra eyes and hands. Oh, and any ideas to calm kids down."

Rachel had no experience calming kids down, and the only thing she could think of was starting a sing-along game.

Miraculously, it worked.

That day was the first time Rachel met Sarah and Noah Puckerman. As the singing game ended, a lean but muscular boy with a crazy haircut suddenly appeared next to Hanna. He was sweaty, clutching a basketball, and smelled like he'd been playing for hours. But Rachel thought he was the best looking boy she'd ever seen. She wondered what was in the water here to make all the teenagers so attractive. She stared as she watched the boy flirt shamelessly with Hanna. She felt a tug on her skirt and saw a girl who'd been part of the 8 and 9 year-olds singing group.

"That's my gross brother. I'm Sarah. Can you help me get him outta here? Mom has to take me to dance class, and last week I was late because Noah wouldn't hurry up."

Rachel looked down at Sarah sympathetically. "I can try but I can't promise anything. Boys like your brother tend to have a hard time looking away from beautiful girls."

"Who Hanna?" Sarah asked with a wrinkle of her nose. "Yeah, she's pretty I guess."

Rachel giggled and held out her hand. "Well, let's see what we can do."

Sarah grinned and grabbed Rachel's hand, pulling her along toward her brother. "Ok, you try first," Sarah said. "If I say anything he'll ignore me, give me a noogie, or stay even later just to be mean."

"Wow, he seems...rather inconsiderate."

"You don't have a brother, do you?"

Rachel admitted she did not.

Sarah nodded knowingly. But she didn't have much to say when Rachel asked for suggestions for how she could interrupt the conversation and not be ignored or worse. Sarah shrugged and said she hoped her brother would be nicer to the new girl than to his own sister.

Not wanting to let the young girl down, Rachel approached the boy and tentatively tapped Hanna (who seemed a safer target than the boy).

"Excuse me, Hanna, I'm sorry to interrupt you and...?" She paused to encourage an introduction and the chance to talk to the boy directly.

"Oh you're not interrupting," Hanna smirked. "This just Noah Puckerman."

"_Just_ Noah Puckerman?" he asked, acting offended and playfully hip-checking Hanna before tearing his eyes away to face Rachel. "S'up?" he asked, in what Rachel thought was quite a flirty tone. She blushed.

"I'm Rachel Berry, and I believe you have a younger sister who is anxious to leave so she can avoid a late entrance to dance class."

"Huh?" Puck grunted.

Hanna laughed. "Nice one, Sarah! Recruiting the cute new girl to distract your brother."

Sarah beamed proudly while Rachel blushed further.

"I don't think my appearance played a role in her choice, and I'm certainly no match for your looks," Rachel told Hanna.

"Huh?" Puck grunted again.

Automatically, Rachel explained, "I'm saying that Hanna's very beautiful and I'm not, but I was hoping you'd still be polite enough to honor my request that you and your sister meet your mother for Sarah's dance class."

"Oh," Puck said.

Hanna elbowed him. "Sheez, Puckerman, what's wrong with you?"

"Huh?"

"Compliment her or something!" she prodded.

Rachel shook her head. "Oh no, I wasn't fishing for compliments!" she tried to assure Hanna. She avoided eye contact with the boy. "Sarah, I believe my work here is done, and I really should be going." With that, she scurried out of the room before the embarrassment could get worse.

But despite her protests, her fathers made her come back every week.

And somehow over that summer she made friends with the beautiful well-liked girl. She learned that Hanna's mother was Jewish American while her father's family was from India. She learned that Hanna didn't realize how much fun singing for an audience could be until Rachel had organized a trip to perform at a local nursing home. She learned that being around Hanna could be somewhat annoying when all of the boys tried to impress her; but when it was just girls and the little kids, they had a lot of fun. She actually really loved hanging out with her. Rachel even liked seeing Noah Puckerman from time to time, even though she found their encounters anxiety-provoking. It was probably because he was so attractive and he knew it.

Even though she dreamed about it, she never would have thought they would actually end up being a couple.

...

She finally brought herself out of her memory and back to the present.

She tried to follow the conversation and piece together snippets of what had been said. "So you're competing against us at Regionals?" Rachel asked Hanna.

She faced dumbfounded stares. Puck gaped at her. "Yeah, where've you been? We've been talking about that this whole time!"

"I guess I just realized Hanna's competing in _our_ Regionals," Rachel said, hoping that when she spaced out she didn't miss too many other things worth noting.

Hanna nodded, though she did raise her eyebrow curiously at Rachel. "Well, since I'm the competition, I don't want to intrude on your music browsing. I'll just jet."

"Nah, we're here for a talent show, not to pick our set-list for Regionals," Puck explained.

Numbly Rachel nodded, "Right. Don't leave on my account."

Hanna smiled. "Talent show? Check you out, Rachel! You tamed this guy into a show-choir-singin', talent-show-lovin' Nice Guy? Damn! Great work!"

"I can't really take credit," Rachel admitted.

"You can't?" Puck asked.

"No," she said pointedly. "You had other reasons for joining glee club."

Realizing she was referring to Quinn and their baby, Puck snapped his mouth shut. But Rachel looked so upset. He had to fix it. He grabbed her hand. "But you're the reason I stayed."

Hanna clasped her hand to her heart. "Aawwww! I'm seriously dying here! Sooo sweet!"

Puck flashed a cocky grin to play it off like one of his moves. He noticed too late that Rachel saw the look-and he could tell she was pissed. "But seriously, you're right that Rachel and I are an awesome couple," he said, hoping that it would help.

It seemed to, for about two seconds. That was when Hanna asked where they applied for college.

"We didn't apply to all of the same places," Rachel said with a fake smile. "My top choices are in New York, while Noah is planning to stay in Ohio. How about you, Hanna?"

"Well, there are some great schools in the Midwest for performing arts, but New York would be amazing," she said carefully, picking up on the tension between the two people she assumed were in a perfect relationship.

"And where exactly did you apply?" asked Rachel. "Just curious," she added so it didn't seem too weird.

But it was still weird.

Hanna cleared her throat before answering. "I applied to Northwestern, Indiana, OSU-just in case, Cleveland, and then the really crazy ones are UCLA, Juilliard, NYU, you know, the standards."

"Wow, that's a hell of lot of applications!" marveled Puck.

"Yeah, I just was afraid of not getting in anywhere I guess."

"I doubt you'll have a problem," Puck said.

"Why? You haven't heard me sing since we were 13 and you have no clue about my grades and activities."

Puck didn't know what to say. "Just a feeling I guess."

"It's because you're beautiful," Rachel stated bluntly, somewhat annoyed that she had to point out the obvious. "A combination of Noah being polite about your chances of admission and honest about the way the world works for beautiful people. But he's right. I remember your singing voice. You won't have a problem getting into most if not all of your schools. Your looks and voice will offset any negatives you may have in your academic records when it comes to performing arts schools."

Hanna actually blushed and sputtered, "Wow, um, thank you. I'm not used to hearing things like that from other girls. I guess that's part of the whole 'not having girl friends' thing." Then she tried to diffuse the awkwardness, only to make it worse. "All this beauty talk...Puckerman, you sure your girl doesn't play for the other team?"

Rachel shook her head, at a loss to explain her comment. But her boyfriend wasn't so taken aback by the exchange.

"Not this girlfriend," Puck answered easily. "If you're looking, I can introduce you to some hot chicks who swing that way," he said, thinking of Santana and Brittany.

Just when Rachel thought she could breathe a sigh of relief, Hanna shook her head and laughed.

"No thanks, I haven't changed _that_ much, Puck!"

The look they exchanged, the glints in their eyes...told a story. "Oh, did you two...date?" Rachel asked, regretting asking but was dying to know.

Puck looked caught and panicky.

Hanna rolled her eyes. "If you can call it that. We were kids."

"Yeah, no big thing," said Puck.

"Of course," Rachel smiled her show-smile again. "Well, we really should finish up here. I have to get home."

"Sure thing," Puck nodded, recognizing the danger signs.

...

During their drive home, Rachel realized out loud that Hanna moving away had impacted her own social status.

"What?" Puck asked with confusion.

She blurted out the story before she recognized her mistake.

Some things are better left unsaid.

"Well, Hanna and I made friends over the summer when I moved in. Don't you remember how we used to hang out together at the JCC?"

Puck tried to recall. "That was a while ago...I remember playing basketball a lot back then and that's about it."

Rachel scowled. She remembered it clearly. But maybe that was because she had developed such a crush on the boy with the silly (sexy) Mohawk.

Rachel was being so quiet and she looked mad. Puck sorta remembered Rachel hanging around with Hanna, so that's what he told her.

She appraised him with piercing eyes. "I guess I'm not surprised that you didn't realize we were friends since you didn't stick up for me and confirm it at school," she replied angrily.

"Huh?"

She sighed and recounted the story. "The first day of high school, I saw you at your locker at the end of the day, and I asked you if you'd seen Hanna. There were some jocks and Cheerios around, Quinn in particular. You don't remember?"

Shit. He did remember. He swallowed hard. "Rach, c'mon, that was so long ago." But as soon as he said it, he knew he was taking the wrong approach. "I mean, I'm sorry that I was a dick then."

"So you remember now?"

"Yeah."

"Tell me what you remember."

He sighed. "Quinn didn't believe that you knew Hanna. She said you two couldn't be friends, especially if you didn't know she'd moved."

"And then?"

"That was pretty much it. We all went to practice."

"Yes, that's when you could have told them that I did know Hanna. That we were friends. You knew Hanna was popular like Quinn and the others. If Hanna hadn't moved or if you would have told the truth in front of your friends, maybe I could have been popular too. Or at least not so...despised."

"Rachel..." Puck started. He felt bad, guilty for being a coward and not speaking up when the others were laughing at his now-girlfriend. But he really felt guilty for thinking just now that Rachel's attitude would have made her a target eventually even if she had started with the popular kids. ...But maybe he was wrong about that. Lots of girls were seen as bitchy or as if they cared too much about grades and rules and stuff. Hell, that described Quinn Fabray pretty well. Maybe things would have been different if he would have said something... "I'm really sorry..."

"No, forget it, it's too late," Rachel sighed harshly. "Just forget it...You must not have realized we were friends, so I shouldn't be upset that you didn't confirm something you didn't really know." But she couldn't drop it. She added one more little bombshell. It was true, but she probably should have kept it to herself. "That was a turning point for me. During that summer, I'd developed quite a crush on you."

Puck glanced from the road and toward Rachel. She wasn't looking at him at all. She was staring straight ahead and her voice was like stone.

It made him nervous.

She continued. "But that day you crushed me. For the first time, that is. It wouldn't be the last time you'd break me."

Puck winced.

"And I watched you act like such a jerk so many times. Then I became a target. You were so heartless. I hated you."

"Rachel, please..."

But she didn't stop talking. "And I then I watched Finn. He was so much more of a kind soul, a leader. I could see the hero he almost was."

"Please, he threw piss balloons at your house, Berry," Puck muttered bitingly.

Rachel nodded wearily. "Yes. He was still a jerk, but there was gentleness, consideration, and I could tell that he regretted some of the things he did for the sake of being popular. When I watched you, a leader too, but leading others into bullying and cruelty. All I could see was how much fun you were having. That's why I fell out of love with you and in love with Finn."

And there it was, heavy silence. Like her words had sucked the oxygen out of the air.

Puck didn't know how they'd gotten here. He was sweating and his throat was dry. He couldn't speak. He couldn't even apologize. He wished he could explain, but anything he could say would be idiotic and pointless. How could he compare what he'd been going through back then to what he'd put her through? Pressure to be popular and the fear of being a loser like his asshole father were piss-poor excuses, he knew. He swallowed hard, trying to think of something, anything to say.

But Rachel wasn't finished. "It took me a while, but I started to notice little things about you and your attitude. I realized some of what I hated in you was just an act. You didn't know what else to do. And sometimes I'd see the sweetness you would hide behind that jerk persona of yours."

Puck looked at her hopefully. This sounded like good stuff. Like it wasn't going to end with a break-up speech.

Rachel continued, finally looking at him. "Noah, I know you're a good person."

"I'm trying to be, Rachel," he said sincerely. "I want to be better." He took his hand off the steering wheel, inching it toward her but not quite making it.

"I know," she said, taking his hand. "So I have a request. Since we only have a few months left before graduation, can you try to show me more of your sweet side and less of your jerk side? You've been doing quite well, but with everything that's happened this week and the way you were acting around Hanna was rather upsetting for me."

Puck almost protested that he wasn't doing anything wrong and that she was too paranoid. But he decided just to agree. "Yeah, Rach. You have nothing to worry about...with...you know...Hanna."

"I'm pleased to hear that," she said, looking at her lap.

Puck could tell that she wasn't happy yet. "Is there more we should talk about?"

"Probably not right now."

"Uh...ok," Puck replied to her vague answer. He tried to come up with something to say. "So, if I'm supposed to try extra hard to be nice, do you wanna try extra hard on something?"

Rachel looked up at him, expecting a sexual comment. "Yes..."

But Puck didn't have his mind in the gutter. He was being sincere. "Then you can work on being honest with me even when it's not easy."

She smiled with surprise. "Yes! I'll work on being more honest, more expressive, and more communicative!" she bubbled.

Puck was worried he wouldn't be able to handle a _more_ _expressive_ Rachel Berry. So he added, "And more sex-crazed."

"I hardly think there's a problem in that department," Rachel retorted.

"I don't know, it's not like you're jumpin' my bones right now...The clock's ticking, Rach. Graduation's right around the corner...Only so much time left for gettin' it on." He was only half-joking.

And Rachel recognized the truth to what he said.

"Fine. I'll be more sex-crazed...within reason," she qualified.

"_Reason_ doesn't really fit with _crazed_," he pointed out.

"No-ah!" Rachel mock-scolded him. "Your definition of sex-crazed includes unreasonable expectations of the frequency and circumstances in which we should engage in sexual behavior."

"Uh huh, you know it," he grinned wolfishly.

"So, _my_ definition of sex-crazed is the one I will follow," she concluded.

"Fine," he said, actually pleased by this outcome. "And I'll do my best to make these last months...sweet."

"Thank you, Noah."

"Starting with Valentine's Day," he said as he realized the big girly holiday was approaching.

"No, starting today, " Rachel declared.

"Like now?" he asked.

"Yes, please," she smiled at him.

"Ok...Now!" Puck exclaimed, transforming a blank expression into a goofy look that he decided was his new joke for Sweet Noah. He batted his eyelashes at her. "Is this sweet enough?"

"We'll see," Rachel giggled. "But we _should _make this a Valentine's Day to remember," she said wistfully, hoping for romance that would last her a lifetime.

And wishing that their relationship-end-date didn't require a lifetime of Valentine's Days to be compressed into this one day.

...

**A.N.** My apologies again for the long delay. Another family member has been diagnosed with late stage cancer, and I recently left town to visit a different member who was unexpectedly hospitalized. It has been a crazy and difficult time for me and my family. It appears that some things will be unsettled for a while, but I promise I won't abandon this story, even if it takes me a long time between updates. For this, I truly apologize. If I had it written already, I wouldn't drag it out. Unfortunately, it's still just in my head.

I'd planned to be farther along so that the Valentine's chapter would be ready around Valentine's Day. But it didn't work out. Sorry!

To those I owe messages, I'll be working on those next!

**Contest question: ** Which Guest stars on Glee have been ON Broadway? The first to name ALL will get a prize. Honorable mentions to those who get some, but not all stars right, and those who answer after the first person.


	28. Drifting Part 1

**Ch 28. Drifting (Part 1)**

**A.N.** Thank you to anyone reading. Huge apologies for the insanely long delay! Congratulations to **thisisnutz** for identifying the most correct answers in the contest question (oh so long ago). First honorable mention to **ClassicArtsLover** for having almost as many correct answers as our winner. Next honorable mentions go to **SassyBR** & **broadwaybound2016**! For those curious, the answer to the last contest question will be at the end of this chapter (because the list of Glee guest stars who starred on Broadway is soo long). Also, this chapter got so long that I broke it into 2 parts, so the new Contest Question is at the end of Part 2, to be posted relatively soon.

FYI, To those who've messaged me, I will reply, but I'm starting with the earliest ones-which were sent to me March! Sorry, everyone!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own glee or anything familiar.

…

Puck knew he shouldn't have gotten so mad at Rachel when he found out that she didn't tell him that Jacob Ben-Israel was back at McKinley High. But he hated being in the dark about important shit because people didn't think he could handle it. It was like everyone always thinks they know better than he does-like he can't be trusted to know what to do or how to act.

Of course, he _was_ wrong to go off on Rachel-he shouldn't have yelled like that. And she was _probably_ right that he would have done something stupid like beat that fucker to a bloody pulp and gotten himself arrested.

So he figured Rachel had _somewhat _understandable reasons for keeping Israel's return to school a secret.

And for that, Puck was walking on eggshells around her because of their fight, and he wasn't going to do anything to make her upset if he could help it. He had to at least try staying out of trouble since Rachel was so worried about it. But he couldn't ignore how fucked up it was that a pervbag criminal was allowed to come back to their school-and he had to figure out something he could do about it that wouldn't result in jail time or rejection of his college application.

Puck had given himself one day to make it through school after he'd caught a glimpse of that panty-stealing stalker in the halls. One day before he'd do something to put a stop to this bullshit. He didn't see Israel again the next day, but it still pissed him off that he was allowed to be there. He made a comment about it to Rachel on the way to school.

That's when she explained that the restraining order had some weird caveats or some shit. So Puck just nodded like he knew the meaning of the word 'caveats'.

But at school he went to see Principal Figgins.

"What can I do for you, Mr. Puckerman?" Figgins asked warily.

"You can tell me why Jacob Ben-Israel is allowed to be in school with Rachel Berry even after he violated a restraining order by stalking her and hiding in her bedroom and taking her...under-things."

Figgins seemed to jerk awake, his sleepy eyelids opening wide.

Puck asked with a sarcastic bite, "You _do_ know what happened, right?"

"Yes, of course I am aware of the situation, Mr. Puckerman. And Miss Pillsbury worked tirelessly to come up with a scheduling solution for Mr. Ben-Israel to avoid not just Miss Berry, but all of the students in the police report from the gathering that recently took place. Including yourself."

"He should be in _jail_, not at school with the girl he's _stalking_. How is _that_ fair?" Puck complained with more whine than he intended.

Figgins shook his head helplessly. "It may not be _fair_, but when he re-enrolled he had already served his sentence."

"Wait," Puck interrupted. "You're saying he actually went to jail? Why didn't I know that?"

Figgins shrugged slightly. "Obviously, I can't have knowledge of what you do or do not know and why you do or do not know it."

"Huh," Puck snorted at the smart-ass remark from his principal.

Figgins continued. "But I believe the arrest occurred over the winter break. I don't know the details either except that after his jail time he's now on house arrest except for school, work, and approved locations. We are legally obligated to provide him with public education." He narrowed his eyes at Puck. "Since you're not here with a teacher or another authority figure, can I assume that you have not had an incident with Mr. Ben-Israel?"

"No-I mean no, I haven't had an incident," Puck corrected quickly as Figgins' eyebrow raised.

"Good!" Figgins exclaimed, clapping his hands cheerfully. "Then this meeting is over, is it not?"

"Yeah, it's over," Puck conceded.

...

That seriously sucked. He wished there was something he could do. He'd been pretty proud of the idea to go to the Principal-following the rules all resourcefully and shit-to do something about that fucknard. But now if he wanted to do something he knew it would be illegal or whatever and that would probably upset Rachel.

And knowing that little shitface would be around for the rest of the year with nothing he could do about it put Puck in a bad mood.

So when Rachel came to him at lunch with a rambling story and asked him to do something he never wanted to do again since the _Run Joey Run_ disaster, his first response was, "No."

...

That morning, after Puck had gone off in another direction, Kurt approached Rachel. "Walk you to class?" he asked as he offered her his left arm.

"Why thank you, Kurt! What's the occasion?" she asked without expecting an actual answer.

"I have a favor to ask you, but it's a good one," Kurt said, ready to play to Rachel's vanity and drive for fame with his request. "I'd like you to star in my film project. And you really can't say no because you're perfect for the role and it would just devastate me not to have my first choice favorite. Please play the part I wrote with you in mind!" He had blown through his speech so quickly he had to pause to catch his breath.

Rachel was confused and flattered. "Of course I'll be your star, Kurt! How exciting! You're casting a film? That you wrote? Why?"

"Well, I've been dabbling with writing for a while now. Not necessarily screenplays...I've actually been working on a novel since freshman year. But now I've decided to apply to film school..."

"What? But I thought you wanted to be a performer!"

"I do," Kurt admitted. "But I've been getting the feeling at my auditions that my voice or something isn't what they're looking for...So I'm trying other options for staying in the arts and doing what I love."

"I can't believe this! Those schools must be crazy not to see your talent! Don't you think that you could be wrong about their decisions about you?"

Kurt shrugged. "I could be wrong. But I want a backup plan. And if I go this route, I can cast my friends in my films!"

Rachel admitted that would be excellent.

"So I know this is last minute, but we'll have to start shooting this weekend. It shouldn't be too hard because it's just a short film, much shorter than my original screenplay. Artie will co-direct the scenes I'm in. For technical things like lights and sound I have some of the AV club helping...like Lauren Zizes...Will that be a problem?"

"No..." Rachel said slowly. "That won't be a problem for me."

"Fantastic! And I hope it won't be a problem for Puck...because that's the other favor I have to ask you..."

Rachel did not have a good feeling about this. When Kurt asked for her to convince her boyfriend to be in his film, she told him that she doubted she could honor that favor.

Kurt was undeterred. "I'm sure you can find ways to be persuasive, Rachel."

"You may be overestimating my…talents in that arena," Rachel answered falteringly. She wasn't sure if she had anything to offer Noah that would be tempting enough to make him be the lead in Kurt's film. She could try _withholding_…certain things, but that's a lose-lose situation, really.

Kurt nodded. "Well, this bit of info might help. I had to cut out Sam's character for time, and he's dying to be involved. So I might have to cast him to play opposite you in what is supposed to be Puck's role."

"I still doubt that will drive Noah to participate...unless..." Rachel paused and then gasped. "Would there be...romantic scenes?" she squeaked.

Kurt chuckled. "That's right!"

Rachel was quick to say that of course she would be very professional about acting, but she wasn't sure Noah would be happy either way. "He won't want to do it and he won't want me to do it with anyone else," she predicted. "Perhaps I would have an easier time convincing him if we could see the scripts...to know just what we're agreeing to do."

"Fine!" Kurt sighed dramatically. "I'll give you a copy of the screenplay. But you have to wait to look at it until tomorrow."

"Why? Isn't sooner better?"

"No, you have to wait because I have to let Blaine read it first. He might not care, but I don't want to take the chance that he'd be hurt."

"Then I will respect your wishes, Kurt. That's very kind of you to be so considerate of Blaine's feelings. But I'm surprised he hasn't already seen it. Didn't you say you've been working on this for years?"

"Yes, but nobody else has read it. It's hard to explain...it's so personal...I guess I was afraid of showing that part of myself if it wasn't perfect. And it might not be perfect yet, but this is the moment of truth. So promise me that if I give you this copy now you won't say anything and you'll wait one day to read it so I don't hurt his feelings."

"Promise," Rachel affirmed a bit nervously.

"Oh, and don't mention this to Mercedes. Please," he added as an afterthought. He explained in response to Rachel's puzzled look. "I had to cut out her part. For time and to make a cohesive story. I want her to hear it from me first. I just haven't figured out how to tell her."

"Of course I won't mention it. But if you're so concerned, don't you think she could have a small role?"

Kurt raised one eyebrow as he appraised her. "Honestly, Rachel, how well do you think she'd take it to have a bit part in the Kurt and Rachel Show?"

"Is that really your title?" she asked excitedly.

"No. Obviously," Kurt snapped patronizingly as he rolled his eyes. "But she has been my BFF and it really gets under her skin when you get the big parts and she gets scraps here and there."

"Ok...I suppose I understand that. But did you really write a whole storyline for Mercedes that you had to cut?"

Kurt stared at her before deciding that Rachel didn't realize she sounded so snotty. She probably sincerely had no sweet clue about the lives of others around her. "Actually, yes, I have written about her in the novel-size work I've been trying to write. I had included lots of interesting aspects like being on the Cheerios together as outcasts who got to the inner circle, then how she quit and stranded me there...There's really quite a bit to tell. It just didn't have such a great parallel with the main story I'm going for in this short film submission."

Rachel flushed with embarrassment as Kurt got more and more animated while he spoke about Mercedes. "I should have realized how much a part of your life she is-of course you would write about her. I apologize."

Kurt shrugged. "It's fine. No big deal. Just do me a favor and don't say anything to Mercedes. And of course make sure you and your Mohawked boyfriend are on board."

"But if I can't read the script yet and we have to film this weekend, what should I tell Noah that it's about? I'm of course going to support you, but Noah will need convincing."

"Ok, good point. You can tell him that it's the story of two frenemies, that's you and me," he smiled conspiratorially. "One who dates her former bully and the other who befriends his." When Rachel's expression seemed troubled, Kurt tried to smooth things over. "Remember, I started it a while ago but it evolved. Please promise me that you won't get upset about the story or your character."

That sounded ominous to Rachel. "What do you think I would get upset about?"

Kurt shifted uncomfortably. "The story is kind of...based on our lives... with little twists...so it might feel really close to home."

The idea worried her, but she didn't want to pass up a chance to improve her acting resume and help out her friend. It couldn't be too personal if Kurt was willing to film it, right? "Oh...well, I _am_ curious as to why you are ready now to share it with us and some college admissions board..." she ventured.

"Honestly? Out of desperation I guess," Kurt shrugged with chagrin. "I started panicking about my chances as a performance student, and this screenplay is the only thing I have that's close enough to being filmable. Please say you'll do it!" he pleaded.

"Kurt, I already said yes," Rachel smiled hesitantly.

He let out a sigh of relief. "Perfect! I just hope everyone else will be as supportive as you are on my new path as a force offstage."

Rachel nodded. "Well, I support you even if I think you're definitely a first-class performer for stage and screen. And I'm sure you'll find your way to the life of your dreams!" she enthused.

"Wow! Save it for the camera, Rachel," Kurt joked.

Rachel assumed that Kurt was slightly surprised by her loyalty and confidence in him, so she didn't want to make him uncomfortable with more compliments. "I'm going to hug you now," she warned before wrapping her arms around him.

Kurt let out a little laugh and shook his head, but he hugged her back and smiled. "I knew I could count on you. Now don't let me down with Puck!" he called to her as they parted ways.

...

Rachel wasn't the first actor Kurt had cast, but she was the first to ask for the screenplay. Blaine was the first person he had talked to about his film, and his wonderful boyfriend agreed immediately to do anything he could to help. _Of course he did_,_ because he's perfectly dreamy_, Kurt thought as he walked the rest of the way to his class alone. And now that he thought about it, maybe Blaine _had_ hinted that he'd like to read the full material. It was Kurt who kept putting off sharing what he'd written, which was silly because it had to come out sooner or later if he was going to ask people to act it out!

Rachel wasn't the second actor he'd cast either. Kurt had easily roped Finn into the film already. Asking in front of his dad and Carole didn't hurt. And somehow Finn had persuaded Quinn to do her part so Kurt didn't even have to ask. But Finn and Quinn had a lot of after-school activities and sports, so they got to work early shooting some scenes yesterday instead of waiting for the first big shoot with the whole group over the weekend. Kurt had them both record some voice-overs that introduced their 'characters' and shot a few scenes of them walking hand-in-hand down the hall during school. So they had both read lines from a page but they hadn't asked to read the whole screenplay. Probably because they didn't have a lot of free time. But Kurt could admit that he should have realized his actors would want to read the material he'd written. He should have given his work to Blaine a long time ago. He was his boyfriend, after all.

But it was Quinn's current boyfriend who wasn't too happy. Not that Kurt could blame him for feeling left out while Quinn walked down memory lane with her old boyfriend. He didn't say that exactly, but when Sam came to Kurt asking about being in the film, Kurt assumed as much. And Kurt felt bad that he didn't really have a role for him. After apologizing, he asked if Sam wanted to help with the behind-the-scenes work.

He nodded gratefully. "Thanks, man! I'll help as much as I can around my schedule," he promised.

"No, thank You!" Kurt emphasized. "I know you're really busy."

Sam, of course, made time to be around for Quinn's scenes with Finn.

And they were mostly minor scenes. Though Kurt hadn't said it to either of them, Finn and Quinn didn't have spotlight status in his short film. Their characters were there as part of the drama between the starring couples: Rachel and Puck, and Kurt and Blaine. But Kurt wanted to get some of their perspectives too, as the kids who seemed to have it all but really didn't. That's where the star quarterback and head cheerleader whose lives fell apart for all to see could shine in his film.

...

So Sam was spending time hanging out after school doing the lighting while Kurt recorded some scenes of Quinn and Finn in the halls. He didn't know why he was so nervous that Quinn would fall back in love with Finn or something stupid like that. Finn seemed so awkward and Quinn did a lot of eye rolling.

Sam was relieved, but he let his guard down too soon.

If Kurt had known what would happen over the next few weeks, he would have written a film-within-a-film with a dramatic line like, "There was something about bringing the past back to life that would change their future."

But nobody predicted how relationships would rise and fall under the catalyst of reliving the past.

...

Rachel was dying to read the scenes she was supposed to play, but she wanted to respect Kurt's wishes to let Blaine be the first. Then she reasoned with herself that the only way to convince Noah to participate is if she knew what to tell him about the film and their roles. So she took a few peeks at the first page during class and couldn't wait to talk to Noah before lunch.

That first page only had character descriptions and a brief plot summary, and her character was described as "obsessed with stardom to the point of being annoying and single-minded, who later proves she can be a driven and loyal friend." But the good in that description and the others she read gave her the feeling that this was going to be great.

...

"I have a request for Sweet Noah," she smiled flirtatiously.

Puck grinned automatically, but within seconds his suspicions were raised. "Uh-oh, I knew I'd regret agreeing to the whole 'sweet for the rest of the year' thing."

Rachel's smile bordered on evil, Puck decided, and he was curious about what could be going on. "What's the request?"

"Be my leading man!"

"Huh?"

"Kurt's doing a film and we're the leads!"

"Huh?" That made no sense to Puck, which he told Rachel. She explained what Kurt told her and why she wanted them to play the roles together. "Besides doing a favor for our friend, _my best friend_, it's basically playing parts written for us. And I think reliving our first sparks of romance will be good for us."

"Re-living?"

Rachel explained further that Kurt's film was based on his perspective of real life since the start of high school. "So it won't be hard to go through the dialogue...or the kissing scenes..." she finished nervously. She felt her cheeks heat up as she started blushing.

"Kissing scenes?" Puck asked with one eyebrow raised.

"Yes. And I've already promised Kurt that I would help him so if you're not going to then someone else will have to..."

"No," Puck interrupted.

"No, you don't want someone else to kiss me so you'll do it?" Rachel asked hopefully.

"No. I don't think either of us should do it," he said gruffly.

She gaped at him. "But why?"

"I don't think Kurt should do it either. I don't like the idea of having our lives out there like that. I'm pretty sure I know what he could be covering in this little project. You said we're leads but I'm guessing Quinn and Finn are in it too, right? It's _my_ life, _our lives_, isn't it?" He didn't really wait for an answer, but he saw Rachel nod. He continued, "If he's gonna make a movie he should write something himself…original or whatever."

"I understand your point. I actually have some discomfort with the idea as well," she admitted.

"Good! So we won't do it! Let Kurt make a different movie."

"The problem is he doesn't have time. The deadline for his application is too soon, like next week."

"Sorry about his luck," Puck shrugged. "He should have planned ahead."

"Says the boy who almost missed auditions without my help," she reminded him.

Puck didn't want to admit that she had a point.

Rachel explained further. "Kurt has a bad feeling about his auditions for music schools and he needs this, Noah. Please, we have to help him!"

"What's in it for me? Besides humiliation?" Puck questioned with a gleam in his eye. "What do you have in mind to make it worthwhile for the Puckdaddy?"

"No-ah!" Rachel admonished as she blushed. "If there's anything in it for you, as you put it, it's nothing I could describe to you in school," she whispered.

"Then let's talk about this later when we're alone," he winked. He licked his lips as he started dreaming up 'requests' of his own for Rachel.

But he had no intention of doing Kurt's stupid movie thing.

...

Before sixth period, Kurt rushed up to Rachel. "So, how are your powers of persuasion? Do I have both of my leads confirmed?"

Rachel ducked her head a little. "I'm still working on it. I'm definitely...meeting resistance. But I think I'm making progress."

"Did you already tell him that if he doesn't do it, I'll get Sam to do it?"

Now Rachel knew the story was based on their lives and that her leading man was supposed to be the embodiment of Noah Puckerman, so she almost laughed out loud. "Sam? As a _bad boy who's reformed by love_?" She shook her head. "It's quite a stretch. But questionable casting aside, I honestly don't know if the threat of me kissing Sam would be enough to persuade Noah."

"Wait, did you start reading it already?" Kurt asked suspiciously, recognizing his wording from the character summaries at the beginning of the screenplay.

"I glanced at it," Rachel nodded sheepishly. "I'm sorry! But you must admit that Sam doesn't quite have that bad boy persona. He's a nice guy through and through."

"I know," Kurt nodded and grimaced. "It's not an ideal casting choice. But I had to cut out his parts to make this a short film submission, and he really wants to be involved. He said he'd play any part or do any of the crew work."

"Wow, really? I didn't know Sam cared so much about acting and film."

"I don't think he does. He cares about Quinn. Finn and Quinn have roles in my story too. Did I fail to mention that?" Kurt asked innocently.

"Yes, you did...though Noah assumed as much when I told him about it. So this really will be like reenacting our lives?" Rachel asked nervously. "And if Sam plays Noah's part..."

Kurt sighed. "No, it's not exactly the same. And yes, you'd have to act romantic with Sam. Didn't we already establish that?"

"In front of _Quinn_?" Rachel asked, getting to the point with an anxious strain.

"Oh! Right, yes. I suppose I could ban her from the set for those scenes...but that wouldn't go over well with our favorite blond hellcat."

"No, I can't imagine that it would."

"So just get Puckerman on board," Kurt prodded.

Rachel resolved to make it happen.

...

She was surprised when Noah presented her with a list of 'demands' to secure his participation.

"I've been working on this all day," he grinned as he opened the door to his truck for her to climb in to go home.

His smile struck her as charmingly boyish and devastatingly sexy at the same time.

And the _Demands_ were a combination of perverted boy and villainous mastermind. He actually had a list-complete with explicit sketches to illustrate-and a percentage value next to each item.

"Dare I ask what these numbers indicate?"

Puck grinned wider. "Those are the odds of me actually being in Kurt's movie if we do each of these things." He was quite pleased with his work.

"So even if I do this," Rachel pointed at a disgusting cartoon depicting who-knows-what. "There's only a 95% chance that you'll be in the film?" she asked incredulously.

Puck nodded proudly. "Yep. I couldn't make it too easy."

Rachel's eyes darted across the page as she assessed her options. "So if I do this AND this," she pointed to two low-scoring acts, "then that adds up to 110% chance?"

Puck frowned and grabbed the notepad. "No, no adding," he said, silently cursing himself for thinking he was so smart when really he was so stupid.

Rachel smiled slyly, sensing that she could make this work. She leaned up to whisper in his ear as she drew a line up his thigh with her finger. "So you wouldn't want to come over and do numbers 10 and 11?"

He cleared his throat with a strangled sound. "Now?"

Emboldened by his reaction, Rachel pressed her body to his from her place in the truck. She kissed his neck lightly, her tongue flicking in and out as she reached his chiseled jaw line. She whispered, "As soon as you can get us there."

Puck drove to Rachel's house in record time.

...

Of course he couldn't get upstairs fast enough. Rachel enjoyed his urgency and this small power she had over him. She was prepared to do a little teasing along with the pleasing. She pushed him onto her bed-and he willingly allowed her to do so; otherwise she'd never have enough strength behind that tiny hand.

He was slightly amused and mostly turned on by in-control-Rachel. Then desire completely overtook amusement as she stripped down and crawled on top of him. The sight of her with her hair flowing and her back arching slightly as she made her way closer...she was so fucking hot. That tight little ass was in the air and her boobs just brushed over his skin. He shivered.

She smiled before kissing a trail from his lips down, down, down. And she went at him like a pro! Had it been that long since they'd been alone together that he had forgotten how incredible she was? When did she start doing that trick with her tongue? The way her lips would glide up and down? Holy hell. He exhaled roughly as he tried to hold his shit together. "Rach," he moaned. It was just enough to get her to pause.

He grabbed her and turned her over on her back. She deserved a reward, that was for damn sure.

...

And in a few minutes, they were both rewarded.

"That was wonderful," Rachel sighed contently.

"Mmm-hmm," he agreed sleepily.

"So does this mean you'll do the movie?"

Puck rolled his eyes, but he knew Rachel couldn't see that from her spot in his arms. "I'm still undecided. I'll have to consult the list too-you might have missed a few requirements," he declared.

"Missed a few requirements!" she exclaimed in offense.

He chuckled. "I'm joking, babe. You were amazing. Always. Seriously, like impressive."

"Oh, good. I'm glad you enjoyed it." Rachel settled back down into bed. She composed herself. "It's a shame then that this may be our romantic interlude for a while..."

"What?"

"Well, Kurt's second choice for your role is Sam. And to make our scenes together believable, especially the make-out scene, I'm sure we'll have to employ Method Acting," she stated nonchalantly.

"Method acting?" he repeated.

"Yes, we'll have to practice our scenes of course, but we'll also need to spend time together without the interference of our significant others to confuse our emotions."

Puck knew she had to be bluffing. She had to be. "I doubt Quinn would go for that."

"Possibly not. I have no control over that. I can only control my own actions. And to play Sam's girlfriend, I'll need to get you out of my system. That is of course unless there is anything else on your list that we can agree would be an appropriate compromise..." she trailed off as she let her hand wander beneath the sheets.

Clearly there were things on his list that they both knew that she'd do willingly even if he didn't agree to the film. But he figured she was serious about withholding for some length of time. He'd like to avoid that. Time wasn't on their side.

"So what exactly would I have to do?" Puck asked with a sigh as he held her.

She didn't lift her head from her place on his chest. "Actually...I'm not entirely sure about the details...I haven't read it yet."

"What? Then how can you keep swearing that it's so good?" Puck exclaimed. He must have shifted his position too much or spoken too loudly because Rachel sat up in bed and pulled her shirt on-followed unfortunately by the rest of her clothes. He reluctantly got dressed too while she talked.

"I just have a good feeling about it," she shrugged. "Well, I read a little, but I promised Kurt I'd wait until after he gives it to Blaine so that Blaine will be first."

Puck flopped onto the bed and sighed in exasperation. "You just have a good feeling? That's all?"

"No, that's not all," she said indignantly, hands on her hips. "It's important to Kurt and it's important to me."

He sat there silently for a moment. The whole thing was so dumb-waiting to read something after your gay friend's boyfriend reads it first, having to act like yourself on camera so your friend can get into film school, going along with all this to make your girlfriend happy-all so dumb. Puck didn't even know what to say. Being with Rachel definitely added some weirdness to his life. But when she squirmed her little body up next to him in bed and asked, "Please think about it, for me?" with a little pout, he couldn't help smiling.

And he couldn't help tickling her for being so weird.

Ticking turned to groping and kissing.

They didn't hear the footsteps on the stairs until it was too late. It could have been worse-they were just caught rolling around on the bed fully clothed-a few minutes earlier would have been really bad.

Rachel was silent in her embarrassment after squeaking an apology. Puck apologized too before standing in the awkward quiet of the two men's glares.

But when her dads sent him home for the night, he still heard Rachel's laugh in his ear.

...

Sitting through her dads' lecture about her behavior, Rachel's mind drifted to her upcoming film role. She could hardly wait until she was finally allowed to read Kurt's screenplay.

...

But she did wait that extra day (aside from a few peeks). The story was incredibly long and detailed even though the result was only supposed to be a 20 minute short film. And maybe it was because she was so close to the real-life events or because she had such great affection for everyone (most everyone) involved, but the feeling she got when she read the story was so incredible that she thought her heart would burst with excitement to be a part of something so special.

She had a few moments of concern when reading the script, so that night she called Kurt to make sure that some parts were fiction not fact.

...

The next day she passed the screenplay to Noah after she finished the last pages during study period. "Here, read it!" she exclaimed without preamble. "It's actually quite good and does have several differences from real life. Nobody will know what's true. Besides, only the admissions board will see it."

"Until it gets leaked to YouTube," he grumbled.

"Who would ever do that?"

"I don't know...Kurt? Trying to go viral or some shit," he shrugged.

Rachel nodded because it wasn't out of the realm of possibilities that Kurt would try to fast-track to success by making the video public. It was something Rachel knew she might consider too, if she were in Kurt's place. "Well, here," she pushed the script toward him again. "Read it and then decide."

He took the screenplay and sighed. "Fine. I'll read it. But if I still don't want to do it, that's it, right? No more bugging me about it?"

"I suppose..."

"And you won't do it if I don't, right?"

"No."

"No, you won't do it?" Puck asked to make sure they were on the same page.

"No," Rachel chirped. "I'm still doing it, with or without you. A promise is a promise."

She flounced down the hall with a smile while he stood in shock.

But she really hoped he would cave in soon.

...

He didn't really read the screenplay until he was home from school and could concentrate without Rachel peering over his shoulder and expressing how much she liked what she read through her little giggles and sighs.

Reading the script didn't win Puck over at all. In fact, it convinced him that he definitely did not want this movie made. He didn't understand why Rachel was so in love with it. He had a nearly opposite reaction. He didn't want anyone to read it, let alone see it acted out. Not only did he (or 'his character') have to be the dick who throws slushies at Rachel and impregnates his best friend's girlfriend, he also had to act like some kind of tortured freak who was acting out due to a bad home life. It sickened him to read how _his character's_ life outside of school was so hard and how his life was turned around for the better when 'Rachel' took a chance on him.

He couldn't believe Kurt wrote it!

On one hand, Puck was disconcerted by how close to the truth it really was. How did that little prick know how hard it was for Puck to get through stuff at home with his asshole dad-and how much harder it was after his dad left? On the other hand, he kind of hated the obvious way that stuff was used to play up sympathy or whatever, to justify all the shit he pulled that really shouldn't be excused. He acted like an ass so he needed to own it, no matter what led him to take out his frustrations that way.

And seriously, what in the world made Kurt write that his 'character' was "super depressed, emo, and needy behind his badass exterior," Really? "A bad boy reformed by love!" What the actual fuck?

Puck read things about his life expressed in ways he never could have. He didn't realize people knew things like this about him. Kurt had been around a while (ok, since they were 5 years old) but to have him get so many things right-even though some of it was wrong-was really unnerving.

Plus, there was this whole thing about 'Kurt' attempting suicide because of 'Karofsky' and all of the general bullying. Suicide? Shit, did that really go down? And was Kurt trying to make it seem like the way 'Blaine' saved 'Kurt' from getting his death wish was the same as the way 'Rachel' saved 'Puck' from doing the same thing? Because he was not fucking suicidal. And Rachel sure as hell didn't save him from slitting his wrists or whatever.

He was ready to ask Rachel about this steaming pile of bullshit when he picked her up for school the next day.

"Rach, what do you like about this piece of crap?" Puck asked as he slammed his script on the seat in the truck cab.

She eyed him curiously in his unexpected outburst. "I like that it's heartfelt, funny, sad but uplifting, and really insightful."

"Insightful?" he exclaimed incredulously. "Do you think I'm a whiny fuck on a suicide spiral like the 'Puck' in Kurt's movie?"

"No, of course not." Rachel calmly explained that everyone is a caricature of themselves for dramatic effect because Kurt has to make his plot points in short time. "I even talked to Kurt who confirmed that the suicide angle is there for drama-as obviously he never tried to do that. And even small details are there just to make the film more dramatic. Like I'm playing a character who is so extreme that she doesn't resemble me at all."

Puck raised his eyebrow. He thought Rachel's character was _Exactly_ like her. But he decided giving her the look was enough-or too much already. He really shouldn't say anything to upset her. But he couldn't let it go. "Do you think I was like this? That you and glee club saved me from a life of crime or worse?" Puck realized instantly that saying it out loud didn't seem _that far_ from the truth. But he kept silent, waiting for Rachel.

"I-no, I don't think of you that way." _Not quite that way_, she qualified mentally. She decided he seemed too sensitive right now to point out all of the ways he's similar to the character. But she agreed that the depiction of 'Rachel' being his savior was off-base. "If anything, it was Quinn, well Beth really, who could be considered your motivation." She looked into his eyes and sensed that he needed more encouragement, so she continued sincerely. "But really, it was you. You didn't get _rescued_. You took charge, found your drive, and you steered away from the wrong path. Now you're on your way to a bright future!" She kissed him lightly, unsure if he was still too upset by the character and her insistence that he participate in the film.

But Puck kissed her back passionately as he realized how much Rachel really had done to help him, even if he had started seeing her with other motivations. He started to calm down.

"Thank you," he breathed as he broke from her lips.

"For this kiss?" she smiled quizzically.

"For everything."

...

They didn't discuss Kurt's film for the rest of the ride to school. Rachel knew that Noah needed to settle down first before he could be further persuaded. But as they walked to their lockers, she had to say a bit more.

"I really think we have quite an opportunity here with Kurt's film."

Puck grunted. "Opportunity? Yeah, right."

She continued. "Maybe it's selfish of me, but I don't see just the acting opportunity. I see the way that we can both benefit from reliving the bad times to get to the good times. I'm already reliving some of the struggles. We _have_ been fighting quite a bit lately."

"And me throwing slushies at you is gonna help?" he grumbled. "Don't see how."

She stopped walking, standing still in the hallway. "We start there, yes. But then you get to woo me all over again." She smiled and reached for his arm.

"Woo you, huh?" he smirked.

"That's right," she nodded. "I caught the _Sweet Caroline_ scene in Kurt's script, didn't you?"

"Guess I hadn't gotten that far," he mumbled, already feeling embarrassed about what he would have to do for this movie.

"What better way to get closer than to relive our love story?" she asked.

"Besides keeping it private instead of acting it out for the world to see?"

"The _world_? Really, Noah, I think my flare for the dramatic is rubbing off on you!" she laughed.

Puck shook his head. "Well, maybe not the _world_," he rolled his eyes. "But you know what I mean."

"Yes, a version of our story will be made public to a restricted number of our peers as well as some college professors. I think it's worth it. You have to admit, it makes for a powerful narrative," Rachel said.

"I admit nothing," Puck deadpanned as he opened his locker. Then he turned to face her again. "And never say I have _flare_ for anything ever again."

Rachel smiled and rolled her eyes. His jokes-even offensive ones-were good signs that he would make the right decision. If she could provide just enough of a push in the right direction.

...

And ultimately she was successful.

She didn't know that both Finn and Sam had asked Noah if he was doing the film. She didn't know that Kurt needled him about letting Sam step in to be the man he couldn't be on camera. All Rachel knew was that by the end of the day, Noah mumbled that he was in and everyone could stop bugging him about it.

"Oh, Noah, that's great! Thank you!" She flung her arms around him and reached up for a kiss. "I'm certain Kurt thanks you too!"

"Yeah, yeah," Puck shrugged.

Rachel took a deep breath. "Now just to make sure,..you don't have a problem with Lauren Zizes helping Kurt with some of the filming, right?"

"No. Why would I?"

"You wouldn't," Rachel nodded. "I just wanted to make sure that seeing her again wouldn't make you feel uncomfortable in any way to play out our romance for the film."

"Seeing her again? We see her every day in glee, and I'm not uncomfortable there."

Rachel gaped at him for a moment before slowly answering. "Lauren hasn't been back to glee this semester since we got back from winter break. I guess I shouldn't be surprised that you didn't notice. Mr. Schue didn't make a big deal about it because we aren't in danger of having too few participants for Regionals. And I'm glad I don't have to worry about you thinking about your ex-girlfriend." (_That_ ex, at least.)

Puck furrowed his brow. Wow. He really hadn't noticed Lauren wasn't around anymore. "Well, if you're cool with it, I'm cool with it. But we could use it as one last chance to back out of this whole thing..." he suggested.

"No," Rachel stated firmly. "We're committed. At least...I'm committed."

"Yeah, ok, fine. We're committed."

...

So they both showed up in the choir room after school for the start of what promised to be the prequel to a weekend from hell for Puck. When he saw Kurt in some silly beret probably meant to made him look like a director, he had to bite his cheeks to keep from laughing and making a rude joke about a French mime. But Puck had to bust his balls a little for forcing him to spend his free time on this shit. "So if it's just based on real life, that means you're not really any good at writing, right?"

Kurt bristled at the question but answered diplomatically. "The best writers always say to write what you know. I'm sure I'll gain more experiences in life, have more to say in the future; as long as I can get training in my craft. And that's where I need your help of course."

"Of course," Puck smirked sourly.

"So to ease you into this, Puckerman, we're going to film some scenes of just you and Rachel. And you get to do your voiceover," Kurt told him. "We're starting on page 15."

"What?" Puck exclaimed. "We're not going in order?"

Kurt scolded him for being so naive and unprepared. But he didn't yell too much because he didn't want Puck to quit. "I'm sorry, Puck. I should have told you. Please take a few minutes to read the script. We'll record you for your voiceover first so you'll just have to read the lines here before we film the scene with you and Rachel."

Puck nodded with annoyance and sat down to read while Rachel chided Kurt for letting his directorial power go to his head. "You're already treating the actors poorly! And you think starting with a kissing scene on school property is _easing into it_?"

That really made Puck want to see what Kurt wrote.

What he read was Kurt's attempt to explain why Puck started dating Rachel. The first time. Kurt didn't write that it was a calling from a divine dream, but it did involve a push from his disappointed mother-"who didn't even know yet about the goya her son knocked up," as he was supposed to say in his voiceover.

"Kurt, you know I don't say shit like 'goya' right?"

"But in this film, your mother does," Kurt replied.

Puck huffed and shook his head as Rachel took a seat beside him. He leaned over to whisper to her. "Dude, how did he know all this about our lives and stuff?"

Rachel rolled her eyes at being called 'dude' but didn't bother commenting on it. "I may have told Kurt a few things. He _is_ my best friend. That's not a problem for you, right?"

Puck just gave up on fighting it. "I guess I can't complain about making out with you on camera," he smirked.

She smiled. "Good."

...

**A.N.** You wouldn't believe how much of this I had already written before the last glee eps aired. So I hope the similarities were fun to catch even though they weren't intentional. Thanks to everyone for sticking with me even though my life is making it hard to update. Let me know what you think! I'll try to get Drifting Part 2 finished soon!

**Answer to last chapter's question:** Many guest stars have also performed on Broadway. Kristen Chenoweth, Idina Menzel, Jonathan Groff, Neil Patrick Harris, John Lloyd Young, Victor Garber, Debra Monk, John Stamos, Carol Burnett, Molly Shannon, Josh Groban, Loretta Devine, Kathy Griffin, Cheyenne Jackson, Patti LuPone, Ricky Martin, Brian Stokes Mitchell, Jeff Goldblum, Telly Leung. Interestingly, Ian Brennan (who counts as an actor as the Narrator on Glee and not just a producer/creator/writer) has acted in New York and Chicago theatres. And Grant Gustin performed in the national tour of West Side Story (though not on Broadway, so I wasn't counting him or Ian). Lots of others like Gwyneth Paltrow and Jessalyn Gilsig have done theatre off Broadway.


	29. Drifting Part 2

**Ch 29. Drifting (Part 2)**

Apologies for the delays again. Besides the holidays, my excuse is related to sickness, 2 minor car accidents (no injuries except to the cars & my wallet), traveling for work, and for a death in my family. But I wouldn't say that this chapter is sad because of that, just late.

Thank you to those reading and those leaving reviews! You help keep me writing when times are tough.

Best wishes to you for the new year! I thought I'd be able to finish this "Kurt's movie" section in this chapter, but it got super-long. So the good news is that I have a lot already written for the next chapter, and I should be able to get it done a lot faster than my recent history would predict.

Warning: Mature scene at end of chapter.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own glee, songs, or anything familiar.

…

Puck and Rachel were filming their first scenes for Kurt's movie after school without the other 'actors'. Kurt had been filming separate scenes for a while now and was planning to get everyone together over the weekend to do all the group scenes.

"Ok Puck," Kurt started. "Are you ready to record your voice-over?"

Puck shrugged. "I guess." He looked up from the script, but was startled by what he saw. "What's with the camera? You said I was just reading this shit." Reading this 'character intro' was going to suck hard enough without adding acting all emo on camera to the mix. He really hated this movie thing and had no idea why he didn't just leave.

No, he knew why.

He glanced at Rachel who was reading her copy of the screenplay in the back of the choir room. She said she didn't want to disturb him and his 'acting process' while he prepared to do this big favor for her.

He didn't quite understand it himself, but somehow because it was so important to her, he finally resigned himself to putting up with the torture he knew he was in for with this movie.

Torture like reciting this 'poor me' voice-over with a camera in his face.

"Seriously Kurt, you said I just have to read this, so why do you have that fucking thing pointed at me?"

"You don't have to worry your pretty head about it," Kurt told him patronizingly. "You _do_ just need to read this. The camera will be on because I don't know what will be easier to edit, recording audio only here or video too and splicing in something else. So I'm doing all voice-overs both ways."

"You don't know how to edit this shit together?" Puck shouted incredulously.

"Calm down," Kurt whispered as Rachel rushed over to find out what was happening and see if she needed to diffuse the situation.

But Kurt was able to explain without her help. "I have to edit the 20-min film plus create a 2-min trailer, and yes, I don't know much about editing. Hence why I am trying to go to school to learn."

Puck sighed. "Fine. But what are you going to show while I say this? In the movie, I mean. Because if I'm going to have to say this crap all over again and do something other than read it off this page, I'm not gonna waste time doing it now."

"You won't have to act this out, I promise. I'll just show some footage of you playing football."

"Dude, we lost last weekend. We're not in the running for the state championship anymore. Football's over."

"Yes, I'm aware. I have the film already from earlier this year. I even have archival footage from sophomore year. So no worries on that front."

"That's really weird and creepy. Like totally fucked up."

Kurt shrugged it off, though he did feel a little stalkerish now that Puck called him out. He had simply found Finn Hudson incredibly fascinating back then...before they were step-brothers and Kurt realized how silly his crush had been.

"Whatever," Kurt answered dismissively. "Just be grateful I have those football movies because it means there's one less scene where you have to act on camera. Unless you really want me to scrap the football shots and write some acting directives for you."

That sounded worse to Puck. "I'll just read the damn thing."

"That's the spirit!" Kurt clapped him on the back with fake enthusiam. "I'll record now. Action!"

Begrudgingly, Puck read his stupid lines that he never would have said in real life. Anything to get to that make-out scene with Rachel faster.

"You may think that I, Noah Puckerman, have high school by the balls. And you'd be right. I made up my own badass nickname-even my teachers call me Puck. I have a sweet Mohawk, my own truck, I'm a star athlete on the football, basketball, and baseball teams, and I bang every hot chick in school. Hell, I'm even getting some hot cougar action from my pool cleaning business. So yeah, even though I'm failing a couple classes, I've still got this high school thing down. Who needs Math anyway?"

Puck's upbeat tone changed and his shoulders dropped even as he sat in his chair. "I've been off my game lately though. Quinn says it's guilt and she's probably right. But she didn't have any genius ideas for what to do about it. All she said was I had to stop talking to her and stop looking at her all the time. I sure as hell can do that now that she's being such a bitch. Don't know why I ever thought that if I could convince her to be with me for one night that she'd want to be with me other nights too. I'm an idiot though, thinking she'd see something in me over him. And it's not that I wanted to be a backstabbing asshole to my best friend either. It just seemed like he wasn't into Q as much anymore and I'd always had a hard on for her."

Puck paused and drew a deep breath. "I might've screwed things up this time...But I come from a long line of screw-ups, so what do you expect? I can't think of a single thing in my life that hasn't gone to shit sooner or later because of some dumbass move on my part. Not one. Oh, and I guess if I'm being honest here, I should say I'm not the star of the football team or anything else. That title goes to Finn Hudson, captain of everything, the guy everyone loves. I may sound jealous or whatever, but hell, I love that dude too. Best friends from day one. I'm pretty sure he'll never forgive me once he finds out what I did. Such a screw-up..."

Kurt stopped recording and called "Cut!" abruptly.

"What?" Puck asked, puzzled and a little embarrassed that he must have messed up already. And then he felt mad to realize that he cared about doing a good job on this damn thing.

"Oh, you were great," Kurt said with a wave of his hand. "I just need to change the batteries in this piece of crap." He started fiddling with the camera, a look of disdain on his face. "I'll be glad for the shoot this weekend when Lauren and Artie will deal with most of this stuff. I'm an _Artist_! I'm not a mechanical type," he grumbled.

Puck almost pointed out that changing batteries in a camera didn't count as mechanical, but he didn't want to get roped into doing anything more than what he already agreed to-and helping with cameras and microphones and shit wasn't part of the deal.

Kurt searched his bag for spare batteries and quickly made the change. Then he looked up at Puck. "But it works out well because I realized I'll need to break up that voice-over anyway. The next paragraphs will be needed later in the film for the reveal of Quinn's pregnancy and the reason you asked Rachel out."

Rachel skipped across the room and planted a kiss on her boyfriend's cheek. "Oh Noah, you were so good!" she bubbled. "Didn't you think so, Kurt?"

Puck flushed slightly at the unexpected praise. "It was just reading," he shrugged.

Kurt agreed with Rachel. "Yes, but you did it very well. And I noticed that while your voice puts on the confident front that I want for your character, it's your mannerisms-when you start to slouch or get that look in your eyes- those are what really reveal the emotion under the surface of the hints from your voice alone. So the good news is we won't redo that take, it's golden. The bad news is that I need to figure out how I'm going to film you looking at the camera a bit for some of your other voice work so that the true intent comes across."

"Son of a bitch," Puck cursed.

...

So they (Kurt and Rachel) agreed that Puck would memorize the rest of his voice-over lines to have some filmed as though he were talking to the camera like those documentary-type shows (like _The Office_) because Kurt was already planning to use that style for himself and for Rachel.

"Well Noah Puckerman, that means you've moved up to being listed as a main star in this production-the inner circle formerly inhabited by only Rachel and me! Welcome to the top-billed cast!" Kurt enthused with a clap of his hands. "Super-exciting, right?" he asked with a bit of sarcasm because it was obvious that Puck was less than thrilled with the expanded role.

"Fuck off."

"Noah!" Rachel admonished.

But Kurt didn't care that Puck cursed at him. He just realized that if Puck was a camera-monologuing star now, he not only had to figure out how to work that into the movie as naturally as possible, but also-and more importantly-he had to write a bigger role for Blaine so he'd be in the inner circle of starring actors too!

"Learn your lines and we'll meet tomorrow after school for more work before the group scene filming this weekend," Kurt said hurriedly. "I've gotta go do some rewrites!"

As Puck and Rachel left the music room, Kurt headed down the hall to the school library. He had another filming appointment with Finn and Quinn after Quinn's Cheerios practice. That gave him an hour or so to brainstorm during what would have been his time to record more from Puck and Rachel (voice-overs and a make-out scene). Kurt pulled out his laptop and willed inspiration to strike.

...

As the end of Cheerios practice slowly approached, Quinn found herself oddly looking forward to working on Kurt's project with Finn. It was a bit awkward considering he's her ex-boyfriend, but she felt a sense of comfort holding his hand again. She tried to convince herself that her feelings were natural ones to have about her first real boyfriend. It had no affect on her feelings for Sam. Sam was great, perfect for her even. He was attractive, loyal, sweet, and would give her pretty little blond children. Her mother was the one who pointed that out, along with the 'genetic roulette' she might be playing if she ever had children with the likes of Finn Hudson.

Fortunately, Judy Fabray did not do much to disparage Finn when the pregnancy was first revealed, but after Quinn was forced to admit that Puck was the father, Judy really spoke her mind. 'Your baby may have dodged a bullet, Quinnie,' she had said. 'Sure, we don't know what's lurking in those Jewish genes except that his father is a philandering mess, but what attractive man isn't these days?' Judy said of Puck and his dad. 'But we do know that it's a small miracle that Finn Hudson turned out to be the popular quarterback considering his homely mother and wreck of a father. Your beautiful features and good genes might not be enough to compensate for the frizzy hair and dull eyes that could have won out in your innocent daughter if Finn would have really been the father. It's harsh but it's true,' Judy had insisted to Quinn's protests.

And despite her efforts to dismiss everything her mother had said as the hateful ranting of a woman whose life didn't go the way she'd intended, she couldn't help thinking that her mom had a point on some of the biology. Carole Hudson had been a sad sight until Kurt gave her that makeover... and though Quinn didn't know anything about Finn's dad, she knew from a photo that the man was not very handsome. Sam's dad on the other hand was extremely good-looking, as was Sam's mom, siblings, and of course Sam himself. If she had a daughter with Sam, that baby would be beautiful. It was silly and pointless to think that way about future children, but when Judy took so well to Sam it made Quinn's life easier than constantly fighting with her parents about her choices. Her dad wasn't really in her life now, but still, starting over with Sam made things feel...simpler.

So Quinn resolved to enjoy this time working on Kurt's movie without getting carried away and letting herself do something she'd regret.

But that was easier said than done.

…

Kurt heard Finn and Quinn approaching before he saw them enter the library. Quinn's laughter reached him and something about how genuine it sounded made Kurt scramble to get the camera to record them as they came through the doorway. And boy were his instincts right! Quinn was smiling and her cheeks were rosy as she leaned into Finn who was bending toward her with a grin. Kurt was thrilled that they appeared to be flirting, even if they weren't. Not because he cared at all who they dated but because it would make his job easier to sell them as a couple. A couple who started out making sense but who drifted apart...leading to the biggest, most dramatic break-up in school history.

Quinn was the first to tear her eyes away to notice the camera. She raised an eyebrow at Kurt, who finally stopped recording.

"That was great, guys," he said.

"Huh?" Finn grunted as he straightened and shifted a half-step away from Quinn.

The move wasn't subtle, but even though Kurt noticed this signal that Finn was feeling guilty for something, he didn't bring it up. Instead, he explained that he filmed them briefly already, but he would need a bit more footage of them as a couple and separately.

"If you need us to kiss," Finn started, again without subtlety, "we should probably do it now before Sam gets here."

"Finn!" Quinn squealed as she swatted her hand to harmlessly slap his arm. "You can't say things like that!"

But her eyes were shining so brightly and she didn't hide her smile, so Finn didn't feel bad for saying it at all. He just grinned and shrugged. "What? I'm just suggesting..."

"It's obvious what you're suggesting, Finn," Kurt cut in. "And I guess it wouldn't hurt to get a kiss on film."

"See! I was right!" Finn said proudly as Quinn blushed.

"How should we do this scene?" she asked nervously.

Kurt thought for a moment. "Just start from where you are, smiling at each other like before. Then take a seat here at the study table and kiss before you get some books out of your bags. Ok?"

Quinn nodded. Finn replied with an enthusiastic, "Cool!"

Kurt smirked. "Do you want me to show you how to stage kiss?"

"Nah," Finn shook his head. "It'll look better if it's real, right?"

Kurt chuckled. "Yes, Finn, thank you for being so considerate of my film."

"Anytime," he grinned goofily.

Then they all heard a noise behind them coming from the bookshelves. "Yeah, anything for the film," said Sam to the surprised trio.

"Sam!" Quinn gasped as she rushed to his side. "When did you get here?"

"I came here after class. I figured I could do homework while you were in practice and be here to help Kurt while you did your thing and then take you home. But I guess I fell asleep."

Finn looked at Sam suspiciously. "If you were here to help Kurt, why did you wait so long to come out here and help?"

"Like I said," Sam said sharply, "I fell asleep. I started hearing voices but at first I thought I was dreaming. Or having a nightmare I guess."

"Oh, Sam, I'm so sorry," Quinn gushed in a panic. "Finn and I don't have to kiss!"

Sam shook his head. "No, don't let me stop you."

"Really?" Finn asked with a hopeful smile.

"Really," Sam said flatly. "But you don't have to look so happy about it."

"Sorry," Finn replied as he tried to give a serious frown. Then he turned to Kurt. "But I'm still supposed to smile at Quinn when you start the camera, right?"

Quinn spoke up immediately. "I don't feel comfortable with a kissing scene that may not even be used in your movie, Kurt. Where is the script, anyway? There is a script, right?" She was babbling hurriedly in a way that could have come from her concern for her boyfriend's feelings...or from her concern that she almost got caught doing something she didn't want to admit was more than just a friendly acting session.

Kurt pulled out scripts from his bag. "Yes, I have copies for you both. I am doing a few last re-writes, but you two should be minimally affected."

Finn and Quinn flipped through the pages, relieved to have something to look at besides each other or Sam's sad-mad face.

Kurt glanced around the room in the awkward silence. "Well, I think that's enough for today so you can start learning lines. Quinn, I'll need to coordinate a time with you for tomorrow. Finn, I won't need to film you again until Friday."

"Great!" Finn replied too brightly. "Catch you later!" he called as he bolted out of there.

"Don't forget to reserve this weekend for filming too!" Kurt called after him. Then he reminded himself out loud that he'd see Finn at home.

Sam and Quinn were still standing there quietly.

"You two can head out too," Kurt suggested. "I'll just text you about the schedule, Quinn, but I assume it will be just like today."

Sam mumbled something about how he hoped it wouldn't be like today.

"Yes, Kurt, I'll have Cheerios again, so the time will be the same as today," Quinn confirmed with almost indignant insistence.

Kurt wondered if she immediately told herself a lie when she was caught flirting with Finn...a lie to say that she wasn't flirting, just helping a friend get into film school...like if she lied to herself she could make everyone believe it, and maybe then the lie would become true!

Though he didn't know it, Kurt was basically right.

...

On the drive home, Quinn convinced herself and an emotional and confused Sam that she had only been acting and following directions because she really wanted to help her good friend Kurt.

Sam convinced himself that he must have been dreaming some of what he overheard and that he should trust Quinn. If she didn't want to be with him, she would just break up, right? He felt unsettled and unsure, but he forced himself to get back to normal and not make something out of nothing.

Quinn was relieved when Sam dropped her off at home with a smile and a kiss goodbye like everything was fine.

She would make everything fine again. She had to. Quinn had a plan for her life. It included going to college with Sam and getting married. It didn't include getting pregnant with Puck's baby and lying to Finn about it. When her life veered off a plan, bad things happened. She needed to move on and be normal. That meant she didn't want constant reminders of where she went wrong. That meant she needed to stay strong. She didn't want to go down a road with Puck and Beth...even if she was tempted to see her baby, their baby, again. She knew it would be too hard and too much of a diversion off of the course she had planned for a great, normal life. She didn't want to get involved with Finn again either-his face just reminded her of what a terrible person she was. It would have been better, easier, if he still hated her. He _should_ hate her. That's what she deserved. But the way he had been acting so kind to her again had slipped her up and muddled her thoughts.

_Get a hold of yourself, Quinn_, she told herself angrily as she tried to fall asleep. _Quinn Fabray Evans, Quinn Fabray Evans_, she chanted quietly, trying to force images of Sam to overwhelm the images of Finn in her mind.

...

The next day, Quinn actually started looking through the pages Kurt had given her. Although it seemed like she was only given a partial script-only scenes where she had to say or do something, she was pretty upset with what she read. While waiting for Sam to pick her up to drive to school, she sent off a furious text to Kurt telling him that she was quitting the film if he insisted on including her pregnancy.

When Sam arrived and heard how mad Quinn was and how she told Kurt that she was quitting, he couldn't contain his smile. If Quinn was willing to quit, then it must mean that she wasn't hung up on Finn, right?

"Yeah, that was pretty shady of Kurt, roping you into doing a few easy scenes and then dropping this on you at the last minute," Sam agreed.

"I know, right?" exclaimed Quinn dramatically, happy to feel justified in her outrage.

"Now we don't have to spend all weekend working on Kurt's film!" he added cheerfully.

Quinn nodded but had lost her excitement for some reason. "I just hope I won't ruin Kurt's chances of getting into film school if I drop out..." she ventured.

"That's his problem," Sam shrugged.

"That's right. If he wants me to stay in, then he has to drop the pregnancy storyline, end of discussion."

Sam glanced away from the road to steal a look at Quinn. "Oh, I thought you already quit. I didn't know you had a...condition or whatever."

"Yes, I made a condition. I'd show you the text I sent to Kurt now, but I don't want to distract you from driving."

Sam nodded. "Yeah, thanks. Well, the ball is in his court now." He prayed that Kurt would hold out and not drop the baby story. But at least he could take some comfort in Quinn's willingness to quit the movie and that her concern was just about how her leaving could hurt Kurt's chances for college.

He looked at Quinn again and smiled nervously.

She smiled back beautifully with a curious look in her eyes as she asked, "What?"

"Oh nothing," he answered. "Everything's fine."

He turned his eyes back to the road and hoped he was right.

Quinn hoped so too.

...

Reading Quinn's ultimatum-by-text, Kurt started panicking first, thinking he'd have to write-out the pregnancy or find another actress. And then he started to get mad. He did _not_ have time for this diva bullcrap! But the anger gave way to intense focus-like he was a problem-solving machine. He knew exactly how to deal.

He started with a detailed email about how essential the 'Quinn' character was to his story and how the pregnancy was pivotal to several connecting storylines. In a paragraph that was partly true and partly flattery, he lamented that there was absolutely nobody else who could play this role. He then suggested a compromise (though it was an idea he was toying with all along)...that the pregnancy would stay in the story but she would lose the baby. This could be even more dramatic for the film but easier for Quinn to separate herself from her character and allow her inner actress to shine. Kurt vowed that he would let her use any footage of the tremendous acting he expected she would show in these dramatic scenes. Because clearly Quinn Fabray belongs in the Arts, so surely she's applying to top drama programs in Ohio and beyond.

After firing off his brilliant email, he planned to intercept Quinn at lunch to persuade her in person.

She never stood a chance against him.

...

By the time school ended, Kurt felt like he had been super-productive. He had added parts for Blaine. He had a revised plan for Puck's monologue. He had gotten Quinn back on board (with the compromise that he'd cut scenes about The Lie so she didn't have to relive her worst days). And he still had energy to spare. Which was good because he still had a lot to do.

Now he was ready to film some scenes with Puck, Quinn, and Rachel immediately so he could still have time to film some scenes with Blaine tonight.

"I hope you're up for the challenge, Puckerman," Kurt said as he handed his unlikely star the staging directions and re-writes.

Puck shrugged. "We'll see." It didn't really matter to him if Kurt got into film school, so why should he stress about it? Of course, Rachel had gone over his lines with him forever last night, so that shit was seared into his brain. He only had to remember one thing Kurt had changed this morning that was different from what he had memorized last night.

Kurt looked nervous, which amused Puck. It served the little fluffer right for acting like everyone owed it to him to help with his movie.

Puck watched Rachel turn the corner into a classroom to 'get her mark' for the stage directions Kurt had given her for this scene. Nobody else was in the halls, which Puck thought would look weird and fake, but Kurt said it didn't matter. He was going to film Puck watching Rachel for part of the voiceover, watching Quinn for another part, and use the football footage too. Puck felt like a dumbfuck, but he started talking to Kurt and the camera, reciting his stupid lines.

"So I've had a thing for Quinn since I first saw her. I mean, look at her, who wouldn't?"

The camera panned to Quinn at her locker, nodded as if the invisible person agreed, and then turned back to Puck, who was leaning against another set of lockers.

"And I knew I shouldn't have tried to get with her while she was with Finn, but I couldn't stop myself. She wouldn't have anything to do with me after that. It wasn't until Finn told me that she was moving to Arizona with her aunt that I knew...I must've gotten her preggo. I just knew it. And at first maybe I was glad she'd leave to have the baby and keep it all a secret. Then I thought that this was my chance to win her over so we could be together."

Kurt called "Cut," to end that scene. Next in the film would probably be a scene where Quinn shuts Puck down. But the next scene he was going to record would be Puck's monologue about Rachel, which would take place a bit later in the movie. Kurt wanted to ease everyone into the process of being on film, and he didn't think that throwing them into emotional scenes with other 'actors' would be good strategy. Especially after Rachel had called him on that when he had first started filming with Puck.

"Rachel, you're up!"

Rachel was startled to hear Kurt's voice. She had been listening intently and uncomfortably to Noah's words about Quinn. She knew that she still had insecurities surrounding his feelings, but she hadn't anticipated how those feelings would emerge so strongly while working on Kurt's film. She was glad she didn't have any lines. She walked to her mark and gave a slight nod to signal she was ready.

Filming resumed with Puck's next monologue. It felt weird to Puck that they were filming the story out of order, like in this scene he was supposed to talk about throwing slushies at Rachel even though they hadn't actually acted that part out. But since he lived it in order, he supposed that acting out Kurt's story in short bursts at different times would be better…easier to handle or whatever. He watched as Quinn walked down the hall and Rachel entered.

"Quinn isn't making it easy to be together though, and on top of that, I have to get the guilt trips from Mom about never bringing home a nice Jewish girl. And she doesn't even know yet about the goya her son knocked up," he said, even though he hated that line and Kurt's attempt to add some Jew flavor to the script or something. "But her nagging got me thinking that if I brought home a Jewish girl at least once, I could have a whole story that we broke up, then I got all sad and sappy or whatever and got Quinn pregnant. Maybe Mom would feel bad for me and not have a conniption over the whole Quinn thing-at least maybe chill her rage a little. So I was on the look-out for any hot Jewish girls at school and was kinda surprised to realize that the new girl I kept launching slushies at was a hot Jew. I guess I hadn't actually bothered to really look at her before—she was just the annoying girl that Quinn and the others hated. She made an easy target for a slushie. Since I had to be on her shit-list, it was probably a long shot, but I figured, what the hell, I should at least try to see if I could get her to date me. At least get her to come over to the house once for dinner or some shit. That would get my mom off my back, and maybe if I'm really lucky it would make Quinn jealous. It was pretty genius. Wish me luck."

Kurt finished filming Puck watching Rachel and called "Cut," even though it wasn't really necessary.

"Quinn, do you want to film a scene with Puck while you're both here?" Kurt ventured, thinking that he could be more efficient with his time if they filmed at least one of the scenes between the two of them.

"I'm not really prepared," she replied.

"Me either," added Puck.

"I guess that's fair," Kurt nodded, "considering the addition of the miscarriage storyline, maybe it's best to let me do that re-write and film everything over the weekend."

Quinn nodded while both Puck and Rachel gaped. "Miscarriage?" Puck repeated.

"It's a compromise," Kurt explained. "Now Quinn won't have to do certain scenes she didn't want to, and I get all the drama without having to deal with an actual birth or bringing up a character like Shelby Corcoran and her connection to all of this."

"What the fuck, Kurt?" Puck erupted. "Now I'm going to have to fake cry after my fake baby dies? I thought I didn't have to do very much for this stupid movie and you keep changing it all on me!"

"Oh honey," Kurt shook his head almost sympathetically. "You didn't think you were going to have to show emotion in the original version where your friends turn against you for backstabbing Finn and your daughter gets adopted out of your life? I'm sorry to say you're mistaken."

Puck just crossed his arms angrily and grunted a furious, "Whatever, asshole."

This time, Rachel didn't scold him for his bad language. She had focused in on Kurt's mention of Shelby and hadn't really heard anything after that. She thought that she may have a message to return from Shelby that had arrived weeks ago. Rachel almost felt guilty for taking the start of a relationship with her biological mother for granted, as difficult as it was. But she assured herself that she had more important things to deal with and since Shelby had waited so long to contact her, the woman could wait until Rachel was good and ready to reply. Maybe she would respond in a few weeks and tie it to Valentine's Day…unless it's weird for a bio-daughter to wish her bio-mother Happy Valentine's Day.

Rachel contemplated this as she heard Noah say, "Let's go."

"That was a short filming session," she remarked absently as she realized that they were finished and had reached the parking lot.

"Not short enough," Puck huffed.

...

Kurt didn't let Puck's outburst bother him. Since Puck didn't say the words _I quit_, Kurt didn't think he had to worry. He had another scene to film, but this one would be at Artie's house so that Artie could film and direct a scene for him and Blaine. Every scene couldn't take place at the school, and this one was supposed to be a real heart-to-heart about the bullying situation that Kurt had written to show how he relied on Blaine to help him through the hard times.

Blaine was already there when Kurt pulled into Artie's driveway. They started right into the scene because Artie's mom pointed out that it was a school night and they had to finish before it got too late. Artie already had signs posted around the house that pointed out which locations would be used for the film and commanding that everyone stay Quiet on the Set. Kurt thought it was charming that Artie was so enthusiastic about directing. But he replaced his smile with a distraught frown as he acted out the scenes of knocking on Blaine's door, sitting together in the kitchen, and telling him about the latest bullying attack and how Karofsky seemed to have him targeted for no reason.

Kurt sighed. "Thanks so much for listening, Blaine, you really are my rock. Sometimes I wish you'd just transfer and go to public school with me so I could see you all the time."

Blaine leaned toward him across the table. "Don't you think I've thought about it?"

Kurt blinked, taken aback. That wasn't in the script. They were supposed to talk about Kurt transferring. "No..." he said cautiously, searching Blaine's face for signs he should tell Artie to cut. Artie started scanning the script frantically, but decided to keep rolling.

Blaine continued. "I _have_ thought about it, but I didn't mention it because I know that I'd be a complete mess if I went to your school. I'm not as brave as you are. I want to be, it's a huge regret I have, not standing up to my tormentors at my old school. But I'm just not as courageous as you are."

"Me? Braver than you are? You're the most self-assured, strongest person I know!"

"Only in my _Zero Tolerance for Bullying _Private School," Blaine confessed with chagrin. "I want to be strong for you, and I really get this great feeling when you tell me that I help you and give good advice...but I'm sure I'll revert to my old self if I'm put back into a situation like the one you're facing with Karofsky. I wish you could go to school at Dalton with me, it's so much safer. It's not perfect of course, but I'd feel better knowing that I wouldn't be visiting you in the hospital after some homophobic bullies attack. If there were any way you could do that... I'm also so...in awe of you for your strength. But if things get too dangerous, I want you to promise me that you'll choose being safe over seeming strong."

Kurt's eyes were shining with unshed tears at Blaine's sincerity, even though Blaine had found his way back to the scripted part. He wondered if this was Blaine's way of telling him that he wished he'd stayed at Dalton instead of transferring back to McKinley. But Kurt took his opening to get back to the script. "I'm not strong. I'm weak. I...I tried to kill myself..."

"What? When?" Blaine exclaimed in the best acting job Kurt had ever seen. Blaine scooted his chair next to Kurt's and grabbed his hand. "Are you ok?"

Kurt flushed with anxiety; he hoped he could do justice to the role he'd written. "I'm getting there."

...

Between Blaine's impressive and emotional acting debut in their first scene together and the rewrites he had to do, Kurt felt like he was in a tailspin. He wanted to take time to appreciate every moment, but his calendar insisted on reminding him of his application deadlines. It was a good wake-up call to evaluate what he still needed to do and what sacrifices he could make for the sake of time.

And there was one thing he'd been putting off doing that he really had to address. So that night after he and Blaine left Artie's house, Kurt called Dave Karofsky on Skype and waited for the connection to start working.

"Hey, Kurt," Karofsky greeted him with a wave but got right to the point. "I got the file you sent, but I don't know what you want. My permission?"

"No! Well, I guess your permission would be good. Didn't you see my casting announcement? I want you to play the role of...you!"

"What?" Karofsky exclaimed. "I can't act! I haven't even finished reading this thing!"

"Oh no worries! It's not hard. It's like reliving more than acting. But I'll let you peruse in private while I browse YouTube or something. I'll check back in shortly," Kurt finished with a breezy wave.

Kurt waited nervously as Dave read over the scenes he'd highlighted. He knew they were intense and personal. He tried to look away from the image of Dave on his screen, but he couldn't keep his curiosity at bay for long. He watched as Dave's eyebrows furrowed and his lips twisted into a frown. Quickly Kurt assured him, "It's fictionalization of course. I wrote it to play up dramatic themes. This isn't a reflection of...current or true affairs. And nobody but me knows the entirety of what's true and what's been stretched or changed."

Dave grunted without looking toward the webcam. Finally he shook his head. "I'm sorry, Kurt. There's really just no way I can do this. It was bad enough how I treated you. Then to have to act it out...plus the other parts...not everyone knows about that."

Kurt nodded. He was afraid he'd get this reaction. "But the people who would be in the scene are just you, me, and Blaine. We already know...about the kiss, so it's not a surprise for us. Nobody else has to be involved"

Dave asked about another scene, pages ahead. "Is this true?" He dropped to a whisper. "Did I make you try to...kill yourself?"

"That's me being dramatic," Kurt assured him sincerely. "I never seriously thought about that, but it seemed to be an important perspective to tell in this story. I figured I'd never get anyone else to play such a dark role, so I made it for my character." Kurt was surprised when he thought he saw tears shining in Dave's eyes. But his screen resolution and the lighting weren't good enough for him to be sure.

"I'm glad you never..." he sputtered. "Because I've thought...I'm just really sorry."

"I know. It's ok," Kurt said with a comforting hand uselessly inching toward the computer screen. "So...I was hoping maybe you could come home to Lima for a weekend so you and I could film these scenes. And some we'd coordinate with Blaine."

Kurt hadn't heard his bedroom door open behind him. So when Blaine spoke, he was startled.

"Coordinate with me for what?"

"Oh! You're here!" Kurt exclaimed. "What are you doing here? I thought you were on your way home!"

"I was, until I hit a pot-hole or something in the dark and got a flat tire and bent the rim. You didn't answer your cell, but your dad came to get me and my car is in his shop as we speak. My parents said I can spend the night here and just get up early to help your dad with the wheel and then I'll drive to Dalton."

Dave Karofsky coughed awkwardly. "Well, I'll let you two…whatever, and I'll get going. Catch ya later."

"Wait!" Kurt shrieked embarrassingly. "Dave, we're not done, you can't disconnect yet!" Then he turned back to Blaine. "I'm so sorry about your car, but I'm glad you're here! I was just asking Dave if he could be in the film."

Blaine tried to hide his distaste for the idea. But he didn't have to wait long for relief. Karofsky squelched the idea.

"Kurt, I'm sorry, really. But I just can't."

"You can do it, I know you can!" Kurt prodded.

Blaine put a hand on his shoulder. "Kurt, he doesn't want to; you have to respect his decision."

Kurt nodded glumly. "You're right, Blaine. And I'm sorry for pushing you, Dave."

Dave shrugged. "It's ok. I'm really sorry...but I'd still like to see it when you finish, if that's alright..."

"_If _I finish it," Kurt sighed. "Yours will be a hard part to recast."

"Kurt..." Dave started, feeling guilty.

Blaine shook his head. "Don't worry, Dave. Kurt is very resourceful. We'll find a way. You don't need to stress about it."

"Thanks, man," Dave said.

"Yes, of course," Kurt agreed reluctantly. "I'll talk to you later, Dave."

After he disconnected the call, he whined sourly about his sorry state of affairs. "Nobody else could play that part!"

"What about Sam? He's still dying for a role."

"No way," Kurt said immediately. "He's a jock, sure. And he has an exceptional physique..."

"Really?" Blaine blanched. "You've seen his..._physique_?" He tried to play down the twinge of jealousy in his voice.

"Yeah, we all have," Kurt said absently. "Sometimes I forget that you're not with me at school. Anyway, Sam's got muscles and all, but he doesn't have the intimidation factor. You wouldn't know this, but sophomore year when this all started, I was like 6 inches shorter. So Dave towered over me and definitely outweighed me...I just don't think the effect is the same unless someone physically imposing plays the part."

"Is there a joke about how short I am coming next? How you tower over me?"

"What? Of course not!"

Blaine nodded and tried to let go of his insecurities so he could ponder Kurt's casting problem. "There is one solution I can think of...do you already know what I'll say?"

"No clue," Kurt shook his head. "I'm drawing a blank."

"The tallest guy in your cast...a jock...and should have some experience as a bully..." he hinted.

"Well, the tallest is Finn, but..." Kurt started doubtfully. "Wait, you're right! If Finn plays Karofsky and Sam plays Finn, we have our cast!" Kurt clapped his hands together then grabbed Blaine by the shoulders and kissed him enthusiastically. "It's genius!"

"I don't know about 'genius' but thanks, Kurt," smiled Blaine. "Glad I could help!"

"Now I have to find out if Finn will do it. He might be pretty unhappy to let all that footage he shot before go to waste and not have the chance to keep playing Quinn's boyfriend. Quinn will probably be pissy too," Kurt worried aloud.

And that was just the beginning of a long list of concerns that would arise.

But Blaine was able to get Kurt's mind off of his worries until they parted ways the next morning.

...

Over breakfast, Kurt proposed the casting changes to his step-brother.

"You want me to do what?" Finn asked with confusion. "This sounds seriously hard. And what about this scene...you actually want me to kiss you?"

Kurt waved away his concern. "It won't be a real kiss. We'll use camera angles and how you'll place your hands to make it look like a kiss."

"But people will see this! And you're my brother now!"

"Finn, it won't be romantic at all. And we can arrange it so that only you and me and one cameraman see it-or maybe we can set up the camera on a tripod. Then the only other people who will see it are admissions agents at schools you're not going to…Please Finn, I'm begging you to help me!"

Eventually, Finn agreed to try.

…

Since Finn Hudson would probably be the least convincing bully ever to be filmed (well, second to Sam Evans), Kurt figured he should prepare to cut down some bullying scenes and beef up his scenes with his mentor, Blaine, who would be a guiding voice of reason in the film and who needed to be a top star in this movie anyway. Then in their scenes they could just talk about terrible bullying without showing much action. But there were a few scenes he thought he had to at least attempt to film.

The first up was the Dumpster Toss Scene, with a group of jocks including Karofsky and Puck throwing him in and calling him trash. That would be his film opener that would pair with Kurt's own monologue.

Later would be the Slushie Scene, in which he wrote Karofsky as a jock helping to convince Puck to start the tradition of tossing a slushie on Rachel.

And most important would be the Kiss Scene, in which he wrote what happened when Karofsky kiss-attacked him almost exactly as he remembered it happening. That would lead to the resolution.

He'd see how Finn did in the Dumpster and Slushie Scenes as a bully before asking him to portray the emotional turmoil of the Kiss Scene.

The whole film was riding on how believable his amateur actors (friends) would be in their roles. And several of these actors were reluctant to play their roles (especially Puck and Finn).

Understandably, Kurt was a nervous wreck.

...

Friday after school was the next big group filming session. Kurt tried to prevent too many people from finding out about his plans, largely to avoid hurting Mercedes' feelings since she wasn't included in the film. But somehow, the secret got out. _Somehow_ was basically a trail that could be traced from Artie to Brittany to everyone else. Fortunately for Kurt, Mercedes was very understanding about the whole thing, at least on the surface (and Kurt didn't have time to dig deeper at the moment). And now that everyone in glee knew about it, he could use it to his advantage for adding some small parts that would help with realism and having extras instead of just a handful of main characters trying to fill every scene.

...

Santana heard that Artie was going to be occupied with Kurt's movie most of the weekend, so she was looking forward to some girl-time with Brittany. But her plans were spoiled when Brit mentioned how excited she was to join in and watch Artie direct. Brittany couldn't be persuaded to ditch Artie for the weekend.

"It wouldn't be fair to Artie," Brittany said solemnly. "He's my boyfriend until we do that trade in college when I become your girlfriend. We're still doing that, right?"

Santana confirmed it instead of trying to manipulate her beautiful, sweet Brittany. But now Santana felt some real motivation to get involved in the filming, if only to hang around with Brittany and get back in Finn's good graces for her Prom Queen plans. So she very sincerely volunteered her time to Kurt, who readily accepted her participation.

...

Puck had the unusual feeling of dreading the end of school...because today it signaled the beginning of filming stuff he really didn't want to do. He wasn't sure he wanted to start into the bullying routine again. It might be kinda fun to fake throwing Kurt into a dumpster, but later he was supposed to slushie Rachel. She assured him she was fine with it, "for the sake of the arts" but Puck wasn't really ok with it. He already made up his mind to go for her boobs instead of hitting her in the face with that stinging ice and syrup when Kurt came over to tell him that they wouldn't have 'prop slushies' so he should "aim for her blouse."

But before Puck could brag that he was going to do that anyway, Kurt called for everyone to take their places and start the Dumpster scene.

And with that, Kurt started singing quietly-but he was wearing a mic like they do on talk shows and reality tv, so he knew his song was being recorded just the way he wanted.

"...cellophane...'Cause you can look right through me, walk right by me, and never know I'm there…" 

Kurt had already recorded a voiceover he would use for this part, so he let his voice fade to a whisper to be sure he could add his spoken words over it in editing. He had basically introduced himself in a short monologue, talked about how he felt invisible until he came out of the closet and how his armor was his sarcastic front. He continued singing like it wasn't bizarre to sing on his way to school. Kurt's song to himself was interrupted as guys in letterman's jackets surrounded him.

"Time to take out the trash!" Finn chuckled as his Karofsky-villian character. "Gimme a hand, Puck, this little fag is getting away!"

Puck grabbed for Kurt, who had squirmed out of Finn's reach, leaving an empty jacket in Finn's hands. The two boys picked Kurt up at the arms and ankles, while Sam stepped in to help open the dumpster lid.

The camera took on Kurt's perspective, getting thrown into the dumpster with a planned toss. But off-camera Kurt climbed in the dumpster (rather than risk being thrown too roughly) and fished the camera back out so Lauren could continue recording. Slowly, Kurt climbed out of the dumpster and sat on the sidewalk, picking trash off of his clothes. Then he looked into the camera. "This was my life, almost every day. I wished I really was cellophane, invisible. No, I wanted to be seen, but I didn't want to be tortured for being myself. And it turned out, I wasn't the only one who felt that way."

Lauren zoomed in for a close-up of Kurt before Artie yelled, "Cut! That was great! Set up for Scene 2, people!"

... 

Moving inside the school, Rachel had her introductory monologue.

"I'm Rachel Berry, and I was born to be a star. I'm very talented," she boasted. "Much too talented for this tiny town." But the camera zoomed in and Rachel softened her expression, hinting at underlying vulnerability. "I'm trying to make the best of it."

Rachel arranged books at her locker in the background as the camera focused on Quinn, Santana, and Brittany in their Cheerios uniforms and Finn, Puck, and Sam in their letterman jackets.

Kurt stopped filming to make sure that Finn hadn't finished drinking the slushie that was supposed to get thrown on Rachel. "Finn, from this point on, either don't bring that straw to your lips or just pretend to suck on it. Actually, no, just give it to Puck."

For some reason, several people laughed or blushed when Kurt had scolded Finn about drinking the stage props...a reason that finally dawned on Kurt a few beats later when Puck said, "Good one...I've never tried asking anyone to pretend to suck on it, but I think I _have_ said 'just give it to Puck' before."

Kurt glared at Puck, who miraculously shut his face. But because several people, especially Rachel and Quinn, were still showing signs of blushing, they couldn't start filming right away. Kurt pretended that he was checking the lighting while commanding that everyone stay in the exact spot from the time the camera stopped rolling. Finally, the girls' faces seemed to return to normal.

"Ok, people, let's start again. Quinn, I hope acting mean to Rachel on camera won't be too difficult for you," Kurt said with mock concern.

"I'm sure I can handle it," Quinn rolled her eyes. What she wasn't sure about was how weird it was to do scenes with Sam that were so close to her real life with Finn. It just felt...off.

And it would probably come through in their scenes together.

But the show must go on.

"Action!" directed Kurt. And the scene unfolded.

"New girl has hideous taste in clothes," Quinn smiled snidely. "How unfortunate."

"Who? Rachel?" Brittany asked in an unscripted line, completely confused by Quinn calling her 'new girl'.

But before Kurt could yell 'cut' in exasperation, Santana ad-libbed to save the scene.

"Yeah, Rachel _I-wanna-be-a-star-but-I-dress-like-a-toddler_ Berry. She was such a know-it-all bitch in History today. It was all I could do not to accidentally elbow her and that huge schnoz."

Brittany giggled.

Sam spoke up for his scripted lines. "I think she's interesting. What's wrong with being smart and answering questions in class?" Then he leaned in and whispered with alarm, "I think she can hear you!"

The three cheerleaders stared at him.

"Whatever," Santana snapped. "Good! She needs to hear it!"

"Sam, this is just girls being girls," Quinn explained soothingly as she nestled her way under his arm. "For example, I just happen to dislike her wardrobe choices. I have nothing against her personally."

Santana nodded. "And anyone with such major wardrobe malfunctions on top of her clear case of social awkwardness will have a hard time making it in this world. We're just helping her figure that out sooner rather than later."

Brittany smiled at Santana's words of wisdom.

Finn, in his role as the Karofsky-like bully, nudged Puck. "Maybe someone needs to help her figure out her wardrobe malfunctions." Finn eyed the slushie in Puck's hand. "Get my drift?"

Puck looked noticeably distraught-but he wasn't acting. He really wasn't sure if he could do this. Not to Rachel. Not again.

Quinn smiled and met Puck's eyes. Finn reached for the cup but Puck jerked his hand away, sloshing the contents violently enough against the lid that he nearly spilled it early. But he recovered. "I got this," he said smoothly as he strode up to Rachel.

She turned to face him with a curious smile. He knew she was acting, but fuck, she looked at him almost the same way she had...the first time he'd slushied her.

He paused. His resolve wavered again.

But Rachel stepped closer. "Noah?" She straightened her shoulders and lowered her notebook, giving him access to her bright white blouse as his slushie target.

"It's Puck," he said gruffly as he jerked his arm just right to splash the slushie as planned. He felt terrible as he heard Rachel gasp with the cold shock of the ice and watched the purple grape syrup spread a stain across her boobs and drip down her skirt.

"Shit," he muttered.

Finn gulped at the sight and felt a tug in his chest seeing Rachel so destroyed. He'd never slushied her, but still, he felt waves of guilt crashing over him. He tried to get back in character and congratulate Puck on his aim.

On camera, Finn looked noticeably shocked but it seemed reasonable to Kurt even though he hadn't specified that Finn should act that way. In fact, one purpose of the movie was to hint at a truth it took Kurt himself a while to understand...that there's always another perspective. That even bullies have emotions and often reasons for their behavior, however wrong and misguided. It was actually a great bonus that Finn by his natural reaction showed how a bully could be jarred by how bad something really was after the fact when it had seemed like a funny prank before delivery. Kurt had expected a reaction from Puck that would demonstrate this point without spelling it out yet. Even with the obvious reaction by Finn, nobody looked more distraught than Puck. He looked miserable, even more miserable than poor Rachel.

And that was just what Kurt wanted to capture. Everything was going his way!

It even worked when the mic caught Brittany whispering (unscripted), "I can't believe he did that."

So Kurt hoped that as long as Finn wasn't painfully awful as Karofsky in bigger scenes, this film might actually be almost as good as he'd envisioned. But he needed reassurance that it wasn't all in his head, that the others thought it was good too.

Kurt nervously addressed his cast and crew. "So what did you think of our first scene of the day? Too far with the slushie gag? Not far enough?"

Everyone nodded, seeming to indicate they thought the scene was fine, but nobody spoke up. Rachel was busy toweling off.

"C'mon, people!" Kurt called out. "I'm dying for some real feedback here! The sooner I get some, the sooner we'll move on..." he bargained.

That gave him some vocal affirmations of how the scene was just fine.

"It was perfect, Kurt!" Rachel exclaimed.

But Kurt knew she had her own reasons not to have to do another take, so he didn't take much stock in her praise. "Anybody else? Thoughts?"

"I'll be honest," Finn joked, "You could've used a little more cowbell."

He was greeted with blank stares.

"What?" Finn asked the group. "Nobody watches SNL reruns? Christopher Walken? Anyone?"

Kurt sighed. "Now, Finn, I know that you bonded with my dad over his Saturday Night Live collections, but honestly, I was hoping for more constructive assessments."

Sam piped up with his best Walken impression. "Maybe you should've said, _I've got a fever and the only prescription is more cowbell_!"

Finn cracked up laughing. "Yes!" Finally someone who got it. "That was hilarious, man!"

Quinn giggled and shook her head. "You two are so dumb."

"I give up," Kurt sighed. "We'll just move on because I think it's going great!"

Finn grinned sheepishly and apologized to Kurt for his joke. But he caught Quinn's eye and flashed a smile. Sure, she'd just called him dumb, but she laughed when she said it. Her cute laugh, not her sarcastic bitchy one. He realized that this was Quinn's way of joining in without being accused of acting immature. Sometimes she said mean things she didn't think were mean. And even when she was being mean, she was still so pretty. Just look at her, biting her lip and shaking her head at him. He wished he could just kiss her right then and there.

Finn felt bad for his messed up thoughts about Quinn. He liked Sam. They probably could've been even better friends.

Maybe if they hadn't been after the same things.

...

They filmed a few more scenes that Puck didn't care about at all. He was just ready for it to be over so he could talk to Rachel. He waited until they were down the hall, heading toward their lockers away from everyone else.

"I'm so sorry about today," Puck said, his voice strained with emotion.

Rachel just looked at him, puzzled. She was about to ask for clarification when he spoke again.

"The slushie thing, acting like a dick."

She smiled and wrapped her arms around him. "You don't have to apologize! It's just acting!"

He shook his head. "This time it was acting, but it came from real stuff I did...I never want to do that again."

"Then you won't," she hugged him tightly. "Well, except for tomorrow..."

"What's tomorrow?"

"A big slushie scene. Didn't you see Kurt's re-write?" Rachel asked as she tried not to smile too broadly.

"What?" Puck nearly shouted.

Rachel giggled. "Just kidding!"

He tried to give her a dirty look, but that broke down into a smirk, which gave way to a smile. "You think you're so funny, don't you?" Puck joked.

"Maybe..." she grinned and blushed a little.

She looked so hot. He knew she wasn't experienced, but this seemed like the next obvious thing to do after she had been so bad.

She had already ducked into his arms for what she thought was an apology-hug when Puck had decided to sneak a spanking.

The smack of his hand on her ass stung his palm a bit, so he felt guilty when she jumped on contact and knew she had to feel a sting too.

She did.

She mostly jumped out of surprise from the unexpected slap on her rear, but her winter tights and flannel skirt had cushioned the blow so it wasn't really painful. Still, she felt like his hand left a burning imprint. She was shocked, appalled, and strangely excited. Before she could process what was happening, the mild burning pain radiated in waves to become a warm tingling sensation between her legs.

"Man, I got you good," Puck said almost apologetically as he rubbed the site of his attack to try to dull the pain while enjoying what he could feel of her shape from outside of her skirt.

Breathlessly she whispered, "You did," and hugged him even tighter, pressing her body firmly to his and surprising them both.

Needless to say, Puck was pleased by her apparently positive reaction. He cupped her ass and let his hand ride under her skirt as he backed up to the lockers for stability. He picked her up in his arms, knowing that she felt his growing erection as he held her against him.

Rachel kissed him immediately, even though she couldn't believe what she was doing. She should be offended that he thought he could get away with spanking her like that! She should be embarrassed to have her legs wrapped around his hips in the school hallway like this! She should be...but she didn't have room for those thoughts for more than a second before her body took over and drowned her inhibitions. She was pulsing with desire for him and felt as though they were connected by a throbbing heat in their cores.

"Holy fuck," Puck whispered as he lowered her slowly to the ground, feeling her soft curves along the way. He knew they couldn't do it here. This was just a warm-up. He had an idea. He was going to push things a bit beyond what they'd done so far. It had been miraculous enough that she'd ever had sex with him, and still wanted to...be with him or whatever. But it seemed like Rachel was on fire after that swat on the ass, so there was gonna be more of that ASAP.

"Let's get outta here," he said hoarsely, grabbing his coat and forgetting whatever shit he had left in his locker.

She nodded eagerly-so eagerly it would have been funny if Puck hadn't been struggling to contain his erection. That made her bobble-headed delight almost painful to endure-they were both so ready for this, but they had to get someplace private.

They couldn't keep themselves apart long enough to drive home-besides someone could be home at either residence. Puck just pulled the truck around to the back parking lot of the high school where no other cars remained. Snow was falling from the dark January sky, but Puck killed the engine and the heater-they wouldn't need it in a few minutes.

Rachel didn't need instructions. She promptly made herself comfortable straddling his lap, already fondling him through his jeans and feeling for his zipper. She unzipped his fly but before going further she peeled off her coat and let it fall to the floor.

"Hot already," she murmured.

"Yeah, you are," he answered with amusement. But he was grateful too. He ran his hands over her sweater, skimming her boobs, reveling in her shape. He thought about pulling that sweater off, but changed his mind, afraid she'd get too cold. He popped open her bra though, so he could reach his hand underneath for a good feel. Then he hiked up her skirt and was dismayed to find that she had on leggings or something that he had to pull down-not like her knee socks that she'd wear when it wasn't so cold.

She realized the roadblock came from her tights, so she wiggled out of them gracelessly, but quickly, which was all that mattered to them both at the moment. She shivered as the cold air and leather seats chilled her bare legs, but she wasn't concerned. She knew she'd warm up soon.

She gasped as he entered her with little warning-though she had positioned herself for his entry so she shouldn't have been surprised. She was just...full.

"Noah..." her frosty breath visible like smoke in the air.

Puck smirked as he leaned back in the seat. On his thrust, he held her hip in one hand and with the other gave her a little smack on the ass. Light but firm. His hand landed a bit higher than he would have liked, but it was damn near impossible to get the right angle when she was riding him cowgirl style in his truck cab. The difficulty just gave him ideas for the next go-around they could have when they were actually in a bed and he could give it to her right. But his off-target spank had done the trick. She rocked forward, pushing her clit against him and driving him deeper inside her with that push of his hand.

She gasped again at the sensations, then arched her back in a silent request for more.

Puck was eager to fulfill that request.

His next one was more on the mark, centered just right.

Rachel felt vibrations from the outside in and moaned with the new pleasure. She had unconsciously pushed herself farther forward and Puck took advantage of the perfect position to root his way under her bra. When his lips found her, she sighed and arched into him further.

In no time, the air was hot and the windows had a fog to shield them from being seen.

Not that anyone passed by to see.

Not that they would have cared if they had been caught.

They were bound together, warm on a cold night.

And that was all that mattered for now.

...

**A.N.** Hope you enjoyed! Let me know! I'm home sick today, but planning to get some more writing done, along with responding to messages from some of you back from early 2012! I'll have a Contest Question when I finally get to the end of the "Drifting" chapters to conclude Kurt's movie. Then we'll have chapters that include Valentine's Day, a talent show, Prom, graduation, and much more ahead.


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